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Love always dictated most of Edward's line of conduct.
Such a banal, mundane, nearly pathetic drive for someone who claims to be... an extraordinary man.
He came to Gotham of all places because this grim town is the city where his childhood hero resides. As a kid, scared little Eddie collected every single newspaper article, he watched every reporting, he listened to any conversation he heard at random starring the mysterious, inspiring vigilante who appeared one dark night in the main agglomeration of the State he lives in.
Eddie was ten years old when he ran away from his birthtown, a small, desolate place in the countryside to finally reach the location where his hero, his role model, the love of his life at the time haunts the sky. He was young, he was innocent, he was silly to the point he believed his imaginary friend, whom he talked to in his head for years, will notice him, like him, save him, scoop him up and take him under his wing. Maybe he could have become his Second Robin. His apprentice. His... everything...
This love, close to a child's dream towards a parent he idealizes or a hero he believes to be perfect, shattered in a million pieces when he was faced with the sordid, violent reality of life as a street kid alone in Gotham City.
Gotham is not a place for little boys to dream, not a place to love. It's a monster, and it devoured him whole.
The "Riddler" as he renamed himself for his debuts is none other than the love child of his at-the-time boss, Daniel Mockridge who hired him in his video game business, and thirteen-year-old game developer Ed Nashton. The pre-teen sincerely enjoyed working in Mockridge's company, at the beginning. Before it went out of hands, before his boss stole his creation, the Riddle of the Minotaur game and refused to share the benefits with a kid. Before Mockridge proposed a perverted version of a 'contract' to keep Eddie in his business regardless, before he accepted this repelling solution because he had simply no other option at disposal if he didn't want to be thrown back in the streets.
Nobody was supposed to get hurt. Nobody would have died. Ed simply wanted to scare Daniel in order to fight back for what belongs to him, aka the rights he earned over Riddle of the Minotaur.
Except that of course... Batman and Robin cut short his intimidation sequence, which he crafted for weeks inside the main rooms of the video games company. The vigilantes ruined everything. His once hero, beautiful in his cape and cowl, triggered the traps Eddie meticulously programmed, what ended up... with Mockridge making a nasty fall and breaking his right arm in the process.
For Edward, it finished with a drive to Arkham Asylum after a virulent dispute between the Bat who considered him "one of the crazies" given what he did tonight, and a young adult Robin who yelled at his mentor that they cannot, under any circumstances, send a child to the madhouse!
The original Dynamic Duo split merely a couple weeks after this. Tensions appeared in their team for a while already, but the birth of the Riddler, aka the youngest rogue at the time, had been one of the reasons Dick Grayson quit the fight by Bruce's side.
Before Jonathan Crane, it never occurred to Eddie (who chose the last name 'Nygma' to match his aesthetic when he was fifteen) that someone could love him back one day.
He was sixteen when he realized he fell for his mentor. Hard. The Scarecrow is a nice, interesting and intelligent company, he watches over him and drags him along both at his schemes and in his hideouts ever since a too energetic ginger kiddo joined the Rogues Gallery.
He was seventeen and a half when he confessed. He wasn't much older the first time they kissed, after Jon confirmed he developed feelings for him on his side too, despite being over twenty years older than him. Even though Eddie insisted, eager, they didn't rush things afterwards. Neither men were virgins to begin with, but Jonathan wanted to wait until his eighteenth birthday to take a step further in their relationship and make out together for the first time.
Relationship. A real, authentic relationship. Edward loved and was loved in return, he had friends within the Gallery and a boyfriend who cared for him almost as much as he cared for his toxin formulas and his experiments. He couldn't be happier.
It's when Jason Todd, the Second Robin, died, while Edward was twenty-one, that he plainly realized how much he loved that bird.
For sure, he enjoyed his company. That was no secret, Riddler and Robin hanged out at times, Jay stopped by at his place to play video games, have a snack, ask help for his homeworks and chat about everything and nothing. Their strange friendship didn't change anything to the fact Jaybird punched him and arrested him during his schemes, but... they got along. Sincerely, really got along.
For the first time in his life, Eddie had a... sibling. He discovered friendship with Diedre Vance and Nina Damfino with whom he plans robberies, he discovered genuine attachment with Harley, Selina, Oswald, Harvey a bit later... and love with Jonathan.
But Jason was his little brother. Only when he was gone did Ed understand how dear that boy was for him, how fond of him he had become.
Losing his brother whom he loved with every fiber of his being turned out to be the most painful, difficult and heartbreaking hardship he ever faced.
Crossing her blue gaze had been enough for Edward to fall for the girl... not in a romantic manner. There never had any ounce of ambiguity regarding the nature of their bond.
Edward Nygma didn't believe in soulmates until he met Stephanie Brown.
Or, maybe he thought about this phenomenon already but he never supposed he'd meet his own, and he always assumed it encompasses a strictly romantic affection. Well. Turned out he was wrong: he never loved anyone with as much force as he loved this little girl he met one day, when stopping by at her parents' place because he worked with her big dumbass of a father. Platonic soulmates, that must be the appropriate term.
Living at the Browns' house, washing away his own blood in their bathroom, letting Crystal stitch him up and clean the injuries he collected during failed plans... and at home, inherited from none other than Jonathan, turned out to be a major turning point in his life.
Stephie met him when he was sad, damaged and defeated after Robin's death, plus when Jon started becoming abusive and crossed the line between what he can allow himself to do and what he has no right to perform on someone he loves. When Diedre and Nina left the ship as well, they sort of abandoned him to start a career on their own, far away from Gotham.
He was lost, alone and broken.
She pulled him back together. She showed him what it truly means, to love someone.
Years later, when fifteen years old Stephanie got accidentally pregnant from an ex-boyfriend, Edward accepted her conditions. He did as he was told, he sealed this deal with her. After making sure she'll be helped and surrounded to handle her pregnancy, and either ways she visited him at Arkham four times a week, he launched the program, paid by Bruce Wayne, that shall allow him to return to the civilian world the official manner. With Bruce's engagement, he signed for a seven-months long procedure and earned the right to be hosted at Wayne Manor to fulfill the remaining ten months, with regular therapy appointments and a final trial that will declare him legally sane.
He reformed for her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"How are you feeling?"
"Wonderful," thirty-two-year-old Private Detective Edward jeered, he refrained a sigh when his Batman asked this anything but subtle question. "Never been better."
Bruce took a chair on the other side of the bed. Stephanie's daughter Claire, who turned six years old last month, fell asleep on her granddad / buddy / sort of guardian angel's knees, Eddie held her close. He doesn't want Claire to call him his grandfather, technically Steph herself always refers to him as 'Eddie' or 'Pumpkin' in place of 'dad' so... the little one lined up with this habit.
On this bed, at Wayne Manor, Batgirl was taking a well-deserved break, resting peacefully after a near-death experience.
"We didn't find them," Bruce notified his... oldest friend? non-official protégé? the boy who always believed in him no matter how many times Batman failed him? "Jason patrols another time around the block, he is so angry I don't think any thug will survive a meeting with him tonight. We're... looking, but they know how to cover their tracks."
"I guessed so," Eddie crossed the equally exhausted metallic blue gaze.
Neither the Bat nor him slept well these times, not since their children were threatened then attacked by... people they used to know.
"How is Damian?"
"Tough," Bruce smiled a bit. "I bet he'll wake up within a day or two at most. And Stephanie won't be long either."
"I know. I believe in her."
They both watched the peaceful expression of their daughter in everything but blood.
"I wouldn't feel anything if Esther, Timothy or Duela died," Edward whispered, his gaze suddenly glassy and unfocused. "But I would be devastated if something happened to Jonathan. Even though... I mean... I know Tim Drake and him planned this attack, I know they are the brains of their team. But..."
"It's normal," Bruce comforted him. "You never loved the younger ones of this unit, you never had time to create something with them and your own flesh and blood turned against you right after you encountered her just because she was 'disappointed by your reform' and wanted you to 'go back to your Riddler self'. You never bonded with her, Tim or Duela Dent. While you spent years being hopelessly devoted to Crane."
"... I wished I could deny it, but that'd be a lie."
They shared a tired but surprisingly soft glance.
Love.
Every time he thinks about this feeling, Edward sees it everywhere. He acknowledges it directed so many choices, so many decisions he took over the years. It still directs who he chooses to live with, who he chooses to protect... who he would save above whom.
Without any hesitation, he'd let his blood daughter Esther die if that meant saving his children of heart Stephanie, Jason and Claire. He'd let former allies burn behind him if that meant protecting Bruce, Cassandra, Damian, Barbara, Dick, Alfred, Harley, Selina, Diedre, Nina, Harvey, Vic Sage or Hal Jordan. He'd let heroes and villains alike go through Hell and back if that meant keeping his family safe.
Only remained Jonathan. He will never stop having feelings for him, but he would no longer choose him above those who proved to sincerely love him and became his true family.
Love always dictated most of Edward's line of conduct.
Such a banal, mundane, nearly pathetic drive for someone who claims to be... an extraordinary man.
And yet... while this fact used to bother his younger self, acknowledging it doesn't feel like a weakness or a dirty little secret anymore. By now, Edward Wayne is proud to claim he forged his entire line of conduct, his entire path and his bright evolution around his ability to love.