Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Captain Benson sits down in her office chair, exhausted. Oscar Papa is behind bars and had reassured her that her son is now safe. She lets out a long sigh, closing her eyes. Noah is safe. This is over. The stress of the last few weeks catches up with her as the adrenaline that had kept her standing fades away. As much as she wants to savor the moment, she’s overwhelmed by sadness as she thinks about her last conversation with Duarte. He didn’t deserve this. She should have insisted on giving him a ride. Her rational side takes control of her thoughts as she tells herself that if it wasn’t in the bodega, BX9 would have found him elsewhere.

She forces herself to open her eyes before she falls asleep in the chair and looks at the time on her cell. 5 pm. If she hit the road now, she could be at the McAnn’s after dinner and bring home Noah tonight. But she still has paperwork to finish and she’s in no shape to drive 4 hours. She missed her boy so much during all of this, even though she was grateful he was safe and away.

She wants him back in their home, wants to feel safe, with him. She could ask Amanda or Sonny to go pick him up. But she knows Carisi had court early tomorrow and Amanda is swamped in grading her first papers. She looks out the window to see Fin, looking as exhausted as her, trying to stay awake in front of his computer. As her thoughts progress, she feels the familiar twitch in her stomach. She decides to use her tired state as her excuse to call the person she trusts the most, even though she hasn’t let herself acknowledge that lately. She picks up her phone and finds his contact.

They haven’t spoken in a while. Her doing, of course. She couldn’t have handled Elliot’s protectiveness after BX9 attached her. It would have been too much, too soon. And so she had asked Fin not to tell him anything and had avoided his calls, only answering a few generic texts here and there. Now that the situation is under control, she leans into her need to hear his voice.   

“Hey.” He picks up on the second ring.

“Hi.” She hopes she doesn’t sound as tired as she feels.

“Everything okay?” apparently she failed.

“Yeah…it is now. Sorry I’ve been off the grid that last couple of weeks…”

“It’s okay.” He answers, but she knows he’s been anxious to talk. “I was actually just about to call you.”

She’s surprised.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I’m a couple of blocks from the precinct and I thought I’d stop by if you have time for coffee..?” he’s hesitant, but his sudden invitation makes her heart beat a little bit faster.

“Oh. I…” she feels her cheek throb as she remembers that he hasn’t seen her black eye yet…she’s not even sure he knows about it. He deserves to before she asks for her favor tonight. “I don’t have a lot of time, but come down anyway. I wanted to ask you something.”

He takes a few seconds more than necessary to respond.

“Alright. I’ll be there in 10.”

“Sounds good.”

When she hangs up, Olivia’s breath quickens at the thought of seeing him. Of him seeing her like this. Of his reaction and of hers. But it was time.

Chapter Text

Muncy sees her Captain get out of her office and walks to her Sergeant. Sitting straighter in her chair, Grace is readying herself for her next orders. Benson looks exhausted, not that anyone can blame her, and the Detective really wants to be there for her.

“Fin, I have a call schedule with McGrath in 2 minutes, but Stabler is coming here.”

Muncy frowns as she was not expecting the conversation to be personal. She sits back, trying to look busy and not wanting to overstep. She sees Fin raise his eyebrow at the Captain’s information.

“He is?”

“Yeah, I need to talk to him. I…” she softens her voice, “I don’t think he knows yet.”

Benson looks nervous about this man, Stabler, coming in and learning what she had been through.

“Well, you made sure of it.” She hears the Sergeant’s friendly accusation.

The Captain sighs in defeat but doesn’t reply to his comment.

“Can you…you know, until my call is finished…” she’s tentatively asking for something, but it’s vague, at least to her because Fin seems to understand right away.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn’t punch walls or anything.” Grace can’t help but make a surprised face when she hears him. Was this guy violent or something?

She sees Benson roll her eyes but give a thankful look at her friend, before retreating into her office and closing the door behind her.

“Need my help to control a potential brawler, Sarge?” Muncy asks him when they are alone.

He laughs, which makes her frown.

“Nah, he’s not that kind of brawler.” And doesn’t offer more than that.

It’s less than 5 minutes before Grace sees him walk in. She didn’t know what she expected, but it certainly wasn’t a well-suited, bald, built man with two coffees in one hand. His eyes go straight to the Captain’s office and seeing her on a call makes his steps falter a little bit.

“Hey man.” Fin rises from his chair to greet him. They shake hands like old friends and Muncy watches from the sideline, trying to be subtle about it.

“Hey Fin, nice to see you.”

“You too, it’s been a while since I heard from you.”

Stabler smiles and Muncy forgets the earlier assumption that this man could ever be violent.

“Yeah, well. Been busy.” His gaze finds the Captain’s office again.

“She won’t be long, had a call scheduled with McGrath.”

Stabler nods and puts the coffees down on an empty desk to remove his coat.

“What about you? Been busy at SVU lately?” he starts small conversation.

Muncy sees her Sergeant hesitate as they both understand Stabler doesn’t know anything about the BX9 fiasco of the last weeks. Did he live under a rock or something?!  

“You can say that.” Fin answers and something unspoken passes between the two men.

Benson puts the phone down loudly, as it is not uncommon after her talks with the Chief. Her door is closed but the sound resonates through the bullpen. As Stabler reaches for his coat and the coffees, the Sergeant steps in before the Captain arrives. He speaks softly, but Grace is still able to hear him.

“Listen. I don’t know where you guys stand. I’m glad you’re talking. But remember that she has been through enough without having to handle you, alright?”

Muncy sees Stabler stop his movements.

“Fin?” he asks, loaded with questions.

But Benson is opening the door now and Fin gets his last words out in a hurry.

“Oh, and for the record, she ordered me not to call you about this.” And sits back down.

Grace watches as Olivia opens the door of her office and Stabler turns completely towards her. In her peripheral vision, Muncy see the Captain freeze in the doorway and fix her gaze to the newcomer, waiting, bracing really, for his reaction. But her own eyes are fixed on Stabler. She sees his expression change as soon as he notices the Captain’s cheek. He squints slightly, questions all over his face. But mostly, she sees the rage rise as lava in a volcano about to erupt. His hands become fists and he doesn’t seem to breath for a long moment. Muncy is ready to jump on her feet if something breaks, but Fin seems too calm and so she doesn’t move.

“What the hell?” Stabler manages to growl after a full minute of silence.

“Elliot-“

“Who did this?” he cuts her, taking a few steps towards her.

To her credit, Benson doesn’t flinch. Instead, she steps on the side, signaling him to come into her office, which he does.

“Go home guys, it’s been a day.” The Captain orders them before closing the door and pulling the binds from her office.

There is no way Muncy is leaving her like this. She looks at Fin who has a similar expression on his face.

Chapter Text

Olivia is still pulling the blinds when Elliot’s questions start.

“Liv, what happened? Tell me who-“

“BX9 put a hit on me and Noah.” She’s going straight to the point, because there is no other way to get through this with him. She hears Elliot swear under his breath. “But we’re okay, Elliot. And the people responsible are behind bars.”

“When did this happen? Why-“

“Stop.” She implores in whispers.

Elliot seems to register her level of exhaustion, then, and takes a moment to gather his emotions.

“It’s over. I’m safe. Noah’s safe.” She repeats, standing in front of him.

Elliot’s eyes go over her face, examining what’s left of her injury and she lets him. He needs to see it and see how she is okay now. He doesn’t like not being able to voice his opinion in the matter, she knows, but he still refrains from it. His eyes say plenty though. He’s hurt she hasn’t called him. He feels guilty, he knows she didn’t because of his actions. He wants to reach out to her, so bad. After a moment of looking at each other, Elliot is calm and inhales a long breath.

“I would have been there.” He says quietly, regret and pain underlining his words.

“I know.” She acknowledges, not offering anything else.

She tries to lighten the atmosphere by changing the subject.

“Am I still allowed to have that coffee you promised?” she asks jokingly pointing at the beverage still in his hand, her apology for not calling him peaking through her words.

Stabler doesn’t smile much, but his expression is softer. He raises the product to her and lets her pick it up. She takes a sip and then walks to the couch, sitting and inviting him to do the same. Elliot doesn’t want to fight, even though he’s enraged by what happened to her. He sits besides her and takes a sip of his own coffee in silence.

“I had to send Noah away.” She shares, looking down at her hands holding the hot beverage.

Elliot picks up on her guilt.

“You had to do what you had to, Liv, to keep him safe and be able to work the case clear minded.” Olivia hums, of course he’s right, but still. “You’re a good mom.” He adds, because he suspects that’s what been bothering her the most about this.

Her eyes fill with tears at the compliment, but she still won’t look at him.

“What kind of mom puts her kid in danger over and over?” she tries to hold her tears as much as possible, before one slips away. Before Elliot can move though, she erases it with her index. He doesn’t comment on the over and over part.

“Noah’s a strong kid. Just like his mom. He understands the job is dangerous sometimes.”

“Yeah but it shouldn’t be dangerous *for him*.” She’s getting angry at herself now. “I might be in danger sometimes, but he should never!” she turns her face to him and Elliot breaks at her pained expression.

“Don’t do this to yourself, Liv.” His hand comes on her forearm in an effort of reassuring her. “You’re a good mom. A great mom. You kept him safe, you did what you had to do to protect your kid.”

Olivia shakes her head, as the recurring thought she’s been having since Fin drove Noah to the McAnn’s: he’d be better off with a safe family, in the suburbs, with a yard and a big house. She hates the thought, but lately it’s been in her mind more and more. Seeing Noah so happy with his brother. He found what she had wanted for him his whole life: a family. A few more tears rolled down her cheeks before she catches herself. This wasn’t what she had in mind when she asked Elliot to come meet her.

“Sorry, I’m just so tired.”

Standing up, she brushed away her tears and goes to put down the coffee on her desk. Elliot stands but stays near the couch.  

“Don’t worry about it.” His tone is concerned. He’s glad to be there for her, no matter what she needed from him.

“This isn’t why I’ve asked you to come.” She turns at her desk and looks up at him. “I need a favor.”

He’s surprised, because they haven’t talked much lately. But he’s glad she’s coming to him for help.

“Anything.”

She takes a breath before diving in.

“I need you to pick up Noah, and get him back safely to me.”

Elliot stops for a moment, thinking he’s hallucinated her request.

“He’s been staying with a family in Woodstock. Now that it’s safe to come home I need to go get him, but I still need to do this paperwork, and the drive is a few hours, and-“

“Liv.” He cuts her gently. “I’ll go. Give me the address and I’ll jump on the road.” He puts his coat on.

Olivia second guesses herself for a second.

“I know it’s a long drive, El-“

“Hey,” he steps in front of her, closer than she was prepared for. “It’s done.” His eyes are soft, grateful, confident.

Looking up at him, she sees the same protectiveness as 24 years ago. The same determination to keep her, now her son, safe. To guard them with his life. She sees his dedication, but also something else she hasn’t registered much since he came back. She knows he would do anything for her, for her son, because he cared so much. She lets herself see it, believe it, for once.

“I trust you.”

And the statement is bigger than just the words. She trusts him, again. She trusts him with her son’s life. She trusts him enough to let him in again. Elliot is so grateful, he smiles.

“I’ll get your son back to you, Olivia.”

He buttons up his coat and turns towards the exit, grabbing his unfinished coffee on the way. When he opens the door, he turns to her one last time. He looks like a man on a mission, a knight in shining armour. Olivia feels her stomach flutter again and she knows this is an important step for both of them. To move forward.

“We’ll call you from the car.” He promises and disappears.

Chapter Text

Muncy sits up straight again when Stabler walks out of the office. He seems in a better mood, and no loud sounds were heard during their conversation, so she guesses it went well. He looks focussed, but still stops at the Sergeant’s desk on his way out.

“Next time, Fin, I don’t care what she says, you call me.” He orders, even though Muncy’s pretty sure he doesn’t have the rank to do so.

“I’m in her corner now, Stabler.” Fin replies, defiantly, but he still has an understanding expression.

“You. Call. Me.” Stabler reinforces and stands there for a moment, staring down at his friend.

The Sergeant doesn’t reply then, and Stabler walks out determined.