Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tony Stark was not meant to be walking around New York, for a list of reasons.

One; he was Tony Stark, breathing outside of a mansion or his tower would be seen as controversial, especially during the current political and social climate.

Two; he was still recovering from being nearly beaten to death by his ex-friend/ex-possible boyfriend and his brainwashed boyfriend.

Three; New York air was not good for his fragile lungs at the moment, coinciding with reason two.

Four; Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, and Dr. Cho—were going to give him an earful the second he got back to the compound. Tony can already feel the nagging and disappointed stares as he enters a fairly clear walkway.

He just couldn't stand being cooped up for much longer. The inside was so suffocating. Tony wasn't even allowed in most of his labs after being in the cradle for two months because Dr. Cho said he had a 76% chance of passing out due to overexertion while working. He was literally on probation from working; it’s been years, and they’re still hellbent on him relaxing.

The lot of traitors (not the ones he left on a different continent) he called friends happily agreed to keep Tony out of his lab. Friday directed him to a spa floor he didn't even remember having when he asked to be lifted to his lab.

Tony had a wonderful time there, and he believed that if he didn't already know magic existed, Evelyn's hands would've made him a believer. His ass will never be the same.

Pepper had literally dragged him to his room when he tried working on something for SI in the beginning months of his shut-in lifestyle. It was extremely hot, and if they were still dating, he definitely would have told her to fuck him right then and there. But he had class, okay, he wasn't going to impede on a relationship that he knew was going strong.

Rhodey was no less intimidating in a wheelchair. He seemed even more mother hen-like when he stared him down and crossed his arms. Tony joked that all he needed was a head-wrap and some knitting materials to make him feel properly chastised (and he didn't give in because he felt bad about making him hound him with a broken spine and paralyzed legs, no siree).

Happy had done a personal team-up with Dr. Cho to make sure he didn't fuck himself over after he was freed from the Cradle, and it was absolutely preposterous that she had called him up when he asked to be driven to his mansion so he could fuck around and do something. The doctor was not amused when she found him hobbling his way into the expensive house.

Tony was anything but a stagnant person. He didn't do recovery and hated sitting down for long periods of time. Being forced to sit down and relax for over two years was making him want to jump off a roof and skydive into moving traffic.

Internally, Tony cursed Peter and his creative ways to off oneself. This generation was doomed.

Sighing once again, Tony started to pace past a water fountain, wondering how long it would be until one of his friends hauled his ass back to the tower. He knew it wouldn't be long. He might as well enjoy the sights while he still can.

Deciding to sit down, he backpedaled towards the water enclosure and sat on the ledge. If he could prove to everyone that he could take care of himself, maybe they would ease up a bit. It would make headline news. Tony Stark Goes Outside, and the Earth Doesn't Implode on Itself!? Read more:

The genius chuckled to himself, looking towards the water riddled with pennies, quarters, and a floating body.

Pause.

Tony blinked a few times, took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and put them back on. As if the image of the person would disappear.

Nope, that floating body was still there.

Looking around, he noticed that nobody else was paying attention to the person who had been submerged underwater for a concerning period of time. Was he hallucinating? He told Dr. Cho not to give him certain drugs; his body did not take dextromethorphan well in larger amounts.

But, seeing as a few people looked over into the water for a second or two and moved on with their lives, Tony realized that this was simply just New York behavior that he forgot existed. And people thought he was weird for flying in a metal suit; normal people just walk past someone drowning themselves in a public fountain and call it 'New York behavior.'

No one else was concerned, but Tony was not about to let someone in good conscience drown themselves in broad daylight. What the hell was wrong with people?!

Getting on his knees (and fuck that hurt, was he getting that old?) and waving his hand throughout the water was the first thing he thought of. He didn't want to startle the person underwater. Touching them might cause a negative reaction, and he wasn't exactly fond of being accused of drowning someone. Pepper and his PR team would be livid.

The person moved as soon as Tony's hand breached the water. Their eyes flashed open and revealed a light gray that could be mistaken for blue.

Tony nearly jumped back as the figure sat up suddenly. The water barely moved when they shot up, which didn't make any sense, but what has ever made sense in his life nowadays? Nothing. Why did they look dry?

"Ah, good afternoon?" The person looked up to the sky, as if questioning the time of day. "Good afternoon, sir?"

The man blinks a few times—was that all they had to say? What would Tony even expect them to say in this situation? 'Sorry you had to see me submerging myself in water, it's just a pastime.'

"Good afternoon. Uh, do you mind me asking what you were doing? Y'know, drowning yourself and whatnot." Tony held back a shiver at the thought of willingly immersing yourself in a body of water. He was still averse to taking baths, no matter how much he needed one.

The person looked back at him, copying his blinking. "I'm not sure if you'd understand my answer. Most people just look at me funny." Weirdly enough, there was a bit of a southern tone that filtered into the obviously underused voice.

Tony shook his wet hand off and crossed his arms. "I've dealt with weird shit my entire life; hit me."

Grey eyes narrowed on her (theirs? his? its?) face and frowned. "Is that what you call an idiom? Because I don't really want to hit you. You're injured."

Questioning how she could tell from his hooded figure that he was obviously still in pain, he deflected, "are you another Norse god that Thor forgot to tell me about? I can't take any more of you."

The girl (or god?) snorted. "My father saw himself as a god, but he would spear me if I ever thought that of myself."

Okay, daddy issues. Or maybe spearing was common where they were from.

"Alright, not a god then; what are you?"

Rubbing their chin, they spoke, "I think humans call my kind mermaids, or sirens."

Tony stilled. His brain wanted him to laugh but made him curl up on himself and cry. A mermaid wannabe, just what he needed on his day off.

"I can tell that you don't believe me." They sighed, shocking Tony out of his internal struggle. "It would be hard for me to convince my own kind that I am one of them right now as well."

"I don't... not believe you." Tony tried to reason, feeling somewhat bad about the preposterous claim.

The 'mermaid' shook her head, saying, "Having an encounter with a food lady a few blocks down made me realize that land-dwellers see us as mythical. I understand my existence is quite questionable."

"What was this encounter?" Tony was interested now.

"I was looking for something to eat, as this state has little farms I can steal from. And when I entered this food place, the lady there asked me to pay, and I gave her pearls. She sighed and told me to take the food for free."

"Random question: what food was it?"

The girl tilted her head. "Something called butter chicken."

Tony snapped, "I love Ms. Sarahi; she saw me covered in grease and grime when I was 35 and told me to sit my ass down in a chair and eat. When I tried to pay her, she threw a burnt samoa at me."

"That sounds pleasant." The possible mermaid snickered. "But I really am a mermaid, I've been under the water for about 10 minutes, if that helps prove anything."

She's at the very least enhanced. A part of his brain noted. It wouldn't be far fetched to believe that.

"If you're really a half-fish, half-human, where's the tail? It's kind of a defining factor." Tony scanned his eyes over them. Would mermaids have as dark skin as they did? Tony was not a major in marine life.

They grimaced, "Like I mentioned before, even my own kind wouldn't recognize me as I am. You could say I was cursed. Or banned, I guess." They paused and smirked before continuing. "I can show you something that I bet no human can do naturally."

"I'm concerned and intrigued. Will it kill me?"

Shaking their head, they replied, "no, but it might give you a headache."

Tony skeptically nodded their head to their proposition; he's had worse than a migraine. His whole life was one huge bump on the head anyway.

They took a deep breath. Tony seized up in anticipation only to wince at something passing through him that he couldn't hear that well. It was piercing, like something carved through his gut, and he was hooked. Tony's eyelids popped, and his ears were severely confused. Though, before complaining, Tony heard a hum. It unhooked the claw that seemed to poke through his chest and soothed the ache forming in his brain.

He opened his eyes, not even noticing that he had closed them in the first place. "What the fuck was that?"

The probably-mermaid smiled. "Something you humans call echolocation, I think. I can make noises at a way lower level than most human ears can tell. It's actually way louder underwater. I got a lot of stares when I first started speaking. I was apparently yelling a lot."

Tony snorted at the thought of them screeching at a bunch of random people. "I'm sure that was hilarious. Tell me. Do your fishy powers also tell you if someone is injured?"

"Not exactly. I can smell your injuries, if that makes sense."

"It absolutely does not, but thanks for telling me." The billionaire sat back on the fountain, careful not to fall in. "This is really strange; I feel like I should be freaking out right now, but I'm not."

The mermaid rubbed their neck. "Oh, that's just me. I'll, uhm, stop now." Almost as if a layer of sound could be peeled off of his ears, Tony listened to the sounds of New York. Was it louder or quieter? He couldn't tell. "Was that... magic?" He cringed, not a fan of anything to do with magic at the moment, or preferably never.

"No, I just noticed that you weren't feeling well while speaking to me, so I went through a few sounds that I can make while talking to calm you down. I've been told I'm great with stress relief."

"I want a scan of your vocal chords right now." It was crazy how his brain had basically shut off while speaking. Tony hadn't even thought much about how much shit he was going to be in after leaving for so long. Until now, at least.

Chuckling, they nodded. "I wouldn't mind; I have nothing else to do."

This made Tony pause. "Wait, do you seriously have nowhere else to go?"

"Unless you count this fountain as suitable, I am what you humans call homeless. Though I prefer the term nomad."

Shocking another small laugh out of him, Tony shook his head. "Oh, I like you."

The man was thinking about helping the mermaid (Jesus, that was surreal to say) and giving her (he should ask what they were. Did mermaids—mermen—have the same gender system as them? a place to stay until the curse wore off or something. The thought of having something change your body completely made Tony shiver. He lost his mind when the witch fucked with his brain. How fucked up would it be to have your entire lower half altered?

A few possibilities of whether the being was trustworthy or not flashed through his brain, saying things like they could be a terrible person. What if they deserved to be cursed? There’s a chance they broke a big mermaid rule and had been banished to the realm of the land-dwellers. The billionaire pondered what lay underwater and shook his head. There were millions of other things he could think of that would be worse than living on land.

Turning his head to the now-person flicking their legs out of the fountain, hesitant to put them on the ground, he thought maybe not.

"Okay," he breathed out, making their head turn to them. "I’m not supposed to be outside right now, and I can’t, in good conscience, leave you out here in your oasis. So, god, this is so weird; would you like to come with me to my tower? I could probably build an aquarium or something for you, or would a pool be better?"

He nearly flinched at the patting of his arm, but he turned to see a concerned look on the mermaid's face. "If you do have the space, I wouldn’t mind a roof over my head. Going into homeless shelters made me feel bad. And you don’t need to build me an aquarium; I think they’re very expensive." She rubbed her hands, looking down. "And as much as I would like to stay underwater, my fingers begin to... wrinkle; it’s an unpleasant feeling."

Tony was about to point out that an aquarium would be no skin off his back, but then he realized that his monetary value was not particularly known to them.

"Wait, do you know who I am?" He asked stupidly.

They looked back up, squinting, "your face has been on a large poster or two. Are you a celebrity? Or a criminal?"

The way they spoke didn’t feel incriminating or condescending, so he laughed. "You could say yes to both. But my name is Tony Stark; nice to meet you." Only then did he realize he never asked for their name.
Looking at the hand, they studied it for a second. Tony was about to redact it, thinking they wouldn’t understand human interaction. But then they grabbed his hand and placed a kiss on it, smiling with bright eyes.

Somewhere in his mangled heart, Tony melted, just a tiny bit. That smile was lethal. "My name would be Kaimana; please call me Kai though."

"Well, Kai, I have a few questions. If you don’t mind answering them."

Kai nodded, dropping his hand.

"This is so weird... Do you have genders in your mermaid land? What do you even call yourself, if not mermaids? Was the hand kissing a thing in your," Tony waved his hand around, "place?"

They tilted their heads and said, "Well, from what I’ve collected from my time on land, I am what you call a woman. I have a vagina, breasts, and whatnot. You humans would have an aneurysm with underwater genitals." She chuckled.

Tony smiled and said, "I’m scared to ask."

Kai returned the gesture, "another time. You may call me a ‘she.’ Though genders don’t particularly matter to me or my kind, At least not in the same way." The girl leaned back, and the man was almost scared that she would fall into the water. "As for what we’re called, I don’t really know how to say it in the human tongue. We speak with... growls? I don’t know what to call it."

She then made a noise in her throat, quiet enough so that if you weren’t in their general vicinity, you couldn’t hear it. Tony heard well and fully. It didn’t cloud his brain like what she was doing before. He still couldn’t tell what separated the two.

"That’s what you’re called?" He questioned.

Kai nodded. "I think you could call that a trill; growling sounds like a werewolf. I don’t want to get those mixed up." He snickered.

"You’re right, werewolves hate comparing our languages." Kai said, almost petulantly.

"Please don’t tell me there’s a whole community of werewolves."

She raised a brow and said, "Your enhanced people aren’t that different from what you consider ‘supernatural.’" And Kai was right, but it just didn’t feel right to Tony. Wouldn’t he have noticed?

"I’ve entertained many beings from different walks of life, Werewolves—or were-people—are pretty alright. They’re handsy though." Kai tapped her chin. "I thought hand kissing was a thing that was common among all cultures, it represents high status. And I was showing my respect."

Tony shook his head. "Unless you’re a stupid mob boss, kissing hands is a thing of the past, at least I think. Even if it was, I’m no one to be respected." He joked dryly.

Kai’s eyes narrowed, looking at his face, then at his chest. His breath hitched. Tony had placed on a thick hoodie. Not only to hide his identity, but to hide the arc reactor. It was a placeholder until they figured out what to do with his bided time (Extremis passed through his brain).

"I will simply say I disagree."

When the two had made it back to the compound, Tony had not fully thought about the response he would get from leaving without telling anyone and showing up with a girl.

A girl who he had barely paid attention to the dress of.

It wasn’t Tony’s fault that he didn’t notice that Kai was wearing what appeared to be a weirdly shaped bra and ratty sweatpants! He was slightly concerned that people would get the wrong idea about him walking around with a girl if they managed to recognize him, but Kai had dipped her hand in the fountain and made some sort of bubble around them with the water; It was some sort of invisibility glamor, she said.

He didn’t believe it, but when people bumped into the spherical dome, they barely even passed a glance and continued walking.

Friday had nearly sent the whole building into disarray when her cameras caught sight of the ball of energy that entered with no issues. Tony had to have Kai dispel the bubble as soon as possible and then, directly afterwards, had to convince Friday that Kai was not influencing him in any way or forcing his hand into helping her. Even with a bunch of weapons once hidden in the walls pointing at her body, Kai just blinked and
stared at the walls in wonder.

"Who is the woman in the walls who aimed armor at me? I would like to befriend her." Kai turned to him with bright eyes, undeterred by Friday’s threat.

Tony was still reeling from the situation and stared at Kaimana, confused. Was she not terrified of being turned into fish stew if he didn’t call her off?

"I am Friday, Boss’ AI, and security defense; who are you?" Friday asked proudly.

Kai took a bit to stare around the compound, seemingly in awe of his girl and where she was. "I am Kaimana; please call me Kai Friday. You have an interesting name. How did you learn to point so many weapons at once? This would have been extremely helpful in one of my kind’s tournaments."

Friday did not answer, either out of confusion or annoyance that her fear tactic didn’t work.

"Okayyyy," Tony drew out, clapping his hands. "FRIDAY, Kai here is going to be a guest for a bit; please don’t point weapons at her anymore. I’m not exactly a fan of shrimp scampi."

The mermaid turned her nose up, taking a few cautious steps into the living space. "If you want to compare me to a sea animal, let it not be shrimp. I tore into their families for lunch. They annoy me."

Disturbing. "Okay then, FRI, you don’t need to call anybody about this; Kai is just gonna stay in a room for a bit." Tony didn’t actually think too far ahead. With the mermaid doing her brain-focus thingy, he had really been able to pay attention. Thinking about how to explain this to his friends—or even ask what Kai was going to be doing in the place and for how long—had completely escaped his mind. Downsides of not having an overactive mind.

With what could’ve been an irritated sigh filtering through her speakers, FRIDAY spoke, "I had already called the Colonel and Pepper the second I caught sight of the ball of energy. They’re scared you’ve been kidnapped when they didn’t see you in the compound."

"Did you tell them I’m completely fine?" He didn’t need them pointing weapons at the girl again. No matter how indifferent she was to them.

"I will notify them that you are in no harm’s way. Do you want me to let them know about your "guest"?"

Tony covered his eyes and nodded. "Better for them to know then instead of getting defensive when they see her here. Go ahead, Fri." He removed his hand and looked towards the girl, who was already staring at him in concern.

"Are your friends going to be uncomfortable with me in your home? I understand if you need me to leave." Kai stated.

It was kind of sad that he was surprised that someone was willing to back off to make his friends comfortable. When the Avengers initially started living in the compound, Pepper had trouble interacting with them in any way and asked Tony if she had to come, figuring that they would not be present while she got used to their presence. Clint, the asshole, had entered his apartment through the vents he had told him to use in emergencies. In the end, he had only wanted to assess the attractiveness of the woman in person. Which put a sour taste in both Tony's and Pepper’s mouth, making her leave early for the night. He rarely saw
Pepper then, which was mostly his fault for trying to make something that wasn’t meant to work, work.

(He couldn’t tell whether he was talking about Pepper or the Avengers.)

"Uh, no. It’s fine. I’m fine with you here, and they... they should be." Tony was now starting to doubt that. Damn, he really should’ve thought this through.

The girl nodded, obviously not convinced, but decided to sit down. She appeared to not like standing for too long; maybe it was a mermaid thing. Probably an ‘I’m not used to having feet’ thing.

"They’re here, boss." FRIDAY announced.

With little to no time to prepare, Rhodey came barreling in at a faster than normal pace than any man in a wheelchair should be able to. Pepper was not far behind him, with a pinched look on her face. He was doomed.

Before either of them could scold him, Kai had stood up and bent over in greeting. Only to flounder around when she lost her balance, nearly hitting the table in the process. "Hello, Mr. Tony Stark’s friends. I am Kaimana."

Silence followed.

Head still bowed, Pepper turned to Tony. "I want a full explanation on why there is a scantily clad teen in the tower while you disappeared for the better half of the day, now." The girl looked up at the phrase ‘scantily clad’ and furrowed her brows. He couldn’t tell if it was because she didn’t understand the meaning or was offended.

"Well, y'know, I couldn’t stand being cooped up in this place any longer." He could see both of their eyes narrow significantly at him. But he didn’t really want to talk about how if he stared at the wall in his room any longer, he would start having hallucinations about someone deciding to pull a prank on him when he actually managed to rest. He didn’t want those memories. "So I made a little escapade into New York. Got a little tired and decided to sit down on a fountain, which is where I met New York’s first mermaid."

Rhodey and Pepper both looked at him as if he were being mind-controlled, which, yeah, made sense. Kai decided to interrupt.

"I’m definitely not the first, though there are few who enjoy the waters here. Most oceanic beings who reside here are gross naiads. They’re not exactly friendly."

"Wait, are we just supposed to believe that you met a fucking mythical being in the middle of New York? Why do you have legs? Why are you in the tower?" Rhodey interrogated.

Tony was still not 100% sure whether or not the mermaid thing was true, but Kai was definitely enhanced. And he couldn’t find a logical explanation for the water bubble thing, but hey, you never know. Maybe he could science up one of those himself; it would help immensely if he could implement it on an Iron Man suit.

Kai nodded solemnly and said, "I know my existence is not accepted as true among humans, but I was holding myself underwater for a long period of time before your friend Mr. Tony Stark spoke to me. And I would prefer not to talk about my current lower body. If I could." Her voice trailed off at the last sentence. Tony remembers her mentioning a curse—that couldn’t be good.

Pepper looked at the girl; her eyes were still sharp but less judgmental than before. "What do you plan on doing here?" She asked, still suspicious.

"I’m not really sure," Kai shrugged. "I was told that an aquarium could be built while I resided here, but that is expensive, and I fear for your friend’s money. I plan on being alive for a bit, I guess."

His friends glared at him at the mention of his idea for an aquarium. Tony whisper-whistled and looked away from them so he didn’t have to look at their stares. He knew he had a problem with spending way too much time helping people when they didn’t particularly ask for it.

"Yes, that is true; aquariums are very expensive, Tony." Pepper gritted her teeth, turning back to Kai. "How long have you been in New York? You don’t exactly sound like you’re from here, I’ll give you that." Tony had noticed this too; there was something near a southern drawl that reminded him of Harley, but Kai also had like three other accents come out of her mouth a sentence later.

"I’ve been here for less than a month. Maybe more than two weeks? Back home, we had things to help us count time, though most older people didn’t care to do so. I know on land you have things called calendars, but I didn’t really think to look at many when I was on land." She put a hand on her chin, "I think it was April when I was in North Carolina."

Tony took off his shades in shock. "You were in North Carolina!" That was a long enough drive. How the hell did she make it on her feet?

Kai shrugged. "It wasn’t easy; I just didn’t want to be down south anymore. Some people were nice; some had weird things to say about my skin. And I just couldn’t... stay so close to the ocean."

It's fucking July now, nearly August. The girl had spent a quarter of the year walking upstate. What the actual fuck?

"There’s no change in her vitals... It doesn’t seem like she’s lying." FRIDAY noted warily.

Instead of creeping her out, Kai turned to a camera that was extremely well hidden (how did she see that?) and beamed. "You can see my innards, Friday?" I’ve always wanted to look at them. Can you draw a picture of some sort?" She calmed down when everyone turned to look at her. "Or would that be asking for too much? X-rays are expensive too, aren’t they?"

Tony cringed at the sad tone; he wasn’t emotionally incompetent, contrary to popular belief. Though he wasn’t exactly sure what to do when someone with little to no knowledge of who he was, his status, and when he had no clue on what was normal to them. "Uhm, if you really want, I can have my girl show you a hologram of your... organs if that would make you happy."

Kai lit up again: "Really?" Tony nodded. "Thank you so much. I thought it would be good to know how different my body was. My body structure seems to be very different from yours, but I can’t tell if that’s because you’re injured or not."

Ah, yes, the smell of injuries. They’d have to get back to her on that.

Pepper stared at him again, her gaze promising reprimands and lectures beyond what he could handle. She turned back to the child, arms unfurling, and asked. "While Friday checks the validity of your body composition, do you have anything you can tell us? I’m inclined to believe your existence, but all I have is your name; after you apparently popped up and some weird actions, I’m not exactly happy to have a stranger with my injured friend here. No matter if you’re a child or not."

The girl took a moment to go over the words in her head. She seemed to be doing that a bit more than when she was with him. "I am fine with giving as much information as I can, but I’m not exactly sure what information you’d want from me. I’ll answer questions if you have them.

Tony had tons of questions that probably had no relevance to what Pepper wanted at the time, so he kept his mouth shut in favor of letting his friends ask questions.

Rhodey cleared his throat, then rolled his wheelchair a bit closer to those on the couch. "I hope this isn’t rude, but how old are you?" And that was something Tony hadn’t even thought of questioning. Looking at Kai, he wasn’t exactly sure how old he originally thought she was, but her relatively smooth face definitely shaved a few years off any initial guess. Did the water make them wrinkly?

"I think I am 16." Kai answered earnestly. The adults in the room sucked in a breath, and she grew confused. "Is that bad?"

"I have a feeling this is in our human time and not a mermaid age conversion." Tony sighed.

The girl responded, "Of course, Numa Pompilius did decent work to create a twelve-month timeframe. Us — decided it was best and have continued to follow humans in that stance ever since." Kai did not notice that she had used the same sound she had shown Tony at the fountain to describe her people. It was like a zap went through Rhodey and Pepper. Both of them were shocked at the sound that came out of the youngest’s mouth.

"The hell was that?" Rhodey tried to replicate the sound, which only sounded like a dying kitten. Tony felt offended on behalf of Kai, who looked amused.

"My apologies; I guess that’s another bit of information that’s important. My language is made up of more throaty sounds that Mr. Tony Stark has identified as "trills." The sound I just made was the name of my kind, which you call mermaids.

Pepper was blinking, her hand hovering above her throat as if she were contemplating whether or not a human could make a noise like that. It didn’t seem impossible, but hearing just one word for the second time made him realize that there was more to trill than before.

"How do you know English this well? I mean, you’ve been on land for a while, but your vernacular is fairly wide given your time spent here." Pepper questioned her, shaking off her interest in Kai's language.

"It’s not like I’ve never been above the surface." Kai started. "Our altitude is much lower than most humans care to look; the highest dwelling mermaids are masters of hiding from human life. We are curious creatures, like you, and we want to know things. My…" She trailed off, "My clan was based closer to the continent of Africa, I think, but we travel a lot. Water is rarely stagnant, and neither are we. I had learned sparing words and phrases from elders in other clans who didn’t move as much as we did. English was something most of us had a knowledge of. I know some other land languages; they’re very interesting. Am I talking too much?"

Tony was enraptured in the girl’s thinking; he didn’t take notice that she had everyone go silent to let her speak for so long. "You’re fine." He waved.

They continued back and forth with some more questions; Kai was a master of evading anything that might’ve alluded to her cursing. She had spoken of tournaments that she had witnessed. Turns out, deep-sea people were just as prone to violence as them. They loved watching people beat each other to death as much as they did. Kai explained that it was normally done for courting.

"I was going to be put up for a courting ritual as soon as I turned 13," she grumbled. "That’s early, even in the terms of my people." The genius felt a little green at the thought; having a girl that young being fought over by a bunch of vicious merpeople with weapons disturbed him. "I mean, my father was letting people who were nearly a century old join the battle. I didn’t show up to the meeting. As you humans call it,
I wanted to say ‘fuck you’ to him."

Rhodey gave her a high-five at that. "Your old man doesn’t sound the nicest." Oh Loki, were they breaching the daddy issues topic now? It was still day one of their meeting.
Kai pursed her lips; it seemed close enough to a grimace. "He was annoying whenever he was around. ‘Kaimana, you have to entertain the people in the grand hall; they’re descendants of the water titans.’ ‘You have to mate early; you have failed to have a penis; the least you could do is bear pups early.’ ‘I’m your father; what does it matter if I’ve speared you? You deserve it. ’ Hate that man." She grumbled.

Tony wanted to know how those three sentences correlated to each other and how she decided those were the most prominent thoughts of her sperm donor (did mermaids have sperm? Or eggs?) to tell them. "He doesn’t sound nice at all. I thought you said mermaids don’t have sexism down there. Is your father the only one who thought a penis meant power?"

His friends looked at him as if he were insane. Which, yeah, focusing on the penis part probably wasn’t the smartest idea, but he didn’t really want to get into the spear part. It only reminded him of his own father throwing things at him when he got upset. Sure, Tony had never been shanked by Howard, but it was damn near close.

Shaking her head, she replied, "most of us have vaginas and penises. Even what you consider 'women.' If not both, they have multiple penises. I was born with one vagina. My father was furious. It’s seen as someone with complete submission."

It really shouldn’t have been as entertaining to watch Pepper and Rhodey cringe every time Kai mentioned a genital. Tony was having the time of his life thinking about someone having multiple dicks.

"Kai… Human lesson number one: talking about genitals freely is looked down on. I guess since Tony asked, it’s fine; he’s weird." The man mentioned squawked. "But be more careful around others."

The girl nodded her head seriously, taking what his best friend said into consideration.

"Since I’m so weird," Tony glared at Rhodey, "I want to know: do you think I’d have one or two dicks?"

His friends chided him in the back, but he didn’t care as he watched Kai’s face transform into confusion.

"I thought Dick was a weird human name, shortening to the name Richard. Is it actually referring to genitals?" She was perplexed. Her eyes widened. "That poor boy."

All the adults burst into laughter; Pepper would deny it to the day she died that she laughed at an unintentional dick joke, but Tony heard her tiny snorts. Friday would prove it! He finally had blackmail on her.

After calming down, Rhodey tried to explain the difference between the name and the orifices between their legs (or in their tails? If this was mermaid biology, Bruce would be terrified (or intrigued), only to break out into laughter when Tony mentioned that it could also be used as an insult. Pepper was officially turned around, not paying attention to the current conversation, and he could hear whirring from the ceiling and walls. Friday was not slick.

"You could also use member, weenie, prick, and ooh, schlong is a personal favorite of mine." Tony derailed off, making his Honeybear cackle. Also causing Pepper to mutter for him to shut his mouth, though he could see her shoulders shaking in amusement. "Peter also told me... Oh my Thor, you could also call your peter, Peter! I’m gonna cry. Friday, send a message to Pete, telling him that " Pepper had thrown a pillow at his face, causing him to groan (he didn’t squeak, no matter what anyone in that room said).

"Pep! You can’t just hit an invalid; I’m fragile." He dramatized.

Rhodey snorted, "you should be the one in a wheelchair if you think a pillow is going to kill you."

"Excuse me, Pepper is a very strong woman; those pillows would decapitate a man if she tried hard enough."

"I believe that." Kai nodded, looking at the woman who was smiling. "Ms. Pepper would have two or three... weenies. As well as—are there any other names for vaginas? I think I need to add them to my repertoire."

"Well since you asked so nicely—" Tony started, only to be hit by another pillow. "I’m being abused in my own home! FRIDAY, are you getting this?"

"Of course, boss." If Friday could smirk, she definitely had one while speaking.

Kai laughed lightly at the atmosphere. "As for your previous question, you seem more like a," she said, making a two-syllabled noise, the second one having a deeper rumble than the first. "You’d probably have one of each organ. My guess would be that Mr. Rhodey would have two or three, not a vagina."

"Why am I the only one with just one of each? Not that I’m discriminatory or whatever, but I think it’s unfair that they get two and I only get one." Tony complained.

"It’s because you have little dick energy, Tones." Rhodey grinned.
Before Tony could respond, Kai asked, "I thought his name was Tony Stark? Does he also have variations of his name that mean different things?"

Which devolved into a small lesson on nicknames and Tony’s insufferable list of them. And getting Kai to not put Ms. and Mr. in front of everyone’s names. No, you cannot call Rhodey ‘Mr. Honeybear, Kai, that’s terrible!" Tony laughed.

He was definitely storing that nickname for later.

Chapter Text

Tony had to really start thinking things through.

After leading Kai to an empty room, Tony had walked back into the room Pepper and Rhodey had sat down in and flopped on the couch. He groaned at his still tender chest that made contact with the soft furniture. It still hurt like hell.

“So, what exactly do you plan to do with the teenager who is supposedly a mermaid?” The man questioned. “She was sweet, but you can’t just take any child who says some shit and believe them. They lie just as much as adults.”

The inventor wanted to grumble that his newfound fishy friend wouldn’t lie, but how could he really be sure? Tony had FRIDAY to rely on for detection, but she had some sort of composition that allowed her to numb his nonstop thoughts. Who knows what sort of things Kai could do with that? Could she interfere with FRIDAY’s scannings? Kai seemed super eager to have her scanned. That was super weird-

“Tones,” Rhodes sighed, exasperated. “I’m not saying she’s terrible, but it wouldn’t be terrible to be cautious. You already have so much on your plate.”

Pepper nodded in agreement. “Let it be that you actually take her in, that’s a ton of paperwork. Sending her to live with a foster family would do the same. Either way, there’s still a chance that the press would get wind of this and accuse you of having a super secret love-child.” The strawberry-blonde sat down beside him, lifting her head into her lap. “We’re lucky enough that Peter is able to be discreet when visiting. Media would absolutely eat him up. Sometimes I wonder if he’s actually related to you.”

Tony let himself curl into his ex’s lap, her familiar scent flowing through his body and cutting through a few tight knots in his brain. “Petey is better off without Stark blood flowing through him.” He mumbled.

He could tell his friends were having a silent conversation above him, Tony couldn’t bring himself to care.

“You could send her to Charles. It doesn’t seem like Kai needs help controlling her abilities. But she is a child.” For some reason, he didn’t want that. Charles was a great guy, but he wasn’t sure if taking care of cursed mermaids was on his resume. (Tony could’ve also just wanted Kai to hang around more, but don’t tell anyone.)

Rhodey adds on, “or Strange. She says she has some sort of magical capability. It would be wise to let him know about her.” His hand ends up in his tousled brown locks. Both of his friends were increasingly touchy after Siberia. Tony allowed it because it was something he so desperately craved (please, don’t tell anyone).

Strange was well, strange to say the least. With his stupid flowing magic and meticulous gray and brown hair, Tony hates to say that he doesn’t hate him. The doctor was just as rude, assholeish, and maybe as smart as he was. It infuriated and warmed his chest to find someone who kept up with his stupid banter.

“We should tell Strange about Kai… I don’t know about sending her to study there. I doubt the underwater had the same magic rules on land. Maybe Strange already knows about merpeople. Maybe he has no clue, it’d be nice to see him flounder for a bit.” Tony smirked. “Though I don’t want to send Kai off and lump her in Nepal just because we don’t completely understand her. That doesn’t seem right.”

Rhodey smiles down at the short man. “Look at you, being considerate of people’s choices.”

Tony fakes an offended expression. “Excuse me, honeypie, I am always aware of what everyone wants to do.”

Neither of his friends deemed his grumbling with a response. And before he knew it, the simple scratching at the base of his skull and the familiar scent of his closest persons made Tony feel too fuzzy to not drift into a light sleep.

When he woke up again, Pepper was gone and Rhodey sat next to him with the news playing on the television. Not that he was paying attention, the man was narrowing his eyebrows at his phone, face ticked like something was annoying him. Despite that, he still kept a gentle hand brushing through Tony’s hair.

“Sugarplum, what’s got you so stressed?” Tony rasped, voice toned from sleep.

The man turned his head towards the once sleeping figure and questioned, “how was your nap?”

Tony wasn’t sure why his best friend was deflecting, but answered anyway. “Best sleep I’ve had in years.” And wasn’t that the truth? It was probably the first time he slept with nothing plaguing his dreams or having him hallucinating without drugs. “Are you gonna tell me what’s putting a frown on your pretty face?”

Sighing, Rhodey responded, “Charles says he’d be happy to take her in, but he hasn’t had any students like her at the school. He’s barely had any mutant children with water-based powers either. It’s hard to say whether or not Kaimana going there would be any help.”

Tony wasn’t exactly happy at this. It’s not like he was joyful at the thought of helping a possible mermaid be rehabilitated. “And we can assume that Kai doesn’t want to become a wizard.” The black man nods and sighs again.

“It’s not bad Rhodey,” Tony starts, “she seemed perfectly fine with us asking questions about her. And if I remember correctly, we’ll be looking at her innards soon enough.” Rhodes grimaces at the wording. “You know I don’t mean it like that, weirdo. Look, unless this is some weird way for us to trust her and while we run scans, and a tentacle explodes from her guts or something. I think we’ll be fine.”

His best friend smiles at his rambling and concedes. “Alright, but I wanna be there when you’re doing a CT scan. Don’t want you to get folded by a fish.”

“Have you no faith in my athleticism? I think I could survive a scrap with an octopus.”

“I think you’d be so interested in the tentacles that you wouldn’t fight back in the name of ‘research’.”

“Touché, Honeybear.”

Both of them started to laugh lightly. They only stopped when the door opened, revealing the girl of the hour.

“Uh, hello.” She spoke, seeming a little scared.

Tony nodded his head, “hi. You seem a little off, is something wrong with the room? Not enough fish on the wall? Or maybe you want a deeper bathtub? I could imagine-,”

“No, uh, you don’t need to change anything. It’s fine. I just, kinda wanted to let you know I can kinda hear you. Like my hearing is really good. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop or anything. I was in the bathroom and I couldn’t hear you, but uh, I kind of heard about the tentacles after spending a few hours in the bathroom. I don’t have any tentacles, my friend, Lyre, had some. Though none of them were in her guts.”

All three of them were silent at the end of Kai’s speech.

“I also have a question, do you all sleep on such soft beds? I feel like I was going to melt into the floor when I got into it. It was very big. Can you tell me if I’m talking too much?” The mermaid was shifting on her feet.

The inventor cleared his throat. “You’re fine. Don’t worry about the hearing thing. I guess I should’ve assumed that based on your echolocation thing.” He waved his hand. “And we were joking about the tentacles. What kind of material did you sleep on in the sea? I’m intrigued.”

Being someone who rambles himself, Tony had no trouble keeping up with the youth. He was also very experienced with Peter, the rambling king. Tony could feel the amount of words that would be spoken if the two ever met suffocate him. Just saying ‘hi’ would break the word limit on a Twitter post between them.

“We have these coves, they kind of feel like the counters you have in your kitchen. Whenever we traveled, we got to pick out a specific one and keep our findings in them. I’m not complaining though!” Kai pushed out her hands, waving them in haste. “This is just a human thing I have to get used to. As well as the way you dress. Do y’all not get hot?”

There was the change in accent again, Tony could see Rhodey mouth, ‘y’all’ after she spoke. “I can order you a firmer mattress. And don’t say you don’t need me to spend my money, I want to.” Kai closed her lips. “Where did you get the clothes you’re wearing right now? Not to sound like an asshole, but your sweatpants looked like you’ve run through a shredder.”

Kai scrunched up her eyebrows, mumbling something that sounded similar to ‘asshole.’ She tilted her head. “I was given these bottoms when I first came out of the water. Apparently my dress with just a… bra? Was inappropriate, I was happy because I had an uncomfortable experience with me having my genitals out. Pants were never a thing I thought I’d have to wear.”

And there went another conversation Tony never expected to even think about. He’s not even awake enough to process the entirety of what Kai just said. He doesn’t think he wants to.

“Okayyy,” Tony claps his hands, “Fri, please order the dear little mermaid here some non-torn clothes. Unless they’re stylistically torn. I guess I’ll let it slide.”

“Of course, boss.” Friday chirped back, she seemed to be in a better mood.

Kai had not moved from the spot she came in from, but her feet were moving from side to side. Not unbalanced, but unsure. “Uh, who is this Strange? And Charles.”

Tony sighed, hoping to have properly sorted out what he wanted to do with the new inhabitant before speaking of them. “Charles Xavier is a man who runs a school for Mutants. They’re people with abilities that are considered non-standard and are often shunned by most of society. He takes care of them with some other people. But if you are what you say you are, I don’t know if you’ll particularly count as a Mutant. He’d welcome you in, I don’t doubt it, but I personally think it’d be pointless to do so.

The mermaid nodded along. “And Strange is a stupid wizard that you’ll never ever need to meet. End of story.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “He’d probably come knocking if he notices whatever magic Kaimama has going on.”

“If he remembers how to fucking knock.” Tony grouches, “never thought Hogwarts wouldn’t teach their students manners.”

Kaimana looks confused, but doesn’t verbalize her confusion. “Do you think you’re well enough to do my scans? I wish not to disturb your peace.”

Tony almost jumped at the chance, but Rhodey held him down. “We’re waiting for Dr. Cho, he’s not even supposed to be looking at his lab without supervision.”

“You all treat me like a child! I am perfectly capable of doing some basic tests without hurting myself.”

The two other occupants look at him, swaddled in blankets and being pet by his friend. “We never said anything different. You just need supervision.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Dr. Cho is here.” Friday announces.

Finally, Tony thought. He could finesse his way into letting the doctor let him into his lab and get to knocking out some of the questions he had for the lifeform before him. “Why have I been told you’ve been straining yourself?”

Tony flopped dramatically on the couch. “What happened to hi, hello, how are you? No courtesy for me.”

The doctor looked at him and rolled her eyes. “You barely show courtesy for yourself, nobody sees it fit to follow.” She starts walking towards the elevator, not giving the group much time to get up and follow her. Dr. Cho barely spared a glance at Kai, and Tony was grateful for that.

He didn’t notice it before, but Kaimana was deeply entranced by the elevator. There was a small chance she was looking intently at all of the technology to avoid whatever conversation was going to go on. Deeming it none of her business or care.

The lab was not something he had grown completely unfamiliar with, but he had not spent more than an hour in the place at a time. Tony missed it terribly. Kai had focused her attention on the huge space in front of them and immediately began strolling around. The genius wished he had the pleasure.

“Mind telling me why you suddenly had the urge to go on a tour of Manhattan to Brooklyn?” Dr. Cho questioned, messing mindlessly with the holograms presented in front of her. They had something to do with Tony’s vitals. “I said fresh air was good, but I honestly expected you to find out how to procure cleaner air in your head just to spite me.”

Rhodey snorted and Tony glared. The woman waited for a response. She paused her ministrations for the moment and crossed her arms. Tony had to be realistic. He couldn’t keep dragging the geneticist out this frequently on his own whims. Dr. Cho was employed at a place of high stature. And though Tony was sure that he could pay her whatever they were in double, she probably got frustrated having to graze continents for his sake. As calm as the woman was, even Tony could acknowledge that she was a bit frustrated with him right now.

For wasting her time? For straining her hard work? For not caring about his fragile body? Probably all of the above and more.

So, instead of going along with her sarcasm. He graced her with a mature and mostly honest response. She deserved it.

“I feel useless. I feel like a hamster with a wheel right in front of its face. The most I go outside is if I absolutely must attend a meeting with my board, even then, Pepper pushes for video calls.” Tony chuckled lightly. “Seeing people whose job is to criticize if you’re doing your job well enough is not the most fulfilling experience. And I couldn’t stand seeing these stupid bedrooms anymore. They hurt my eyes. I miss my lab. I miss working. I miss Pepper nagging me to do my actual job. I miss my R&D team. I needed to get out of here.” At the end, Tony was breathing heavily, he didn’t even realize how badly he needed that outing; Something else to focus on or else he would do something brash.

Looking over to Kaimana, who was doing a very poor job at pretending like she wasn’t listening to the conversation, Tony knew he had already done something brash. Kai had opened her mouth, but grimaced. Then turned back to the car she was leaning over– never touching.

Dr. Cho looked at him thoughtfully. And then nodded to herself. Tony turned to his best friend, and saw him with furrowed brows and downturned lips. Now, he was going to find a way to blame his feelings of confinement on himself. “Sugarplum, I am obedient once in a blue moon, you should be happy I didn’t call a suit out and fly across the country instead.”

The Doctor hummed in agreement before Rhodey could respond. “I’m mildly surprised with how little you’ve acted out. Either your age is finally catching up to you or common sense has. Verdict is out.”

“You still disrespect me while in my lab and using my tech, the balls people have these days.”

Not looking at him, Cho continued on. “Just stating the truth. And Tony. For once, you haven’t hurt yourself– anymore than you already have. I’m impressed. Nothing other than a shortness I presume you are used to.”

Kaimana had moved closer. The only person who noticed was probably Fri, so she didn’t think it was necessary to let anyone else know. For someone who had just gained feet months ago, she had freakishly quiet steps. Even Dr. Cho flinched when the girl ended up next to them, DUM-E trailing behind her.

“He’s hurt.” She stated.

Dr. Cho looked at both of the men in the room, a thousand questions in her eyes. But she understood the statement was directed at her. “Yes, he is.”

Kai frowned. “So why aren’t you fixing it?” She pointed towards his chest. “I can only help with his brain.” The mermaid admitted sadly.

The three adults looked at each other, Dr. Cho’s confusion only grew more apparent. The two men unsure how to explain the situation to either.

“Kai.” Tony started. “I am hurt in a way that cannot be reversed by any medical help. Dr. Cho is here so I don’t get worse. And what do you mean by my brain?” Tony felt almost insulted, there was absolutely not anything wrong with his brain.

The girl shifted her feet. “You are hurt in your brain. I can quiet your brain. I was going to when you were speaking. You smelled off. But I do not have the ability to do it just to you yet.”

The woman held up her hands. “Have to admit, I am very confused.”

Rhodey nodded. “I am too.”

Kai turned to Tony, as if asking for permission. Tony nodded, he wanted to see if there was an actual effect on other people or he was going insane. With just opening her mouth in a slim line, the same, barely noticeable sound escaped her throat. Both other occupants in the room were stunned into silence. The genius let the wave of calm wash over him. It felt like the first time he got weed from a special seller at MIT. He had no clue what the dude had put in the joint. But that was most definitely the only calming drug he took for a while. Tony feared he could get addicted to this.

“Holy fuck what are you?” That was the first time he had heard Dr. Cho curse, in English of course. She seemed enchanted with Kai. The trills had stopped.

Rhodey still seemed to be reeling from the initial shock of whatever came out of Kai’s mouth. It was understandable, they didn’t get the explanation that Tony did. “She’s a fish,” a glare came from the younger, “a mermaid.” He told Dr. Cho.

Looking between Kaimana and himself, Dr. Cho sighed and took her phone out of her bag on the table. She walked away from the group of three and went to a corner of the lab, mouth moving rapidly in Korean. Tony didn’t care to decipher it.

Turning back to Rhodey and Kai, Tony looked at the put out look on the teen’s face. “I don’t think she likes me. I should leave.”

“And go where?” Tony asked. He could not tell what the woman was thinking or doing, it could range from putting her two weeks in as his primary care physician to calling a psych ward. A gamble, really. The genius would not tell the teen what Dr. Cho felt, he rarely knew if she tolerated him half of the time.

She turned back around, face calmer than it was before. “You’ve done it again, Stark. I’m taking a two-week vacation.” Helen Cho was not a break taker, but some things, mainly Tony Stark related, made her crave a break. “I will be back with my head straighter. You,” pointing to Kaimana, “be ready.”

And with that, Dr. Cho left the lab.

“Fri,” Tony smiled. “Send Dr. Helen Cho a gift basket to whatever hotel she’s staying at for the time being.” Once again, Tony would’ve loved to do more. Like pay for her lodgings, even give her a floor at the Tower to stay in, but she had refused before and would definitely refuse again.

“Got it, boss.”

Rhodey rubbed his forehead. “I need a hard nap. Tones, you’re apparently cleared to do whatever scanning shit you wanted to do with Kai. Don’t– just don’t overdo it, okay?”

Tony had begun rolling his reluctant friend towards the elevator, “no need to worry Sweet cheeks! I am going to be the most cautious man on earth. Or on land, ocean dwellers seem to be more cautious than any humans out there.” Rhodey gave him a look, spelling seriousness. The shorter man sighed. “I get it. Don’t do too much. I don’t think Atlantis over there would let me. A kid, Honeybear.”

This got a smile out of him. “You’re weak to kids with big eyes and an inkling for science. No one’s fault but yours that you listen to them.”

“Lies and slander!” Tony exclaimed as the doors of the elevator started to close. The last thing he saw was Rhodey’s knowing smirk from behind those doors. He ought to tell Friday to pause the elevator to continue this conversation.

When he reached his main work station. Kai was standing close to the counter, but never touched it. Tony filed in his brain that she never touched anything. Not even the cars she leaned over.

“Ready to see your skeleton?” Tony put on a smile as he approached. Kai nodded placidly and gave him space to sit down on the stool. He had another chair somewhere, it’s just been way too long since he’d had anyone other than himself in the lab that needed to sit down. Anyone that came in the Tower’s lab had only come to drag him out of it kicking and screaming. There was a period of relearning what he loved, he supposed.

A series of beeps shook him out of his silent stupor. DUM-E had rolled up next to him, and if he were a lesser fan and not in front of a teenager, he probably would’ve teared up. He missed his creations so much. Tony had fought tooth and nail to get down here and almost forgot what lied down here.

“Hey bud,” he grinned. Another series of beeps came out from the beep. “Yes, I’m doing better.” More beeps, lower toned ones. “I missed you, and U, I missed everything a lot.” DUM-E’s claw spun and pointed upwards. “I’ll be down more, promise.” The whole point of transferring his bots to New York was to make him feel less lonely. And yet, he neglected what he created from his own hands in turn for…

DUM-E chirped and rolled over to where Kaimana stood. She was shifting on her feet again. DUM-E had started letting out noises that even Tony couldn’t decipher. But Kai laughed. “Nice try, but I think you should stick to what you know. I’ll still get it.”

This was new. Tony looked at the two for a second. Not many people had even made the effort to try and understand his creations. Thor was delighted to chat with DUM-E and U the few times he did. Rhodey was probably the closest to Tony’s understanding. As he was there when DUM-E was being made, but there was still going to be the gap between him and whatever mess of thoughts Tony had at his younger age. Pepper could make decent guesses from the tones, but she didn’t have the time to clue out much else. And Peter, bless his heart, assumed that the beeps all coincided with Morse Code, which was partially true. But Tony at a younger age thought that would be too simple and fucked around with a bunch of other ways of communication that was way much to complex to explain to anyone else.

Yet Kai here said she understood DUM-E with ease. Do mermaids have the All-Speak Thor did? Though, the teen didn’t seem to understand what Dr. Cho was saying in Korean when she walked to the other side of the room. More food for thought, Tony groused mentally.

“Stop bothering her and grab me materials for body-scanning DUM-E.” Tony ordered. He didn’t really need them, with how advanced Fri had become, but there’s nothing wrong with old fashioned tactics, alright?

Kai leaned on her left foot. He’d need to figure out how to make someone who’s supposedly been walking for months to be comfortable standing. “DUM-E doesn’t have big eyes, I don’t know if he likes science though.”

It took a second to understand what Kaimana was referencing, but he grew a little warm. “DUM-E is a hazard to everything he likes. Including me.” An indignant beep was heard from the utility closet.

The teen chuckled lightly, hand covering her mouth. “What do you like then, Mr. Stark?”

“Mechanics, Science is too broad of a term to say that I like it. Soft Sciences are not terrible,” he admits, “but they include too many ifs and buts that I don’t like anywhere except in coding. Which I also love. Robotics, Physics, maybe a bit of Chemistry is alright.” He thought of Peter.

“Maybe I’m being presumptuous, but if we’re still talking science, you’d like Marine Science? Wouldn’t you?” He turned to the teen. What was taking DUM-E so long?

Kai looked at him thoughtfully. “Why would I need to learn about water?”

Tony felt a little stupid. Why the hell would a mermaid need to learn about the place where she lived for her entire life?

“I guess humans think more about stuff than we do. I didn’t know what H2O was until I got here. Is there another name for everything here?” Kai tapped her chin.

What if so many things humans concluded about the ocean were wrong? Marine Science suddenly seemed interesting now that he could have a conversation with someone who probably swam with sharks. “Yeah, humans are anal like that.”

The teen scrunched her nose and mouthed ‘anal.’ Probably thinking back on the conversation they had not even 12 hours ago.

“I think I would want to learn about the Earth. I have been here for a bit and don’t get much.” Kai answered, head still tilted to look around his expansive space. It made sense, the ocean people don’t like interacting with land people, so what did they know about each other, only that humans polluted their living space. But there were so many other things on this planet that didn’t center around the greed and disregard of some humans. Tony attested to that.

DUM-E finally returned with the supplies. And Tony had nothing on the table. So, why do this professionally? Tony rarely was professional with his own work. Smelting without goggles and gloves, testing repulsors without protective gear underneath, exploding things without a care in the world. Scanning on a clean surface with nothing but a forgotten coffee cup is basically the opposite of dangerous right now.

“Lay on here, I really just want to see your lungs.” Tony gestured to his work table. Kai paid no mind and laid back. She looked oddly comforting. Was this the type of material she was used to sleeping on? How did mermaids not get stiff necks from that?

Tony placed a light tarp on her body. While the thing he was scanning her with was relatively harmless, the radiation couldn’t harm a bunny, Tony had no clue what it could do to someone that was a fish only months ago.

The scan was over quickly. Kai had quickly sat up after he said he was finished. Eager to see what she looked like from the inside.

“Well, that’s not too weird.” Fri pulled up screens of his scannings. Kai’s stomach was oddly flatter than a regular human’s, but one could easily attribute that to lack of food and extensive exercise. Yet, her skeletal system was also slimmer as well. Not by much that it would make a difference, but Tony inferred that a mermaid’s bone structure could be either much lighter or heavier than humans’ to make it easier to swim. Water has never been so prevalent in his mind for any reason, and now he had to scrounge his brain for anything that could help explain his findings.

Her stomach was flatter. Her digestive organs were longer, more stretched. And her lungs were pretty huge. Not concerningly large, but it made sense how she was underwater for so long. All of this knowledge made Tony eager to figure out what was different and what was the same. Blame it on the scientist in him.

Maybe he could call Peter… This is some harmless comparing and contrasting. That’s what they taught in high school? Right? Or would he not be a good reference? What did that spider bite really do to him? How has he never given the kid a check up? What if Peter can lay eggs? Gross, really gross. Would Harley be better? He didn’t know any girls that would be okay with his testing. Not that he would force anyone. But for science!

“Who’s Peter? Is he your genital?” Kai asked innocently. Everything Tony says will eventually come back to bite him in the ass, he’s now realized. The man hadn’t known he was speaking aloud.

“Peter’s an intern of mine.” Would the teen even know what an intern is? There’s only so many words and concepts she can understand at this time.

Like he assumed, Kai was confused. “And he’s a spider?”

How had he already spilled Peter’s secret? Tony had barely gotten to telling Rhodey! “Uhh, he’s a mutant?”

Kai was still suspicious, and confused. She didn’t question further, still trying to figure out what a human boy, spider, and intern could be. Though he was like her, so maybe one day, the two could interact.

“Fishes and spiders.” Tony mumbled. Why did he have to pick up the weirdest kids?

Before he got in too deep, he told Friday to save all of the scans into a folder. Tony also said to name it Mako Mermaids (Once upon a time, Harley had forced him to be subject to all of Rose’s kiddy shows. Mako Mermaids and H2O have been prevalent in his mind for a while). “Let’s go up, I’m feeling peckish.”

Kai followed wordlessly into the elevator. She tied her arms behind her back. Simply giving a wide berth to his work. Tony knew it was marvelous, and that she wanted to touch. Peter, Harley, and Rose have tapped their fingers all over the place, but for some reason, Kai resisted the urge.

Another thing to think about later.

Rhodey was not sleeping like he said he would. He was using the fourth (and last) pair of braces that Tony was allowed to make. Tony was not happy with them at all. He could see the stiffness in movement. He glared at the joints as if it wasn’t all his fault.

Rhodey was in the kitchen making something. Tony couldn’t make out the entire smell until the pair had made it to the kitchen. Homemade sub sandwiches.Tony could kiss the man.

“You whispered, ‘I miss Rhodey’s subs’ in your sleep. You’re not subtle.” Rhodey spoke. “I actually doubt you were asleep at all.”

“And yet you still made them.”

“And yet I still made them.”

“Are these submarines?” Kai butted in the conversation. “I didn’t know you were in mechanics too, Mr. Rhodey.”

And another spiel of explaining the double meaning of words to Kaimana went on. Turns out, Kai is a bit of a troll herself, and just wanted to see the two men flounder over explaining the difference.

Tony couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Chapter Text

For someone who was once a fish, Kai waddled around Tony like a little duckling.

She kept her distance, mostly. Though he could always sense someone around the corner of the Tower. He didn’t mind. Tony would’ve actually preferred if she had said outright whatever she wanted or come closer. The only times they were in close proximity were when they ate together or if Kai made a trip down to the lab.

He had a small suspicion that Kai was only there to make sure he wasn’t hurting himself. Once again, he was not a child. And if anything, Tony should be monitoring her.

DUM-E beeped loudly as Tony dropped his wrench on the worktable. He had no clue what he was really making, but it was not important as the literal child he now had in his home.

Why did he invite her into his home? Tony had no idea how to take care of himself without constant reminders. How could he take care of someone who still had nearly a full decade before their frontal lobe was completely developed? The genius was not good with people under 30. He had no reason to be interacting with them, really. The only time Tony was able to have contact with them and not ruin their lives was if he threw money at them.

Before his retreat after Siberia, Tony used to go kiss babies on their foreheads and throw money at whatever charity he deemed good. It was a frequent pastime to not make him not feel like a total piece of shit all the time. People and press loved it; the people believed he would somehow bless their children to become the next world genius or billionaire; press loved it because they could paint him out to be a terrible person who would never do anything out of the goodness of his own heart.

Children deserved to live without interacting with Tony Stark. He’d tarnish them, eventually. Even adults couldn’t handle the curse of his life. Just look around, see who’s left. And if they are, see what he, Tony Stark has done to them.

It was partially why he forbade Harley from coming to New York. Not the thin excuse of his mom and sister having to come as well. If they wanted to, it wouldn’t be a problem. Tony just couldn’t handle being the one to hurt a loving family simply because he wanted to be closer. He wanted that connection. He craved it. To not stain or hurt someone so young, so innocent and full of life.

And then he met Peter.

And then he threw Peter into the middle of a petty spat of international warfare and personal feelings because he didn’t have that many people that would back him up. There wasn’t enough people so he had to fucking blackmail a kid into coming with him. Why his aunt or the kid himself can stand to be around him, he doesn’t know. If Tony were Peter, and thank high heavens that he isn’t, this would be the first thing he would talk about on some podcast. Or whatever kids do nowadays to spread gossip.

Yet, Peter still admired him; still talked to him; still enjoyed being in his fucking presence despite all of what happened. Tony hated him, why did he have to be so good? Tony didn’t deserve it. And he loathed the day where Peter truly got hurt by him, or on the contrary, realized his worth and left Tony in the dirt, where he belonged.

“Are you going to stand there sadly for much longer?” A mild-toned voice questioned him. Tony gauged his surroundings and took in that he was in the elevator with the doors wide open. Kai stood a few feet in front of him. She still moved side-to-side on her feet. It was either ingrained in her or a nervous tick. Though, her face remained passive.

“I’m not sad, I’m contemplative.” Tony responded, finally moving from the elevator.

“Contemplating sadly, then.” The teen struggled a bit saying the word, she seemed to know what it meant, though.

Tony didn’t reply, in turn he decided to make his way to the kitchen on the floor. He has no clue whether or not Kai had been feeding herself or not. Rhodey had left to continue physical therapy and discuss his ranks in the Air Force. Tony had fallen into the waves of eating because someone was there reminding him. Now that everyone was busy (he was still awaiting Dr. Cho’s arrival post-vacation) and he was fully allowed back into his lab, Tony had reset his brain back to his pre-injury lifestyle. Long hours of wake, even longer ones of starvation, and minimal human interaction.

No wonder he was out of commission for so long. “How has living on land been?” He asked in the guise of seeing if he was truly the worst person to be taking care of a child. Tony could not tell anyone how long it’s been between the time he last saw Kai. And he could not, in any right mind tell anyone if she had eaten– or if the food was suited to satisfy her needs. Did she still need to eat more seafood? Her digestive system appeared to be the same, just a little longer than others. But that was what Tony concluded from basic scans. There could be considerable differences that might kill the child.

Kai leaned against the island counter, her eyes never leaving his form. “It is very luxurious.” Once again, she took some time enunciating the last word. “Though I think it’s because you’re famous or whatever. Beds are soft, water temperature is controllable without magic, it is odd.”

Is that all she’s been doing? Sleeping and showering? “Have you done anything else other than touch surfaces and bathe?” Tony had taken out some heavy cream and cheese to cook with. He was planning to make something that he knew he could cook without thinking much about.

The teen’s eyes had lingered on the ingredients very shortly. Did she know what cheese was? Could she even read? “I don’t know what other to do.”

Tony was racking his brain to find something that would be easy on someone who was almost entirely ignorant to the world. Rogers was a man out of time, but Kai was a fish out of water. How was she supposed to integrate into a world she knew of, but didn’t know about.

“How about you help me cook?” He offers her some tongs. And the girl holds them closer to the opposing ends, rather than the connecting piece, or middle.

“I don’t know how. We don’t cook in the water.” Kai voices her concern. Her attention is now focused on the array of kitchen tools, pots, pans, and ingredients Tony had set out to make a meal out of. “We kill our food and sometimes put it with whatever plants taste good and don’t kill you.”

Sushi might be something Kai likes. Or Kim-bap. Dr. Cho had nearly taken off Tony’s head for comparing the two after taking him to an underground Korean restaurant. Delicious, but similar.

“That’s why learning is going to be your new thing of the day. I’m sure being confined in this place must be driving you insane.” Tony placed some imported pasta in boiling water and let Kai inch closer to him.

“What are we making?” At least she seemed interested.

“Chicken Alfredo. An Americanized, bastardized version of an Italian classic.”

The dark-skinned teen simply blinked and nodded along. “I only understood classic and chicken. But, I’m excited. Or should I be upset? Bastard isn’t a nice word.”

Tony chuffed a short laugh at her ignorance. It was charming; the curiosity. “Do you know continents? Come look at me cut this chicken up.” He beckoned her even closer to his cutting board, two thick chicken thighs placed upon there.

“A few, I’m not sure if I know all of them.” Kai was still hovering behind him. Even though they were almost the same height, he was still tall enough that from the distance she was at, nothing but his arm motions would be in view. Sighing, he grabbed her elbow, and pulled her beside him. He appreciated the distance, hell he would’ve loved it if it were anybody else right now. Tony felt like a dick for making a child feel like they had to be so far away, not out of fear, but some fucked up respect and reverence.

“Which ones?” He began cutting the meat in half and pretended he hadn’t done anything odd.

“I know Africa, Asia, Australia, and America. Unless, the Antarctic is a continent?”

Tony hummed, “you know enough. Geography lesson for the day. Seven continents. Africa, Asia, Europe, Australia, Antarctica, and South and North America. Separate continents.”

“Why aren’t they one?”

“Some people from the East believe we are, like some people think Europe and Asia are one continent. But in America, the country, it’s one.” Tony grabbed a mallet and hit the chicken to flatten it out.

Kai flinched at the noise. Tony paused his actions and turned his head. “It’s already dead, is it not?”

Laughing, Tony continued. “This is so it cooks faster and well enough that it’s not raw. Humans aren’t really supposed to be eating raw food.”

Convinced, Kai nodded. “The United States of America? Why is there another? Did the continent or country come first?”

“Yep, there’s another because white people are extremely greedy–example: me– and I honestly don’t know.” Tony pulled out seasonings from his cabinets and poured them over the four flattened pieces.

“I’m still confused, but I won’t ask anymore.” Kai looked more interested in his cooking than questions, so Tony kept quiet, for now. Cooking was always better with music than talking anyways. “Fri, I’m in the mood for Jazz, put some Frank Sinatra on.”

The rest of the process was muscle memory to Tony. It was a simple dish that his mother made whenever she was there enough to not care about her figure. And nobody could compare to his chicken Alfredo. Everyone who had a bite could attest to it.

“I should make some for Peter.” He mumbled mindlessly, grating Parmesan cheese.

“Your intern?” Kai intoned. She was no longer looking at him. Her eyes were closed and she was leaning on her hand resting on the counter. Tony made her watch over the chicken (which he was monitoring on his own, he wasn’t sure she’d know what the “perfect brown” was) and Kai was oddly attached to the tongs. Her head bopped lightly to the music.

Tony nodded.

“What do spiders look like?” She opened her eyes and stood up to her full height.

“Flip the chicken.” Tony ordered. “They have eight legs and round bodies. Anything else is truly up to the species.”

Kai obeyed, carefully turning over the meat to the opposite side. “Does Peter have eight legs? And two arms, or does he have six legs and two arms?”

Those were both terrible images put into his mind. Tony couldn’t help but laugh. Kai narrowed her eyes, no anger, but probably a desire to have her questions answered.

“Peter isn’t an actual spider.” He explained.

“Then, he has a spider bite.” Kai finished flipping the fillets and focused her eyes on the genius.

“Yes. But not an actual spider’s mouth.” Tony completed grating the cheese he needed.

The perplexing look on Kai’s face was photo-worthy. Tony hoped Fri had captured this moment. “He’s still human. With a spider bite.”

“Then why is he your intern?”

“Because he’s extremely intelligent and deserves the opportunity.” It was a spiel he had prepared for many occasions if push came to shove and someone asked him the questions. The confusion still didn’t leave the younger’s face, though.

“You didn’t know if I was intelligent, though.” She said in a confused manner.

Did Kai think she was an intern? Tony guessed he never explained it, so she probably assumed since he was going to compare them, it fit into her memory like that. “You’re not an intern. An intern is like someone who’s working, but being watched over to see if they can work for real.” Did paid jobs exist underwater? Did currency exist underwater?

“So what am I?”

“A fish.” He was now the one confused.

The girl sighed, finally placing the tongs down. “I thought being an intern was really important. I thought Peter was your original intern and that’s why you mentioned him a lot. And I tried to give you space so that Peter could come in. I also wanted to know what a spider was. But interns don’t seem that important. So, like.” She actually seemed frustrated. “Am I an intern, I can work too. But interns don’t seem important enough to have a big room and big bathtub. And maybe Peter has a big bathtub too, but I don’t see him here.”

Ah, there it was. “Kai, you’re here because I wanted to help you.” And he thought she wanted to come along. Was she having second thoughts? While he was cooking a personal meal.

“I had a fountain.”

“That is not a suitable place to live for a child.”

“I am a mermaid! I-” She paused, glaring at her legs. “You are going to die.”

What. “The hell does that mean!?”

Kai’s eyes widened and she immediately backtracked. “No! I mean you will die, but, like. I could have killed you. You are going to die because you are too nice. And you are injured!”

“Well you haven’t killed me yet, so I think I have a good intuition on who’s planning to hurt me or not.”

His father. His mother. His first twenty fucking girlfriends and boyfriends (it only stopped hurting after he stopped caring). Obie. Rhodey (it was his own fault). Pepper (again, his fault) Barton. Rogers (he should have known).

The frown on the younger’s face did not go away. “You are going to die being nice.”

Crisis averted. Tony asked her to place the chicken on a plate. “I’m quite sure when I die, it’ll be because all of my failures have come back to haunt me.” He snorted.

Kai looks at him funnily before completing her task. “Why does Peter have a spider bite?”

“I don’t know.” The glare was back. “I’m serious! When I met him, he had already been slinging out of buildings with webs for years.” He added heavy cream, butter, and garlic to the pan.

“Confused.”

He couldn’t run from this conversation. Sorry, Peter. “Spiders make webs to capture food and their homes.”

There were a few moments of silence as Tony stirred the mixture. “So he is a spider?”

Tony added some more seasonings and poured the shredded cheese into the pan. “No. He’s Spider-man. He got bit by a radioactive spider and now has powers. Peter’s a mutant.”

The last part, Kai most likely assumed. “Man-spider makes more sense. He doesn’t have eight legs, or limbs at least.”

It would, Tony mused. But it sounded way less cool. “I can show you some clips of him. If you would like.” Tony could do this. Tony could talk about Peter for hours. He is nothing but proud of the vigilante and what he dedicates his life to.

“Clip?”

“Of a video.” Tony motioned to the T.V. in the living room. She’d been there multiple times, probably saw Tony and Rhodey watching some stuff in there, but had no clue what it was. Or maybe she had bigger fish to fry at the time.

The pasta was done, so Tony combined it with the completed sauce. “Place the chicken when I plate the pasta. Let’s move to the living room to watch Spider-man in action.”

Once they made it to the couches, Tony asked Friday, “pull up spider-clips on YouTube, they always get the best view of Pete.” Kai was shoveling food in her mouth as the screen turned on. She was entirely focused on the T.V. though. The only thing that came out of her mouth were satisfied hums and questions about Peter.

“Is he red and blue? That doesn’t seem too human to me.”

“That’s a costume.”

“Why is he wearing a costume?”

“Because he doesn’t want people to know who he actually is.”

“Why? He seems super nice. Look! He just saved a cat! Really nice.” With the way Kai swallowed around her food, he was scared she was going to choke between sentences.

“He’s still pretty young, and people who don’t like him would be able to hurt him and his aunt much easier with that information.” Tony was working on the clause within the Accords to make it easier for superheroes and vigilantes to stay anonymous, especially if they were minors.

Kai’s frown was dampened by the sauce outlining the corners of her mouth. The white sauce made her look years younger. Tony held back a laugh as she spoke. “Why does he have enemies?”

And Tony wished he could form a proper answer. “I dunno, Kai. I don’t know.”

This placated the mermaid for the time being, as she focused her attention to the T.V. again and saw a different angle of Spider-man knocking a guy who stole some woman’s purse (Tony couldn’t believe people actually did that in real life) on his feet. He was obviously holding back, and even pushed a few bucks in the guy’s pocket after returning the woman’s purse.

Scraping of a bowl was heard in Tony’s ears. Kai had cleared her plate. Some was left on her cheeks, but it was okay, it was weirdly adorable. The girl frowned at the plate, like it did her dirty for being empty.

“Do you want another bowl?” He asked, not looking at her.

“Can I?” Her eyes were wide, and Tony didn’t want to know if that wonder was left over from Peter’s awesomeness or from the thought that she could actually eat.

“Course, you can eat whenever you want.”

Kai plated herself more pasta and chicken quickly. Though she did not dig in when she sat back down. “I do not know what to eat.”

“Well, what’s in front of you, for sure.”

Not off put by his joke, Kai continued. “I do not eat unless you or Mr. Rhodey are eating. It is unkind, is it not?”

Tony’s heart stutters a bit, leading the girl’s eyes to flutter downwards, but ultimately turn back up to his face in concern. Why was she concerned? “Kai, you should not follow my model for human eating, I’m like one of the worst examples that don’t have a disorder.”

If the girl’s eyebrows could furrow together any further, there would be an oncoming uni-brow. “I thought this was how all people ate. I did not eat unless my father did, or his guests.”

“Well daddy dearest isn’t number one in my books right now, but Kai, Kaimana. You should not have to wait to eat. Seriously, raid my fridge and pantry. It needs to be cleaned out anyway.”

“If you’re unhappy that I don’t eat, then I should be more unhappy with you, no?” Kai’s eyebrows loosened, but her face was still set in a frown. It looked a bit silly around the noodles she began to slurp, but still frustrated nonetheless. “You eat little, I eat little.”

Her caveman speech took a few seconds to register in the genius’s brain, but Tony had a decent understanding of her annoyance with him. It wasn’t anything that his other friends hadn’t been concerned about. But like he said previously, he was the worst person to look at for eating habits.

Now he had a kid looking at him for guidance. And yeah, Tony knew that she was from the literal down under and customs were different and all that. But this food thing makes him think, how much is she copying him because she’s trying to be human, and how much is just weird shit from mermaid land? Tony has basically adopted a little duckling and placed her into a line of fire, she was trying to assimilate by mimicking one of the most eccentric men alive. Good god.

“Yeah, no, that’s not gonna work. I’m not being guilt-tripped into eating three square meals a day by a fish.” Tony paused the T.V., they weren’t paying any attention to it anyway. Sorry Peter. “Don’t look at me like that! I don’t eat much for many good and not so good reasons. You are a growing girl who just so happens to be half fish. Not eating will have more consequences on you than I.”

“You are sick, you need to eat.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “I know I do, you and everyone else wants me to. But unless you drag me from my lab or keep me out, I’m not fitting anybody’s Eurocentric schedule of eating.”

“We can eat on our own schedule then, Miss Friday can help me.” Kai sounded more hopeful than demanding, and Friday responded in turn.

“Of course, Boss can be put on the meal recommendations he had when the Colonel and Pepper were here.”

“This is mutiny, baby girl, mutiny.”

There was a question on Kai’s lips, but it got paused by the sound of the elevator coming up to their floor and Friday’s announcement.

“Harley Keener is en route to this floor. He has access to this floor, is this alright, Boss?”

Well, fuck.

“Is Mr. Keener another intern of yours?” Kaimana had cleared off her plate again, licking around her lips. Too much sauce still remained on her face. Did she not notice because water would normally wash away anything that stuck to mermaid’s faces? Or was she just a messy eater?

“No, he’s a… he’s a kid.” Tony couldn’t really tell her about Iron Man so randomly, and then explain how he got a child, even younger than she, involved in the multitude of people who desired to see him dead. The list had a much larger reach than Peter’s, and while that wasn’t that hard to do, he wished it didn’t get much longer. For both of them.

Kai’s face scrunched up, and only then did Tony realize he was wiping her face clean with a wet paper towel. His hands froze and dropped it on the floor. What the hell was he doing?

“With big eyes and a love for science?” Curse Rhodey for plaguing her mind, now he could never live it down.

Without waiting for an answer, the mermaid faced the opening doors of the elevator. Harley was revealed, a mischievous grin on his face, that morphed into a small face of confusion, then back to the grin when he looked back at Tony. He walked forward, entering the floor and swerving his way to the living room.

“Mechanic.” The boy said. Only one word, but Tony felt his chest palpitating like he’d just run a marathon. Harley was not one for emotional gestures, neither was he, but he was most definitely not as emotionally avoidant as Tony was. One thing he was grateful for. Arms wrapped around his figure and his arms found themselves around Harley’s frame. Which was much larger than it was before.

“You’re damn near taller than me, Harls, what are they feeding you in Tennessee?” He was not going to admit that he was in fact shorter than the boy, that was too much for his whittling ego.

Harley’s face showed he wanted to say more, but opted to say, “magic beans. Now, I would love to kiss cheeks and sip tea together, but my momma told me it’s rude to ignore other people in the room.” He detached himself from their embrace and focused on the Kaimana, who no longer had sauce all over her face.

She watched both of them with the same amount of curiosity she had when talking about Peter. The girl stood and bowed her body in front of him. Weird, he didn’t get a bow.

Harley took this in stride and did a noncommittal bow in return, then held out his hand. Kai tilted her head towards Tony for a moment. But, she slowly held out her own hand, just lightly placing it in the other teenagers.

This was the longest handshake in existence. Tony was going to be put in a retirement home before they finished.

With no amount of finesse the genius expected Harley to have, he pulled Kai’s hand close to lips and placed a gentle kiss to it. If Kai could visibly blush, there was none of it, just the same inquisitiveness she always has. “I’m Harley Keener, the Mechanic calls me Harls, or whatever he feels. Feel free to follow his example.”

Kai, copying exactly what Harley had just done, kissed the boy’s hand and placed a small smile on her face. “I’m Kaimana, please call me Kai.” She looked over at the genius again, “or whatever, nicknames are something your kind likes, right?”

Harley, both a bit flustered and confused, mouthed the words ‘your kind’ and followed Kai’s decision to face Tony. The man was thoroughly endeared and a bit disgusted at the sight of them.

“She’s a fish.”

“I’m a mermaid.” Kai corrects. “I have eaten more fish than any human could ever imagine. They fear me.” Tony snorted, thinking of a shirt he saw circling around Facebook years ago. It was definitely somewhere in the depths of one of his closets.

“This is real confusing, I have to say.” Harley butts in, still holding Kai’s hand. “I guess my assumption about you being some sorta exchange student was wrong?”

“I have nothing to exchange, but I am learning here. Half right, Mr. Keener.”

Harley grimaced. “Yeah, take back on the ‘call me whatever’ statement. Anything but that, please.”

“Harley, Mr. Harley.”

“You’ve got to stop putting Miss and Mister in front of everything. It doesn’t make it more polite.”

“Don’t be a spoilsport, Tony. She can say whatever she wants.”

Rolling his eyes, Tony notices Kai placing a hand on the other teenager’s chest.

“Alright, alright. No pawing at each other anymore.”

Kai’s eyebrows were furrowed up again, though. She didn’t listen to his demand. “He is hurt, Mr. Stark.”

The man sharply focused on the kid in his tower seriously for the first time since he entered. Harley visibly had no issues, there were no injuries he could see. But Kai had sniffed Tony out when he was ‘in pain.’ Whether it was because of the Arc Reactor, or injuries he sustained almost two years ago, he had yet to ask. But that wasn’t important, Harley had come all the way from Tennessee to New York. No message, no calls, and without his mother and sister. Tony knew there was something wrong, but didn’t want to stress the kid if he’s been out on the road for so long. If Kai could smell it, then he’d take a bite and ask.

“What’s the reason you came all the way up here, Harley?”

The boy in question was silent for a bit, not looking either inhabitant of the Tower in the eye. He then released Kai’s hands and slumped on one of the vacant couches that didn’t have a plate of food on it. “Dad’s back.”

Tony took a sharp breath. The Keeners never said much, but he knew enough. Harley never spoke of him when they first met and often made it so he barely remembered he had a father. Rose, when she was younger, didn’t even know she had one until he came back one day. It was the same day Harley actually used the emergency number (the only way to actually get into the Iron Man suit through a phone) he gave since the issues he faced with The Mandarin. And their mother, bless her heart, grimaced whenever he was mentioned. She was a woman trying to make the most of a man who no longer lived up to the expectation he set for himself. She had to pretend the absence of the man didn’t matter; And the chaos the father brought when he was there didn’t sting.

“Are your mom and sister alright?” Tony couldn’t fault Harley for trying to save his own skin. But he could do right by all of them.

Harley ran a hand over his face. “They should be, he didn’t have any issues with them. Just me.” He was devastated. “I didn’t wanna leave, but… he promised. He said he’d-!”

Tony sat beside the boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I get it. It’s fine.”

He took a deep breath and looked up at the man. “Can I stay here? At least for now?”

“Of course, you can even have your own floor.” Tony joked. Except it wasn’t really a joke, Harley would definitely have his own floor, maybe two, if he asked.

The boy gazed across the room, taking in the blankets and plates of food on the couch and living room tables. Then he smirked, “nah, I think I’ll stay up here with y’all.”

Chapter Text

“So, what you’re saying is that there are two children in your care? Since when did the tower become a daycare?”

“Rhodey! I am outnumbered here, I can only deal with so many unbalanced hormones before I implode!”

A laugh chimed from the other side of the call, throaty and alive. Tony reveled in it. “You had enough teenage angst for a classroom when I met you. You’ll be fine.” And with that, he hung up and left to do lesser things. Like physical therapy and stuff, yuck.

“Mr. Mechanic, what are mechanics?” Kai questions from the couch. She leans her head atop her knees in a curled-up position facing Harley. Tony still felt watched, though.

Bracing himself for this conversation and many upcoming days, Tony walked back into the living area and flopped onto the couch with as much fanfare as possible. “What’s the problem, Harls? Can’t explain it to her?”

Harley is eating some of the pasta they cooked, looking like a starved chipmunk. He glares lightly at him and swallows. “I didn’t know she didn’t know anything, it’s like teaching a baby how to play chess.”

“I’m not a baby,” Kai states. “I’m sixteen.”

“I’m seventeen.” Has it been that long already? God. “So no, you’re not a baby, it was a comparison.”

“Oh, well that’s fine I guess.” Kai nods in acquiescence.

Laughing, Tony asks, “what did you try explaining to her?”

“My weapons— don’t look at me like that! I had to do more than just potato launchers!” Harley defended.

“Please don’t tell me there’s a homemade gas bomb in your garage.”

Harley rolled his eyes, “of course not, that could hurt my sister. It’s a regular grenade.”

“Oh wow, I feel so much more reassured. Thanks Harls.” Tony dryly remarked.

“You’re welcome, I aim to please.”

Kai butted in inquisitively, “can I make a grenade?”

“No.” Tony turned his head to Harley who had a growing smile on his face, “no, I am not having another teenager making dubious materials in my lab.” One of the few times he was allowed in his actual labs unsupervised the past few years was when he was with Peter. They were working on web-shooters (Peter expressed the need to have both his own and bio-engineered ones for back up) and for some reason, the boy had decided that explosive web-shooters were the way to go. Not that Tony actively dissuaded him.

The older teen groaned and threw himself back on the couch dramatically. “But Tony, how could you deprive Kai of her right to build, to create, to innovate.” Harley sat up and pointed at him. “Aren’t you a feminist? The most progressive man of the 21st century?”

“I have literally have never said that, and what do grenades have to do with feminism!?” Tony said exasperatedly.

“What don’t they? Get with the times old man.” Harley snarked.

The mechanic sighed. “With how you’re acting I’m surprised you’re not in theater. If you don’t plan on going to M.I.T., Brown might be a good fit for you.”

Harley scrunched his nose, quite like Kai did, and fake gagged. “Ew, theater arts.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t sung out Heathers to me on multiple occasions, young man. You’d be a big fat liar.”

“That’s besides the point, you’re trying to move on from the point that you don’t want Kai to engineer. Which is her birthright!” Harley exclaimed, pointing at the girl that simply nodded.

“She doesn’t even know what mechanics is! Why would she create a grenade?”

Kai rolled her eyes. She was still curled up and practically pouting while she said, “I know what mechanics is. I just wanted it to be explained.”

Harley nodded. “Exactly, Tin Man, you of all people should be able to explain this to a mermaid.”

Before Tony could go on and dispute on not why he couldn’t and why he shouldn’t, the girl asked. “Another nickname? Why? Is it because he has metal in his chest? It doesn’t look like tin to me.”

“No, it’s because he flies in a tin can.” Harley turns to Tony and incredulously asks, “you didn’t explain Iron Man to her? How long has she been here?”

Kai answered herself. “A week and two days. Is Iron Man like Peter’s man-spider thing? Are you made of iron?”

Tony feels an oncoming headache. First, Kai had (albeit unintentionally) revealed Peter’s identity. He doubts that Harley would do anything with that information, but it still wasn’t his to share. Hopefully Peter will forgive him. Secondly, he somehow had to explain mechanics to someone who know virtually nothing about them and how to lead up to Iron Man. Vaguely, his father saying, “Stark men are made of iron,” plays in his mind while he rubs his forehead.

Worst of all, he realizes that he’s been practically ignoring Kaimana for a whole week for the sake of getting back into working in his lab again. He knew that she was just hanging around, but she was a fucking mermaid. She has been on land for months and has little to no sense of the world around her. She’s having trouble understanding geography and mechanics—does she even know the alphabet?

“Your intern is Spider-man?” Harley tilts his head, then shrugs. “Makes sense, I guess.”

Kai obviously has more questions on her tongue, but holds them because her initial question hasn’t been answered. Tony turns his head up to the ceiling. “Fri, what time is it?”

“It is 7:09 p.m., eastern standard time, Boss.”

“Thank you, Harley, let’s get you to a bedroom.” He looks indignant already, ready to argue with him, but sees the tired yet stern look in his eyes. “You need to rest up Harls. We are having a talk tonight. I’m serious. I also need to explain some things to Kai.”

Harley fixed his lip to say something, but decided against it and stood up wordlessly. He was about to leave the living area, but turned to muttered a quick “night Kai,” and left to the same hallway where Kai’s room was in. Harley has always had a guest room there, and Peter’s room whenever he stayed the night was there too. Maybe he had a child hoarding problem. He’ll deal with that thought later.

Kai’s worried voice pulled him back to the present. “Did I do something wrong? Was I asking too many questions? I can ask less if it bothers you. I just like— I wanna-”

“It’s okay Kai.” He looks at her wobbly eyes, staring into his like he’s about to damn her soul to hell for asking things. “This is kind of my fault for not helping you get used to on-land… stuff.” Tony’s struggling to use words that make sense for this situation, but he’s finding himself stumped.

“Your job isn’t to watch over me.” Kai disagrees. “You’ve already given me a place to sleep and food to eat. I really shouldn’t be asking for much more.”

And if Kai was much older, and a regular human, he would have conceded. Pepper and Rhodey would have dragged her out already. But Kai was a kid—a teenager— and they required attention. Especially ones that come from underwater.

“I offered. I brought you here in hopes of getting you used to land. And I haven’t been doing that at all. Don’t disagree with me.” He could see her opening her mouth to argue, but snaps it shut. “There’s a lot to explain, and I honestly have no clue on where to start. You said you have interacted with humans before you got legs? That’s how you know English this well?”

Kai waved her hands a little bit. “I wouldn’t say interact. I people watched a lot. That’s where I started picking up things.” She paused for a second, appearing to try and remember something. “It’s like a puzzle? That’s a word right?” At Tony’s nod she continued. “I didn’t really know what they were saying at first, but then there were words that would pop up a lot. And I kinda just start… figuring out the pattern? English is like a big pattern I have to figure out.”

At Tony’s encouraging look, she continued. “I didn’t really start speaking until I was on land. I spent a lot of time listening to people. But obviously, there’s a lot I still don’t get.”

“You’ve been here for four months and you can speak this well?” Tony was amazed, he was no slacker when it came to intellect, his first word being “captain” at eighteen months. But that was with a silver spoon in his mouth and the most caring nanny in existence watching over him. Kai had somehow gotten to speaking like an exchange student that has been given the resources to study English for a year. “I guess when people say the best way to learn a language is to be in the culture, they weren’t wrong. Your acquisition of grammar structures and retention of vocabulary is amazing though.”

Kai’s cheeks… sparkled. Her cheeks fucking sparkled what the hell. “I’m still learning. I still have so much to learn.” Did all mermaids sparkle? Tony thought that was a vampires only kind of thing.

Shaking his head, Tony continued. “Nonsense, well not really. Of course you have a lot to learn. We all have a lot to learn. But you might just be a genius in the making if your grasp on speaking is anything to go by. Can you read?”

“Yes?” Tony raised his brow. “I can read, I think. There is a gap in my mind though. I sometimes can’t put an image to the words y’know? Or when I speak I couldn’t say how to spell it. But I can read.”

“I’ll ask Friday to give you some lesson plans, maybe Hooked on Phonics?” Tony laughed internally. “You should be deciphering Edgar Allan Poe in no time. Oh, what about math? Can you do math? We already know science isn’t your strong suit, for now. It will be, this is a science-friendly, everything else-deadly household.”

“I can do numbers, not numbers with letters though. I don’t understand how you add things with words.”

“Don’t worry Nemo, we’ll shape up your brain in no time. And you’ll be the smartest mermaid in Atlantis.”

Kai simply nodded, as she had no idea what he was talking about. Which was sad, Tony was hoping there was an underwater city that no one knew about.

“I have a list of tutorials for Kaimana ranging from basic grammar to physics. They are from a list of the best teachers and professors across the globe.” Friday’s Irish lilt called out.

“Always ahead of the game, Fri. But let’s save those for tomorrow. I have to grill Harley for some answers.” He wouldn’t actually force him to say anything if he didn’t want to. But if Harley felt the need to come all the way up to New York with his father being back at the house, something must have happened. Tony stood up, his knees popping slightly. He really needed to stretch more. Kai mirrored his actions and wobbled a little. Most likely not from weary bones, but her knees. He wondered why she still had trouble with balance, she has been on land for a while.

Instead of asking though, he led the way down the kids’ hallway (crazy thing, he knew) and let Kai enter her room. She turned around and waved her hand while saying, “rest well Mr. Tony, and tell Harley to rest well as well. He is hurt.” Her door was shut.

And with that, Tony took a deep breath and soldiered on to Harley’s shut door. He knocked a few times and listened for a response. He was gifted a small grunt in affirmation, leading him to open the door.

Harley was sitting to the side, on a plush gray couch that Tony bought simply because he thought would look good in the room. He won’t admit that he has sought out the couch just to lay on it. He didn’t feel like buying another one, okay?

“Hey, mechanic. Here to make me spill my guts?” Harley had showered. His change of clothes apparent and damp hair flopped over his eyes. Tony wondered when the last time he got a haircut was. He has grown, and not just in height. While he was wearing a baggy M.I.T. sweatshirt (one that he stole from Rhodey, that disappeared from his wardrobe somewhere) and loose sweatpants, he could tell that there was a bit of muscle put on.

The engineer didn’t see fit to comment on his growth though, Harley’s posture was more wound up than a jack-in-the-box about to pop. He was hiding. He was afraid. And the last thing Tony wanted was for him to feel cornered.

“Nope.” Tony walked in and crouched in front of the sitting boy. A quick look of surprise crossed his face, but it left as Harley continued talking.

“What, don’t wanna hear about my daddy issues? Or would that be hitting too close to home?” The man sucked in a breath. Tonight was gonna be rough one.

Feeling as though he wasn’t going to last long with his heels planted on the floor. Tony fell back on his ass and looked up at the teenager. He was basically glaring at him, eyeing his every move, probably wondering when he was going to snap.

Tony wasn’t proud of how he fell into panic around a much smaller Harley. Stress levels were high, he was having a perpetuate anxiety attack and fuck else. And Tony had released it all on a tiny little boy who was dealing with his own problems at home. It wasn’t until a little later that he realized that a renovated garage wasn’t enough. He couldn’t leave a kid he had spilled a smidge of his heart out to alone. So, with great reluctance, he geared up to do it again.

“My father gave me my first taste of alcohol when I was six years old.” Tony stated simply. As if he was recalling a random memory from childhood. It basically was to him. But Harley’s eyes had widened incredibly. “I had dropped something heavy and hot on my foot and was crying. And normally, he would yell at me to shut my trap or hold my mouth shut until I stopped. But I guess the bottle was making him feel a little kinder that day.”

“He told me, ‘Anthony, when tears come to your eyes, drink this. I hope it’ll shut you up like it does your mother.’ And it did, sometimes. Others, I’d be much more annoying while drunk, it depended. I’m not sure he’s exactly to blame for my alcohol addiction, ‘cause I kinda mixed that with as many other addictions as possible at the time. But he sure as hell didn’t help.” Tony didn’t remember when he lifted his head to avoid looking at the teen in the eyes, but when he realigned them with Harley’s, a softened expression was on his face. Still guarded, but much less tense.

“Was that too much?” Tony cringed.

Harley gave him a small smile and nodded. “A little.” Before Tony could apologize he said, “I don’t mind, but I sure as hell wasn’t expecting a ‘you show me yours and I’ll show you mine,’ kind of talk. Jesus Tony.”

“You don’t have to talk about it tonight, Harls. You don’t even have to talk about it tomorrow. If next month is too early, that’s fine. I’m not gonna say I know what you’re going through, I don’t. But I do know that I have a few decades worth of daddy issues I unfortunately still have to unpack.” Tony would have long since gotten over them if not for that stupid fucking recording, unloading a can of worms that Tony loathes to touch.

“And if you ever want to talk about it. Then I’ll be here. And I want you to know that I’ll listen.”

Harley’s bottom lip wavers a little bit. And he opens his mouth a few times before saying. “I don’t know how to talk about it.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have-”

“No.” Harley interrupts. “I want to. I just… it’s hard.” Tony nods. The first time Tony ever told Rhodey about his childhood, it was after a long night of drinks and in a random classroom that they had broke into. Rhodey had hugged him so hard and forced him to promise that he would spend the holidays with him instead of the empty house full of broken memories. Tony might have cried, but that could just be his memory getting cloudy.

“He hit me.” Comes out of Harley’s mouth. It’s not angry, not scared, just plainly accepted truth. “He tried coming into the garage—my garage— and I said no. And he hit me.” Tony’s heart burned in a way that it hadn’t since he screamed at Peter and took away his suit. A way it hadn’t burned since a certain somebody looked in his eyes and shoved a shield in his heart. That sad excuse of a man had the audacity to waltz back into the family he chose to break and make demands.

“And it wasn’t just that he hit me. Or-or that he did it multiple times. I’m tough, I can take it.” But you shouldn’t have to, rang through Tony’s head. But he allowed the teen to finish. “But that if I told my mom, that I’d be a coward. And that I’d be ruining Rose’s chances of having a happy family. That my mom was happy that he was here and—” Harley gasped for breath, his head dipping low and his hands coming up beside his ears to grab at his hair.

Tony scrambled to get up on his knees. Wanting to make sure the kid didn’t hurt himself, but also not wanting to touch him and make it worse.

“He’s such a fucking liar. Mom is stuck between wanting him and wishing he never existed. Rosie is confused all the time. She asked me how long it would be before he left again. And I’m not a fucking coward. I was—I just couldn’t stay there. I couldn’t build. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep without thinking about him lurking. And he makes himself known. He wants me to sell all the equipment you gave me so he could buy more beer or something. And when I tell him no he loses his shit. Like he’s never been told no in his life or something.”

“Harls-”

“He starts screaming like a maniac, saying shit like ‘I’m the man of the house, you will obey me.’ Or some shit. What kind of toxic alpha male crap is he on, y’know?” Harley is shuddering. Thankfully, he’s not pulling on his hair hard enough for Tony to be worried.

“Harley. Can I touch you?” The teen in question snapped his head up in a way that concerned him. A breathy, ‘yeah’ left his lips and Tony slowly opened his arms. Harley sat still for a second and leapt of the couch into them. Silent sobs shook his frame as Tony wrapped as much of the overgrown boy into his arms. Tony wished he had to ability to shield him from the world, from the man that made Harley feel like he couldn’t stay in his own home, from the bruises that made him flinch whenever Tony pressed a spot on him too hard.

“He can’t get you here, okay, Harls?” A ragged breath was his only response. “I’d have Pepper sue his ass to hell and back before he could even think about it. I’ll even have Fri put a lockdown on everything in your garage ‘kay?”

Harley choked out, “I’m so scared for my mom and Rosie. What if-if he hurts them instead and it’s all my fault.”

“Mi caro, no.” Tony’s hands brush through Harley’s grown out hair. “Nothing that man does will ever be your fault. Don’t you ever think that it will be. We can figure out a way to contact your mom and sister but you need to rest.”

The teen leans into Tony’s touch, silent in turn to Tony’s request. He slowly brings them both up to their knees and hobbles them over to the king-sized bed in-between a nightstand and the bathroom. Harley flops face forward into the comforter and groans, which makes Tony giggle. He allows the man to maneuver him under the sheets and tuck him in. 

“Your Italian slipped out.” Harley commented, opening one red-rimmed eye and shutting it with a snicker when Tony rolled his. Sinking into the bed made him realize how tired crying made him.

Tony looked at the exhausted boy and took in his appearance fully. His feet now stretched far into the sheets, his hair fell around his head haphazardly. While Tony thought he looked adorable, he couldn’t help but notice the damn near purple bags under his eyes and an almost faded bruise under his chin. It must have been hidden under his hair. A stir of protectiveness rose in his chest like no other.

With all the care in the world, Tony brushed the hair covering his forehead and placed a feather-light kiss on Harley’s head. Only remembering how intimate that was when he had already done. Before he could make a hasty retreat in embarrassment, a slender, callous hand grabbed his wrist.

Eyes still closed, Harley whispers out, “you’re nothing like him.” And drops his hand.

Tony nods, even if he can’t see it and makes his way towards the door. He wasn’t sure which he Harley meant. But it meant everything to him regardless.

And if Tony shed a tear or two after he closed the door behind him gently?

Well, that was between him and Friday.