Chapter Text
My eyes fluttered open, but for a moment I wasn’t sure they had.
The room was pitch black and everything felt unfamiliar. I blinked a few times just to make sure I really was awake before groaning upwards. I felt around and the only thing that felt memorable was a silk pillow case underneath me. For the briefest moment I felt fear and uncertainty, but then the smells of the room and bed brought it all back. The sheets, my body, it all smelled of jasmine. Of herbs from the ritual. Of…him.
Oh. The ritual. Oh my God! We had sex.
The slight soreness between my thighs was hard not to notice. That paled in comparison to the sleepy embers of want that only needed a bit of inspiration to become ravenous flames again. I fell onto my back, sliding one of the pillows over my face. My mind was replaying every touch, every sound, every kiss, and every part of Selwyn thrusting into me. If I tried hard enough, I could still feel his breath on my neck.
Wait. Something…something’s not right. Where is Sel?
I was beginning to wonder just how long I’d slept and where the hell Selwyn could be? Then I remembered that we were bonded together. Just as I was falling asleep the echoed reciprocation of our feelings lulled me into a sweet satisfaction. I hadn’t known such peace since my mother was alive. It made sense after that I could sleep so deeply.
I was well rested, rejuvenated even. But now, there was a distinct absence of echo. It felt so naturally present before and in its place was a distinct sense of lack.
Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. Alright, Bree. Concentrate.
I leveled out my breathing and meditated. Something Erebus had drilled into me until it became second nature. In my mind, I thought of everything that Selwyn Kane was to me. I pulled forth the way it felt to be in his arms, how irritating he could be when we argued, his distinct way with words, his piercing eyes, his aether, and everything else I could think of to manifest him in my mind.
Just like that, a tidal wave of emotions came flooding back into me with the warm tingling heat that was so characteristically his. I could sense he was nearby, probably somewhere in the living room. As soon as I’d figured out his locations the feelings retreated back into vacancy.
But why was it more difficult to feel him now? Is Selwyn purposefully holding back from me?
I decided enough was enough. I stumbled out of bed feeling extremely naked while I swayed around until I stepped on the foot press for the large standing lamp. First, I noticed the pile of clothes I’d left next to the mirror salvaging my underwear. My eyes caught a black leather duffel bag in the corner with a few articles of clothing sticking out the sides.
My passing thoughts knew it must be Selwyn’s. I couldn’t fight the girlish part of me that wanted to slip inside his T-shirt and sniff it. God, I felt so feral sliding into it and doing just that. But for so long, the only things I’d had for comfort were Nick’s necklace and my mother’s bracelet. After clinging to those pieces of metal as my only life lines; this T-shirt felt like an indulgence I hadn’t gifted myself in years.
Winding up Brave Bree I exited the bedroom; towards the other end of the hallway a warm flickering light beckoned me. My bare feet on the floors felt distinctly like déjà vu. I was nervous all over again, my heart pounding for reasons I couldn’t quite tie down.
Simple as syrup, Sel was lounged out on the large plush white couch in front of a roaring fireplace I hadn’t even detected before. True to form he was shirtless and in a baggy pair of sweatpants pouring over a book. His hair was a total mess and I wanted to put my hands in it so badly.
It should be criminal to look that sexy.
“So this is why I woke up alone? You’re over here cuddling with a copy of the Conte of Monte Cristo? ” I complained walking up to him with my arms folded over my chest and eyebrows raised. At my teasing tone Sel smirked, finally tearing those harvest moon eyes away from the pages.
His expression changed instantly and his mouth drew open until it was slightly agape. He was silent but his eyes spoke volumes. Drinking me in with simmering lust steaming hot from his lowered eyelids. Finally, he said, “I’m not sure what I want to ravage you in more. That incriminating uniform or my T-shirt.” His voice was rough from hours of disuse and the effect on my nether regions was instant.
Damn. I just put these panties on. Focus Briana.
“Selwyn. We have to talk.” My voice squeaked out an octave higher without meaning too.
When we were still in high school; Alice told me if I ever wanted to pour ice water on a man tell him ‘we needed to talk’. Nearly instantly, Sel closed his book and sat up, feet firmly on the ground. I couldn’t help but to notice the adorable twitch of his ears and frantic eyes reading my body language like a Merlin.
“Why? What happened? What’s the matter?” Sel asked words tumbling out faster than I thought possible for him. I felt a tinge of guilt for making him so panicked. I stepped in closer and sat down beside him on the couch. “I think I should be the one asking you that.” I spoke softly putting my hand on his knee.
His expression looked perplexed and his words mirrored that, “Alright you lost me. Please just say it plain Briana.” Sel steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them like he was preparing for the worst.
I sighed. “Selwyn, are you…hiding from me?” I finally asked his head turned toward me slowly, but I kept talking. “This morning,” I cleared my throat fighting through the blush. “When we were first bonded, I could feel you so clearly. Like your heart was beating right next to mine. Like your feelings were my feelings.” I smiled in remembrance before turning away from his now piercing gaze sparking up my cheeks.
“But when I woke up just now it was…so different. I could only feel…this empty space. I reached for you in the bed and you weren’t there either. I had to focus and pull to even get a small bit of you until I finally realized you were at least still here.” I brought my eyes back to his and there was a convicting expression; a knowing on his face.
I reached out and clasped his hand in mine. “I know in the past you’ve felt that you’ve had to hide things that are happening to you from me. But please don’t act like you don’t know how much I hate that Selwyn Kane. I’ll forgive you if these years have made you overlook, but I want to know you. Like…really know you! Maybe this is just j-just some misunderstanding because I don’t know how this new bond works. My instincts are telling me otherwise. So tell me, why are you blocking me out?” By the time I’d gotten all of my thoughts out I was near to tears. Old wounds and old triggers were feeling like fresh cuts ground up with salt.
I knew I would be walking right into everything I left behind, but feeling it all was another beast entirely.
God, does he even trust me?
His hand reached out and held my cheek, and I leaned into it. Even if I was angry with him, I couldn’t help it. No one had held me in over three years and this time I was the one starved for touch. His thumb swiped at my falling tears. Selwyn finally responded, “Briana. I’m so very sorry. I promise you, I didn’t mean it in that way. But I’m aware that intention and impact are two very different things. Therefore, I still owe you this explanation.” Selwyn started pulsing our interlaced hands together twice.
He cleared his throat, “I remember being so overwhelmed with everything when I was first oathed to Nicholas. Like I was so completely exposed. It…was honestly very violating. It made the entire transition of moving from my Merlin school to the Davis’ house that much more difficult.” Sel shook his head like he was shaking off a reoccurring nightmare.
“Those memories aren’t the best, and those feelings…I don’t want them for you. I shut off my side of the connection so you wouldn’t have to feel overwhelmed. You keep telling me that you chose this, but part of me still doesn’t want you too. I don’t want this level of intimacy to kill what we’ve barely started. Kind of like what it did to Nick and I.” Sel tensed and his chin ticked from the pressure.
I could see he was holding back so much, but that was exactly what I didn’t want. I pulled away for a moment to straddle myself over him. I pulled him into my arms and kissed his sharp chin bone, savoring the feeling of his stubble on my lips. I used the proximity to whisper “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to misunderstand your intentions Sel. I was just really triggered.” I left it there, not wanting to rehash our past missteps. “I’m glad we talked about this, but I haven’t changed my mind. I don’t want you to hide from me, especially when I’m not able to do the same. I won’t force you to do anything your uncomfortable with, but in your own time, I want to feel you too. Feel you like you feel me.” I pulled back and prayed my eyes could communicate just how deeply I wanted him to feel comfortable with me. Safe.
Water pooled and pooled in his eyes until it spilled forth making Sel let out a breathless laugh. I kissed his tears and wiped the excess residue. His cheeks were tinged pink and his eyes pulled mine with a different intensity that seemed new. I peered back searching for its meaning, but he didn’t make me wait.
Selwyn’s hands moved up my thighs and held onto my waist, golden eyes in awe. “Briana Irene Mathews, you are so unlike anyone I’ve ever met.” Sel preened and I giggled girlishly, unafraid to lighten the mood. “Hopefully, in a good way.” I teased pairing a pinched brow with a pout.
“In the best way.” Sel assured and he paused. His eyes danced around the room, the way they always did when he was nervous. Powering through, he met my eyes still tense, but somewhat reassured. “And… I’ve never been more sure of how much I love you, Bree.” Selwyn spoke so quietly I was afraid I’d misheard him. He looked away again and continued to whisper, “But you already knew that.”
I could feel my heart melting, finally feeling Selwyn gradually pulled back the solid wall between us and the depth of his love filled me up. More than his words, I was completely enveloped by the warmest beauty reserved for descriptions of oceans and constellations. Infinite things.
Something words would never do justice. So I just kissed him. Hard.
Like explosive chemistry Selwyn reacted immediately, pulling me further into his lap as our tongues danced. He slid forward enough for me to wrap my legs around his back. But I still wasn’t as close as I wanted to be. Drawing both of my hands up the back of his neck and into his hair, I thawed into his bare chest.
I needed air desperately, but I couldn’t bring myself to pull away from the euphoric feeling of his tongue melding with mine. More and more, I felt insatiable. Insatiable like a cambion. I was grinding my hips into his lap all the while getting progressively more and more dizzy. I could feel him getting hard under my ass just as my vision blurred.
Sel pulled back and I allowed myself to breathe again for a moment. Until my eyes caught the smallest line of saliva connecting our mouths. Without a second thought I pressed my tongue across his bottom lip, nibbled my canines there, and dragged backward slowly while holding his hot gaze.
This animalistic lust was pouring into me like a drug. Like the tables had turned and I was getting drunk off all the energy that made Selwyn Kane. I wanted to devour him.
He was feeling the heat too. Red bled into those inescapable eyes and he groaned out. “Briana. Can I taste you?” Sel growled as a deep purr rippled in is chest. I leaned in and sucked on his neck; his inner vibrations grew louder. I’d heard him speak, but I could barely pull myself away from him long enough to respond. Selwyn danced his fingers into the hair at the back of my neck and pulled me back from bruising his skin. His gentle but firm hold on me was so fucking hot. I almost wanted him to pull my wild curls harder.
We were both breathing so heavily; neither of us said anything while we caught our breath. Surprising myself, I spoke first, “Yes. If you want a taste, bonne appetit Kingsmage. It’s a bit too late for these panties and your lap though. I’m positive their already drenched.” I cooed and he smirked fiendishly. Keeping a firm hold on my hair, Sel shifted our positions, sliding two of his fingers over my clit. I shuddered above him as a breathy moan breezed out of me.
His eyes bore down on me and the pleasure bloomed inside my cunt. After a few minutes of torturous teasing Sel pushed those two fingers inside of me in a scooping motion and pulled them back out. Bringing his glistening digits back into our line of sight before lapping up every last drop of my juices like he hadn’t had a meal in weeks. He sucked from finger tip to palm webs sure not to waste a single drop. All the while moaning and looking into my eyes.
“Bree. Bree. Bree. You taste so fucking delicious.” Selwyn taunted and my clit twitched, missing his touch. My mouth felt dry from all of the heavy breathing, but still I ground out “Well there’s more where that came from Mr. Kane.” I’d barely gotten the words out and I was on my back on the plush rug adjacent to the fireplace. He ripped the black lace right off my hips and the fabric snapped causing me to yelp in surprise.
Sel balled the fabric in his hand and inhaled until his eyes bled completely blood red. He tucked them away in his pocket, crawling up to my hip points to kiss each one. Back and forth. Lower and lower until he was planting butterfly kisses on my outer labia. Selwyn pushed my folds outward with his hand and circled around my clitoris with his tongue.
My moans careened into the air and I squeezed my eyes shut from the sheer intensity of it all. I felt less and less like a person with a body and more and more like a tidal wave of pleasure filling a vessel. I could barely comprehend the dexterity of his tongue, only that it was his and it was so fucking good I wanted to cry.
Just as my pleasure was climbing, I expected him to pull back like he had earlier. Instead, he slipped his fingers inside of me until he pressed right into my G-spot. And that was it.
“Shit, I’m cumming.” I whined and my hips bucking while riding his face. As I peaked his name came out of my mouth like my orgasmic mantra. Selwyn. Fuckkkk Selw. Mhhhmmm….Sel.
Just as I was coming down, I noticed that…
…he hadn’t stopped.
He was lapping all my juices clean and worked his way right back up to my clit. My pulsing bundle of nerves started to send me into another onslaught of merciless gratification. Sel’s fingers were back inside pleasuring me and my legs were shaking. He licked and sucked expertly giving my throbbing core everything it was crying out for.
Part of me suspected he was using our bond to feel out exactly what my body needed. I couldn’t study it any further when an even more intense orgasm wretched my back into an arch. A silent scream held me up until I was finally able to breath out another labored breath. My body felt like a puddle and my bones were gelatin.
Selwyn moved up my body, kissing the side of my face, my neck, and finally pulled his shirt off me. My nipples hardened even more at the loss of fabric. He kneeled above me, but kept his position between my legs. Eyes taking in my every detail like he was observing a puzzle, plotting which piece to take next.
Finally, he leaned down pressing on my nipples between his wet fingers and kissed my clavicle. Switching his right hand to massaging my breast his other hand walking right back down to my thighs. Those same two fingers kept lightly drumming my overstimulated bud making me twitch with each tap.
Then suddenly it struck me.
This pattern.
He wasn’t going to stop.
Selwyn Emrys Kane was going to make me cum over and over again until I’d gone completely insane. Earlier his game was withholding until I was desperate. Now he planned to drown me in his touch until I knew no other sensations except for his tongue or his fingers fucking me senseless.
“Oh shit..mhhmm… Sel your gonna –ahhhh.. make me cum until I lose my mind.” My voice squeaked out and I heard his absolutely sinister chuckle. He moved up from my chest and feathered a kiss on my lips, once, twice. Finally saying “Briana Irene. You are just so smart.” Selwyn complimented without a drop of sarcasm.
He was actually impressed I’d caught on so soon.
…and even then, he pressed that left hand on my enlarged clit and I cried out.
Fuck. Can I die from this?
The echoes of insatiable lust between us were turning into a vicious feedback loop that might actually put me in a coma. The most nerve-wracking part was besides the weakness in my body, I couldn’t find a single reason to stop. I wanted Sel to twist every orgasm he could out of me because the way our bond quadrupled the pleasure was lethally addictive.
We both wanted this so badly; our bond merely amplified those feelings. I felt my walls tightened all over again, my heightened sensitivity pulling me back under. My last four brain cells scrambled for a plan.
I need him inside of me.
I was desperate to torture him like he was torturing me. Before I could cum a third time my voice panted out, “Selwyn, please. I-i need you inside me. Ahh.. want to feel you…. please.” My plea was enough to stop his fingers. As soon as he moved his hand, I hooked my shaky legs around his hips. Hopeful I could regain enough of my senses to make him listen.
Selwyn laughed heartily. “On the offensive then?” He grinned until his sharp fangs scraped his lips. “Or maybe just in the same trap.” Sel leaned forward, grinding his hard dick against my clit over and over through his lose pants. I threw my head back more than a little mortified that even just dry humping this man was enough to make me cum. My hand shot out and gripped his bicep so hard I drew blood. Still he pressed his cock against me until I was brought to another climax. Melting back into the carpet for a third time.
This time Sel actually cackled like the devil himself all too pleased with his work. Even licking away the small dots of blood I’d left with my fingers.
That’s it.
I was done playing nice.
I wrapped my hand around the silver chains around his neck and pulled him down to my mouth. “Selwyn Kane, I swear to God if you don’t fuck me right now, I’ll kill you.” I commanded so angry and horny my root might have actually turned my eyes red. Smiling, he closed the distance, kissing me on my nose, “Now, how can I say no to such a sweet request.” He teased leaning up and I released my grip on his jewelry.
Finally, finally. FINALLY… he pulled his pants down freeing his proud standing girth. Just like before my gaze was drawn to his beautiful figure. Somehow still wanting more of him.
Lining up with my entrance, he brought his eyes up again. “Ready cariad?” He spoke softly and I couldn’t even appreciate it through my own vicious wantonness. “Hurry up and f-aahhhh.” Before I could curse him, Sel plunged in and I finally felt like he’d come home to me. The bottomless chasm of my lust was the smallest bit satiated. The sweet sound of his own growls emboldened me to focus, despite the spine tingling stretching of his member robbing me of what was left of my intellect.
I tightened my walls around him and he let out a monstrous groan than made me smile. I could do this. I didn’t let up grinding upwards into him, but I still needed more. Without thinking I used what strength I had left to yank his anchoring arm and push him over onto his back. The Kingsmage didn’t know that I’d gotten more than a few tricks up my sleeve during our time apart.
Before he could move, I climbed on top and slid down onto him. My Merlin’s eyes rolled back and he groaned while I grinded my hips in circles. I could tell I was pulling him apart when he closed his eyes. He was concentrating, fighting to keep the upper hand.
Not wanting anymore of his bright ideas, I moved one of his hands from my waist onto my breast. “Don’t close your eyes cariad.” I begged and his heavy lids leered back, lips raw and bitten. “Stay here. Watch me.” I breathed out getting close again, but this time I would be damned if I came alone.
Moving his hand again, I put his fingers into my mouth and sucked, hard.
“Ahhhh…ffuuuccckkk Bree.” The cambian groaned closer to his own threshold. Now he was bucking up into me from below. Slamming into that delicious spot deep in my core. Soon we were both racing further and further into pleasuring each other. I was ridiculously close again and leaned down until my breast were flush against his pecks.
I bit his ear and moaned, “Please don’t make me cum alone this time. I need to feel you.”
In a flash of movement, I was on my back again. Selwyn grabbed one of the couch cushions, sliding it under my rear. He slapped his drenched cock on my twitching clit a few times, before sliding right back between my walls. Now he grinded into me with desperation I had yet to see. Sweat accumulated on his brow, but followed my every plea.
His eyes stayed with mine while slamming into my tightening walls with savage precision. I reached up and he kissed my fingers first and interlaced our hands second. Moaning wilder, deeper, Selwyn was reaching his limit. I clenched my walls and his whines bordered on helpless.
“Bree… I’m..” I cut him off before he could say more. I didn’t think I could hold out a second longer. “Yes, yes, please.” I trembled and with a few more precise thrusts we both came, my collapsing walls milking his twitching cock dry until my Merlin fell over me.
After a few beats Sel rolled out of me and disappeared. When he came back in some boxer briefs; Sel cleaned me up with a warm towel like I was his prized Ashton Martin. Gentle and following every other swipe with a light kiss. Dragging the throw blanket off the couch he wrapped me up like a burrito and pulled me back up with him onto the couch.
The crackling flames hissed peacefully. I was so happy and I felt his open joy echoing mine. He wasn’t hiding. It was foolish, but I felt so relieved. Feeling our hearts beating together again felt so right. Even if this bond was temporary until we reached his mother. I didn’t want it to stop.
“Sel.” I interrupted the silence.
“Hmm...” He responded, uncharacteristically wordless. I turned to watch him looking more and more like a simple man. His eyes sinking back into gold. I spoke up before I lost my nerve.
“…I…I love you too.”
His eyes shot up, surprised. In his typical Selwyn way, he used all his senses to make sure I meant it. Even after I was positive he knew it, he formed his mouth and asked “You do?” It broke me how disbelieving he could be at times.
“Yeah, I do…even though you’re a sadistic asshole.” I snickered and he laughed with me. He shifted and kissed my forehead and pulled me closer into his chest. Tossing a leg over my body, successfully trapping me. I didn’t know how much longer we were going to stay in this penthouse, but I almost didn’t want to ask.
We were safe, protected. Together. I prayed this day would never end.
“Sel.” I called out again.
“Hmm…” He mumbled again.
“Maybe no more sex for now.” He sat up nearly displacing me from the couch. “And why is that?” Failing completely at nonchalance.
“My legs… I need to at least be able to sit up on your motorcycle.” I blushed and that same shit eating grin paraded onto his face.
“Pshh…I already thought of that. The next leg of the drive will be too long for the bike so I also brought a pickup truck.” Sel leaned in with a thin veil of innocence. “So your legs are mine now.” He teased, but I knew he was entirely serious. It was becoming clearer and clearer while I had spent the last few years training and waitressing tables; Selwyn was planning to come back to me. Even down to the level of detail in plotting what he wanted to do to my body. How to keep us safe on the run. Researching ways to break my curse. Still holding a candle with his love. Not even knowing if I’d ever reciprocate it.
How could I not love a man like that?
Understanding what he could accomplish when the majority of his time wasn’t spent keeping an entire region safe was humbling. Sel had focused his genius and tactical brilliance on us. I’d already pet his ego enough for one evening so I settled back down as little spoon.
Besides, I could feel his pride glowing from his chest. I didn’t need to say more.