Archive of Our Own

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid
Use my best colors for your portrait
Lay the table with the fancy shit
And watch you tolerate it
If it's all in my head tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it

~~

When Nico woke up inside the jar, he thought it was some sick penance. 

A punishment for all the sins he had committed in his past life.

Past life.

The thought came so effortlessly. There were no thoughts of protest or not even a debate. The old Nico had burned away from the blistering air of Tartarus. 

Nico di Angelo. Who even was he?

The bastard son of Hades, doomed to be hidden away. The enemy of Zeus and the bane of The Great Prophecy. A little brother who must be protected. A catholic youth in Italy, raised to believe in a fascist agenda. The Italian immigrant to the United States, the grandson of a diplomat. A boy who mysteriously disappeared after going to a boarding school, never to be seen again. A child who lost both his mother and sister, wandering the world alone like the ghosts in the Fields of Asphodel. The Ambassador of Pluto, who they had no idea what to make of. The son of Hades, ostracized at both camps. A hero of Olympus in the Battle of Manhattan. The boy with no identity, the traces of his former self washed away with the River Lethe, only to come back with the tide.

He knew he deserved this fate. Those days he spent at Church in Italy, discussions of Lent and atonement and how the common man deserved to suffer. Homosexuals. Pagans. Murderers. He was all three. Yet the church was right about one thing. God Help the Outcasts. Where were the Gods when he was cast away? Where was anyone, for that matter?

He had no idea where he was. Nor much of an idea of how he got there. He had distant recollections of bits and pieces of the pit, though it might as well been a different Nico di Angelo. Helplessly falling for what seemed like eternity, being sucked into the pit like a magnet. Drinking from the fiery river, his throat on fire while his skin itched, chafed, and burned. Coming face to face with Akhlys. Bob. Everything else was blurry— figuratively and literally. 

He mustered all of his strength to push himself up, but even that was a fools errand. His bones felt like they were about to snap and his muscles throbbed with pain. Even the simple act of swallowing felt like sandpaper. He didn’t know if it was from the lack of water or if it was from screaming in pain.

Pain. Pain was all he knew.

What a simple word for his situation. It almost made him laugh. As if anything about it was simple.

It didn’t take long to realize how dreadfully hot it was. He was drenched in sweat, soaking his dried wounds and scratches. And the air wasn’t much better than the air in Tartarus. In fact, it was even worse. He couldn’t breathe. 

He grabbed his neck, gasping for air. A fish out of water. From the outside, he heard the distant laughing of two large figures who’s looks he couldn’t comprehend with his weary eyes, but . The monsters who kidnapped him. It took him a moment to realize they were laughing at him. They dragged him out of Tartarus, went up in a cursed Elevator and out of the Greek town of Epirus, tossed him on a boat. 

Giants. Bob was friends with one. Damasen, the kindly and pacifistic bane of Ares. And he’d heard of Alcyoneus and Polybotes, one of which his half-sister, Hazel, defeated…. Oh gods. Hazel. He started to panic. The last time he’d seen her, it was to say goodbye before her quest. Whether she succeeded, he had no idea. He’d told her he didn’t want to lose his sister, but even that was a half-truth. The thought of losing her, Frank, or Percy on the quest made him seethe with rage and guilt. It reassured him that he didn’t feel any of their deaths, but still… it could just mean that Death was still captured. 

He knew Hazel harbored some sort of bitterness towards him. He saw the heartbroken yet resentful look in her golden eyes every time he brought up Bianca. He could see her thought process glimmering on the surface like jewels. Hazel thought she was some sort of replacement. A consolation prize for losing Bianca in the Underworld. And the worst part was that Nico couldn’t tell her it was a lie. Hiding yet another thing from her.

Hiding came easy as breathing for him. But all he wanted now was to tell her everything and cry in her arms. He needed her more than he needed air.

He couldn’t lose another sister. Not again. Bianca was enough, but Hazel could shatter him. 

Hazel… I’ll be back for you. I promise. I’m not going to leave you alone in this world. I know you’re making me proud. 

He then thought of Percy. He was still alive. He let himself feel more relieved than he was supposed to. But for that moment, it didn’t matter. Because Percy was okay, for now. The Romans had accepted him into their Camp. Oh how he wished he could tell him everything… but the wrath of his father was even more terrifying than the wrath of Percy Jackson.

Yet why was it that he feared disappointing Percy more than being struck by a god?

He groaned. He couldn’t waste time pondering. He was running out of time. If he stayed like this for much longer, he would suffocate. 

Why even bother? No one knows where you are. No one is going to save you. 

You don’t deserve to be saved. Not after everything you’ve done. Why do you even consider the possibility that they would even associate with you after finding out the truth? 

Nico shook himself out of his misery. All he had to do was survive. If he was to die, it was going to be on his own terms. And if he dies… so be it. He grabbed a pomegranate seed from his pocket, and his eyes welled with tears, despite his dehydration. It was now or never.

He took the first seed, crumpling against the wall of the jar. It was a miracle that his aviator jacket withstood the primordial darkness. 

Eight seeds. Eight days. That’s all it took. 

If no one rescued him, he would die. 

But until then, he surrendered to the trance. Percy. Hazel. Please be alright. 

                                                   ********************

Nico was surprised to not immediately enter a dream. 

Nico thought this was a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, dreams could give him information about Hazel and Percy. On the other hand, nightmares plagued him like the hellish arrows Apollo shot. So he was going to take what he could get.

So he found himself sitting on the banks of the River Styx, his toes buried in the black sand. Dream Nico wasn’t even in his aviator jacket, so it was oddly warm in the Underworld. Nico found himself smiling. It was one of his favorite places. Ghosts surrounded the river, and the water almost looked peaceful. If he was to be so bold, he would’ve gone for a swim.

This is nice.

Nico tilted his head back and closed his eyes. Yes. It was. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so close to the water. 

Oh.

Oh.

Nico kicked the black sand and groaned in frustration. Is this some kind of joke? Of course his mind conjured this up. A reminder of Percy Jackson. 

He hated that he couldn’t hate him. He hated himself for not hating him. He hated his relationship with Annabeth. But even after everything, he could never will his hateful thoughts towards Percy. And he could never stop himself from helping him. Instead, all he could do was run away. Run away from his camp, from himself, from his feelings. Try to forget that Percy Jackson ever existed, because maybe, just maybe, he could feel with his demons a little bit easier.

And of course, Percy Jackson shows up at Camp Jupiter.

Ugh. It was bad enough having a crush on a painfully straight boy. Bad enough being… Y’know…. and knowing you’ll never be accepted for it. But your crush showing up at the enemy camp? That was sick. He didn’t know whether to cry in relief or throw things at him or blush, fixing his hair and hoping he looked okay. If he had the choice, he would’ve done all three of these things.

“You cannot interfere with what we’ve set into motion, Nico,” Father told him. 

A chill ran over him. He was reminded of when he took Percy to the Underworld. Gods, he was so stupid. Letting those sinful thoughts come over him. Hey! I should dip him in the River Styx! Maybe he’ll fall in love with me! Baby Nico was so stupid. And it was only ten months ago. Just another sting in the wound. And of course, Percy never looked at him the same after that…

“After you betrayed me.”

No. No. No.

Percy Jackson looked exactly the same as he did on that fateful day. His mischievous sea-green eyes, his fluffy blonde hair, his Orange camp shirt, covered in scratches and stains. But his brows were furrowed in anger, and Nico knew he had to take a step back, even though the first thing he wanted to do was run to him, comfort him, ease his pain. He knew firsthand what the son of Poseidon was capable of, even without a large body of water. 

“Percy.” Nico whispered. Percy . Even his name sounded handsome. The very thought of it made him ashamed. But he couldn’t stop the dozens of suggestions jumping to the front of his mind.

Percy whipped Riptide out of his pocket. There was nothing but hatred in his eyes. “Move.” He growled.

Nico took another step back. “Percy… I’m sorry! I-I didn’t know what Father was going to do! Please believe me!”

Percy rolled his eyes, a gesture he’d done mostly after making a snarky comment. “Like I’d believe a traitor like you.”

“I-I’m not…..” Nico felt his throat burn, scarred by the backwash of the River Phlegethon. “I only wanted to help you! Please, Percy! I… I….” Nico couldn’t bid himself to continue. It only made bile rise from his stomach. I love you. I love you. I love you. And my love is a monster. 

“Help me?” Percy looked disgusted. “All you’ve ever done for me is make things worse!”

This isn’t real, Nico. This isn’t real. He can’t hurt you. Then again, he never thought he’d be transported seventy years in the future. So anything was possible.

“I’ve always tried to help you, Percy! I’m sorry!”

“You… you lied to me. About Camp Jupiter.”

“I had no choice!”

“LIES!”

“Please, Percy! You have to believe me!”

“Coward.”

He plugged his ears. “Stop it! Leave me alone!”

Percy smiled. It looked more like a shark baring it’s teeth rather than the usual, lighthearted Percy Jackson. It was enough evidence that Nico should’ve been able to believe it was merely an illusion conjured up by his mind. But his heart worked faster. He could control his heart rate but he couldn’t control his unwavering feelings. I’m afraid of you. I want you. Everything I do is all for you. 

Desire. If only you knew how I burned with desire. 

“But I do know, son of Hades.”

Nico swallowed his bile. “O-Oh…..”

“I know that you love me.”

“I-I…. I don’t…”

“Stop lying to yourself, Nico di Angelo.” 

“I’m not lying!”

“You want me, Nico.” He took a step. His voice was soft as butter yet rough as tree bark. Ugh. He even sounds handsome . “You want me so badly. Yet you’re hiding from the truth.”

“I’m not hiding!” He reached for his Stygian iron sword that should’ve been attached to his belt. But it wasn’t there. Great. I can’t cut off his stupid head even in my nightmares.

“You don’t want to. You don’t want to hurt me.” Percy purred. His green eyes glittered. “You can’t run forever, son of Hades.”

“I-” a tear trickled down his cheek. “I hate you.” But even that was half-hearted. “I hate you. You… you hurt me. You forgot about me. You… you….” His own voice failed him. Excuses. Excuses. All excuses. “Just leave me alone.”

He shook his head and he clamped his hand on his shoulder. His heart skipped a beat. And he was disgusted with himself more than ever.

Nico hadn’t noticed how close Percy had gotten. Their noses were close to touching. He almost wanted to kiss him. Every cell of his body was clamoring for his skin. Every inch of him wanted his touch, his attention, his gaze to be filled with love instead. Even in his nightmares, he was unrelentingly beautiful. What a horrible punishment for him.

Percy’s face faltered. He almost looked…. Sad? Sympathetic? Oh gods. He looked cold and weary. He hadn’t noticed the bags under his eyes, heavier than a grocery bag. He wanted to hug him so badly. He’d gone through so much. Annabeth was so upset when he went missing and he dropped everything to look for him. He rarely showed up at Camp during that awful time, but when he found out that Jason Grace was there, he forced himself to run further from his life. He had figured out his father’s secret and he was not going to mess it up. Even now, Nico still didn’t know what it was. And it killed him every time.

But even then, he couldn’t imagine what ordeals he had to face on the way to Camp Jupiter. How long had he been wandering, not even being able to know where he came from? He didn’t deserve that. He deserved so much better than Nico di Angelo. He was almost glad he didn’t love him.

Almost.

“Did you miss me?” Percy asked.

He shook his head. Percy frowned. “Wow. I thought you would’ve got over your stupid grudge by now. I thought we were friends, man.”

Nico was taken aback. This sounded so much like the real Percy Jackson. Not some dumb nightmare. Oh, and he missed him. He forced himself not to, but his heart jumped for joy, hearing a snarky joke he made. Memories entered from the floodgates of his mind. Eating birthday cake in Sally Jackson’s house. His occasional visits to Camp Half-Blood. Visiting May Castellan’s house, playing with Mrs. O’Leary…. He was a real friend. 

Nico nodded, forcing himself to not meet his gaze. “You aren’t the real Percy,” He moved his hand through his fluffy blonde hair. Percy blinked, as if surprised by the gesture. His mouth hung half open. “But this is real to me.”

 “Please be safe, Percy.”

Percy frowned. “Oh, don’t worry, Nico. What the gods have in store for me is plenty entertaining.”

Nico was being dragged off the black sands by his feet. Like a vacuum, gravity pulled him to the waters of the Styx as Nico tried to fight his way back. Back to Percy. No… No! Not yet! Not….

Nico was enveloped in the scalding water and his skin burned like acid. It felt like….. he couldn’t even admit to himself what it felt like. 

“PERCY!” He screamed. “HELP!”

He would’ve screamed more. Told him to move the water. But the scalding waters of the Styx burned his eyes as he was pulled under, as his lungs grew heavy and burned from the inside out. He sank to the bottom of the Styx, alone, once again.

                                                    ********************

He forgot where he was when he woke up.

He immediately sat up and ignored his aching bones as he went into a panic. He couldn’t see anything, his vision was obscured. The only light was from his Stygian iron sword, a purple glow. Which wasn’t too bad.

Where am I?

For a second, his heart was about to burst out of his chest. Tears trickled down his cheeks. It was almost dark as it was in Tartarus and the air was just as sweltering. It stung his eyes and his limbs felt heavy, as he’d just lifted a hundred pound weights. I can’t be back there. Not again.

He tried to get up but immediately crumpled back onto the ground. He was exhausted. He’d almost gotten to the edge of Tartarus before those damned giants captured him. Before then, his feet had gotten shredded by broken glass, he was ambushed by Arai, shrouded in death mist by Akhlys, and had to force his way out of the River Cocytus.

He started to hyperventilate. I remember now. 

It was real. I was actually there.

Nico hoped it was some strange nightmare, some trick of the mist. After everything he’d been through, surely he wouldn’t go to Tartarus, right? Right? Father had warned him of the dangers. Even he was too scared to enter its depths. No god had ever entered before. Nico di Angelo was the only mortal who came out alive. 

No….. I can’t be awake right now…

His stomach lurched. When was the last time he’d eaten? Drank water? The irony. The thought of eating made his stomach turn even more. And could he even drink water without burning this throat? 

Bold of me to assume I’ll live to see that day. 

He had to use context clues. Figure out what day it was, deduct whether Hazel was alive or not. But he was running out of time quickly. His eyes could barely stay open and he needed to take the next pomegranate and do it fast. He knew he was in Rome, which made his skin crawl even further. Thinking about Mussolini’s Italy was not nostalgia inducing. More like bile inducing. Percy would like that remark. Maybe I'll tell him that if I’m not freaking dead. If he doesn’t hate my guts.

But going near Percy created nothing but trouble. He had to stay away. 

He took the next seed as he faded into darkness.

                                                      ********************

“So, let me get this straight,” Jason asked. “You’re the…. uh… Ambassador of Pluto?”

“Yes!” Nico exclaimed, way too enthusiastically, like a Girl Scout selling cookies.

Nico was undergoing a Roman rite of passage, as Father literally threw him to the wolves. Introduce yourself as a son of Pluto. It’s important that you make this connection. He didn’t think that Father planned to throw him into a secret camp that apparently existed this entire time! Good to know!

Of course, he was making himself out to be an idiot in front of the two camp leaders: Jason Grace and Reyna. Which wasn’t helping his case as an ambassador and his new fish-out-of-water status. Shut up, Nico. Like he cared what they thought of him, anyway. He’d been run out of Camp Half-Blood, so why would they accept him as well? Shut up, Nico. You’re not here to make friends. You’re here for a mission. What mission? I don’t know. For all I know, Father sent me in a wild goose chase.

His entrance hadn’t made much of a difference either. He shadow travelled into the center of the Principia and caused the cohorts to run around screaming bloody murder and a bunch of lares whispering, Graceus. Graceus. Graceus. Reyna had to fly in on a Pegasus and calm everyone down, but the camp was already in a panic. Legionnaires ran around jabbing their swords and elbowing each other, and some skinny blonde guy led his soldiers in a charge. For some reason, he was holding a stuffed animal. Nothing fazed him anymore. Luckily, Jason mitigated the situation and convinced Reyna to not execute him on the spot. Whether she actually would or not was what he wondered, but that didn’t matter. So now, he sat in the Via Praetoria, in a secret camp he’d never heard of before, trying to explain that he wasn’t out for blood. And things were better. Somewhat. They made introductions and Nico was able to explain some of his backstory. 

Jason and Reyna looked at the other quizzically, probably sending telepathic messages about how weird this emo kid was. They seemed to be having a contest as to how long they could be quiet until one said something. And Nico wasn’t going to be the one to break the silence. Especially since Jason looked just as dangerous as Percy, and Reyna had a sword and two lie detecting metal dogs. 

“So, Nico,” Jason started. “How come you aren’t joining the legion?”

Nico shrugged, but inside, he wanted to die. He quickly tried to find a lie. Or a half truth. “I have duties elsewhere for my father. You wouldn't have much of a need for me in the legion. Plus, I have plenty of training on my belt already.”

Jason frowned. Nico found it hard not to stare at the son of Jupiter. He looked like an all American boy and was extremely handsome, even more muscular than Percy. A jagged scar lined his lips, and he could only imagine how he’d gotten it. His skin was brown and his hair was buzzed short, and like the daughter of Zeus he was slightly familiar with, he too had electric blue eyes. But unlike her dangerous glare, his eyes reminded him of the calmness of the sky on a warm summer day. He almost wanted to trust him. He was perfect. Too perfect. He could tell he was trying to hide his own fears and suspicions about him. He had the sense that children of Jupiter were treated as royalty. But even in Rome, Hades— well, Pluto— still got the short end of the stick.

“I mean, we’ve lost a lot of soldiers in the war,” Jason explained. “We’re down in numbers. We could use another legionnaire.”

Reyna cleared her throat, probably translating to, Feed the son of Hades to the wolves!! She was doing a much worse job of hiding her fears, but he could tell this was an anomaly for her. She seemed like the type of leader to hold her head high, remain calm and collected under any threat. Her jet black hair was hung over her shoulder in a braid with no loose strands, and her almost charcoal eyes contrasted with her bronze skin. And she revealed almost no emotion in her facial expression, though it was obvious she held some sort of interest towards Jason. Just like Annabeth did for Percy…. Let’s not think about that. 

What struck him the most was that her fears translated much differently than Jason’s. It was much different than age old prejudice. He reminded her of something unfortunate… the ghosts of her past. He could tell she’d interacted with ghosts before. He could sense the energy, though it had faded over the years and almost been forgotten hastily. 

Reyna’s brows furrowed. “But how have you been able to cross the River Tiber without enduring the trials of Lupa? And how have you been able to go so long in the wild undetected?”

“I shadow travel. And my father told me about this camp. He told me to introduce myself as a son of Pluto. It was important that I make this connection. Hopefully I can be of some help,” Nico anxiously darted his eyes at the metal dogs. Most animals hated him, being the son of Hades. Aurum and Argentum were sniffing him, glaring their bejeweled eyes at him.

“And your training. How have you-”

“I had a teacher.” Nico’s voice was much harder than he wanted it to be. Reyna seemed to jump at his words. She inched a tad closer to Jason and gave him a look that said, you better say something or I will kill you.

“A teacher?” Jason inquired.

Nico furrowed his eyes. Drop it with the questions. He wished he could leave Minos behind in the Labyrinth, or back to the Underworld, where he sent him. Aurum and Argentum seemed to get the hint, backing away and growing slightly, looking up at Reyna and tugging at her skirt. Jason scratched the back of his head and looked away.

“Nico, I know you don’t want to join our legion, but please understand. It’s dangerous for demigods to exist out in the wild. It’s a miracle you haven’t been killed by a monster by now, or been coerced to the side of the Titan. Especially for a child of the big three? I can’t imagine,” Jason sighed. “The fifth cohort would gladly take you. Our centurions, Dakota and Gwendolyn, are very lovely people-”

“Would they? Would they take him?” Reyna asked. She was being bold. “A son of Pluto showing up at camp, right after a war. When was the last time a child of Pluto resided at our Camp?”

Jason somehow didn’t frown. Instead, his eyes glimmered with mischief. “Come on, Reyna. Just age old legends. And this guy could be dangerous to our enemies.”

“It’s a bad omen, Jason! Think about it. Right after Saturn was scattered? Why now? Why now of all times? And of course, he got the lares up in a frenzy, and the entire camp-”

“Reyna.” Jason’s voice was firm. 

Slowly, he cupped Reyna’s hands, and a blush crossed the top of her nose. She seemed to forget Nico was even in the room or that anything or anyone else had ever existed in this cruel world. He whispered something in her ear, and Reyna nodded. Her heart rate seemed to slow down. They’d definitely known each other for a very long time. He wouldn’t be surprised if they were a couple, though he considered it may be the contrary, as Reyna didn’t seem to be accustomed to the kind gesture. Nico could almost feel happy for them if not for the empty well that used to be his stomach. What’s left for me? A lonely fate?

He didn’t even hate Jason and Reyna. They seemed like very nice people, well, nice if they weren’t ruling over a military encampment. But he was the son of Hades. He didn’t know whether he preferred the Greek facade of civility or the brutal honesty of the Romans. Either way, he couldn’t stop the bile rising in his throat.

“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on joining your camp and never have.” Nico gripped the Stygian iron sword attached to his belt. “I have duties I must attend to in the Underworld For my father.”

Reyna looked like she wanted to sigh in relief. “Very well.”

Jason beamed. “You’ve been to the Underworld? That’s so -”

Reyna elbowed him. “You can learn more about the Underworld later once you show him around camp.”

Jason looked to the bottom of his silk toga glumly. “Okay.”

Nico raised his eyebrow. Not very formal for a leader. He shoved down his curiosity, which he hadn’t felt since he was taken to Camp Half-Blood by Apollo.  

“But it doesn’t mean I can’t be any help to your camp.” Nico met her eyes, almost daring for a challenge. 

Reyna blinked. “What kind of help?”

“I know of the dead very well, praetor,” He unsheathed his sword and held it in his arms, tracing his fingers along the blade. “I can assist you on the matters of your lares. I see there are very many of them here, are they not? I think they’d appreciate my assistance. Plus, the Underworld is stirring. If anything happens, you’ll need me. But, don’t worry.” He slid the sword back to his belt. “I won’t overstay my welcome. You clearly are in a good place without my help.”

The memory fizzled out. Nico was no longer in the via Praetoria anymore, but instead, on a road in the Midwest. Dozens of black SUV’s drove out of camp, with one leading in front of them all. Reyna drove it with a stern look, though it could be obsecured by the sunglasses over her eyes. The camp eagle stood on the top on a pole on the roof of the car.

Nico could almost laugh. Percy and Hazel had found the eagle! They’d succeeded! But his joy was short lived when he realized the Romans were leaving camp. That only happened during times of war…..

Nico grumbled. Percy did something.

Nico’s eyes widened. Or they did something to Percy.

He zoomed in on the SUV. Puerto Rican reggaeton blasted from the radio. The lone centurion of the fifth cohort, Dakota, sat with Leila from the fourth cohort in the backseat of the car. Dakota, as usual, sipped his kool aid that dribbled down his chin and onto his shirt. Leila rolled her eyes, though he wasn’t sure if it was from being so close to Dakota or from him hogging all of the delicious fruity drink.

“Dakota, can you please drink a little quieter?”

He burped. Ugh. He could smell it even from his dream. At least he brushed his teeth. 

“Whadya say?” Dakota grunted.

Leila groaned. “Reyna, how can you even stand this? Why are you voluntarily dealing with him?“

Reyna gripped her hands on the wheel a little tighter. “It’s better than Octavian.”

“Fair.” The Centurions said in unison. 

“So what’s the plan?” Leila asked. “What are you gonna do with the Greek?”

Greek? If Nico wasn’t in a dream or in his weak state, he would’ve shadow travelled to wherever Percy was and saved from from the wrath of Reyna. He was dissapointed and wanted to scream at her with rage. He thought she was better than this. Or maybe she has the right to be mad. Percy might’ve royally screwed things up.

“Her name is Annabeth.” Reyna grit her teeth. “And the answer is simple. We’re going to execute her for crimes against the legion.”

“But why her? Why not the scrawny kid?”

Reyna’s expression became dark and dreary as Erebos. “She’s a daughter of Athena. She betrayed me. She’s Greek. And most importantly, she’s the ringleader in this whole debacle.” She squeezed the wheel even tighter until her knuckles were white as milk powder. “Someone is to blame for what happened. Let it be Annabeth.”

Annabeth. He hadn’t seen her in such a long time, and he wouldn’t consider her as a friend, yet he couldn’t stop himself from suffocating from hopelessness. She’d never overlooked him like the others. She was a kind soul, a brave fighter and warrior, the architect of Olympus, the smartest person he ever met. Even more than Reyna or Percy. He had no idea what was going on. He had no idea that the Greeks had actually taken Jason back to Camp Jupiter. But one thing was for certain. Annabeth didn’t deserve to die. 

The SUV started to fizzle out. Nico felt the air becoming more and more damp and stuffy. 

“No! Wait! I need to-”

                                                      ********************

Nico was starting to get tired of waking up in the jar.

Don’t waste your breath. He immediately had to plug his nose. The air was dank and smelled of poison and stale backwash. Fog surrounded him, eerily reminding him of the death mist that Akhlys gave him. It was both sweltering hot and bitterly cold. Not a good combo either way. 

The seeds. He remembered. There were six left. Six more days. 

He swallowed down his aching bones and infected cuts. Because he had a new resolve to survive. He had to help Percy, Hazel, and Annabeth somehow. Whatever he got wrapped up in, he was the only person who could save him. He was the bridge between both camps. That’s what his dream reminded him of.

Hazel at Camp Jupiter. Percy at Camp Half-Blood. Regardless of if he belonged, he had people worth fighting for.

He swallowed the seed. It was becoming more difficult each time. Every inch of his body pleaded for water and his tongue was dry as the Sahara desert.

But he wasn’t going to waste his breath.

                                                       ********************

Nico was much more energetic in his dreams. He took advantage of the foreign terrain and the fresh air. It may not be real, but he could pretend it was.

He had become very good at pretending.

Of course, he had to plug his ears to the usual memories. His mother smiling down at him. Bianca kissing him on the cheeks. A scared child being dipped in the River Lethe, Percy Jackson shielding him and Bianca from the Manticore as he was terrified, not knowing what to do or what monsters befell him. He ignored them. He ran past. He knew who he had to find. 

Going near Percy will give you nothing but trouble, he remembered. Annabeth. Show me Annabeth.

He found himself in a mess hall on the Argo II.

The Argo II. He knew very little about that ship. He mostly avoided Camp ever since Jason showed up, but he knew a little bit from Annabeth about the expedition. They planned to set sail to the Roman Camp. And Charlie Beckendorf’s successor, Leo Valdez, was the one to build it. They’d never met, but he was impressed with his craftsmanship. It was a miracle how he was able to build the ship that quickly. Plus, rumors of his control over fire…

In the center of the mess hall was a table. Eight voyagers dined, eating donuts and drinking orange juice. The very sight of food made him feel sick, but he stayed in the dream. He had to stay focused.

Firstly, he was relieved when he saw Annabeth. She was alright. She’d grown quite a bit in the last few months, though it made his heart heavy. Bianca was just a bit younger when she died. The young woman Bianca could’ve grown into… his heart grew even heavier when he saw Percy sitting next to her. Of course he was escatic that he was alive. The Romans hadn’t murked him after all. But his hand sat in Annabeth’s and they looked so easy together… focus, Nico. Apparently, the Argo II had arrived just in time. So at least the both of them were spared from what Reyna and Octavian had planned. For some reason, Percy looked disturbed, almost scared.

His pulse stopped when he saw who was sitting at the end of the table. Hazel. Oh gods, Hazel. 

She was alive. And safe.

He hadn’t realized how worried he was about her until he saw her in the flesh. But there was no aura of death surrounding her. Death had been captured again. She succeeded in her mission. For some reason, Thanatos chose to make an exception for her. And thank the gods he did. But he could tell something wasn’t quite right with his sister. Her eyes were bloodshot and sunken as if she hadn’t slept in days. Worry lines crossed her forehead. She anxiously tapped her feet and shuffled back and forth. She was listening intuitively to something Percy was saying, though he couldn’t register what. 

Next to her was Frank Zhang, the son of Mars. He was sitting a lot closer to Hazel, and gazing at her with worry and admiration. Something happened between them on the mission, he knew it. His feet were all the more heavier. But he was glad he was okay. He was one of the closest things to friends he had as well. Never overlooking him at Camp Jupiter, even if he seemed a little anxious to be around him. And he was a good friend to Hazel. He seemed more confident and sure of himself, two things Nico was glad he finally had. 

Three more demigods sat on the right side: Leo Valdez, Jason Grace, and Piper McLean, who Annabeth told him about. Piper looked very kind, her deep brown eyes focused intuitively on Percy and Annabeth. Jason’s arm was set around hers, making sure she was tilted towards him. I guess he isn’t with Reyna, then. On Jason’s other side was Leo, who graciously fit Dakota’s description as the scrawny one. And lastly, next to Percy was a heavyset and stocky satyr who looked like he was about to spill some satyr pellets on the floor.

Hazel choked back a sob. “Nico… oh gods. The seeds.”

They’re talking about me. Percy or Hazel must’ve seen what was going on. For some reason, he felt an air of dread cocooning him.

Annabeth tilted her head to the side. “You know what they are?”

Hazel nodded and sniffled, tears budding out of her eyes. Nico almost lost his nerve, seeing his sister cry.  “He showed them to me once. They’re from our stepmother’s garden.”

Percy took a sip of orange juice. “Your step….. oh. You mean Persephone.” 

Nico wanted to facepalm. Of course, even after all this time, he still apparently had no sense of braincells from Annabeth. 

The silverware started to move towards the table like magnets on a fridge. “The seeds are a last-resort food,” Hazel whimpered, her eyes darting between all members of the group, “Only children of Hades can eat them. Nico always kept some in case he got stuck somewhere. But if he’s really imprisoned…” her voice broke. Frank started to wrap his arm around her protectively, but decided against it at the last moment. 

“The giants are trying to lure us,” Annabeth said. She looked no better off than Hazel or Percy did, but still put on a show of confidence. “They’re assuming we’ll try to rescue him.”

“Well, they’re right!” Hazel exclaimed. She glared at everyone around the table, though she was losing her nerve as well. “Won’t we?”

“Yes!” The short satyr yelled with a mouthful of napkins hamfisted in his mouth. “It’ll involve fighting, right?”

“Hazel, of course we’ll help him,” Frank said, his voice ringing with worry. “But how long do we have before... uh, I mean, how long can Nico hold out?”

Frank didn’t need to finish that sentence for Nico to feel doom and gloom rush over him. Even he was starting to wonder if this was just a hopeless death wish.

“One seed a day,” Hazel said miserably. “That’s if he puts himself in a death trance.”

“A death trance?” Annabeth looked disgusted, pushing her donut away from her. But she also looked numb and unsurprised. “That doesn’t sound fun.”

“It keeps him from consuming all his air,” Hazel cried. “Like hibernation, or a coma. One seed can sustain him one day, barely.” She was definitely trying to keep up her composure, but he could understand now why she was so weary. He was the only family she had left. He wasn’t much of a brother, but he couldn’t do this to her. He’d rather impale himself with his own sword if it meant his sister wouldn’t endure more pain. 

“And he has five seeds left,” Percy said. “That’s five days, including today. The giants must have planned it that way, so we’d have to arrive by July first. Assuming Nico is hidden somewhere in Rome—”

“That’s not much time,” Piper summed up. She put her hand on Hazel’s shoulder, which seemed to comfort her. “We’ll find him. At least we know what the lines of the prophecy mean now. ‘Twins snuff out the angel’s breath, who holds the key to endless death.’ Your brother’s last name: di Angelo. Angelo is Italian for ‘angel.’”

“Oh, gods,” Hazel muttered. “Nico...” 

Nico felt like he was trapped in the dream even more than being in the jar. Being on the outside looking in, watching people discuss his state of being. He wanted to scream, guys! I’m right here! But he didn’t have the strength to even send a dream vision. All he could do was watch. And that gave him the feeling of spiders crawling up and across his back, or stepping on thumbtacks. 

Even worse, he hated how relieved he felt from Hazel worrying about him. He didn’t want her to go through any more pain, but sometimes he wondered if he was just an afterthought. An annoying brother who came to Camp Jupiter to say hello and cause chaos among the legion, who not-so-secretly didn’t want him there. And he felt guilty for not spending more time with her. But he was glad that someone cared, at least. Not like Percy Jackson, his ‘friend’ who forgot he existed ninety percent of the time.

Percy Jackson stared at his donut. Unlike in his recent dream, his green eyes looked like a broken mirror. There was barely any strength or resolve left in them. He was able to read a lot of his emotions, and he could see all of the burdens he was carrying on his back. If only I helped him more….

“We’ll rescue him,” he promised her. “We have to. The prophecy says he holds the key to endless death.”

The prophecy. Just for the prophecy. But what about me? He remembered when everyone congratulated him after he led Kronos forces across Manhattan. He only mattered when he did the impossible. There wasn’t a Nico di Angelo, after all. He died on that snowy day at Westover Hall.

“That’s right,” Piper said, trying to sound reassuring. “Hazel, your brother went searching for the Doors of Death in the Underworld, right? He must’ve found them.”

“He can tell us where the doors are,” Percy said, “and how to close them.”

I don’t care about the damn doors. I care about coming out of this alive. 

Hazel took a deep breath. The silverware on the table stopped clattering.  “Yes. Good.”

“Uh...” The scrawny son of Hephaestus shifted in his chair. Whatever dumb thing was about to come out of his mouth, it wouldn’t be good. “One thing. The giants are expecting us to do this, right? So we’re walking into a trap?”

Hazel’s eyes widened and she looked about to throw up. “We have no choice!”

Leo raised his hands in surrender. “Don’t get me wrong, Hazel. It’s just that your brother, Nico... he knew about both camps, right?”

“Well, yes,” Hazel said.

“He’s been going back and forth,” Leo said, “and he didn’t tell either side.”

This isn’t fair. Nico shut his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see this. The jar is better than this. Take me back. Maybe he had been taken back to Tartarus. Maybe that horrid goddess of misery had decided to torture him as soon as he had some hope.

Jason Grace leaned forward, looking inquisitively at Hazel. His hair was no longer shaven short and had grown wilder, and his eyes had more of a dangerous sparkle. “You’re wondering if we can trust the guy. So am I.”

Hazel got to her feet, her fists trembling. She was struggling not to cry. “I don’t believe this! He’s my brother. He brought me back from the Underworld, and you don’t want to help him?” 

Piper glared disgustingly at Leo. Frank put his hand on Hazel’s shoulder, getting up with her. “Nobody’s saying that.” He glared at Leo. “Nobody had better be saying that.”

Don’t yell at him, Frank, he wanted to say, it’s hopeless. I’m a hopeless case.

Leo blinked. “Look, guys. All I mean is—”

“Hazel,” Jason said. He cleared his throat and all eyes turned to him. “Leo is raising a fair point. I remember Nico from Camp Jupiter. Now I find out he also visited Camp Half-Blood. That does strike me as... well, a little shady. Do we really know where his loyalties lie? We just have to be careful.”

Fair? 

What ABOUT this is fair?!

Hazel’s arms shook. Nico looked to Percy and Annabeth, hoping he could somehow see him. Do something. Say something, shit, just say one damn thing! He waited. He waited for them to speak. Say one word, just one simple word, coming to his defense. That’s all he needed. It’s all it took. Because…. they were his friends. Well, they could be. If they wanted to. If they wanted him. If he wanted him.

Nothing. 

They said nothing. 

What a hopeless case, a warm voice purred. How unfortunate, Nico di Angelo. Even your friends have abandoned you.

Suddenly, the mess hall was gone. Nico was swimming in a sea of darkness, becoming one with the shadows until there was nothing at all. He didn’t even try to fight it this time. 

He didn’t realize he could hate himself more. 

                                                     ********************

Nico was growing tired of waking up in the same jar. 

He was right in the beginning. This really was just some sick punishment. He didn’t even try to fight for breaths this time. Just sat there, leaning against the glass. He could hear muffled voices outside. The giants were standing outside the jar, laughing and joking about him like he was an animal on display— which he essentially was. 

Just keep on laughing. It’s what I’m used to.

He’d figured out the identities of his captors. Otis and Ephialtes— children of Poseidon. What a sick joke. Apparently, sons of Poseidon had a meeting where they all agreed to make Nico’s life as miserable as possible. Break him down until he’s nothing at all. 

But that statement couldn’t be true. He was already nothing. 

And he wished he could say that no one could break him more than he already broke himself, or say something along the lines of I was born broken. But he wasn’t. Once upon a time he wasn’t an empty husk and the universe decided to slowly chip away at his very essence. And for some reason, Nico decided to let it happen and go along with it. Living for the hope of it all until there was none left to look forward to. All he could do now was look backward into a past that he wanted to forget and yet found himself living in it because as much as he wanted to escape it, the thought of leaving it behind was utterly incomprehensible. 

The sands of time are away at him, pushing and pulling, trapping him in an endless maze where instead of Pasiphaë breathing life into it, it was the only thing someone like him could dare believe in. What was he if not the things he’d gone through? 

It was the only proof that Nico di Angelo was an actual living person.

Five pomegranate seeds lay at his feet. The next one he ate, it would be halfway to July first. What’s the point?

They wouldn’t be coming for him. 

They left him to die in Rome.

There wasn’t a single person alive who cared enough to bring him home. Wherever home was. He was a homeless child drifting through the world alone. 

That was his birthright. The darkness, not the light. 

His stomach throbbed even harder than he thought it could. His skin was green and covered with bruises. He definitely smelled, his breath was a mix of bile and plaque. He hadn’t interacted with an actual person in days. If not for the seeds he would’ve gone insane… if he really was sane at all. Considering he wasn’t seeing any spiders or hearing any voices, it could’ve been worse. 

Tears fell from his eyes and onto his hands. He licked them and groaned with delight. The closest thing to water or moisture in days.

Water. I need more water.

He hadn’t considered what he learned at Westover Hall to ever come in handy, but he remembered a story of a man trapped in solitary confirment and survived by licking the condensation of the walls. Or was it Minos who told him? He was no stranger to starvation but never to this extent. He managed to lick some of the moisture and soothe his screaming tongue. 

But the water didn’t help with the suffocation. In fact, his throat was constricting and he clawed at his neck, wishing he could rip it off. 

He forced himself to take the next seed, hoping he’d never wake up.

                                                      ********************

Niccolo.

Caro Niccolo.

That voice. Someone he couldn’t quite remember but badly wanted to. Someone lost to the backwash of the River Lethe. She sounded so gentle, so kind. Someone like that couldn’t have existed since…

Niccolo! She sounded shocked. Pleading. 

Nico choked back a sob as he listened to the far off voice, “Mama?”

He felt a presence in front of him. Niccolo, she repeated. The voice felt closer now. She was coming closer.

Nico was floating in a dark haze. He felt weightless, or maybe he was weightless. He swam through the darkness, using it to move his skeletal limbs. The darkness was his birthright, the very thing Maria di Angelo fell in love with.

Niccolo, she sounded stern now. Il mio dolce ragazzo, Niccolo. 

“MAMA!” He screamed. “I-I’m right here, Mama!” 

He’d always had a mental block from thinking about his mother. Possibly from the waters of the accursed river. He couldn’t even miss her or yearn for her touch. He only thought of her in dreams. Those horrible, horrible dreams. He knew nothing about her and somehow knew so much. She always told him he had a good heart, and he had to guess that’s where he knew. 

Oh, Niccolo!

Warm hands held his face, stroking it gently and wiping his tears. The last person who wiped his tears, reveled in comforting his pain, was Bianca. He couldn’t see it, but he held onto her warm, firm hands. He’d forgotten what her touch felt like. He’d forgotten what love felt like. He sobbed, gripping her so hard he swore he left fingernail marks in her hand. 

“Mama…” he choked, “You’re…. You’re really here.”

Oh mio bambino, il mio povero povero bambino. Mi displace tanto, tesoro.” She sounded like she was trying not to sob herself. Perché sei qui?!

Italian, that far off language. He hadn’t spoken it with anyone in decades, but hearing it made it sound like it was just only yesterday. He couldn’t speak it, but he could understand. Love knew no bounds or barriers. And yet he had no idea what to say, even in English. 

“Mama, I love you so much.” Those words were so simple, but could explain so much. 

She shook her head. Oh, Nico. You can’t even speak our language…. what have they done to you, Niccolo?

“Mama, please don’t be upset. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he continued to cry. “Bianca, she-”

I know, my son. I never got to say goodbye to our Bianca, she stroked her hands through his silky hair, the hair she always prided as being fine and lovely to brush. She said it came from Nonna, who died shortly after he was born. But I don’t want to say goodbye to you. It is not your time yet. You must go back.

“Go back? Go back to where? Italy? Our… our home?”

You mustn’t stay here. I’m sorry, but you must leave me. I must leave you. I was never meant to spend much time with you. The fates know this. It isn’t fair, but it’s the way it must be. 

“No. I… I can’t!”

Go back. 

“No!” He exclaimed. 

She sighed, Goodbye, my son. We will meet again someday.

She dissapeared. His mother was gone. Nico stood in the darkness, wondering if this was even real or some trick from the earth goddess. But there was an ache in his bones for Italy, the homeland. And he was there. Maybe he was meant to come there. Or maybe returning to the past was a curse, ushering in his worst memories. He sobbed so hard he felt bile rush up his throat. 

“Ugh!” He groaned. Another tear spilled. “Mom…”

He said the last word with no particular conviction, or meaning. The word in of itself was enough. He couldn’t shake the amount of wonder and the amount of sadness that overtook him, and he wasn’t sure if he was in a dream, in a jar, in Rome, in Venice, or back inside of himself.

Ah, what a sad mortal specimen, a motherly voice whispered as she clicked her tongue. At least, a voice that should be motherly. It reminded him more of an evil witch from the fairytales Mama read him and Bianca. Nico burned with hatred. If he had the power, he would’ve pinned her down to the skies.

Nico sniffed and wiped his tears. “Gaea. What are you doing here?”

Paying my prisoner a visit, she snickered. I thought you’d be entertained by some misery, but I see that you don’t need my help. Akhlys realized that long before I did. I guess that’s an oversight on my part. 

“Yeah. I guess it is,” His voice rang with bitterness. “You want me to humor you? Go ahead. Try me. I’m not afraid of you.” After everything, he didn’t think he could fear anything anymore.

Oh, I don’t have to. You’re better off on your own, anyway. And your mortal friends realized that as well.

“I don’t have any friends. No need to remind me.” 

But you still forget sonetimes. Like when you had hope that Percy would come for you.

His heart jumped. “He’s not my keeper.” He was veering dangerously close to his secret now. One wrong turn…

You’re right. He is not yours, he is that foolish daughter of Athena’s. And much trouble awaits her in Rome. You’ll see if you live long enough to find out. 

“Rome? They’re still going to Rome? But I thought-”

Of course they are. Do you really think the seven make good decisions? As wise as Annabeth is, she is no wiser than your idiot captors. And from her hubris, she will fall. She is chasing the mark of Athena, the symbol that led to the death of her siblings. 

“The Mark of Athena…” he muttered. It sounded familiar. 

It leads to the mother of spiders, the bane of Athena. No one has ever faced the weaver and lived. 

“Annabeth will.” He chose to have hope in one thing, and that thing was her. “If you seriously think she’ll lose to a dumb weaver, you’ve got another thing coming.”

She may prevail, yes. But one misstep, one very long fall.

All of Nico’s air was vacuumed out of his lungs. He could almost feel the pit from beneath his feet, feel the blistering air and the broken glass, take in the fire through his nostrils and see the blood cells floating through the air.

“No. Not-”

Of course, my forces would kill her almost instantly. Like I commanded them to do with you. Without that Percy by her side-

“You can’t kill him!” He growled.

I have no choice, son of Hades. Sacrifices must happen to wake me from my slumber. Of course, I can let him live. For a price.

“Nope. I’m not listening to you. Anyone but you.”

She sighed in annoyance, the most human thing she’d ever done. How could you even side with them? Your sister was killed on that foolish quest. The hunters of Artemis use people and you know this is the most. Your father barely gives you the time of day. And Zeus? Look what he did to that poor woman.

“Her name was Maria Di Angelo,” he choked back more tears. “And she was my.. my mother.”

She chuckled. Your Mama. I was watching you.

“Was she-”

Yes. She was real. You are dying, Nico di Angelo. This was the only way she was able to reach you. She didn’t use the chance to escape Elysium. For some reason, she was content on leaving you alone.

He wished he could protest, but he had no reservations inside him anymore. He could feel his life threads leaving him.

You are a liability unto yourself, too dangerous to be kept alive. I hope you understand why we put you here, we cannot risk your friends learning about the doors. My husband cannot risk being awoken from his slumber. The primordial of the pit can be very temperamental. If you think I’m dangerous, you have no clue what my husband is capable of. But I deal with him, as is family. Just like your sister dealt with you. 

He shivered. Even being in the place almost shattered his sanity more than the jar ever could. He could still feel the heat and his bones throbbing in pain, the thumping of the cage between his ribs. He’d seen Tartarus without his veil, without the fickle borders of the mist. It would haunt him more than any ghost. He was only a foreign object in a body, a parasite unto his mind. And monsters were only cogs in the machine. 

I cannot bring your family back, but I have a better option for you. I could ensure Percy’s survival in the new world. You and him. Not to promise that his other friends would make it, after all I do need two sacrifices. Just one word. One tear falling down your pretty cheek, any gesture indicating the wish for your friend to live. And your wish would be granted. You could live forever with him in Venice. You could be freed from your endless jail. And Percy would be spared from my wrath.

Nico swallowed down any semblance of hesitation or consideration. “Not a chance, Gaea.”

Then you will die here, she said matter of factly. 

“I know,” he grumbled. “Just leave me, I get the point.”

She clicked her tongue, Really? No sounds of protest? I was expecting more bravado. How can you be so willing to lay down your sword?

“I’ve accepted my fate. I don’t need you to rub it in. Just do it already,” he squeezed his eyes shut. “If I’m too dangerous, just do it.”

I would, but, unfortunately, my sons enjoy seeing you suffer. Enjoy death, my miserable child. Someday, we will meet again.

                                                       ********************

His sword was gone.

He’d been hallucinating this whole time. 

He didn’t even react, just took the next seed, hoping it was poisoned, regretting ever taking them from Persephone’s garden.

                                                         ********************

He knelt upon the broken glass of Tartarus and stared upon the goddess of misery. Bob had told him that this was the way to the death most, the only way he’d ever make it through the Doors. But he had no resolve left. He just sobbed in her presence. She was another reminder of how hopeless the world was, of how much rage and sadness a goddess could take. He wanted to claw at his cheeks as well. More than he already had during his worst moments of agony.

He didn’t need any death mist to look more like a corpse. Though his clothes had miraculously stayed in one piece, the ends of his silky black hair were burned and his eyes were tired, forgetting what sunlight ever looked like. He forgot the last time he slept, and was afraid to even close his eyes. He’d somehow averted the crises of Gaea’s forces, hordes of endless monsters and curses commanded to come his way. But he was still badly bruised and bleeding, infected cuts congregating up his legs and having a party. 

Every breath he took was a miracle. He was alive. Somehow alive. Akhlys led him to the cliff above Chaos itself, the border between the darkness of the goddess Nyx and the primordial soup of which was her father. He could feel the air getting thinner, a chill going over him, and his oxygen being dragged into the pit. He was supposed to get the death mist. He was supposed to pass between.

This was his only chance to escape Otis and Ephialtes, never off his trail.

His only chance to save Percy and Hazel, undergo this journey so they wouldn’t have to. Maybe he’d be accepted, finally. All he had to do was go through literal Hell.

But Akhlys smiled. It was worse than seeing her claw at her own flesh, trying to destroy the ichor going through her veins. “Child of Hades, what more could I do to you? You are perfect! So much sorrow and pain!”

The primordial turned into Bianca di Angelo, standing in a crowded train station. She looked nervous for some reason, darting her eyes around each weary and exhausted passerby as if they were a potential threat, for reasons the seven year old Nico could not understand. She held a hastily packed bag in her one hand and Nico’s hand and trust in the other. Mama stood guard in front of them, looking glamorous as usual, Ruby red lipstick and pearl necklaces.

“Where are we going, Mama?” Nico asked.

Bianca scowled. “Niccolo, we told you a hundred times. We’re going to America.”

“Why?”

Mama wiped a tear coming down her cheek. Nico realized it was the first time he ever saw Mama cry. He hated seeing Mama cry. 

“Because it’s where your father says we would be safest,” She looked away from the children and grumbled, “For some reason.”

“Father?!” Nico’s eyes gleamed.

Different visions followed, none of them making much sense. A priest skinning a lamb with seven eyes at the altar. Thalia Grace sharpening a dagger, on the porch of an old 1940s hotel. An elder nymph woman, heavily pregnant, sobbing in the front of the Big House. An old newsreel at a movie theater, flashing pictures of the war, and then the Battle of Manhattan. Conjoined twins of Nico and Percy, hastily sewn together at the hips. They were both in pain, glaring at the screen helplessly. A doctor scribbled on a clipboard. This isn’t how it’s meant to be. But then he stared directly at Nico. But this is what you want.

This is what you want.

Ella rocking back and forth, sewing a bloody handkerchief. The fall of the sun, the final verse. Storm or fire, the world must fall.

Octavian stabbing a teddy bear that changed into a tiny stuffed Nico replica. Blood spilled out of his guts but Nico kept smiling and smiling and smiling because he could feel the blood and he deserved to bleed and

                                                    ************************

Nico gasped, which was a bad thing to do in a jar with no air. His throat stung with the might of several thousand killer bees (which was an understatement), and his face felt so heavy it was about to explode. His eyes burned with tears that no Okay existed, tears that had dried themselves. He couldn’t even will himself to lift up his hand or even open his eyes all the way.

He felt his body leaving him. He no longer felt much pain or any hunger or thirst. He smelled like piss. His bowels had just stopped working. 

He was actually dying.

This was it. No one was going to save him.

Hope was a useless emotion, something that he used to know, something that used to be very familiar with him, but it slowly worked it’s way away from him, disappointing him again and again and again and again. The ultimate betrayal but the most inevitable. It was a fact of life, a fact of his life.

His past life.

Niccolo.

Nico dared himself to move his tired eyes to try seeing outside the jar. 

“Mama..” he mumbled. “ Help… please..”

Maria di Angelo cocked her head to the side, wearing a charred black dress burned at the bottoms. Her eyes were cold and dead, just a portal of black in which what used to be her sockets. Electricity coarsed through her veins and the lightning of Zeus could be traced, the exact strike that killed her. Half of her face was molten tissue and blood dripped from her lips, still done over in lipstick. 

Look at what he’s done to me, she said. Look at how that foolish god took me away from you, my son. 

“Y-you’re…. you’re not real…” he gasped. Even her form was starting to dissipate and melt like snow in the late winter.

Your time is almost up, Niccolo. You weren’t meant to live seven decades ago and you still aren’t meant to live now. 

Nico reached for her, but she wasn’t there anymore. She changed into Bianca, wearing the new outfit she got from Zoë when she joined the hunters. The crown just like Artemis and the silver coat. Like Mama, lightning traced its away through her burned body, and one of her eyes hung out of its sockets like a loose slingshot. But unlike Mama, she was crying, and she glared at Nico with anger. 

“Bianca… h-help…”

She shook her head, No, Nico. There is no help for you anymore. She snapped her fingers. It’s time for you to go.

Nico grabbed his throat and doubled over, falling into a coughing fit. Blood spilled onto the floor of the jar, dripping down towards his feet. He clawed at it, hoping he would somehow rip his neck off and mangle his vocal cords. This only made the breathing harder. There was truly no air left.

Breathe slowly, he thought to himself, don’t waste your breath.

But your very breath is a waste, he finished. 

He shoved the next pomegranate into his mouth, expecting to fall back into a trance. The air indeed became warmer and easier to breathe in. But Bianca stayed in front of him, just watching, staring, waiting for him to die. She pursed her lips, getting impatient. He noticed that Bianca was standing in a church, at an altar, in a priest’s outfit. She held a chalice of blood.

Bianca chuckled. Watch where you’re standing, Nico di Angelo.

Nico looked down at his feet and gasped. A pile of dried bones caked with dust. He wouldn’t be surprised if they were his. Surrounding them was a puddle of dried blood.

“What the-!”

This is what happens to sinners like you, though Bianca didn’t sound like Bianca anymore. Her voice was crispy, like nails against a chalkboard or the howl of a banshee. 

He wished he could say it was a dream. But he no longer could discern what was real and what wasn’t. It was all the same nightmare he’d ended up in, if it even mattered at all. He would join the party of bones and skulls at his feet, the faceless ghosts in the fields of asphodel or a tortured soul in Hell.

You’re dying, Bianca said, with no reservation.

“I noticed.”

Are you okay with that? Bianca asked.

He shrugged. I guess. 

She turned around. Okay, then.

                                                      ********************

He didn’t know how many pomegranates were left or if it even mattered. He didn’t know if it was day or night or evening or if they were even things that mattered because he was tired. So tired. And cold. 

Mama held out her hand. Are you ready, Niccolo?

He nodded, Yes. I’m ready.

She smiled. Seventy years. I’ve been waiting for seventy years.

Me too. 

He took her hand and held onto it firmly. Nothing mattered. He was finally finished. And they we’re finally together again.  

They started down the next path after he took the last pomegranate.

                                                     ********************

For a moment there was nothing.

No air, no pain, no suffering, no light. No happiness nor sadness. 

Just darkness.

The howling of ghosts. The cries of the damned. The warmth of his mother.

Was it minutes? Days? Years? Centuries? That wasn’t even a concept. Time simply didn’t exist anymore wherever Nico was. Though there wasn’t any Nico anymore. He’d become one with the dark.

He could stay there forever. If forever even coexisted with the nothing.

And then. There was light.

CRASH.

                                                   ********************

Nico was unsure what exactly happened, but he was out of the jar.

The floor he was on felt different, colder. A backwash of clean air ran over him, which was terrifyingly relieving. The hamster wheel in his chest started running again and several volts of electricity started him back to life. He could tell there was light, as warmth rushed over his face. Someone was standing over him, and he smelled terrible. His bones were solid and yet felt like helium.

Was I dead? 

He didn’t know if he wanted to find out. 

The first thought was for Mama. Where’s my Mama? But the affection and memories he had of her were hazy again. 

There were people. They were talking. He could comprehend the words, Leo, Hazel, and Frank. And someone else talking.

Jason? Percy?

He shuddered. It occured to him that he could move his bones again. His muscles throbbed, his nerves transmitted messages. Someone had sent him the memo that he was in a human body, an actual human body. But the sudden reality of simply being made him itch and suffocate. 

“……plus, we could do some dance moves as we’re escaping…..”

That voice was familiar. Warm. He couldn’t put his finger on it.

It didn’t matter. He started to crawl away, groaning. His knees almost collapsed and buckled under the weight of his body, his joints ached and shook. He opened his eyes slightly, seeing blurry figures, but shutting them promptly as he saw light. It was painful, gouging his eyes out like daggers. He flickering and out of consciousness, trying to control his heart rate and force his lungs to work again. He took in the air, almost choking on it.

If this was another trick, it was cruel. But something told him it wasn’t. 

There was bantering in the background. It again sounded suspiciously like Percy.

And then there was flaming hot, the feeling of fire. He heard growling. The bearer of the warm voice was then in front of him, shooting a… cornucopia?

Okay, if this was a dream, it would make a lot of sense. Because he was pretty sure there were giants in ballet outfits, hydras, leopards, and his unfortunate crush fighting with a guy who wanted to leave him to die. And why does it smell like fire and pot roast? Though he definitely didn’t feel hunger anymore, he could eat some pot roast.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The warm hands dragged him across the room, picking him up bridal style. The sounds of bags throbbed at his eardrums. His senses flickered back to life as he got used to the sound. 

Nico looked up at the girl. She had tan skin and choppy brown hair, a cut across her face, and deep brown eyes. He’d never met her before, but she seemed nice enough. One of the only people ever actually determined to save him.

And then they both fell, which definitely shocked him awake.

“CRUD!” The girl yelled. She grabbed her shoulder, groaning. It was already turning a suspicious shade of purple. 

“PIPER!” Jason yelled.

Something happened in between, but threads were already pulling him like yarn back to the darkness. But it was getting easier to stay lucid.

BOOM!

A flash of pink. The collapsing of a roof. Nico sat up, holding the side of his head and looking at the sight around him. Which was pink fire, a collapsed roof, angry giants, and Percy Jackson with a singed shirt, holding riptide. What the… Jason Grace, his face full of cuts, touched Piper’s arm. 

Piper yelped, “Fine! I’m fine.”

“…….. what…….” Nico groaned.

“Oh, good,” Piper sighed in relief. “Welcome to the party, Di Angelo.”

“Hi?” He rasped. “Do I.. do I know you?”

Piper opened her arm to answer but immediately doubled over in pain. Her arm looked like it had been bent like a plastic ruler. Nico concluded that he’d seen her in his dreams before. She was Jason’s girlfriend. Wait, why are Jason and Percy here?

“J-Jason?” Nico stammered. 

He nodded. His eyes were filled with concern and fear, but surprisingly no judgement. “Hey, Nico. Long time no see.”

“You…. You too?” He coughed. Even the act of speaking was exhausting. 

Jason wrapped his arm around him. “Are you alright?”

He nodded. “I… I think so…” his eyes fixed on the end of the room where a bronze jar was. He realized he’d been trapped in there. For an entire week. He’d rejoined the human race. He let himself lean against Jason, for once not caring about touch. It was proof that he was alive. 

“JASON!” Percy shouted. “The controls!”

“On it!”

Jason ran after him, and Nico realized the two had become friends. Piper still layed on the ground next to him, unable to get up. But Nico only watched Percy and Jason in bewilderment. Otis and Ephialtes, his former captors, pointed their swords at the sons of Poseidon and Jupiter. They were injured. They couldn’t fight for much longer. Percy, Jason. If he could fight, he would run after him. But he was in a much worse state than they were.

The reality around Nico flickered. He was unsure if his brain simply short circuited or if he disassociated or fell asleep or what, but suddenly, he and Piper were sitting in a .. no… the Colosseum. There were props, a lake, and ditches. He was sandwiched between a god smelling of kool aid and Piper, her shoulder being tended to by a nymph in a nurse outfit. Another nymph sprayed perfume over him and spoon fed him ambrosia and nectar, taking off his jacket and wrapping his wounds in gauze, wiping off his blood, and muttering, “Oh Gods almighty, you smell.”

He looked down at his hands and moved his fingers. He was shocked at how skinny and frail they were. He looked like a prisoner of war in those pictures. Which, he essentially was. But looking at his poisoned veins was enough to prove that he was a person, after all.

He was alive. 

Percy, Jason, and Piper had saved him. 

Nico knew that they didn’t do anything out of the goodness of their hearts. They needed him for the prophecy and to find out about the doors. Whether Percy actually cared or not, he was unsure. But they saved him, after all. Fighting for their lives when they didn’t have to. 

He was alive. He was actually alive. 

And he didn’t know whether that was more depressing than the time he spent in the jar or not. Maybe a reasonable person would be more excited, but Nico was not reasonable. He missed the feeling of darkness that he couldn’t remember anymore.

Piper glanced at him. “Are you alright?”

“Wh-what’s going on?” Nico groaned. He gripped the edges of his seat. “Where am I?”

Piper pointed at the arena. “Well, they’re putting on a show to prove to Bacchus that they are worthy partners to defeat Otis and Ephialtes. Oh, and we’re in the Colosseum.”

“ The Colosseum?”

Piper nodded. “Yeah. You’re pretty out of it, huh?”

Nico nodded. It was a miracle his sanity hadn’t been shattered completely. Before he could say anything, Piper handed him a flask of water.

“Here, Nico. You need to drink.”

Nico picked it up and chugged it. Immediately, he wanted to cry tears of relief. The feeling of the Sahara desert disappeared and his pain was soothed. He could drink it forever, but Piper took it away gently. Nico fought and tried to grab it, tried to slash his hands at her throat, but she shook her head.

“No, Nico. You can’t.”

“Why… more-”

“You need to breathe.” Piper looked like she was about to lose her nerve from concern. “A lot of victims of starvation drink too much water too quickly. It could kill you.”

Nico almost laughed. It could kill you. Yeah, after being in the jar, nothing could kill him at that point. The gods somehow kept choosing to let him live, which was starting to get very annoying. But he chose to listen to Piper. He almost trusted her, which came as a surprise. She already seemed like a very kind soul. Almost like Bianca if she grew to be that age. 

He wished he could’ve been impressed by the Colosseum. When he was younger, he was obsessed with the gladiators Nonno told him about, preaching about the legacy of Ancient Rome. And during those boring months in the DC hotel, he and Bianca devoured History books despite them having a hard time discerning each letter.

 “You… you guys actually came for me,” he heaved. 

“I couldn’t leave Hazel’s brother behind,” Piper said, gently. “She’s worried sick about you.”

“Hazel….” He felt guilty that he hadn’t thought of her. “Where is she? Where’s my sister?”

Piper frowned. “She, Leo, and Frank were tasked in finding your location. But they’re….” Her voice cracked. “They’re missing. But I know they’re alive. They gotta be.” Piper gripped the hull of her dagger. 

Nico wished he could feel something from that. But he couldn’t. He just nodded. “Okay. And Annabeth?”

Piper looked even more desolate. “She’s… she’s trying to find the Athena Parthenos. All on her own.” Her voice cracked. “But I know that she’s alive too.”

“The Mark of Athena…” he muttered.

Piper jumped. “How do you know about that?”

Nico shrugged. “Dreams…” he shuddered. “Don’t ask me about them. Please.”

“Wasn’t gonna.” The way Piper said that, Nico could tell that she too suffered from them.

Piper started to tell Nico about the details of their journey as the fight kept going. It turned out that Leo accidentally bombed Camp Jupiter after getting possessed by eidolons and because of this, the Romans wanted to kill all of the Greeks and the gods suffered from divine D.I.D. Hazel, being Hazel, befriended a camp of fish people under the sea and met fish-Chiron, Piper buried Hercules under a mountain of food, and Percy conned a bunch of pirates by saying he was sponsored by Bacchus. And apparently the Atlanta museum is ruled by titans.

Percy had really survived and gone this far. He was always handsome, but goddamn. The effortless way that he held his sword and held his own, the way he summoned water, even without the Curse of Achilles, he’d become much stronger. And of course, the mixed feelings of gravel and ice came to the surface. He saved him, but he originally wanted to fight against it. He overlooked him, but was always the hero anyway.

And Jason. He was kind, heroic, and looked more like a son of Venus than a son of Jupiter. He really was everybody’s golden boy. But his true personality was hid under miles and miles and miles of bubble wrap. How much did he really trust him? Were he and Percy just using him like all the others?

He didn’t feel like a human. He was a ghost, watching from the outside.

He liked Piper. He really did. But he found it so hard to keep paying attention as the fight raged, and Piper realized the same thing. Plus, his heart was struggling to keep his starving body alive. A satyr offered him a bag of Doritos and even eating one was a struggle of the ages. So he didn’t notice Piper yelping whenever Jason got injured.

He also didn’t notice that a gigantic warship had landed on the field. 

There were Frank and Hazel (thank gods), Leo Valdez, and the tiny satyr. Hazel looked exhausted, though she never showed it. She met Nick’s eyes, but he gave her a look. We will talk later. But looking at his sister broke his heart. Otis and Ephialtes were also gone, and apparently, so was Bacchus. He stood on the floor of the arena. Nico hoped that his fading-from-consciousness problem would stop bothering him soon. 

Piper grinned. “Thank the gods!” She grabbed Nico’s hand, “Come on! Let’s go say hi to our friends!”

Nico didn’t really think these were the priorities she should have after saving the literal war prisoner, but they struggled down the emperor's box. Nico could still walk, though every act of bending his knees made him feel like they were about to snap in half. 

“You might try the parking lot behind the Emmanuel Building,” Bacchus said. “Best place to break through. Now, good-bye, my friends. And, ah, good luck with that other little matter.” The god vaporized in a cloud of mist that smelled faintly of grape juice.

Jason ran up to meet Piper and Nico. “Are you guys okay?” He exclaimed.

Piper nodded. “Yeah.”

“Your arm-” Jason touched it. Piper winced and he let go. “Sorry.”

“It’s been better, but,” she grabbed his hand. “It’s fine.”

Piper and Jason looked so easy together that Nico was desolate. He looked around, having to cling on Piper’s shoulder from how weak he was. Percy was chatting with Leo, Hazel, Frank, and the satyr. He suddenly felt shy. He felt like he existed on a different plane of existence from them. What was there to say after everything he’d been through?

Jason looked at Nico. “Nico, uh…. Hey.”

“Hey.” Nico croaked. 

“Y-Yeah,” Jason scratched the back of his head. “I did.” The last line stung of metal.

They stared at each other. Just like Percy, Nico was the common thread between both of their lives. He’d hid the existence of both camps. He felt guilty, but more so just bad for himself. He knew he’d never forgive or trust him. So all he could do was feel resentment. But then there was the underlying desire to please him that existed since he met him. The possibility of a friendship, belonging… how could that even exist for him? How could anything exist?

He looked around him. Seventy years ago, a war had raged in this continent. The war that took him out of his home country and the bombs that fell. He, Mama, and Bianca left in a hurry at Father’s request. It started this entire mess. He never thought he’d actually be back in Italy, his homeland. But even his actual home would never be home for him. Because it would always be a reminder of how he got there.

His head felt like it was swimming with the fishes. The scenery around him spun like horses on a carousel. He grabbed onto Piper tightly. Piper looked down at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing, I just…” he was interrupted when his knees melted into puddles. Piper yelped as she caught him.

“Nico! Are you okay?”

He couldn’t answer. He could barely even stand. Jason wrapped his arm around his waist and looked at Piper urgently. 

“We need to get him food and water.” She said grimly.

“Of course. And then, he can tell us about the Doors.” He smiled at Nico, “Welcome to the Argo II, man. Glad you could join us.”

                                                        ********************

Reuniting with Hazel was much easier than expected.

He thought she would yell at him. Or that neither of them would know what to say. What did they even have in common anymore? Hazel was a loyal soldier, the other was a liar, a hero, a villain, and a thief. He wouldn’t blame her for smiting him as soon as they crossed paths. 

But instead, Hazel burst into tears and gave him a hug. And Nico, blinking out his own, wrapped his arms around her in return. And a silent reconciliation occured between the two of them, and he could feel Hazel let go of all resentment. She wasn’t Bianca and would never be, but he was so glad to have Hazel Levesque in his life. Grudges may be the fatal flaw of children of Hades, but she was his most important strength. 

Hazel cupped his face. “Y-You’re… you’re alive!” She choked. “And you’re safe!” She hugged him again. “I-I was so worried about you and I-I have your sword and-”

“Don’t cry, sis.” Nico let go of the hug. “Besides, I have to thank you. Y-You… you saved me.” 

Hazel wiped his tear. “I had to! You’re my brother. And…. That jar…”

Nico tried not to snap. Even thinking about that horrible torture made his stomach drop forty feet. He squeezed her hand. “Hazel, there’s so much I h-have to…” he doubled over. Hazel caught him.

“Not now, Nico,” she whispered gently. “You need to sit,” she glared at Piper. “Piper! Ambrosia and nectar! Now!”

Nico wanted to protest, but he was in no condition. Hazel and Piper guided him to the stern as the other members of the seven congratulated each other. Not many acknowledged him, except for a content nod from Frank. The ship began to fly as Leo Valdez pulled a lever. And Hazel started to feed him ambrosia before he pushed her away. 

“Hazel, I had some at the Colosseum. More and I’ll explode.” He forced a smile.

She frowned. Piper had told him all that she did on the voyage, and he suddenly felt guilty for the gravity of his exhaustion. The confused way she looked at Leo, and the resentful way she looked at Jason, stuff had definitely happened on the voyage. She was obviously worried for Annabeth. And of course, dealing with the aftermath of everything that happened on her journey. This amazing demigod faced death herself. She fought against Polybotes. All in one week. That made Tartarus look like a walk through Central Park on a nice day.

“Thanatos, huh?”

Hazel smiled, “Why do you even want to hear my news? You’re who I’m worried about. I missed you.”

“B-But you freed death. You're alive. I was so worried..” his voice broke. He quickly took a sip of water to soothe his overexertion of his vocal cords. “Thanatos let it slide. You made me proud.”

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t think I can speak to Dad about it, but, I’m glad I’m alive. And with Frank.”

He smiled, “I heard something about him being a weasel?”

“Yeah. He’s a shapeshifter.”

Hazel began to talk about the kindness of the crew. Leo’s intelligence, Percy and Piper’s kindness, even Jason’s leadership. As a daughter of Pluto, she was never accepted at Camp Jupiter. Not really. He was happy for her, but he felt like he was kneeling before Akhkys, feeling no hope that things would ever go right for him again.

Hazel’s expression went dark. “But I can’t talk about this now. Nico, the doors,” Hazel started. “I’m sorry, I wish I could start with something else, but everyone needs to know where they are. And the prophecy says you hold the key to endless death…”

Nico shuddered, “Hazel, I can’t. Not now.”

Hazel nodded, “Okay.” But he could tell she was trying to mask her annoyance.

Nico looked at Percy. He saved him without even breaking a sweat. Nico felt even more weary and his energy was zapped away. 

“Thank you for protecting him,” Nico whispered. “You did good.”

“More like he protected me,” Hazel blushed. “But yeah. Percy’s really cool.”

“Yeah. He really is.” Nico frowned, “I’m sorry, sis.”

“For what?”

“For failing you. You had to go all the way here-”

“I saved you because I wanted to!” She exclaimed. “Don’t talk about yourself like that!”

“I know it was all for the prophecy, Hazel-”

“Well I did it for you.”

“You shouldn’t. Gods, Hazel. You shouldn’t.” He coughed, “I failed you. I failed in my mission. I failed you, I failed Percy, Frank, Jason-”

“But you didn’t! And I don’t care what they think. I don’t care what anyone on this ship thinks!” 

“Remember what I… the doors of death. One side’s in the underworld. The other side is in the mortal world. The mortal side is in Epirus, Greece. Otis and Ephialtes took me out of there and took me to Rome. The mortal side is heavily guarded by Gaea’s forces. But the mortal side isn’t the problem.” Nico squeezed Hazel’s hand. He was rasping, could barely even muster the courage or energy to speak, “Hazel… I could barely even…. I got so far, Hazel. But I was overwhelmed by Gaea’s forces. I.. the underworld, the darkness, even I couldn’t control it.”

Hazel shivered. “Nico, it’s okay, you don’t have to-”

“But I do. Because I failed, someone will have to go down there. And I don’t know… I don’t know if that’s possible,” He gasped. “The monsters… the river of fire…” 

Hazel’s eyes widened. In the midst of a congratulation session, Hazel and Nico could only hear the echoes of a pit and the screams of monsters. There was no empathy link, but they could both feel their stomachs drop and jump up and down. Skeletal demons stabbed at his stomach. 

“I know, Hazel. I have to tell the others.”

Hazel’s eyes were shattered glass. She understood. As children of Hades, they both understood the other’s sadness all too well. 

“Guys,” Hazel broke in. “I hate to interrupt your admiration session, but you should hear this.”

Hazel helped Nico to his feet. The crew of the Argo II went even more silent than the ghosts in the fields of Asphodel. Percy Jackson stood in front of all of them, and he wished he could say there was concern in his sea green eyes, but they were empty. The mischievous shine was gone, as well as the light. Grocery bags sat underneath his eyes and over his sunken cheeks. He was cut, bruised, covered in dirt, ash, and dust. This wasn’t a hero. This was a demigod that was hurt, embarassed, manipulated, humiliated. And Nico only helped the gods in their twisted game.

The closest thing he had to a friend, so much he wanted to say, so much they both wanted to say. But not now, not the time. 

“Thank you,” Nico rasped. He looked around the group nervously, hoping they wouldn’t kill him. “I’d given up hope.”

Percy, in his usual fashion, was the first one to speak.

“You knew about the two camps all along,” Percy said, sounding cold and empty like imperial gold. “You could have told me who I was the first day I arrived at Camp Jupiter, but you didn’t.”

Nico slumped against the helm. “Percy, I’m sorry. I discovered Camp Jupiter last year. My dad led me there, though I wasn’t sure why. He told me the gods had kept the camps separate for centuries and that I couldn’t tell anyone. The time wasn’t right. But he said it would be important for me to know...” 

He doubled over in a fit of coughing. Hazel held onto his shoulders until he could stand again. 

“I—I thought Dad meant because of Hazel,” Nico continued. “I’d need a safe place to take her. But now...I think he wanted me to know about both camps so I’d understand how important your quest was, and so I’d search for the Doors of Death.”

Electrons scattered in the air as Jason started throwing off sparks. Percy’s eyes widened and his arms went limp as a wet towel. “Did you find the doors?”

Nico nodded. “I was a fool. I thought I could go anywhere in the Underworld, but I walked right into Gaea’s trap. I might as well have tried running from a black hole.”

“Um...” Frank chewed his lip. “What kind of black hole are you talking about?”

Nico opened his mouth to speak, but his lungs failed him. Hazel touched his arm sisterly. In the next few minutes, they told the crew of the Argo II everything. Piper silently grabbed Jason’s hand as she stared at Nico with fear. Frank and Jason looked at each other glumly. Even Leo Valdez didn’t make a snarky remark or comment. Nico almost fell apart telling the group all of this. But he would fall apart permanently if he kept it from them. Just looking at them now, the possibility of any of them going to Tartarus made his stomach do multiple backflips. 

The worst of it was Percy. He couldn’t hide his shaking hands, or the empty look in his eyes. He didn’t even look scared. He looked sick, but couldn’t quite realize what exactly he should feel sick about. He wasn’t there, he was simply a shadow, a watcher. He almost reminded him of a faceless ghost, just as he thought he was. He never considered he would ever have common ground with Percy Jackson, but he never ceased to surprise him. 

Finally, Percy looked down, “We’ll figure out the Tartarus problem later,” he said. “Is that the Emmanuel Building?”

Leo nodded. “Bacchus said something about the parking lot in the back? Well, there it is. What now?”

He shrugged, “We have to get her out.”

“Well, yeah,” Leo agreed. “But, uh...” Nico and Hazel glanced at each other. If she was dead, they would’ve felt it. “There’s a parking lot in the way.” He finished.

Percy looked at the small satyr, which Nico learned was named Coach Hedge. “Bacchus said something about breaking through. Coach, you still have ammo for those ballistae?”

The satyr grinned like a wild goat. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Leo grinned like a madman at Nico and Hazel. “Hold on, guys! Coach Hedge is about to work his magic!”

Nico hoped he had enough life in him to be able to hold onto solid ground. He clenched the helm as he and Hazel held onto each other. He closed his eyes, and Boom. Coach Hedge pressed a few buttons, set a few levers, and the parking lot exploded. 

Piper pumped her fist, “Yes! Go Gleeson!”

Frank held his ears, “Does this have to be so loud ?”

Hazel glanced at Nico, “Yup, this is the satyr that’s been watching us. He’s supposed to be our responsible chaperone.”

Percy made no comments, just held onto the railing as the roof of the cavern collapsed, revealing a forty foot glittering statue of Athena, covered by a magical forcefield. Several Italian cars fell in, and a Fiat 500 almost crushed the statue, but unfortunately fell straight towards a person down below. Annabeth. Nico held his breath, something he never thought he’d do again, and he knew Percy did the same. But Annabeth jumped to one side, twisting her bad foot. Nico could hear her shrieks of pain from up in the sky. 

Nico almost prayed to his father, Please. Please let Annabeth live. If it’s my fault that she’d die… 

But Annabeth jumped just in time. The Fiat 500 fell right into Arachne’s lap and she tumbled down below, into a….. Nico had a sneaking suspicion that he knew where that went. He almost felt sorry for her. 

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Piper cheered.

“Annabeth!” Frank screamed. 

Percy screamed even louder, “ANNABETH!”

Annabeth looked up from the wreckage. She was kneeling, her bad leg wrapped in a splint, “Here!” she sobbed.

The Argo II descended to the parking lot. Nico didn’t think it would be his place to go down there, but Hazel helped him to his feet and led him to the latter, anyway. Annabeth needs the information about the doors, he realized. Nevertheless, he was having a hard time walking. He and Hazel were the last of the crew to descend while Coach Hedge stayed onboard. Nico could hardly stand the pitiful look he gave him.

When they arrived, Nico saw Annabeth staring at a pit down below. Nico felt a brotherly urge to drag her away, keep her from falling. She was more sane than Percy was, more of a drive to survive, but he didn’t want to lose another almost-friend to the madness. But Percy charged next to her, grabbing her hand and pulling her away from the pit. Nico realized that to him, she was the only person that mattered. Even more than himself. He wondered if Annabeth felt the same way about him, and part of him wished she didn’t. 

Annabeth buried her head in his chest and sobbed. Nico never felt so alone. But he shoved his feelings down, buried them into the pit where Arachne fell. He could hardly stand seeing Annabeth crying.

Percy guided Annabeth away, and smiled anxiously at the crew, tears in his eyes. Annabeth looked exhausted. Dust caked on the top of her head and scattered across her braids, but her gray eyes were as sparky and determined as ever, though bloodshot. She didn’t seem to register all of her friends around her, all of the concerned comments Frank and Jason gave. But Percy waved them away.

“She needs space. Let her talk, first.” He helped her sit down, still holding hands.

Nico’s black eyes pointed towards the pit. He could almost hear the cries of Akhlys and the screaming of monsters. Gaea’s voice from his dream echoed, chanting again and again. 

A one way trip, a very hard fall.

Annabeth’s fatal flaw would lead her there. Maybe Percy could protect her. He had to. If Nico couldn’t survive…

“Is that…” Hazel whispered.

Nico nodded. If not for Hazel, he would’ve been sucked in a second time.

“Come on, Nico. Let’s go say hi to Annabeth. And then… then we can talk about everything.”

Hazel and Nico joined Annabeth in the circle. Percy and Piper sandwiched themselves next to them, Piper looking just as concerned as Percy. Annabeth told them about the trials she experienced under Arachne. Her voice sounded like a shattered mirror, her tongue being stabbed repeatedly with the shards. But it came easier as she gained confidence, given to her after Percy held her hand. Nico was amazed. He didn’t expect anything less from the daughter of Athena.

“Gods of Olympus,” Jason said. He looked amazed. “You did all that alone. With a broken ankle.”

Annabeth chuckled, “Well...some of it with a broken ankle.”

Percy grinned. “You made Arachne weave her own trap? I knew you were good, but Holy Hera—Annabeth, you did it. Generations of Athena kids tried and failed. You found the Athena Parthenos!”

Everyone gazed at the statue.

“What do we do with her?” Frank asked. “She’s huge.”

“We’ll have to take her with us to Greece,” Annabeth said. “The statue is powerful. Something about it will help us stop the giants.”

“The giants’ bane stands gold and pale,” Hazel quoted. “Won with pain from a woven jail.” She looked at Annabeth with admiration. “It was Arachne’s jail. You tricked her into weaving it.”

Annabeth grimaced. Percy only squeezed her hand tighter. She was the only one unfazed by the praise. When doing the impossible, sometimes it doesn’t matter what you accomplished. It’s the difficulties that brought you there that make it impossible to remember the destination, only the journey that no one should ever have gone through. 

Leo raised his hands. He made a finger picture frame around the Athena Parthenos like he was taking measurements. “Well, it might take some rearranging, but I think we can fit her through the bay doors in the stable. If she sticks out the end, I might have to wrap a flag around her feet or something.”

“What about you guys?” she asked, changing the subject. “What happened with the giants?”

Percy explained the situation to Annabeth. Otis and Ephialtes, rescuing Nico, the bullshit of Bacchus. Nico couldn’t say much as Annabeth looked at him with sympathy. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t even at the center of his own rescue. Again, he was a ghost. The viewer in his own story, denied the right of personhood. 

“So the mortal side is in Epirus,” she said. “At least that’s somewhere we can reach.”

Nico grimaced. “But the other side is the problem. Tartarus.”

Tartarus. Even saying the word made him dizzy. Wind blew through the cavern as the echoes of the pit blasted through their eardrums. Everyone looked towards the cavern and Nico felt a sinking sensation even deeper than the cliff closest to Chaos. Instinctively, they all inched further from the edge. Nico noticed a train of spider silk trailing from Annabeth’s leg. He almost shouted, cut it. But he had an inkling that he shouldn’t. That something needed to happen. 

Percy cleared his throat, “Bacchus mentioned something about my voyage being harder than I expected. Not sure why—”

CRASH

The chamber groaned. The Athena Parthenos tilted, dangerously close to falling in the pit. It’s head got caught on one of Arachne’s support cables and it’s marble foundation was crumbling. The skeletal butterflies in Nico’s stomach did aerial gymnastics. 

A panicked thunderstorm grew in Annabeth’s gray eyes. “Secure it!”

Leo nodded. “Zhang! “Get me to the helm, quick! The coach is up there alone.”

Frank transformed into a giant eagle, and the two of them soared toward the ship. Hazel really wasn’t kidding about his new power. 

Jason wrapped his arm around Piper. He turned to Percy. “Back for you guys in a sec!” He summoned the winds and they flew towards the ship. 

“The floor won’t last! The rest of us should get to the ladder,” Hazel commanded. 

Nico couldn’t will himself to move. His heart was about to explode. Percy and Annabeth weren’t getting up yet. She was too injured. The thought of leaving Percy made him even more miserable than Akhlys. 

“Nico! Come on! We have to go!”

“No… Percy-”

“They'll be fine!” Hazel cried. “But we won’t if we don’t get up there!”

A one way trip. A very hard fall. He was frail, dying, starving, thirsty, injured, exhausted. But Percy was still down there. Nevertheless, he forced himself to walk, using his Stygian iron sword as a cane. His lungs were a car out of gas, just starting to work again. Meanwhile, grappling lines grabbed the Athena Parthenos and dragged it up to the ship.

As soon as he reached the latter, he was out of breath. But before he could ask Frank to hitch him a ride, he heard Annabeth yelp. When Nico looked, he saw Annabeth falling backward. 

“Her ankle!” Hazel shouted. “Cut it! Cut it! Help them!”

Nico got off of the ladder and hobbled towards Percy and Annabeth. But Percy was falling along with her. Hazel screamed for her friends above, but the rumbling of the cavern obscured her cries. 

“PERCY!” Nico screamed. He held out his hand. “Grab my hand! I can pull you!” He didn’t know how he could have the energy to scream. 

Annabeth sobbed as she hit the edge of the pit. Nico felt strength surge through him. Adrenaline he hadn’t had in months. He ran towards Percy, desperately trying to grab Riptide, but during his efforts, he fell over the edge.

“NO!” He screamed. 

He didn’t hesitate to lean over the edge, despite the momentous pull of the darkness dragging him in, if not for the solid ground. He could barely see Annabeth, but Percy barely held onto a ledge the size of a bureau. He was caked with dust, tears streaming down his cheeks from debris getting in his eye, and his hair was in tatters. But Nico thought he had never looked more handsome in his life. 

He held his hand over the edge, throbbing and begging for Percy to hold on. 

“PERCY! Grab my hand!” He gasped, “PERCY! COME ON!” Nico sobbed.

Percy not registering his presence, Annabeth muttered something from down below. 

“Never.” Percy replied. He looked up at Nico. “The other side, Nico! We’ll see you there. Understand?”

They locked eyes. Percy saw him for the very first time in what felt like an eternity. It was then that Nico realized what he was going to do. 

Nico’s eyes widened. “But—”

“Lead them there!” Percy shouted. “Promise me!”

For the first time in so long, Percy looked terrified. He couldn’t say no.

“I—I will.”

Percy looked down at Annabeth, the person he always chose. “We’re staying together,” he promised. “You’re not getting away from me. Never again.”

Annabeth nodded. “As long as we’re together.”

Time seemed to slow down and speed up simultaneously. Nico didn’t know why he bothered still screaming for help. It was hopeless. But he never made any sense when he was around Percy Jackson. 

And so he and Hazel watched as he and Annabeth fell into the endless darkness.

Promise me. I… I will.

“NICO!”

Hazel snapped him out of his daze. He would’ve stayed staring at that pit forever, debating on whether or not to jump in, if not for Hazel grabbing him and dragging him, bursting into a sprint. Within milliseconds, they jumped on the rope ladder as the floor collapsed, being encased and covered in rubble. It was like the pit never existed, nor any trace of Percy and Annabeth. The mortals would think it’s just an accident. 

Jason and Frank dove down to save them, but all that was left was Nico and Hazel on the rope ladder. He felt the Argo II ascend and the cavern getting further and further and further before the parking lot exploded. 

And Nico was still there. 

The other side, Nico, understand? Lead them there! Promise me!

I-I will.

                                                       *******************

“Are you sure you’re okay with sleeping up here?” Piper asked.

Nico nodded. “I’m sure. After being in the jar for so long… I need some fresh air. Closed spaces make  me nauseous.”

Piper was weary and hesitant. She’d given him a tour of the ship, introducing him properly to Coach Hedge, even offering him a place in Percy’s cabin. But he adamantly refused. He couldn’t stay there. Not when it smelled like Percy… the seaside on a summer day, salt water, blue birthday cake. 

“Alright,” Piper continued. “But you know that the offer still stands.”

Nico nodded again, “Thank you, Piper. Really.”

Piper smiled, “No problem, Nico. I’m glad to have you on board.”

Nico couldn’t answer. He couldn’t shake the feeling she was lying. He could tell most of the crew didn’t know what to make of him, acting uneasy around him. Leo looked like he was about to soil his underwear every-time he spoke. Even Frank’s eye twitched. But he didn’t have the strength or energy to fight her on it. Not when he was just gaining back the energy to do anything. 

“Do you really think… do you really think Percy and Annabeth will be alright?” She asked. 

Nico didn’t look into her eyes. “If they were dead, I would know.”

“Well I know they’ll survive. It’s Percy and Annabeth.”

“Right.”

“But will they be….. will they be okay? After….” Her voice broke. “Sorry. It’s just… Annabeth’s my best friend, Nico. I don’t know what I could do without her.”

Nico was heartbroken for her. She was especially close to Annabeth, he could see it in her eyes. Feelings towards her that she couldn’t explain and didn’t even want to, lest she become more wound up and restrained than the Athena Parthenos on it’s grappling hook. Every time Annabeth was mentioned, Piper could hardly contain herself. She reminded Nico of Silena, that other daughter of Aphrodite. She had died during the Battle of Manhattan and was one of the only people nice to him at Camp Half-Blood.

Again, Nico was asked to do the impossible. People seldom opened up to him, and he had the feeling that Piper was only because she was already in a vulnerable state. 

He looked to the sky. He thought he’d miss the sunlight, but it was too harsh for his weak eyes. What he appreciated more was the nighttime, the purple sky and the twinkling stars. His eyes settled on a huntress, shooting arrows and hunting. A newer constellation created by Artemis, during the quest that transpired where Bianca died. He then had his answer.

“I.. I think so. I think they will. They’ve been through a lot before this and they’ll go through a lot after this. But they’ll be okay. I promise.”

Piper nodded. “Okay. Good.”

“Annabeth’s been good to you, has she?”

She sniffled. “She’s been good to all of us.”

Nico sighed. He almost told Piper about how she spent months looking for him after he ran away from Camp the first time, and how she searched the Labyrinth for him despite not even knowing him. He was almost compelled to jump in the sea and swim deep enough to enter the depths of Tartarus. 

They stood in silence for a minute, staring at the landscape. Italy was devastatingly beautiful. The mountains stood tall, little villages and woods dotted the bottom. If he and Bianca saw this when they were younger, well, they would’ve been ecstatic. His heart sank. Bianca and Mama should've been there. 

Percy should’ve been there.

“I-I’m gonna go to bed.” Piper broke him out of his trance. “Are you gonna be okay up here? I can get Hazel if you want.”

Nico nodded. “Yeah. See you tomorrow, Piper.”

“You too, Nico.”

Piper retreated off deck. Nico was relieved to be alone. So much had happened in so little time.

Jason, Hazel, and Frank searched through the rubble, but they came back demoralized. Leo sent Coach Hedge under the deck after he beat himself up. Piper was inconsolable from crying. And Nico just stood in a daze. He didn’t realize he was staring at the wreckage for an hour straight until Hazel had to pry him away. He felt as if his neck was locked in place. She thought he was crying, but he simply hadn’t blinked in an absurd amount of time. His eyes stung.

They all discussed what to do. Leo blamed himself. So did Jason. Nico comforted him, something he felt like he had to do. He reassured them that they weren’t dead. Leo raised the sails and soared into the air. They had friends to save. Now he was below deck studying the ancient scrolls he found from Archimedes. Everyone else had gone to bed. After he refused Percy’s room, Hazel offered for Nico to room with him, but again, he refused. He comforted her for hours, held her as she cried, and they reassured each other. Nico somehow knew that she would be the one to save them, though he didn’t know how.

Promise me! 

For weeks, months, even, Nico had pondered what his life had come to. He started to question this as he listened to the chorus of the dead, ranting and raving, moaning in pain. All of them shared one common denominator: the purpose of life.

What was it?

Nico had been through so much. His sanity was barely even intact. Even now, he still was afraid to turn around and see visions of his mother. Or the horrible images he saw in his dreams. They still played in the back of his mind ever since the jar toppled on the floor.

He knew it was useless to try to find meaning in suffering, as it was all futile. If you keep digging into a nonexistent hole, you’ll keep coming up with the same answer. Nothing. Pain was for nothing. Sometimes it just damaged somebody, made them unworthy of attention or love, like it made him. Or it trapped somebody in the past with no hope of ever coming back. Even so, Nico couldn’t help but wonder what the purpose of it was. What was it all for? 

He didn’t belong. He would never belong. Not in this century, or this ship, or either camp, Greek or Roman. And he was too human to blend in with the hordes of ghosts in every realm they resided in. Humanity was a concept which was foreign to him, a role he was playing but questioning if he even was. 

Percy Jackson. 

Right now, he and Annabeth were falling, just as he had. Nico would know how far they were in Tartarus, be able to discern whether they were alive or dead. And unlike everyone else, he’d walked the harsh roads that they have. He’d seen the mortal side. He would guide them to Epirus.

He would make sure Percy and Annabeth would live. He would make sure the Argo II would make it’s way through the chaotic skies and the unforgiving seas. He would make it up to Percy. When asked to do the impossible, he didn’t run away. He took it in its stride, looked it in the eyes, told it to bring it on, give him everything it got.

His heart ached. His eyes watered. He held the Mythomagic statue that Bianca gave him, which also survived Tartarus. It forever would throb of Percy’s touch, forever imprinted on the delicately made wood. He shook the complicated feelings away as he shoved it back into his pocket and looked to the sky. Percy and Annabeth would live to see it again. He’d make sure of it.

Promise me! 

Nico smiled at the sky. Weakened and overtaxed, but he still knew how to smile. He still knew how to love. At least those parts of him weren’t lost to time.

“I will, Percy,” he rasped. “I promise.”

                                                                ~~~

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?
I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life
Drawing hearts in the byline
Always taking up too much space or time
You assume I'm fine
But what would you do if I…