Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nothing’s going the way he planned. They are getting killed left and right. Men, women and everything in between. FEDRA doesn’t care who lives or who dies, Fireflies, bystanders or even their own, so long as they get the upper hand.

Every day seems to be a massacre. No matter what they do, someone always seems to find them. These days, they can’t even scavenge food without losing one or two people, and it’s driving him crazy.

Everyone looks to him for answers, like he knew what was going to happen. Like he could foresee the attacks, the ambushes, the betrayals. He might be their leader, but he sure as hell ain’t a magician.

All he can do is plan for the worst, make sure that everyone going out is as prepared as possible so that casualties can be kept to a minimum. In these trying times though, being prepared entails a three-week training course, a pistol and a helmet.

Sometimes it dawns on him how much these people are putting on the line. How much they trust him and the cause. It’s a big burden on his shoulders, making sure to make the right decisions under awful circumstances, but if there’s anything he’s good at, is finishing what he’s started.

There’s no halfway with anything. If he has to die for the cause, he’ll die for the cause. His life isn’t worth anything compared to what they can achieve. Truth be told, his life stopped being worth anything the moment he failed as a parent and as a human being, that fateful night twenty years ago.

He tries not to dwell on it, as hard as that is. It’s always in the back of his mind though, hidden inside the crevices of his brain, waiting for the moment he least expects it.

“They are ready.” He’s taken out of his thoughts, grateful for the interruption. “Two men on the rooftop, seven on the ground, one planting the bomb and two scouting the area for civilians.” Taking a deep breath, he stands up from his chair. Tess - his second in command, as she likes to call herself - leans on his desk. “Are you sure about this?” He gets next to her.

“What other choice do we have?” Her sigh is long and loud, as she always does when she doesn’t have an answer. “We need the resources. FEDRA’s been wiping us out, taking our supplies. People are starving, Tess.”

“I know.”

“We are taking the necessary precautions. No one will get hurt, and if they do, then that’s on me. But I’d rather have that guilt on my conscience than hundreds of hungry stomachs to feed.” He won’t back down. He knows the risks, so does she and every single person involved. He’s not forcing anyone to help, everyone does it on their own volition. 

“Yeah, I just wish there was another way.” She’s still not sold on it, and he understands. Violence isn’t always the answer, but more times than not, that’s the only way there is to keep going.

“There used to be other ways, back when we had more people and less moles. When FEDRA didn’t know about every single thing we did. That’s not the case anymore, though, is it?” He wishes everything was back to the way it was barely five years ago, it’s all wishful thinking.

“Guess not.” Resigned, Tess stands up, hands on her hips. “I’ll make sure everything goes smoothly.” Placing himself right next to her, he lays his hand on her shoulder.

“Thanks.” With a slight nod, she walks away, leaving him on his own once again. Awful thoughts pouncing on his brain the second she does,

………………

Planning attacks, raids and reconnaissance routes takes time. Numerous maps filled with annotations and ideas fill the walls of his office, and the more he looks at them, the more desperate he gets.

Ten years of this bullshit and they still haven’t progressed. What’s the point anymore? What good of a leader is he if after all this time he’s still on square one?

His eyes go over the city map over and over again until they hurt, until everything seems to get blurry. He can’t stop though, not now. He needs something. Something good , something that will make a difference.

That’s when there’s a knock on the door.

“Sorry to interrupt, but there’s a kid at the door asking for you.” Arms crossed, he turns around, frowning.

“A kid ?” What in the world would a kid want from him? “How old?”

“I’d say around thirteen or fourteen.”

“We don’t recruit kids that young. Tell them to go back home.” Not wanting to discuss the matter any further, he gets back to the maps.

“She says she’s not here to join us. She asked for you specifically.” Now that , peaks his interest.

“She asked for me? How the hell does she even know me?” Without even thinking about it, he approaches the woman at the door.

“She wouldn't say. Said she’d only talk to you.” He sighs, trying to think of what to do. He should keep planning, but what progress is he making at the moment? None. He’s exhausted, a distraction could be good for him, and besides, what harm could meeting with a kid do?

“Alright. Bring her here.” The woman leaves and he takes the time to hide anything that could give out their plans. She might be a kid, but he has no idea what her intentions are. He won’t take that risk. 

“Here she is.” A girl, too skinny for her age and height, enters the room, visibly uncomfortable.

“Are you Joel?” The decisiveness in her voice shocks him. Motioning for the woman to leave, he sits on his chair, letting the kid know she can do the same. Begrudgingly she does.

“Could be. Who are you?” He can see her fidget, playing with her hands.

“Veronica.” It takes her a second too long to answer, making him wonder if that could be a lie. He lets it slide.

“Okay, Veronica .” His tone makes her look up as he leans forward on the table. “Why are you here?”

“I need your help.” Her voice wavers, almost as if she’s trying to hold back tears.

“ My help? How do you even know me?”

“My friend Riley is a Firefly.” Riley? That name sounds familiar. His brain runs through every new young recruit until it lands on her. The sneaky teenager he found on one of his reconnaissance routes barely two months ago. “ Was a Firefly.” His eyebrows automatically raise at her words.

“ Was ? She died?” Her trembling bottom lip is enough of an answer. “I’m sorry kid. What happened?”

“She got bit, a week ago.” He clearly remembers designiting her to the abandoned mall, how in the hell did she get bitten there?

“In the mall?” She’s clearly surprised he knows where she even was.

“Yeah. We were-”

“Wait, wait. We ?” The kid was with her? “You were there?”

“Yeah, I had to-” Her breathing gets slightly erratic. ‘ Poor kid, Jesus. ’

“Look, I’m sorry that you had to go through that, kid. But what do you need my help with?” She takes a deep breath before looking straight into his eyes.

“You have to believe me when I tell you that it was a week ago. And I need you to promise me that you are going to listen to me before coming to any conclusions.”

“What?” Confused isn’t exactly the right word for what he’s feeling right now.

“She told me about you. She told me that you are thoughtful and that you listen to everyone’s ideas and concerns.” What the hell is she getting at? “So I need you to listen to me.” Knowing she won’t explain unless he agrees, he does just that.

“Okay, kid. Explain.” Standing up, she places a hand on her sleeve and moves it up. Revealing a bite mark right on her forearm. His chair moves back before he even has time to process what’s in front of him.

“I was bitten at the same time. She’s dead and I’m not.” His hand hovers over his revolver, he doesn’t pull it out. “Why am I still here?” Moving his eyes from her arm to her face, he sees tears running freely down her face. “Why did she turn into a monster and not me?”

Now that’s a good fucking question.

Chapter Text

“You can’t leave me here! This is fucking child abuse!” The girl screams at the top of her lungs as he closes the door behind him.

He gets her anger, he really does. He doesn’t like his decision either, but what else is he supposed to do? He could’ve shot her the moment she showed him her arm, but he didn’t. She should be glad.

Truth be told, he doesn’t think he would’ve done it. He’s capable of a lot of things, but killing kids is not one of them. She doesn’t need to know that though, the tougher she thinks he is, the better.

“Let me out motherfuckers!” Although he gets the feeling that getting her to collaborate is going to be a difficult task.

“Make sure she’s fed and taken care of.” Both men posted at the door nod. “Keep a close eye on her and conduct checkups every six hours. If she hasn’t turned in three days, tell me. If she does-” sighing, he clenches his fists “-shoot her.” He doesn’t say another word before walking away.

“What is that about?” Tess’s voice startles him, again. She walks by his side, nodding politely at every person they cross paths with. He keeps his eyes focused on what’s in front of him. Opening the door to his office, he steps in, she follows close behind.

“A kid that claims to have been bitten a week ago.” Suddenly Tess slows down until she stops altogether, he does the same a few steps in front of her. Turning around, he meets her eyes, resting his hands on his hips.

“What?”

“She came into my office and showed me the bite.” Tess opens and closes her mouth, trying to come up with something to say. “She told me that her and Riley, the new kid we recruited a while ago, got bit in the mall a week ago. I had a few guys check the place out and they found the girl with a bullet in the head. She’d already started to turn when she was shot.” As she keeps staring at him incredulous, he walks over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “If what she says is actually true, Tess. She could be immune. Immune , do you know what that means?” He couldn’t stop the lopsided smile from appearing on his face.

“A cure.” Patting her shoulder, he steps away.

“A chance at a vaccine. A chance to leave this fucked up world behind.” Stretching his arms above his head, he lets out a sigh of relief. “She might be the key, Tess.”

“Well, fuck me.” The loud but short laugh she lets out surprises him, but it doesn’t even take a second for him to join in.

“We’ll have her isolated for a few days, make sure that what she’s saying is actually true.”

“And if it is?” He runs a hand through his hair.

“Then we’ll take her to Salt Lake.” The look she gives him is enough for him to understand that she’s not really on board with the decision.

“You know how dangerous it is to get there-”

“I know. But what else can we do? We don’t have either the equipment or the personnel to do the research. The lead doctor is in Salt Lake, he’s the professional, not any of us.” Tess’s eyes go straight to the ground. “Look, Tess. I hate this idea as much as you do, believe me. Getting there is risking a lot of lives, but there’s no other choice.”

“I know. I know. It’s just that right now we don’t have enough people to even keep this place in check, how the hell are we going to find capable people to get her all the way to Salt Lake?” That’s a concern that has been eating at him ever since the possibility of a cure was placed in his brain.

If he gets the few great people he has to escort the girl to the hospital, they’ll leave Boston unattended, but if he gets any other people to do that job, there’s a great risk the girl will get killed. In his head, there’s no good way to do it, but an idea has been circling around for a while. On paper it looks stupid, but maybe Tess will think otherwise.

“We can’t risk getting our top soldiers to go to Salt Lake, and getting her to go with less prepared soldiers is a high risk.” She nods along. “So I thought that the best course of action is me taking her.” For a second, he thinks her eyes might shoot out of her sockets.

“Are you crazy, Texas? Just you and the girl? You won’t survive a day out there on your own.”

“Then what do you suggest we do?” He’s getting frustrated and she can tell.

“We let the people in Salt Lake know about our situation and you wait until they send their people here.” Scoffing, he leans on his desk, crossing his arms.

“They won’t send anyone. There are no soldiers to spare. They won’t risk their people, they’ll just tell us to get her there on our own. You know that.” Angrily, she moves a chair and plops down on it.

“It’s too risky, Joel.”

“I know it is, but I’ve made up my mind.” She holds his gaze for a long while before sighing.

“Let me at least go with you.” Shaking his head, he stands up, getting around the table to sit on his chair.

“I need someone to lead here. There’s no one I trust more than you, you know that.” He can tell she despises his idea, but in the end, he is her superior, she’ll have to do what she’s told.

“I still think it’s a death sentence, for both of you.”

“Oh, come on. Have a bit of faith, would ya’?” He tries to lighten the mood. “If me and my brother were able to get here from Texas completely unprepared, I think I’ll be able to get to Utah now.”

“You have too much faith in your abilities, Texas.” A soft smile graces her face. He’ll count that as a win.

“We’ll see.”

…………………..

“How’d it go?” Both soldiers stand straighter once they recognize his voice. Slowly but surely, he places himself right in front of the door.

“She’s passed every test, sir. No signs of infection other than the bite.” Nodding slightly, he takes a second to think before addressing both of them.

“Okay then. You’ve done enough here, thank you both. Go and get some rest.” Smiling softly, they walk away, leaving him on his own.

Opening the door, he takes a look inside. The girl is sitting on the ground, her back to the wall as she reads what looks like a comic book. He made the guards give her something to entertain herself, because if the infection didn’t drive her crazy, the boredom just might have.

“Oh, wow. The mighty leader graces me with his presence. Do I need to stand up and bow?” He finds her sassiness refreshing, but he knows he’ll eventually get sick of it. Especially if they are going to go on a journey together. Deciding not to answer, he sits down next to her. “Be careful, with your age, you might not be able to stand up again.”

“You feeling okay? No dizziness, headaches… nothing?” Her eyes never leave her comic as she speaks.

“As I’ve been telling your people for days, I’m okay.”

“We needed to make sure you weren’t going to turn.” Scoffing, she grasps the pages a bit tighter.

“You had to make sure I wasn’t lying, you mean?”

“Semantics.” Staring at her for a few seconds, he realizes she’s not actually reading anything, her eyes never moving from one spot on the page. “Anyway. Now that almost three days have passed, we finally know you aren’t actually going to turn. Do you know what that means?” This time she does look at him. “It means that you are immune.”

“Okay, great. Am I free to go then?”

“Why did you come here?” She seems at a loss of words for a bit.

“I told you already.”

“You needed my help, yes. Help with what?” The kid keeps staring at him, as if she actually didn’t know the answer.

“I-” she gulps before continuing, he doesn’t push “- I didn’t know what to do, and Riley told me where this place was and who you were.” He frowns. “I know she wasn’t supposed to, but she wanted me to know in case I ever got in trouble.” Best friends looking out for each other, he supposes. Can’t really blame the girl. “I couldn’t go back to school, FEDRA does checks every day, they would’ve known I was bitten in less than a day. So I came here.”

“You said it happened a week before, didn’t you?” She nods weakly. “Why did it take you so long to look for us, then?” She doesn’t answer right away, her bottom lip trembling slightly.

“I was waiting for it to happen. After I-” she gulps once again. “After Riley-” a shaky breath leaves her mouth. “I was waiting to turn. I never did. It took me a few days to realize I never would . So I came here.” He lets a few seconds pass so he can take all the information in and to give her some time.

“Well, you did good, kid.” He’d pat her on the shoulder, but he doesn’t want to break any boundaries. “We can help you.” Glassy eyes meet his, and he gives her a soft reassuring smile. “But you need to be honest with me.” She seems to tense at his words. “What’s your name?”

“Veronica, I told you.” He will give it to her, she’s a pretty good liar. If it wasn’t for the fact that he’d spoken to Riley and she’d told him about his best friend Ellie, and that she had her own name scribbled on the strap of her backpack, he would’ve believed her.

“Oh, really? It’s not Ellie, then?” The sarcasm is obvious in his voice, and as she sighs and closes her eyes, he knows she won’t deny it any longer.

“ Fuck .” He can’t help but chuckle.

“There’s no need to lie about your name, kid. In fact, there’s no need to lie about anything .” She shrugs.

“Just in case.” Closing the comic book, she sets it aside. “How can you help me then?” He acts like he’s trying to get into a more comfortable position, but really he’s just trying to come up with a good way to let the kid know what’s about to happen.

“Well, as we’ve already discussed briefly, you are immune. And as you probably know, there aren’t many people like you in the world. None, that I know of, at least. Which means that something in your body is preventing you from getting infected, and if we find out what that something is, we might come up with a way to help everyone be immune as well. Do you get what I’m saying?”

“You wouldn’t get the ‘ teacher of the year ’ award, but yeah, I understood enough.” The girl chuckles at her own joke, which only receives a raised eyebrow from him. “You want to make a vaccine, I imagine?”

“I’m no doctor-”

“No shit.” His loud sigh is enough to make her stop talking.

“As I was saying, I’m no doctor, so I don’t know what their plan will be, but I know that you are exactly what they’ve been looking for. So if we get you to them, there’s a good chance we’ll be able to make a cure.” Toying with her fingers, she seems to try really hard not to look at him.

“And where are they , exactly? Outside of Boston?”

“Salt Lake City.” He doesn’t think he needs to elaborate any further. He’s wrong.

“And that is..?” Her eyes find his face, he raises an eyebrow.

“Utah.” Seemingly lost still, he huffs. “Pretty far away, kid.”

“How far exactly?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? How are you going to get me there if you don’t know?”

“I don’t know the exact amount of time it’d take us.”

“Well, give me an estimate then.”

“Around three or four months, I don’t know.”

“Oh Jesus, that far?”

“Do you always ask this many questions?”

“I like to be informed.” Thinking that he’s in the clear from her incessant questioning, he tries to get up. “Is it safe?” Before he gets back on his feet, he stops, sitting back down. “Because I’ve heard some gnarly stuff about the outside, and I really don’t want to run into any things that shoot spores at you or that have super hearing.”

“Where do you get your descriptions from?” She isn’t entirely wrong, but infected shooting spores? If that’s actually real, it’d be new information to him.

“Older kids that have worked on the wall. They get to see the outside.” Fair enough. Kids will make anything up to get other kids’ attention.

“Well, they were exaggerating.” She lets out a quiet sigh of relief. “But I won’t lie to you and tell you it’ll be easy. Or safe, for that matter.” She stares right at him now, taking in any new information. “The world out there is completely different from here. Infected, raiders and many other groups of survivors. But if we are smart and cautious, nothing will happen.”

“ Us ?” He lets out a long breath, he knew this was coming, but he was hoping it’d be later, much much later.

“You’ll be coming with me.” She stares at him, mouth agape.

“The leader of the Fireflies is taking me? You won’t send me with a group of soldiers? You ’ll be taking me there? Personally ?”

“Yes.”

“No bodyguards or anything?” He just shakes his head slowly. “Wow. I feel so honored .” Her sarcasm is getting the better of him. “And so protected too. Who needs a whole team when you can get the leader of the fucking Fireflies to take you?” The anger got more and more evident the longer she kept talking.

“You can complain all you want, but I’ll be taking you whether you want to or not.” This time he does stand up, but before he leaves, he bends down and unchains her from where his men had tied her three days ago. “Now, you either go back out there and get killed by soldiers, or you come with me, get everything you need for the road, and help us get a vaccine to save this fucked up world.” Without another word or glance her way, he gets out of the room.

He doesn’t need to look back, the quick footsteps behind him are enough.

Chapter Text

“Are you sure about this?” The rifle on his back feels heavy, but it helps calm his nerves. “You can still change your mind.” Glancing to his right, he finds the girl playing with the straps of her backpack, leaning on the side of the building not too far away.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” There’s no halfway with this. He reminds himself of that every single time he starts to second guess himself. “Before you know it, you’ll get a cure delivered to your doorstep. I’ll give it to you personally.” Scoffing playfully, Tess slaps his shoulder, leaning on the doorframe to their building.

“You better, Texas. I don’t want to be running this place on my own for too long. Besides, I’ve always wanted to know what it's like to get bitten by one of those things. The day you get me that cure, I’ll happily put it to the test.”

“Okay then, don’t want to ruin your dreams. Just hold the fort until I get back.” As she nods, he takes a few steps back. “I’ll try not to take too long.”

“Be safe out there.” Standing straight, she opens the door, he takes a few more steps backwards.

“Same to you.” With a simple nod, she walks inside.

It takes him a few seconds to compose himself, walking straight towards the kid afterwards. She doesn’t say a thing once he reaches her, which he appreciates, deciding to just follow his lead.

He knows his way around Boston, on the surface and underneath. Traits of being the leader of a rebellion, the only way to fight your enemies is to know the area even better than they do. That’s how they were so successful in the beginning, infiltrations and surprise attacks made them almost unstoppable. After so many attempts against them though, you start to show your hand. 

Almost ten years later, their enemies know their turf almost as well as they do. The only difference being that they know how to navigate it. Underground tunnels, secret entrances in abandoned buildings… almost everything is common knowledge, but only those who risk their lives every day crossing through them, know when and how to do it.

There’s a clear path to the outside in his brain. Being the leader of what is considered a ‘ terrorist group ’ is not a great trait to have when surrounded and overpowered by your enemies, so he’s learned to move in the shadows.

Tight alleys, rooftops and passageways are the go-to, but what helps them the most are the alliances. Not everyone is fit or willing to join their group, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t with them. Most civilians are not fit to fight, but their help is always appreciated. Lying for them, hiding them and spying for them are the most common ways to help, always well regarded and rewarded.

Thanks to all those factors, they get to the last tunnel to the outside without much of a fuss, at least from external forces. The kid, though, couldn’t get any more annoying. Questions after questions, remarks and unnecessary comments were thrown his way constantly. She never seems to get when to stop, and even when she’s asked or ordered to do so, she just keeps going.

After hours of incessant yapping and complaining from his new travel companion, he’s started to learn how to tune it out. At least a tiny bit. There are times though, where he wishes he could place a piece of tape over her mouth, especially when he remembers he’s got to take her halfway throughout the country.

Still, they make it to the tunnel, somehow in one piece. There’s no danger through it, as it is one of the few ways out the military hasn’t found yet. The problem is the moment they step foot outside.

It’s already dark out, something to their advantage. They sneak around the rubble and rusted cars all throughout the road, avoiding any kind of lightsource at all times. He guesses it takes them around forty five minutes to sneak away into a safe zone, and after all that time, his knees are starting to complain. He doesn’t show it, the kid still notices.

“Shouldn’t you take a break? Wouldn’t want you to fall on your ass halfway through.” He doesn’t answer her, keeping his eyes glued to the road ahead. “Seriously man, you are probably too old for this anyways. I heard that once you get over fifty, your joints fail every once in a while. What if your leg gives out and you can’t walk anymore simply because you were too stubborn to stop?” He takes deep breaths, trying really hard not to snap at her. “If you do fall, I won’t pick you up old man. I’ll find my way to the city myself. I might even sneak back inside Boston. It isn’t like I asked for this, is it?” Now , he snaps.

“You think you know everything don’t you?” He turns around hastily, making her stop dead on her tracks. “You think that, what? That you’ll be able to get to the hospital by yourself, is that it?” Suddenly, she stands straighter, squaring up her shoulders. She’s getting brave, he’s not in the mood for games.

“Maybe. Don’t know how helpful it is to go halfway across the country with a guy well over fifty-five who can’t stand up without his knees cracking.” If she gets cocky, he will do the exact same. After all, he’s the cockiest motherfucker he’s ever met.

“What are you going to do on your own, huh? You think you would’ve been able to even get here without me?”

“Maybe you’ve served your purpose already.” She takes a step closer to him, he has to look down to meet her eyes.

“Alright then, smartass. Tell me, where are you supposed to go?” his hands go to his hips at the same time that she crosses her arms.

“Salt Lake City.” Scoffing at her, as it turns out, makes her angrier. “What, asshole?”

“Which direction?” Her eyes open slightly wider. “Come on, wise guy. Answer me.” They keep staring at each other for what feels like hours before she answers.

“West.” He nods with obvious sarcasm on his features.

“Okay then. Off you go.” He gives her a couple of seconds to move, she doesn’t. “Come on, hotshot. You are free to go.” He finds it funny how all this started with her trying to make him stop somewhere too fucking close to the wall.

Dropping her arms to the side and scoffing at him, she moves away, clearly trying to prove a point. It doesn’t go too well for her.

“I guess I’ll see you back in Boston, then.” Freezing on her spot, she clenches her fists.

“What?” Turning back around, he walks away from her.

“That’s east, wiseass. Don’t they teach you anything in school?” She doesn’t answer him, instead, she follows him two steps behind in complete silence. In all honesty, he feels a bit guilty. He never wanted to go so hard on her, and for a second he debates on whether he should apologize or not. But then she opens her mouth.

“They taught me a thing or two about dinosaurs, I guess that’ll come in handy if I have to spend time with you.”

And the need to apologize disappears

Chapter Text

He thanks the Gods or whatever else is out there when he finds an opening in one of the many abandoned buildings. After a quick sweep, finding the place empty of infected, he feels the need to kneel and just scream ‘ thank you ’ to a divine figure he doesn’t even believe in.

Of course he doesn’t do that. Instead, he sits down on a dusty chair, rifle secured in his grasp. The kid, who still hasn’t said another word since their little argument, looks around the place in amazement.

“We’ll stay the night here. Go ahead and get some sleep, I’ll take watch.” Not having listened to him, she keeps walking around. “Ellie.” Without so much as a grunt of confirmation, he gets annoyed, again . “ Ellie .” He says, this time louder. Turning around, she looks truly confused, as if she actually hadn’t heard him before. “I said you can find somewhere to lay down and sleep for a while.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.” Walking straight to the center of the room, she leaves her bag on the floor and lays down with her back to him, resting her head on it. “Aren’t you going to sleep?”

“I’ll take watch, make sure no one sneaks up on us.” Suddenly, she turns around, wide-eyed.

“Could that happen?” He decides not to snap at her, seeing as she’s only a kid who has stepped foot outside the QZ for the first time that same night.

“It isn’t likely, but if it does happen, I’ll be awake.” Her eyes then move from his face to the rifle in his hands.

“ Oh . Okay.” He expects her to turn around and go to sleep, her curiosity satisfied by his answers. Instead, she stays still, never closing her eyes. “Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“About before…” she takes a few breaths before continuing, probably trying to find the right words to say. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. So… yeah .” She doesn’t even look him in the eyes as she speaks, most likely too embarrassed. 

He could tell her ‘ don’t worry about it, kid. It’s alright, I’m not mad ’, which is the truth. But that’d mean bonding with the girl, which in turn would mean getting closer to her, which eventually would end up in caring for her.

He knows it’s a reach, a far one at that, but he can’t take the risk. He’s with her to get a job done, to achieve a goal and help humanity along with it. He’s not here to play house with a fourteen-year-old that reminds him too much and too little of someone he’s been missing for twenty years. He can’t risk it. He won’t . No matter how hard it’ll be.

He won’t get attached to the kid.

He won’t.

Knowing himself, he might.

But he won’t .

He just can’t .

“Just go to sleep.” Distance, that’s what they need. If being a jerk to her is what it takes, so be it. And as she scoffs and turns around, he succeeds in his task. He keeps his plan in motion. He should be happy. He should . So why does it feel so awful?

………………

“Jesus fucking Christ. How’d this happen?” The girl, oblivious to any danger, climbs until she reaches the top of a crater on the side of the road.

“Bombs.” He keeps walking, if he has to stop every time she finds something interesting, they will never get to their destination.

“ Bombs ? What? Why ?” As quickly as she got up, she got down, running to his side.

“Didn’t they teach you that in school?” She just scoffs, kicking a stray rock on the path.

“I went to FEDRA school, remember? They didn’t teach any useful or interesting shit in that hellhole. I don’t even think the teachers know what they’re doing most of the time. I’m lucky I even know how to fucking read .” She chuckles slightly, finding it funny. Him on the other hand, doesn’t find the fun in that. How can FEDRA fuck up so badly that they can’t even teach kids a bit of history?

“When the Outbreak happened, the governments thought the only way to prevent the virus from spreading was to bomb the cities. It’d get innocent people killed, for sure, but dead people can’t get infected.” He gives her the short version. She seems okay with that. 

“That’s fucked up.”

“It is.” And that’s that, no further explanation, no further questions. They walk until their feet hurt, until they reach the hotel he knows has the best view of the road ahead.

“ Sheesh , what is this place?” His shoulder aches from opening the massive front door of the building all by himself, but he tries to hide the pain.

“A hotel.”

“For real? It’s bigger than I imagined.” He starts to get down the few steps to the lobby when her frightened voice makes him stop. “Uh, Joel?” Turning around, he sighs. “Do we really have to go through that?” She points to the flooded room.

“What? Afraid of a little water?”

“ No .” She sounds offended. “I just don’t-” scratching the back of her neck, she looks down “- I don’t know how to swim.”

“Seriously?” He’s not surprised, not really. How would a fourteen-year-old who’s never left the QZ know how to swim? Still, he finds the need to tease her.

“Where the fuck would I learn how to swim? A fucking bathtub?” He suppresses the need to chuckle, he won’t give her that satisfaction.

“No, smartass.” Getting down from the last step, he sets foot on the floor, water to his knees. “Do you know how to walk? Or didn’t they teach you that at that FEDRA school of yours either?” He continues on forward, hearing on his periphery the kid cursing at him.

“Fucking asshole.”

After ten flights of stairs, they reach the intended floor. His knees hurt and he’s out of breath, the downsides of getting old, he guesses. The kid throws some comments his way, all about his age and the decline in his health, he tries to tune them out.

Reaching the balcony is not that hard, the door is pretty jammed, but after a few good slams, it opens up wide. The moment he looks down to the street though, his blood runs cold. So much for the easier route.

The entire avenue is filled with Infected, making it impossible for them to get past it, and if he’s being honest, he’s not a fan of the alternative.

“What are we going to do now?” Resting his elbows on the railing, he runs his hands over his face.

“Go another way.”

“Well, duh . But is it far away? Dangerous? If we came this way first, then that means you don’t really want to go the other way, right? Will we get killed there? Infected?” His thumbs try to massage his temples, a headache not too far away.

“Will you just shut up ?” He snaps at her, and even though he feels a bit bad for doing it, he finds it the only way for her to listen. “I need to think.”

“You know? You don’t need to be an asshole all the goddamn time.” Walking away, she sits down on a run-down outdoor sofa. 

Twenty years ago, he would’ve sat by her side, apologized for everything he said, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and reassured her that he wasn’t angry at her. But this isn’t 2003, he isn’t the same Joel and that kid isn’t Sarah, so he stays put.

“There’s another route, but it’s a risk. We’ll have to take it if we want to get out of here though.” Standing straight, he makes his way to the door. “Come on, let’s go.”

………………….

“A museum? I’ve always wanted to go to one.” Kneeling on the ground, he searches for his flashlight.

“Yeah, well. You don’t really want to come to this one.” Scoffing, just like any teenager would do, she walks up straight to the door. “Hey! Don’t go in.” She stops right at the entrance, her hand hovering above the handle.

“ Jesus , okay. Okay.” Hands raised, she takes a step back.

“Are you that eager to get killed?” Rolling her eyes, she crosses her arms over her chest, her own flashlight on her right hand. “I always go first, got that? I’m the one with the weapons.”

“I could go first if you gave me one of those weapons.” He needs her to just stop complaining, glaring at her seems to do the trick.

“Stay right behind me. Quiet . I don’t want to hear a single thing from you.” 

“Okay, jeeze .”

He steps in quietly, minding every step he takes. He walks forward slowly, Ellie does the same just two steps behind him. He’s mindful of where and what he steps on, she seems to catch the drift fairly easily.

There are dead Runners and even Clickers everywhere, dried up, almost as if a heavy gush of wind came in through a window, they’d all fly away, turned into particles of mere dust. All in all, it’s a good sign.

If there are so many of them dead, that means that there’s a good chance all of them are more of the same, giving them a free pass through what used to be a living nightmare. Still, he takes every precaution. No loud noises, no talking and extreme caution in their step.

Before they know it, they’ve made it up the stairs. The door is a bit squeaky when he opens it, but he hopes there’s no one or nothing on the other side to hear it. He signals for Ellie to follow him, which she does without a fuss. For a second, he thinks he might be the luckiest motherfucker in the world, but then again, when has that been the case with him?

A piece of glass on the floor is all it takes. Too busy looking around the room, he fails to notice a shard of glass on the floor, stepping on it. The noise it makes is fairly quiet, but that’s coming from him, the guy who’s deaf in one ear. It’s not the same for those around him.

A very familiar clicking can be heard somewhere in the room. He hears Ellie’s soft gasp, and without a single word, he grabs her arm, guiding her towards a wall, making her press her back to it. 

The grasp on his revolver tightens. He’s got six bullets in the chamber, hopefully he won’t have to use any, but knowing himself and his luck, he might even have to reload. Still, he’ll make sure to sneak away rather than engage.

He feels Ellie panicking next to him, and not wanting her to get the Clickers’ attention, he makes her look at him. With a simple gesture, he lets her know not to make a single sound and to follow him as quietly as possible.

There’s a screech to their right, and suddenly an oblivious Clicker comes strolling in. Head moving in every direction, it tries - but thankfully fails - to find them. Meanwhile, they keep going forward, and he makes sure to look back at her from time to time to see if she’s still following him. She’s always right there.

He can see the window, the only way out. It’s so close he can almost touch it, but clicking to their right makes him stop in his place. One of the two Clickers in the room is walking right towards them, if he opens the window with it right there, they won’t have enough time to get away.

He thinks about waiting for it to just walk away, but what if it goes straight to them? What if they don’t have time to react? Suddenly, a hand on his back makes him turn around. Ellie, white as a sheet, points backwards, where another Clicker is making its way towards them.

They are fucked .

Chapter Text

Completely surrounded, that’s how they are. There’s no way he’ll be able to open that window and get them both out of the room before one of those Clickers gets to them. He needs a plan, and time is running out.

Nothing comes to mind, he can’t see a viable plan. Is this how he dies? Locked in a room with a child, both turned to pieces by Clickers? Fuck this.

Right as one of the creatures gets to them, he feels Ellie crouch down to the floor, followed by a loud crack on the other side of the room. Suddenly, both Clickers turn their heads, running straight to the other wall, where Ellie- being impressively clever - threw a nearby brick.

Not wanting to waste another second, he reaches the window, opening it up and helping Ellie out. As expected, they make too much noise and both Clickers turn back around and run straight to them. Thankfully, he’s already halfway through the window, and once they reach them, he’s managed to close the window and cross over the plank between the two buildings. Still, not entirely sure if they are safe, he takes the plank and sees as it falls down to the ground just as both creatures break the window and stumble out to the roof.

“ Jesus . Look at those things.” Without even noticing, the kid has planted herself right on his side, eyes fixed on the wandering Clickers on the roof. “I thought we were toast for a second.” They were, if it wasn’t for her quick thinking. He’d never tell her that, of course. It was just a one time thing, it’ll never happen again because he’ll never be so reckless. She doesn’t need to go around thinking she’s a great mastermind and putting herself in danger.

“Well, we aren’t.” Her eyes quickly shift to him. “Let’s get a move on, it’s getting late.” She stays put for a bit, but follows as soon as he starts to go down the ladder. Thankfully, it reaches all the way down, but it is a pretty long stretch, which gives the girl time to keep talking. Figures.

“Have you ever killed one of those?” He thinks about not answering, trying to keep a distance and all, but that’d be plain rude. 

“Yeah, a few times.” He catches a scoff coming her way.

“Didn’t seem that way.” Finally, he reaches the ground, and his blood starts to boil from her words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Getting down as well, Ellie doesn’t even look at him as she keeps walking.

“Nothing.” Taking three long strides, he takes a hold of her shoulder, making her stop and turn around to face him.

“That was not nothing.” Crossing her arms, she rolls her eyes. Fucking teenagers .

“It just didn’t seem like you knew what to do back there.” He bites the inside of his lip, trying not to explode. “Way I see it, I saved our asses. Maybe I should lead from now on.” She says nonchalantly, even shrugging as she speaks. It drives him crazy.

“Let’s get one thing straight, shall we?” Again with the shrugging, this time out of spite, he seems to notice. “I do know what I’m doing, but it’s impossible to do everything right. And yes, you did save our asses this time, but we will not make this an everyday thing, get it?” She frowns, a mix of disappointment and anger. “I messed up today, I won’t lie about that.” She seems shocked at his honesty, hell , even he’s surprised by it. “But I’m still in charge of your safety, so you’ll listen to me .”

“I get it.” Dropping her arms to dangle on her sides, she keeps talking. “But wouldn’t it be better if I helped you instead of just trailing behind you doing nothing? I can handle myself, Joel. If you gave me a gun-”

“ No. ” He’ll let her throw as many bricks and bottles as she wants, but he won’t give a kid a gun.

“I can handle myself.” She’s persistent, he’ll give her that.

“I said no . Sure, you can handle yourself with bricks and a little switchblade, but a gun is a completely different story, and I’m not in the mood to get shot by a kid.” He can see her wanting to continue arguing, but he’s had enough. “You won’t get a gun, and that’s final.” Walking right past her, he can hear her grunting and cursing him under her breath.

“ Fucking asshole .” He’d rather have her insulting him behind his back rather than her putting a bullet through it. No matter how annoying she’ll be the rest of the way. Which she’ll definitely be.

Lord have mercy .

…………………

It starts with kicking small rocks as they walk, then it goes from that to trying to whistle but miserably failing. He could count with the fingers in one hand how many times she’s just walked , no talking, no fidgeting, no kicking, no singing, no whistling, just silence .

He’s a patient man, he has to be to run a whole rebellion. He’s had to deal with a lot of annoying and tedious problems, but nothing’s made him go as crazy as this kid has.

“Are you always this boring?” Just a few days ago he scrapped the idea of not answering her questions, because it’d be rude, but right now he doesn’t give a crap about being an asshole. “ Hello ? You with me or are you spacing out?” He won’t even open his mouth. “ Jeez , you really are an asshole.” Walking faster, she gets in front of him, walking backwards so she can see his face. “Were you born this dull? Or are you like this on purpose? A style choice?” The only answer he gives her is a glare. “ Wow , okay man. No need to look at me like that. I’m just so fucking bored . There’s nothing to do, nothing to see, just the same run-down, old buildings and you won’t talk to me because you are fucking liveless. I’d talk to myself, but I’d go crazy after a while. So tell me, what am I supposed to do?”

“Walk.” Suddenly, she freezes, making him stop in his spot before he runs into her. “What the hell, Ellie?”

“You can’t be serious, dude.” With little to no force, she pushes him backwards. “You can’t seriously expect me to silently walk all the way to Salt Lake City. I’m not a fucking dog, you know?” 

“Oh trust me, I know .” He tries to get past her, but she stops him with a hand on his arm. “What do you want me to say, kid?” They stare at each other, one waiting for an answer, the other trying to come up with one.

“I don’t know.” Raising an eyebrow, he takes one step forward only to be stopped by Ellie once again. “And I get that you aren’t a really talkative guy, but we are going to be spending a lot of time together, and if I have to keep quiet any longer, I’ll burst. So I need you to at least have some sort of conversation with me.” He stares at her for a few seconds before sighing and giving in.

“Fine.” Trying again, he walks forward, no one stops him this time. Instead, she mirrors his speed, walking right alongside him.

“Okay. Great.” She looks too excited by the simple prospect of talking to him. “I have an idea.”

“Shoot.” Grinning from ear to ear, she looks at him.

“Let’s play twenty questions.” He can’t help but scoff, he hasn’t played that since he was in highschool. “Oh, come on. It’ll be fun.” His eyes move from the path ahead of him, to her.

“Alright, fine. But no personal questions.” Outraged, she stares at him wide-eyed.

“But that’s not fun!”

“No extremely personal questions.” Sighing, she seems to give in. “And I get the right to pass whenever I feel like it gets too personal.”

“What? Only you?” So she has things to hide too, good to know.

“You can too, don’t get jealous.”

“Cool. Okay, let’s see.” Getting in front of him, she walks backwards once again. “I got it. Where are you from? And don’t tell me that’s too personal, I’ll throw a rock at your face.” She tries to look tough, she fails miserably.

“No murdering today, please. I’m from Texas, a small town near Austin.”

“Pretty far away then.” He just nods. “I’m from Boston.”

“I didn’t ask you.” She seems taken aback. “Saved me a question.” Knowing she gave a response for free, she curses under her breath.

“That reminds me. New rule. You can’t repeat questions.”

“Fair enough.” Satisfied with his answer, she smiles. “My turn then.” She gets a skip in her step as she waits for his question. “Okay, what’s your favorite color?”

“That’s it ? That’s your question?” He just shrugs. “Okay then, boring old man. My favorite color is green.”

“Mine too.” He adds with no prompt. His addition seems to satisfy her if the sparkle in her eyes is any indication.

“Cool! We have something in common then. Do you have any siblings?”

“A brother, Tommy.”

“Is he-?” She doesn’t need to add anything else.

“I hope so.” He could’ve just told her that was an extra question, but he’s trying not to be too much of dick. “Do you have any siblings?”

“We said no repeats, but no. No siblings. At least that I know of.” The mood gets a bit grim after that. Thankfully, Ellie remedies it. “Have you ever jumped off a bridge?” Surprised, he raises an eyebrow, not expecting that.

“What kind of question is that?” A shrug is the only answer she gives him. “Well, I’m still here ain’t I? Surely I’d be dead if I’d done that.”

“Well, duh . But I’m not talking about that. Riley told me that people from before used to do it for fun or something like that. She said they jumped down with their feet tied to a rope so that they wouldn’t die.” That makes a lot more sense.

“Bungee jumping, you mean?”

“Whatever’s called, I don’t know. You’ve never done it?” She sounds extremely interested in the topic.

“You are not going to jump off a bridge when I’m not looking, are you?” All he gets is a cheeky smile. “I’ll take that as a no. And to answer your question, no, I’ve never been bungee jumping. Tommy has, though, showed me a few videos. Not my thing.”

“I guess that’s fair. Still, it sounds amazing, I wish I could try it. Don’t think I ever will though.” She looks pensive for a few seconds before getting back to her joyous self.

“I think that’s for the better.”

They never get to ask twenty questions and he’s thankful for it. There’s a limit to how many trivial questions he’s willing to answer, and that is right as they get to the gates of Lincoln.

“What is this place?”

“I know the people that live here. They’ll help us get a car.” Punching in the code to the electrified gate, the door opens. He gets in first, holding it open for Ellie to get past. It doesn’t even take a minute for Bill to come barrelling towards them, the usual frown on his face.

“What the hell are you doing here? And who the fuck is that kid?”

Straight to the point, no surprises there.

Chapter Text

“Bill, this is Ellie, I’m taking her to Salt Lake. Ellie, this is Bill, my uh-” he lingers, not knowing what to label it “an acquaintance of mine.”

“Hi, I’m Ellie.” The girl extends her hand forward, waiting for Bill to shake it. Instead, he secures his hand around the gun in his holster.

“Any of you bit?” Knowing how paranoid he is, it doesn’t surprise him that that’s the first thing he asks.

“We are not bit-”

“Bill! Stop interrogating our guests!” He lets out a sigh of relief once he hears Frank’s voice, watching him stroll towards them, a smile on his face. As usual. “Joel! It’s been a while, how’s Tess?”

“She’s fine. Holding down the fort back in Boston.” Nodding, he extends his hand towards Ellie, unlike Bill, she does take it.

“And who would this lovely lady be?” The girl blushes slightly, but hides it pretty quickly.

“I’m Ellie.”

“Well, Ellie, nice to meet you. I’m Frank.” Releasing her hand, Frank places an arm around Bill’s shoulders, getting him to relax. “Don’t mind his manners, he’s a bit schizophrenic.”

“I’m not schizophrenic.” The man just pats his shoulder.

“Sure you aren’t. Why don’t we get you inside? I’m sure you’d like something to eat and a hot shower.” Ellie’s eyes sparkle.

“Hell yeah.” Frank chuckles, while Joel just glares at her.

“ Ellie .”

“What? I haven’t had a hot shower in years.” As Frank moves towards the house, Ellie trails along, a skip in her step, leaving him with Bill. None of them move or speak, just staring at the two figures animatedly chatting until they disappear inside the building.

“What do you need?” His tone isn’t accusatory, he just knows that he only visits when he needs something from him.

“A car.” A scoff escapes Bill’s mouth.

“Sure. Joel needs a car.” Turning around, he starts to walk away. He follows.

“I need to get her to Salt Lake, walking there is too dangerous and it’d take us ages.”

“Yeah, well, I need that car too.” He thought as much.

“Come on, Bill. You know I’ll repay you. Whatever you need, you’ll get. Talk to Tess, she’s still in Boston, I’m sure she’ll be able to send you anything you need.” Bill doesn’t slow down.

“If you have anything I need, why are you here asking for my car? Couldn’t you get one yourself?”

“I had to smuggle the kid out of the city, didn’t want any attention on us. If I had taken one of our cars, it would’ve been over for us.” Right at the front door, Bill stops. He just waits.

“The battery doesn’t work. We’ll have to make one.” Without another word, the older man opens the door and gets inside the house. “I’ll go make dinner. Frank should be finishing up his painting, you know where to find him.” Sure enough, the man is sitting on his stool, getting the final touches to one of the many Bill portraits he’s done. He walks in quietly, trying not to disturb.

“Joel, get in, get in. Ellie’s taking a shower, I left her some clean clothes on the bed, same for you.” Getting to the chair closest to the man, he sits down admiring his work.

“Thank you, Frank. You really didn’t have to.” 

“Nonsense, you’ll always be our guests. Friends help out friends, right?” There’s a reason he likes Frank so much.

“Yeah, can’t say that about many people nowadays though.” The man chuckles, never taking his eyes off his canvas.

“We’re lucky then.”

“Sure we are.” He leaves him to his work while he just watches, mesmerized by the abundance of colors in a single painting.

He can’t really recall how many times he’s been to this house. If his memory serves him right, it’s been at least fifteen years since he first stepped foot in here, all thanks to Tess and her recklessness to talk to strangers on the radio. Thankfully, it worked out alright.

Frank is a delightful man, always smiling, always positive. It drives him a bit crazy sometimes, how he’s able to maintain that mindset even after all that’s happened, but for the most part, it’s incredibly calming.

Bill on the other hand, is the closest thing to himself he’s ever seen. He’s slightly more paranoid than he is, considering he used to be a survivalist. Still, he relates the most to him, no matter how cold he always is towards him.

“Seems like your girl has finished showering.” The sound of water running has stopped, and after giving her a few minutes to get dressed, he finds his way up the stairs to what used to be Frank and Bill’s room a few years ago, left unused once getting up the stairs started to be a hassle. Before he gets in, he knocks on the door.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah!” She screams from the other side, giving him permission to finally open the door. The moment he does, he sees her on a new set of clothes, hair still wet and loose, snooping around the room. “Is he so full of himself that he needs to have not one, not two, but five portraits of himself in his bedroom?” Taking a look around, he cringes internally at the sight. 

Just as Ellie stated, there’s five paintings of Bill all over the walls. For someone who doesn’t know Bill and Frank and their dynamic, he knows what it must look like. But after knowing them for almost fifteen years, he knows the complete and utter love Frank has for Bill, which makes the sight less weird - although still uncomfortable.

“I wouldn’t exactly say that.” He scratches the back of his neck as he walks towards Ellie, who is enthralled with one of the portraits. “Frank makes these. Almost all he does is paint Bill.” The kid’s eyes move from the canvas to his face, in complete awe of his words.

“Frank painted these? Wow , the guy’s good. I could never paint on canvas, paper suits me well enough, but I’ve always wanted to try.”

“Well, he’s painting downstairs. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to teach you some things.” Suddenly, Ellie’s hands wrap around his forearm, excited with the prospect of painting with Frank.

“Are you serious? You think he wouldn’t mind?” Before he realizes it, he finds himself smiling down at the girl, even chuckling slightly at her excitement.

“Yeah, I’m sure, kid. Just go ask him yourself, I need to take a shower.” As quickly as her hands held onto his arm, she lets them fall, planting a fake disgusted look on her face.

“ Oof , yeah. You do stink.” That earns her a glare her way, which she doesn’t seem to mind.

“Get lost, smartass.”

“Gladly, old man.” Closing the door behind her, she leaves him alone in the room. 

“Alright, hot shower it is.”

…………………..

“I love this one!” That’s the fifth or sixth time she’s voiced those same words, but she can’t help herself. No matter if it is another portrait of Bill, a simple field filled with flowers or a bunch of rabbits, she loves every single one of Frank’s works. “Sorry if I sound like a broken record, but the only paintings I’ve seen in real life are the same two I saw every day at school, and they weren’t exactly good .”

“Don’t worry, Ellie. I’m really happy that you like them. Bill is so used to seeing them that he doesn’t say anything about them anymore, it’s lovely to see you enjoy them.” Frank’s hand rests on her shoulders reassuringly, which she appreciates.

“I tried painting on canvas once. Didn’t work out too well. Too much paint, too little space, I guess.” She blushes slightly at the admission of failure, but Frank just squeezes her shoulder a little tighter for a few seconds, an enormous grin on his face.

“It takes time and practice.”

“I guess. I think I’ll stick to pen and paper for now though.” He stares at her wide-eyed, and she’s afraid she might’ve said something wrong. “What?”

“You can draw and you didn’t tell me? Come on, show me.” She feels a sense of relief at his words, letting a smile take over her face.

“Alright!” As she goes to take off her backpack, she realizes she doesn’t have it with her. “ Fuck , I left it upstairs. I’ll go get it.” Releasing his soft hold on her, Frank lets her go. “I’ll be right back.” As she gets to the staircase, she sees Joel getting down, her backpack in his hand. “Hell yeah, I was just looking for that.” As he steps down to the ground, he hands her the bag, which she gladly takes from his hold.

“Don’t go leaving your stuff all over the place, always keep your things with you.”

“I thought we were safe here.” She frowns in confusion.

“We are, I just don’t want you to make a habit of it.” Scoffing, she bends down, opening her backpack and looking for her notebook.

“I’m not stupid, Joel.” He seems a bit taken aback, but recovers pretty quickly.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” Once she finds what she’s looking for, he’s already started to walk away.

“Well, fuck you too, man.” Not even turning around, he gets in what she guesses is the kitchen. Not really caring about it, she goes back to Frank.

…………………..

“I hope you didn’t use all of our hot water.” Not even sparing a glance his way, Bill continues to cook meat on the stove.

“Don’t think so.” Leaning back on the counter, he stares at the man’s work. It sure smells delicious.

“There’s beer in the fridge.” With no ‘ please ’ or ‘ thank yous ’, he grabs two bottles and opens them, one for himself and one for Bill who takes a really long sip the moment he hands it to him. “So what’s the deal with the girl? I’m assuming you aren’t taking her all the way to Utah on the goodness of your heart.” 

Ever since they got through the gate, he’s been trying to decide whether he should tell him the truth or not. He trusts them both, he knows they won’t tell a soul - not that there’s anyone they talk to aside from Tess and himself. Still, the thing with Ellie is too big of a deal to go spreading around. The fifteen years of what could be considered ‘ friendship ’ wins in the end.

“She’s immune.” The man’s hand stills as he’s about to flip the beef, but his eyes never leave the stove. “The hospital in Salt Lake has doctors that’ve been trying to find a cure for years. She might be the key.” Without a single word, Bill chugs the whole beer before leaving the bottle on the counter. “So, yeah .” Unlike Bill, he takes a small sip, happy for the flavor in his mouth.

“I guess you do need our car more than we do.” As he lets out a chuckle, Bill starts to giggle . An honest-to-God giggle comes out of the stone-cold man. “I’ll be damned. Joel traveling all over the country with the key to save humanity, who would’ve thought?” Suddenly, Bill grabs the bottle from his hands and takes a damn long sip before giving it back. “ Fucking Fireflies. You never give up, do you?”

“Guess not.” Drinking the rest of the beer, he sets it aside. “Need any help?” Waving a dismissing hand, the older man gets back to his work.

“I’m almost done, go look for the other two.” With a simple nod, he gets out of his hair, following the familiar path to Frank’s studio.

“And this is- was , the view from my window. I could draw it from memory by now.” Stepping into the room, he finds both Frank and Ellie completely engrossed in a notebook with what seems to be Ellie’s work. Taking a quick look, he finds that the girl has talent.

“Having fun, you two?” Turning her head around, she gives him a mischievous smile.

“ Oh , now I know how I couldn’t feel you coming in, there’s no stench .” Giving her an unamused glare, he fixes his eyes on Frank.

“Dinner’s almost ready.”

“ Fuck yeah. It smells amazing.” Quickly standing up, she makes a v-line to the door, where he’s standing.

“I took the liberty of telling Bill that you are a vegetarian. I’m afraid what you are smelling is only for us three.” She stands still, eyes wide open, staring at him, and for a second it looks like she might’ve fallen for his lie. Suddenly, her fist collides with his shoulder, making him take a step backwards.

“You are an asshole. Your jokes aren’t funny, dude.” After that she just storms off, leaving Frank and him chuckling as they follow her. Once they reach the dining room, Bill’s placing the food on the table, Ellie already occupying her spot. As he reaches for the chair next to hers, she stops him. “You are not sitting here. You’re an asshole.”

“Oh, well, where am I supposed to sit, your majesty ?” Glaring at him angrily but with a spark of playfulness, she pushes the chair closer to the table.

“Go sit on the piano bench for all I care.” Sitting down on their respective spots, Bill and Frank stare amused at the scene unfolding before them.

“Stop being a baby and let me sit.” Trying to get the chair out from under the table turns out to be too difficult.

“You’ll have to give me half of your food.”

“ Ellie .”

“A piece, then.” After a few seconds of staring at each other, he gives in.

“Fine.” Without another word, she lets go of the chair and quickly takes a piece of meat from his plate and eats it. “Jesus Christ.” Sitting down, he gives both Frank and Bill an apologetic look.

“ Wow . Just wow. This is the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted.” After that, she starts devouring her food.

“Thanks.” Is all Bill says in return, digging in his food extremely slower than her.

“Slow down, will you?” With a side glance and a full mouth, she just frowns. “You are going to choke.”

“Worth it.” Grabbing as much food as possible with her fork and not even finishing what’s in her mouth, she eats it all.

“ Jesus .” Deciding not to look at her any more, he digs in himself. “It really is delicious, Bill.”

“He could’ve been a chef, I keep telling him.” Says Frank before taking a sip of his wine.

“You weren’t?” With a simple shake of his head, Bill keeps eating. “ Dude , you can cook this well and you only cooked for yourself?” Frank laughs out loud at Ellie’s indignant tone. “That’s plain selfish.”

“ Ellie , quit it.” The girl surely can’t keep her mouth shut.

“What? It’s true.” Taking a loaf of bread, she dips it on the plate. “I would’ve paid millions to eat this shit.” Looking closely at Bill, he can see the man blushing slightly. He’ll be damned. “Are you sure he can’t come with us? Our own private chef. That’d be awesome considering Joel can’t cook for shit.” Sighing, he decides not to comment, continuing to eat.

“I’m sorry Ellie, but I think we’ll both stay here.” The smile doesn’t leave Frank’s face. “We’re too old to go on those types of adventures.”

“Joel’s as old as you and he’s taking me.” She says without batting an eye. This time both Frank and Bill laugh as he glares at Ellie.

“I’m not that old, Ellie.” She scoffs.

“ Sure , if you say so, old man.” Finishing her glass of water, she eyes the bottle of wine. “Could I have some of that?”

“No. You get more water.” He sounds stern, and that’s because he’ll be stern in that regard, he won’t let a kid drink.

“Oh, come on. Just a glass. Wine is like grape juice.” Extending the glass towards Frank, she tries to give him puppy eyes.

“No, Ellie. That’s final. Frank-” he looks at the smiley man “- don’t, please.” Glaring at him, Ellie leaves the glass back on the table, scoffing and crossing her arms.

“You’re an asshole. A grumpy, annoying, old asshole, just so you know.” Unaffected by her words, he keeps eating.

“You’ve got a wild one, huh?” Bill comments as he sets his fork aside.

“Sure do.” He feels a kick on his leg, but doesn’t comment on it. “And it’s only been four days, don’t even want to think about the rest of the way to Utah.”

“ Dipshit .” She whispers under her breath as she lays back on her chair.

“I’d be careful during the night, this one might kill you in your sleep.” As Frank slaps Bill’s arm playfully, Joel just snorts.

“Can’t say I haven’t thought about it.” All eyes turn to Ellie, who just shrugs. “What? You could’ve been a pedophile or something, had to be prepared.” No one says anything for a few seconds, so he decides to break the silence.

“Fair enough.”

“Doesn’t mean I’d do it now.” Her frown dissipates a bit as she looks at him. “Don’t worry, old man. You won’t die, not by my hand, at least.”

“That’s comforting.” The knowledge of her not thinking of him as a fucking pedophile surely is comforting, he won’t lie. Getting her to trust him and feel at least a bit comfortable around him is nice. Truth be told, the kid isn’t that bad, she’s good company, and against his better judgment, she’s a good kid. 

“By old age, though? That shit’s right around the corner. Wouldn’t get too comfortable if I were you.”

Doesn’t take away the fact that she’s a smartass little brat, though.

Chapter Text

How’d that Michael Bublé song go? 

‘ Summer turned to winter and the snow, it turned to rain. And the rain turned into tears upon your face. ’

Yeah, that. He doesn’t remember much else from the song, but he’s pretty sure it talked about time passing and losing someone, something of the sort. For him though, time is passing - it’s been a week since they left Bill and Frank’s.

And he’s also losing, but not someone, but something . His fucking mind .

They only stayed one night in Lincoln, much to Ellie’s dismay, eager to eat more of Bill’s food. He can’t blame her, he’d suffer living with Bill just to keep eating his food, but they needed to get going.

They got the truck to work, somehow . It took them - mostly Bill if he’s being honest - hours to make a usable battery, but they got it done in the end. And Ellie? She was ecstatic to be in a vehicle and she let everybody know just how much.

“ This looks like a fucking spaceship, Joel! ” or “ What does this do? Will it eject my seat? Does it have that? I’ve seen it in a bunch of movies .” His favorite though, was “ Can I drive? ” He really got a kick out of that one, especially since she actually thought he’d say yes.

Evidently, he said no, and after getting as many supplies as they were lucky enough to get from Bill and Frank in the truck, they said their goodbyes and rode off.

Ellie was having a blast. Looking out the windows, looking through every single compartment, playing the only cassette over and over again trying to learn the lyrics until he got too annoyed and made her stop… All in all, she was distracted, which meant she didn’t bother him with annoying questions as much. Until day two, that is.

He found out that the attention span of a teenager - this teenager, he’d say - isn’t that long. Turns out, she doesn’t like doing the same things every day, and as she exhausted every possible thing to do inside a car during the first 24 hours, she had nothing to do the next day or any other after that.

Nothing but more questions and his newest worst nightmare, puns .

“ I got hit in the head by a book today. I only got my ‘shelf’ to blame .”

You understand his desperation now, right? It’s not two or three puns per day, no. Ellie’s decided that the best way to do it is to read three pages a day. Three pages . With an average of six puns per page, that makes it around eighteen puns every single day. Him going crazy is the best outcome in this situation, it’s the only way he found to tune out the persistent flux of awful jokes.

“ I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a ‘waist’ of time. ”

She found that one extremely funny. So much so, that she went out of her way to find more time-related puns and jokes, making him want to stop time so he could get that stupid book she treasures so much and throw it out the window. But he can’t physically do that, nor would he do that.

He just drives, checks around for any danger, tries to find gas and most importantly, tunes her out whenever he feels like he’s about to explode.

“ Do hungry time-travelers ever go back four seconds? ”

“ 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.”

Fuck WIll Livingston and fuck puns.

………………

“You could take a nap, you know?” She tries to come out as nonchalant, but he knows better.

“What, so you can drive?” Turning to face him, she smiles broadly, showing all her teeth. “Forget it kid.” Her grin drops, replaced by a frown and a huff.

“You are a dickhead.” She’s gotten used to insulting him whenever she doesn’t get what she wants, which is common in kids her age, he guesses. Sa- she was never like that, so he wouldn’t really know. 

“Do you have to insult me every single time you address me?” He doesn’t mind that much, not really. He does almost the same, but never to her degree. She just puffs in return. “Don’t pff me. You can’t get upset every time I tell you no.”

“I know that, jack-” he glares at her, making her stop talking. “I know that, Joel .”

“Well, doesn’t seem that way.” He tries to rile her up with that one, and he gets exactly what he wants.

“Oh, fuck you man.” Leaning forwards and towards him, she points a finger at him. “You just have an asshole voice, you know that? It makes me want to throw every single insult your way. And I think you do it on fucking purpose.” Deeming it menacing enough, she lays back once again, crossing her arms over her chest. “ Asshole .” He can’t help but chuckle at her outburst.

He loves teasing her. She’s a brat who annoys him constantly, it’s only fair that he gets to do the same from time to time, even if it ends up with her spewing every single insult known to man.

“You are just so fucking boring.” Guess she isn’t done- “You expect me to stay quiet the whole time. I thought that after all these days together, you’ll know that that’s almost impossible.”

“A man can dream.” Not being able to hold herself any longer, she punches him in the arm, making him swerve the truck, taking a second for him to drive it straight again. “You are a pest.” Huffing, she gets her eyes back on the road, frowning so hard it looks like her eyes are closed.

Even after her outburst, she stays quiet for at least thirty minutes, which is new. He appreciates it, even though he knows she isn’t doing it for his benefit. Still, it gives him time to take in their surroundings. They’re fairly close to Kansas City, he notices, meaning that they are going faster than he anticipated, which is extremely good.

They are getting closer to Utah, and the closer they get, the more he starts to wonder if he should make a pitstop first. Every time he thinks of the journey ahead, an image of Tommy appears in his brain clear as day.

It’s been at least eight years since he’s seen his younger brother, ever since he left his ass because he couldn’t take his ‘ autodestructive tendencies ’ any longer. Well, forgive him for trying to make this fucked up world a better place.

The last time he spoke to Tommy was the night before he disappeared. His last words to him being ‘ I don’t ever want to see your goddamn face again ’. Typical Tommy. Still, it’s been eight fucking years, and as much as his words and his actions hurt him, he’s made peace with them a long time ago.

If he’s being honest, he misses his baby brother. And it’s not like he’s lost all contact with him. He hasn’t spoken directly to him since he left, but he’s got eyes and ears almost everywhere, so he knows exactly where he is, which means that he knows he’s safe and sound.

There’s no reason for him to go to Tommy’s, no other than to just pay him a visit. Which is why he’s been so hesitant to even think about it. Is there a need to get the kid there? Shouldn’t he just drop her off and then go visit him? But he knows he won’t get to leave the hospital once they get there, there’d be too much at stake.

All in all, it only takes him thirty minutes to make up his mind.

“Uh- where are you going?” She’s been looking at the maps for so long, she knows the way from the back of her head. Seeing him take a different route sure makes her weary. “Salt Lake is that way.” She points to the road they just exited.

“I know.” She stays silent, probably waiting for him to elaborate. When he doesn’t, she closes the roadmap laying on her legs.

“You made me plan the whole trip with you for nothing?”

“There’s a change of plans, that’s all.” As he points at the map resting on her legs, she tries to get a closer look.

“Wyoming? What the hell is in Wyoming?”

“My brother.” Her head turns to him so fast he’s surprised she didn’t crack anything.

“You’ve got a brother?” Shaking her head in shock, she lays back down. “Wait wait, scratch that. You’ve got family ?” In other circumstances, he’d be offended, but knowing who he’s talking to, he doesn’t take it too personally.

“Yeah.” Puffing, she looks out the window, arms crossed.

“Well, good for you.” That earns a glance her way, surprised by her bitter tone. He knows the kid’s an orphan, she went to FEDRA’s military school after all. Besides, Riley did tell him about her when she first enlisted.

“It’s not like I have a close relationship with him. Not anymore, at least.” Her eyes find him, but doesn’t say anything. “I haven’t heard from him in eight years, give or take. So he might not even want to see me.”

“Why are we going there, then? If you aren’t sure?”

“Because it’s the only chance I’ll get to see him. I don’t find myself close to Wyoming too often, as you’ll understand.” With a shrug, she shifts her attention back to the scenery.

“Fair enough.” She doesn’t add anything else, neither does she ask any questions about their relationship, which he appreciates.

Time passes, and once he sees the sun start to set, he looks to his right, finding Ellie battling to keep her eyes open. Until she isn’t.

“Joel, look!” Pointing ahead, she leans forward. “There’s someone there.” He slows the truck down, but not too much. “He’s waving at us.” Something doesn’t feel right, and his senses start to dial up. “Is he hurt?”

“Put your seatbelt on.” Confused, she frowns. “ Ellie . Put it on. Now .” Seeing the seriousness in his face, she does as she’s told.

“You aren’t going to run him over, are you?” He presses the accelerator. She panics. “ Joel ! What the hell are you doing? You are going to kill him!” Suddenly, the backseat’s window breaks, a rock going through it. “ Fuck .” Before he can process what’s going on, a tree falls right in the middle of the road, too close for him to stop completely.

There’s a bang, and then there’s only darkness. Darkness and screaming.

“Get off of me, chickenshit

Chapter Text

Screaming. Explosions. Running. Breaking. Whimpers from the backseat.

‘ Daddy .’ Over and over again.

“Sarah?” He looks around, but he can’t see her. He can’t see anything . Smoke gets into his lungs, making it almost impossible to breathe.

Gunshots. Too many gunshots. And memories start to come back.

A man pleading for help. A fallen tree. An ambush. And then he remembers how to move.

“ Ellie? ” He screams from the top of his lungs. The belt comes off, and the floor is hard on his shoulder. He drags himself through broken glass, can’t even feel the pieces cutting through his clothes, through his skin. “ Ellie! ” He makes it out. The world spins all around him. Shouting to his right and his left, front and back. No sign of Ellie.

He runs, he hides, he looks. There’s no Ellie. No auburn hair. No ponytail. No green jacket. No kid. He panics. Was she shot? Was she taken? Did she run? He prays to God she ran. He prays she ran so fast no one could follow.

“There she is! Shoot her!” God’s never been good at hearing his prayers anyway.

Hiding behind a boulder, knife in hand, shaking. Surrounded. She won’t make it out, not unless he intervenes. He can’t see straight, not just yet. But his brain seems to be working just fine. There’s a gun on his holster, another one on the back of his jeans. The rifle long forgotten on the backseat of a wrecked truck.

He shoots. He misses. He shoots again. He gets one down. And then another. And another. The kid doesn’t move, thankfully. He misses more than he hits, but he’s got enough ammo to allow himself a few failures.

There are less and less people surrounding Ellie. His breathing gets easier, his sight clearer. He moves, weaves around covers. Getting to her isn’t easy, but that doesn’t stop him. Shot in the head. Shot in the back. Shot in the leg. One after another. Closer and closer to his goal.

He’s never either been as lucky or as skillful as today. Everyone shoots, but everyone misses. He just looks ahead, never backwards. He doesn’t spare a glance at all those bullets that could’ve hit him, only envisioning those that could .

His legs move faster than they’ve done in years, reaching Ellie in a few long strides. She doesn’t move, doesn’t look at him, only grabs the knife tighter. He doesn’t speak, only shoots. Once, twice, three times. Until there are no gunshots anymore.

He checks their surroundings three times. His finger never leaving the trigger. He finds no one, no one alive, that is. Everyone lays on the ground, in their own pool of blood. No one whimpers, no one begs, there’s no one left with enough strength to even breathe. He sinks to the floor.

They sit, side by side. One clutching a knife, one a revolver with an empty magazine, both of them panting so hard it hurts. Neither of them say a thing. She has her eyes fixed on the horizon, he has his own closed. Sweat dripping down his face, his back, his arms, moments away from getting dehydrated.

“You okay?” His own voice sounds hoarse, his throat completely dry. “Ellie?” He needs her to answer, to let him know she’s still with him, breathing. “Ellie, are you okay?” He feels her eyes burning holes on his skull even before he turns around.

“No.” It’s a mere whisper, but it reaches his good ear. He hurries, kneeling on her side, taking the knife from her trembling hands, leaving it on the ground. She’s completely stiff, he’s not even able to move her arms away. “Blood.” His heart stops. Blood? His blood? Their blood? Her blood ? “Hurts.” She sags in her spot, arms falling to the ground. A big patch of blood adorning her shirt.

“ Jesus .” He lays her down, softly, slowly.

‘Daddy. No, no! ’ Screams from the past hunt his mind. A ghost wraps her arms around him, begging him not to touch her, not to move her. He stops. He panics, but not for long.

His brain screams at him to get back to the present, to forget a past long gone. To focus on what’s in front of him, to help this hurt child he’s starting to care too much about.

‘ Get out of my head, Sarah. Baby, please .’

There’s no hole in Ellie’s chest, not even her stomach. He feels like he can breathe again. His eyes find a fairly deep graze, but nothing some alcohol, pressure and resting won’t heal. He stands up, running as fast as he can to the truck.

‘ Quick, dad. Help her. Don’t let her go. ’

All he’s able to grab are their backpacks, but it’s all they need. He hurries back to her side. She whimpers, cries, screams, punches, but there’s no more excessive bleeding anymore. He doesn’t mind the bruises she leaves him with, not if she’s still breathing.

‘ Thank you, dad. ’

“Can you sit up?” She squirms but does as she’s asked. He holds her hands, never letting go. “There you go. Good job, kiddo.” Even through her pain, she beams at the praise, and he kicks himself for not doing it sooner. “Drink up and then we’ll get you up, alright? We need to get somewhere safer.” She drinks as if she hasn’t tasted a drop of water in weeks, he does the same right after.

She tries standing up, but the pain doesn’t let her. The sun is starting to disappear, and if they don’t get a move on soon, they’ll be left out in the woods without a single source of light. He takes her in his arms.

“I know it hurts, kiddo. I know.” She squirms, but still wraps her arms tight around his neck, burying her face on his chest. He walks, no clear direction in mind, only looking for a place to rest.

It takes him longer than an hour, which almost makes him lose hope, but with so much luck even he can’t believe it, he spots a cabin in the distance. He just hopes it’s enough.