Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hey Hyung, check this out!” Matthew smiled as Hanbin approached the aisle he’s in. The week before the new semester of university started, the two were doing some last minute shopping for supplies. While Hanbin was checking the prices for different brands of pens, Matthew had gotten distracted and migrated to the clothes section of the department store.

Matthew held up the t-shirt, depicting a crying banana on it, wailing “I’m not peeling well!” Hanbin wasn’t fluent in English like Matthew was, so the joke took a moment to register but when it did, the former let out a huff of amusement before shaking head.

“It’s so stupid.”

He saw Matthew deflate slightly, but grinned as he continued.

“Let’s buy two.”

Almost instantly, Matthew perked up again and showed the infamous megawatt smile that was contagious to all those around him. Hanbin laughed, and Matthew snatched two shirts up from the rack and raced towards the paying counter. Deciding that he had all the supplies he needed at the moment, he followed Matthew to the counter.

The girl at the counter began scanning their items, and Hanbin noticed how she kept glancing up at Matthew shyly. Hanbin smirked, silently applauding Matthew. Of course, his best friend was not only physically attractive, but also had a personality that everyone gravitated to. Matthew, of all people, deserved to reap the benefits of such good character. And Hanbin silently wished Matthew would look up at the girl and notice how pretty she was as she fluttered her eyelashes at him.

When the cashier was done scanning their items and it was time to pay, both Matthew and Hanbin pulled out their wallets. Matthew, watching Hanbin pull out some bills, shook his head, taking out cash of his own.

“Don’t worry Seokmae, I’ll pay.”

“But Hyung! You paid the last time we came here! I’ll do it.”

“C’mon, Matthew. I got it.”

“Hyung–!”

Matthew pouted when Hanbin handed the money to the cashier.

“You always pay.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll let you pay next time, stop pouting, you look like a squirrel.”

Matthew gasped mockingly, pretending to be affronted as he squinted his eyes at Hanbin.

The cashier coughed to get their attention. She held the bag full of items out to Hanbin, and for some reason looked slightly disappointed. The reason why, he figured it had to do with her next sentence.

“Here you go. You and your boyfriend are super cute together, by the way.”

Ah.

Matthew’s face reddened to the likeness of a tomato within a matter of seconds, and he coughed before looking away when he met Hanbin’s eyes.

Matthew started, “Uh… We’re– we’re actually–”

Hanbin’s attention turned back to the cashier, smile almost imperceptibly strained as he chuckled haltingly.

“Oh, we’re not dating. We’re best friends, actually!” Hanbin chirped, and he simultaneously saw Matthew’s shoulders sag in the corner of his vision while the cashier became flustered at the blunder.

In response to her rapidfire apologies, Hanbin merely smiled and shook his head, saying it wasn’t her fault. He bid her goodbye and gestured for Matthew to follow him out. Matthew conceded, no longer as bubbly as he was previously despite a smile still plastered on his face.

“Hanbin hyung, let’s get Chinese takeout for lunch today.” Matthew told him, changing the subject and pretending like the incident in the store hadn’t happened. He still had that smile on his face, where his eyes didn’t scrunch up or convey the same joy his smile tried to paint. Hanbin internally sighed. He knew when Matthew was upset, he knew when Matthew was putting on a facade, and he knew when Matthew looked at him longingly when he thought Hanbin wasn’t looking.

It was a difficult situation. Hanbin assumed Matthew had feelings that one doesn’t usually have for their best friend, but the younger had never said anything about it and seemed adamant about hiding it. Therefore, Hanbin didn’t want to be the one to make their friendship awkward by confronting Matthew. If Matthew didn’t say anything about it, it must be a small crush he’d get over soon enough.

It made Hanbin feel bad to see Matthew hiding his dejection (presumably at being friend-zoned back in the store), but he didn’t want to make things worse. He loved Matthew, but he only saw the younger as his best friend, and was sure he’d never be able to reciprocate Matthew’s feelings. One day, he’d have to settle things clearly with Matthew, but the ugly feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought, told him that’d be a talk for another, later time.

The first day of the new semester found Matthew awake and ready, an hour before classes began. It was his second year and Hanbin’s third year at Planet University, and Matthew was excited to see Hanbin again despite meeting up with him a week prior. He hearn a smattering of footsteps from his left, the smell of his breakfast enough to rouse his roommate and friend Haruto as the latter walked into the kitchen, eyes still half closed. 

Matthew laughed at how Haruto’s face was still swollen with sleep and how he practically zombie-walked over to Matthew’s plate of reheated mushroom pancakes, leading to his destination with the aroma alone. Haruto didn’t say a word to him and instead shoved a pancake into his mouth. Matthew pushed his coffee away when his roommate’s arm extended to make a grab for that too.

“Y’know, class starts in an hour. Kamden can sleep a while longer since his first class is the third class but you should probably wake Jay up soon too.”

Haruto merely grunted, and continued chewing noisily as he left in the direction of Jay’s room. A moment later, a choking noise followed by a “Gross!” from Haruto sounded from the room.

“ Really, guys ? It’s six in the morning.” Haruto groaned.

“We weren’t even doing anything! We just fell asleep cuddling!”

“I don’t want to hear about it! Get ready for class, Jay, and Kamden, please for the love of god put on a shirt !”

Haruto’s screeching pulled a cackle out of Matthew as the former walked out of the room looking green.

Luckily, their dorm was near the university campus so after the three were dressed and finished with breakfast, they managed to arrive 20 minutes before classes started. Haruto and Matthew said goodbye to Jay as the latter had a different class than the two of them, and the duo walked in tandem to their Philosophy class.

“Where’s your boyfriend, anyway? Usually he comes earlier than any of us and meets you at the gate.” Haruto asked, and Matthew punched him lightly in the shoulder.

“Stop calling him that. And he said he’d be running late, since his bike broke and he has to take transit.”

“Oh. Well, he would be if you told him how you felt…”

Matthew frowned. They’d had this conversation many times over the course of their friendship in their first year of uni. Apparently Matthew hadn’t been as subtle as he thought he was, but as long as Hanbin didn’t know, he could trust his friends to keep this secret for him.

“Shut up. We both know he doesn’t like me like that. The only thing that’d happen if I told him would be the end of our friendship.”

Haruto rolled his eyes but dropped the subject, knowing the conversation wouldn’t lead anywhere other than Matthew succumbing to his insecurity.

“Whatever. Oh, speak of the devil, there he is. Who’s his friend?” Haruto’s eyes caught something over Matthew’s shoulder and the latter turned around in curiosity. Sure enough, Hanbin was walking in Matthew’s line of sight, and guffawing with a man Matthew didn’t know. The man was saying something and giggling along with Hanbin, whose arm went around his shoulder as he collapsed from laughter.

“I don’t know,” murmured Matthew, just as Hanbin’s eyes caught him and the elder led the stranger in Matthew’s direction.

“Matthew-ah! How was your morning?”

“Great, hyung! How was yours?”

“It was good too! I want you to meet Zhang Hao–” Hanbin gestured to the man beside him, and Matthew elbowed Haruto who let out a soft ‘damn .’ Matthew had to admit, the man, Zhang hao, was gorgeous. He smiled at him, and Matthew stared almost in wonder at how someone could smile so handsomely.

“He’s an exchange student that transferred here this semester. I met him on the bus ride here! I think you guys live in the same dorm building so maybe you’ve seen him around before. He’s also in year 3, he even has the same major as us!” Hanbin explained animatedly, and Matthew smiled brightly at Zhang Hao.

“Nice to meet you Zhang Hao! I’m Matthew, and this is my friend Haruto. Did you move here over the summer?”

Zhang Hao nodded, and proceeded to explain in nearly flawless korean about how he’s been studying korean since middle school yet only came to korea that year.

“I don’t have many korean friends, the only people I know here are my roommates who’re also chinese exchange students. It’s really nice to meet you guys, as well as Hanbin. We’ve only been talking for 30 mins and I already feel more confident today.”

Matthew watched as Hanbin basically preened at the compliment, and shoved down intruding thoughts about how perfect this Zhang Hao was and how much Hanbin seemed to like him. Matthew scolded himself for feeling bad over something so stupid, of course Hanbin was allowed to have other friends and become close with others, and Zhang Hao seemed really nice.

Haruto, ever the extrovert, seemed to especially like Zhang Hao, and he whisked the Chinese man away as he bombarded him with questions about what classes he took and which clubs he’d join.

The two walked forward, leaving Hanbin and Matthew to walk behind them.

“Hyung, I’m so jealous of you. I would never be able to meet a total stranger and become so close with them in half an hour. Your outgoingness is crazy.” Matthew said petulantly, as Hanbin laughed and patted his head.

“Aw come on, I’d say Seokmae is more extroverted than I'll ever hope to be. You must be rubbing off on me. But Zhang Hao is great, I can tell we have a lot in common already.”

Matthew nodded, and looked down at his phone. 

“Hyung! It’s almost time for class, I’ll see you at lunch!” Matthew hurried towards class, having to pry a reluctant Haruto away from Zhang Hao. As he dragged Haruto away, he waved at Zhang Hao and bid him well, staying long enough to see the other wave enthusiastically back at him.

“Wow,” Haruto gushed as they arrived at class and took their seats. “Where’d Hanbin hyung find a guy like that? Apparently he knows how to play the violin and is a singer, yet he chose dance as his major? Can this guy do everything?”

“Who are you talking about?” Questioned a voice from the seat behind them. It was Seungeon, their friend who was in the same theater club as Jay and Haruto.

“This guy that Hanbin-hyung is friends with– a Chinese exchange student named Zhang Hao. The guy is super talented.”

Seungeon perked up. “Really? Is he a good singer? The club needs to recruit new members since so many of the seniors enlisted this year. Do you think you can convince him to join the club? With Hoetaek hyung’s enlistment, Jay and I can’t hold down the main vocalist fort on our own.”

“Guys,” Matthew shushed them as the professor walked in, once again trying to tamp out the niggling feeling worming its way into his chest.

“Class is about to start.”

Chapter Text

Over the next few weeks, as Matthew learned more about Zhang Hao, he unfortunately learned more about himself in the process.

He wanted to hate Zhang Hao. He really did.

He hated the way Hanbin would smile at him like he lit up the whole sky, laughed with him with such gusto, and always complimented him. He hated the way that Zhang Hao would always join them for lunch, (one of the few times Matthew could see Hanbin during uni hours, as they didn’t have many overlapping classes). He hated how Zhang Hao would sit next to Hanbin and the latter would turn his whole body to speak to the exchange student, despite the fact that Matthew was sitting right there on his other side.

Matthew hated how it felt like he was third wheeling, having to watch the two grow closer as he sat a distance away, simply smiling and nodding. At first, Matthew had been genuinely excited with the prospect of a new friendship, but as the intrusions to their shared lunch increased and so did Hao’s gravitas, Matthew realized that his smiles were becoming more forced, his laughs turning robotic.

Matthew really, really wanted to hate Zhang Hao, for his almost random appearance to the school, for taking away Hanbin’s attention, for making Matthew feel so low. 

But how could he?

Zhang Hao, for lack of a better word, was perfect. He was handsome, attentive, kind, a model student, and to top it all off: great at making friends. His entrance into Matthew’s friend group was nearly seamless, and only weeks later was everyone hanging off of the exchange student like they’d known him for years.

Matthew had to admit, he was also among those affected by Hao’s charm. So affected, that Matthew started addressing him informally, almost unconsciously. It wasn’t fair of him to have ill will towards someone who was so nice to him, and despite his growing anxiety over Hanbin’s distance, Matthew found himself forming a genuine friendship with Hao.

That genuine friendship was there, but was more often than not overshadowed by the guilt and jealousy in Matthew’s heart. He tried not to let it show. Especially not when Hanbin looked so happy with Hao.

“Oh, hyung,” Matthew asked, turning to Hao, who paused the conversation he was having with his friend, Ricky.

“Have you guys joined any clubs yet?” 

Hao shook his head.

“Not yet. I’ve been perusing some but I’m not sure which ones would suit me.”

They’ll all suit you , Matthew said in his mind sardonically, but pushed the thought away and responded,

“If you want, the theater club is looking for new members. You have a great voice, they’d take you on the spot. If you’re not into that, you could also join the environmental club I’m a part of! We do lots of cool fundraisers and outdoor excursions!”

Hao nodded his head, as if considering the options.

“Theater isn’t really my thing but I considered joining the environmental club. Now that I know you’re a part of it, I’ll definitely check it out, Matthew-ah.”

Matthew brightened, and jumped up from his seat.

“Great! We have a meeting next week, I can bring you along to give you a general idea on how we operate. I’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you guys later!”

They said their goodbyes, and Matthew left as Hanbin returned from the restroom and took his seat next to Hao.

“Ah– Matthew, you’re leaving already? But your next class doesn’t start for half an hour?”

Matthew smiled as brightly as he could and ignored the way Hanbin’s arm naturally gravitated along Hao’s shoulders.

“I forgot I have something to take care of, I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

The semester was going better than expected for Hanbin. It’d been purely by chance that he met Zhang Hao on the bus, when he recognized Planet University’s insignia on Hao’s backpack and struck up a conversation that ended up being nearly as natural as breathing.

Hanbin didn’t think he’d warm up to somebody as quickly as he did with Zhang Hao, it was both exciting and weird to meet someone that was so much like him. They took the same major, both wanted to be teachers, and had the same sense of humor. It was like finding his soulmate!

He didn’t notice anything wrong with Matthew until a few weeks after Hao first arrived, but he simply brushed it off as Matthew being unfamiliar with the new friend. He’d get so lost in conversation with Hao that he wouldn’t notice how quiet Matthew would get in their presence or how he always needed to be somewhere else.

“Hey, did I do something to make Matthew uncomfortable?” Hao asked one day, when they had partnered up for the skit they had to do in class.

“What do you mean by that?” Hanbin frowned, trying to think back to any time Matthew seemed upset at Hao.

“Well, maybe I’m overthinking it but he always feels tense around me? Like he doesn’t like me but is being nice anyway?”

Hanbin huffed in amusement. “Nah, Matthew definitely likes you. He’s just a bit awkward around new people.”

Hao conceded, chalking it up to his own insecurity, and they proceeded with their assignment for the rest of the class period.

After his classes were over, Hanbin’s phone pinged.

Hyung, do you want to get dinner together today? 😚  Read the text from Matthew.

Hanbin winced briefly before typing: Sorry, Matthew-ah, I told Hao that I would show him around the neighborhood today.

A check mark appeared next to his message, indicating that Matthew had seen his message, but Hanbin had to wait a few moments for a response.

That's totally cool! Tell Hao hyung I said Hi!!!

Hanbin felt guilty. This was the third time in a row that he'd blown off Matthew after classes, but he shook his head, spotting Hao waiting for him by the entrance gate.

Maybe he was just becoming too aware of Matthew's crush, but it felt like the younger became more clingy after Hao entered their lives. Hanbin wanted to think that Matthew was jealous of having to share his friend, but Hanbin knew it was more than that.

He figured that distance was needed between the two of them, and he wanted to get to know Hao better. For so long it had just been Hanbin and Matthew, so meeting new people could be good for both of them.

Knowing Matthew would be disappointed, he promised the younger that they could catch a movie and eat dinner over the weekend.

"Where are we off to today?" Asked Hao, and Hanbin told him about the cat cafe he frequented with Matthew. Hao's face broke into a wide smile, exclaiming,

"I love cats!"

Hanbin nodded,

"The cafe is near campus, Matthew found it last year and we went to it regularly before exam season. You should've seen him the first time, it was like a little kid on a sugary trip. Adorable." Hanbin chuckled.

"Matthew and you are pretty close, huh?"

Hao said as they fell into stride with each other.

"Yeah, we've been best friends for a long time. We were neighbors in elementary school, but he moved away to Canada shortly after. He came back in high school though, and we've been inseparable ever since."

"Only best friends?"

Hanbin's head jerked to look incredulously at Hao, who was smirking.

"Yes, only friends."

The smirk fell, replaced by confusion.

"Really? I could've sworn he liked you."

Hanbin groaned, throwing his head back with his palms pressing into his eyes. He hadn't expected anyone, much less Hao, to catch on. The friends they'd had for a year still couldn't tell or wouldn't say they did, so Hao noticing it after being there for a few weeks surprised Hanbin.

"He does."

"Then why…?"

"I just- I don't know what to do with that information, alright? Matthew has never said anything about it, and I don't feel the same way. I don't want to make things weird by bringing it up out of nowhere, since I know Matthew's gonna feel bad about it."

"That's tough."

"Kind of? I'm… Sorry, I didn't want to bring this up out of nowhere, you probably don't care about personal drama like this. Please don't mention it to Matthew or treat him differently."

Hao mimicked a zipping motion with his fingers pinching towards his mouth.

"You have my silence, don't worry. And I don’t mind you sharing personal things, I want to be someone you can rely on." Hao smiled slightly, and Hanbin let out a relieved breath.

"Thank you, that really means a lot to me. Ah— We're almost at the cafe! I'm sure you'll love it."

Chapter Text

"Seok Matthew. Is everything alright?"

Matthew's classmates filed out of the room as the Advanced Chemistry class came to an end. As Matthew was packing up his materials, he was approached by the class' TA, Kim Jiwoong. Jiwoong was a senior, and Matthew had seen him a couple times on campus, only knowing rumors about the man rather than personally.

They usually didn't interact much aside from a few hello, good morning, and how was your days. Matthew didn't expect to be approached by the senior, but his recent exam clutched in Jiwoong's hand made his heart sink.

"Yes, Sunbae! Everything's fine."

Jiwoong raised his brows in concern, and placed the exam sheet in front of Matthew. 

"Are you sure? This is the lowest score you've gotten, ever. I know it's still early in the semester, but your grades have been dropping for some reason. I'm just letting you know, so that they don't drop further than this."

Matthew's cheeks grew hot in embarrassment, and he thanked Jiwoong for letting him know.

"Is there something in the curriculum you're not getting?" Continued Jiwoong, who brushed off Matthew's thanks in favor of getting to the root of the problem.

Matthew scratched his head and shook it.

"Ah, there is. But it's something stupid, Sunbae doesn't need to worry about it."

Jiwoong looked at him knowingly.

"If it's stupid, then you shouldn't allow it to affect your studies."

"I know." Matthew buried his face in his arms, groaning.

"Lately my note taking and attention span have been kind of horrible. I'm sorry about this."

Jiwoong patted Matthew on the back reassuringly.

"Why are you apologizing to me? All you can do now is work harder for future tests. Now, give me your phone, I'll give you my SNS so that you can ask any questions, one on one."

Matthew handed over his phone and Jiwoong added his number to the contacts.

Handing the phone back with a smile, he said, "Ah. I'm sorry for making you late to your next class, you should probably go first. I hope to see better from you in the future, Matthew. If you’re ever struggling, now you know my SNS. I don’t mind helping out."

They said their goodbyes, and Matthew left the room with his face flaming and his heart filled with dread.

A notification sound made him look down at his phone, where a message read, 

Hello, this is Kim Jiwoong!! I hope to see you again soon, Hubae~~

Humiliated after showing the Sunbae such a poor side of himself, he frantically exited the chatroom. He couldn't believe that things had reached this point. Though he admitted that he'd been a bit distracted these days, he thought that he had hidden his true emotions well enough. For his grades to be slipping so easily, and for someone who was akin to a stranger pulling him aside to ask if he was alright—

No, decided Matthew. He was not alright. Things had gone too far, and Matthew knew well that there could be no good ending for him if he let himself go like this. He cleared his head as he approached his next class, adamant on making sure he kept up with his studies.

Matthew had expected that to be his last interaction with Kim Jiwoong, assuming that the elder had better things to do aside from comforting failing 2nd years. A week had gone by and he nearly forgot about the incident, until the environmental club's biweekly park clean-up trip arrived. Matthew, in conjunction with an eager Hao, grabbed a pair of trash picking spears and a large garbage bag before setting out to a location in the park.

The sun bore heavily over them, and they decided to start in an area shaded by the foliage of trees.

"Are you ready, Hyung?" Matthew addressed Hao, opening the garbage bag and setting it on the ground for easy access.

"Yeah. How hard can it be?"

Matthew snorted, amused at Hao's rare display of arrogance.

"The task is easy enough, it's the weather and endurance that's the real challenge."

Hao shrugged loftily. 

"Bring it on."

Matthew learned that aside from being perfect in nearly everything, Zhang Hao was extremely competitive. The environmental club's trash pick up trips were often accompanied by a competition. Each pair of volunteers would pick up as much trash as they could within the allotted time given, then the pairs would all come together at the end to see who collected the most trash. This week, the prize was a couples' coupon to the expensive ice cream shop nearby the campus, and Hao was determined to win it.

The elder had started almost immediately, picking up trash at a pace Matthew was sure he'd tire from soon enough. Matthew himself focused on the area near a couple of benches, spearing the pieces of plastic and dropping them into the trash bag. Though it was quite hot outside, Matthew was glad they’d chosen a good place to start, as they were faring better than others who he’d seen that already had dark splotches of sweat on their backs.

"Hey!" He heard a voice behind him call out, but he paid it no mind until Hao tapped him on the back, nodding behind him and drawing attention to the figure approaching.

It was Kim Jiwoong, walking towards him with Yoon Seobin, Matthew’s clubmate. Matthew smiled hesitantly and greeted them.

“Hello, Sunbae.”

Jiwoong smiled at him with narrowed eyes.

“Hello to you too, Seok Matthew! If I remember correctly, you said that you would contact me. It’s been a week, and you never did!”

Though Jiwoong said it playfully, at that moment Matthew wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Color rose to his cheeks and he stuttered out an apology, muttering something about studying hard and forgetting to message him.

Jiwoong chuckled, ruffling his hair, telling him that he was only kidding.

Yoon Seobin, noticing their interaction, stepped in. 

“Oh, Sunbae, do you know Matthew?”

“I do, I’m the TA for his Advanced Chem class. Though I don’t think Matthew likes me very much…”

“S-Sunbae! That’s not true!” Matthew denied profusely, to which Jiwoong threw an arm dramatically over his face.

“I messaged him after we first got acquainted, but he left me on read. Read! Didn’t even want to reply back a simple ‘hello.’” Jiwoong sighed dolefully, hanging off of Seobin as Matthew became more flustered.

“Sunbae!” 

Hao accidentally snorted, and Matthew turned to see him holding his hand over his mouth with his shoulders shaking in laughter. Betrayed, Matthew whined, 

“Hyung!”

“I’m sorry!” Hao defended, raising both his arms up in surrender. 

“Sorry. Why don’t- why don’t you introduce me to your friends?” Hao finally conceded, changing the subject before Matthew actually got upset.

Matthew frowned at the group, looking back to Jiwoong and Seobin. He huffed.

“Hyung, this is a sunbae I met last week, Kim Jiwoong. And Seobin is the one who organized this trip. Seobin, this is Zhang Hao. He’s in 3rd year, and he wanted to check out the club before he decided on joining it.”

Seobin brightened at that. “Oh my, the famous Zhang Hao! I’ve heard so much about you. Well, what do you think of our club so far? Do you have any interest in joining? What about leadership positions? I’m the vice-president, so come to me if you have any questions.”

Hao greeted him, shaking the outstretched hand and deciding that he wanted to join their club. Seobin, nearly manic in his excitement, led him away to introduce him to the other members.

And then Matthew was left with Kim Jiwoong.

Before he could apologize again for leaving Jiwoong on read, the elder let out a sigh as he gazed longingly at the receding backs of Hao and Seobin.

“Isn’t he just the cutest?”

Matthew’s eyebrows shot up, and he glanced back to Hao and Seobin before turning to Jiwoong with a mildly disgusted expression.

“Excuse me?”

Jiwoong continued, sighing dreamily. “He’s like an angel, how is that possible? Even from the back he looks beautiful…”

Matthew felt a bit sick.

“No offense Sunbae, but you thirsting after my hyung is kinda gross.”

Jiwoong faced Matthew with an exasperated expression.

“Not your hyung, Matthew. I’m talking about Seobin-ah.”

The thought clicked in Matthew’s head, and before he could consider his words, he asked, “Is that why you’re here today? I’ve never seen you in the environmental club before.”

Jiwoong had the decency to look a little sheepish.

“I found out he was VP recently, and had to give it a shot!”

Instead of teasing him like Jiwoong likely expected, Matthew nodded in understanding. However, something confused him– He hadn’t seen Jiwoong around Seobin before, and Matthew was pretty sure that they didn’t share any classes due to the differing grade levels. Despite that, they seemed pretty close, so why didn’t Jiwoong just tell Seobin outright?

“I met him at a cafe,” Jiwoong explained, “Y’know, the one with the cats? It was maybe around a month ago. But, I’m a bit allergic and was sneezing up a storm, and just my luck when the most handsome barista known to man comes to my rescue with tissues and a gorgeous smile-”

“Uh, TMI, Sunbae. And why would you go to the cat cafe if you were allergic?”

“Shush. Where was I? Oh, I was there with my little brother as well, so I couldn’t get his number or anything like that– gotta set the right example for the kids– but imagine my surprise when I saw him again at uni! I knew I had to shoot my shot, but I didn’t want to be obvious– gotta keep up my suave persona, y’know? So….”

Matthew had mentally checked out, simply nodding along and wondering how any of this related to him and why Jiwoong was narrating his whole love story to someone he barely knew.

Kim Jiwoong, as it turned out, was nothing like the cold, domineering prince the uni students had made him out to be. Matthew could tell that those who knew of his reputation never met him in real life, because though the man was as tall and handsome as everybody said, his personality was quite the antithesis. He was not the aloof, untouchable chaebol others thought of him as. 

Kim Jiwoong was as much a fool in love as Matthew himself was.

“–And now that I know that he’s friends with you , Matthew, I’m going to take this opportunity that was handed to me on a silver platter and make that man mine! You, Matthew , are going to help me.”

At the sound of his name, Matthew snapped back with a squawk.

“Me? Why do I have to? No offense again, Sunbae, but I don’t know you well enough to help you.”

“Matthew!” Jiwoong cried in mock dramatics.

“I thought we were on good terms! Do you really hate me enough to keep me from my love?”

Matthew shook his head in exasperation. Which one of them was the elder, again? He knew he should be more resistant to Jiwoong’s silly request, but when he paused to consider it, a thought popped into his head that convinced him to accept Jiwoong’s demand.

“Okay, I’ll help you. But on one condition: you have to help me study for my next exam, free of cost . And I’m not going to be held accountable if things go south.”

He saw Jiwoong about to protest his offer for a second, but it seemed like the man’s desperation for a relationship with Seobin outweighed any doubts he had.

His eyes grew serious, and he shook Matthew’s hand gravely while staring into his eyes.

“Thank you, Matthew. I will remember this. I’ll even appoint you as my best man at our wedding.”

At that, Matthew internally groaned. Who even was this guy?

Chapter Text

Being with Kim Jiwoong was not as much of a nuisance as Matthew expected it to be. In fact, Matthew felt himself enjoying it. The elder was smart when he wanted to be, and he was naturally good at teaching. It surprised Matthew how much he’d improved in a few days, and he understood why Jiwoong had taken the job of TA.

It was only at the slightest mention of Yoon Seobin did Jiwoong devolve into the airheaded daydreamer Matthew had known since that day of the club trip. 

That day, Jiwoong had 'helped' him clean up any surrounding litter, and Hao came back around 10 minutes later, whining about how Matthew had replaced him and how they’d never get that coupon now. In the end, it was Jiwoong and Seobin that had miraculously won, but Matthew suspected foul play on Jiwoong’s part, as it seemed like the older had been too busy talking to him and not so subtly flirting with an oblivious Seobin to get any work done. 

The victorious glint in Jiwoong’s eyes as he flaunted the coupon confirmed that to Matthew, and he shook his head. The lengths people would go to for love. 

Of course, he was not one to talk. He knew Hanbin didn't like him -love him- the way Matthew loved him, he'd known that for years and it was a truth Matthew had to come to terms with before he got his hopes up. It didn't, however, prevent Matthew’s feelings from existing over the years, and they subsequently intensified into the mess of a love life he had today. Matthew guessed that he should be happy for Jiwoong’s success in scoring a date, courtesy of that couples’ coupon.

Somehow within the time that Jiwoong assisted Matthew and Matthew had orchestrated ‘coincidental’ meetings between Jiwoong and Seobin, the elder had been upgraded from ‘Jiwoong Sunbae’ to ‘Jiwoon Hyung.’ Though their interactions started for mutual benefit, they realized that they were quite the dynamic duo as their friendship grew stronger.

They were in the library, reviewing for Matthew’s final exam. They had a break after a full hour of reviewing the material, and Jiwoong had taken the opportunity to practice his pick up lines on Matthew.

“Did I… Make you anxious?” He whipped his head to Matthew in an exaggerated gesture.

Matthew wheezed, clutching his stomach.

“Ew, Hyung. That was really bad.”

Jiwoong looked at him dully.

“It doesn’t matter if you think it's bad. I asked if you think he’d like it.”

Matthew scoffed, not able to fight the smile off of his face. He turned up his nose and said to Jiwoong,

“It was like the worst pick up line ever. I cringed, so hard. And Seobin will too, I promise you. He'll definitely be anxious after that, but not in a good way.”

“But the guy from the drama was able to get a boyfriend with it!”

“That guy was also a vampire , Hyung! It’s fiction, I’m telling you it won’t work!”

The two kept bickering back and forth, until a library attendant had to come over and shush them herself.

They had apologized profusely, but not half an hour later managed to get themselves kicked out.

On their way down the hall, Matthew complained to Jiwoong about how he had gotten them kicked out of the library.

“My fault? As if! All you did was make fun of my honest attempts to impress Seobin, so I think that you’re the one who’s at fault.”

“ Hyung !” Matthew began to walk faster, attempting to outdistance Jiwoong. But the elder, curse his long legs, was able to catch up with him in no time and swung his arm around Matthew’s shoulders. He rustled Matthew’s hair ( Hey! I spent hours styling that! ) and laughed at the younger’s exaggerated annoyance.

Matthew had also learned, through their interactions together, that Kim Jiwoong was a very physically affectionate person. He would drape himself over Matthew, touch his back and give him head pats almost unconsciously. Had it been anyone else, Matthew would have thought that they were hitting on him. But Jiwoong was too far into his own head, so infatuated with Yoon Seobin that Matthew was able to understand the elder’s platonic emotions towards him and construe the elder’s actions only as such.

On their walk of shame out from the library, the pair managed to run into Sung Hanbin. Hanbin greeted Matthew as he usually did, but his eyes lingered on Jiwoong, as he was unfamiliar with him. His eyes traveled to Jiwoong’s arm around Matthew’s shoulders, and how close the two stuck together, before turning his eyes back up to Matthew and the stranger.

“Matthew! What are you still doing here? Your classes are already finished, aren't they?”

Matthew made an affirming noise, gesturing towards Jiwoong.

“They are. I was just studying with Jiwoon hyung a bit for the exams! We were going to get dinner together… Do you want to join us, Hyung?”

Hanbin met eyes with Jiwoong, who was watching him with a curious expression. He smiled at the other man, who in return smiled at him, dropping the look he had on before.

Hanbin agreed to Matthew’s suggestion, and walked in stride with them. Matthew was chattering away to the two others about how he felt confident that he’d ace the exam, and Hanbin spoke to him encouragingly.

“Of course you’ll pass, Seokmae-yah. You’re the smartest person I know.”

At that, Matthew’s ears became red. The shy look of gratitude on his face was the most genuine Hanbin had seen him in a while. Ah. He put that thought away.

Hanbin didn’t mind that Matthew had forgotten to introduce him to this new Jiwoon hyung, and he didn’t mind that the man had integrated himself into Matthew’s life seamlessly. A friend of Matthew’s was a friend of Hanbin’s, he decided.

He was about to ask a question to the man, but the latter’s phone rang at that moment, and he excused himself to answer it.

“What?” Jiwoong said to the person over the line, and paused in concern before continuing,

“Are you sure? Okay, wait there. I’ll pick you up, Yujin-ah.”

It was a few minutes before he returned to Matthew and Hanbin, to whom he apologized.

“Sorry Matthew-ah, I can’t come along today. My little brother’s in his first year of high school, and he got himself lost by taking the wrong transit route. I gotta go now, but I’ll text you later. It was nice to meet you too,” he said to Hanbin, to which he nodded politely and waved goodbye.

Matthew pouted, but told him to hurry to his brother, pushing him forward. Once the receding back of Jiwoong was no longer in sight, Matthew faced Hanbin with a more hesitant smile.

“I guess it’s just the two of us today.”

Hanbin discreetly let his shoulders drop in relief, and replied back,

“I guess it is.”

“So how did you meet that Jiwoon sunbae?” Hanbin asked casually, while handing over a napkin to Matthew, whose mouth was smeared in barbecue sauce.

Matthew swallowed down the food and responded after wiping his mouth.

“He assists professor Lim in my Advanced Chem class.”

“He seems pretty nice.” 

Matthew nodded enthusiastically. 

It had been a long time since the two of them had just hung out together, since as of late they seemed to be absorbed in their own studies. Hanbin couldn’t remember the last time he’d had to spend a week only being able to text Matthew, compared to seeing him in person. Even now, it was difficult to get him to eat lunch together, as the younger one always needed to ‘study hard’ and ‘review for a test.’

Of course, Hanbin himself was quite busy, and he knew Matthew’s character enough to understand the stress he was under. But Hanbin couldn’t help but feel like Matthew was drifting away. Even as he sat in front of Hanbin, Matthew was scrolling through his phone and messaging someone, instead of interacting with Hanbin. So he asked about the Jiwoon hyung he’d met previously and Matthew looked up with an exasperated sigh, as if the mere mention of Jiwoon was enough to exhaust him.

“He’s so annoying! Don’t get me wrong, hanging out with him is fun, but he’s always clinging to me like a puppy and bothering me with lame pick up lines. It’s as if he doesn’t know he’s the sunbae!”

Matthew spoke with a tone of annoyance, but his face belied his exaggeration and Hanbin determined that Matthew, no matter how much he complained, seemed to like Jiwoon’s company.

That was…good.

Hanbin had seen Matthew’s shyness firsthand when they first met, and it had persisted all through highschool and into university. Hanbin was happy that Matthew made a new friend so easily.

He wanted to comment about the pick up lines Matthew mentioned, but he didn’t know how to and he was sure it was none of his business. After all, it was Matthew that was familiar with Jiwoon.

Once Matthew had warmed up again, the conversation flowed naturally. Matthew laughed at his jokes and engaged with him jovially, and Hanbin began to relax. It was the same, old Matthew, who he could talk with for hours on end about anything he wanted.

They must have sat at the restaurant for three hours or so, just catching up and drinking with each other. The sky had started to darken by the time they left the restaurant, and both their hearts felt light.

Hanbin offered to take Matthew home, as the route to the dorm could be dangerous during that time of day. Matthew had blushed profusely at the offer, and eventually nodded as he entered Hanbin’s car. 

Hanbin had luckily managed to stay sober despite the drinks they’d ordered, as he had only had a few sips of ale compared to Matthew's three cups of alcohol. The effects of the alcohol were evident on Matthew, as his face maintained the perpetual blush and he was poutier than usual.

He clung to Hanbin’s arm from the passenger seat, whining about how cold it was and how he wanted to go home. Hanbin did his best to reassure him, and eventually got Matthew to doze off quietly in the seat.

“Hanbin hyung,” he mumbled, eyes still closed as he reached blindly for Hanbin. The older man did his best to grab Matthew’s hand while his eyes were still on the road, in case Matthew accidentally made a grab for the steering wheel.

“Thank you… for hanging out with me tonight. I liked it a lot.” Unexpectedly, accompanied by the words of gratitude came a wet kiss to Hanbin’s hand. Hanbin nearly crashed the car right then and there, but was just barely able to reign it in as he looked down at Matthew, panicked. Matthew wasn’t a person who showed touchy-feely affection in such a way, not even when he was drunk. This kiss, of course, was something different.

Matthew, however, was fast asleep, oblivious to the action and sniffling occasionally at the late night chill. Hanbin willed his heart to calm down, reminding himself that he had nothing to worry about, since Matthew’s drunk habits ensured that he wouldn’t remember anything about this moment. Part of him was happy that Matthew still thought so dearly of him, but another, more logical part of him wondered how long Matthew’s infatuation with him would last.

Once they had arrived at Matthew’s dorm, Hanbin took his phone out of his pocket to call Jay. In ten minutes, the aforementioned friend appeared at the entrance of the complex, with a sleepy Kamden in tow. The two of them helped Matthew out of the car as carefully as possible, thanking Hanbin for bringing him back.

Hanbin simply nodded, watching the trio enter the building. Only after watching them stumble through the front door did he fire up the engine again.

For some reason, the drive back to Hanbin’s apartment seemed longer than ever.

Chapter Text

"No, that's off-center, Gunwook! Move it more to the left."

Matthew chuckled as Gunwook sighed, rolling his eyes before adjusting the huge plank of wood.

Gyuvin stood in front of him, squinting at the configuration with his arms crossed. He shook his head.

"A little more to the right. Matthew hyung, what do you think?"

"I think it needs to be more to the left."

Gunwook’s eye twitched, and he dropped the plank against the wall with a resounding thud.

"Why don't you do it yourself? Put those muscles to use, why don't you!"

"But if I do that, who's gonna check to make sure it's aligned? I know for sure it's not gonna be you .”

“You—” Gunwook’s eyes widened in frustration, and he made a step towards Gyuvin, who was smirking as he moved to hide behind Matthew. It was a comical sight, watching Gyuvin try to hide behind Matthew who was nearly half a head shorter than him. Even while squatting down, his hair peeked over Matthew’s head.

Matthew held in a laugh, trying to placate Gunwook.

“Okay, you can just leave it, Gunwook. I think Keita hyung needs help bringing the paint buckets up to the theater, why don’t you join him?”

Gunwook nodded, eyes still locked with a mischievous Gyuvin as he retracted his stink eye. He stalked away with a pout on his face, but not without a light shove to Gyuvin who pushed back.

Once Gunwook was gone, Matthew turned to Gyuvin and scolded lightly.

“You shouldn’t tease Gunwook-ah like that!” 

Gyuvin rolled his eyes playfully, and Matthew huffed.

These two— usually with Gyuvin as the perpetrator— were always messing around and getting on each other’s nerves, to the point where Matthew silently wondered how they remained friends for so long.

“Okay, Gyuvin. Since Gunwook’s gone, grab the plank. I’ll tell you whether it’s aligned or not.”

Gyuvin looked like he was about to complain, but his eyes fell to a figure behind Matthew and soon a very tall, dark shadow loomed over him.

“Kim Gyuvin! Are you fooling around again?” The voice boomed from behind Matthew, and the shorter rolled his eyes at the authoritative role Jiwoong tried to uphold.

Gyuvin, who hadn’t had many interactions with the huge, intimidating sunbae prior to today, shut his mouth immediately and shook his head. His eyes were wide as Jiwoong stared him down, not quite frightened but definitely apprehensive.

“Good. If you have nothing else to do, go over to your Jongwoo Sunbae. He needs help organizing the costumes.”

Gyuvin nodded in obedience, and hurried away with his tail tucked between his legs.

Matthew snorted, swatting the arm Jiwoong had rested on his head and turning around.

“You shouldn’t scare him like that, he’s just a freshman.”

“He’s gotta show some respect to you.”

“Oh, lay off. He’s just a kid.”

“Maybe. But we’re on a tight schedule right now, so we need to do as much as we can.”

A nod from Matthew. This time of year always became quite hectic, with all the clubs going into a frenzy to organize and orchestrate activities. It was the annual spring festival, in which many clubs on campus worked together to plan the event. The environmental club had partnered up with the theater club to put on a play, and members of both clubs were currently working on the production. 

Matthew and Jiwoong, along with a couple of Matthew’s friends, were sent to manage the set. They watched as Gunwook walked into the theater with Keita, both carrying two paint buckets in each hand.

“Yah! You two lovebirds, cut it out! I’m gonna throw up, get back to work!”

A voice shouted from across the room. Matthew whipped his head to glare at Haruto, who in turn stuck his tongue out at him.

“You’re gonna make me throw up, stop saying stupid things!” Matthew fired back, huffing and pushing Jiwoong away from him.

“I know I should be offended, but I can’t help but agree,” came from Jiwoong, before leaving Matthew to search for Seobin.

“I think he’s in the props closet,” Matthew said to him, and Jiwoong held a thumbs up as he speed walked out of the theater.

So much for that ‘tight schedule,’ huh?

“Did you manage to find it?”

Hanbin shook his head no, and Hao nodded in understanding.

“It should be around here somewhere, I’ll check in the storage room downstairs.”

Hanbin was a bit frustrated. He’d been searching all day for the set piece of the opening scene of the play, but it had coincidentally and unfortunately disappeared when he needed it the most. He really hoped it’d turn up, otherwise he’d have to ask the tech crew to create it from scratch again.

“Yah! You two lovebirds, cut it out! I’m gonna throw up, get back to work!” He heard Haruto yell abruptly, and he followed the other’s gaze to the reason for his outburst. Matthew and that Jiwoong Sunbae were huddled up by the background piece, with the elder's arm on Matthew’s shoulder. They seemed to be murmuring to each other, but jumped apart at Haruto’s shout. He saw Matthew’s face become extremely flushed within a matter of seconds, and he retorted in an angry response to Haruto.

Kim Jiwoong, who Hanbin expected to look upset at Matthew’s response, only seemed to be amused. Hanbin saw his lips move in a response he muttered to Matthew, but he was too far to hear what he said. Then he was gone, with Matthew calling after him. It was odd, since Hanbin thought that the sunbae had been hitting on Matthew— he had initially assumed that they were even dating.

After that first afternoon he’d met Matthew’s sunbae, Hanbin had been curious as to why he’d never heard of a Jiwoon Sunbae before. Hanbin later came to learn that Matthew’s new friend was Kim Jiwoong, not Jiwoon . Hanbin let out a huff of amusement. That was a very Matthew-like mistake. Why the sunbae had never bothered to correct Matthew, though, was a mystery to him.

A little voice in his mind told him that it was because Jiwoong liked Matthew, of course he’d find it as endearing as Hanbin did.

“Whoa, what are you thinking so deeply about?” A voice came from behind him, and Hanbin jolted out of his reverie as Hao materialized before him.

“Nothing! Oh, good, you found it.” Hanbin spoke quickly, focusing his attention on the set piece in Hao’s arms.

Hao looked at him quizzically, then asked him if everything was alright. Hanbin insisted that he was fine, just getting a little overwhelmed with all the deadlines he had coming up. Hao, concerned, led him over to the front row of seats, urging him to sit down and catch his breath.

Hanbin smiled at him appreciatively, and patted the seat beside him. Hao settled down, turning to Hanbin with a pensive expression.

“You’ve been a bit… spaced out, lately. Are you sure there isn’t anything else?”

“No, nothing else. Just the deadlines.”

Hao looked like he didn’t believe him, but he dropped the subject. Hanbin was grateful, and he stamped down any uneasiness he felt before.

“Oh, hey, do you know that guy Matthew’s been hanging out with a lot lately?” Hanbin asked casually, 

“He's really handsome, I think he’s a senior?”

Hao’s eyes flickered in recognition, and he guessed.

“Jiwoong Sunbae?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, Jiwoong Sunbae is pretty cool. I saw him maybe a week or two ago during the environmental club trip with Matthew? The guy was all over him, Matthew even ditched being my partner to work with him. I think Jiwoong Sunbae has a crush on Matthew, but I didn’t know the two were so close.”

“Me either.”

Hao noticed Hanbin’s eyes dim slightly, and thought that brought a certain question to his mind, he changed the subject again in order to avoid stressing Hanbin out more. Hanbin must have just been feeling bad that Matthew had a new friend to spend his time with.

“Y’know, last week when I was ordering dinner, I mispronounced one of the dishes and I think I ended up cussing at the waiter.”

Hanbin looked at him curiously, and asked what the word was. Hao looked down hesitantly, then whispered it in Hanbin's ear. A surprised laugh burst out from Hanbin, as he looked at Hao disbelievingly.

“Oh my god, you didn’t.”

“I knew it, I did get it mixed up! The waiter looked so shocked, and I felt so bad when they came back to get me the food.” Hao groaned, and Hannbin threw his head back to laugh at him.

“Stop laughing!” Hao protested, shoving him lightly.

Hanbin laughed anyway. It felt good to laugh, and he let it all out until he was heaving and nearly tearing up.

“It wasn’t even that funny!”

He didn’t notice Matthew’s mournful gaze watching them, watching how Hanbin’s hand settled on Hao’s thigh unconsciously and how the two laughed together at something only they knew. 

That was, in fact, part of the problem. He didn’t see Matthew the way Matthew saw him.

Chapter Text

Matthew exhaled a sigh of relief as he checked the exam sheet, and a huge grin crept onto his face. 

He did it. He’d passed, and with flying colors!

Matthew was ecstatic, since he’d been studying tirelessly to make up for his sinking grades. If he did any worse in this exam, his GPA would have sunk further and plummeted him into mediocrity. Fortunately, all those long nights and lack of social life paid off, with the fruit of those struggles clutched in his hand and brandishing a clean 95.

He took a picture of the results, and sent it to Jiwoong, Hanbin, Hao and a bunch of other friends with a flurry of emojis and exclamation points.

He felt on top of the world, and began to smile wider when the messages of congratulations and ‘I knew you could do it' filtered into his inbox.

Hanbin seemingly hadn’t read his message yet. He didn’t think much of it, since he figured that the elder was probably busy studying for his own exams, and decided to drop by his apartment to let him know. He anticipated the proud look on Hanbin’s face, and how earnestly he would tell Matthew that he knew Matthew would do well.

Hanbin’s apartment was not very far from the campus, and Matthew was able to board a bus in the direction of the apartment complex within ten minutes. He entered the building, nodding at the concierge, Taerae. Said man looked up at his book for a moment from behind his desk, and simply waved at Matthew before going back to his task.

When he got to Hanbin's apartment, he knocked on the door but received no answer. He wondered why it was taking so long for Hanbin to open it, so he twisted the doorknob.

To his surprise, the door clicked open and Matthew looked into an empty room. That wasn't right, Hanbin never left the door open while he was outside.

A chill crept through Matthew as he took in the empty living room. A scuffling sound came from inside Hanbin's room, and Matthew held his breath.

Could it be… that there was a robber?

Matthew almost panicked. Should he leave? Call the police? Go inside?

He was about to choose the first option when a hiss came from Hanbin's room. A hiss from a voice that sounded… that sounded like his Hao hyung. It was followed by a groan that sounded like Hao, and Matthew's heartbeat sped up so quickly that his heart almost ran out of his chest.

He thought back to the door last ajar, to the empty living room, to the noises coming from the bedroom. His mind relayed an idea, telling him that it should be obvious as to what was going on, but he refused to believe it.

Matthew opened the door.

And of course, he should’ve trusted his gut instinct. His face froze in shock as he tried to process the scene before him, and when it did, a little gasp escaped as he turned around to leave, his hands flying to cover his eyes. 

“Oh my god! I’m— I’m so sorry, I’ll pretend that I never saw this!”

His heart wasn’t nearly as composed as he was, and promptly broke into a million little insignificant pieces as he rushed out of the apartment, running down the stairs in lieu of waiting for the elevator. A muffled shout of “Matthew— wait!” followed behind him, but he felt his breathing get heavier as he quickened his pace and ran out of the front entrance. 

No matter how much he rubbed at his eyes and how hard he tried to calm down, the image was burned into his brain already and he knew it’d never leave him for the rest of his life.

And there it was, taunting him: the sight of Hanbin and Hao pulled close together, Hanbin removing Hao’s shirt as the latter had his head thrown back. From his entrance at the door, Hao had had his back to Matthew, but Matthew knew he’d seen enough when his eyes met Hanbin’s startled ones and the elder had scrambled to replace Hao’s shirt when he saw the younger.

These past few weeks, Matthew didn’t want to believe it. He had actively refused to believe it, but the little drop of uncertainty had pooled in his chest, and now it was overflowing like that of a raging waterfall as he continued to run.

His mind had blanked out, and he didn’t know where he was going. As long as it’s far, far, from here , he thought.

Matthew knew that Hanbin didn’t love him. Well, maybe he did, but not in the way Matthew wanted him to. He knew this. He had accepted this.

But maybe he hadn’t. He knew that Hao and Hanbin had gotten close with each other in record speed, and that the two of them were very physically close. But what Matthew had just witnessed was not something being done by two people who were just friends. If that were the case, Matthew could have been in Hao’s place right now, but he wasn’t. And now, it was certain that he wasn’t ever going to be.

How could he ignore the truth when he had quite literally walked in on it?

Before he even realized it, he was standing at the front door to a house, ringing the doorbell rapidly. His eyes burned, but no tears came out. They were so dry from how fast he had run, and he was still heaving from both the emotions and physical exertion he’d been through.

The door was answered by a young boy, presumably high school age, who looked at Matthew in alarm. The boy was about to shut the door when Matthew whispered shakily, 

“Does— Does Kim Jiwoon live here?”

The boy gave him a funny look, but went inside with a nod of his head. Matthew heard a faint, ‘Jiwoong hyung!’ being called through the house, and the next time the door opened, Jiwoong stood before him with a cautious look on his face which quickly morphed into worry as he took in Matthew’s state.

“Holy crap, Matthew-ah. What happened?”

It was like a switch, and the tears Matthew had been unable to produce before came in full force. He threw himself into Jiwoong’s open arms, and let out a broken sob. Jiwoong cursed softly, almost picking him up entirely as he pulled him through the doorway and into his house. 

Matthew vaguely registered Jiwoong telling someone, ‘Go to a friend’s house for a while, Yujin,’ and another voice replying with trepidation. He didn’t focus too much on it, barely able to open his eyes because of the tears and feeling overwhelmed with despair as he clung to Jiwoong.

Jiwoong was firm, warm and safe, and Matthew buried his face in the elder’s chest as sobs continued to wrack through his body. The elder shushed him silently, carrying him up to his bedroom and sitting down with Matthew still glued to his side. Jiwoong didn’t ask any other questions, or even crack jokes to lighten the mood. He simply brushed Matthew’s hair aside and held him quietly as he broke down.

It felt like hours before Matthew was able to tone his wails down to sniffles, and as soon as it had happened, he felt himself drift off into sleep, having exhausted himself beyond his limit.

Hanbin was worried. Matthew wasn’t picking up any of his calls, or reading any of his texts after he’d run out abruptly. Hanbin turned to Hao, who shook his head, seemingly getting no response either.

“How’s your burn?” Hanbin asked, looking at the arm of Hao’s that he’d bandaged a few minutes ago. 

“I don’t think it’s as bad as we thought it was, but I’ll go to the doctor’s later just in case.”

Hanbin nodded, then asked tensely, “Are you sure he didn’t respond? Did he even read them?”

Hao shook his head again, calling Matthew’s phone for the umpteenth time. Hanbin’s phone was also on ringer, and he was sure that this call could also go to voicemail when the sudden ding of a connecting call sounded. 

“Hello? Matthew?”

“Hello?” A deep voice replied back, perplexed. Hanbin’s hold on his phone tightened. 

“.....Kim Jiwoong Sunbae? Where is Matthew?”

Hao perked up at the mention of Kim Jiwoong, and he pressed his ear closer to Hanbin’s phone to listen in.

“Ah, sorry. Matthew isn’t feeling well right now, please stop trying to contact him for the rest of the day. Thank you.”

Hanbin let out a noise of surprise, and was mid sentence in response when Kim Jiwoong cut the call.

“Hello? Hello?”

No answer, and Hanbin sighed heavily. He didn’t know what to do.

That afternoon he’d gone to study with Hao, and they went back to his apartment to hang out after. They’d both been drinking tea when Hanbin had accidentally spilled his onto Hao’s front, and the two had gotten up frantically to take off the shirt. Luckily, Hao didn’t seem to have any major burns.

Matthew had suddenly walked in at that moment, and the look on his face told Hanbin that Matthew was seeing the situation as something other than it was. 

It was a misunderstanding.

But Matthew had run away, to Kim Jiwoong of all people, and Hanbin didn’t know how else to reach him.

He tried his phone again, but the dial tone didn’t even ring. Jiwoong seemed to have turned Matthew’s phone off. With the way Jiwoong spoke to Hanbin, so formal and cold, Hanbin wondered if he knew that he was the reason why Matthew cried and if Matthew had told him that.

“Did he… think that we were hooking up?” The hesitant question came from Hao, and it made Hanbin’s face burn to nod his head in affirmation.

“Oh, no. Then I’m pretty sure we’ve just broken his heart.”

Hanbin hadn’t thought about it like that.

While Hanbin had assumed that Matthew had run away from being upset at the fact that the person he liked was getting intimate with someone else, he’d never actually considered how deep Matthew’s feelings went.

Matthew liked him. Hanbin thought it was the type of simple puppy love that developed towards someone you were close to. But did Matthew love him? Could this understanding be enough to actually break Matthew’s heart, as Hao so dramatically put it?

Hanbin thought back to when he first realized Matthew’s feelings. Was it his last day of highschool, when Matthew had brought a bouquet of flowers to his graduation party and congratulated him so earnestly? It was the moment he’d realized it head on, but he figured that maybe he’d always known.

Matthew was the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, he was never as subtle as he thought he was. Hanbin had found that endearing at first, and never said anything about Matthew’s crush as Matthew never intruded those feelings onto him.

All those years ago he’d thought that that infatuation would melt away, but after the events of today, and Matthew’s sudden exit despite his words trying to sound unbothered, maybe it never would.

Chapter Text

The scratching of a pencil sounded throughout the otherwise quiet room and Hanbin leaned forward to check the boy’s work over his shoulder. Seeing that the boy understood the concept, he checked his phone for the time again. 7pm.

“So… the answer is log1(0)?”

The boy asked, and Hanbin checked his paper to verify his answer. 

“Yes. Great job, Yujin! You’re learning this pretty quickly.” 

Yujin beamed, getting to work on the next problem while Hanbin once again guided him through it. Though a bit of a slower learner, Hanbin thought Yujin was the smartest of all the kids he tutored, and made his job easier. 

Their sessions were usually quite lively and fun, but today Hanbin could barely pay attention for five minutes and keep the smile on his face, seemingly preoccupied. As they worked on the assignment with an unusual but not unwelcome silence, the door to Yujin’s room suddenly knocked and opened after a beat.

“Sorry to bother you guys, but do you want any snacks? I’ll bring them up.” The person asked, waiting at the foot of the door but not entering the threshold.

It was Yujin’s older brother, who had answered the door for Hanbin that evening when he'd arrived for Yujin’s study session.

Kim Jiwoong.

Hanbin immediately tensed up, but the elder only gave him a cursory glance before looking back to Yujin with a smile. Hanbin hadn’t known that Jiwoong was the older brother Yujin had mentioned within the past few weeks he’d taken Hanbin’s tutoring, but it was a shock to his system when he arrived at their house, an unimpressed and vaguely unwelcoming look on Jiwoong’s face as he held the door open for Hanbin. Hanbin had tried to make amiable small talk, but at Jiwoong’s one word answers, he decided to just stand there in silence until Yujin came down from his room.

Hanbin’s attention returned to Yujin when the highschooler listed the snacks he wanted, and Hanbin simply asked for a glass of water.

The past few days had been…weird for Hanbin. Most of the time they progressed as usual, but there was an obvious discomfort present. For one, he was sure that Matthew was ignoring him. Hanbin knew that the texts he sent had been read, but the replies were only a few words long or none at all. On the university campus, where he was sure to see Matthew at some point, it seemed like the younger simply vanished when Hanbin was near his vicinity.

Hao had been understanding of the situation, and tried to convince him that Matthew just needed space, and when things cooled down, Hanbin could explain the misunderstanding. Matthew was hurt and needed time to process his emotions. 

But Hanbin had instantly disagreed— he needed to clear up the misunderstanding with Matthew as soon as possible, as he hated making the younger upset and being ignored didn’t help his feeling of restlessness in the slightest.

After the day of the call, Hanbin had felt Jiwoong’s cold attitude towards him, but tried to brush it aside as Matthew’s friend was being protective. He tried to reason that if someone had hurt Matthew, he’d also be upset. But therein lay his issue: he had not hurt Matthew, and had no intention of doing so. If Matthew would just give him the chance, he could explain that to him.

As for Jiwoong— while Hanbin was happy that Matthew had a person so devoted to his side, the caustic little voice in Hanbin’s head told him that this was between Matthew, Hanbin and Hao, not Jiwoong, therefore Jiwoong shouldn’t interfere and should mind his own business. Hanbin hadn’t done anything wrong, so the elder shouldn’t be acting like Hanbin was already convicted.

When Jiwoong had left the room to retrieve Yujin’s snacks and Hanbin’s water, Hanbin turned back to the highschooler to review his answers. It wasn’t too difficult, as once Yujin understood a concept, he was able to pick up quite quickly and often excelled. When Hanbin had determined that Yujin understood the idea of logarithms and their bases, he posed an unrelated topic to the teen.

“This is the first time I’ve met your brother. He’s a bit… intimidating?”

Yujin shook his head fondly, before outright telling Hanbin he was wrong.

“Hyung is like, the most immature guy on the planet. He’s got the looks, but I promise you he is not as cool as he tries to be.”

Hanbin laughed, facing Yujin with a disbelieving look.

“Oh, no way. He looked like he was about to cook me alive with his stare. If I looked like that, nobody would dare mess with me.”

“Hm, maybe. But you’re too nice for that, Hanbin hyung. And like I said, my brother isn’t that serious. Usually he’s gushing over some guy at university that he likes.”

“Oh, he’s not dating anyone? I would’ve thought that he—”

“Nah, Hyung is too much of a dork to actually get a boyfriend. He’s been pining over this one guy for weeks now, acting all gross and mushy about how cute he is and how pretty his eyes are when he smiles… Actually, I think it’s the same guy who came over a few days ago— he was in full-on mental breakdown mode and Hyung canceled all his plans to take care of him.”

The familiarity of the last bit, coupled with Jiwoong answering Matthew’s phone and Jiwoong currently being tense with him, led Hanbin to make the necessary assumption that the person Yujin was talking about was Matthew. Hanbin didn’t know if he was thankful for Yujin’s innate ability as a teenager to blabber about everything, since the confirmation of Jiwoong’s (pretty serious) feelings was made to Hanbin and his subsequent feelings of unease only seemed to increase.

Hanbin figured that he didn’t need to know anymore, as Jiwoong was not his concern; Matthew was.

Jiwoong later came back with the snacks, and Hanbin expressed as much gratitude as he could muster when the glass of water was placed before him. He was on edge, and he could tell that Jiwoong noticed that, giving him a side eye when he chuckled haltingly.

Hanbin nearly exhaled in relief when the alarm on his phone went off, signaling the end of Yujin’s tutoring session. After assigning a portion of homework that he would review with the teenager during their next study session, he hastily packed his things and faced the brothers at the door to bid them farewell.

In a rather impulsive decision, he had requested to speak to Jiwoong alone, and the elder only replied with a raised eyebrow, following him out the door as Yujin got busy with his video game set.

Once they were out of earshot and standing at the front door, Hanbin asked the question that was on his mind the entire evening.

“Have you been in contact with Matthew recently? I know the two of you are… close.”

Jiwoong gave him a blank look, and asked after a moment, 

“We are. Why are you asking?”

Hanbin felt shame of course through him. Here he was, Matthew’s best friend, having to ask a virtual stranger about Matthew’s whereabouts. It was demeaning, and Hanbin couldn’t believe things had reached this point.

“He’s been… avoiding me. I haven’t been able to properly get in touch with him, can you tell him to contact me? Please?”

The desperation in his voice must have been evident, as Jiwoong’s impassive expression melted minutely into something akin to pity.

“If Matthew’s not responding to you, there must be a reason. He’s not the type to go cold for no reason. I think you’d just have to wait until he’s ready to contact you, and I’m in no position to interfere with that.”

It wasn’t the answer Hanbin wanted, but what else could he do at that point? Hunt Matthew down? No, that would only stress Matthew out more and he didn’t want that. As reluctant as he was, he knew that Jiwoong was right. He’d have to wait for Matthew to come to him.

“You know you can’t just avoid him forever, right?”

Matthew groaned.

“I can try.”

“That’s stupid. And you know it won’t work.”

Matthew glared into the screen, staring back at Jiwoong’s profile on facetime as the elder looked off screen, brushing his hair.

“And why won’t it?”

Jiwoong sighed. He paused his movements briefly to shoot Matthew a look that said, ‘Are you serious?’

“Because, it’s only been a week and you look awful, like you’ve been crying every day— I know you have. Have you looked in a mirror? Clearly, this separation from your dearly beloved Hanbin hyung is making you feel worse.”

“Please don’t.”

“I’m just saying, you should probably talk to him. I know you’re hurting, but I don’t think he even knows the reason why you’re avoiding him. He asked me about you, y’know?”

“He did?”

“Yeah, after Yujin’s tutoring session, he asked me to tell you to contact him. He looked really upset about it.”

Matthew’s guilt tripled in that moment. Here he was again, making another mistake, keeping Hanbin in the dark and ignoring him.

“Hey, get out of your head.”

Matthew made a sarcastic comment back, but he was secretly thankful for Jiwoong’s ability to accommodate his shortcomings and pull him out of his pity parties.

The day he’d woken up in Jiwoong’s bed with stinging eyes and a headache, Jiwoong had helped him up and made him feel better. He was a truly caring friend, and Matthew would forever be thankful for the way Jiwoong listened to him as he stuttered through the ordeal leading to his breakdown, detailing his traitorous feelings for someone who’d never reciprocate them.

Jiwoong’s initial reaction was that of indignation, because how dare someone make his dear little brother cry? That was toned down after Matthew reasoned with him, and they came to the consensus that though Matthew’s feelings were valid, there wasn’t any real reason to be upset at Hanbin.

“You said that he was getting it on with Zhang Hao? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, I’m just thinking that he’s always been pretty cozy with that junior Chen Kuanjui from the Environmental Club? I thought, if anything, he’d be dating that guy.”

“I know what I saw.”

“I believe you, I’m just saying that I would've never seen this coming.”

Matthew snapped out of his thoughts at the small noise of pain from the other side of the call. Jiwoong had been trying to curl the edges of his hair, and seemingly burned the tip of his finger on the iron. Matthew snorted.

“Anyway, how’s the Seduce-Seobin-Into-Becoming-Your-Boyfriend plan going?”

“I’d say it’s going pretty well, I think he’s really into me! You should see how cutely he laughs at my jokes. I think if I ask him to marry me, he’ll definitely say yes.”

Matthew rolled his eyes in mock exasperation, playing up the theatrics so that they’d be seen properly through the phone screen.

“You can’t ask him to marry you, Hyung, you’ve got to take it one step at a time.”

“First of all, I think that you’re wrong. Second of all, you should take your own advice.”

Chapter Text

Despite his kind persona and seemingly endless generosity towards others, very few people knew that Sung Hanbin was a selfish person. 

Not even Matthew was aware, and Hanbin considered Matthew to be one of the closest people to him. If Hanbin got his way, Matthew would never have to find out such a shameful side to Hanbin, and would be obliviously happy with him forever. Hanbin figured that the only people who knew this negative part of him were the smart ones who realized they were on the receiving end of it.

He'd always shared because he didn't feel the need to keep certain things for himself, and he'd managed to be willing to share and give to others at all times.

Now, Hanbin decided as he stared from behind a tree at Jiwoong feeding Matthew during lunch, he was certainly not willing to share Seok Matthew. Not with anyone, but especially not with Kim Jiwoong, who was old enough to be Matthew's dad (he wasn't) and couldn't keep his hands to himself (he did). 

He knew it was petty, considering the fact that Matthew seemed to be unaware of Jiwoong's provocative attention, but once the ugly feeling of jealousy had reared its head in Hanbin's heart, there was no way to get rid of it.

Despite leaving things on relatively amiable terms the last time they’d personally spoke, Jiwoong hadn’t taken any incentive to interact with him again, seeming to stick even closer to Matthew whenever Hanbin saw the younger man nearby. Jiwoong appeared to be taking the ‘no interference’ stance resolutely, and didn’t speak about Matthew no matter how much Hanbin tried to prod him after classes.

Matthew still hadn’t called him back. Hanbin had been able to catch glimpses of him on campus, but those instances had been undercut when Matthew saw him and ran away, or when Jiwoong purposefully led an oblivious Matthew away from Hanbin. Mention nothing about how Hanbin had to watch him from behind the cover of foliage like a creep.

Hanbin didn't like losing, and the fact that he was potentially losing one of the most important people in his life opened a bottomless schism in his chest. At first, he'd willed himself to ignore it, brushing it aside as codependency and attachment to his best friend, who had apparently found a new best friend. It was alright, Matthew deserved to have good friends. Once Matthew got bored of Jiwoong, he'd come back to Hanbin. Of course he would, because he liked Hanbin in the way he didn’t like Jiwoong. 

The longer Hanbin suppressed it, the bigger the schism grew and the more Hanbin had to restrain himself from jumping Jiwoong on sight.

He wanted to convince himself that it didn't matter, but the repressed fear that Matthew would wake up one day and fall in love with Jiwoong, and in turn abandon Hanbin, loomed over him.

Hanbin, more disoriented than usual, had accidentally spilled it all to Hao during a study period in the open lecture hall.

The latter had listened intently, nodding along and occasionally frowning at something Hanbin said. When he was finished with his tirade, in a manner that was more evocative than Hao had expected, the exchange student was silent. 

When he spoke to Hanbin again, there was doubt in his voice.

"So you are jealous that Matthew is friends with Jiwoong, and are afraid that Matthew will ditch you?"

Hanbin nodded, cheeks burning at the admittance. It sounded so much more immature when Hao said it aloud like that.

"But then I don't understand why you're upset at the two of them potentially dating. I don't think that will affect your friendship, Hanbin."

Said man began to protest, but Hao continued.

"I think that you feeling jealous of your best friend getting close to someone else is completely valid, since I know that was how Matthew felt towards me no matter how much he tried to hide it. I'd feel the same way, too. But I also think that you're not being completely honest with me, or yourself."

Hao saw the look of confusion on Hanbin's face.

"I know you wanted me to reassure you and all, but I don't get it. Why does Matthew dating Jiwoong bother you? Matthew really admires you, there’s no way he’ll stop being your friend. If you were to date someone else, wouldn’t you still be friends with Matthew? In any case, I thought you didn't like Matthew in that way, and would be happy that he found someone else. If you had no intention of reciprocating his feelings, why would you want him to spend the rest of his life chasing after you?"

Silence followed as Hanbin tried to grapple for a response to rationalize Hao’s statements. His mouth floundered open like a fish’s, but no rebuttal came out.

Hao shook his head, rubbing Hanbin’s shoulder in comfort.

"I get that things are pretty rough right now, but I think you've got some important things to sort out before you go and blame Kim Jiwoong. He’s not the reason for your envy, but something tells me that you already knew that."

Hao had then left Hanbin to his contemplation, brows furrowed as he attempted to organize his thoughts.

He saw the flaw in his logic. Matthew dating Jiwoong didn’t mean he’d stop caring about Hanbin, it just meant that his love would be divided between the two of them. It’d just mean that Matthew’s love - romantic love - would be turned to Jiwoong. And Hanbin knew he should be happy about that. It was what he’d wanted, after all.

Or so he thought, because watching Matthew be lovey dovey with Jiwoong made Hanbin feel sick. It had quickly turned from a subtle queasiness to gut churning repulsion. A flurry of mental images, both real and imaginative, flooded his mind. Matthew going to Jiwoong’s home. Matthew hugging, cuddling Jiwoong. Matthew kissing Jiwoong. Matthew in Jiwoong’s bed—

Matthew, Jiwoong. Jiwoong, Matthew.

Jiwoong, Jiwoong, Jiwoong.

It should be me instead of Jiwoong.

The sudden interrupting thought forced the rest of Hanbin’s tumultuous musings to screech to a halt.

It should be me instead?

The mental images reworked themselves in Hanbin’s mind, and the vision of Matthew kissing him, instead of Jiwoong, engulfed him.

The vision just looked so right, with Matthew in Hanbin’s arms. Matthew didn’t need to find anyone else if he had Hanbin, and with a start Hanbin realized that the opposite was true as well.

Realization flooded Hanbin’s being and he slumped his form over the desk he sat at, lowering his head into his hands in despair.

Hanbin wasn’t stupid, he was able to piece together the puzzle quite easily. The pieces were right there before him: He hated the idea of Matthew dating someone else, he wanted Matthew to only look at him, to only hug and kiss him. The instinctive smile that appeared whenever he saw Matthew, the soft warmth that spread throughout his chest whenever Matthew smiled that carefree, vibrant smile at him— those feelings had not simply been the friendship Hanbin had brushed aside as.

Hanbin had feelings for Matthew.

The revelation nearly caused Hanbin to hurl right then and there. He hurriedly took his belongings from the desk and left the study hall. His breathing was heavy, body moving on pure instinct towards the direction of his apartment.

As he was speed walking down the halls, another thought materialized and had him changing his trajectory.

I need to tell Hao.

He figured that Hao had to have known something, as he was the one to point out the inconsistencies in Hanbin’s logic and question his true emotions towards Matthew. If he could tell Hao about this new development that came to him with the grace of a wrecking ball, then he’d be able to help him sort things out, help him to fix things.

Unfortunately, when Hanbin arrived at Hao’s dorm, the latter was nowhere to be found. The person to answer his frantic knocking was Hao’s roommate, Ricky, who greeted him with a silent and polite nod.

“I’m sorry, do you know where Hao is? I need to speak with him, it’s urgent.”

Ricky shook his head.

“No, I think he had something to do for his Enviro Club, he’s not gonna be back for hours.”

Hanbin’s shoulders sagged, and Ricky looked concerned enough to offer him a seat inside. Accepting the offer with a sense of defeat, Hanbin rested his head in his hands.

He was sitting on the dorm’s couch, to which Ricky sat next to him and tapped away at his phone. The blonde looked up at him briefly, and after a moment’s hesitation, asked:

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The question put Hanbin on edge, and he sank further into the couch. Weighing the odds and deciding that it could do no real harm, he asked Ricky a question in response.

“What would you do if you suddenly realized you had feelings— like, romantic feelings— for one of your friends?”

Ricky paused, considering the question. After figuring out how to articulate the words into Korean, in a fashion as blunt and apathetic as only Ricky could pull off, he replied.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I’m capable of liking anyone as much as I like myself.”

The questionable response had Hanbin chuckling tiredly, and he looked at Ricky with fondness.

“Yeah, I guess that checks out. But… what do you think I should do?”

“Hmm, that depends. Is this about Matthew?”

Hanbin's eyes went wide at both the accuracy and abruptness of Ricky's question. Jesus Christ, had it been that obvious from the beginning?

"How did you know?"

Ricky shrugged.

“Just figured that it’d happen at some point. You two are always making eyes at each other when you think the other isn’t looking.”

Hanbin felt the heat creep up his face and denial was on the tip of his tongue, but he reigned it in when Ricky regarded him passively.

He leaned back heavily against the couch.

“I just— don’t know how to approach him, now that I know these feelings exist.”

“You’re best friends, shouldn’t communication be your strong suit? You don’t have to treat him any differently.”

Hanbin thought about it for a moment. “But, I can't just pretend that these feelings don't exist…”

Ricky’s impeccably sculpted eyebrows raised.

"How big are these feelings, really? Are they enough to sacrifice your friendship for?"

A frown worked its way into Hanbin’s face as he contemplated. In all honesty, he didn't know the answer to that question. Were these feelings strong enough for Hanbin to possibly destroy the best friendship he'd ever had?

"Well, it's not like our friendship is in a really good place, anyway." Hanbin said dolefully, picking at a hangnail on his finger that was bothering him.

Ricky clapped him on the back, shaking his head in exasperation.

"Don't you get it, man? If your friendship is busted, how are you gonna expect a relationship between the two of you to work out? You don't have to confess to him on the spot— which, for the record, is an awful idea— you just have to make up with him. Be friends first, then decide together if you want to be something more. Why throw a pity party when you can still do something about it?"

That was the only time Hanbin had ever seen Ricky express such fervent emotion, as usually the blonde would be in a perpetual state of nonchalance. Though the delivery was a bit shaky, Hanbin understood him well and nodded his head.

“Thanks, Ricky, that was surprisingly mature of you.”

Ricky rolled his eyes, reverting back to his usual self as quickly as it had disappeared.

“Oh, please. I think you should go look for that boyf— best friend of yours. And by the way, Hyung, respectfully— if things end up working out, I think I deserve monetary compensation for this pep talk.”

Hanbin’s shoulders shook as he fought to hold in the laughter.

When he’d first met Ricky, the younger had been so intimidating that Hanbin had unconsciously chosen to greet him formally whenever they spoke. He realized, now, that the man was quite amusing in his own way.

He thanked Ricky again for the conversation at the door on his way out, and Ricky shook his head.

“Nah, don’t mention it. I just hope you talk things out with Matthew— he hasn’t been looking too hot lately.”

Hanbin’s smile dimmed only slightly at Ricky’s comment.

With any luck, he’ll be able to change that soon.

Chapter Text

Hanbin left Hao’s dorm feeling considerably lighter than when he’d entered, but the stubborn feeling of uneasiness that’d been weighing him down refused to leave. 

Okay, he thought, the first step is to make up with Matthew. That was easier said than done, though, since Matthew had continued to dodge any advance of reconciliation that Hanbin attempted. He hadn’t replied to the messages Hanbin sent him that morning, and Hanbin hadn’t seen him in person for over a week. Getting a hold of him now, seemed next to impossible.

I have to try, anyway.

Since he was in the dorm establishment predominantly occupied by the exchange students, Hanbin decided that he’d stop by Matthew’s dorm and surprise the younger— then, he’d have no way of running from Hanbin. Matthew’s dorm was only a few floors higher than Hao’s, so Hanbin boarded the elevator upwards hopefully and clicked the button to Matthew’s floor a few times, just for good measure. 

The bell on the elevator dinged as each floor passed by.

As Hanbin was walking out of the elevator, he caught a glimpse of a short, brown haired man with thick headphones on, carrying a trash bag along the other side of the hallway. His heart jumped; he couldn't believe his luck.

It was Matthew, it had to be.

Hanbin’s legs moved forward on impulse and he rushed in Matthew’s direction, grabbing his wrist and making him drop the trash bag. Matthew started, shouting loudly as he whipped around to see who it was. He removed his headphones hastily, and met the gaze of Hanbin.

“I’ve finally caught you.”

Matthew was pretty sure that he was on the verge of a panic attack. Not only had he been caught unaware in a place he thought would be undisturbed, but he’d been caught by Sung Hanbin, the one person he didn’t want to be caught by.

Hanbin sighed in relief, but didn’t loosen his grip on Matthew’s hands, which were getting clammier as each second passed. He tried to pull away, but Hanbin only looked him in the eyes with an expression of determination and held him tighter.

“Please let go,” Matthew whispered, and the unease must have shown on his face when Hanbin minutely loosened his grip, looking a bit hurt.

“Only if you promise not to run away.”

“I… I won’t.”

"Promise me!"

"Okay, I promise!"

Another sigh. "Good."

Matthew looked away, slinging his headphones around his neck and staring down at his shoes.

"Hyung," he started, sounding defeated,

"What are you doing here?"

Indignation rose in Hanbin's chest, and he looked at Matthew incredulously.

"What do you mean, 'What are you doing here?' Seok Matthew, you've been ignoring me for days!"

Hanbin looked like he wanted to say something more, but didn’t know where to start. Matthew’s own thoughts were going a mile a minute, yet in typical Matthew fashion, he decided to run his mouth when he didn’t know what else to do.

“I didn’t tell anybody about what I saw last week, don’t worry. Congrats on your relationship by the way, Hyung!”

Though it hurt Matthew to do so, he looked into Hanbin’s eyes and tried to muster the most genuine looking smile he could. Hanbin’s frown only seemed to deepen at that, and he grabbed Matthew’s hands.

“It’s exactly that— Seokmae-yah, me and Hao are not dating.”

Matthew's smile fell and his breath quickened. He wasn’t expecting that.

“Ah, is that the case? Then—”

“ Matthew, we weren’t hooking up either. Hao and I are just friends!” Hanbin let out in exasperation, before Matthew even began to try implicating such a thing.

The younger recoiled a bit at his words, and the elder’s eyes softened as he noticed his tone. He spoke to Matthew in a softer way, as if he was coaxing a spooked child. Matthew didn’t know whether to hate it or yearn for Hanbin’s kindness more.

Hanbin looked defeated as he faced Matthew. 

“Can we go to your place and talk things out? Please?”

Matthew was never able to refuse Hanbin, that much had always been obvious. Even if the impending conversation was something that Matthew had childishly been avoiding for a while, leave it to Hanbin to always make the first attempts at reconciliation.

What does he need to reconcile for, though? The only reason they were in this situation now was because Matthew couldn't reign in his feelings and let them fester for long enough to ruin their relationship. It's always been his greatest fear, and he had let it happen at the slight thought of Hanbin falling for someone else.

He was just pathetic, wasn’t he?

Matthew was taken out of his self deprecating reverie by Hanbin, who pulled him by the arm in the direction of his dorm. The front door was left open, as he’d intended to take 30 seconds to take out the trash before returning. There was a grave silence when Hanbin pushed in the door and led the two of them inside, Matthew’s adrenaline increasing as the door shut with a soft click.

They walked into the living room and met with Jay who was sitting on the couch, a laptop balanced on his knees. Seeing the two, Jay looked up with a friendly smile and opened his mouth to greet them, but stopped himself when he took a look at Hanbin’s serious face and Matthew’s anxiety ridden expression behind him.

Jay let his mouth open and close for a few moments, trying to analyze the situation and decide on what to say that could neutralize the tense atmosphere that had suddenly materialized. In the end he gave up, closing the computer and setting it aside.

“Ah, the weather is pretty nice today, I think I’m gonna go take a walk! I’ll leave you guys to it.”

Matthew tried his best to stare down a retreating Jay who was purposely avoiding eye contact. He could see through the corner of his eye, Jay pulling out his phone, typing furiously away into a group chat as he walked out the door. Though he felt betrayed, Matthew knew that Jay, along with their other roommates, had secretly been wishing for a resolution to Matthew’s inner conflicts. They could only stay quiet and support Matthew for so long before it reached a point of intervention.

The door shutting as Jay left felt like the foreshadowing of Matthew’s impending heartbreak (the re-run), and then he was left with Sung Hanbin.

The two sat opposite to each other on the living room’s pair of couches, Hanbin wringing his hands as Matthew stared at the floor in silence.

They sat like that for a while, before Matthew gathered the courage to turn his face up and say, 

“I’m sorry.”

Hanbin looked like he was about to say something, but Matthew barreled through, before he lost the nerve.

“I’m really, really sorry, Hyung. I’m sorry for ghosting you all that time— you didn’t deserve that. I had a hard time… adjusting after finding out about your relationship with Hao hyung. I was scared it’d affect our friendship, and I needed some time to process it, but I guess I ruined everything anyway.”

He tried to keep his voice from breaking at the end yet it did anyway, and Matthew saw the way Hanbin’s own eyes misted over.

“Seokmae,” he whispered, as if anything louder would cause Matthew to run away again.

The way he said it spoke of a man who was tired of pretense, tired of Matthew’s antics. Matthew felt his throat clog.

When he looked at Hanbin, truly looked at Hanbin, he could see things that he hadn’t before. It’d been a week since he faced Hanbin properly, and what he saw made a small pool of dismay form in his gut.

Hanbin had more makeup on. Of course, it was normal for their peers to put some form of makeup on to maintain appearances, but Matthew could tell at one glance that Hanbin was wearing much more than usual. Taking a longer look gave him the answer as to why: the dark shadows under Hanbin eyes were just barely concealed by the powder and foundation. His eyes themselves looked dimmer, not the usual happy squint they were set to.

Something in Matthew told him that it was his fault, his fault for making his Hyung feel this way and for causing him trouble.

Those thoughts were whisked away when Hanbin stood up and wrapped his arms around Matthew, engulfing him into an embrace that surprised him out of his stupor.

Hanbin sighed as he relaxed himself against Matthew.

“I missed you, Matthew.”

Matthew had expected a stern talking-to and the execution of their friendship, so once he had registered Hanbin’s arms around him, he nearly melted into the elder with a shaky sigh.

“I missed you too, Hyung.”

“Why did you avoid me? Where did my best friend go? Matthew-ah, you know that when something’s bothering you, you have to tell me. You’re not allowed to keep it all in by yourself.”

Hanbin held him tighter, before releasing him from his grip.

Matthew shook his head.

“I know, I was being stupid. I guess I was just a bit jealous that my best friend found someone else. I promise I’m over it, though.”

The look Hanbin gave Matthew was enough to melt him into a puddle again.

“Matthew, your feelings are valid. I’m not blaming you for being upset, just please don’t ignore me again? I don’t think I can take any more of this.”

Matthew nodded with a wet sniffle, listening as Hanbin continued.

“Whenever you need something, I’ll always be there for you. What you saw at my place… it was a total misunderstanding. Some tea spilled on Hao, and I helped him remove his shirt. That was all that happened, Hao and I have never and will never be romantically involved. I tried to tell you that, but you didn’t answer any of my calls afterward.”

As the words sunk in, Matthew’s eyes grew wide in horror. It was pindrop quiet as he processed the words. Oh my god. He’d made a total fool of himself and compromised their friendship over a misunderstanding? He buried his face into his hands, groaning as he pleaded, “I’m really sorry about this, Hyung.”

Hanbin let out a dry chuckle, though there was little humor to it, and rested a hand on Matthew’s shoulder. Matthew wished the ground would cave in and swallow him whole. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to look Hanbin in the eyes again.

“Matthew, please don’t beat yourself up over this. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to reach out, and didn’t notice your upset sooner. Anyhow, I think communication is something we both need to improve on. Can we please move past this? I want… my best friend back.”

Matthew felt some of the tension leave his body and this time, he initiated the hug between the two. Hanbin accepted graciously. He didn’t let it bother him that Hanbin had effectively friendzoned him, at the moment he was just happy that Hanbin even wanted to stay friends in the first place.

By some miracle Hanbin hadn’t sussed out Matthew’s true feelings for him and the real reason as to why Matthew had pulled away, and Matthew took that as a sign that maybe that’s how things were supposed to be. If he could remain as Hanbin’s friend despite the fiasco he had created, he’d be happy with that.

Right now, he wanted to push away any negative thoughts in favor of cherishing the hug. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh, comforting scent of Hanbin.

When they pulled away, Matthew felt significantly better and by the looks of it, so did Hanbin. The elder smiled at him, grabbing his hand.

“As a commemoration of our reconciliation, I think we should get something to eat. Come on, lunch is on me.”

And Matthew should have expected that things were too good to be true, because before he’d done so much as gotten a word out, Haruto took that exact moment to barge in through the front door. A clattering noise came from the entrance, and Matthew’s roommate waltzed in with a bunch of shopping bags in his hands, tailed by both friends Woonggi and Seowon, who were also carrying a litany of bags with a strength that could only be described as inhuman. 

The trio paused at the living room and zeroed in on Matthew and Hanbin’s clasped hands, a knowing grin creeping onto Haruto’s face as he looked at Matthew with glee. Woonggi was the first to speak up.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

Nope. That was enough humiliation for Matthew for today. The last thing he needed was for his friends to embarrass him in front of Hanbin further, especially when he had just made up with the elder.

“Nothing! Me and Hyung were just going to get lunch. We’ll catch you later.”

Matthew pushed Hanbin out of the dorm as quickly as he could, ignoring the catcalls and provocative whistles being thrown at their backs. Once they were out of earshot, Matthew again apologized to a pink faced Hanbin, who reassured him that everything was fine.

“So,” Matthew started, eager to change the topic,

“What do you think about bulgogi? I know a place nearby, the food is great for the price. I’m certain you’ll love it.”

The smile Hanbin returned to him made his heart skip a beat, to which Matthew internally scolded himself.

“That sounds like a great idea, Seokmae. I’m sure I will.”

Chapter Text

Things were good again, thought Hanbin as he walked with Matthew, hand in hand through the entrance of their campus.

They were back to their usual schedule, meeting up before classes and talking about anything that came to mind. Hanbin felt happy that things between him and Matthew resembled their normal routine, but in the back of Hanbin’s mind, he couldn’t help but feel like things could never truly be normal anymore.

He’d tried to convince himself to be happy with the way things were, but it proved to be more difficult when he and Matthew were not alone.

Case in point: Kim Jiwoong materializing out of nowhere to greet Matthew, who let go of Hanbin’s hand to go and hug the elder.

Hanbin smiled through the ordeal. Witnessing Matthew’s affection for Jiwoong was considerably more difficult than it had been the previous times before. Now that Hanbin knew his feelings toward Matthew were more than just platonic, the ugly feeling of jealousy only seemed to spur his ire on. He stood off to the side while the other two hugged each other, certain that he was the third wheel.

Coughing discreetly to call attention to himself and pull the two away from each other, Hanbin greeted Jiwoong.

“Hello, Sunbae. Matthew and I were just getting to class.”

Matthew, seeming to remember the reason why the two were even there in the first place, nodded enthusiastically, patting Jiwoong on the chest.

“Ah, that’s right. We’ll see you later, Hyung!” 

Jiwoong simply smiled and nodded, giving Matthew a look which Hanbin could only describe as endearing before turning his attention to Hanbin. He didn’t say anything, and had the signature Kim Jiwoong smile pasted onto his face, but Hanbin could feel his eyes bearing into Hanbin’s own with intensity.

He looked away inadvertently, and Jiwoong broke eye contact with him.

“See you later. Matthew-ah, remember to call me when you finish your classes. I’ll pick you up.”

It took a lot to keep the smile on Hanbin’s face, and he relaxed almost imperceptibly when Jiwoong walked away and Matthew turned his attention back onto him.

This was a problem.

Hanbin knew that Matthew would never confess his feelings for Hanbin, as the younger believed that Hanbin didn’t like him back. Hanbin himself didn’t realize that he liked Matthew back, until very recently. With this new development, though, Hanbin believed that there was an opportunity that maybe— just maybe— things could work out. That he and Matthew could potentially take the next step in their relationship.

He had believed that, but the more time he spent with Matthew, the more his doubts increased. Yes, Matthew still smiled at him the way he did before, with such unbridled adoration and joy, but now, Hanbin realized, Matthew also smiled at other people— particularly Kim Jiwoong, in that way. 

What made Hanbin special? 

Hanbin had given no indication of his feelings prior, so what if Matthew had given up or even worse, turned his romantic feelings to someone else? Would Hanbin have to watch Matthew fall in love with Kim Jiwoong and be left in the dust? Could he take that kind of rejection?

He didn’t know how to address his feelings with Matthew, as the younger didn't even know that such feelings existed. Hanbin didn’t know how long he could stew in his own envy before it became evident to Matthew and the younger started asking questions.

Hanbin wanted to strengthen their friendship before revealing his true feelings. He wanted to be sure of them, since he didn’t want to give Matthew false hope and break his heart even more. Setting aside those feelings, the last thing Hanbin wanted to do was hurt Matthew.

Over the next few days, Hanbin only felt his feelings grow stronger. He didn’t know if these feelings were as strong as Matthew’s own or could be considered love, but they were real, more real than Hanbin had initially given them credit for.

The separation from Matthew had made Hanbin yearn, but the yearning he experienced when Matthew was right in front of him, yet so far away, was insurmountable.

Hanbin adored the way Matthew smiled— when he truly smiled, in all its wide and beatific glory. His entire face would scrunch up to match it in a way that Hanbin’s own face couldn’t, and Matthew’s laughter when Hanbin made some lame joke made his heart swell.

He also loved the way Matthew was in his softer moments; how Matthew would turn shy at praise, how he would always worry over Hanbin’s wellbeing and mental health. Matthew was an unabashedly emotional person, and Hanbin found that to be his most precious trait.

Seeing Matthew in such a way was not new to him, as it was normal to have occasional thoughts of admiration for someone you’ve known for so long, but it was the new reverence with which Hanbin regarded Matthew that stole his breath away.

The little things about Matthew captivated him, and Hanbin couldn’t help but feel small when he realized that others loved Matthew for the exact same reasons, that they were just as— if not even more— deserving of Matthew’s love than Hanbin was.

Hanbin wasn’t a particularly patient person, with the idea of Matthew’s feelings looming over him like the plague, but he figured that he’d have to come up with a solid plan before making any rash decisions. Though their relationship was good from the outside looking in, Hanbin knew that the connection between him and Matthew was still fragile and he didn’t want to do anything to ruin it.

It seemed that someone else didn’t quite have the same sentiment, since a message popped up on Hanbin’s phone while he was in the lecture hall, the intention inconspicuous.

It was from Jiwoong: Meet me at the pet cafe near the campus after classes, I have something to discuss with you.

Hanbin’s hackles rose, though he tried to give Jiwoong the benefit of the doubt. Jiwoong never messaged him unless it was something about Yujin’s tutoring sessions, so this message popping up out of the blue could have been just that. But the curt tone of the words, coupled with the fact that Jiwoong would not need to meet up with Hanbin over something like that, made Hanbin feel as though this was a completely different conversation to be had.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed heavily, envisioning that big, but incomprehensibly cold smile that Jiwoong was fond of giving Hanbin, and the latter groaned, wondering what he’d done wrong to prompt this kind of meeting.

Hanbin couldn’t stop the way his shoulders tensed up when he was having lunch with Matthew, nodding along with the younger’s chatter and breath hitching when he saw a tall figure approach them.

Jiwoong set his things down and sat next to Matthew, slinging an arm over his shoulder before greeting the two, along with a few of their nearby friends. He looked straight at Hanbin as he did so, seemingly flexing his bicep against Matthew’s shoulder before making a comment that would lead Matthew to initiate their banter.

Hanbin gripped his fork harder, trying to keep his face impassive as he watched the interaction. JIwoong seemed to be very aware of what he was doing, Hanbin’s only question was: why?

Jiwoong spoke a bit with Hanbin, showing no indication that he’d sent a message to Hanbin earlier, or that they’d even be seeing each other at all after the university finished its instructional periods. Because Jiwoong mentioned nothing, Hanbin did the same, making a move to speak with Gyuvin who was sitting beside him.

When the day came to a close, Hanbin made his way over to the cafe Jiwoong mentioned in his text. It was more busy than usual, since the rush of students coming in after their classes was prime time for business. He spotted Jiwoong through one of the large windows, scrolling through his phone as he sat there, waiting for Hanbin. He had a large face mask on, and the furrow of his defined brows confirmed to Hanbin that it was him.

When he entered the cafe, Hanbin spotted a small, white cat approaching, rubbing its head against the side of his jeans as it looked up at him with big eyes, begging for attention.

Hanbin chuckled, cooing at the cat and lifting it into his arms as he approached Jiwoong's table. The latter’s eyes flickered in recognition when Hanbin sat down in the empty seat across from him, and they greeted each other. Hanbin could immediately tell that this conversation was going to be a stunted one, and he eased the cat back onto the floor to wander around.

“Do you want to order something?” Jiwoong asked him, and though Hanbin was in the process of politely declining, Jiwoong waved his hand and flagged down a waiter nearby, anyway.

The waiter looked vaguely familiar, possibly one of Matthew’s friends that Hanbin had met on the off chance, but when he walked to stand in front of their table, he regarded Jiwoong familiarly.

“Oh, Hyung! You’re back again today?”

It looked like Jiwoong smiled, as Hanbin could only see the crease of Jiwoong’s eyes at the question, and then replied in a voice Hanbin had certainly never heard before.

“Of course I am, you can’t keep me away for too long~ Did you make a decision about Friday night?”

Hanbin tried to hide the way his face twisted, and the waiter blushed before chuckling.

“Yeah, it turns out I’m free. I can’t wait.”

Jiwoong’s hand reached out to catch the waiter’s, and the latter looked at their entwined hands shyly.

“Me either.”

Were these two… flirting?

Hanbin felt as though he was intruding on something he shouldn’t have, and waited till the two were done with their conversation before making his presence known with a loud, ‘ahem.’

He got the attention of both men, the waiter’s face turning red and Jiwoong shooting him a look.

“Right, sorry. What would you guys like to order?” The waiter gathered himself and asked with a customer service smile.

They put in their orders, and when they were left alone again, Hanbin faced Jiwoong, affronted. He didn’t like the way Jiwoong felt about Matthew— after all, it affected his own hopes of a relationship, but he couldn’t believe the older man had the audacity to go behind Matthew’s back like that and flirt with others. Even if he couldn’t have Matthew himself, it’d be over Hanbin’s dead body that Matthew ended up with a man who couldn’t treat him with the respect he deserved.

The words left his mouth before he could stop himself.

“How could you?” They were acidic, in a tone Hanbin had never used with anyone before, least of all Jiwoong.

Jiwoong’s eyebrows shot up, and he retorted back defensively.

“How could I, what?”

“Betray Matthew like that! I thought you genuinely liked him, but you’re here flirting with other people and taking them out on dates? Are you just playing around with him?” Against all  his efforts, Hanbin’s voice rose as he continued.

At his words, Jiwoong’s face morphed from indignation, to confusion, and settled at realization. He held a hand out to Hanbin, signaling for the latter to calm down.

Hanbin couldn’t believe the audacity.

“You think… that I like Matthew?”

“Don’t you? You’re always hanging off of him and I can’t go a day without anybody pointing it out.”

Jiwoong’s eyes were wide open, and he simply watched as Hanbin unraveled like a tightly wrapped cord. Hanbin could feel heat rise into his own cheeks, but was taken out of his anger-filled-reverie when Jiwoong held back a snort.

Was he being serious right now?

Jiwoong shook his head, and in Hanbin’s stupor, began to explain before the younger could get fired up again.

“Sung Hanbin, you’ve got it all wrong. I don’t have feelings for Matthew— I never did! He’s like my little brother, and he knows that.”

Of all the things he expected Jiwoong to say, that was certainly not one of them. He’d expected lies, excuses, maybe even a ‘Don’t tell Matthew about this,’ but the idea that Jiwoong didn’t even like Matthew in the first place threw him in for a loop.

“You… You don’t?”

“No, man! Matthew’s known from the beginning that I like someone else.”

“You two are just friends?”

Jiwoong looked at him incredulously, another laugh bubbling up as he watched Hanbin process the information in his head.

“Jeez, man, you’ve got it bad.”

Embarrassment flooded through Hanbin, and he averted his eyes.

“What do you mean by that?”

Jiwoong paused for a moment, assessing him.

“You know, that’s actually why I called you here in the first place.”

Hanbin gave him a quizzical look, to which Jiwoong returned with a deadpan stare.

“I know that you like Matthew.”

It felt like deja vu to Hanbin, who’s mouth opened to deflect the statement, before thinking better of it and dropping his head onto the tabletop, his arms covering him up.

He groaned.

“Oh, don’t give me none of that,” Jiwoong shot back, and Hanbin could basically hear the eyeroll in his voice.

“I wanted to confirm it, and tell you to treat Matthew properly. I can see the way you look at each other— it gives me the heebie-jeebies. And I know that you’ve been friends with him longer than I have, but I just want to make sure. I don’t want another heartbroken Matthew to come crying into my arms because his Hanbin-hyung made him feel sad again.”

Hanbin was once again in a state of shock and conflict. 

Kim Jiwoong didn’t like Matthew. He knew Hanbin liked Matthew, and vice versa. And… he met up with Hanbin to give him the Big Brother Talk?

Hanbin didn’t know whether to laugh, or to cry.

Chapter Text

“You want to take him out on a date.” 

The sentence came out as a statement, rather than a question. Hanbin nodded his head in response, and watched as Jiwoong sipped his drink, staring at him scrutinizingly from over the rim of his cup.

“And you want my help.” Another pause.

Hanbin sighed, cheeks heating up.

“Yes! Yes, that is what I said. Will you? Help me, that is.”

“Hm. I am tempted to, but that depends entirely on what you have in mind.”

“Hyung, where are we going?” Matthew asked as Hanbin led a clueless Matthew, hand in hand towards the movie theater down the street. Matthew’s eyes lit up at the sight, and Hanbin internally sighed in relief. 

During his talk with Jiwoong, the elder had recalled Matthew mentioning a new Canadian film he wanted to see, so Hanbin had spent the rest of the evening researching different theaters where screenings of it took place. It took quite a bit of time, but eventually he was able to secure two tickets to see it. The movie’s premise was interesting enough, about some spy that needs to keep his two identities secret, so Hanbin filled with excitement at the thought of getting to watch it with Matthew.

Digging into his pockets as they entered the theater, Hanbin smirked triumphantly.

“I figured we’d spend the day together? I have the whole itinerary planned out!”

Matthew gasped at the sight of the tickets, breaking into a grin when he looked back up at Hanbin.

“Really, Hyung? That’s awesome, I can’t wait!”

They proceeded to the ticket booth, verifying their purchase to the clerk before making their way to the designated viewing room. The lights had already dimmed when they took their seats, and the two made jokes with each other as the trailers played. 

As subtle as he could, Hanbin linked their hands together on the barrier between their separate seats, and despite the darkness, he was still able to make out Matthew’s heavy blush.

Things were going according to plan.

In his mind, Hanbin tried to convince himself that this was not a date, that Matthew didn’t see this as a date, no matter how much each of them blushed or how romantic the situation felt. He desperately wanted it to be one, but insecurity took over when he thought about how Matthew felt.

He’s acting pretty normal with me now, though, Hanbin thought as he studied Matthew’s illuminated features in the otherwise dim room. Hanbin hoped for this ‘date’ to be a purely platonic one, to rebuild his relationship with Matthew properly before proposing the idea of being his boyfriend. He wanted Matthew to see his feelings as genuine, rather than simply an abrupt, consolatory response to Matthew’s own feelings.

The trailers continued to play, and Hanbin ran the plan through his mind again. Step one: Movie. Step two: Matthew’s favorite restaurant. Step three: take him home.

Matthew noticed him spacing out, and tapped his shoulder to regain his attention.

“Hyung, the movie’s starting.”

Hanbin broke out of his contemplation, huffing in amusement as he turned his eyes to the large screen.

“It is. I can’t wait to see where this goes.”

As far as the theater experience went, Hanbin supposed that step one had been a success. He’d barely understood the dialogue between the characters, but was able to infer what was going on based off of the visuals. It didn’t matter, though, because Matthew seemed to be having fun. Hanbin’s heart warmed as he thought back to how giggly the two were during the screening, Matthew explaining the scene in hushed laughs and Hanbin spurring him on with his own comments. All in all, a great experience.

Step two had also gone well, the two eating heartily and talking about anything that came to mind at the restaurant of Matthew’s choice. The conversation was easy and Hanbin had only then realized how much Matthew had changed since they’d drifted apart. It made him uncomfortable, not knowing everything about this person he thought he knew everything about, but Hanbin would be damned if he wasn’t going to learn.

By the time they’d left the restaurant (which Hanbin had paid for, to Matthew’s protest and Hanbin’s persistence), the sky was dark purple as it transitioned from evening to night. The two decided to take the leisurely walk back to their homes, where they’d go to Matthew’s apartment before Hanbin himself went home.

The soft wind blowing down the streets soothed their backs as they walked aimlessly after such a hearty meal. Not too long after, Hanbin saw Matthew pause next to a vacant playground. Matthew turned to him with a mischievous look in his eyes, and Hanbin’s own eyebrow raised as a smirk instinctively grew on his face.

It was an unspoken conversation conveyed with only their eyes, and they both rushed over to the swingset that was located at the edge of the park. Since it had gotten so late, the entire place was barren, illuminated only by the street lamp nearby. It was quiet, calm in a way that made Hanbin feel satisfied with the way the day had ended. He felt like he could stay there, with Matthew, forever.

They lazed around for a bit, feet pushing lightly off the ground to propel the swing as Matthew told Hanbin about the antics of their friends.

The younger looked so happy, and Hanbin caught himself with the way he listened to Matthew with such rapture and captivation. Matthew could be talking about the most inconsequential thing and Hanbin would smile and nod as if he’d created the world itself.

It brought a claustrophobic feeling to Hanbin’s chest, when he realized just how hard he’d been pining and how he had to keep such feelings from Matthew. In that moment, Hanbin had to use every cell in his body to hold himself back from just kissing Matthew right then and there. He couldn’t do that, that wasn’t the plan— he wanted to do things with Matthew the right way, and doing anything rash at the moment would ruin everything he’d worked to restore. He’d have to confess his own feelings first—

“I know that you’re in love with me.”

The words that fell out of his mouth before his brain had caught up were enough to almost send him into an aneurysm. 

Matthew’s rambling cut off abruptly, mid sentence as the words hung between them. Aghast, he faced Hanbin with a look that quickly consumed itself in panic when the meaning of Hanbin’s words registered. 

Said man was wearing the same face of shock, barely able to believe the words he’d mumbled out accidentally. That wasn’t what he was supposed to say— he was going to lead up to his own feelings, but the words he’d uttered just now—

Silence.

Matthew’s swing creaked to a stop as his feet settled against the ground, and he backed away from Hanbin, looking spooked.

Hanbin’s heart clenched at the distance the younger man created, and he approached Matthew, looking as apologetic as he could despite the inner spite he felt for himself at the moment.

“Matthew, wait. I—” 

Matthew looked stricken, and when he spoke up, the words clogged in his throat.

"Did you… did you know all along?"

It was barely a whisper, and Hanbin's subsequent silence spoke louder than any words could.

Matthew's face crumbled at the realization, and the telltale beginning of tears presented itself in the reddening of his nose.

"Hyung, I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

"No, don't—"

"I am so, so sorry. I can't—" His voice broke off as he shook his head vehemently. 

Hanbin was trying to get closer to him, taking soft steps as Matthew broke down. It pained Hanbin, to see someone he cared so deeply about be reduced to a mouse in a trap. A trap he'd created, and led him right into.

"Matthew, wait—"

He didn't. Matthew's head shook, no no no no no, and he took off down the empty street, Hanbin himself stuck in pace as he tried to grasp what had just happened.

When he came to his senses, a single thought overtook his mind: Matthew had run away from him. Again.

Hanbin felt the desperation rise in him when he thought about what this entailed; Matthew's ghosting of him would be a hundred times worse, he'd never speak to Hanbin again, Hanbin wouldn't be able to honestly express his feelings, and Kim Jiwoong would undoubtedly kill him.

Matthew's humiliation, coupled with Hanbin's guilt, would destroy their relationship if Hanbin couldn't fix this.

Matthew had run from him again, but this time, Hanbin knew better. He wouldn't let the misunderstanding simply sit there and fester, he had to explain things to Matthew right away, instead of deciding that Matthew didn't need him. He couldn't, wouldn't lose Matthew over this, not when things had been going so well. Not when his hope had grown too large to be stamped out so easily.

Tears of frustration managed to escape despite his best efforts, a few running down to his chin, but he wiped them away quickly as he ran after Matthew. He ran as fast as he could, not stopping to take a break even when his lungs felt as though they'd been set on fire. Even if things ended up being irreparably damaged, even if Matthew never trusted Hanbin again, Hanbin had to try.

Chapter Text

Matthew couldn’t believe it.

He thought that things were going so well, that things had gotten better—

This whole time, he’d known?

He could barely wrap his head around it, Hanbin had known all along about Matthew’s feelings? How did he know? When did he find out? Why didn’t he say anything all this time? Why had he chosen today to do it?

Matthew didn’t know what to feel. He was blindsided— what would happen to the two of them now? Was Hanbin finally fed up with his feelings, and wanted to make it clear to Matthew? Did he not feel the same way, and organized the whole day only to give Matthew that killing blow at the very end?

The burning in Matthew’s eyes increased, so much so that as he rushed down the halls of the dorm building, he didn’t see the figure passing by him. They bumped into each other head on, a yelp coming from the other man as they both crashed onto the ground.

Matthew, in his adrenaline and fear filled haste, shot up, grabbing the other man’s hand to quickly help him up.

“I’m sorry, I’m very sorry—”

A hand fell on his shoulder, and he finally looked up to see the other.

Hao looked back at him, concern overtaking his features as he took in the sight of the distraught Matthew. Hao had been planning to head to the grocery store nearby, when he came into contact with Matthew. The distraught look of the younger instantly made Hao’s hackles rise, and he whipped his head around trying to find the reason for the younger’s despair.

“Matthew-ah, are you okay?” He asked, worried.

Matthew’s heart dropped when he realized that he’d bumped into his Hao-hyung of all people, and the humiliation he felt at the moment worsened, the tears being so close to falling.

He couldn’t do this right now, he needed to find somewhere quiet. He didn’t think he could face anyone right now. Matthew shook his head, pulling away from Hao’s hands and speed walking towards his dorm with his head down.

Hao made a surprised noise, as if he was going to say something more, but was stopped right as Hanbin barreled past him, chasing after Matthew.

“Seok Matthew!”

At the yell, the said man looked back to find Hanbin chasing him, eyes going owlishly wide and as he started to run, the other trying his best to catch up.

Hao stumbled, eyes wide in incredulity, as he watched the two whiz past him. Confused, he scratched his head as he contemplated on what could’ve happened. He followed behind them belatedly, running through the possibilities in his mind. What conversation would’ve caused Matthew to run out on Hanbin like that, face red in embarrassment? What had Hanbin said? Then, it struck him.

Oh, they’re going to have that conversation.

Luckily for Matthew, he’d been able to close the door right before Hanbin had the chance to enter, snapping the locks shut as the frantic knocking started.

“Seokmae! Open the door!”

Matthew shook his head despite knowing that Hanbin couldn’t see it, sinking to the floor at the foot of the door and curling in on himself. The knocks became louder, but Matthew just buried his head in his hands. 

This whole time, Hanbin had known about Matthew’s feelings, and hadn’t said anything. Why had he done that? Did he not care about them, or worse, was this a purposefully cruel joke on Matthew?

Matthew denounced the thought as soon as it passed through his mind. Hanbin would never. He wasn’t the type of person to do something so senselessly mean to Matthew, his best friend and companion for so many years. It was more likely that Hanbin ignored Matthew’s embarrassing feelings for his own benefit. But then, that brought up the question as to why Hanbin had decided to expose Matthew tonight, of all nights?

He just couldn’t figure it out.

Matthew was broken out of his reverie when he realized that the knocking and shouting from Hanbin had stopped, instead replaced by an eerie silence indicating to Matthew that the elder had likely given up.

Just as he’d risen to his feet, a softer knock sounded from the other side.

“Matthew-ah,” Came Hao’s soft voice.

“Please open the door, We— I’m getting worried.”

At the tone of Hao’s request, Matthew felt himself quickly give in, letting his shoulders fall and slowly unlocking the door. He didn’t want to speak to Hao at the moment, but listening to him now, head on, was better than letting the elder’s worries fester overnight. He knew he couldn’t avoid things forever, and he didn’t want his Hao-hyung to worry about getting caught in the crossfire.

The door opened to a troubled Hao, who had his arms crossed over his chest and a red faced Hanbin right behind him, who was wiping his eyes with his sleeve in the process of drying his tears.

When Hanbin’s eyes looked up to meet Matthew’s, the younger had an errant thought about how the elder looked like a puppy who’d been left out in the rain, soaked in sweat and face pleading. Inappropriate, considering the fact that Matthew was the cause of the look.

Without a word, Hanbin pushed himself in before Matthew shut the door in his face again, hurtling towards Matthew who’d taken a step back to open it.

Hao looked conflicted, wondering to himself if the situation needed his intervention, but all thoughts of entering the apartment were dashed when Hanbin suddenly pulled Matthew up against him in a crushing hug, shouting in a single breath, 

“Seokmae, if you hadn’t run away, you’d know that I really, really like you, too!”

Then, right in front of Hao and any other poor soul wandering the hallways that night, Hanbin leaned forward to press his lips against Matthew, sealing the younger’s sound of surprise with the sudden kiss.

Yeah, I’m definitely not needed here, Hao thought sarcastically to himself despite the dramatic scene before him, shaking his head at the idea of even thinking about trying to interfere in whatever this was.

He closed the door in front of him, stepping away as quietly as possible to let the duo air out their grievances privately, and silently cheering them on. At least, now, he got confirmation as to how Hanbin had processed his feelings, and could only wish the two luck from there.

He texted the hubaes in their friend group out for dinner, making sure that all of Matthew’s roommates were out of the apartment and wouldn’t be returning for at least a few hours. A premature celebration, as Hao thought of it, for the two idiots who constantly danced around each other to finally make things official.

Hao only hoped that Hanbin didn’t manage to screw things up, again.

Matthew didn’t kiss back, seeing as he'd barely registered the fact that he’d been kissed by the man he’d been in love with for years at this point. He instead stood stock still, frozen in place as Hanbin awkwardly kissed him for a good 15 seconds before pulling away.

The words lodged in Matthew’s throat, starting with ‘What the hell was that?’, but Hanbin once again beat him to it. 

“Oh gosh, Seokmae I’m sorry. I didn’t ask before doing that, or anything— sorry, I’m sorry.” He sputtered, face turning impossibly redder as Matthew just stood there, dumbfounded.

Matthew broke out of his daze, mind finally processing that Sung Hanbin had kissed him, and told him that he liked Matthew back.

“Woah…” 

Was all he could mutter out, Hanbin letting out a surprised huff of laughter at Matthew’s response.

In silence, the two walked to Matthew’s room, Matthew letting out a silent sigh of relief when he realized that none of his dorm mates were in the apartment.

They entered his room, and just. Stood there. Matthew didn’t know what to do, but Hanbin came to his rescue by initiating the conversation, eager as he was.

“Seokmae–yah, I’m sorry again for just kissing you like that, I won’t do it again.”

“I-It’s alright—”

“No, it’s not, I shouldn’t have said those things in the park so abruptly, and shouldn’t have come onto you like that— Aw, man. I really wanted to this properly, but I’ve gone and ruined everything,”

Hanbin’s pitch began to grow higher in his haste to explain everything to Matthew, and the younger saw the way the elder’s break grew quicker and he began to hyperventilate.

“Hyung,” He called softly, a careful hand moving to catch Hanbin’s arms. The elder paused to look down at it, then met Matthew’s eyes.

Matthew was beyond confused, emotional, and tired, but he knew that they could only resolve the issue if both of them kept their wits. The talk was going to be difficult, but he figured there was no other way to keep going. Whatever happened, happened. But it’d happen with the both of them calm, and communicating like adults.

“Hyung, breathe. Please. And sit down, I figure that this is gonna be a long talk.”

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry I scared you, Matthew-ah. I wanted to take some time and lead up to confessing, but everything came out wrong, and then you ran away, and all I could think of was following after you… Anyway, I don’t want you to think I was messing with your feelings in any way, and I wanted to tell you honestly how I’ve been feeling these past couple of weeks.”

Matthew nodded along, staying quiet and waiting for Hanbin to continue.

The elder took a deep breath.

“Seok Matthew, I’ve known for years at this point that you like me. I knew, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think I felt the same way, and there was nothing wrong with your feelings. I guess… I liked the feeling of having you unconditionally by my side, whether it was platonic or otherwise, and then Kim Jiwoong came into the picture and I panicked, I thought you were in love with him and I couldn’t stand the thought.

“It was hypocritical of me to get jealous even though I didn’t return your feelings, but the thought of you moving on to someone else, someone better, was almost unbearable, I wanted you to be mine, as selfish as it sounds now. I knew you were hurting, but I refused to let you go because you are one of the happiest parts of my life. I wanted to say this at a better time, ideally with flowers, maybe even with candles and a nice dinner, but Matthew, I’ve fallen for you so hard I can barely process these emotions. I have feelings for you. Terrifyingly strong feelings, more than a person should have towards their best friend. Whatever you’ve felt, anything you’ve felt, is not one sided.”

Hanbin expected a response from Matthew after his unceremonious word vomit, but he was met with a lapse in silence as Matthew simply stared at him with pinkening cheeks and ears. His mouth turned downward slightly, and Hanbin felt his heart drop. He knew that there was a big chance of rejection even after his heartfelt spiel, but he didn’t think that Matthew would be able to deliver his finishing stroke so soon.

“Hanbin-hyung,” Matthew began with trepidation, not meeting his eyes,

“Are you sure you feel that way?”

The elder was quick to assure him.

“I do. I’ve sat on it for days, and I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure because you don’t deserve a half-hearted response. I am telling you now because I am a hundred percent sure. It’s not… It’s not love, at least not as deep as yours is, but there is something there and I am certain I want it with you.”

Seeing how overwhelmed Matthew seemed to be in the moment, though, Hanbin was quick to backtrack.

“I don’t want to impose my feelings on you, that is not what I want this to be. If you don’t feel that way about me anymore, that’s totally fine. Nothing has to change between us, or even if you never want to see me again—”

“Hanbin-hyung,” Matthew started again, this time more firm. There was a hint of adoration to his voice, one of Hanbin’s favorite tones of Matthew’s that the younger knew would calm his friend down. Hanbin decided then to shut up, and let Matthew tell his own side of the story. There was hope yet, as the younger hadn’t immediately kicked him out and ghosted him. Hanbin let himself breathe as Matthew explained his own thoughts.

“Don’t worry, I still do have feelings for you. No matter how spontaneous our relationship has been recently, that’s the one thing that’s never really changed. I just… didn’t expect you to return my feelings, much less confess your own. I actually thought this would be the moment where you rejected me.”

Matthew huffed when Hanbin’s face became indignant, holding a hand up to quell the undoubtedly adamant response that Hanbin would never.

“In fact, as I’m thinking through it now, I’m still barely processing it. What if those feelings are just pity? How long before you realize that you don’t actually like me, and are instead just afraid about getting left behind? Don’t get me wrong— hearing that you like me back makes me so happy that my heart could burst and I could spend the rest of my life wearing a smile no matter the situation, but it’s just so hard for me to believe it.”

Hanbin nodded to express his understanding, telling Matthew that he didn’t have to reciprocate Hanbin’s feelings immediately, but the fool he was, followed it up with a,

“If I kiss you now to prove how much I like you, will you agree to maybe be my boyfriend after this?”

It was stupid, cringey, and painfully desperate, but Matthew, the angel he was, simply laughed out loud, giving Hanbin a small ‘yes,’ and leaning forward, waiting for Hanbin to initiate the kiss.

Their second ( first? thought Hanbin, since the disaster of a kiss earlier was more likely an awkward press of lips,) kiss was exponentially better than whatever Hanbin had tried earlier. This time he leaned in carefully, letting his eyes fall shut as his lips met with Matthew’s.

They were just as soft as Hanbin remembered them, pressed up against his own chastely but so intimately that Hanbin thought his heart would give out in that moment.

This time Matthew kissed back eagerly, fuelling the fire long enough for a slip of tongue before the two were pulling apart, reluctant to come up for air. They were both panting lightly, faced coloring from a combination of exertion, embarrassment, and something more. 

Hanbin immediately wrapped Matthew up in his arms, burying his face in the crook of the latter’s neck, allowing himself to relax. It seemed like the adrenaline from the entire situation was finally catching up to him, as the soreness in his legs became apparent when he let his body loosen enough to ease into the plush mattress of Matthew’s bed.

“Can we just… talk about anything? Like we used to,” Matthew asked, when the two had settled themselves to lay next to each other on the bed. Hanbin thought for a moment, trying to remember any funny stories that their friend group had encountered recently. When it came to him, he turned to Matthew with a growing grin.

“Well, there was this time where Gyuvin and Ricky…”

“Really, Hyung? Jiwoon-hyung, of all people to pair me up with?”

“What?” A playfully affronted response,

“You thought I was hooking up with Hao-hyung!”

A squawk in protest, as Matthew elbowed him.

“That was different. I actually had reason to believe so!”

“Yeah, right. Saying that as if he’s not been actively trying to get into the pants of that guy from his dance class! I also did have a reason to believe that Sunbae liked you, despite what you think! You guys were inseparable, I lived in constant fear that he’d kiss you right there in front of me.”

“Hyung, you are so childish, really! But if you still have any lingering doubts— Jiwoon-hyung has a whole husband acquisition plan for this guy he likes, he’s been after him for the better part of the semester, so there’s no way he’d even think about considering me in that way.”

“I know. I’ll admit to being a bit petty over it at first, but… He kind of laughed in my face when I confronted him, after I thought he was cheating on you.”

A snort, then turning into full blown giggles as Matthew sat up to dramatically clutch his stomach, doubled over in laughter. Hanbin simply looked on, besotted but playing up his irritation at the display.

“No way! When did this happen?”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“Hyung!”

“Nope.”

“Really? Not even if I’m your maybe boyfriend?” The pout in his voice is evident, purposefully goading Hanbin on, and the elder paused to think before he shook his head.

“Hm. Perhaps I’ll consider telling you, if you decide to become my real boyfriend.”

Matthew knew that it was all said in jest, not to pressure him but to remind him of the significance, weight and honesty of Hanbin’s intentions. That Hanbin was serious about him. 

Matthew smiled coyly back, tapping his chin in mock contemplation.

“Well then, we’ll just have to wait and see, right?”

After another week of (excruciating, for Hanbin) waiting, Matthew finally agreed to be Hanbin’s boyfriend. It was a quiet admission as the two were hanging out at the cat cafe, both of them grinning and blushing from ear to ear, but it had finally happened.

Wanting to do things the right way, Hanbin decided that week to take his best friend - turned - official boyfriend on their very first, proper date. 

It was a small picnic that he’d set up in their favorite park near the Han River. The weather was perfect for an outing, and Hanbin had chosen a sparse place under a large tree, the shade serving as a nice respite from the sun.

Matthew had met him with one of those blinding smiles, prompting Hanbin’s own smile of pride and satisfaction.

The date had been leisurely, the two lying beside each other eating snacks and chatting. Hanbin figured out that dating your best friend was so easy in more ways than one— they were already comfortable with each other, knew the other’s interests, and had a good understanding of the other’s boundaries.

Now that Hanbin thought of it, not much had changed in their dynamic, aside from the relationship label and the heart fluttering addition of kissing.

Hanbin was sitting up on the picnic blanket, mumbling around a sandwich with Matthew’s head resting in his lap, the latter’s eyes shut in drowsiness.

An idea popped into Hanbin’s head, and he leaned down to peck Matthew on the lips, the younger’s eyes popping open in surprise as he met Hanbin’s fond look.

Matthew let out a content sigh, poking Hanbin in the forehead in retaliation.

“If I was being so boring, you could have just told me,” teased Hanbin, no fire behind his words as Matthew let his eyes fall shut again. Hanbin’s hands carded through Matthew’s freshly dyed hair as the latter hummed, smiling.

“You know I don’t think that,” conceded Matthew, turning his face to curl further into Hanbin’s touch.

Hanbin knew that their relationship had strong foundations, and that this new romantic development was the best choice they could’ve made, though it did not come with its own qualms. One thing Hanbin had noticed very quickly was Matthew’s hesitance towards this newfound skinship, as if he was wary of Hanbin’s reactions.

The elder knew that this rooted from Matthew’s insecurity in their relationship; the idea that this would eventually end in disaster and that this could not be feasible.

Hanbin was actively working to reverse that mindset, and prove to Matthew that their relationship would survive, and that it wouldn’t disappear as if Matthew had woken up from a dream. It was slow going, and Hanbin knew that he couldn’t solve all of Matthew’s worries in one day, but they were making progress. More often than not, Matthew would be the one to initiate their kisses.

Matthew’s eyes opened once again, and this time he looked up at Hanbin with resolution.

“Be ready, Hyung. Next week, I’ll be the one to plan our second date, and you're gonna love it.”

Hanbin had already confessed his feelings, kissed the boy and taken the boy out on a date, but he couldn’t help the way his cheeks reddened at Matthew’s words.

He pushed his face down into Matthew’s, laughing as the younger squirmed, and said,

“Seok Matthew. If you keep acting like that, it’ll be no time before I actually fall in love with you.”

Matthew’s eyes gleamed at the admission, and he sat up to kiss Hanbin again.

“That’s the plan,” he replied in a sing-song voice.

Hanbin decided to withhold the fact that he already had, deciding that that conversation would be the one with the candlelight ambience and fancy dinner.

For now, he was content with keeping those thoughts to himself. There was no rush, and he was perfectly happy to just sit with Matthew chattering his ear off and feeding him the snacks they’d brought along.

Chapter Text

“Aw, guys, seriously? Gross!”

Haruto’s intruding voice cut through the otherwise quiet room, slicing through the tension and causing Matthew to jump away from where his lips had been fervently attached to a heavily panting Hanbin’s.

Embarrassment, an emotion Matthew had gotten quite familiar with over the past year, overtook him and he could feel the way his ears burned. The two incriminating men on the bed stared down at their feet, ashamed, while Haruto stood stock-still at the door, aghast, looking like he’d seen a ghost.

“Ruto—” Matthew began after the awkward silence had waned on for too long,

“Matt. I’m happy for you, I really am. But with all due respect— I wouldn’t have celebrated so hard if I knew I’d have to deal with KamJay 2.0! And right before classes too, I think my morning is already ruined.”

Amidst Haruto’s moaning and groaning, Hanbin shuffled around in the process of readjusting his clothes. Though he couldn’t understand what exactly Haruto was scolding Matthew for, context clues and Haruto’s gesticulation gave him a pretty good idea.

Then in Korean, Haruto turned to him and pointed his finger accusingly.

“Hyung, you’re the older one! You’re supposed to be more mature, yet here you guys are making out at 6 in the morning?”

Hanbin nodded along to the chastising, looking properly cowed with his red face and tousled hair. When Haruto had winded himself at the end of his rant, Hanbin nodded again, resolute.

“Sorry Ruto, next time we’ll lock the door.”

The cheeky response was clearly not what Haruto had expected from Hanbin of all people, and Haruto’s eyes rolled so far back in his head that Matthew thought they’d pop out.

“Matthew,” Haruto pleaded,

“Can you please take your boyfriend and leave for your classes right now. Please, so I could get another hour of sleep in peace.”

Matthew smiled sheepishly, figuring he should take pity on Haruto after everything they’d subjected the poor soul to seeing.

“Yeah, don’t worry. We were just about to leave.”

Everyone in the room could hear the lie in it, knowing very well that they weren’t ‘just about to leave,’ but before Haruto could complain again, Matthew was grabbing their book bags and hastily pulling Hanbin out of the room and out the front door.

The walk over to school was filled with hushed bickering between the couple. Since Haruto had kicked them out, they’d be going to school a good half hour earlier, so the two took their time as they spoke among themselves.

“You told me the door was locked!” Matthew hissed, no heat in the statement but accusation definitely there. He sped up, causing Hanbin to trail after him as he tried to catch up.

“I could have sworn I did! It’s not my fault that the lock on your door is faulty!”

“That’s only because you don’t know how to use it!”

“Matthew, don’t underestimate me like that!”

The two stopped once they were within campus, and Hanbin pulled Matthew against him to cling and pout.

The younger struggled for a bit, but once it was clear that Hanbin would not be letting him go, Matthew sighed playfully and gave one consolatory peck to Hanbin’s lips. 

“Happy?”

Matthew surely was. He was feeling on top of the world with his boyfriend wrapped around him, despite the fact that the incident this morning would be enough to make him cringe for the rest of his life.

Hanbin’s brow furrowed, as if he was seriously considering the question.

“Maybe one more~” He teased, puckering his lips as Matthew elbowed him.

A snort came from behind them, and the couple turned simultaneously to find Hao watching them with amusement. Their friend’s eyes made it apparent that he was laughing at their antics, but his smile was genuine and kind.

“You guys are surprisingly early today,” Hao said knowingly, watching the two fluster in record speed. No doubt that Haruto had ranted about their PDA in the group chat.

“Figured that we might as well get an early start,” Hanbin blustered out, to which Hao had let out an amused, halfhearted ‘Ah,’ before turning his attention to Matthew.

“Matthew-ah, you haven’t forgotten about that club project we have to do today after classes, right?”

Matthew nodded.

“No, I haven’t. I’m super excited to finally get it done!”

Hao made a noise of agreement, before looking down at his phone to check the time.

“Well, I have to go now, but I’ll see the two of you again later. I gotta get to my first class a bit early to speak to the professor. Ah— and do us all a favor and remember to lock the door when you’re getting it on together, will you?”

Hao waved goodbye to the two, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and then bursting into laughter at the shocked faces of the couple.

Once the elder was out of sight, Matthew groaned, burying his head into Hanbin’s shoulder.

“Hyung, this is all your fault.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Matthew didn’t take Hao’s words to heart— he knew that Hao was happy for them despite the incessant teasing. In fact, when he and Hanbin had decided to announce to everyone that they were dating, Hao seemed the least surprised out of all their friends.

Matthew supposed that it made sense, considering the fact that Hao was the one to help the two of them get together the night Hanbin decided to confess his feelings, and had been the one to (unwillingly) witness Hanbin’s ballsy attempt at a kiss.

Maybe Hao had always known. 

Though Matthew had stopped seeing Hao as a potential love rival a while ago, a part of him was relieved that Hao was actively rooting for them instead of against them. Another, more critical part was embarrassed at the fact that while Matthew had been stewing in his own jealousy, Hao had already accepted the two of them to end up together.

He’s a great friend, Matthew concluded in his thought process, and a smile bloomed on his face when he turned his attention back to his boyfriend, kissing him quickly on the cheek before running ahead, relishing in the way Hanbin’s melodic laugh followed him in the chase.

After Matthew’s last class finished, he stood by the door as Jiwoong shuffled his files into his bag. The elder met him at the exit, nodding his head forward in acknowledgement as the two of them walked in tandem down the hall.

“You’ve got lunch next, right?” Jiwoong asked, to which Matthew replied with a yes.

Jiwoong then mumbled something, seemingly distracted by something on his phone. Matthew chose to observe him quietly for the time being, until Jiwoong’s eyes popped out and a triumphant grin broke out on his face.

“What? What?” Matthew whined, trying to look over JIwoong’s shoulder to his phone. He caught a glimpse of an open chat, the contact labeled ‘Future Husband.’

Jiwoong blushed like he was some innocent maiden, holding his phone close to his chest and swooning with a sigh of delight.

“Stop being gross and tell me!” Matthew complained, pulling on the sleeve of Jiwoong’s sweater.

The latter batted him away, turning to face him with quite possibly the happiest face Matthew had ever seen on him.

“Guess who just scored the sixth date in a row with Seobin but this time he actually knows it's a date?”

Matthew gasped.

“Really? This time, it’s a date date, for real?”

“Yes!”

“Wow Hyung, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Matthew, have more faith in me!”

Matthew snickered, clapping Jiwoong on the back to show his support. In retaliation, Jiwoong ruffled his hair playfully.

“Come on, you can tell me all about your plans after we get lunch.”

The two made their way to the campus cafeteria, where their friends had already gotten their food and were sitting down at their usual table. Hanbin was among them, and sat up to wave Matthew over to sit next to him. Jiwoong sat at the other end of Matthew, scolding something to a bickering Gyuvin and Gunwook.

The younger man smiled when his boyfriend greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, ignoring the chorus of ‘ew’s from their friends.

Hanbin redirected Matthew’s attention to someone else sitting at the table, a man unfamiliar to Matthew who sat beside Hao. He had platinum blonde hair, with delicate features and sharp eyes. He greeted Matthew with a soft smile, to which Matthew reciprocated.

“Seokmae, this is Chen Kuanjui, he’s a friend of Hao. He’s joining us for lunch today, hope you don’t mind.”

The name was vaguely familiar to Matthew, matching up to the face when he realized how close Hao was sitting to him.

“Nope. It’s nice to meet you,” Matthew replied, matching the man’s sweet smile with one of his own.

Once he’d gotten his food and adjusted himself on the table, Matthew whispered to Hanbin,

“Is Chen Kuanjui the one Hao-hyung—”

Hanbin nodded, understanding Matthew’s question immediately.

“Yeah, that dancer from his class. They’ve been not so subtly flirting ever since they sat down, you shoulda seen them.”

“That’s great,” Matthew commented, watching the two men whisper something to each other before bursting into giggles. Yeah, Matthew had definitely been the fool. Otherwise he’d have noticed Hao’s crush sooner. 

Good for him, thought Matthew, he deserved it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a large, errant hand making a swipe at his fries. No sooner did the sound of betrayal leave Matthew’s throat did he whip around to catch a guilty Jiwoong shoving Matthew’s food in his mouth.

“Hyung,” he groaned, causing Jiwoong to bark out a laugh among his mouthful of fries. That menace.

Hanbin patted his shoulder, then hugged him against his chest. Matthew could feel the older’s silent laughs against his back as Hanbin consoled him in an overly sugary voice, no doubt trying to get a reaction out of both Matthew and their friends with the act.

“Don’t worry, Seokmae-yah. You can share with your boyfriend instead.”

And no matter how much Matthew flustered and blustered out his complaints, no matter how much whining he did in the face of their teasing friends, he did, in fact, like the sound of that.