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“Do you have a crush on anyone?”
Giulia asks Luca this when they’re outside eating lunch, legs pressed together while Luca’s reading something from his astrology book. He almost chokes on his water and looks away, nervous. “ Hah , of course not. What makes you ask that?”
The girl shrugs. “Just wondering.” She takes a bite out of her sandwich and looks at the book Luca is reading from.
Luca doesn’t speak for a bit, and when he does his voice comes out as a whisper. “Actually…”
He trails off, but Giulia knows what he’s trying to say. She fully turns her body to look at her friend, asking, “Who is it?”
The boy sighs and closes his book. Luca whispers a name, and when Giulia complains she can’t hear it, he repeats it again, a bit louder this time. “Alberto.”
Of course, Giulia knows this already. It’s pretty obvious; with the way he reads Alberto’s letters, to how his face lights up when he talks about Giulia’s brother, you’d think that they’re dating, right? Well, that’s what their friends thought, too. When Luca told them he and Alberto were ‘just friends,’ they were way more than just surprised.
Giulia takes another bite from her sandwich. “Have you told him yet?” she asks in-between chews.
Luca scrunches his nose up. “ Ew , Giulia, don’t talk with your mouth full — and, uh, no. I haven’t.”
The red-head nods at his response and gulps down the remaining sandwich. It’s understandable, these feelings are hard. Giulia doesn’t get crushes often, but when she does she gets terrified at the thought of confessing, because that fear of rejection buries itself into her brain. She guesses that Luca has those fears, too.
Luca goes back to reading (or, well, he tries to. Alberto is on his mind again). Giulia wants to tell him that it’s okay, and that Alberto probably — no, definitely — likes him too, and even if he doesn’t they’ll still be friends. She knows that no matter how much she tries and comforts him, he’ll still have those fears, but she does it anyway, because that’s what friends do.
“It’s okay, Luca,” Giulia reassures. “You don’t have to tell him right away, that’s fine. You two will figure it out.”
•
“Do you have a crush on anyone?”
Massimo asks Alberto this while they’re preparing some food. Luca and Giulia are coming back from Genova soon, so the father-and-son duo are preparing a big feast for their arrival.
Of course, Massimo already knows he does; in fact, almost everyone in Portorosso knows. It isn’t exactly a secret. With the way Alberto looks at Luca and talks about him, you’d be surprised they weren’t dating yet.
Though, of course Alberto doesn’t know this himself. He just assumes that’s how everyone is with their friends. Alberto looks at his father, confused. “Why do you wanna know?”
“Just wondering.” Massimo looks down at Machiavelli, who is rubbing his face against the man’s leg.
“Oh.” Alberto finishes setting up the table. “Well, I’m pretty sure I don’t have one. I don’t even know what having a crush feels like.”
Massimo hums in response as he walks over to Alberto, motioning him to sit down. He does, and Massimo sits next to him, squeezing his shoulder. “Well,” he starts, “having a crush feels like you want to be around them all the time, and you feel happy just from thinking about them.”
He pauses to study Alberto’s face, who looks curious. Massimo clears his throat and continues on, saying, “And when you’re around them, or thinking about them, you feel farfalle in your stomach.”
The atmosphere is a little weird (and a bit uncomfortable), because they don’t have a lot of conversations like this. Their conversations are always about fishing, cooking, or about the latest Vespa models. Usually, they also talk about Luca and Giulia.
Alberto isn’t exactly an ‘open book.’ Over the years, he’s thankfully opened up a bit more, but he still has a lot of secrets he’s kept. Even so, Massimo still knows a lot about the boy, like about his past, his hobbies, interests — and, of course, his crush on Luca.
Alberto’s eyes widen. “Butterflies?” he asks. Massimo nods, and from the look on his son’s face it looks like a lightbulb lit in his head.
Alberto looks at his lap and kicks his legs back and forth. He’s a little embarrassed, because it took him this long to understand his feelings, but he’s glad he knows now. He clears his throat when Massimo repeats, “So, do you have a crush on anyone, figlio ?”
“I, uh, I think I do?” His answer comes out more as a question, but Massimo understands. Figuring out your feelings for someone is tough, especially when you haven’t felt that way before.
Alberto gets up from his seat and walks over to the door. “Can I go for a swim?” he asks. “I’ll only be gone for a little while.”
Massimo nods and gets up as well, walking back over to the stove. “ Sì , you can go. I can finish cooking.”
Alberto nods and walks out of the house, closing the door behind him. Massimo sighs and turns his radio on, listening to the soft romantic song that was playing. He can tell that Alberto is still struggling with coming to terms with his feelings, but that’s okay. He’ll figure it out.
•
“Do you have a crush on anyone?”
Alberto asks Luca this when they’re laying on the sand. Luca’s pointing out different stars he can see, while Alberto’s listening to his voice. Luca and Giulia came back from school a couple hours ago, and the boys decided to hang out at the beach while Giulia spent some time with her father.
The question catches Luca a little off-guard. He looks at Alberto, confused. “Why’re you asking?”
Alberto shrugs. “Just wondering,” he says. He isn’t looking at Luca, instead he’s looking at the dark sky.
Luca raises his eyebrows, curious. “Do you?” he asks.
“Do I what?”
“Do you have a crush?”
“Oh.” Alberto bites his lip and doesn’t answer. He sits up and crosses his legs together, staring at his lap.
He wants to answer. He wants to open his mouth and say “Yeah, I have a crush, and it’s you,” but he can’t . He’s scared . He’s scared of how Luca will react. He’s scared that Luca will reject him, or laugh at him, or leave him. Bruno is filling Alberto’s brains with all these words that he knows are just lies, but he can’t help but believe them.
“Alberto?”
Luca’s voice brings Alberto back into reality. “Are you okay?” Luca asks. He’s worried, because Alberto looks a bit nervous, and he doesn’t know why.
“Uh, yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” Alberto says quickly. He looks at Luca, who’s sitting up as well. “I’m fine, don’t worry. I just…”
He trails off, and Luca’s looking at him with an even more worried expression. “Are you sure?”
At this point, Alberto is 100% sure he is not fine. He doesn’t want to tell Luca that, though. Luca can definitely tell Alberto isn’t okay, anyway. Luca knows him well. They’ve been best friends for 2 years, he can tell when Alberto isn’t himself.
Luca squeezes Alberto’s hand, which causes the butterflies in the taller boy's stomach to multiply. “You know you can tell me anything. Right, Beto?”
The nickname makes Alberto’s heart do a backflip. He clears his throat and lets out a shaky breath. He thinks back to what Bruno was telling him earlier, about Luca rejecting him, or laughing at him, or leaving him — but Luca wouldn’t do that, though. Right? Well, maybe he’d reject Alberto, but he wouldn’t leave him. He wouldn’t laugh at him. He would be understanding , and reassuring . He wouldn’t be cruel.
Those thoughts make Alberto feel a bit better. He looks at Luca’s worried face and says, “Well, actually, I do have a crush.”
Luca’s worryness vanishes, and it’s replaced with curiosity. “Really? Who?”
Alberto looks at Luca’s soft brown eyes, and he can feel himself getting lost in them. “Well, uh, he lives here. In Portorosso.”
“Oh?” Luca thinks a bit before asking, “Is it Guido?”
Alberto can’t help but laugh. He shakes his head. “No, no, it’s not Guido.” He laughs with a big smile on his lips. “No, it’s not him. It’s, uhm…”
He trails off and looks down at the sand, his expression turning a bit more serious. Luca’s confused again; why is Alberto having a hard time saying who his crush is? He thinks for a few seconds more and realizes something, his cheeks turning red. Really, he can’t be the one Alberto likes (he’s sure of that), but he should at least ask. Who knows? Maybe he’s wrong.
Luca bites his lip and asks, “Is it me?” in a soft voice.
Alberto looks up at Luca. His green eyes are wide and practically glowing in the dark. Luca can’t see clearly, but he can make out some red coloring on the taller boy’s cheeks. Was his guess right? He hopes it is. He doesn’t think he can handle any more of just fantasizing about kissing Alberto, or holding his hand in a more-than-friendly way, or whispering ‘I love you’s’ in his ear. He wants all that to be real .
“How did you know?” Alberto asks. Was his crush that obvious?
“Just a guess.” Luca looks down at their intertwined fingers and looks back at Alberto again. He’s scared, and nervous. Their faces are inches apart now, and he can count the freckles on Alberto’s cheeks. “So, I’m right?”
“Yeah,” Alberto breathes out. His voice is quiet, but it immediately gets louder when he starts rambling. “Though, if — if you don’t like me like that, that’s fine. Heh. I can live, I think. I just — I just wanted to tell you —”
“Alberto,” Luca cuts him off, and Alberto’s mouth closes. Luca’s eyes are sparkling, and Alberto thinks they look beautiful . “I like you, too.”
Alberto doesn’t say anything. Is he dreaming? Did he hear those words correctly? Luca likes him back ? He feels a rush of happiness as a big smile appears on his lips. He studies Luca’s face: his eyes, his freckles, his lips —
“Can I kiss you?” Luca asks after a few seconds of silence.
“Yes,” Alberto says quickly. His voice is a little high-pitched, and it’s a bit embarrassing, but he doesn’t care. “ Yes, per favore fallo. ”
Luca moves closer to Alberto. He presses his lips against the others, and Alberto feels like he’s on cloud 9. He immediately kisses back and cups Luca’s face in his hands. Luca’s lips taste like strawberries, and does he know why? No. Is he complaining? Absolutely not.
Luca places his hand over Alberto’s, and they keep kissing until Alberto pulls away. He’s catching his breath, and both of their faces are bright red. He’s shocked and happy and giddy. He doesn’t know if this is a dream or not, and if it is he doesn’t wanna wake up.
Alberto sucks in a breath before speaking. “That was…”
He trails off, but Luca finishes his sentence with a soft “…yeah.” They’re giggling now, and Luca presses his forehead against Alberto’s.
Alberto smiles and kisses Luca again. He kisses his lips, his cheeks, his nose, freckles, forehead — anywhere on his face that he could reach. Luca’s laughs are like music to his ears. They both fall on the sand and pull away, laughing again. Alberto strokes Luca’s cheek, letting his hand fall down to squeeze the other boy’s hand.
Alberto’s smile is so big, and his cheeks are starting to hurt, but he can’t help it. He’s wanted to do this for so long , long before he knew what his feelings meant. Luca leans his head forward and kisses Alberto again, pulling the taller boy closer.
They don’t know how their relationship will be in the future, but that’s okay. They’ll figure it out.