Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A brown paper cup gets placed on Bills table. The Beanies Logo is decorating the cup sleeve.

Someone pulls back the spare chair in Bills cubicle and sits down next to him.

“Hey.”

Bill frowns and takes his eyes off his computer screen to look at Ted Spankoffski.

Ted smiles at him and pushes the cup against his hand. “For you”, he says.

Bill ends up staring at him, for a little too long. Ted never brought him anything from Beanies. Ted doesn’t even like him, as far as he knows.

“What is this?”, he asks.

“An Iced Caramel Frappe”, Ted answers.

“No, I meant-” Bill doesn’t manage to finish the sentence, he’s so surprised. How would Ted even know what his favorite drink is?

Bill eyes the cup, suspicious. “Did you spit in it?”

“No. If you want to taste my spit, I’m sure we can find another way.” Ted winks at him, Bill grimaces.

“Nothing’s wrong with it, just take it, will you?”, Ted goes on.

“Okay”, Bill quietly gives in, “Thank you.” He reaches for the cup and pulls it towards himself. “What do you want then?”

“Do I need a reason? Maybe I just wanted to get you a drink.”

“Is it Charlotte? Paul told me you’re after her but I’m not helping. She’s married and-”

“I’m asking you out.”

Bill stops. “…What?”

“I’m asking, if you want to go out with me”, Ted repeats.

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I want to go out with you.”

Bill looks at the cup, then back at Ted. Is this another prank? But Ted looks so sincere. Besides, he wouldn’t joke about this. He’s an asshole but not like that.

Maybe he did try with Charlotte and she rejected him. He must have.

What does he even mean with ‘going out’? Actually going out? Bill can barely imagine it, not from Ted.

“I’m not going to sleep with you”, Bill notes, still confused.

“Okay, just dinner is fine.”

“You don’t want to…?”

“Fuck? I mean…”, he hesitates, then he shrugs and smiles and Bill ends up rolling his eyes and turning away.

“Ted…”

“Well, think about it, sweetheart.” He pats Bills shoulder. “The offer’s up.”

Then he leaves and Bill still sits there, alone with his iced caramel frappe.

Chapter Text

Bill kind of likes Ted.

It’s a secret, it has been since Bill started liking Ted, since Ted brought him an iced caramel frappe and asked him out.

Bill can’t tell anyone, especially not Ted.

It’s humiliating and he’s pretty sure that Ted would just mock him about it anyway, if he ever were to find out.

Ted always does that, making a mockery of things, making cracks at people and especially Bill. There’s nothing serious about him, really.

He’s terribly annoying and Bill spent quite a few years working at CCRP with a general aversion towards Ted. Bill never did anything about it, not really. He doesn’t enjoy being mean, so aside from the occasional sarcastic remark or an eyeroll, he tried his best to just avoid Ted.

There were few things Bill believed to know about Ted but of those he was always sure.

Ted isn’t a good person, was the first. He’s rude and he doesn’t shut up when he should and he sleeps with married people.  

That’s not okay, right? Sleeping with married people.

It’s not okay because it happened to Bill and it hurt, when his wife left him for someone else. Someone she had been seeing for a solid year before she decided to confess that to Bill.

Ted started sleeping with Charlotte a few months after he asked Bill out and as far as Bill knows, they still do it to this day. It’s been over a year but Bill still catches them being secretive, exchanging notes and coming out of the storage room disheveled.

Bill isn’t sure what’s worse about the situation, the fact that them being colleagues makes it terribly inappropriate or the fact that Charlotte is married to a cop who would probably not have a hard time making Ted disappear if he ever were to find out.

Bill doesn’t like Ted, he just likes the idea of Ted (or anyone, really) being interested.

He doesn’t see himself dating Ted, they wouldn’t fit and Bill knows it. Ted doesn’t do relationships and Bill doesn’t do whatever it is that Ted does. He knows he’d be horrible at the no strings attached thing that Ted usually has going on. He is way too sentimental, too easily attached and too much of a romantic, but the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that he would be down to try, for a few nights at least.

Then he sees Ted being sweet and caring to a stray cat and to his own embarrassment, he falls harder than he ever planned.

Chapter Text

Bill has seen the cat around CCRP quite often, he even tried to coax it closer for a few pets every now and then but the cat was too shy, always hiding under cars until Bill gave up.

Then, one day, Bill leaves work early.

He rounds the building to move past the dumpsters towards the CCRP parking lot when he sees Ted on his smoke break.

He is crouching on the asphalt. His cigarette is hanging between his teeth in the corner of his mouth and his hands are busy petting the stray cat.

Bill stops and stares until Ted looks up.

He gifts Bill a smile and says “Bye Bill, see you tomorrow”, while the cat is rubbing its head against Teds hand.

Bill just nods and leaves.

On the drive home that day, he tries his best not to think about it too much.

It’s not like it matters, Ted getting the cat to trust him when Bill didn’t.

Bill barely thinks about it, really. About how often Ted must have crouched there, talking to the cat until it finally came closer. How patient Ted must have been to do that.

Bill never saw Ted as a patient person.

Maybe he’s only patient about things that matter to him, Bill figured.

But then again, if that’s the case and one of the few things that matter to Ted is an old stray cat, then that was a little too adorable for Bills mind to just let it slide.

A few weeks later, Bill sees the cat again.

Mr. Davidson wants Teds weekly reports and because Bill just happens to walk past his office at the wrong time, Mr. Davidson ends up asking Bill to tell Ted to bring them to him.

Bill knocks, before he opens the door to Teds office.

It’s cold inside because the window is open.

Ted is sitting on the floor right next to the stray cat and a big coffee mug filled with cat food.

“Close the door”, Ted says, and Bill does.

“You can’t tell anyone about her”, Ted then adds, looking almost scared. Bill has never seen Ted look scared.

Ted blushes. “I asked Mr. Davidson and he said no but she is all alone out there and where else is she supposed to get food, huh? It’s in the middle of winter.” His tone is almost accusatory. As if Bill is on the verge of telling everyone at CCRP that there’s a cat in Teds office. As if Bill would do that.

“Did you name her?”, he asks.

“I just call her Cat.”

“Mh. Are you sure it’s a girl?”

“Why not?”

“I mean… it’s an orange tabby, and female ones are pretty rare.”

“Cat is a gender-neutral name.”

“I’m not sure if Cat really is a name.”

Ted shrugs.

“How did she get in here?”, Bill goes on asking, when he remembers that they’re on the third floor. Bill would have seen it if the cat had come up with the elevator.

“Oh, I had this bucket and I tied a rope around it and any time she wants to come in she meows outside and I let down the bucket and- Bill this needs to be our secret.”

Our secret. Those two words run on repeat in Bills brain like a broken record.

“Okay”, he finally agrees, because he doesn’t really know what else to say.

“Just keep your mouth shut, yeah?”

Bill nods, his eyes still on the cat, sitting there in Teds office and eating food that Ted must have bought and sneaked in just for her.

“Mr. Davidson wants your weekly reports”, he finally says, when he remembers why he was there in the first place.

Ted nods. “Okay, tell him I’ll bring them in ten minutes or so.”

“Tell him yourself, I’m not your assistant.”

Ted rolls his eyes but nods. “Close the door on your way out. Please.”

Bill nods and leaves.

He carefully closes the door behind himself and when he’s back at his desk, he thinks about what it would feel like to kiss Ted for the first time ever.

Ted wears too much gel in his hair and his moustache is kind of hideous and still, there Bill is, imagining how the short thick hair would scrape against his upper lip and tickle his nose if he ever were to kiss Ted. How he’d let his hands sink into Teds greasy hair, run his fingertips against Teds scalp.

It will pass, he tells himself. For sure, he will get over it once he sees Ted and Charlotte leave the storage closet again, surely, he will feel annoyed and he’ll be back to his old self.

But when he actually does walk in on Ted and Charlotte in the storage closet, all he feels is jealously.

Chapter Text

Ted asking Bill out caught him off-guard because Ted never came off as someone who goes on dates, but the more Bill thinks about it, the more he wants Ted to be someone who goes on dates. To be more specific, Bill wants Ted to be someone who goes on dates with him.

Bill knows that Ted meant going out as in going to his place and having sex, but he can still dream, can’t he?

His feelings don’t pass like he thought they would, but they get worse every day.  

Ted is a really touchy person. Not in a way that he goes too far with it, it’s mostly small things. Touches that Bill would barely even notice, if they came from anyone else.

Teds shoulder brushing Bills when he passes him in the breakroom or Ted hovering a bit too close next to Bill while they wait for the coffee pot to do its thing. Teds hands patting Bills shoulder in the mornings, his way of saying hello.

Teds breath in Bills neck whenever his printer malfunctions and he has to go ask Ted to help him fix it. The way Ted stands behind him and leans over Bills shoulder as they go over the printer settings on his computer.

Bill actually got his printer to malfunction on purpose once, just so Ted would come and stand close again.

“You sent it to Paul’s printer again”, Ted noted, after they inspected Bills printer together for a while.

“Silly me”, Bill muttered, once Teds nearness knocked the air out of his lungs again.

Ted smells like cologne and coffee and on bad days like booze.

Bill knows it’s not his place to judge or worry but it’s not exactly a secret that Ted drinks at work. Ted doesn’t hide it when he pulls his flask out in the breakroom and pours whatever he carries with himself every day into his freshly brewed coffee.

Bill is pretty sure Mr. Davidson knows about it too and he doesn’t care, so why should Bill say anything, right? He doesn’t want to get Ted into trouble anyway, he just hopes Ted’s alright, mostly.

He tried to stop liking Ted, he really did.

He started avoiding Ted at work and he put himself out there. He even let Alice talk him into downloading tinder, but after one rather uncomfortable date with a woman from Clivesdale, he immediately deleted it again.

Eventually, Bill decided that liking Ted is okay, as long as no one ever finds out about it.

Chapter Text

Bill didn’t want to go to the CCRP New Years party. He tried to talk himself out of it, as he does every year, but this year Charlotte managed to talk him into coming somehow.

She knew he would just have been sitting at home alone so she kept pestering him until he begrudgingly agreed.

The thing is, Bill would have loved to sit at home alone. New Years Eve isn’t exactly the kind of event that Bill deems worthy celebrating. It’s too loud and too cold and too late at night. He usually heads to bed at around ten and staying up until one or two just isn’t worth it to him.

At eleven pm Bill really starts to regret that he came. Everybody is drunk, celebrating in the break room and waiting for the clock to hit midnight.

Shortly before midnight, he decides to sneak out. It’s always so awkward, celebrating the clock hitting midnight, he really doesn’t want to be there for it.

No one will notice him leaving, probably. No one does notice, when he grabs his jacket and leaves the room.

It’s empty on the corridor, empty in the elevator.

Bill sighs in relief, as soon as the elevator doors closed behind him.

He has to walk home, decided on that earlier that day, when he walked to the office instead of driving. It’s a forty-minute walk, and he knew he probably wouldn’t manage to avoid drinking a few glasses of wine. Not that he wanted to avoid it in the first place.

The elevator doors open and Bill steps out. He makes his way to the front door and then he’s outside, in the cold night.

He rounds the building to get to the alley that will lead him home, when he hears two voices arguing.

“Because he’s a scumbag, Char! There’s nothing to save there, when will you get that? You could leave him and-”

“I’m not leaving Sam for you.”

Bill doesn’t eavesdrop. Or he doesn’t mean to, it’s easier said than done. For a moment he considers going the other way around and taking the long route home, but it’s been silent since Charlotte spoke.

Bill slowly sets his feet into motion, then Ted speaks again.

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“Well, you keep-”

“I just think you should leave him. For yourself. And if you wanted, I’d be there for you, but-”

“No.”

Bill stops. Maybe he will take the long route home after all.

“What did he say to you?”, he hears Ted ask.

Bill shouldn’t eavesdrop. He really shouldn’t. It’s so not okay to do that. Not to his co-workers, not to anyone, not to intimate conversations like that.

Bill doesn’t leave.

“He said he loves me”, Charlotte answers.

Ted scoffs.

“Well, you may not believe him but I do. And I want to make things work with him”, she quickly keeps going.

“Okay, good luck with that.”

“Don’t be like that now, Ted.”

“Just don’t come back to me, when he goes back to that young girl from Beanies.”

“He won’t. He said he ended things with her.”

“And you believe that?”

Charlotte sighs. “I want to.”

“Hmh. Okay.”

“I’m sorry, Ted. I have to go now.”

Footsteps come towards Bill and he panics. The only thing he can think of is to walk towards it, pretend like he just arrived and heard nothing.

It works somehow. He almost runs into Charlotte, when he rounds the corner.

“Oh, hey Charlotte”, he blurts out.

“You’re leaving?”

Bill nods. “Alice called. She needs me to pick her up from that party”, he lies.

It‘s true that Alice is on a New Years party. He doesn’t need to pick her up though.

She established rather early that yes, Deb will be there and no, nothing will happen and they’re not alone and no one will be smoking. They will just watch a few movies and eat pizza and it’s more of a sleepover than a party anyway. Eventually, Bill decided to let her go there. He even drove her there, earlier that evening.

Their relationship is strained enough and his therapist recommended him to give her some air, allow things every now and then. Ever since she moved in with him, he’s been working on himself. He doesn’t want to lose her. He’s the cool dad now, he decided. He even watched a horror movie with her once. She’s been getting into those.

“Oh. Well, see you on Monday then”, Charlotte answers.

Bill nods. “See you.”

She moves past him, back inside.

And he’s left standing there, alone with Ted. Ted who is fumbling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

“Did you hear all that?”, he asks.

“What?”

Ted sticks a cigarette between his teeth and fumbles the little packet back into the pocket of his jacket. “You heard it.”

“No”, Bill lies.

Ted reaches for the cigarette, and holds it in his hand like a pen, while he answers. “Can you just not tell anyone?”

“Who would I tell?”

“I don’t know.”

“Everybody knows about you two anyway.”

“What?”

“You weren‘t exactly hiding it.”

“We were hiding it.”

“Hm.”

“I mean, not like it matters anymore now. It’s over.”

Bill shrugs lightly. 

Ted sticks the cigarette back between his teeth and fishes a lighter out of his other pocket.

He brings it up to his cigarette and tries flicking it on a few times. It doesn’t work. It barely even flicks on and when it does, the wind immediately blows it out before it can reach Teds cigarette.

Bill watches for a moment, watches Ted curse quietly, watches the way his hands are shaking, then he decides to come for help.

He takes the lighter from Ted who looks up in confusion.

Bill shields the lighter with his hand and brings it up to Teds cigarette. Teds face lights up in a dancing, soft orange glow, when the lighter flashes on under Bills thumb.

Ted leans in a bit more, and Bill can smell the booze on him, can see the sweat glisten on Teds face. He doesn’t look alright, not really.

Ted looks up from his cigarette, already lit now, and his eyes meet Bills. Bill slowly relaxes his thumb again, letting the light die.

“Thank you”, Ted whispers.

“Anytime”, Bill whispers back, before realizing that that’s probably a weird thing to say. Ted doesn’t seem to notice. He takes a drag now, and then blows it to his side, away from Bill.

Bill hands the lighter back to Ted, who shoves it into his pocket, and takes a step back.

“Are you alright?”, Bill asks.

Ted makes a sound between a laugh and a scoff. That’s probably a no.

“You really liked her?”, Bill asks.

“No. I don’t know”, Ted says, “I mean, obviously I like her, she’s Charlotte. I’m not in love with her, not really. I liked the idea, I think.”

Bill hesitates. He has never witnessed Ted like this before. Honest and on the verge of looking heartbroken. Ted probably wouldn’t be saying any of this if he wasn’t this drunk.

“The idea?”, Bill asks.

“Not being alone, all that. You know.”

Bill nods calmly, like Teds words didn't surprise him. They did though. Somehow Bill never considered Ted to be lonely. And suddenly a lot about Ted begins to make sense.

“It’s what you get”, Ted goes on. He takes another drag.

Smoking shouldn’t look hot. Getting lung cancer, all that. Ted smoking shouldn’t do to Bill what it’s doing in that moment.

“Get for what?”, Bill asks.

“I've been an asshole.”

“You say that like you'll stop being one now.”

Ted smiles, amused. "Wouldn't that be nice?" His eyes come to a rest on Bill and Bill turns his head to look at the parking lot.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I asked you out", Ted goes on.

“What?”

“All those months ago. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable like this.”

“You didn’t.”

“Sure?”

Bill nods. “You took me by surprise, yes, but… it was fine.”

Ted smiles lightly. “It was fine?”

“Yes. Sorry for never giving you an answer.”

“You did answer, didn’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Not answering. That’s an answer.”

“I suppose. You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? You’re allowed to say no.”

“Yes, still.”

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because you thought I’m mad at you for not going out with me?”

“No!"

“But you did avoid me?”

Bill hesitates. He didn’t think Ted noticed. He thought he was being subtle about it.

Ted smiles. “It’s okay, Bill.”

"I didn't avoid you", Bill lies.

“You're allowed to dislike me, you know that?”

“I don't dislike you.” Bills head is spinning. What is he supposed to say? He should leave, before he accidentally confesses.

“What then? Are you secretly in love with me?” He chuckles while he says it and unfortunately, he’s gorgeous while doing that. He’s gorgeous and he’s drunk and his eyes look so tired and curious and Bill wants to kiss him. Bill needs to kiss him.

Bill opens his mouth to say something, anything to defend himself, but the words get stuck in his throat when he finally processes what Ted just said to him.

He is secretly in love with Ted, is all. Love is a big word, but somehow, it doesn’t feel wrong when Bill thinks about it like that. Having a crush sounds so young. Bill isn’t young anymore, not that young. He’s an adult and a father. He has an electric toothbrush and expensive bedsheets, he doesn’t have crushes. He likes Ted, he always told himself, but like is such a small word for the turmoil in Bills head whenever Ted is near.

“Oh.”

Bill looks up and sees the realization in Teds eyes.

Ted lets his cigarette sink.

Bill wants to run away.

A bright smile forms on Teds lips. “Me? Really?”

He’s going to laugh at him, isn’t he? He’s already laughing. Bill can’t tell whether Ted looks delighted or amused but he guesses it’s the latter. 

“No”, Bill lies half-heartedly, knowing it’s too late. Ted knows.

Ted giggles. He really giggles. His nose scrunches up and his moustache warps into a bright smile along with his mouth.

"Can we just forget it?”, Bill asks.

Ted doesn't listen, or at least he doesn't react. “Bill Woodward secretly likes me”, he says, almost fondly.

“Please, let's just leave it. This is embarrassing enough.”

“Leave it? No, this is great!”

“Ted-”

“How long?”

“How… I don’t know.”

“And you never asked me out.”

“Can we please just forget this?”

“No, I don’t want to forget this.”

“Ted, please.”

The jerky smile slowly leaves Teds lips. He nods. “Okay, whatever you want.”

“Okay.” Bill heaves a relieved sigh.

“I’m not going to pressure you into anything, I just… I’m down for anything.” 

“Okay.”

“So just hit me up, if you ever… want to do that.”

“I should go home now.”

“To pick up Alice?”

Bill almost forgot about his lie. He nods. “Yes.”

“She didn’t call, did she?”

“What do you mean?”

“You just want to go home.”

“I wouldn’t make that up.”

Ted smiles. “If she really had called, you wouldn’t have spent so long talking to me. You never keep her waiting.”

Bill doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s true. If Alice had called, he’d be running to get her right now.

It’s almost annoying that Ted knows that. Attractive too. Annoyingly attractive.

The smirk on his lips makes Bill want to kiss him even more. 

The sound of fireworks exploding drags him out of his thoughts.

He turns to see the colorful lights in the sky. He checks his watch, to see that the clock hit midnight.

When he turns back to Ted, Ted is still watching him. He barely reacts, sunken in thoughts.

“If I asked you out again, would you say yes this time?”, Ted asks.

Bill shrugs lightly. “I don’t know.”

Ted’s eyes drop to his mouth. Bills heart skips a beat.

“If I asked for a midnight kiss…”, Ted starts. His words trail off.

He takes a step towards Bill and Bill places his hand on Teds chest, to stop him. Because that’s what he wants, stop Ted from kissing him, right?

He doesn’t want to kiss Ted and he’s not going to.

He gently nudges Ted away, pushes him back against the wall behind him. At the same time his fingers sink into the hard fabric of Teds shirt, and he ends up stumbling along, when he can’t bring himself to let go.

Ted lands against the wall and Bill lands in his arms. They’re kissing before Bill even processed his sudden urge to do exactly that.

Ted smiles against his lips and a part of Bill thinks “what an asshole” while every other part finds it a little too endearing.

A car drives past them and Bill pulls away, suddenly brought back to earth by the noise.

“I should go home”, he fumbles out.

Ted has that bemused smile on his lips again and he’s still leaning against the wall like Bill pushed him into it so hard that he can’t get up on his own anymore. Bill knows for a fact that he didn’t do such thing though, and the kiss can’t have been that good, not for Ted at least.

“Okay”, Ted says, “let’s go.”

“What?”

“Let me walk you home.”

“And then what?”

“Just walk you home. Then you go inside and I go home.”

Bill raises an eyebrow. “Sure?”

Ted nods. “Can I?”

“It’s forty minutes and you live the other way.”

“That’s okay.”

Bill shakes his head. “Good night, Ted.”

“Call if you need anything.”

Bill smiles and nods. “Bye, Ted.”

“Bye, Bill”, he hears Ted whisper, while he turns and leaves.

Chapter Text

When Bill arrives at work on the monday after New Year’s Eve, there’s an iced caramel frappe waiting on his desk for him.

He searches the room for Ted until he finds him standing at Charlottes desk, talking to her. Ted looks up, like he noticed Bill staring and he smiles and winks.

He keeps doing it, for the rest of the week. He doesn’t buy Bill a drink from Beanies every day, but sometimes he brings him a mug of fresh coffee from the break room, sometimes a cup of tea. He never says anything, just places it wordlessly on his table like they’re married and living together, like it’s the most normal thing to do.

At some point Paul asks Bill if Ted lost some kind of bet and Bill just nods because he doesn’t know how to explain to Paul that they kissed and it’s probably only a matter of time until they do it again.

He doesn’t know what to do, not really. The only thing he can think of doing about it, is dragging Ted into the storage closet so he can kiss him senseless.

But he didn’t find the courage to do that yet.

So he just accepts coffee after coffee, gifting Ted smiles and quiet “thank you”s, while his heart beats too fast and his hands get sweaty like he’s thirteen getting seated next to his first crush again.

The next weekend, Alice is at her mom’s place and Bill finds himself working late, no longer motivated by the need to finish up early so he can go home and spend his evening with her, watching a movie or helping her with her homework.

After sitting and staring at his computer for half an hour, just sunken in thought without working, he decides to go home after all. Maybe he can watch a movie by himself or go to bed early. It will be fun, he tries to convince himself, as he packs up his stuff.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out to find a text from Alice.

‘made it to clivesdale in one piece, thank you for the car again <3 I love you’, it says, and attached to it is a picture. A photo of her sitting in his car, smiling into the camera.

He lent her the car for the weekend. Most of the buses were cancelled or delayed because of all the snow and he wanted to make sure she doesn’t have to wait in the cold for hours. She had to promise him that she would drive slowly and that she will text him once she arrives.

Bill smiles and quickly texts her back, wishing her a nice weekend and telling her he misses her at home already.

A door clicks shut behind him and he turns to see that Ted came out of his office. He’s already wearing his jacket and carrying his bag, about to leave.

“You’re still here?”, Bill hears himself ask.

Ted smiles. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Bill shrugs lightly.

“Alice is at her mom’s place this weekend.”

“And now it’s lonely at home?”

Ted comes closer and rests his arms on top of the half-wall of Bills cubicle.

“I suppose.”

“Do you want me to change that for you?”

Bill does. He shakes his head and raises an eyebrow. “Wow.”

“Hm, worth a shot.”

Ted watches while Bill gets up to pack his things and steps aside after Bill pulled on his jacket and turns to make his way out of the cubicle.

“Thank you”, Bill says, as they walk to the elevator together, “for the coffee and all that this week. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” 

Bill presses the button to call the elevator. His heart is beating in his throat.

“Thank you”, he says again.

“Any time”, Ted answers.

The elevator doors ping open. Bill steps inside and Ted follows.

“Paul actually asked me about it, you know?”, Bill says.

Ted laughs. “Yes?”

“He asked if you lost a bet.”

“And you said yes?”

“I didn’t know what else I was supposed to say. It was a lot of coffee.”

“Too much coffee?”

“There’s no such thing.”

The elevator doors open again and they step out. Ted opens the front door of the building for Bill and Bill steps into the cold evening air.

He turns to Ted. “See you on Monday?”, he asks.

“Can I walk you to your car?”, Ted asks at the same time.

Bill shakes his head. “I walked here today. Alice has the car.”

“Oh.”

“But thank you.”

“Can I walk you home then?”

“What?”

“Can I walk with you?”

“Home?”

“Just to your front door.”

“Just the front door?” Bill can’t help but smile.

Ted nods. “Just the front door.”

“You really don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

Bill feels warm, fuzzy. For a moment, he’s on the verge of kissing Ted. He only catches himself in the last moment, taking a step back instead, just as a precaution.

This is new, Ted being like this. Ted has been like this all week and Bill doesn’t know how to handle it. Maybe Ted is just horny and doing everything to get what he wants from Bill, but Bill would lie if he said he doesn’t enjoy it. It’s definitely working. He wants Ted so bad by now.

Bill nods into the direction of his apartment building. “Come”, he says, before he starts walking.  

Ted follows immediately, taking his place right next to Bill, close enough for their hands to bump into each other a few times. It’s probably an accident, but Bill hopes it isn‘t.

“Have you seen the cat recently?”, Bill asks when they pass the dumpsters by the parking lot. He’s been meaning to ask Ted. He hasn’t seen the cat in weeks and he’s actually getting worried.

“The cat?”

“The stray cat that used to live here.”

“Oh. … yes. He kind of moved in with me.”

“What?”

“He just got into my car. So I took him home, took him to the vet. Turns out he’s a male cat, you were right.”

“You just took him home?” Oh god.

“It was cold, I was scared he’d freeze to death or something.”

“Okay.” Bill can’t believe he’s going to have to kiss Ted again.

“Pete loves him, so now I have to keep him forever.”

Bill smiles. He’s going to kiss Ted good night once they made it to his door.

He does, in the end.

He kisses Ted, after they stopped in front of the building.

After he said: “This is me”, and awkwardly pointed at it. After Ted said: “Okay”, and: “Then I’ll see you on Monday?”

After all that, Bill nods and makes a step towards Ted. Teds eyes drop to Bills lips and Bill takes that as a sign that he’s not the only one who wants to do it.

He leans into the kiss and reaches for Teds jacket to hold him close when Ted reciprocates it.

Ted is smiling when Bill pulls away again.

“Is this your thing?”, Bill asks.

“I don’t have a thing.”

“So, you didn’t walk me because you were hoping for more?”

“I said I’d just walk to your front door with you, do you remember? No further.”

“Stop saying that like you actually meant it.”

“If you want me to come inside now, that’s not my fault.”

“Feels like your fault.”

“So you want me to come inside?”

“No”, Bill lies.

“Okay, then good night and I’ll see you on Monday.”

“You really didn’t walk me because you actually wanted to see more than my front door?”

“I walked you because I wanted to walk you, sweetheart.”

Bill hates how much his heart melts at the pet name. Ted really is unbelievable. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Because I didn’t ask you to walk me here, I don’t…”

“You don’t owe me anything, yes.”

“Okay”, Bill says. He lets go of Ted and takes a step towards the building. He’s not asking him inside. “Well, thank you for walking me. Good night.”

Ted smiles. “Good night.” He turns to go and Bill slowly turns towards the big door. He’s not asking Ted inside.

The thing is, he really does want Ted to come inside. He really wants to kiss him some more and do more than kissing, if Ted is down.

“Wait”, he says, while he turns back around.

Ted stops, already a few feet down the sidewalk.

He turns back to Bill, a questioning look on his face.

“Come”, Bill just says.

Ted smiles, before his feet set into motion and he makes his way back to Bill.

They kiss, once Ted reaches Bill. Bill takes Ted by the collar and gently pushes him against the wall next to the door.

This kiss is slower. Not as spontaneous. Not as desperate. But it still feels like a tornado of feelings, in Bills chest.

Bill pulls away from the kiss and smiles at Ted chasing his lips for a moment.

“Do you want to come inside?”, he asks.

Ted nods, even before Bill finished the sentence. A smile forms on his mouth.

He’s leaning against the wall, already looking disheveled, even though all they did was kiss. “Yes”, he says, “I’d love that.”

They kiss again, before Bill finally manages to focus on unlocking the door. Ted stays leaned against the wall while Bill does. Bill ends up taking his hand, to lead him inside.

They make their way up the stairs to Bills apartment.

Bill unlocks the door and opens it for Ted to go in first, before he follows him inside.

He carefully closes the door behind them, clicking it shut, then he hangs the keys on their hook on the wall.

He looks at Ted waiting there in the corridor.

“Can I offer you anything?”, he asks, ignoring what they’re both thinking, ignoring why Ted came in and what they’re about to do. “Like… a glass of water? Or anything.”

Ted shakes his head. “Thank you”, he says.

Then it’s quiet.

Bill knows exactly what happens next, he’s just completely overwhelmed as to how to get there.

‘Do you want to go to the bedroom?’, he thinks. The words are laying on the tip of his tongue when he decides that no, that’s a weird thing to ask.

He turns to Ted, to ask something else, anything that will stop them from standing awkwardly in the corridor.

Ted just kisses him. That works.

Now they’re still standing in the corridor, but they’re kissing, so it’s a lot less awkward.

“So why did you want me to come in?”, Ted asks against Bills lips.

“I have a feeling you know why.”

“Apartment tour?”, Ted jokes.

“Yes.”

“Lead the way.”

So Bill does, leading Ted towards the bedroom through the corridor. “Bathroom, Alice’s room, kitchen, living room”, he says, pointing at doors while Ted makes noises of interest and approval.

They arrive in the bedroom and Bill ends up pointing at the bed. “Bedroom”, he finishes the tour.

Ted chuckles. “Cool.”

Bill takes a nervous breath.

“I’m going to kiss you now”, Ted announces.

Bill nods. “Please”, he whispers, so Ted kisses him.

A part of Bill is nervous.

A part of him is scared that Ted will leave afterwards, move on to someone else. A part of him is sure that Ted will do that, but that doesn’t make him pull away. He wants this. Kissing Ted feels too nice to stop now. Bill is just going to have to be okay with Ted leaving after.

Bill missed it, being close like this to someone.

“Are you sure you want this?”, Ted asks.

Bill nods.

“Because we don’t have to. I don’t want you to do this because you feel like you have to, now that you invited me in.”

“Ted, I want this.”

“Okay.”

“You?”

“Fuck, yes.”

“Okay.”

They kiss again, then Bill pulls away. “It’s not going to be weird at work after this, is it?” Ted chases the kiss before settling for Bills neck when he can’t catch them.

“Let’s not think about work right now.”

“Ted”, Bill whispers. His fingers curl into Teds hair while Teds lips on his neck make his head spin. He pulls him off himself and Ted nods.

“It won’t be weird”, he promises, finally looking at Bill now, “We won’t make it weird.” 

Bill nods. “Okay.”

He pulls Ted close again.

“Can you take it off?”, he whispers against Teds lips, while he fumbles with the buttons of Teds shirt.

“What?”, Ted asks, though clearly teasing, because his hands are already busy with his tie.

“All of it”, Bill answers and in the darkness of the room, he can see Ted smirk.

Shortly afterwards, Teds tie falls to the floor, then his shirt follows.

They fumble with each other’s belts before deciding to part in order to finish undressing on their own. 

Bill gets out of his pants and his socks, while Ted strips down to his underwear.

They kiss again, stumbling when Bill tries to lead Ted towards the bed without breaking the kiss.

He nudges Ted onto the bed, who reaches for his tie and pulls him close, pulls him into his arms, before he takes the tie off Bill.

He tosses it on the floor, then he grabs Bills shoulder and they roll over.

Bill finds himself on his back with Ted on top of him.

Ted who is kissing him and grinding against him. Ted who is unbuttoning his shirt for him. He pushes it aside, not fully taking it off, not yet, as his hands start to explore, roaming over Bills chest and his sides.

Bill didn‘t turn on the light in the bedroom and to his relief, Ted either didn’t bother or he forgot.

Bill is nervous about Ted seeing him naked.

He‘s not exactly self-conscious, but he’s also not young anymore.

He knows aging is fine, he knows it’s normal that bodies change over the years. Gathering weight, shedding muscle, it’s fine. He knows he’s probably the only one who notices the changes anyway. He’s okay with it, he really is.

He’s just nervous that Ted won’t like it, that he expected more somehow.

Ted is younger, Bill knows that. Middle thirty, probably, with joints that don’t crack every time he gets up.

Bill hit forty two years ago and it hit him harder than he thought it would.

“Do you have a light?”, Ted asks in that moment.

“What?”

Ted is already fumbling around with the lamp on Bills nightstand table.

“Why?”, Bill keeps going.

“I’m about to sleep with the hottest man alive, Bill. I wanna see him.”

The light flashes on, not exactly bright but bright enough to make Bill nervous.

Ted is staring at him and Bills heart is pounding so heavy and fast. A smile forms on Teds lips. “Fuck, look at you”, he whispers.

Bill opens his mouth to say something but Ted is already back to kissing him. He pulls him close, almost a little desperate now. His lips descend to Bills chest, placing kisses and sucking on his skin. Bill bites back a moan.

“God, you’re hot. I can’t believe you were going to keep the lights off on this.” Ted’s hands are on his chest, his side, his belly, feeling him up. He groans quietly into Bills neck.

“I wasn't-”, Bill starts to defend himself. Ted gently bites at a spot on his neck and Bill completely forgets what he was going to say, moaning quietly instead.

Bill missed this. Being admired like this, wanted like this.

His ex-wife used to call him hot, when they were still young and in love. Hot and beautiful and even pretty, sometimes.

He never realised how much he missed it.

Aside from him being lonely, aside from him longing for someone to talk to, someone to wake up next to, someone to cook with. He missed being admired. He missed having someone look at him the way Ted is looking now.

Ted starts to tug on his shirt and Bill sits up so Ted can pull it off his arms, which he does, almost a little impatiently.

Bill sinks back into the pillow, while Ted stays sitting up, taking a moment to let his hands and eyes wander. He bites down on his lip, smiles lightly, while he takes in the sight underneath him.

Bill enjoys having the light on. Aside from the way Ted is looking at him, he can actually see Ted now too. Pale skin bathed in the soft glow of the night lamp. From the hair on his chest to his relaxed belly, to his arms and to his thighs, straddling Bills hips, he’s pretty.

Bill pulls Ted back down, so he can reach his neck with his lips. His hands find Teds thighs and he pulls him against himself, rolling his hips. Ted moans quietly, his head coming to a rest against Bills while he tries to steady himself with his hands on Bills shoulder and his side.

After a few minutes of touching and kissing and grinding, Ted pulls away.

“Do you have lube?”, he whispers against Bills lips, “And condoms?”

Bill nods, before he manages to find his voice again, too turned on to think at this point.

“Lube, yes. Condoms I’m not sure, they can expire, right?”

“I have condoms.”

Bill raises an eyebrow.

“Just playing it safe”, Ted defends himself while he gets up, “You never know what might happen.”

He collects his shirt from the floor and proceeds to fumble with the button on the chest pocket. Bill props himself up on his elbows and watches, mostly to take in the sight of Ted standing half-naked in his bedroom, illuminated by the glow from the nightstand table lamp and the street lights outside.

A part of Bill wants to take a picture. He’s not going to but he hopes he can keep it in his memories for a while at least.

Ted climbs back onto the bed and drops the condoms on the mattress next to Bill. Not one, two. Bill smiles. He’s not sure how fit Ted thinks he is. He decides to keep to himself that sometimes he gets side stitches when he climbs the stairs to his apartment too fast.

“Lube?”, Ted asks.

Bill nods and leans on his side as he reaches for the nightstand table drawer to grab the little plastic bottle.

"Wait, I've got it", Ted says, before he opens the drawer, steadying himself on his hand. For a moment Bill wants to pull him back, stop him before he can see what else is in there.

Being lonely and horny is fine, most people are, but he’s still embarrassed when Ted looks back at him after he opened the drawer.

Teds jaw drops and his eyes darken.

“Don’t”, Bill whispers. 

Ted smirks. He picks the lube out of the drawer and pushes it shut again. 

“You’re so hot”, he says, out of breath and audibly turned on. 

“Just come here.” 

“I was going to suggest you fuck me but now I’m not sure anymore.” 

The heat in Bills belly grows at the thought. He groans while Ted kisses him and sneaks his hand down into his underwear.

“Why not both? We have all night”, Bill says. Ted did bring two condoms after all. 

He’s not sure if he’s going to regret having said that. He’s not the youngest anymore, is all, but they can try, see how long it takes until he runs out of energy.

Ted seems to be into it, at least. Bill can feel him, pressing hard against his thigh.

He reaches for Teds waist and pushes him off to turn them over.

Eventually, all their clothes are discarded to the floor and Bill is hovering above Ted, kissing him while he tries to stop the time. He just wants to stay there for a while. Stay in the moment. Because once it’s over, Ted will leave and move on, won’t he? 

Ted doesn’t do relationships and Bill doesn’t do what Ted does. Or maybe he does but just for one night. He’s bad at not bringing romantic feelings into stuff, when it’s most of what his heart longs for all the time. Especially with Ted. He wants him in his life like that so bad.

Maybe Bill could get used to doing what Ted does, if it means he can keep being close to him like this. 

God, Bill is so lonely. He’s so lonely, he doesn’t know how to act. 

He pulls away from the kiss and opens his eyes to see Ted’s closed eyes, his open mouth and red cheeks.

He kisses his temple, his eyebrow, his forehead, then he rests his head against his shoulder as he sinks his lips against his bare skin.

Ted pulls him closer and moves his hips against Bills, quietly gasping his name, impatient.

Bill can’t keep him waiting forever. Just because he’s getting sentimental. 

He nods lightly and kisses Ted again, before he reaches for one of the condoms. 

Ted opens his eyes, watches him, while Bill opens the little package. 

“You alright?”, Ted whispers. 

Bill nods and swallows down the declaration of love screaming and pounding loudly in his chest.

Maybe it’s just the lust, talking from his groin. He kisses Ted again, before he reaches for the lube and clicks open the plastic cap. 

He tries his best to memorize it. The view of Ted underneath him. All red cheeks and dark eyes, almost hidden behind eyelids falling shut. The hint of a smile on his parted lips, as quiet moans escape his throat. Bill memorizes how Ted blushes and pulls him into a kiss, when Bill tells him he‘s pretty. He memorizes the way Ted buries his face in his shoulder and his hot breath against Bills skin. He memorizes the feeling of Teds hands on his body, roaming over his chest and up and down his thigh. Teds mustache tickling on his skin and Teds chest rubbing against his.

He memorizes it all, for when it’s over and Ted inevitably leaves.

Bill almost regrets it afterwards. Not because he didn‘t enjoy it, but because this is it now, right? He gave Ted what he wanted, Ted is satisfied, it‘s over.

Ted went to the bathroom a minute ago and when he got up, Bill was sure he was just going to leave, less than five minutes afterwards. Maybe he’ll leave once he gets back from the bathroom.

Bill gets up when he hears the bathroom door open again. He slips into some underwear and makes his way to the bathroom as well, sure that Ted will be gone or at least in the process of getting dressed when he gets back.

Bill probably scared him away when he watched him for a bit too long after they both finished and layed there, too exhausted to get up right away. He fucked up, he thinks. He was too sentimental, too in love.

Ted is not gone, when Bill gets back.

He’s still naked, back in Bills bed and waiting for him.

Bill slips in next to him. Ted rolls over and suddenly he‘s in Bills arms and Bill freezes.

Does Ted do this with every one-night stand?

Bill turns his head to Ted and Ted kisses him, like he was waiting for Bill to turn his head.  

For a second, Bill thinks Ted is going to suggest a third round and he gets ready to negate, now truly exhausted enough, but Ted doesn’t.

He doesn’t suggest anything.

He tugs his head into Bills neck, coming to a rest on his shoulder, then he just lays there, holding Bill close.

Bill doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t dare to. He doesn’t want the moment to end. So he turns off the night lamp and he rests his head against Teds and he closes his eyes and it doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep.

Chapter Text

Bill wakes up first, the next morning.

He lets himself rest for a while, lets himself hold Ted close for a while. He tries not be weird about it but he does bury his nose in Teds hair at one point and inhales silently. It's his last time holding Ted like this, is all. He might as well be a little weird about it. 

Eventually, a grumble in his belly convinces him to get up. They didn’t have any dinner the night before, aside from a quick snack that they ate standing in the kitchen in their underwear, between round one and two.

Bill untangles himself from Teds grip and despite the quiet protests, muttered in a half-asleep state, he slips out of bed. He picks some clothes out of his closet and carries them into the bathroom where he takes a quick shower before he gets dressed.

Then he makes his way into the kitchen. For a while he just stands there and stares into the fridge, until he decides to make some scrambled eggs with toast. It’s Alice’s favorite, maybe Ted will appreciate it too.

He fills up the coffee maker and gets a pan, mixing the egg before he throws it in.

He can hear Ted in the corridor, before he comes into the kitchen. He put on underwear and his shirt, but is still barefoot and pantless. He looks tired and cute.

He smiles. “Good morning”, he says.

He wraps his arms around Bills waist before Bill can do anything and leans against his back.

“I have to go in a bit”, he confesses quietly.

“Yes?”, Bill asks, as he tries his best to hide the disappointment in his voice.

“Yes, I have to pick up Peter. He just called.”

He leaves a kiss on Bills neck before he pulls away.

Bill turns to him.

“Where is he?”, he asks, before he reaches for the coffee pot and fills up two mugs.

“He’s at that… abstinence camp thing. Our parents made him go. And apparently something happened there again and now I have to come pick him up early.”

Bill hands one of the mugs to Ted, who takes it and brings it up to his nose. He inhales and sighs contently. “Thank you”, he whispers.

“What do you mean something happened?”, Bill asks.

“I don’t know, he said he’d explain it to me in the car. But I’m fucking worried.”

“Do you think he’s hurt?”

Ted shrugs. “When I was his age, our parents made me go too and I almost died there.”

Bill frowns. “How? What do they do there?”

“Oh, no, nothing, there was just some kind of serial killer hiding in the woods there back then. He killed a few kids, it was messy.”

“Oh god.”

“It was twenty years ago, I think they caught him by now, they must have. Pete’s probably fine, but I’m still worried you know? I’m worried about him all the time.” Ted takes a sip of his coffee. “Is that normal? Being so worried? I just want to make sure nothing bad happens to him ever.”

Bill can’t help but smile. “Mh-hm.”

“It’s normal?”

“I mean, I hope so.”

Bill takes a sip of his coffee as well, before he checks on the eggs again and turns off the stove.

“Are you hungry?”, he asks.

“Oh god, yes”, Ted says immediately, so Bill gets two plates and finishes what he started making.

He hands one of the plates to Ted, who takes it with a “Thank you, you’re literally the best. I can’t believe you made this for me.”

Bill smiles. “You say that like no one-night-stand ever made you breakfast.”

“They usually don’t let me stay the night”, Ted says, with an honesty that makes Bills heart drop.

Ted takes a bite of the toast and closes his eyes for a moment. “This is so good”, he whispers. “Kind of makes me want to go down on you again.”

Bill laughs. “I thought you’re in a hurry.”

“Mh. Fifteen more minutes wont hurt Pete.”

Bill smiles. “Just eat your breakfast”, he says, before he dedicates his attention back to his own plate.

They eat the rest of their breakfast in silence.

Then Ted puts his empty plate and mug in the dishwasher and looks up, apologetically.

“I really have to go now.”

“I know. It’s fine.”

“Okay, I’m… going to get dressed.”

Bill nods.

Ted disappears and Bill tidies up the rest of the kitchen, before he meets Ted in the corridor, now fully dressed again.  

“I know you called this a one-night-stand earlier but if you want we can do this again”, Ted says.

Bill nods. “Okay, we’ll see.”

“You have my number so… just call. I’ll be there. Any time.”

Bill smiles. “I don’t know about any time. Alice will be back soon.”

“We can go to my place. Or no, maybe not. I’m not sure yet, Peter is moving in with me soon, so he’ll probably be there.”

“He’s moving in with you?”

“Yes, doesn’t get along with our parents. I can’t blame him.”

“Oh.”

“But we can find a way to meet, if you want.”

Bill smiles. “Mh-hm.” He opens the door for Ted.

“I think we should do it again”, Ted goes on, halfway in the door now.

“Yes?”

Ted nods. “Last night was the best sex I ever had.”

“You say that to everyone.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Sure.”

“And we’re both single, so there’s no one between us, think about it.”

“Okay.”

“You still have to show me what that vibrator does.”

“I thought we were going to forget that you saw that.”

“Never. Turns me on just to imagine it.”

“Ted-”

“It just makes sense that we do it again.”

Bill laughs now. “Okay.”

“You enjoyed it too, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Good. Cool. Okay.” Ted nods. “See you?”

Bill nods. “Yes.”

Ted leans in and presses a kiss on Bills mouth, then he leaves.

“Call me”, he says, while he makes his way towards the stairs, turning around one more time.

Bill nods and watches him hurry down the stairs, before he closes the door again. He takes a breath. Oh god.

Chapter Text

Bill is almost nervous about going to work on the next Monday. He’s not sure how to act around Ted and he’s not sure how Ted will act around him. He is, however, sure that he doesn’t need everyone at CCRP to know that they had sex.

Ted arrives before he does. Bill knows that, because an iced caramel frappe is waiting for him on his desk when he settles down in his cubicle. Ted even wrote something on the cup sleeve.

again tonight? – t

Bill throws a glance towards Teds office, but the door is closed.

Bill is kind of glad about it. He’s not sure what he’ll do when he sees Ted again. He has been thinking about him and about what he said, and he can’t deny that Ted was right, it does make sense that they do it again. Bill wants to do it again. He wants it really bad. If he’d be honest with himself he would admit that he spent the whole weekend on the verge of calling Ted. But he won’t be honest with himself, so instead he decided that what happened between them can never happen again ever.

He gets up to put the lunch he brought into the fridge in the break-room. When he steps through the door, there Ted is. Right next to the coffee pot and talking to Charlotte.

It’s a little weird, seeing Ted like this after everything. All dressed up, business casual with his hair neatly slicked back again. There is only the hint of a hickey left on his neck but the memory of putting it there is still vivid in Bills mind.

Ted looks up and smiles when he spots Bill.

“Morning”, he says and winks.

“Good morning”, Bill mutters. Then he turns around and leaves again. Putting his lunch away can wait, he decides.

He knows it’s embarrassing to act like a child about it. He knows he’s the one who made Ted promise that it won’t be weird at work after and he knows he’s the one acting weird about it now.

It’s just that he can’t help it, not really. He likes Ted so much, it’s getting ridiculous. The worst part is that he’s still embarrassed about it. It’s Ted and he’s nice and caring and maybe an asshole sometimes but not to an extend that Bill wouldn’t be able to handle. And still, the idea of someone finding out about Bills feelings for Ted makes him want to crawl into a hole.

Sylvia from the front desk has been rather smile-y around him recently, maybe that would be a safer bet. Easier to explain to Alice eventually for sure.

She’s the kind of woman that Bill would go out with, she wouldn’t be a surprise and more importantly; she wouldn’t be a risk. She’s a bit like Amelia, his ex-wife, but still different enough.

Alice might even like her.

He decides to write an email, to let Ted know that it needs to stop. He thought about knocking on Teds office door and explaining it in person, but he doesn’t trust himself to not kiss Ted if he ends up alone with him.

So he writes an email and it only takes him an hour to make it perfect.

Hello Ted, the email starts. Bill spent about ten minutes on debating whether or not he should write Dear, but he eventually decided against it. Too personal for the fact that this is something like a breakup.

from: [email protected]

to: [email protected]

subject: Your Offer

Hello Ted,

Thank you for the Iced Caramel Frappe. I do, however, have to decline your offer as I’m not interested in replacing your previous affairs in the way you’re used to.

I’m sorry. I hope you’re doing well.

Bill

He spends about five minutes staring at the door to Teds office after he hit send. If he’s being honest, he did expect Ted to come out of there. Ted doesn’t and after a while, Bill accepts that this is it and they’ll just never talk about it again.

When he runs into Ted in the storage closet, he almost managed to be cool about it all again. Unfortunately he stops being cool about it the moment Teds eyes meet his and the door falls shut behind him.

“Bill”, Ted says, greets him quietly. 

“Hey”, Bill mutters.

Ted opens his mouth, then closes it again.

“Did you get my email?”, Bill asks.

Ted nods.

Bill nods as well. “‘Kay. Good.”

“You could have just told me”, Ted notes.

“What?”

“You didn’t have to write an overly formal email, you could have just knocked on my office and said ‘no, Ted, thank you but no’.”

“Are you mad because I emailed you?”

“I just thought you…” Ted smiles lightly and scoffs and then he shakes his head.

“You thought what?”

“No.”

“What did you think?”

“Nothing, okay? Let’s forget about it.”

Ted runs a hand through his hair, pushing back the strands that slipped out and making it neat again.

“I mean what were you even- You’re not interested in replacing my previous affairs in the way I’m used to, what does that even mean?”

“It just means I’m not…” Bill makes a vague gesture to try and explain it.

“You don’t want sex anymore?”, Ted asks, confused, “Or you don’t want to go out, or-…”

“Yes. Or I’m not… If you’re looking for someone new to fill your bed after Charlotte left you then I’m not doing it. This was a one-time thing, okay? I’m looking for a long-term relationship, if anything and I figured you wouldn’t be interested in that.”

“You figured I’m not interested?”

“You’re not, are you?”

“No. No, sure, you’re right. Why don't you just go out with Sylvia?”

“Sylvia?”

“Yeah. She likes you, doesn’t she? It’s obvious.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Yes!”

It’s quiet after that, because Bill didn’t expect Ted to say that. Judging by the look on Teds face, Ted didn’t expect himself to say that either.

“I never said I’m not interested”, Ted notes quietly. “I’ve told you more than once how I feel about going out, you just chose to ignore it. Because you’re embarrassed. You’d rather die than be seen with me.”

“That’s not true”, Bill says, but even as the words pass his lips, he can feel the taste of a lie on his tongue. He drops his gaze.

“It’s fine”, Ted notes.

Bill doesn’t know what to say, so he stays silent, while Ted goes on.

“Sylvia is nice. You can take her to church, introduce her to Alice. She suits you. You should go for it.”

The longer Ted talks about it, the more Bill realises that he doesn’t want that. Sylvia is the safer bet, sure, but that’s what Bill thought when he married Amelia too. Besides, he doesn’t love Sylvia. Maybe he could, but if he’s being honest, he doesn’t even feel like giving it a try.

“I can still come fix your printer, whenever you need me to”, Ted promises.

Bill swallows. “What?”

“Bill. Come on.”

“I didn’t-“

“We both know you did.”

“Not on purpose. Not every time.”

“Mh.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I like fixing it for you.”

“Yeah?”

Ted nods lightly. “Yes. I’m sorry I was mad because of the email.”

“I just emailed you because I was scared I’d kiss you again if I end up alone in your office with you”, Bill admits.

It’s quiet for what feels like hours. Then Teds lips warp into a smile.

“Don’t say anything”, Bill warns. Ted doesn’t listen.

“Didn’t know I’m so irresistible to you.”

“I took you home. Slept with you, more than once.”

“What about now?”

“Now?”

“Now you’re alone with me too. Is this hard for you?”

“I’m not answering this.”

“Is that a yes?”

Ted is genuinely so annoying. Bills eyes drop down to Teds mouth.

“If you make one more crack at me, I’m going to-…”

Ted looks delighted.

“Yeah?”, Ted asks, “Bill?”

Bill doesn’t answer, so Ted goes on: “What are you going to do?”

Turns out what Bill is going to do is kiss Ted so hard that they fall against the shelf behind Ted and knock down a stack of printing paper.

Neither of them really pays attention to it, as they continue to pull each other close.

Bill has been aching for Teds lips on his own for the whole weekend. He kept thinking about doing it again, kept thinking about when he’ll get the chance to do it again, while he told himself that he’s absolutely not going to do it again.

Teds hands are on his waist, making Bills mind spin like a ceiling fan on the highest setting. For a moment he’s almost about to kick all of his plans in the bin and agree to just do this forever, but he manages to catch himself when footsteps pass through the corridor outside the storage room and Bill panics and stumbles out of Teds arms.

No one comes in but the moment is over anyway.

For a moment Bill wants to say something but instead he just stares at Teds disheveled figure, then he closes his mouth and points at the door before he leaves him alone in there.

He only remembers to properly breath again when he’s back at his desk.

Paul throws a glance at him, when he settles down on his chair.

“Everything alright, Bill?”, he asks.

Bill nods and Paul, being Paul, immediately drops the issue and goes back to what he was doing on his computer.

Bill hears the door to the storage room open and it takes everything in him to not turn around and look.

A few minutes later, an email arrives.

from: [email protected]

to: [email protected]

subject: RE: Your Offer

In case I haven’t made it clear enough: The long-term thing sounds nice.

Bill spends quite a while staring at the sentence, incapable of processing it or doing anything. He throws a glance at the door to Teds office. Just about a second later, it opens and Ted comes out, carrying an empty mug like a prop. His eyes immediately fall on Bill, like he was looking for him all along.

Bill doesn’t know how to react, so he drops his gaze and slowly turns back to his computer. In his peripheral vision, he can see Ted make his way to the break-room. For a moment Bill wants to follow him. He doesn’t, in the end.

Bill doesn’t answer the e-mail. Mostly because he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to think, how to act anymore.

When he comes home, there’s a note waiting on the dining table for him.

at the cinema with friends, might be home late
love you

He knows she did this so he can’t say no. A glance at the clock tells him that the movie probably already started by now. There’s no point calling. Not that there’d be one anyway. She’s fine, she’s out with friends, she’s having fun, no need to worry.

He aimlessly wanders around his apartment until he finds himself on the balcony with his phone pressed to his ear after he dialled Teds number.

“Bill?”, Teds voice answers. He sounds confused, most of all.

“Alice is out with her friends.”

Ted is at his door in less than 15 minutes, out of breath like he ran up the stairs after Bill buzzed him in. 

They’re kissing before Ted even came in.

Bill pulls away just long enough to close the door behind Ted. No need to give nosy neighbours a show.

Teds hands are already wandering and Bill doesn’t complain.

He helps Ted out of his jacket, before he goes for his neck to refresh that hickey.

Ted moans quietly. “I thought we’re never doing this again.”

“Let’s not talk right now”, Bill answers.

Ted doesn’t listen. “You didn’t answer my email.” He’s teasing but there’s still a little bit of sincerity swinging in his voice.

Bill reaches for Teds face and rests his forehead against Teds. "Ted”, he whispers, catching Teds eyes, “Later?”

Ted nods. “Okay.”

"Okay", Bill confirms quietly before he reaches for Teds hand and drags him into the bedroom.

Ted makes him feel so good. Not just sexually, his nearness makes Bill feel warm and loved. It feels easy, being with him. Bill feels light as a feather in Teds arms.

A part of Bill genuinely thought he'd never feel like this again but when Ted grabs his thigh and his head falls against Bills shoulder while he mutters loving, almost incomprehensible things into his neck, the excitement sits in Bills chest the way it did when Amelia kissed him in his car after their first date.

He feels lightheaded, like he’s flying, like he’s young again and falling in love for the first time all over. He pulls Ted closer and wraps his legs around his waist.

Maybe he would go out with Ted, if Ted wanted to. He definitely would go out with Ted if Ted wanted to. He will go out with Ted.

It’s time he stops lying to himself, he wants Ted close like this forever. Or at least for as long as Ted will have him, which might be longer than Bill allowed himself to believe for the past days.

Bill watches as Ted sits up, less than five minutes after they finished.

Ted doesn’t ask why Bill called, doesn’t mention the email anymore.

“I should leave”, he notes. He doesn’t turn to look at Bill.

“Do you have to pick up Peter from somewhere again?” 

“No, but- ... Alice comes back soon, right? Doesn’t need to know that her dad fucks.” He pronounces it like a joke but there’s something serious about him, a part that comes off almost sentimental. 

Bill sits up, when Ted gets out of bed. He watches while Ted gathers his clothes from the floor and gets dressed. First his underwear, then one sock. He spends a few seconds looking for the other one. It’s on the bed, hiding somewhere between the sheets. Bill doesn’t tell him, instead he watches while Ted slips into his shirt and starts to button it wrong.

“I want to go out with you”, Bill hears himself say. 

Ted looks up. 

And for a moment, that’s all. 

Just Teds eyes meeting Bills. His fingers still rest on the buttons of his shirt but he doesn’t move them anymore, he stopped in place. 

“Come again?”, he asks, a bit too quiet. 

“I want to go out with you”, Bill repeats, even if the nervousness put a lump into his throat that makes it harder to speak now, to swallow. “Exclusively.” 

“So you did read my email.” 

“Of course I read your email.” 

“I thought you were just going to ignore it forever.” 

“No. Sorry.” 

Ted slowly continues buttoning his shirt, perhaps only so he can focus his attention back onto something else. 

“I haven’t really done that before.” 

“If you changed your mind-“ 

“No, I’m just warning you. For when I fuck up.” 

“You won’t.” 

“I might.” 

“That’s okay, me too.” 

Ted nods lightly. “Okay. Let’s do this then.” He’s blushing, when he looks up again.

“Are you sure?”, Bill asks.

“Very sure.”

He curses quietly when he realises that he buttoned the shirt all wrong.

“Come here”, Bill orders. Ted does.

Bill pulls him back onto the bed, into his lap and into a kiss, before he rebuttons his shirt for him.

Ted watches him with a smile on his mouth.

“Maybe we can go out for dinner soon?”, Bill asks quietly.

Ted nods. “I’d love that.”

“Okay. … I’m sorry I didn’t answer your email.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“And I’m sorry I fought so hard against liking you.”

“Happens to the best of us.”

“I mean it. It wasn’t fair.”

“Bill.” Ted smirks and presses a kiss on Bills mouth. Then he reaches for his face, and holds it gently while he kisses every inch of it.  

Bill closes his eyes and lets Ted do it, melts into his grip like candle wax.

“I was scared”, Bill admits quietly, while Teds kisses cloud up his mind, “that it wouldn’t work out.”

“Still scared?”, Ted mumbles against Bills temple before he continues the kisses.

“A bit.”

“Me too.”

Bill tilts up his head so Teds lips find their way back to his mouth. Ted gets the hint fast enough.

They roll over in bed, from the seated position onto their side.

“Stay for a bit longer?”, Bill whispers against Teds mouth after a while.

Ted smiles. “What about Alice?”

“She’ll be out for a few more hours, I’m sure.”

“Yes?”

“Mh-hm. Let me make you some pasta for dinner.”

“Tempting offer.” Ted blushes, smiles while he says that.

“You’ll stay then?”

Ted nods. “I was just going to leave because I thought you’d want me to.”

Bill shakes his head. “No.”

“Yeah, I figured by now.”

“I'm sorry that I made you feel like that.”

Ted shakes his head and kisses Bill. “You can always make it up to me with pasta.”

Bill chuckles. "Okay", he whispers, before he places one more kiss on Teds mouth and entangles himself from Ted to get out of bed.