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it’s been a year and a half since ban disappeared. a year and a half since momo pathetically begged yuki to keep singing, to sing with her.
one day, hours after a successful live and completely out of the blue-
“yuki-san. i don’t know if i can stay in re:vale.”
yuki doesn’t expect it, of course. why would she? momo was the one that did her best to keep yuki on this path. but momo is also the one that ends things.
yuki pauses. “…momo?”
momo looks small in front of her, her fists balled up by her sides as if it would physically hurt her to repeat the sentence. “yuki-san—”
the platinum-haired girl doesn’t actually need it repeated. how could she miss a sentence like that? with a quick, forced laugh, she searches momo’s eyes. “what are you talking about? don’t joke like that.”
they’re empty words— ones with no real meaning; ones she had hoped would comfort her. there’s no use in saying them— her eyes reveal that momo’s guilt-stricken expression is the realest thing she’s ever seen.
it’s too real. the illusion that this maybe, perhaps, please be a joke, shatters.
yuki’s head feels a bit light. she tries her best not to let her balance shift. “momo? please— please explain?”
momo doesn’t look like she’s in a state to calmly explain why yuki is too much to work with, i couldn’t do it after all, i can’t give everything up just for someone like you, but yuki’s brain is generating reason after reason. that’s why she desperately needs something. she needs momo to say it’s okay, yuki— that’s not why, i’m not actually leaving, you don’t need to worry.
momo’s pale face, so sick with shame that yuki feels sorry for her, hurts to look at. seconds feel like hours as momo’s eyes dart around, the other girl presumably trying to find her words. yuki waits impatiently for something, anything.
a loud sigh breaks the silence. “ah… i can’t…”
what does that mean?
unexpectedly, momo steps back, towards the exit. “sorry, yuki-san, i’ve gotta collect my thoughts.” she looks as if she’ll run off, but she pauses to shout something that yuki barely processes. “and i know how you think, so just remember that it’s all my fault! you can hate me if you want! you didn’t do anything wrong!”
momo is gone.
yuki remains.
momo, it was you told me to sing. you told me to sing by your side.
so why...?
how can you just leave?
they don’t see each other for a while. the platinum-haired girl has waited at their home for any sign of momo’s return, but it’s in vain.
yuki doesn’t quite remember her reaction to momo’s resignation anymore. did she laugh? did she cry?
who knows anymore…
when momo returns to their apartment, yuki stands up as quickly as she can and runs to greet her. “momo…!”
the other girl’s eyes are still uncertain and guilty, but she seems to be more confident in what she has to say. she better be, yuki thinks, because prepared or not, i’m not going to let her just walk off again.
“yuki-san.” momo draws a breath with a bitter smile. “let’s sit down.”
after a full five minutes of deciding seating arrangements (like hell yuki’s going to sit on the couch opposite her, they will sit together) and momo finally resigning to her wishes, they get comfortable. the air is anything but.
momo fiddles with her hands, intertwining them and flexing her fingers the way she always does when she’s extremely nervous. it’s something yuki knows to look for by now. in more formal settings, it’s harder to catch — her movements are smaller and more concealed, since it’s not deemed as acceptable for a professional to be doing something like that. but yuki and momo know each other well, so momo doesn’t reign in her habits around her.
yuki’s eyes sting. we know each other well, right?
“yuki-san. i’ll preface this by saying none of this is your fault, because i know how you think. please don’t blame yourself.”
at the very least, momo certainly knows yuki well. but how can yuki accept a response like that? if there’s no reason behind momo’s departure, if momo won’t tell her the reason— what else can yuki do but blame herself? what else can she do?
maybe that’s the problem. maybe yuki doesn’t know momo well enough.
the thought makes her heart ache.
the dark-haired girl makes meek eye contact. “i’ve figured out some things— i mean, i’ve known them for a while, and i’ve thought it over; i really have.”
yuki doesn’t say anything.
momo looks to her right, her hands squeezing each other so tight that her knuckles pale. “i’m sorry. it’s my fault. the last thing i would ever want is to burden you with my feelings. my problems aren’t yours.”
the blue-eyed girl feels her throat go dry. how can momo say something like that?
how cruel. why can’t she realize that i’ll willingly bear all her problems, no matter what they are?
she squeezes her eyes shut. please, if nothing else, just stay with me.
“i love you, yuki-san.”
yuki opens her eyes, scanning momo’s expression. “i love you too—”
“no,” momo interrupts, her voice on edge, “not like that.”
the dark-haired girl’s eyebrows are furrowed, and her expression is twisted as if she knows she’s doing something that will kill her. as if she’s sacrificing something dear to her, laying her bones down in defeat.
momo’s face looks like she believes everything is over.
yuki is rendered speechless.
momo squeezes and rubs her fingers, and yuki’s gaze is drawn to her fidgeting. “i realized it a while back. i couldn’t— i couldn’t believe it. i promised to stay by your side, but i was having thoughts as selfish as this?” she laughs half-heartedly. “i couldn’t allow things to continue as they were. yuki-san, you’re a nice person— i knew you wouldn’t say you mind. but it would be a burden to you. i’d interfere with your music, and your feelings. it’d rip apart the re:vale you’ve worked tirelessly to keep alive.”
yuki feels her throat become tight. …momo, how can you say that?
momo doesn’t look into yuki’s eyes even once as she continues to speak. “even if i stayed quiet about it, you would be affected by how i acted about it. no matter what i choose to do with these feelings, it’d burden you. so i thought, maybe i could just throw them away.”
how can you say that?!
momo’s voice explodes, as if it’s been bubbling up to the highest point before erupting. her emotions are a steaming, oozing volcano, and yuki is standing still, like a deer frozen in headlights, in its path. “but i can’t! i tried, and i can’t! losing feelings for you is something i just can’t do, even if i were to leave re:vale and never see you again!”
yuki tenses up at those words. ‘…leave re:vale and never see you again?’
you can’t!
she engulfs momo in a hug, which said girl squeaks at. “y-yuki-san?!”
yuki’s words are muffled through momo’s shoulder. “you can’t.”
“eh?”
yuki squeezes momo, blinking back the tears she knows will spill out any moment now. “you can’t leave. don’t leave me, momo.”
momo doesn’t speak or move, until her arms settle around yuki to return the hug. “didn’t you hear what i said, yuki-san? we can’t keep doing this— it’ll burden you.”
“we share all our burdens, remember? i need you. don’t leave me, momo.”
there’s a few moments of tense silence. then, yuki pulls away, her face serious. “i’ve got it.”
momo blinks. “huh?”
yuki holds her hands. “everything will be resolved if i like you back, right? so i’ll just do that.”
HUH?!
momo splutters for words, grabbing yuki’s forearms. “wait, WAIT! you can’t just do that! you’re hurting me by saying that, y’know!”
yuki tilts her head. “i’m totally serious, though? and it’s true, isn’t it?”
momo grumbles to herself. “ahh… you don’t get it all…” perking up, she speaks to yuki accusingly. “and hey! do you even know what it’s like to love someone like that?!”
yuki looks up thoughtfully. “no, not really. what is it like for you, momo?”
the dark-haired girl looks down, becoming self conscious. “erm, well… i love your face… i think you’re the most talented person in the world… i love your voice… i want to be with you all the time… i want you to be happy and successful… i want to touch you and be close to you… u-umm, this isn’t—”
“oh, i see. doesn’t that mean we share the same feelings after all?”
HUHHH?!
momo’s eyes are wide, and she grabs yuki again for support. “wait, what are you—?!”
yuki’s expression is just as serious as before, but her eyes are a bit brighter. “i want to see you every day. your face is my favorite face. your voice is my favorite voice. i love watching you work your hardest. i love your smile, which can make my day no matter the circumstances. i want you to be closer to me. i want you by my side all the time. i want to hold you and—”
momo reaches up to cover her mouth with her hands. “t-that’s enough, i think!”
yuki takes her hand and kisses her wrist before easing her cheek into momo’s palm. “is that good enough for you? is what i feel for you the same as what you feel for me?”
the dark-haired girl cups yuki’s face with both hands, her cheeks red. “i guess so…”
“then that confirms it. all our problems are resolved.” with that, yuki pushes momo down on the couch and starts peppering her face with kisses.
momo is about five seconds from exploding. “yuki-san?!”
yuki nuzzles her face into the crook of her neck. “if we’ve kissed, then there’s only one thing left that will make it official, right?”
what is she—
“i love you, momo.”
oh.
momo feels herself choke up, as well as hot tears beginning to form. oh. yuki-san loves me. she really… she actually…
“i love you too, yuki-san.”
yuki cracks her first genuine smile of the week as she wipes momo’s tears, and momo thinks, oh. this is the best view in the world.
the platinum-haired girl presses a kiss to her lips. “silly. you already told me.”