Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kel had waited anxiously for Sunny to open the door, he knew these next three days would be his last chance to be with Sunny before he was gone. To his surprise, Sunny opened the door and Kel felt many complex emotions he didn’t know how to describe, but he knew this was his chance to be by Sunny again. This would be the first time in four years that Kel felt joy like this and it was only the beginning, the next few days he would be with all the people he considered his best friends. It wasn’t the same, many things changed between all of them, but they all decided to be there for each other this time. But their happiness was like a fragile vase on the edge of a counter waiting for someone to knock it down, it almost fell when Sunny and Basil were hospitalized from their fight. But it came crashing down, shattering into dozens of pieces from the truth.

–

The truth of that night came flowing out of Sunny’s mouth without relenting. When all was said and done the something that haunted Sunny, always behind him, the dark presence, a constant reminder of his sin was suddenly gone. The overbearing feeling dissipated, still, the pain of it all remains, but it felt like Mari had forgiven him, maybe he really could start to forgive himself. Sunny looked at Basil, hoping he could feel a sort of freedom as well, and he smiled, feeling tears brimming in his eyes. Basil smiled back as if he was saying thank you, similar emotions brewing inside.

Sunny is brought back to a harsh reality when Aubrey grabs him by the collar of his hospital gown, anger-filled tears pricking her eyes threatening to fall at any moment. “Why the hell are you smiling? Is this some stupid joke?!” Sunny could see in her eyes, Aubrey was praying with all her heart that it was some cruel stupid joke, but the even crueler truth is that it wasn’t. Sunny felt his throat strain, it was hard to look at Aubrey, but he was done turning away from the truth. He had to face the music not only for himself but for his friends, they deserved it.

“It’s true, it’s my fault, I pushed her….” Aubrey clenched her fist she wanted to hit him, she was going to. As she lifted her arm, Hero ran out of the room without a word and Kel yelled after him snapping out of his daze. Kel looked down at Basil with pleading eyes, not wanting to believe Sunny’s words, Basil looked at Kel for just a moment and felt shame, so he quickly averted his gaze. 1, 2, 3 Seconds passed and the punch Sunny was waiting for never came.

The longer Aubrey looked at Sunny her resolve faded and she was left with questions that didn’t have answers she was ready to accept. She pushed Sunny out of her way and ran out of the room. She felt like she needed to be alone with her thoughts, praying that her thoughts would not consume her. Sunny had let himself be pushed around, he thought he deserved it; this was his long-overdue punishment.

There was a long pause, so what now? What would be Kel's choice, would he run like Hero and Aubrey or would he welcome Sunny with open arms? Kel always seemed to be the least affected by everything, the most well-adjusted of everyone, at least that's the part he played.

"Sunny… I think you should go. I… I-" Sunny interrupts Kel.

"I get it," Sunny says while taking a step back feeling almost embarrassed. Why did he think Kel, as kind as he was, would forgive him? It was almost funny, Basil and Kel were the only ones that reached out when he shut himself inside, but he pushed them away. Now he was being pushed away, by Kel of all people, the one who persisted longer than Basil. Sunny thought Aubrey's punch would have hurt less. "Bye guys," Basil mouths a goodbye and offers up an awkward smile at this, not knowing the words to say.

It hurt thinking this is how he would say goodbye to his friends. Maybe before he could have continued to fool himself and leave without a problem. But ever since Kel took him outside and he got to experience the colors of the outside world, the hyper-saturated colors of his dream world paled in comparison. As the days passed Sunny found himself craving for real connections, these connections were what gave him the strength to not succumb in the fight against himself. Despite it all he wanted to believe the words of his dreamworld friends, it will get better, so Sunny turned around to leave, accepting this new reality.

Before Sunny was out the door Kel called to him with a shaky smile, "I'll see you later… Okay?" Sunny did a half smile, he wasn't sure if Kel meant those words or if this was just Kel's way of saying goodbye. Still, Sunny appreciated the sentiment.

"Yeah, Later." Sunny felt ready to move on with his life, so he left. The door to Basil's hospital room came to a close with a thud. Kel looked at Basil again, there were still questions he wanted answers to. Basil's feelings were all over the place and he had no idea how to confront Kel, it would have been easier if he left too. But if Sunny had the courage to face it all then he had to do the same.

Basil grabbed at his chest and finally looked back at Kel. Shockingly, Kel's face was crumpled as tears fell down his face, it seemed like he was trying to hold back sobs. Basil clutched at his gown even tighter, growing anxious as heat was building behind his eyes.

"Kel, I- I'm sorry I-," Basil stopped talking then Kel put a hand over the one on Basil's chest.

"It's okay, Basil. I just need answers. No matter what you say, I'll be on your side, I won’t leave. I promise." Kel gives Basil's small hand a squeeze to express his sincerity. Basil nods, deciding to hold Kel's hand back, there was so much that he wanted to say after holding it in all these years.

Chapter Text

Although Kel was not as keen on emotions as others, Basil found he surprisingly was a good listener. He also noticed how well Kel could keep a poker face despite the horrible things Basil told him. Basil wondered if Kel had always been like that. From his memory, he was typically very expressive, heart on his sleeve. His giveaways were when his hand would tense in Basil’s and the inflections of his occasional words.

"Why did you hold it in for so long? Why didn't you just tell the truth?" Basil thought and then thought some more, trying to find the right words, till his thought consumed him becoming darker. But before he could sink deeper, he was pulled out, by a firm squeeze from Kel while the boy called his name, worried.

"I- I never wanted to believe that Sunny did something like that. I wanted to believe it was something else," Basil lets out a strangled half chuckle, "So hypocritical, I know. How could I do something like that to Mari's body? At some point, it wasn't just about protecting Sunny; it was about protecting myself, from the truth, from what I did…."

Kel felt his throat growing tighter at Basil's words. Would he have done the same in Basil's position, he figured he would never know. "Is that why you and Sunny fought?"

"I think Sunny had come to terms with everything, but I was still in denial. I snapped; I wanted to get rid of the thing I thought was controlling Sunny, so I…. Kel, something is wrong with me; I need help. If Sunny didn't try to stop me, I was ready to end it. I was going to kill myself! But I don't want to die; I was just so tired, and I'm still tired." Basil couldn't stop the tears if he wanted to. Kel's heart broke, just how helpless and alone Basil must have felt? Why didn't he realize? Why couldn't he have been more perceptive? Why, why, why?!

Kel could only scoop up Basil's fragile body in his arms, hugging him so firmly, hoping that if just for a moment, he could forget the feeling of loneliness. He repeated the words he kept close to his heart, the words he would repeat to himself every day before getting out of bed, the treasured words from Mari that gave him hope for the future. "It'll be okay, Basil. It's going to get better, I promise."

Basil clung to Kel like he was his only lifeline in a chaotic sea that was ready to swallow him whole. Maybe he would feel embarrassed about it later, but it felt good to let it all out, so Basil cried like a baby. Crying to exhaustion, till his sobs quieted to sniffles, till he could feel how good Kel's hug was and realize how much he missed them. The pounding in Basil's heart slowed, as he slackened his hold on Kel. He took this as his sign, and Kel oh so carefully pulled away till he could see Basil's face again, this time Kel was holding both of Basil's hands.

"I'm sorry, I got your shirt all wet." Kel looks down at his jersey, spotting a big wet spot on his chest.

"That's okay, we are matching,” Basil looks at his shoulder, and there on his gown is an equally big wet spot, which causes him to smile. Hesitant Kel brings up his concerns, “Basil, I don’t want to leave you alone right now, but I’m worried about everyone else. You saw how Aubrey reacted, Hero didn’t even say anything, and Sunny….” Basil’s smile became wistful.

“You can go Kel, I’ll be okay.” Kel searched Basil’s eyes to see if Basil really meant it, but he couldn’t be sure.

“I’ll call you. You have to pick up, alright?”

“Of course, but you should hurry if you want to see Sunny. I talked to his mom when she visited me a few days ago, she said she wanted to leave as soon as Sunny was able, and I think he’s ready to go now. I’ve already taken a lot of your time so you don’t have much left.” Kel is shocked he didn’t think they would leave so soon. Sunny had only woken up from surgery a week ago, but he had been in a dazed state since then like his mind was somewhere far away. He didn’t talk at all, till today; was he really okay to go? Kel was going to find out.

"Thanks, Basil. I'll call you as soon as I'm out! Let's give Sunny a proper goodbye." Kel was feeling antsy now that he knew he was on a time crunch, maybe Sunny was already gone. Basil waves Kel off with a smile. When Kel was out the door his smile faded as he thought. He was alone now, but he didn't feel as lonely as before.

Basil occasionally wondered how his childhood friends would act if they knew. Worried they would hate him and he would no longer be loved by them. If they somehow still loved him, would it be less? Would he still be valued as a human? Would they still look him in the eyes?

Aubrey and Hero couldn't look at or speak to him and Basil could understand why. If he was them he wasn't sure if he'd have the capacity to forgive so easily. Yet, Kel looked at Basil, held him, and promised not to leave him; He couldn't understand that. But he wanted to take the kindness that was given to him.

I lost Grandma, Sunny, Aubrey, and Hero…, but I still have Kel and Polly. Basil thought about the two; Kel still stayed despite everything. Polly, sure she didn't know, but she cared for Basil these past 2 years and he always shut her out emotionally, and she still comes to see him every day even though she is busy taking care of things at home. His parents only bothered to visit for one day before deciding it wasn't serious.

Basil thought it was enough, more love than he deserved. Still, Basil would try to be worthy of it, to love them in return. To live for tomorrow that would surely be better than yesterday. To love himself on days when it was hard. Despite everything, Basil would love. Grandma would've liked that…

The buzzing of his phone snapped him out of his thoughts, and Kel's name was displayed on the screen, causing Basil to smile wholeheartedly. Even though it had only been a few minutes, Kel was relieved when Basil answered his call. Starting their conversation about nothing in particular as Kel was speed-walking to Sunny’s house. Kel made Basil feel like they never even had their tearful conversation and he appreciated the normalcy of their interaction.

"Basil, I see Sunny! You're right he looks like he's about to leave." Basil hears Kel call for Sunny and he tries to imagine what both of their faces look like right now. Kel laughed, "He looked. One moment Basil." He could hear Kel running to Sunny and the way he tried to catch his breath when he stopped.

"Kel?" Sunny's voice was only heard faintly through the phone.

"Hey Sunny, Hello Ms. Tokimitsu."

"What ar-," Sunny is cut off by the loud voice of his mom.

"Oh my Kel, look at you, it's still so surprising to see how big you've gotten!" Kel grins. "You must be here to say goodbye to Sunny?"

"Yeah, me and Basil," he says, holding his phone towards them showing he was on call. Basil and Sunny's mom exchange a few words.

"Well, I'll just finish talking the rest in the car, you can stay here Sunny." She left before Sunny could even come up with a response.

"Why did you come here?" Sunny questioned.

"I said I'd see you later." So he really did mean it. "I didn't mean to send you off like that at the hospital…. Me and Basil wanted to see you off, well I guess Basil can't really see you but you get it, haha." Kel was determined to see Sunny, but now that he was in front of him he didn't know what to say. In the awkward silence, Basil spoke.

"Sunny…, I'm sorry. I wish I could take back what I did, everything. As selfish as this sounds, I hope one day you can forgive me." Sunny looked for the right words, there was so much between them, they had given each other lifelong scars that would connect them for the rest of their lives.

"I've already forgiven you Basil and I'm sorry too, for so many things. But we can't change the past. I think the best thing we can do is forgive ourselves and move forward…. At least I feel like that's what Mari would say."

Mari, Sunny felt how her name rolled off his tongue so easily. He would never say her name before like it was a word that would burn his insides, just she, her, my sister. Now it came from his mouth as it should. He already made the decision to cherish everything that was left of Mari.

"Yeah, that sounds like something Mari would say. Then let’s both try to live happier lives. I don’t really know how to do that, but I have people that want to help me…. I hope you can find the people that want to help you too.” There was a loud creak and the shut of a door coming from Basil’s end. They could only hear one end of a short conversation before Basil spoke to them once again, “I should get going, but Kel can you hand the phone to Sunny I just need to tell him something.”

“Uh yeah, sure.” Kel was taken aback but obliged, taking his phone off speaker mode for the first time since the start of their call and handing it over to Sunny.

“Hello?” Sunny questions.

“Sunny, I have a favor to ask.”

“What?”

“I don’t think I can do it right now, but can I tell Polly about everything? …I’d like it if she knew.” Sunny’s eyes widened as he connected the dots. Polly is one of the people that want to help Basil.

“It’s just as much your secret, as it is mine. Besides, I already told everyone the secret without asking you, it doesn’t matter to me.”

“Ah, thank you. Um, also, Kel was telling me how you don’t have a phone and he was really sad about that. If you can help it, keep Kel by your side, he really cares about you." A light flush spreads across Sunny's face without his notice as he rubs at the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I've been realizing that." Sunny steals a glance at Kel seeing he has his head turned looking at nothing in particular. Kel could feel Sunny's stare so he looked back causing Sunny to avert his gaze, his face becoming noticeably warm. Kel felt even more awkward just standing there, like suddenly he had become a third wheel.

"Well, I really should go now, I want to spend some time with Polly. Bye, Sunny."

"Bye Basil." Sunny hands the phone back to Kel and exchanges goodbyes with Basil as well before hanging up, and putting away his phone. Sunny is the first to speak, "Kel, thank you for coming for me."

"Of course, I have to give you a proper goodbye!"

"No, well yes this too, but I mean for knocking on my door. If it wasn't for you…"

"Don't mention it. I tried at first but at some point, I gave up trying to be there for you. Just think of it as me making good on my promise to Mari." Kel smiled at the memory that only he, Sunny, and Mari shared. The corner of Sunny's mouth quirked into a grin as he laughed through his nose, recalling the memory as well.

"Do you think you can keep your promise after this?" Sunny held out his pinky, "It's going to be hard making new friends and-" Kel snatched up the pinky wrapping it with his own.

"I already decided I wasn't going to desert my friends. Whenever you need me just call and I'll be there for you." Sunny let go of Kel's pinky but kept his hand raised, hesitation clear in his eye. He realized he would miss Kel a lot more than he originally thought and hesitation became longing. Doing the unexpected, Sunny's hand finally reaches out and he goes in for a hug, cherishing his friend.

"Aww Sunny, you don't have to be shy about wanting a hug!" Kel wrapped Sunny up in a big bear hug. Joy and regret mingled if only he had knocked on the door earlier. If he could spend just a little more time with Sunny. He wished that Sunny didn't have to go, and he hugged him tighter like it could stop him from leaving. "You have to come visit, Sunny." Kel choked on his words, there was more, so much more he wanted to say but they were all stuck in his throat.

"Mmn, I'll come knocking this time." Kel chuckled, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Kel pulls away first wanting to wipe away the build-up of tears.

"You better, or I'll come find you." Sunny shook his head at Kel's silly reply. As if on cue Sunny's mom came out of the house carrying an open box of stuff. The boys saw how she fumbled with the key while still holding the box. Kel ran up to her, taking the box from her arms. "Don't worry, I got it."

"Oh, thank you." Kel carries the box to the car while she locks the door for the last time. Taking a few steps back, she looked at everything she was leaving behind. There were so many memories that came with this house, the good and the bad, it would stick with her for the rest of her life. Her eyes landed on the roof where she spotted, Mari? Like a ghostly apparition, Mari was smiling as she waved goodbye to her mother.

She stared and stared until she couldn't see through her tear-filled eyes anymore. She shut them, wiping at her face, but when she looked back Mari was gone. Sunny's mother waved back at where Mari was, saying goodbye to her daughter. She walks back to the car where Kel has shut the trunk.

"Alright, now we are all packed up again. It's time to go Sunny."

"Wait, can I get your phone number so I can stay in contact with Sunny?" She smiles, thankful her son really has a good friend.

"Of course." After exchanging numbers she says goodbye to Kel before stepping inside the car and starting the ignition. Sunny and Kel looked at each other.

"I'll see you later." Kel holds out his fist waiting for Sunny.

"Later." Sunny lightly bumps his own against Kel's. Just like that Sunny gets inside the car. Kel watches as they drive away waiting till they are out of view and he sighs. I need to check on Aubrey.

Kel felt doubt in his own abilities, could he help Aubrey? Did she even want him to? Would he just make things worse? These were the same fears that kept him from going to her when they were younger, he wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

Chapter Text

[Flashback]

The little boy sat by himself in a lonely area of the park trying to stifle his cries. He ignored the way his elbows ached, they were definitely bruised. Maybe he was getting on his mom's nerves this entire week but it wouldn't excuse the fact that she had blown up on him over a tiny mistake. He wondered why he was treated so differently compared to his older brother. He wasn't perfect, he made mistakes too, so why? He felt like he knew the answer deep down in his heart, but if he ever admitted it then it would fracture his family relations and he wasn't sure recovering from that was possible.

The boy was so lost in his own sorrow that he didn't notice the person that came up behind him till they tapped his shoulder.

"Kel, what happened? Why are you crying?" The voice he recognized was filled with concern. Kel whipped his head around.

"Mari," he rubs his eyes roughly. "I wasn't crying, I'm fine!" It was an obvious lie, not only had she seen and heard it, but his nose was runny and his eyes were red and swollen. Mari set the plastic bag she was carrying on the ground before plopping down next to Kel. She decided to play it off casually, okay, maybe they weren’t as close as she and Hero, but it made sense they had only met each other once about a week ago. A moment of silence passed and Kel's sniffling was heard loud and clear, he felt awkward, the girl that his brother obviously liked saw him crying; would she tell on him? Mari breaks the silence after thinking about what to say.

“You know," Kel turned his head towards her and he caught her eyes staring back at him. He felt paralyzed by her gentle voice and kind smile, he couldn't look away. "No one will give you a prize for not crying. You don't have to pretend to be okay, so just cry when you need to, there is no need to feel ashamed. When you cry your heart will feel lighter. I won’t tell anyone what I saw," Mari raised her index finger to her lips.

Kel thought he was done with crying, till he felt them spill from his eyes once more. He wasn't sure if he was crying from what she said or the way she looked at him, all he knew was that he felt safe with her. His silent tears turned to sobs and his head dropped, his tiny hands pulled at the grass underneath him. Mari suddenly felt an oncoming wave of tears, she was the type of person who would cry when she saw someone else crying. Mari reached out to pet Kel's head while wiping at her own tears.

"There there, you're okay now. Just let it all out." Kel was so engrossed in crying he didn't realize when he got so close to Mari till he claimed down, was it his own subconscious doing or did she pull him to her? Kel's head now lay in her lap as she continued to brush her hand over his head. He felt better and reveled in Mari's comfort, not opening his eyes till he felt her wipe away his tears with her thumb in the same way his mother tended to Hero when he got hurt. The way he wished to be loved when he was hurt too, but all he ever got was yelled at. Maybe his mother was right, it was his fault, he always finds a way to ruin things.

When Kel opened his eyes he saw Mari who was already looking down at him except, her face was wet from her tears. Kel's moment of peace was turned to guilt, for sure he thought he had done something to make her upset, of course, he ruins everything.

"Why are you crying?" Kel asks the question but is afraid of the answer he might receive. His fears melt away when Mari smiles.

"Oh, that's just me, don't worry. When I see someone else cry I can't help but cry too," she says while drying her face. "See? All better." Kel brings his hands up to his chest fidgeting with his finger.

"Really?"

"Mhmm," Mari held onto one of Kel's hands giving it a light squeeze and she thought about how adorable he is. His hand was even smaller than Sunny's. Kel squeezed back, accepting her answer. "...do you want to talk about what happened? It's okay if you don't, we can just lay here." Kel is silent for a long moment and Mari thinks he doesn't want to talk about it till Kel speaks in a quiet voice.

"I messed up…, again."

[Flashback]

Hero and Kel's mother was busy in the kitchen, preparing for her husband's birthday while he was away at work. She just needed to get started on baking a cake. What better helper would there be than her son Hero, he always showed an interest in making food. Hero stood on standby ready to help when his mother asked. Kel stood next to Hero, he wanted to be just like his big brother, to Kel there was no one cooler than him. If he can do what Hero does then he'll be just as cool.

"Hero, can you get the eggs please?" Their mother asked while taking out bowls and measuring spoons. At the same time, they thought this was their chance. Kel was the first to act stepping towards the refrigerator.

"I can get it!" Hero was thrown off, then a little frustrated, Mom told him to get it.

"No, I'm supposed to get the eggs!" Hero tried to maneuver his way past Kel, but his brother blocked him with his body like he was a point guard. Kel thought it was fun like this too, but Hero was not having fun.

"Boys stop messing around," their mother called out, not tuning from the cupboard. The boys did not listen, Kel kept the carton of eggs out of reach. Hero felt embarrassed, Kel was always good at these kinds of things, he just wanted to help bake, why was Kel trying to take this from him? Fed up, Hero didn't think much and pushed Kel. Hard enough to cause Kel to shout, enough to make him realize he could hurt him, enough to make him instantly regret it. Hero reach out for Kel but could only pull his shirt. It was too late and Hero was not strong enough to keep kel up, so instead Hero was pulled down along with Kel.

Kel knew he was falling before he could even make a quick choice of protecting himself or the eggs his elbow made contact with the floor and he screamed in pain. The egg carton flew from his hands across the kitchen floor making a mess. Hero was able to partially catch himself with a hand, but his knees skid across the wooden floor, peeling his skin. Tears filled both their eyes as they tried to be strong and hold in the pain.

Their mother turned around at the loud noise, shocked to see the eggs splattered on the ground and her sons on the floor. She heads straight for Hero lifting his small body from the floor.

"Henry, are you okay?!" She cups his face checking over his face and body quickly and before Hero can even answer, she interrupts. "Ay mi, your knees are bleeding." Kel sits himself up from the ground looking towards Hero, he felt bad for getting Hero hurt.

"I'm fine, mama." Hero tries to pull away from her grasp, he is worried about Kel. Hero manages to look at Kel and he can see he's tearing up. He hurt his baby brother. Their mother finally remembers Kel and her eyes turn sharp.

"Look at this mess, why couldn't you let your brother get the eggs?! Were you trying to ruin everything?!" Hero stilled. Their mother was scary when she was genuinely angry. Hero felt like it was his fault; if only he didn't push Kel.

"I ju-" Kel tried to explain himself but was cut off.

"¡Cállate!" Kel shut his mouth as she said, fearful. "Just go, I don't want to see you right now!" Kel bit the inside of his cheek trying to hold back the tears pooling in his eyes. He trembled; he was scared, sad, and resentful. Kel scrambled up from the floor, running away, the last thing Hero and their mother heard was the slamming of the front door.

[End Flashback]

Mari was silent, she only needed to go over to Hero and Kel's house once to see just how differently their mother treated her boys. Mari was surprised Kel didn't seem angry at his brother, judging from how he told the story. She could easily see how one would be mad at their sibling for pushing them, yet kel seemed to hold no bitterness for Hero. It was a testament to how strong their bond was, it made Mari think, …Could I push Sunny like that, would he forgive me? The thought made her sad and she thought about the situation reversed. If Sunny pushed me… he wouldn't do something like that…, but if he did I would forgive him because I love him.

Mari's lips turned ever so slightly up at her thoughts, she loved her brother no matter what and she thought Kel is the same. He would love his brother no matter what and he probably knew he never wanted to hurt him like that. She thought about what she knew about Hero and she could imagine him crying something terrible now. She had only met Kel recently, but maybe the reason she felt so comfortable around him was that Hero talked about him all the time like Kel was his favorite person in the whole world. Mari brushed Kel's bangs from his face the same way she would for Sunny, She finally thought of words to say.

"Even after all that, you must really love your big brother," more of a statement rather than a question, but Kel still nodded. Mari wanted to focus on the good and maybe the pain would be lessened. "He loves you a lot too. I'm sure he is crying like a baby right now, missing you," her smile grows mischievous. "I'll make sure to tease him about it at school, he'll never think about doing something like that again!" Kel laughed heartily and Mari laughed with him, "There's a nice smile," she couldn't help herself she had to pinch his full cheeks, they were just as squishy if not squishier than Sunny's.

Kel felt bashful, but he didn't pull away from her touch, instead being drawn to the feeling it gave. It was reminiscent of when Hero would give him noogies, loving but playfully aggressive. For a moment Kel felt at peace again, forgetting all the bad things that happened to him. The feeling was cut short when he moved his arms and his elbows ached more than before and he grunted in pain, stalling his movement hoping it would go away. "It hurts…"

"What hurts?" Mari sat up straighter wondering if she did something. Kel shows off his elbows, not sure if his wound was even visible but showing he felt like it emphasized his point regardless. Mari sees inflamed reds and frighteningly deep purples splayed across his elbows, tiny smears of dried blood crusted on his skin. Mari's face crumpled seeing the physical manifestation of Kel's pain, it was obvious and ugly, but it was ignored; he was ignored. Her heart broke and she wanted to cry for him again, but Kel needed happy thoughts right now, so she would hold back her emotions, even if it contradicted what she told Kel earlier.

"Does it look bad?" Kel saw the change in Mari's face but he didn't understand what that possibly meant, so he says the only thing that comes to mind. Mari's eyes flash to Kel and back to his elbows.

"It's a little bad, but nothing we can't fix." She tries to give Kel a reassuring smile, to ease the worry that crept onto his face. Kel's face relaxed, "Let's go patch you up!" Mari lightly pushed Kel's head up and he sat himself up turning to look at Mari.

"Where?" Mari stood up brushing anything that might be on the back of her pants.

"To the store! We need to get bandages, Neosporin, and maybe a few other things." Mari grabbed her plastic bag from the floor and offered her other hand to Kel. He took her hand without hesitation and she pulled him up from the floor. Kel thought she would let go of his hand but instead, she lightly tugged him forward, leading him out of the park. Kel was choked up, all he wanted was for someone to help him off the floor and hold him. Here Mari was almost a stranger to him, but she showed him kindness, kindness that asked for nothing in return.

"Mari?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I hug you?" Kel's voice shook. Mari stopped waking and looked at Kel, tears were streaking down his face again. Mari wished she wasn't so emotional as she felt her eyes well up again.

"Of course." She hugged Kel tightly before he could reach out for her. It was warm and welcoming, the way she held him tenderly, her cheek resting atop his head, he wondered how she was so good at giving hugs. They stayed like this for some time before Kel tugged on Mari's shirt.

"I'm okay now." Mari pulled away, drying her tears while nodding at his words. She took his hand into hers again and they continued their walk to OTHERMART. They walked in content silence all the way to their destination. Mari led him through the store to the aisle that had bandages and medications.

"Choose whatever you like." Kel stepped forward looking at the assortment of bandages, he saw the plain brown bandages, the only kind his mother bought. Then his eyes landed on the colorful character-based bandages, he thought about grabbing one but opted to go for the plain ones. Mari was counting the money she had left from what her mom gave her to purchase the goods she bought previously. She had $12.25 left, thoughtfully, her mother said she could use the rest of the money on whatever she wanted, she only bought a small snack for herself.

"These ones are good, right?" Kel showed them to Mari seeing if they got her approval. She put away the loose bills and change while looking at Kel's choice of bandages.

"...Are you sure? You don't want one of these?" She gestured to all the colorful bandages.

"We don't buy those." His mother didn't even buy the cool bandages for Hero, this is just what he was used to. Still, his eyes lingered on them, Mari noticed and smiled. Their parents didn't like to buy the character bandages since they were more expensive, but luckily when she and Sunny were out with their dad they pleaded with big innocent cat-like eyes. How could he ever say no to that; against his better judgment he let Mari get Hello Kitty bandages and Sunny got the Spider-Man ones.

"Well, do you want them?" Realistically these ones wouldn't do anything different, but she knew she felt better when wearing special bandages so what did it matter if she spent a little more money on them, if it made Kel feel better? Kel wasn't the type of kid that needed to be offered something twice, he put the plain bandages back in favor of the SpongeBob bandages. Mari gives him a thumbs up, "Good choice." She quickly grabs the Neosporin nearby and drags Kel elsewhere.

They stopped to grab a carton of eggs before heading to checkout. Maybe this would make his mom go easy on him when he came back, a sort of peace offering. Thankfully she had just enough to cover everything. The cashier recognized the little girl, they didn't expect her to come back much less with a friend in tow, what a weird combination of things to buy. Mari puts everything on the conveyor belt along with her money and flashes the cashier a big smile, they smile back.

After scanning the items the cashier recounts the money he had given the girl earlier.

"It's not enough…" Mari's eyes go wide in confusion.

"I thought it would be $12.10," she stood on her tippy toes trying to get a better look at the screen with the pricing information.

"Yes, but that's before tax." Mari's face heated with embarrassment, of course, how could she forget about taxes? What a stupid mistake. She instinctively grabbed onto a lock of her hair lightly pulling on it. She patted her pockets. Maybe there was some extra change in her pockets, nothing. She looked to Kel and he did the same, nothing. Mari tried to think of a solution, Maybe I should put the eggs back… no. She didn't notice that she pulled a little harder on her hair till she could find an answer.

"What about this?" Mari reached into the plastic bag she had been carrying the whole time and pulled out a snack pack of Oreo's "Can I return this? You remember I bought it earlier right?" She takes out the receipt as well to prove she wasn't lying. Kel tugged at Mari's shirt, gaining her attention.

"Let's put the bandages back, the normal ones are fine." She shakes her head, stubborn, she already decided she was getting those ones for Kel. The Cashier found themselves regretting even saying anything. What was owed didn't even amount to 50 cents, a negligible amount, so what does it matter if he lets them go?

"Actually, it's not that big a deal. Just a few cents, don't worry about it.” Before Mari could come up with a reaction Kel was the first to respond.

“Really?!” The excitement was ringing in his voice and he grabbed Mari’s hand.

“Yeah, go on ahead. I’ll take care of it.” The man hands the new bag to Mari and she takes it silently. Kel gleefully thanks the cashier while pulling Mari away. She turns around saying sorry, but the man waves his hands telling her not to worry. As they walk out of the store, gradually a frown was taking over her face. Kel wonders when the mood change happened, he wasn’t sure what could have made her upset.

“Mari, are you okay?” She snaps out of her thoughts, frown shifting to a neutral expression.

“I’m fine… I just- I shouldn’t have made that mistake.”

“But the man said it was fine.”

“Still. Do you know why I bought the eggs Kel?” he doesn’t respond but looks up at her. “When you make a mistake you should apologize. I don’t think you should have been treated like that, but you also shouldn’t have done what you did. Running away won’t solve your problems, you have to fix them yourself.” Kel tensed, she could feel it in the way he held her hand and she realized she was taking her frustrations out on him. “Sorry, I'm not trying to scare you… it’s okay if it takes time, if the apology is from the heart the others will feel that.”

The silence was heavy, would Kel even take her words seriously? Mari wouldn’t know for a long time how much of an effect her words would have on Kel. She led him to the fountain where they would sit on the edge. Mari sat behind Kel getting the bandages and Neosporin out, as she was preparing Kel broke the silence.

“What if Mama still doesn’t like my apology? If Mama hates me forever…” Hate he thinks his mother hates him, surely he was wrong. She gently applies the bandages with medicine to his elbow as she speaks.

“Your mom doesn’t hate you, she's just upset. It’ll be okay, Kel. It’s going to get better, I promise.” It should have never been Mari’s promise, the guarantee of a Mother’s love was not her’s to make, but Kel accepted those words as his truth. It’ll be okay. It’s going to get better. These words would give him strength when he felt alone. After that Kel couldn’t clearly remember the walk home, or how his mother reacted to him and his apology. The last clear memory of that event was how Hero had tearfully hugged him despite Mari being there, and the way Mari smiled at him like she was saying everything that happened today would just be between them, as he and Hero waved bye to her.

-

On the walk to Aubrey’s the midday sun shifted in the sky as evening drew nearer. Kel told himself that he wouldn’t ruin it, he wouldn’t ruin everything. He wouldn’t leave Aubrey by herself again. As Kel steeled himself he noticed a disgruntled-looking Kim pacing around the front of Aubrey’s house. Although he couldn’t say he was very close to Kim even after her apologizing to him and Basil, she was still Aubrey's closest friend, so he was concerned.

“Kim, what’s wrong?” She stops in her tracks and throws a venomous look at Kel, it was sour but she also seemed to be on the verge of tears. Kel throws his hand up in defense wondering why she was angry at him.

“I wish I knew, but Aubrey won’t talk to me! I know something happened at the hospital, but she said it was none of my business.” Kim gripped tightly to her sleeve frustrated. “She’s been hanging around you guys more and more,” she scoffs, “I’m sure she'll let you in.” Jealously laced her words as she decided to finally walk away. Kel reach out grabbing Kim’s wrist.

“It’s complicated, Kim. I’m sorry but I can’t tell you anything either… but, you are her best friend.” Kel wasn’t sure if anything he said would bring her comfort, but the look she gave him for a brief moment seemed to settle something in her. Kim snatched her arm away, giving Kel a curt answer.

“Just-! Make sure she’s okay….” Kim turns away once more, quickly walking away. Kel wondered if he could get through to Aubrey, she even turned away Kim. he’d be damned if he didn’t try though, so Kel opens the door.

Chapter Text

It was the same as last time, not that he thought the state of her house would suddenly change. Still, seeing the squalor Aubrey lived in, was unsettling, to say the least. Kel stepped around the trash scattered across the floor, turning his head to the empty couch. He figured her mother was gone to who knows where; fine by him, he didn't want anyone to possibly interrupt this very important conversation he was about to have. Kel wasn't sure why he was tiptoeing around like a thief, but the house was so silent the only noise he could hear was the creaking floorboards every time he took a step.

Slowly Kel crept his way up the stairs, then up the ladder leading to Aubrey's attic room. His head finally peaked above the opening, quickly scanning the room, also the same as before, a stark contrast to the rest of her house. He noticed Aubrey was in bed, sleeping, her back turned to him.
Then the thought suddenly hit him, how dangerous this place was. Two women living alone in a house that has no locks. Sure he was being quiet, but Aubrey still wasn't stirring as he stepped closer and closer. For a moment he hesitated wondering if he should just go back, not wanting to disturb her sleep.

Kel forgot that Aubrey herself is also dangerous, so he was caught completely off guard when she worlds around the moment he placed a hand on her arm. Aubrey tackled Kel to the floor, a vicious snarl coming out of her mouth. Kel did not even want to think of what she might have done if she didn't recognize the boy she pinned to the ground. For a moment they were still in place, no words exchanged, till Aubrey's face heated with realization. Her friends had already seen the inside of her house, but that didn't change the fact that she was ashamed of the place she was supposed to call home.

Aubrey scrambled off of Kel, muttering a curse under her breath before dropping the lightly rusted nail she had clutched in her fist. Kel sat up eye flicking to said nail and back to Aubrey, She looked frazzled, and they both were.

"Jesus, Aubrey…" A grave distance in her eyes, Aubrey cast her gaze to the floor, flattening her hair with her hands, trying to calm herself down.

"Sorry, I thought- I thought you were my mother." The last word rang out icy and with a deep horror, the way she said the word, mother. Kel was struck with memories of things he didn't understand at the time. Those times as children she would cry to her friends about her mother, always vague, but she never had anything good to say about her. Those times she didn't want to come out to play and the time after when she did, healing bruises on her skin.

Kel wondered if he was the only one oblivious this whole time, not that it would change anything now. What Aubrey needed was someone to be there for her, even when she pretended to be fine. When she pushes others away, all the while wanting to be held. This, Kel could do, and he would do it for her even if she got mad at him, even if she yelled and spat curses at him because it was what she needed.

She was just as hard-headed as Kel, maybe that's why they always got into so many arguments as kids. Kel was over arguing, over all the misunderstandings. Kel realized he never truly understood his friends, none of them did, is that why they all ended up this way? We really were just dumb dumb kids. But that's okay, they could all work on understanding these new versions of themselves. That's what he, Hero, and Aubrey promised to each other the morning Basil and Sunny had gone into their respective surgeries.

Kel shifts to his knees, shuffling closer to Aubrey who now looks at him, vulnerable.

"Kel" Before she could fully get out his name, Kel embraced Aubrey, in the same way he would hold his baby sister. Gently and firm, loving and protective, an all-encompassing hug. He tried to channel all the times Hero or Mari would comfort him; they were always the best at it and he wanted to be that for Aubrey. An arm around her waist and another threaded through her, holding the back of her head.

Aubrey was frozen at his touch, she still wasn't used to being completely vulnerable in front of her old friends. Being vulnerable means opening yourself up to being hurt and Aubrey didn't think she could take much more. A part of her mind told her to push him away and protect herself, and the other part said, This here is safety.

"It's okay, Aubrey. It's okay, it's okay." She wondered what Kel meant, nothing in her life was okay, especially not now. Yet, she felt the tears well in her eyes. "I'm here for you now, I'm sorry it took so long." Then Aubrey figured it out, it was okay to be vulnerable, it was okay to cry with him, it was okay to not be okay. With that realization, Aubrey let the tears fall, a strangled sob escaping her mouth, her apprehension unraveling. Unsteady hands slowly made their way around Kel's back reciprocating the hug.

Yes, being vulnerable could get you hurt, but it was priceless moments like these that you would never get if you weren't vulnerable. So she accepted the possibility, that maybe Kel would hurt her, but she knew it would never be on purpose, that's just not who Kel is. He is different now, she saw that during the time Sunny and Basil were admitted to the hospital. He was a little more mature and had a melancholic air to him despite his smiles, but the purely Kel things about him never changed. He was still so stubborn, goofy, and most of all caring for his friends.

Aubrey could only bury her face into Kel's neck as she fell apart. The way he leaned his head on top of hers, the way he squeezed her closer, and the way his thumb rubbed against her scalp it was all a great comfort. In all the overwhelming and confusing emotions, Aubrey thought Kel could understand what she felt if only a little. If Kel being here now said anything, it would be that he would at least try to understand. Hero was there to help clear up years of resentment, and sure there would be many more times Aubrey and Kel would butt heads, but they would try to accommodate each other now.

Kel shifted their positions so they sat and Aubrey had purchase in Kel's lap. There were many things to talk about, but Kel was used to waiting by now. So he let Aubrey cry till she had nothing left. He even stayed silent when she stopped, he knew she tended to lash out when she was upset and put under pressure. This was nice, to hold and to be held, Aubrey found herself wishing they could have been like this before, a little more affectionate with each other, but that was both of their faults. Aubrey smiled, a thought coming to her mind, a small laugh escaping her nose.

“Aren’t you afraid of my cooties?” Kel could hear in the way she spoke, she was smiling. Kel burst into laughter, remembering the silly things he said as a kid. He gave her a tight squeeze, roughly nuzzling the side of his head against hers. Aubrey laughs at the gesture trying to pull her head away. Kel settles again, resting his chin back over Aubrey’s shoulder.

“No, I’m not.” Aubrey expected Kel to speak in the same playful lilt as her, but his voice came out a little deeper sounding than normal and it sounded like regret was laced in his words. She felt a lump form in her throat, now seemed to be the time for her to reach out to him. Aubrey brought her arms from around Kel’s waist up and over his shoulders. She wanted to give back that feeling of comfort and security, she hoped he could feel her sincerity as her hand cupped the back of his neck. Her fingers pressed into his skin as if to show how serious she is and Kel melted into her touch. He felt some of his anxiety from today dissolve, this hug was everything he needed right now. After comforting others, crying with them, and saying his goodbyes, Kel was thoroughly worn out and he hasn’t even checked in on Hero yet.

“Thank you…” Her voice came out small but it held a firmness to them much like her grip. Kel let out a shaky sigh.

“I’m scared, Aubrey.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t want to lose everyone again…, but I get it, if you hate them, if you never want to see them after this.”

“I-” Aubrey wasn’t sure how to explain the broiling feelings in her.

“I get it if you hate me because I choose to forgive them." Yet the way his grip tightened on her jacket was like he was begging her not to leave.

"I don't hate you." And it was true she didn't hate him. If she hated that he forgave them, then how could she ever accept the forgiveness he offered to her? "I can't really say I hate them either, but I don't know if I have it in myself to forgive them, not right now at least." Her voice trailed off, as her mind went back into her earlier cycle of thinking.

How could they do this, why didn't they tell us? Of course, they wouldn't say anything I wouldn't have either, but we were best friends, she was your sister! It makes sense they were scared, we all were scared. Still, they need to atone for their crimes! But haven't they punished themselves enough already, look at the state they're in! I've already hurt Basil too much. I promised I wouldn't be like this anymore, but today I wanted to hurt Sunny too. They deserve it because I can't understand how they could do that to Mari, how they could do that to us! But we promised to be there for each other….

These thoughts kept turning in her head till she hated herself for thinking this way. She said she would change, but the more she thinks about it, the more hatred and sadness roots itself into her heart. Kel pulls Aubrey from her sinkhole of thoughts with his words.

"That's okay Aubrey. I- sometimes I get scared, that if I think too much I will end up feeling the same. Then I have to remind myself that they both have gone through their own problems, I can't say what Sunny was feeling…, but I talked to Basil and…." Kel trailed off thinking it best not to talk about Basil's issues without asking first. "If you think you can try and talk to him, you might end up seeing things a little differently. No pressure, just a thought. No matter what you decide, I will be here for you, like I promised."

Aubrey sighs, pulling away and she lets her hands rest on his shoulders, "I should go, I need to rethink some things." She is silent momentarily and then pushes against Kel helping herself stand. She turns, offering her hand to Kel and he takes it without pause, standing with her help.

"Are you going to see Kim?"

"Oh… no." Aubrey wasn’t planning to elaborate more on that specific subject but then Kel surprises her.

"She's worried about you. I think you should try talking to her."

"Yeah, but it's not like I can tell her, 'Hey, Kim, my childhood friend killed my other childhood friend, and Basil, the guy we were bullying, helped cover it up!" Aubrey says with forced ardor. Kel winces at her bluntness. "Sorry, I…"

"No, I get it. You're right, this isn't really something to share, even with your best friend. But just tell her it's personal, since it's you I'm sure she'll understand."

"Maybe…" Aubrey hums in contemplation, then moves. "Let's get out of here." Aubrey goes to her rabbit's pen and gives it a scratch behind its ear. "I'll be back, Bun-bun." Standing she climbs down her ladder out of the room and Kel follows. Aubrey looks around and remembers once more that Kel is I'm her house. Shame washed over her again, she never even wanted Kim in her house, this was embarrassing beyond compare. Aubrey wraps her arms around herself as she waits for Kel, looking like a stranger in her own home.

When Kel finally made his way down Aubrey looked downcast again. He couldn't pinpoint why, but he threw an arm around Aubrey's shoulder, pulling her along. "No time to waste." Kel offers a smile that Aubrey doesn't see, but she walks in step with Kel. When they are finally out of the house Aubrey seems to regain herself and Kel gingerly lets go of her.

"I'll see you later, Kel."

"Wait, where exactly are you going?" Kel knew Aubrey could take care of herself but he couldn’t help the unease he felt as the sun set around them.

"...to the Church." There is a pause of silence, the church where he and Sunny unintentionally embarrassed her in front of the whole congregation. She never mentioned the church and Kel thought she would never go back after that. "The priest there…, he's been trying to help me for a long time now, but I always pushed him away. I wanted to try and reach out to him first, I think he can help me sort out myself."

"That's amazing Aubrey!" Kel felt some relief that a place Aubrey felt was a safe space wasn't completely ruined. "I- I hope you find the answers you're searching for." Aubrey saw the sincerity in his eyes and a small smile came pulling her lips up.

"Thank you." Aubrey felt like those words couldn't express the depth of her gratitude. Kel smiles with her. Without much thought she steps closer and pulls Kel's head down, lightly banging his forehead against hers. "You're gonna be okay, We'll be okay." He soaks the words in for what they are, a confirmation that Aubrey was there for him through thick and thin. She recognized his pain too even if she didn't outwardly state it.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and Kel felt invigorated with new life. He thought he could face Hero with a clearer heart now.