Work Text:
Memories
It was a normal, everyday, boring morning on the Aurora for the crew of the Mechanisms. Nothing was happening, and Jonny for once was in a relatively good mood. They had spent the past week on a planet and he was feeling relaxed and ready for the next adventure.
It was only a two-day trip to the next planet over in the system they were in, so they had only done a small food shop, but hey, it was enough for all nine of them.
He could smell sizzling bacon for breakfast from the corridors to the mess which was good. He hoped they also had eggs and maybe some sausage to go with it. He was hungry.
His body froze as he took in the scene when he turned to look in the kitchen when he entered the mess, ready to see if anything was ready to pick up and start munching on now. Instead, what he saw was Brian’s back arched over Tim, who was kicking his feet a little, as Brian’s arms were wrapped around his neck.
After that point, he had no idea what had happened or why that had set him off. All he remembered until he came back to his senses lying on a couch with his head on Ashes’ lap was fear and the urgent, burning need to get the two separated.
There were tears on his face, which was fucking great, especially since the rest of the crew were there watching him now. He blinked at them. “What?”
“Not going by she/her pronouns right now, Jonny,” Tim stated, frowning down at him.
He could feel the confusion on his face as much as the emotion itself was making itself known. “What? I know that. I don’t…what happened?”
“You don’t remember?” Marius asked and Jonny could hear the delight in his voice at that. Wow. He really didn’t feel like being psychoanalysed by that arse right now.
He shook his head and sat up. He was shaking and the end of an adrenalin rush was making itself known. He was tired and upset and shaky and he had no idea why. “No. What happened?”
“You walked in on me and Tim in the kitchen. You started screaming for me to get off her.”
What Brian just said made no sense. Why would he be upset by those two fooling around? It wouldn’t be the first time he had wandered in on them, and if they hadn’t wanted anyone to walk in on them, they could have taken it somewhere more private than the floor of a very public part of the ship they all frequented.
“I…I don’t get it. What?” he replied.
“Flashback,” Ashes said beside him. “That’s what we all think anyway.”
And that just confused him even more. “Of what? I don’t even know what happened? I don’t have memories of anything that would set me off on walking in on those two.”
He went to get up and collapsed back down into the seat, because his heart had lost its normal rhythm. How did he only now notice that? He winced, holding a hand to the plate on his chest. “Fuck, my heart hurts. Maybe I just need maintenance or something.”
Since he never complained of things like that, he knew that was a stupid excuse, but at the same time, he wasn’t kidding for once. He rubbed at the metal there, knowing it won’t do anything, but it was soothing.
“I’ll set up the lab for you. Come by when you can stand without falling over,” Raphaella stated, before flitting off to do as she said.
He grimaced, because he hated when he had to have maintenance done. At least this time she can take a quick peek to see if anything is wrong before knocking his arse out if there was. Because the way things are going for him, this was, dare he even think it, emotionally driven pain.
Ashes squeezed his shoulder a bit, before getting up and walking out of the room, leaving the rest to mill around watching him. He let out a sigh and slowly this time, got to his feet. He swayed a little, feeling off somehow but he didn’t know in what way.
Brian was at his side, fussing like always. He knew there’d be no getting rid of him, especially since he was one of the ones that was involved with whatever the hell this trigger was. “Here, Jonny, I’ll walk with you.”
He leaned against him and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Fine, let’s go, before Raph decides to chase me around the ship to get me in there…”
Brian grinned at him and nodded. Thankfully, the others must have taken the hint and stayed behind in the rec room he had been in. Apparently, he had been in the kitchen or the mess when the incident occurred. When had they taken him out of the room? He hadn’t revived from a death.
They had been in the corridors heading towards the labs for a minute, before Brian opened his mouth and begun talking. “Jonny, you do know I would never violate anyone’s consent sexually, yes?”
He looked at him in surprise at that one. “Well, yeah. Course I know that. Is it relevant?”
Brian hesitated, before shrugging. “I don’t know. You saw us and Tim said you froze and blanked out, and then you were on my back screaming at me to get off her. You were using your fists to hit my back. You didn’t even go for a knife. I think…I think it was from before you were mechanised.”
Jonny tried to remember, he really did, but it wasn’t ever going to work. He let out an explosive sigh and rubbed at his face. “No wonder I can’t fucking remember whatever the hell happened. Too far back.”
Brian made a face at him he couldn’t figure out. “Sometimes I don’t know whether that’s a good or bad thing.”
He grinned at that. “What, my poor human brain only being able to fit so much in before older shit gets shoved into the forget pile?”
“Yes.”
He laughed and then winced as he felt something slightly shift in his chest. “Ah, fuck. One of the gears has fallen out of place. Happens sometimes if my heart starts ticking faster than it should… Thankfully, an easy fix. Won’t even have to knock me out for it.”
“Won’t that hurt?” Brian asked, looking at him in concern. Did he get stuck with Brian in constant boring mode or something?
“Like a heart attack.” With a shrug, he began walking again towards Raph’s lab. Brian glued to his side, so he didn’t fall over when the pain spiked.
* * * * * * * * * *
It only took a few seconds for Raphaella to put the gear back on its track and get it going properly again, but it was a couple of seconds where his heart was stopped so she could do it. It was painful, it was exhausting, it was always terrifying, and he really couldn’t take any more of that today.
He couldn’t take much of anything anymore. He was done. The day had barely started and all he could think of was to curl up in a ball somewhere.
Thankfully, both Raph and Brian had noticed this. Brian let out a sigh. “I’ll carry him to his room.”
He wanted to tell him to fuck off, but his voice seemed to not be working and neither were his limbs. Great, he’d gone into a shut down. He frowned and blinked at them. At least he could do that…
“I’m going to pick you up now. I’m putting one hand under your knees and the other at the small of your back and I will hold you to my body. I’m giving off heat right now, so that should at least be more comfortable for you.”
He hummed at that, because heat sounded good. He felt Brian’s hands going where he said they would be going and lifting him up and then he was against Brian’s warmed clothes. He automatically curled up closer at that and let out a sigh. It felt nice.
“Okay. I got you. Raphaella, is there anything that needs to be done for after what you just did?”
“No. Usually he just pops something for pain and leaves. He’s a bit out of it right now though.”
“Okay. Going now, Jonny.”
He was held closely at that and was slowly walked to his room. He heard as the door opened and he felt it as he was placed on his bed. He can’t remember when he had closed his eyes. He opened them again, as soon as he heard Brian walking away. He whined. “No…”
Brian stopped and turned back to him. “No, what?”
“Don’ wanna be alone…”
Brian frowned at that. “Do you want me or someone else? I can stay until someone else gets here if you want.”
He frowned at that but nodded. “Tim.”
Brain came back over to the bed and sat down beside him, as he messaged Tim to get his arse here over the comms. Jonny watched from his prone position by his side and wriggled around until he could put his head on Brian’s lap. Seemed Tim wanted to know if there were unfortunate side effects to going to the lab today. No, there weren’t. Not of the kind he was worrying about anyway.
“Are you coming out of the shut down?” Brian asked.
He shrugged awkwardly from his position. “Can move and talk. Still fuzzy round the edges and everything feels kind of far away.”
“Hmm, okay. Tim is on his way, in case you didn’t just read that.”
He pouted. “I can read…”
“I never said you can’t.”
He bumped his head against Brian’s legs and let out a groan. “This sucks…”
Brian’s hand began running its way through his hair and it felt nice. “We know it sucks. You know this will happen again. It’s not the first time. It’s the first time without us knowing what triggered it, but these things happen all the time.”
Jonny grinned. “Oh, shut up. I’m allowed to complain about my fucked up trauma.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t.”
They fell into silence before Tim arrived, huffing his way into the room, likely having run there. “Okay, what the fuck is going on? I am so lost but I’m here now.”
“Can I get up now, Jonny?” Brian asked, as soon as Tim had stopped talking.
He grabbed hold and frowned. “No. You stay too.”
Tim pointed with a frown. “And this is why I am confused. Jonny never calls for me after episodes like this. He always either gets you or Ashes to stay with him. He has you, why ask for me?”
Jonny scowled in Tim’s direction. “Shut up and get over here.”
Tim did as he was told for once, joining him and Brian on the bed. Jonny wriggled his body around so he was lying across both of them. He hummed and nodded in Brian’s lap. “Great. And yeah I normally wouldn’t call you in for this, because you’re not one of the original crew. It feels weird, but this time I am making an exception.”
Tim began rubbing his back, while Brian kept up with his hair. “Why the exception?”
He grunted and lifted his head to look at Tim. “Cause I ruined your fun. I didn’t mean to, and I still have no idea what set me off, but I ruined your fun. Didn’t see the point of calling in Ashes with Brian already here and being all warm, so this way the two of you still get to spend time together. I’m probably going to sleep anyway.”
Tim blinked at him, before he snorted and begun laughing. “Ah, Jonny, you can be a real idiot sometimes, you know? Fine, me and Brian are both here and together. And you’re in the middle.”
He grinned at that. “Yes, I am. At least I know I won’t be fucking anything up here.”
Brian chuckled at that. “Okay. How do you want us?”
Jonny sat up and his back cracked with the sudden movement. He winced, before letting out a moan of relief. “Uh, Brian at my back to keep me warm and Tim at my front.”
“Facing you or giving you my back?” Tim asked, as Brian shifted them around so he could lay down and hold Jonny against him.
“Facing me. Then you and Brian can talk while I’m out.”
Tim let out a sigh, but crawled around so that he was lying down facing him. “Better?”
Jonny reached out and pulled him forwards until they were all squished together. “Hng, now I am.”
He closed his eyes, knowing it wouldn’t take him long to pass out. Before he fell into disjointed, unsettling dreams, he caught on to Brian filling Tim in on what happened. At least he wouldn’t have to do it himself.