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Chapter Text

The roofs were white, the streets were icy, even his front yard was covered in a white sheet and his mother, Ma Plinth, still made 8-year-old Sejanus walk to school. He threw the fit of the century, Sejanus remembers crying so hard his voice went hoarse. Yet, there he was, walking in the dead of cold in late November. His toes were freezing in his boots, sure to pop off and swim around in the damp cold sole of his shoe. His nose was bright pink and felt raw every time he rubbed it, permanently running at this time of year. 

The Plinth family residence was in District Two on the inner circle of houses right outside the town square. It was a big white house, with columns shooting up to the roof on either side of their brick-accented porch.  Sejasus' father, Strabo Plinth, was never around. He was a businessman, handling God-knows-what, Sejanus never bothered or cared to ask, his father was always on business in the Capitol. He and his mother often talked about moving there for a better life. The thought made Sejanus oddly queasy. 

As Sejanus approached the schoolyard, tucked away in a field of grass behind Town Square, he was joined by a couple of his classmates. Rantee and Sally Pitrock passed on his left, a pair of twins. Evangelina Evergarden strode confidently in front of him, while Carsin Carsley on his left called her name. 

They all piled into the School House, one by one, Sejanus at the back of the line with Marcus Peacefield, his long-time desk partner. 

Sejanus and Marcus weren't exactly friends, but they were not enemies either. Sejanus thought it was impossible to have ‘enemies’ at eight years old, but somehow Marcus found it possible. The boy was rowdy and never learned proper manners. He grew up on the other side of town in District Two. (The locals called it “The Skiv”. Though Sejanus’s father always called it the dirty side of town over dinner.) That is until a few years prior, when Marcus’s family was found to be useful in the war, and they all moved to The Circle, two streets down from the Plinths. 

Sejanus thought Marcus was nice enough and since their last names were so similar they had the fate of a guaranteed desk partner.

He stood behind Marcus, carefully waiting his turn to file in the room and take his seat, bouncing on his feet impatiently in the cold. 

His teacher greeted them, and asked about their morning, to which Sejanus was silent. He was a shy kid who kept to himself. As he walked, his hand was gliding against the door, his mind in another place. He liked to feel the texture of the brick walls lining the schoolhouse. With everyone inside, the doors slowly started to close, right as Sejanus’s fingers grazed the door jam. 

Sejanus heard a large slam and then felt a sharp pain in his hand. To his displeasure, two of his five fingers were trapped in the door jam.

He tried his hardest to stifle a scream, instead took a deep breath through his nose and out his mouth before, without much precision, he tugged his fingers free. Sejanus looked around him in a panic, squeezing his fingers in his palm, too afraid to look at the damage. 

The classroom was loud but at that moment it was impossibly noisy. Their teacher hit her stick against the chalkboard and it boomed through the room. A ringing clouded Sejanus’ senses, and seeing that no one was eager to help him, he wrapped his fingers in his handkerchief. In this moment glad his mother made him carry them around. 

Sejanus suppressed a whimper as he slid to his seat, very aware of his heart beating at the tip of his fingers. He wasn't sure what to do, and Sejanus went over all the possible outcomes in his head. 

He could tell his teacher, but she might call his father and he didn't want that. Leaving his fingers seemed like a bad idea since the pain was unbearable and blood was turning his white cloth red. 

Now panicked with tears swelling in his eyes, Sejanus was unsure what to do. He couldn’t even stand to look at his fingers, let alone treat them. 

Quickly, his thought process was cut off by Marcus Peacefield towering above him with snow wrapped in his dark blue handkerchief. Sejanus looked up at him as a single tear fell down his cheek. He quickly wiped it with his uninjured hand. 

“I saw what happened,” Marcus spoke up, his eyes nervously shifting from one side of the room to the other. “I got some snow from the window, got detention for it but–” 

“Thank you,” Sejanus replied, “I can't go tell the teacher she’ll call my–” 

“I know,” Marcus nodded, his lips pressing into a tight line. “Sorry.” He finished, stationing himself at his desk next to Sejanus. 

“No, it's okay. Thank you.” Sejanus sniffled, trying his hardest to will his voice not to shake. Sejanus wondered what Marcus meant. 

Marcus held his hand out for Sejanus’, now looking at him square in the eyes. Sejanus shrunk nervously under his gaze, shakily placing his injured hand in his classmates. Marcus carefully unwrapped the handkerchief, to reveal Sejanus’s two bleeding fingers, his pointer with half a fingernail, and his middle finger without a fingernail. The sight brought bile up Sejanus’s throat. 

“Gross!” He exclaimed, covering his eyes with his free hand. 

Marcus softly sprinkled the already melting snow on Sejanus’s fingers, shooting a chill down his spine. The cold felt good on his fingers, heated with injury. Almost immediately it began to melt. Sejanus peaked through his parted fingers and watched as Marcus reached into his school bag, and took out a small red box. Sejanus removed his hand from his face in curiosity. 

“It's a first aid kit,” Marcus explained, opening the box to reveal a plethora of bandages and a small vial with a mysterious liquid inside. “My mom makes me carry it around. I get hurt a lot.” 

“I've noticed,” Sejanus giggled, smiling softly. He brought his free hand up to Marcus’ face, grazing his fingertip along a healing chunk of skin near his eyebrow. 

He watched as Marcus turned red under his touch, flinching away at the soft touch. Sejanus moved his hand, letting it drop by his side. 

“Can I ask you something?” Marcus asked, beginning to wrap up Sejanus’ fingers. 

“Sure,” Sejanus replied, his eyes trained on Marcus’. He never noticed the dark shade of brown in Marcus' eyes. 

“Why don't you ever run away from home?” Marcus asked, catching Sejanus off guard. The boy sat there, clearly confused. Marcus caught on. “I know a group of kids in the Skiv who run away when their dads hit them–” 

Sejanus gasped, quickly cupping his hand over Marcus’ mouth. “My dad doesn't hit me,” he whispered, his eyes giving Marcus a knowing look. He cast his eyes down to his fingers, he felt like he could see his heartbeat under the gaze. 

Marcus nodded, his eyes not yet returning to Sejanus’s fingers. “You can stand up to him.” Marcus whispered, “My Pa hit me and Ma silly until I did something about it. Now, I can wrap some rich kids' fingers up for detention. But, at least I don't get hit anymore.” 

Sejanus couldn't look away from Marcus as he felt a pang of an unknown feeling in his chest. It felt like a deep sadness yet fondness. Sejanus wished he had the words to describe it at 8 years old. 

“I can’t,” Sejanus whispered back, “I’m not strong like you.” 

“But you can be,” Marcus reassured, humming softly as he got back to his work. All of Sejanus's attention was brought back to Marcus's fingers wrapping his. The wrap hurt, but Marcus was so gentle that Sejanus couldn't focus on anything but his nimble fingers working carefully. No one treated him that gently, besides his mother, and Sejanus realized he forgot what it was like to have a friend. 

Marcus Peacefield was his friend, a friend that Sejanus couldn't keep. 

10 years later

The morning of the reaping Sejanus gasped awake in his bed, just having woken up from yet another nightmare. His nightmares were always unwelcome guests every reaping season, plaguing him like the illnesses he survived back in the war. The thought of The Hunger Games was a topic Sejanus never was appeased by. But, with the pressure of his father and his rising status in the world, Sejanus wasn't surprised when he got accepted to the mentorship program at the academy. 

He sat up in bed, stretching his legs below him. Sejanus looked around his bedroom, very opposite to the room he kept in District Two. Though one of the wealthier districts, District Two paled in comparison to where Sejanus spent the last 10 years of his life. His room was large, his bed placed in the middle of the southbound wall. There was enough space for his piano, tucked away in the corner near a window facing west, and for a small seating area with a projector that hadn't worked for years. 

He turned to the clock sitting on his bedside table, it read 7:21 a.m. Wistfully, Sejanus fell back into bed, willing himself a few extra minutes of sleep. 

No longer than an hour later, he was freshly showered, full of thoughts of the day ahead. Sejanus stepped in front of his mirror, his towel clung around his waist. He looked at his body and certain words popped into his head. Weak. Skinny. Lanky. Dull. Sejanus sunk in on himself, his shoulders collapsing in as his head dropped. That taunting voice in the back of his head always mocked him like his classmates would when he first moved to the Capitol. 

Sejanus sighed softly, running a finger through his brown curls. He pushed his hair from his face and stuck out his tongue, now taunting himself. He pulled open the doors of his closet, tired of looking at his reflection, and was met with an outfit already set out for him.

On top of the neatly folded clothes read a note: “For your big day. I love you Sej. Ma.” 

Sejanus smiled, always fond of his mother, and held up what she had picked out for him. The outfit consisted of a charcoal suit with a bright white shirt underneath, offset by a paisley tie. It was stylish, and classy, and gave off the impression that the Plinth family would spare no expense for their offspring. The boy shrugged, too tired and nervous to find something else to wear and put it on. 

As he stared at himself dressed in the mirror, also wearing his father’s hand-me-down dress shoes, Sejanus began to pick himself apart more. The suit was a lovely shade of grey and was complemented well with the white shirt, but Sejanus thought it was too bright. It was blinding, likely to make him stick out like a sore thumb. His slacks were a bit too short, showing his ankles after his growth spurt this past summer. 

Again, Sejanus had to force himself to turn away, just in time for his mother to barge in unannounced. 

“Oh good, you got the clothes your father and I set out for you.” Sejanus cringed, and the clothes suddenly felt more wrong on him. “I spoke to Professor Sickle. She requested that Sejanus Plinth carry her shield of honor for her. What a great opportunity! You need to use this as a way to network, some very important people are going to be there today, son.” 

“Sounds like this is coming from Father,” Sejanus replied, turning to distract himself by looking in the mirror again. He caught a glimpse of himself again before his eyes unfocused in a blurry dissociative state. Lanky. “He could at least tell me all this himself, not send you as he always does.” he finished. 

His mother sighed, standing beside him. She reached up and fixed Sejanus’ crooked tie. Skinny. “You know he’s a busy man, Sej.” spoke his mother, fixing his unruly curls. 

Weak. “I know,” Sejanus lied, not wanting to upset his mother. She tried her hardest to keep things cordial between Sejanus and his father. But Sejanus knew, that despite his clear success at the Academy, Sejanus’s father showed no interest in getting to know his son. Sejanus couldn't remember the last time he had a meaningful conversation with his father. “Thank you, Ma.” 

“My boy, you look so dashing.” Ma complimented, “Now, you better get going Mr. Plinth, Professor Sickle is expecting you!” 

Sejanus sat in his seat antsier than ever. Dean Casca Highbottom, the creator of the games and the man overseeing the Mentorship Program, stood in front of them, assigning each District's boy and girl tribute to each student before the reaping. 

After his name was called out, and his assignment was given, Sejanus sat there in shock. The boy from District Two… Getting assigned a Tribute from his own District? It seemed like a sick joke. His father must have called in a favor, striving to, what he thought would, make Sejanus' life easier, to only make it that much harder. Sejanus guessed that was a skill of his. 

He was sat between Coriolanus Snow and Arachne Crane, his eyes fixated on the screen in front of him, as the audience all shuffled in for the reaping. 

Coriolanus turned to him, clear distaste on his face. He was assigned the girl from District Twelve, one of the weakest picks. Yet, he opened his mouth to congratulate Sejanus on his own assignment but stopped short when the worry on his face became suddenly clear in contrast to everyone's excitement. 

“What is it?” Coriolanus asked. “Aren't you happy? District Two boy– that’s the pick of the litter.” 

“You forget.” Sejanus started, avoiding looking Coriolanus in the eyes. “I’m part of that litter,” he said hoarsely.   

Coriolanus seemed to sink in on himself, turning forward, as did Sejanus. Being a part of this program was already torture enough, but having to mentor someone from home? Sejanus grew even more anxious by the minute. 

The broadcast started with District Twelve, east to west coast. Sejanus sighed inwardly, he had to wait the whole broadcast to see his tribute. Seeing District Two was one of the worst parts of the reapings, he usually just dozed off, or averted his eyes from the screen, the sight of home too sad for him to see. The added fact that today he was forced to pay attention, stuck out like a sore thumb in his head, aiding his worries.  

Sejanus tried his hardest to stay alert for his friend sat beside him as the broadcast started, to see what kind of tribute Coriolanus got saddled with. But, he couldn’t help but let his mind drift, the reality of it all settling in on him. 

The District Twelve girl, Lucy Gray Baird, as the screen read, turned out to be a win in Coriolanus’ case. She put on a show at her reaping, attacking a girl with a snake, performing a song, and getting punched by the mayor all in a span of minutes. Sejanus was in awe. She sure had courage, perhaps it was perfect she got paired up with Coriolanus Snow. 

The rest of the District's reapings passed by so painfully slow that Sejanus didn’t even bother to pay attention to the tributes being called. He sat in a daze, just waiting for his turn to sit up and look pretty for the show. 

Finally, after the reaping in District Three faded out, the cameras dawned on the main courtyard in the center of District Two, a place Sejanus walked through every day to get to school when he was young. It had changed quite a bit from how he remembered it, the fact that he hadn’t been there in 10 years ringing impossibly true. Maybe it wasn’t his home anymore. 

The ceremony began, and soon the girl tribute was called. Sejanus didn’t recognize her name. She looked to be around 15 or 16, had short brown hair, and wore a pale blue dress with a rather large hole around the hem. Still, she stood proudly on stage, trying to hide the obvious sobs that racked through her body. 

Then, the Mayor of District Two moved to the second bowl that held the boys' names. This was a scene that haunted Sejanus’ nightmares. His name being pulled out of that bowl, and read aloud to all of Panem. His ears started to ring as the Mayor reached his hand in, pulled out a piece of paper, and read the name on it. 

“Marcus Peacefield.” 

The name boomed throughout the hall. Sejanus froze, his breathing stopped, and his nervous leg stopped tapping. There was no way, it didn’t seem possible, he must have heard it wrong. Something must be wrong. Slowly, Marcus was led up to the stage. Sejanus felt like his chest might burst. This couldn’t be real. His eyes rapidly scanned the screen for anything to grab onto, any hint that it wasn’t him. 

The camera angle changed, showing a close-up of the District Two boy tribute's face for all of Panem to see. Sejanus felt himself flinch as if seeing a ghost. 

The same deep brown eyes, dark skin, and short curly hair appeared on the screen. He stood like a statue in front of the crowd, looking out above them. Sejanus studied his face for the few seconds he was on screen, before the broadcast cut to District One. Leaving Sejanus shocked, sitting still in his seat. 

He felt devastated, his chest heavy as he tried to keep his shoulders up and statue, hiding the fact that while the world was watching him, he was about to crumble. His leg shook beneath him, trying not to give out. The broadcast ended and he sat still as the student body eventually shuffled around him, drawn to the food provided by the Academy.  

Marcus was a ghost from his past, stubborn and insistent on coming back into his life and haunting him once again. Yet, he felt as if he was part of placing the heaviest burden upon Marcus’ shoulders, forcing him to participate in the 10th Annual Hunger Games, with Sejanus Plinth as his mentor. 

Chapter Text

On the walk home, Sejanus’s mind filled with a brigade of thoughts. The first was Marcus’s face when the camera dawned on him at the reaping. 

Sejanus could barely look when they were all watching each reaping at the Academy right after they called out each tribute and their respective mentors. But, he had caught a glimpse, he couldn't help it. Sejanus thought of that day in District Two with Marcus all his life. He’d always wondered what happened to the one person who ever showed Sejanus kindness. 

Upon seeing his face, bile was brought up in Sejanus’s throat. He swallowed it down. The moment forever etched behind his eyelids, was the moment Marcus' face was shown clearly for the first time, front and center on stage with the female tribute. He looked impossibly stoic up there, looking out past the cameras. His face read nothing, not a muscle moved or breath. He looked like a statue. 

Sejanus felt a ping of guilt ring in his chest as his lungs fluttered. Marcus, in all definitions of the word, was handsome. The thought, again, brought bile up Sejanus’s throat. 

Marcus’ black hair was just as dark as it was that day, Sejanus could see it cast against the snow. His skin was pale, his eyes a soft shade of brown. His face rounded out in a satisfying line across his jaw, but he still looked soft around the edges. Sejanus could see that eight-year-old kid still in there. 

That fact was even more terrifying. Marcus was set to be in The Hunger Games in a matter of days. He would suffer immensely during that time he was here in the capital, while Sejanus was expected to sit pretty and watch the whole thing happen. 

He had to do something. Marcus had to know Sejanus still cared, that he was going to fight for him. Hell, if he could, he would fight for all of them. 

An idea was born. 

Quickly after returning home, he joined his mother in the kitchen, where she always was. Word was, the tributes were set to arrive in mid-afternoon, at the train station. After that, as Sejanus had coaxed out of a tipsy Professor Sickle, the tributes were being kept at the City Zoo. Sejanus couldn't imagine they were being treated fairly, as the history of the games showed, and could use some kindness and, not to mention food. 

Ultimately, Sejanus and his mother agreed on making 30 sandwiches for each tribute, plus a few extra, she insisted. He doubted that he would get a chance to give one to each of them, but he at least wanted to try. 

While sitting in the kitchen beside a busy Ma, Sejanus lazily watched the TV in the corner of the room. He was soon brought out of his daze as Coriolanus Snow was on the screen, in the monkey enclosure at the city zoo, with the tributes. 

Sejanus was shocked, confused, and intrigued at the same time. He always wished the best for Coriolanus, he was the only person who hadn't given Sejanus grief when word got around he was from the Districts, and always trusted his judgment. But, whatever stunt he was pulling now, even Sejanus thought was a bad idea. 

Yet, Coriolanus was the star of the show. He and Lucy Gray, his tribute, walked around the monkey enclosure with ease, their attention on the small children already visiting the zoo. Lucy Gray was kind and beautiful, even in the state she was currently in. Another flutter rang in Sejanus’ chest seeing the two of them together. He thought they made a nice pair. 

Not even two hours later, as the sun began to set, Sejanus, dressed in more casual attire, made his way down to the city zoo with a backpack full of sandwiches in tow. He arrived and was let in without a problem, it just so happens that having a father with a reputation has its perks, and made his way through the unfamiliar zoo. 

The things that most capital children experience, Sejanus did not. Being from the Districts and with a father so busy he can't visit you on your birthday, and a mother more invested in her kitchen than you, one doesn't get those childhood memories most kids born in the capital do. For example, a trip to the zoo. As he wondered aimlessly, following the signs Sejanus thinks he has only stepped in the city zoo once in Primary School on a day trip with his class. Never holding his mother's hand, or on his father's shoulders like the families that gathered around him. 

As he approached the monkey enclosure, the fact that Marcus was among this bunch was made abundantly clear to Sejanus. He’d been so focused on making his next step, that emotion had no place in his head. That is until he saw him, then everything changed. 

Sejanus froze at the back of the crowd. The buzz from Coriolanus’ impromptu interview had calmed down, and the crowd was semi-low. Sejanus tucked behind a pillar to his left, trying to keep his breath even. It went rapidly, getting out of control. 

“Sejanus?” A girl's voice rang, familiar. 

Sejanus looked up and saw Luna Sparrow standing in front of him, her arms crossed over her chest. He straightened his back and took a deep breath through his mouth, letting it release out the nose. 

“Oh, hi, Luna,” Sejanus replied, running a nervous hand through his hair. Luna was a family friend, his father's business partner's daughter had forced her way into most of Sejanus’s memories as a child, and not all pleasant ones. “Sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night, feeling a bit woozy.” he tried to cover. 

“Okay,” Luna answered simply, she looked at Sejanus’ backpack. “What's in there?”

Sejanus explained, only the important bits about the tributes and trust and such, and showed her the sandwiches. Together, they joined a few children down by the fence of the monkey cage. Sejanus introduced himself politely, like he’d been taught, and placed down his bag. 

He cleared his throat nervously. What was he to do? He looked at Luna expectantly. 

“Here,” Luna answered, grabbing his wrist and pulling him and his bag full of sandwiches, and a couple of plums Ma threw in, over a few feet. She was always more rambunctious than he was. Ducked in the corner of the monkey cage, where the fenced-in tree line met the bars, was Clemensatia Dovecotes’ tribute, the boy from District 11. When Sejanus offered him a sandwich through the bars, the boy turned his back on them, clearly not accepting Sejanus's offer. None of them trusted him, and he understood why. He was Capitol, them District. He was the one making them fight to their deaths. In their eyes, he was just one of the Capitol. The thought disgusted him. The District 8 girl tribute spit in his face when he offered. 

As Sejanus kept trying, more attention was drawn, and he found himself under the spotlight. He awkwardly navigated the newscasters still lingering around, as well as the crowd that began to collect around him. The boy trying to feed the monkeys, the headline wouldn't read well. 

Just as Sejanus was trying to Coax the District 11 girl, Dill, into taking one of his sandwiches, Coriolanus Snow emerged from the ever-growing crowd. Sejanus, relieved to see a friendly face, brightened and waved him over. 

“Trouble?” Coriolanus asked, approaching Sejanus with a grin, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Always so suave and cool, even after his adventure on the other side of the bars. 

“None of them trust me, and why should they?” asked Sejanus, gesturing to his sandwiches.

A small girl, no older than 7 years old, marched up beside them and self-righteously pointed out the old sign on the monkey enclosure. “It says ‘Please don't feed the animals’.” said the little girl. 

“They’re not animals, though,” Sejanus replied, looking down toward her. “They're kids, like you and me.”

“They're not like me!” The little girl argued, “They're district. That's why they belong in a cage.”  

Sejanus sighed and spoke into the air, “Once again, like me.” he pondered, thinking of a timeline where he’d be the one on the other side of those bars. He quickly shook the thought away, no time for self-loathing. 

“Coriolanus, do you think you could get your tribute to come over? If she does the others might, they have to be starving.” Sejanus asked his blond classmate, watching his face. His blue eyes were bright even in the dark of night that was slowly being cast over the zoo. 

Coriolanus stood for a moment, his eyes searching for Lucy Gray, he then turned back to Sejanus. “I can't treat her like it's feeding time at the zoo. Not mine. But, I could offer her dinner.” he inferred. 

Sejanus opened his bag and offered the contents inside to Coriolanus. “Take whatever. Ma made extra. Please.” 

Sejanus watched as Coriolanus grabbed two sandwiches and two plums, and made his way over to Lucy Gray. They spoke for a moment and then Lucy Gray sat, tucking her feet under her as she accepted. Coriolanus sat across from her, it seemed like he’d grown hungry as well and started to eat with her. Then, Lucy Gray mentioned something to the boy from District 12, Jessup, to which he looked over at Sejanus, and to his surprise, made his way over. 

Jessup was the first to accept a sandwich and a plum from Sejanus, then as if they all realized they were hungry all at once, all of the tributes suddenly lined up to get some food. Very few of them spoke to Sejanus, and if they did they thanked him or asked for another. All the tributes sat and ate their food, each of them protecting it for their life. All of the tributes except for one. 

Marcus stood at the back of the monkey enclosure, arms crossed, staring right at Sejanus. The boy straightened his back and picked the last sandwich out of the bag, just enough for all of them. 

“Marcus,” Sejanus started, returning his gaze. Sejanus’ heart jumped into his throat. “This is for you. Take it. Please.” Marcus remained stone-faced, standing stoic like a statue, just as he had at the reaping. “Please, Marcus,” Sejanus pleaded, desperation laced in his voice. 

A small boy from an unknown district slowly crept up and nabbed the last sandwich, Marcus still not making a move. Sejanus let it happen, glad the food wasn't going to waste and kept his gaze. He flashed Marcus a knowing look, but the boy did not respond. Sejanus sighed and turned around just to be bombarded by a lingering news team. He waved them off, not even hearing their questions, and quickly slipped away from the crowd. 

He wandered through the twisting jungle of pavement in the zoo, until he stumbled upon a bench. Far enough from the monkey enclosure that he could still hear the buzz of his disappearance, the news team seemed to be trying to coax the tributes to speak on what had just happened. 

Sejanus sighed, finally allowed some alone time to think about what had happened. Sejanus feared this would happen, and he knew why. Back home in District 2 the Plinths were a household name, they were deeply hated by everyone. They considered their move to the capital it betrayal, Sejanus’s father's called their opposition buffoonery. 

But still, he had the hope that Marcus would be different, just as Coriolanus was when he moved here, he thought he would put hatred aside and think about who Sejanus really was. If Marcus hated him so much, then Sejanus was going to find a way to make amends. 

Cutting off his train of thought, Sejanus heard a voice echoing from the monkey cages. It was a girls voice, smooth and even, and Sejanus knew right away that it was Lucy Gray. He sat and listened to the tune, enjoying the softness yet sternness of her voice. Sejanus tapped his foot to the rhythm, listening to the lyrics. 

Down in the valley, valley so low. 

Late in the evening, hear the train blow. 

The train, love, hear the train blow. Late in the evening, hear the train blow. 

Sejanus continued to listen, being carried away by Lucy Gray’s song that by the end of it, he realized he hadn't thought about Marcus since she started singing. He sighed in relief. 

Not soon after the song was coming to a close, Coriolanus turned the corner not seeming to see Sejanus. 

“Thanks for stepping up,” Sejanus spoke to make his presence known. Coriolanus looked up shocked then cleared his throat. 

“It was nothing.” 

“I doubt any of our other classmates would’ve helped me,” Sejanus pointed out. 

“None of our other classmates have even made an appearance,” Coriolanus said, Sejanus shrugged, “That already sets us apart. What made you think of feeding the tributes?” 

And so Sejanus answered. He told Coriolanus about his fear of being reaped, about the nightmares he had every night. He told him about how hated his family is in District 2. He told him about Marcus when his finger got caught in the door. He told him about the snow and the detention but failed to mention the most important part of all of it. Marcus knew Sejanus’s father wasn't kind to him at home, he was the only person who knew and cared to say something about it. 

That's why this hurts so much, Sejanus thought, Marcus is the one person I thought I could trust, even now. 

“He wouldn't take a sandwich from me. He’d rather go into the Games starving than take food from my hand.” Sejanus spoke, the reality of his situation weighing on his head. He kicked his backpack sitting on the ground. Marcus hated him, the boy who aided him all those years ago. Sejanus was tired of everyone hating him. He couldn't bare it anymore.

“That's not your fault,” replied Coriolanus. 

“I know. I know. I’m so blameless I’m choking on it.” Sejanus spoke.  

“He’ll still win,” Coriolanus said, trying to reassure Sejanus. He felt bad not telling him the entire truth of the situation, he was just trying to be hopeful. “Any one of us would've been happy to get him.”

Another idea. 

“Really? Then, take him.” Sejanus replied, the answer to all of his problems. Can't worry about Marcus when Marcus isn't his to worry about. 

“You're not serious.” Coriolanus deadpanned. 

“A hundred percent,” Sejanus assured, jumping to his feet. “I want you to have him! And I’ll take Lucy Gray. It will still be horrible, but at least I don't know her. I know the crowd likes her, but what good will that do in the arena? There’s no way she’ll beat him. Trade tributes with me. Win the games. Take the glory. Please, Coriolanus, I would never forget the favor. 

Sejanus felt ridiculous begging like this, but he had no other choice. After seeing Marcus up close, after talking to him, Sejanus couldn't take it. He had enough to worry about, he didn't want this to be one of them. 

Coriolanus seemed to be considering it for a while. He’d get the glory of a victor, the first mentor to sponsor their tribute into victory. Sejanus didn't want any of that to begin with, if he was so lucky to have Marcus, then why did it feel like a curse?

Just as Coriolanus was about to agree, he stopped and his switch flipped. 

“Sorry, my friend,” he said mildly. “But I think I’ll keep her.” 

Sejanus could feel his disappointment flood his body. He couldn't let Coriolanus know, he didn't want to seem inconsiderate for all he’d done for him already. He flashed him a weak smile. 

"Look, Sejanus, you may not think so, but this is me doing you a favor. Think about it. What would your father say if he found out you'd traded the tribute he'd lobbied for?"

"I don't care," said Sejanus, but it didn't sound convincing to either of them.

"All right, forget about your father. What about the Academy?” Coriolanus asked. "I doubt trading tributes is allowed. I've already been slapped with one demerit just for meeting Lucy Gray early. What if I tried to trade her? Besides, the poor thing is already attached to me. Dumping her would be like kicking a kitten. I don't think I'd have the heart."

"I shouldn't have asked. I never even considered I might be making things difficult for you. I'm sorry. It's just,” Sejanus's words began to come out before he could stop them. "It's just this whole Hunger Games thing is making me crazy! I mean, what are we doing? Putting kids in an arena to kill each other? It feels wrong on so many levels. Animals protect their young, right? And so do we. We try to protect children! It's built into us as human beings. Who really wants to do this? It's unnatural!"

"It's not pretty," Coriolanus replied. 

"It's evil. It goes against everything I think is right in the world. I can't be a part of it. Especially not with Marcus. I have to get out of it somehow," said Sejanus, his eyes starting to collect hot tears. They blurred his vision. 

"You could always ask another mentor. I don't think you'd have a problem finding a taker."

Sejanus felt silly for crying, he could tell Coriolanus was uncomfortable standing there with him. The thought made him even more upset. Before he could help it, a tear spilled down his cheek. 

“No. I'm not handing Marcus over to anyone else. You're the only one I'd trust with him." Sejanus turned to the monkey enclosure. "Oh, what does it matter anyway? If it's not Marcus, it will be someone else. It might be easier, but it still won't be right." He collected his backpack. "I better get home. That's sure to be pleasant."

“I don't think you've broken any rules," said Coriolanus.

“I’ve publicly aligned myself with the districts. In my father's eyes, I've broken the only rule that matters."

Chapter Text

When Sejanus got home that night, he could tell his father had returned home before he even approached the house. His loud and insistent voice was booming through the walls, shaking Sejanus’s whole body. His unsteady hand reached for the door, and he took a deep breath, preparing himself for what was to come. He turned his hand slowly and pushed the door open, almost flinching when his father's voice became louder.

The moment he stepped in through the door both of his parents paused to look at him. 

“Hi,” Sejanus said awkwardly, standing at the door clutching his backpack, protecting his vital organs from his father's wrath. 

“What were you thinking?” Strabo Plinth asked him, the first words his father had said to him in 2 months. “Giving food to those animals?!” He yelled, eager to raise his voice. Sejanus sank into himself, slowly feeling like that scared 10-year-old kid whose father hit him so hard the night before he couldn't go to school the next day. 

It always happened the same way. Once the yelling started, it didn't stop. His father picked apart every single thing Sejanus was insecure about. He berated Sejanus for being too sensitive, for latching onto the Districts like a leach, for not understanding why a peaceful life in the Capital for people like them was worth all the suffering in Panem. Sejanus watched as his father's vein popped out his head as he yelled, first at Sejanus, then at Ma when she tried to stand up for him. He stepped toward his mother and Sejanus flinched, ready to jump on his father to stop him from hurting Ma. His father noticed and turned toward him in not-so-friendly haste. 

“What? Do you think I’m going to hit her? Do you think I’d hit my own wife?” Strabo asked. Sejanus only knew of one time he’d hit Ma when Sejanus was 13 years old. She had burned dinner and he had too much to drink. He slapped her across the face in the kitchen, Sejanus watching from the door. 

“No, sir,” Sejanus replied softly, his gaze trained on the ground. 

“Look at me when you speak, boy.” Strabo spat, inching away from Ma and closer to him. That was when he smelt the alcohol, wafting off his father like it was coming out of his pores. He wondered how much his mother had endured while he was at the zoo. The thought sent chills over his skin, making his hair stand up on his arms. 

His father stood there for a moment and when Sejanus didn't answer, he charged towards him. Sejanus, as he learned when it came to Strabo Plinth, stayed standing like a statue, just like Marcus had a few hours earlier. His father grabbed his collar, lifting him slightly off the ground. Sejanus kept his breathing even, knowing that breaking down in these moments meant his father's point was proven. He needed to be strong. He was preparing himself, trying his hardest to make his skin thicker so he could endure it, when Marcus popped up in his head. 

Those words he spoke to him all those years ago. Marcus knew Sejanus could stand up to his father, even if Sejanus didn't know he could. But now, Marcus couldn’t bare to look at Sejanus. His face held so much hatred in it back at the zoo. What did Sejanus do to be hated so much? It wasn't his choice to move from his home, it was his father's. 

I'm so blameless I’m choking on it. 

Sejanus then realized: his father was the one to blame. For everything. For the move, for his Capital classmates bullying him, and for everyone hating them in District Two. For Marcus hating him. It was his father's fault he was so weak and so scared all the time. It was all Strabo Plinth's fault. 

Then, Sejanus got angry. 

“I said,” Sejanus enunciated, looking at his father square in the face. “Are you going to hit me too, Dad?” 

Strabo yanked Sejanus forward, their faces nearly pressed together. His ears were ringing from rage yet he could hear the faint yells of Ma trying to get him to stop. Sejanus didn't flinch, he stared his father in the face, trying to mimic the person who haunted him. He needed to stay strong. 

Almost as if Strabo could hear Sejanus’ thoughts, he looked him straight in the eyes and said: “You will never be my son. To everyone else, you may be, but I want you to know that you could never stand up to who I am. I’m Strabo Plinth, and you're just his unlucky son.” 

Strabo took Sejanus and threw him to the ground. He lost his footing, sticking out his arms to catch his fall but landed right on his back, knocking the air out of his lungs. Scrambling to sit up on his elbows, Sejanus looked up at his father, willing himself not to cry. Soon, Ma came to his side, tears running down her cheeks. She didn't yell at her husband, like Sejanus always wished she would, she just sat there and asked if he was okay, smoothing his hair down and cooing into his ear, but Sejanus still had his sights on his father. 

“If I ever see you aiding those dirty Tributes one more time, this –” he gestured to the mess around him, Sejanus hadn't even noticed that he had knocked down a vase from the coffee table when he fell. Red roses scattered the floor. “–will be a lot worse.” Strabo finished, storming into his office off the den, and slammed the door. 

Sejanus jumped, still on the floor with Ma next to him. Anger was still building in his gut, he needed to be anywhere but here and had nowhere to go. 

“Are you okay, my love?” Ma asked, now pressing her cold glass of water to his head. “I’m so sorry, I should've told you he would be here, I wanted it to be a surprise. You know he was very excited to see you. Until–” 

“Until he saw me on the news being a decent human being?” Sejanus asked, tears collecting in his eyes. He realized he hadn't cried until now. Sejanus stood up, before he could make a fool of himself, and helped up his mother, hugging her carefully. 

“Baby, I'm so sorry.” Ma cried, squeezing Sejanus tight. He hissed as his ribs stung from the fall. 

“It's okay, Ma.” Sejanus replied, wiping her tears as he pulled away. “I’ve had a long day, I'm going to bed.”  

“Could you say goodnight to your father?” Ma asked as Sejanus walked away. But, he didn't answer. He left his answer in the air, dangling above them like a cloud of smoke rising out of a burning house. His house felt hot, heated with resentment, anger, and above all else, disappointment.

His father's voice rang in his head all morning, haunting him like a ghost. Strabo Plinth had made it clear that he wasn't his son, so Sejanus would stick to those words. If he wasn't his father's son, then he didn't have to listen to him. He would try his very hardest to get something out of Marcus today if it killed him, he needed a win, and badly. 

And yet, Ma made Marcus a sandwich. Roast beef. She also made him a cake. A cake! Sejanus was horrified when he walked into the kitchen, seeing the picnic she made for his tribute. This was the last thing he wanted Marus to think of him, a kiss up. When Sejanus argued, trying to prove his point Ma cut him off, insisting he bring the food she made to his tribute, if not from Sejanus then from her. Sejanus ducked his head and agreed, too exhausted to argue any longer. He had bigger things to deal with. Like the fact that he had to see Marcus today. He had to look him in his face and ask the program's idiotic questions as if any of it mattered. 

Sejanus sighed, collecting all his mother's food she had prepared, and rushed out the door, already running late. 

After lunch had come and gone, Sejanus stalked through the halls with his classmates to Heavensbee Hall. The conversation in their morning class had shaken Sejanus up. They talked about The Hunger Games and why it was important to the society they live in, and Sejanus was the only one in the class who seemed to have a distaste for the games. All the rest of them came up with strategies and ways to make the games improve in the near future. It made Sejanus sick. He couldn't help but think of his name being called out in that reaping.

When they entered Heavensbee Hall, it had completely changed. All of the reaping festivities were cleared and all that remained were 24 tables, each with two chairs, for each tribute and their respective sponsor. 

Slowly, the tributes filled in, guarded by peacekeepers and Sejanus got his third glimpse of Marcus. He was chained up, as Sejanus expected, and his hair was ruffled, not as neat as it was the last time he saw him at the zoo. Curiously, Sejanus wondered why, then quickly shook away the thought, focusing on the task at hand. That was the only way that Sejanus could get through this interview with Marcus. He had been prepping all morning, going through a list of things to add, and how he could diffuse the situation between the two of them. 

Yet, nothing prepared Sejanus for the rapid beating of his heart when he approached Marcus and sat down at their shared table. Marcus, who sat in his chair, looked even more familiar than he had on screen or at the zoo. Up close, Sejanus could see that boy he knew long ago. The fact tore at his heart. 

“Hello Marcus,” Sejanus quietly greeted, before clearing his throat and repeating himself. Marcus didn't react, he just kept his head turned, avoiding eye contact with Sejanus. It puzzled the brunette, why Marcus was making such intense eye contact last night at the zoo, but wouldn't dare to look into Sejanus’ eyes in the light of daytime.  

“Um,” Sejanus mumbled, looking down at his questionnaire sheet. They all were assigned certain information to get out of their tributes. As well as having the first greeting, a trust-building exercise. But Sejanus felt like he was given the short end of the stick, a tribute who already had a predisposition about him. “Ma made you some food, it was her idea. I didn't want to bother but, she insisted I take it.” Sejanus rambled, reaching beside him into his satchel, taking out a sandwich and the mini cake his mother had made. He placed it on the table between them, looking around to see if the Peacekeepers saw. 

Marcus didn't move, still as a statue as always, as his arms were crossed over his chest. Sejanus wondered if he was even paying attention to what he said. 

“I'm– um– supposed to ask you some questions if we could just get through that…” he trailed off, his gaze dropping down to the table. Sejanus sighed when Marcus didn't respond, causing his head to snap towards Sejanus, finally making eye contact. 

“Marcus,” Sejanus whispered, looking across the table past the food between them, met with brown eyes. “Please. I’m sorry.” Again no reply, he sat, not saying a word, eyes returned to the back of the room. Sejanus looked behind him, then back at Marcus. 

“Marcus, I’m sorry. I don't know what you want me to say, it wasn't my choice.” Sejanus tried to explain, finally able to tell his side of the story. “My parents– they wanted a better life for me, and my dad has connections in the capital–” 

After mention of his father, Marcus’ eyes shot over to Sejanus once again, brown eyes connecting with brown. Marcus’s face softened for a moment, passing so quickly that Sejanus wasn't sure if he even caught it, but he had. Clearly, Marcus still cared, so then why was he so angry? He looked away once again. 

“You have to understand,” Sejanus spoke, “You helped me that day. You actually cared about me enough to help me, when no one else ever did. You told me to run away from him . But I couldn't. I couldn't leave my Ma, I couldn't leave her alone with him.” At that point, Sejanus started rambling, his expressions animated, anything to grab Marcus’s attention. “I considered it the night before we moved, I even packed a bag. But, something was stopping me, I couldn't abandon them. I still can't, Marcus.” 

Sejanus knew he was being loud, paranoid even, but he couldn't give this up. He had to make Marcus understand. He could feel the eyes of his classmates on him, as they were earlier in class, and Sejanus felt small. 

“What's the use?” Sejanus mumbled, shrinking down in his chair. “You’ll always hate me, but I’m determined to save your life. That way you won't hate me anymore. That way you’ll actually talk to me .” he enunciated, leaning forward. 

Marcus moved uncomfortably in his chair, still looking past Sejanus, but he could tell the brunette was thinking. He’d pay anything to know what was going on in that head.

Startling them both, the timer was up, beeping incessantly through the room. The students around him shuffled, some of them saying goodbye to their tributes as the peacekeepers came around to gather them all. Sejanus and Marcus stayed quiet. He watched as a peacekeeper made their way over to their table, still with an untouched sandwich on top of it. When Sejanus looked back over to Marcus he was staring at him. Sejanus jumped, yet stared right back. He felt a flutter in his chest.  

“I don't hate you, Sejanus.” Marcus replied, looking down at Sejanus as he stood. “I never have.”  

Sejanus didn't even have time to think about Marcus before he was pulled into the lab with all the other mentors to see Dr. Gaul. Her grey wirey hair and lab coat could be seen through the windows of the classroom. They all sat and their respective seats, Sejanus sandwiched between Diana Ring and Coriolanus.

Class started, and they all spoke about the exercise they just completed. Coriolanus was praised, as always. Most mentors were frustrated that their tributes didn't say a word or just cried the whole interview. Sejanus wished he was that lucky as Marcus’s words echoed in his head.

Sejanus had a knack for speaking out of turn recently, yet he couldn't help it. This mentorship, these games… Marcus. It was all too much. Sejanus was exhausted, his mind constantly racing about one thing or the other. 

“Why should they? What does it get them? No matter what they do, they’ll be thrown into the arena and left to fend for themselves.” Sejanus said to Dr. Gaul in class. Yet, another challenge. What was wrong with him? 

Of course, Dr. Gaul challenged back, calling him a ‘rebel sympathizer’. But Sejanus didn't agree, just because he saw the harsh injustice of the games when others around him didn't, didn't mean he was some ‘dirty’ phrase they spat out at him. 

Sejanus let her know how he felt, almost all of it. The Hunger Games are a barbaric idea created by cruel men who have a taste of blood and always have. Throwing children into an arena and telling them to kill each other like they have a choice.

It was disgusting. He never wanted to be a mentor, especially now with all that has happened, and he made that known to the class and to Dr. Gaul. He disapproves, and he could never see himself ever accepting The Hunger Games. 

I don't hate you, Sejanus. I never have. 

“Perhaps you should replace me and assign someone more worthy.”

“Not on your life, boy.” Dr. Gaul had almost laughed.

The conversation left Sejanus nauseous after class. He felt impossibly small, like that little boy who was thrown around for where he was from, and felt all eyes on him as he and the other mentors walked out of class. 

All except, Coriolanus, who walked forward looking straight ahead. Sejanus’ lips formed a slight smile. Coryo was always the one to not show any interest, while at the same time doing what meant the most to Sejanus. Caring enough to not care. 

Sejanus sped up his walking until he was at Coriolanus’ pace, making his presence known with the clearing of the throat. 

“Do you think I’m wrong like they do?” Sejanus asked, almost in a whisper, but enough for him to hear. 

Coriolanus thought, still staring forward, then spoke. “I don't think I’m one to judge who’s right and who’s wrong.”  

Sejanus sighed inwardly, deflating slightly as his words drifted through the air. It wasn't the answer the wanted to hear, but he guessed that Coriolanus had a point. All of this stress he was putting himself through seemed useless when he looked at the little that he’d achieved trying to fight this damned situation. 

Yet, he felt like he couldn't help it. Another sigh passed through his lungs, this time as he opened the front door to his house, his mind clouded with just about a million things. 

“Everything alright, dear?” Ma asked, she was sitting on the couch with some yarn in her hand, starting yet another project that she would never finish. Sejanus was relieved to see his mother, he slouched down next to her on the couch, leaning his heavy head on her shoulder. 

“Ma, do you think any of this is okay?” Sejanus said softly, feeling defeated. Marcus’ voice rang in his head, the first words he’d said to him since that day.

I don't hate you, Sejanus. I never have. 

Ma cocked her head and put her new project away, clearing her lap for his head. He obliged, feeling a little too old for such a position. But, she’d been cradling his head in her lap since he was a baby, and Sejanus just wanted to feel normal when everything felt so out of control. 

“What's worrying you, love?” Ma asked, running her fingers through his brunette hair. As he looked up at her, her features unique to the process of aging seemed more prominent. The crows feet by her eyes, her smile lines, and the worry lines between her brows. It reminded Sejanus that times had changed, his mother wasn’t the woman she used to be, and neither is he the boy he was. 

“My tribute for the mentorship program is from home– from District Two. I knew him, Ma. We were deskmates. Now, he won't talk to me, or even look at me. I’m just–” Sejanus started, quickly sitting up from his mother's lap. “The games are driving me crazy!” He threw his hands up in frustration, then buried his face in his palms. 

“Sej,” His mother cooed, smoothing his hair down. He didn't want comfort, he wanted someone to do something. It felt like he was the only sane one around him and it was driving him insane. Maybe that was the point, to become to insane you don't care about what happens to anyone else. Maybe, the whole Capital is full of delusional, tired people. 

He stood up quickly, knocking his mother's arm back in the process. She flinched, almost like he’d hit her. Sejanus looked down at his mother, tears forming in his eyes out of frustration.

“I am not him,” Sejanus spoke, his voice cracking under him. “When you don't say anything about what he does, it guarantee’s that we will be stuck with him forever, smacking us silly.” 

Sejanus knew it was unfair of him, he knew that his mother was just a scared victim, but he was tired of nothing changing. Something needed to change, and Sejanus would do it.

Chapter Text

Sejanus was proving to be a terrible adult, as he walked into his kitchen and had to cook something without his mother's help. Not that she refused to help him, he was sure that if he asked she would. But after the moment they had earlier in the living room, Sejanus needed some time to himself. So, he got working on the one thing he did know how to make: hardboiled eggs. 

It seemed silly, only knowing how to prepare one dish and a simple one at that. All you do is boil eggs! But, Sejanus was determined to defy his father and help those poor kids at the zoo, he was sure the Capital still wasn't feeding them.

With some slices of bread and his hardboiled eggs in hand, Sejanus headed down to the zoo, now unafraid that his father would see. Part of him wanted his father to see him helping the tributes, he wanted to smile and rub it in his father's face. The other part of him was scared shitless, but he’d never admit that. 

When he arrived to the zoo, it was much more crowded than the last time he was there, it seemed that the citizens of the capital took to entertaining themselves with the tributes. Many of them gave them food and tried to get on the camera of the many newscasters who were there. As soon as Sejanus turned the corner to the monkey cages, the tributes, who all recognized him, flocked to him to the middle of the cage. All, again, except one. But, that was expected. Marcus stood at the back of the cage, arms crossed and staring. 

Sejanus didn't call to him this time, just handed out eggs and bread, trying his best to keep the smile on his face. He waved to Coriolanus Snow and Lucy Gray Baird, watching him from his right. They both smiled and continued their conversation. 

To his left, Arachne Crane was taunting the small girl from District 10. She was lecturing her about something, probably cruel, and waving a sandwich in her face. Sejanus watched as the girl became frustrated, as anyone would, and in the blink of an eye, she reached forward, pulled Arachne toward the bars, and slit her throat. 

It was chaos and Sejanus had his eyes closed, and his hands clasped over his ears. Even through his sweaty palms, he could hear screaming, then gunshots. His eyes shot open, looking around in a panic. The tribute who killed Arachne was shot, bleeding out on the dirty floor of the enclosure. Sejanus’s eyes searched for anyone around him he knew to make sure they were okay. First Coriolanus, who was bravely trying to save Arachne, though it proved to be useless. She already was dead, Sejanus could tell. She looked still in his arms. He then searched for Lucy Gray, who was crouched over and crying in her same spot. Finally, Sejanus lay his eyes on Marcus, still stood staring into his eyes. 

Sejanus looked over his shoulder once more to the dead tribute, lying alone with bullets in her chest. He quickly crawled towards her and reached through the bars, over the girl, sprinkling some breadcrumbs over her body. So she had food on her journey, just as Ma had taught him. He muttered the prayer that went with it, knowing that no one else would for her. Then, was quickly carried off by a peacekeeper, her bloodied corpse sitting in a pool of red. 

Sejanus looked down at his knees, he could feel the blood seeping through the fabric and onto his skin, but the red of blood blended into the iconic red of the Academy, and Sejanus wondered for the first time if that was on purpose. 

He arrived home to his mother crying and his father not comforting her. Strabo stood behind the couch where she sat, watching the projector play Arachne's death over and over. Talking about it like she hadn’t just died. Sejanus wondered if his father saw him sprinkling bread crumbs over the tribute. 

 He didn't know Arachne that well and from what he did know, he wasn't a huge fan of her, but she was a person. So, was the tribute they shot. They were all just kids and now two of them were dead.

Sejanus was in a daze, he’d only ever seen his grandmother's dead body, back in District Two when he was young. Never had he seen someone get killed right before his eyes. He completely ignored his father when he walked into the house, running straight toward a crying Ma. 

“I'm so sorry, Ma,” Sejanus sobbed, wrapping his arms tight around her. He felt guilty for starting a fight before he left for the zoo, he knew she must have been scared out of her mind wondering if he was okay. She told him she had, but she was just glad he was here with her in one piece. His father said nothing, not even when, after comforting Ma, Sejanus stood up and looked him in the face. His father scoffed and turned around, retreating back to his office in a deadly haste. 

Sejanus excused himself to his room, though Ma protested. He told her he was alright and that he wasn't upset, though they both knew that wasn't true. You could see the guilt on his face over all of this. He truly just wanted to be alone. He couldn’t help but feel responsible for Arachane and the girl from Ten’s death. He was the one who first started to go up to the tributes and give them food, then everyone else followed. He quickly stopped the thought in its tracks, he couldn't afford to feel like that. There was enough going on already, he didn't need another thing to ruminate on. 

That night, Sejanus let himself cry as hard as he could, trying to get out each frustration with every quiet sob. His cat, Fluff, whom his parents gave him when they first moved to the Capital, lay purring by his side, so unaware of everything wrong with the world around them. Sejanus felt envious of her, he too wanted to be oblivious like everyone else. 

Sejanus was dreading Arachne's funeral, two days later. He wasn't being honored for any heroic acts like Coriolanus, so he had no real reason to be nervous. All he had to do was sit there and listen, pay his respects, and go home. Yet, that Saturday, Sejanus found himself sitting on the steps of the Academy with his classmates, nerves bubbling in his stomach.

He watched as Coriolanus made his way up the steps of the podium, preparing to sing Panem’s National Anthem. Sejanus shot him a sly thumbs up and a smile, to which he received a tight-pressed line of Coriolanus’s lips, trying to form a grin. 

He cleared his throat before he walked up to the podium and took a deep breath before staring. 

Gem of Panem, 

Mighty city, 

Through the ages, you shine anew .

Coriolanus’s voice boomed through the speakers, dark and smooth, he sang through the entire Anthem. Most people around Sejanus were moved, a lot of them singing along. The song eventually came to an end and Coriolanus stepped down, making room for President Ravinstill to take his place.

“Two days ago, Arachne Crane’s young and precious life was ended, and so we mourn another victim of the criminal rebellion that yet besieges us. Her death was as valiant as any on the battlefield, her loss more profound as we claim to be at peace. But no peace will exist while this disease eats away at all that is good and noble in our country. Today we honor her sacrifice with a reminder that while evil exists, it does not prevail. And once again, we bear witness as our great Capitol brings justice to Panem.” 

The president's voice was loud and overbearing, filling Sejanus’s ears up until there was room for no other sound. 

Then, on cue, the drums started thumping as the funeral service came around the corner. That's when Sejanus saw her, the District Ten girl, body swinging back and forth from a high pole. Below her, held in a cage, were the remaining twenty-three tributes. Sejanus’s eyes wanted to instinctively search for Marcus and yet had no luck being taken away from Brandy’s dead body swinging back and forth above them. It was all anyone could look at, the dead tribute being paraded for all the capital to see. Bile rose in Sejanus’ throat. 

That could easily be him up there, trapped in a steel box with a murdered girl hanging above him. 

He had to get out of here, he couldn't bare to see it. Sejanus was about to excuse himself,  until he spotted Marcus in the moving cage, sitting in the corner with his legs tucked under him. He stared forward, his eyes casually drifting like he was looking for something. Then, his eyes connected to Sejanus’s through the crowd. It was only for a split second, but he knew he hadn't made it up. Because when Marcus looked at Sejanus, he had been crying. 

The whole scene had upset Sejanus so much he couldn't bring himself to eat lunch back at the Academy. Coriolanus sat across from him as he silently ate, meanwhile Sejanus sat poking at his chicken and biscuits as his mind wandered. 

It was horrifying, seeing that girl swinging up there. Sejanus thought of the gallos in District Two during the war. It brought shivers down his spine. Marcus’s tear-filled eyes suddenly filled Sejanus’s mind. Sejanus would think that out of anyone to be stoic in the parade he was forced to take part in, it would be Marcus. Instead, he seemed to be wallowing in something, just as Sejanus would do. But Marcus was different than him, he was stronger, he was stoic. Sejanus had never seen Marcus cry, not even at his reaping. It was so puzzling to him that he was starting to get a headache. Even more worrisome, Sejanus remembered, out of all things to forget, that he had to see Marcus today during the tour of the Arena, Dr. Gaul announced this morning. He had to walk next to him and talk to him, or at least try to. 

“They’ll report you if you throw out all that food,” Coriolanus cut into his thought process, Sejanus looked up. Coryo always saving his ass. 

“Right,” said Sejanus, ignoring his statement completely. Let them report him, how could they expect any of them to eat after that? How were any of them able to? 

They sat silently for a moment, both thinking too hard, then Coriolanus spoke up again. 

“All done?” said Coriolanus, looking at Sejanus’ plate. Sejanus sighed softly.

“I can’t eat today,” admitted Sejanus. “I don’t know what to do with this.” He gestured down to his barely eaten chicken. 

“Put it here,” Coriolanus nodding down to his plate. Sejanus looked around and snuck the piece of chicken over to his empty plate, and into his lap, where a napkin lay to catch it. Sejanus looked around for Peacekeepers watching, but Coriolanus was already done before he was able to look back at his friend. 

“Thanks. You’re quite the rebel,” Sejanus commented as they stood up and took their now empty trays to the conveyer belt that led to the kitchen. 

“I’m bad news, all right,” said Coriolanus.

Sejanus’s laugh died in his throat as he realized their next destination. The Arena with the tributes. The Arena with Marcus. He felt sick. 

All of the students were piled into vans and taken to the Arena, a large building built across the river to prevent a pile-up in the Capital streets. At the height of the capital, the amphitheater was a large attraction, always having some kind of circus, sporting event, or military stunt in the confines of its walls. His classmates around him all spoke in detail about their childhood attending these events. Sejanus couldn't relate, they didn't have things like that in the Districts. 

During the war, the Arena was used for public executions, so it was a target for the bombings the rebels laid on the capital. Soon after the war ended, though the main structure was still there, the Capital Arena was reduced to rubble, and unusable, and so they started to hold The Hunger Games in it as a result. In the time between each game, the Arena was kept locked up, just waiting to be used for the next year. 

As they approached the Arena, the nervousness in the van started to feel palpable. All the air in the bus caught in Sejanus’s throat as they pulled up and were greeted by the tributes in handcuffs, awaiting their arrival. He caught sight of Marcus immediately, third in line. His tall and large frame stood out in comparison to the other tributes. There were some contenders, but no one was as lean as Marcus. In any other circumstance, Marcus might have a chance to win. Yet, he was saddled with Sejanus, which meant doom. 

As they all stepped out of the van, Sejanus tried to keep a smile on his face as he greeted Marcus, all of the mentors standing with their tribute in a neat line. If the Capital is anything, it's organized. 

They still hadn't spoken a word to each other, even as they were ushered through the entrance of the Arena, through the turnstiles, and into the vast openness of the Arena. It was surreal seeing it in person, Sejanus never watched The Hunger Games, for obvious reasons, but his father did. Often coming home during the games, seeing as business is slow, his father takes residence in the living room, The Hunger Games always on screen. So, Sejanus had seen glimpses of the Arena, but he never imagined it to be as big as this.

Sejanus looked over at Marcus who was white as a sheet, just before he was going to ask if he was alright, the bombs went off. 

His body flew across the Arena, his back hitting a wall to break his fall. He slumped on the ground, ears ringing and back aching. Sejanus reached around his body to feel where the impact had hit on his back. He pressed slightly, hissing his breath in when he felt a sharp pain through his ribs, hurting a hundred times worse than they had when his father threw him to the ground. A previous injury which didn't help the current situation he was in. 

Sejanus sat up as fast as he could, which proved to be pretty slow, and looked around. Through the smoke Sejanus could see a few of his classmates, Florus Fiend lying next to him unconscious, with Livia Cardew tending to him. Sejanus turned his head to look for Marcus, and when he wasn't there, he stood up, a shot of adrenaline pumping through his veins. 

Sejanus looked around at the rubble surrounding him, the Arena was blown to bits, and everyone lay helpless on the ground. Sejanus scanned every inch of the place that was visible and saw no sign of Marcus. 

“Marcus!” Sejanus called out.

Then the next bomb went off, blowing him back against the wall. He winced as he hit it, gripping his ribs as he fell to the floor. There were screams echoing in his ears and if Sejanus listened close enough, in the daze of his injury, he could hear Coriolanus Snow calling for help. 

Sejanus looked around at all his classmates around him, most of them were crouched, knees to their chest with hands cupped over their ears. Sejanus realized why they knew exactly what to do in the event of a bombing, they were all children when District 13 rained bombs over the Capital during the war. They were all just a bunch of scared kids, waiting to be rescued. 

Eventually, the paramedics got word of the disaster at the Arena, and not too long after the second bomb went off, they were swarming the building. Putting out fires and loading the injured on gurneys. Sejanus stood up slowly, his ribs aching, and seeked help from a lone paramedic standing around. He was brought back to the Arena entrance, which now had a hole blown through it. 

They lead him to an emergency vehicle near the wide entrance, pressed a few fingers into his ribs and deemed him a non-urgent case and moved on. Though Sejanus’ ribs hurt, he was more than ready to go home and sleep this whole day off. Shortly after getting checked out by the paramedics, Dr. Gaul and Dean Highbottom approached him while he sat on the bumper of one of the emergency vehicles. He stood as they walked up.

“Sejanus Plinth,” Dean Highbottom spoke in his best authoritative voice. 

“I'll take this, Casca.” Dr. Gaul interrupted, turning to Sejanus. “Sejanus, the boy with the sandwiches. Please sit.” she greeted. 

Sejanus nodded, swallowing hard as he sat back down. “Yes, hello Dr. Gaul. Dean Highbottom. Everything alright?” 

“Clearly not.” Dr. Gaul laughed, “Were you hurt? I assure the paramedics will take care of you. In the meantime, I have a few questions regarding your tribute.” 

“Marcus?” Sejanus asked, shooting up in his seat once again. “Is he alright? I didn't see him after the first explosion.” 

“So you didn't,” Dr. Gaul noted, nodding slowly. “It seems as though Marcus has disappeared after the explosions. The search team is looking for his body, as well as the other lost students and tributes, but my thoughts are different.” 

“What are your thoughts?” Sejanus asked, not sure where she was going with this. Could Marcus really be dead? Sejanus looked all over for him, there's no way, he would have seen. 

“Dr. Gaul,” Dean Highbottom warned, looking up at the lady with a deadly glint in his eye. 

“Casca, I'm sure you have students to attend to. Why don't you leave me and Sejanus here, we have much to discuss.” Dr. Gaul said to Dean Highbottom, who, in response, just sighed and nodded, making his way back towards the Arena. 

Sejanus’s heart was caught in his throat as he watched the Dean walk away, expecting Dr. Gaul to turn into some kind of humanoid monster and eat him whole. Instead, she smiled at him. 

“You were there when that poor girl was murdered at the zoo?” Dr. Gaul asked, one of her eyebrows raising. Sejanus nodded, swallowing down his worries. “I saw you on the newscast, leaning over that murderer, the girl from Ten.”

“I was. My mother is very religious, she always taught me to respect the dead, I was simply sprinkling bread crumbs over her body,” Sejanus replied respectfully. “What does this have to do with Marcus?” 

“It doesn't,” Dr. Gaul replied, a smile still on her lips. She seemed to be mentally noting something, Sejanus wondered what was going through her mind. “Sejanus, I believe that Marcus has escaped. Now, I’m only telling you as his mentor, but he could be dangerous out there.” 

“Marcus would never hurt somebody innocent,” Sejanus argued. “If he's out there it's probably because he's scared. I’m sure they're all scared.” 

Dr. Gaul laughed in response, throwing her head back like it was the funniest thing anyone has ever said. She continued for a moment, then looked back at Sejanus. “If you see him out there Sejanus, you must tell me right away. Lives could depend on it.”

Chapter Text

Sejanus’ mother would not stop crying. 

The Academy contacted all of the uninjured students' parents and let them know of the incident. The remaining student body, after being thoroughly checked out by the paramedics, were transferred to the Academy where they awaited their parent's pick up. No one was allowed to leave without their parent's signature, to protect the students. When Sejanus heard of such an event taking place, the parental pick up, he cringed. 

Sejanus loved his mother, more than anything in the world, he’d do anything for her. Yet, what is a human without its flaws? Sejanus had known since he could speak that his mother was riddled with anxiety. As a kid, she wouldn't let him near the fireplace in case he might climb in, nor would she let him near the stove for that same reason. 

So, when Ma arrived with tears in her eyes, Sejanus wasn't surprised. 

“Hi, Ma.” He greeted as he walked up to her, right before she tugged him in for a large, tight hug. 

Ma’s arms wrapped around Sejanus in a deathly grip, holding onto him like she’d never let go. Words started to fall from her mouth through sobs, most of it unintelligible. She told him that he was glad he was alive, and asked him if he was hurt just as many times as she reminded him that she loved him. 

Sejanus loved his mother but as they climbed into the car Strabo had ordered for them he couldn't help but feel embarrassed. His father sat at the other end of the car, his legs crossed and hands clasped together. The car was long and had seats that stretched around the perimeter of it. 

“Son,” Strabo greeted. Sejanus could see Ma put him up to it, seeing as she forced her sobs to quiet as they entered the car. Sejanus internally rolled his eyes. “You alright?” 

The first time Strabo had checked in on him since he was 12 years old and broke his arm. Sejanus had one parent who cared too much, and the other none at all. 

“Fine,” Sejanus answered, settling himself next to Ma. He grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together, trying his best to comfort her. “Ribs hurt, but I’ll live.” 

“I’ll make you some tea when we get home, sweetie. As well as a hot compress for your poor ribs.” Ma chimed in, grasping his hand firmly. “You must have been so scared Sej.” She started to wipe the soot off his forehead before he moved away from her touch. 

Sejanus sighed softly and nodded, looking at Ma. “I’m not anymore. I’m with you.” He forced a smile, rubbing Ma’s back with his free hand. “Thank you. That sounds wonderful.” 

“I heard your tribute ran away,” Strabo commented from across the car, “You couldn't have kept an eye on him?” 

“I was a little busy.” Sejanus scoffed, instinctively pressing on his ribs, hissing a breath in as they stung. “Dr. Gaul called you? Why?” 

“Doesn't matter why,” replied Strabo, looking Sejanus dead in the eyes. “I’m just saying, Sejanus, you could have kept a better eye. Done something to stop him.” 

Sejanus shook his head, ignoring his father's comment. It wasn't worth the fight, Sejanus was exhausted in so many ways he didn't even know existed. All he wanted to do was lay in bed and forget all of this was happening to him, if not for at least one moment.

When they arrived home, Sejanus was dotted on by his mother by every hand and foot. She walked him to his room, tucked his blankets in, lit a candle, and went out to the kitchen to make some of her famous meat loaf sandwiches. Just glad to be alone, Sejanus drifted off to sleep with only one person on his mind. 

He finally awoke late that night. He turned over in his bed, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before looking at his clock. 11:24pm. Sejanus sighed and threw himself onto his back, staring up at his ceiling. 

Marcus was gone, there was bombs at the arena and clearly, there had been an attack on the student body. Sejanus didn't know if there were any casualties, or if Coriolanus was even alright after he heard him calling out earlier right after the explosion. Sejanus remembered the chorus of ‘Help!’s that rang out after the bombs had gone off. The memory shot shivers down his spine.

Sejanus looked to the other side of his bed, Ma had laid out a sandwich and a hot compress for him. He hovered a hand over them and realized they were both cold. Had he been out that long? He took two fingers and pressed them into his ribs, this time they didn't ache as bad as they did before, but the injury was still there. The paramedics didn't seem all too concerned, so Sejanus expected it’d go away in a few days. 

He sighed softly, throwing his blankets off and stalking to the en-suite bathroom connected to his room. In Sejanus’ opinion, his bathroom was ugly. There was white marble covering the floors, walls, and surfaces, even his shower was made out of marble. All of the accents of handles and the water spouts were all solid gold, exported from District Twelve before the war. It reminded Sejanus that he wasn't like Marcus, not really anymore. He thought back to his bathroom in District Two, stone and silver replacing marble and gold. 

Next, Sejanus found himself being led to his living room, eager to tune into the news to see the effects of the bombing on Panem. He didn't expect they were all that good. 

What he hadn't expected, was to walk into the living room and find his father awake on the couch, watching something on the projector. Right as Sejanus walked into the room he turned it off. 

“Hi,” Sejanus greeted, standing awkwardly in the archway. He was hit by a wafting draft of alcohol coming from his father's mouth. Sejanus sighed. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Strabo nodded, taking a sip of his nearly empty alcohol bottle. Sejanus cringed at the nickname, his father often called him that when he drank. “You doing alright? Ma said you were asleep.” 

“I was,” replied Sejanus, stepping into the room cautiously. He seemed to catch his father in a good mood but decided to still stay wary of him. Sejanus never knew with his father. “I just woke up. I’m guessing you were watching the news?” he asked. His father nodded. “And I’m guessing Ma told you not to let me see?” he followed up, watching his father's face. 

“She doesn't want you to worry,” Strabo said in a hushed tone, his eyes glancing around the room like he was looking out for her. Chances are she’d gone to bed long ago, she always had a strict night schedule. 

“I think we all know I’m going to worry anyways,” Sejanus replied, in all seriousness. His father laughed in response. Sejanus chose to ignore it, with no energy or will to fight. “Is everyone okay? Are there casualties? Dr. Gaul said–” 

Strabo cut him off, swiftly. “Dr. Gaul should have left it up to me, your father, to talk to you about this.” 

“About what, father ? Now I’m your son? I do recall you saying the opposite.” Sejanus spit back at him, standing up from his seat. Forget it, he’ll just go watch it in the kitchen. Sejanus was over this, he was done with his father trying to control him while simultaneously not caring. It was all too much, Sejanus felt like his fragile skin would crack and break apart at any moment. 

Just as he turned to walk to the kitchen, Strabo grabbed his wrist, stopping him. Sejanus turned around, relaxed his face, and he looked at his father in the eyes. 

“Let me go,” Sejanus spoke loud and clear. He wasn't going to back down. 

“Whether any of us like it or not, you are my son. You will sit down and listen to me when I speak.” Strabo commanded, tightening his grip on Sejanus’ wrist. Sejanus tried to tug away, but couldn't slip through his grip. 

“Let me go.” Sejanus repeated, looking his father angrily in the face. “I don't care what you have to say. About any of this. You can't change my mind. Those are children out there, being murdered over what? It's barbaric!” Sejanus spoke urgently, trying not to yell and wake Ma. She didn't need to be involved. Sejanus finally tugged his arm away from his father. 

“I am the reason we aren't in the Districts anymore. I'm the reason that isn't you out there. You should be happy Sejanus, any kid would.” His father pleaded, trying to get under Sejanus’s skin. “You need to be grateful for what you have. Anyone would give their life for this.” 

“I never wanted this.” Sejanus exclaimed, quieting as he realized Ma was asleep. He looked at his father, trying his hardest not to cry. “You know what. I’m not going to argue with you right now. I’m tired, I want to know if my friends are okay. My ribs hurt, no thanks to you. I'm going to bed.” 

“You can't blame me for everything Sejanus.” Strabo kept arguing, trying to make Sejanus look like the bad guy. “I didn't do that to you, the bombs did.” 

“You pushed me,” Sejanus shook his head, laughing into the air. “The other night, you pushed me onto the ground. The bombs just made it worse. You know– I can't do this anymore, goodnight.” 

Sejanus tried to walk away when his father jutted out in front of him and drunkenly threw a punch. Landing right on Sejanus’s cheekbone. The room spung around him as the boy fell to the ground, Strabo being much stronger than he was. It wasn't a very hard punch, not that it didn't hurt, but his father was so drunk he nearly missed.

But, he hadn't. 

“ Why don't you ever run away from home?” Eight-year-old Marcus’s voice rang in his head. The only person who knew who his father really was, outside of his family, was Marcus. The only person Sejanus wanted to see, in some twisted way, was Marcus. 

Sejanus stood up as quickly as he could from his spot on the floor. He looked at his father for a moment, considering saying something. There weren't words that could describe how Sejanus felt about his drunken father, leaning against the fireplace. He was filled with anger and despair and feelings that he couldn't even comprehend before he grabbed his Academy bag from the hallway, turned around, and left without a word. 

By the time he reached the lobby of their apartment building, Sejanus realized he wasn't sure where he could go. He could use the pay phone to call Coriolanus, but Sejanus realized he didn't know who was okay after the bombing. 

Sejanus simply walked as much as he could, twisting down the confusing Capital streets. They were always kept tidy, with little to no trash or litter on the ground. In the Districts, things were just so different. Alleys were muddy and ridden with discharged items. Clothes, papers, bags. It paled in comparison to this. Not knowing where he was going or when he’d arrive, Sejanus didn’t care. He just needed to get as far away from his father as possible. He looped through the streets of the Capital, ducking behind garbage bins from lurking street patrol. 

Sejanus thought of his anxious mother, who would panic if she knew what he was doing. Weaving through dark alleys and streets, like some common criminal. He raised his hand up to his cheek and touched where his father hit him. The spot stung, probably going to leave a bruise, and Sejanus sighed, slumping his back against a building across from his favorite spot in town, the south river. 

As a kid, when Sejanus first moved to the Capital, the kids were never nice to him, so he didn’t have many friends, or any for that matter. He used to come to the river after school, when his father was too drunk to care and his mother was too involved in her cooking to notice, and sit under the big weeping willow tree, reading whatever he could get his hands on. 

Over time, Sejanus found he didn't need the people around him. He befriended all the animals who came to greet him, whether it be squirrels, birds, or the stray cats that roam around the Capital, he opened his arms for every one of them. They didn't know nor care who he was. It became safe, the sanctuary under his weeping willow, and no one could touch him there. His father couldn’t scream at him, the kids at school couldn’t mock him, it was just him, the animals, and the tree. Sejanus liked it that way. 

Suddenly, a hand reached out from behind the corner, jutting forward into Sejanus’ thoughts as they grabbed his face and yanked him into the alley of the building beside him. Sejanus stumbled to get his footing, as this mystery person tugged him towards them and kept their hand over his mouth. 

Sejanus struggled for a moment then, pushed away, and with little effort, his attacker let him go. When Sejanus whipped around, to see who had handled him so roughly, he was met with familiar brown eyes. 

“Marcus?” Sejanus asked, though he knew it was him. “Marcus!” 

“Fuck,” Marcus mumbled under his breath. 

“What are you doing?” Sejanus asked urgently, shoving Marcus back further into the dark alley, checking over his shoulder for Peacekeepers. “This place is crawling with Peacekeepers looking for you. ” He pressed his hand to Marcus's chest.  

“What happened?” Marcus asked, completely ignoring Sejanus' statement. He swiped Sejanus’ hand off him and grabbed his chin, tilting his head to the side to get a better view. “Who did this?” 

“Marcus,” Sejanus hissed, pushing his arm away. “Stop. What is wrong with you? All you do is ignore me, and now you want to know who hit me? Who do you think?” 

“Fuck you,” Marcus spat back, the indecision making Sejanus’ head spin. “He still hits you?” There was a shift in tone that Sejanus ignored. He didn't have time for this, He ran away from home to get some quiet, not to run into his fugitive. 

“Seriously, I can't do this, not tonight. You’ve made it clear that you want nothing to do with me, so do away I will.” replied Sejanus, scoffing under his breath, “Don’t act like you care about me one moment and then curse me out the next.” he finished, turning to walk away. 

Sejanus had planned to keep walking, he wanted nothing to do with any of this anymore. He’d forget he saw Marcus, he’d never tell Dr. Gaul aor Dean Highbottom, or even Coriolanus and Ma, that he saw Marcus. He’d make himself forget. When this was over he’d forget about it all. It was all causing him too much stress, he could feel it in his chest, right below his rib cage. A tense ball in his core building and building, threatening to pop. 

Sejanus was set on walking away until Marcus grabbed his wrist and whispered two words. 

“I’m sorry,” Marcus spoke. Sejanus looked back at him, their eyes immediately catching each other. He let the words dangle between them for a moment before he spoke again. “Did he hurt you?” 

Sejanus nodded, keeping eye contact. “Yes.” 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

“I will be.” A sigh. Sejanus looked around them, realizing where they were standing. “Let’s go somewhere safer, we’re basically asking to be caught.” 

“There’s Peacekeepers everywhere, where would we go?” asked Marcus, looking over Sejanus’ shoulder. 

A black cat passed through the alley, weaving between their legs. 

Sejanus supposed every now and again he had good ideas, otherwise his judgment may not be the best, but he knew this was the former. He grinned softly, thinking of the weeping willow tree and its long branches he spent so much time under, his ultimate destination for the night. 

“Follow me,” Sejanus directed, grasping Marcus’ hand, “And don’t let go no matter what.” 

The cat looked up at Sejanus and chirped, growing impatient as he pleaded the two boys to follow. He led Marcus and Sejanus to the opposite wall of the alley, pressing up against the brick to stay out of sight of the Peacekeepers. The two boys crouched down, holding onto each other with such urgency. Sejanus could feel Marcus’s thumb nervously playing with his. He shook it off and kept walking. The cat stopped, almost as if to check the street before continuing.  

They followed their guide through the bushes and past Peacekeepers with ease, Sejanus trying to mimic it's every move. 

Before the war, only the richest of the rich kept cats as pets, oftentimes spoiling them rotten in the process. But, as the war raged on, and people were displaced from their homes, so were their animals. Now, stray cats roam the streets of the capital, almost like an invasive species, most of them feral. About 12 years ago, right after the war, a group of animal activists took some of the cats off the streets, rehabilitated them, and gave them to Capital citizens to once again keep as pets. Most, though, remain tucked into small alleys and hidden quarries. No one knows the Capital better than the stray cats. 

When Sejanus was young, he often took to the cats of the streets, feeling like he could relate to them. Self-reliant because they had to be. 

Moments later, after finally losing sight of the Peacekeepers, Sejanus watched as Marcus crawled through the small hole in some shrubbery behind the south river, revealing to him the tall weeping willow, swaying in the chill wind. Moss hung from its branches cascading down, some of them so long they almost touched the ground.

With a smile immediately plastered on his face, still hand in hand, the two of then rounded the tree and Sejanus marveled at the sight. His favorite spot, where he spent so much time as a young boy, remained untouched. 

A large rock lay cemented in the ground, two inches away from the weeping willow’s wide trunk. It puzzled Sejanus when he was young, often keeping him up at night as to how the rock got there in the first place, or how the tree still grew around it. The scene before him reminded Sejanus that nature finds a way to persevere past what seems like impossible circumstances. It often gave him hope, when everything around him was seeming to crumble, here lie a boulder with tree roots growing around it's base. 

Sejanus looked to Marcus, who was marveling at the sight. The main reason he liked this tree so much when he first moved to the capital, is that it reminded him of District Two, where weeping willows grow in bulk. 

Sejanus admired Marcus’ features, not seeing him without his guard up until now. He looked softer, his before harsh lines smoothing out into a perfect frame for his face. Sejanus watched as Marcus’ brown eyes glinted in the moonlight. He looked down at their hands still intertwined. Nerves bubbled uo his stomach as he reluctantly let go of the lingering touch. Marcus must have been paying attention, he quickly tucked his hand into his pant pocket.

“Sejanus,” Marcus gapped, finally looking back at him. “How did you find this place? It just like–” 

“–just like home.” finished Sejanus, looking up at the tree above them. “I know. I used to come here a lot when we first moved to The Capital. It reminds me of District Two, I would get so homesick all the time and this place would take me right back.” 

When he looked back at Marcus, he was already staring. His eyes were wide, his face blank, almost looking as he did before the bombs went off in the Arena.

The two of them settled onto the ground in front of the boulder, unable to be seen by any stray Peacekeeper who might pass by, though it was unlikely, they couldn’t take chances. The two sat side by side, quiet for a moment until Marcus spoke up. 

“I meant what I said the other day,” he paused and turned to look at Sejanus. “I don’t hate you.” 

“It seems like it,” Sejanus replied, fiddling with his hands. “I just want to help, Marcus. All of this could have been avoided if you just let me.” 

“I don’t need your help,” Marcus argued, his brow furrowing in frustration. “I don’t want your help.” 

“Why?” asked Sejanus, now fully turning to Marcus. “What do you have against me?” 

“Sejanus, I don’t–“ 

“No!–God, what am I doing?” he asked himself, looking over at Marcus. “You either tell me why you won’t accept my help or I walk away and stop giving it to you. You can use this as a hideout. I don't care, just don’t involve me.” 

“It's not that easy. I can't just–” Marcus spoke, promptly cutting himself off with a sigh. 

Sejanus didn't speak, just watched as Marcus thought. He buried his head in his hands, avoiding eye contact at all costs. 

“You just–” Marcus started, lifting up his head. He looked at Sejanus and took a deep breath. “You remind me of someone, back home. Everything you do, Sejanus. The way you speak, how you hold yourself. Your stupid caring nature– you even look alike! I just– I can't do it. Not with you.” 

“Not with me?” asked Sejanus.

“God, Sejanus, you really are so clueless.” Marcus replied, a hint of laughter in his voice. “Just– just let me finish.” Marcus pleaded, his eyes trained on him. “Please.” 

“Okay,” Sejanus whispered, his eyes reciprocating each glance. 

“When I first saw you the first time at the zoo, handing out those sandwiches, I thought you were him .” Marcus paused before continuing. “My heart stopped. I almost ran over to you, I would’ve climbed through those bars if I had to. Then, out of some stroke of dumb luck, I realized it was you, Sejanus Plinth, and I–“ 

Marcus took a deep breath and looked away. 

“–I realized it was you and I couldn't take it. I felt like a heartbroken kid again.” 

“Heartbroken?” inquired Sejanus, watching Marcus’ face contort with a misplaced emotion. He looked back at Sejanus with his brows furrowed and his lips pressed into a tight line.

“I considered you my friend Sejanus. No one really liked me at school but you were the only one to always show me kindness. When you left for the Capital I was devastated. You didn’t even say goodbye, and I was so confused. I just– I was so young and I let myself like you, and when you moved I didn’t know what to do with myself.” Marcus chuckled. “I cared about you so deeply, and when you didn’t say goodbye, instead of liking you, I let myself hate you a little.” 

“Marcus I–” Sejanus stopped mid thought, eyes still trained on Marcus face. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” 

“Well, I’m telling you now aren’t I?” Marcus argued, looking back at Sejanus. “Besides, it doesn’t matter anyways, I'm as good as dead no matter what I do now.” 

“I’m determined to help you,” Sejanus declared, sitting up straight. “Whether you like it or not, I’m going to find a way.” 

“Sej, there’s nothing you can do. I can’t watch you get hurt because of me, and that's exactly what’s going to happen. That’s exactly what's happening.” Marcus took a deep breath and looked at Sejanus with tear- filled eyes. “He died because of me and I can't do that to you.” 

“I’m stronger than you think, Marcus. I can handle myself.” Sejanus spoke softly. “I’m not him, no matter how alike we are.” 

“You do look a lot alike,” Marcus repeated, a tear running down his cheek. Sejanus instinctively wiped it away. 

The two sat in the same spot, breathing each other in, shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. If Sejanus focused hard enough he could hear Marcus’ rapid heartbeat. He wondered if Marcus could hear his. 

“I’m sorry about your father,” Marcus spoke into the air, he turned his head to face Sejanus, not breaking contact. “What happened?” 

“It’s not worth the breath,” Sejanus sighed, “He was drunk, he hit me. It’s the first time I’ve seen him in two months. I guess it was bound to happen.” 

“Doesn’t make it right,” replied Marcus, shoving his shoulder against Sejanus’. “I meant what I said that day– when your finger–” he cleared his throat, “I meant what I said about him.” 

“I know you did,” Sejanus mumbled, “It's just not an option.”  

Marcus sat watching Sejanus, seeming to study his every move. When Sejanus nervously played with his hands, Marcus watched. When his gaze drifted while he talked, Marcus’ eyes followed. 

“How did you know? All these years I always wondered.” Sejanus asked, looking at Marcus. He could feel his hot breath hit his face. “No one knew. No one knows, still.” 

Marcus looked away anxiously, like he’d done something wrong, then cleared his throat, and began to speak. 

“On the way home from school I would always walk by your house, and each day I’d check to see if the light was on and your Ma was home. She would always bake pies in the evenings that smelt so good.” Marcus chuckled, the bit about his Ma bringing a smile to Sejanus’ face. He watched Marcus look at him and smile back. Sejanus felt his ears flush. 

“One day, I was walking by and I noticed that Ma wasn’t home when she usually was at that time of day. But, I did see a man in the kitchen, yelling at some one. I didn’t know who it was or what to do and before I could walk away the door swung open, your father dragged you out by your ear and I just watched him hit you. You didn't even put up a fight.” 

Marcus turned his body this time, to face Sejanus, and leaned forward. “I should have stopped him. I should have said something . I wanted to help you but I was afraid. I should have done something and he wouldn’t have hit you.” 

“That’s not your fault, Marcus.” Sejanus turned to face him as well, their knees touching as they sat across from each other. “We both know that he would have done it even if you had said something. And you didn't do nothing, you told me to run. You were the only person who cared enough to do something about it. You’ll never understand what that meant– what that still means to me.” 

“It does?” asked Marcus, Sejanus nodded. Marcus took a brave breath and reached forward, running his finger over the spot Strabo had hit him. He winced slightly and stared back, trying to even out his breathing. Marcus moved his hand and brushed a stray curl out of Sejanus’ face. “You’re stronger than you look, Sejanus, we both know that as true. So prove it.” he finished.

Sejanus wasn't sure what to say. He never had someone believe in him so deeply. As he matched Marcus’ gaze, he noticed how his golden brown eyes looked darker in the dead of night, his features looked softer. Sejanus felt a strange warmness fill his stomach, as his heart fluttered in his chest. He placed a hand on his chest, feeling his rapid heart beat below his skin. 

Suddenly embarrassed, Sejanus cleared his throat and sat up straight, Marcus still sat across from him, who’s eyes were trained on the boy. 

“I’ve gotta get going, Ma’s gotta be worried sick. But I’ll be back– I swear I’m going to try my hardest to save you, Marcus. Whatever it takes.” promised Sejanus, looking Marcus in the eyes. “I know you don’t want my help, but you really don’t have a choice.”

“Sejanus–” Marcus started, before Sejanus swiftly cut him off, not even giving him the chance to refuse. 

“I don’t care. This isn’t negotiable.” Sejanus spoke, placing a gentle hand on Marcus’ shoulder. “Meet me here tomorrow at 12pm. It's Sunday, so the Peacekeepers who arent busy with their days off are stretched thin. They're never around the river. We can talk about getting you out of here. We’ll make a plan.” Sejanus stood up, looking down at Marcus still sitting on the ground. 

“Alright? I’ll see you tomorrow.” Sejanus finished. He fixed his strap on his shoulder and turned around on his heals. 

“Fine,” Marcus finally spoke. “Under one condition.” 

Sejanus stopped in his tracks and turned around, gripping onto his backpack strap hanging off his shoulder. “And that is?” 

“You have to let me save you too.” Marcus declared, Sejanus cocked his head in confusion. What does that mean? Marcus, almost as if he read Sejanus’ mind, continued. “I’m going to help you show your father just how strong you can be.” 

Chapter Text

When Sejanus arrived home, not 10 minutes later, the living room was empty. It was exactly how he’d left it, excluding his father. There was a stain on the floor, caused by the tipped-over alcohol bottle to its left. The lamp on the fireplace where his father stood was across the room, shattered. 

Knowing his father wouldn’t do anything about the mess, Sejanus cleaned it. He put the lamp in the large garbage bin in the garage and cleaned the alcohol up with some dish soap and warm water, a trick Ma told him when he was old enough to clean up his father's messes. 

Exhausted, Sejanus stumbled back to bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes before he fell asleep, not waking until the next morning. 

The sun shone through his open curtains and somehow a ray of sunshine got lodged into Sejanus’ eye, waking him up instantly from his slumber. Sejanus tossed in bed, turning to the other side, then hissed when he laid on his already bruised cheek. He could tell just by the feel of it and was confirmed to be right when he looked in the mirror moments later. 

Great. Now he’s gotta cover this up so everyone, especially Ma, doesn’t see. 

Sejanus spent all morning trying his hardest to cover up his bruise. He used an old concealer of Ma’s that he borrowed the last time this happened, a product older than him. He set it with some white face powder, also Ma’s, and inspected his work in the mirror. It wasn’t too bad, definitely got the job done, but could be better. He’d blame the darkness around his eye on an improper sleep schedule. 

It was Sunday, meaning his mother was off to Church, and Sejanus could slip out of the house without her noticing. It seemed his father had gone with her, and Sejanus took it as an opportunity to check the news. He wasn’t surprised to see Lucky still covering the attack from the comfort of his workstation downtown. Sejanus rolled his eyes and almost turned it off until the list of injured and deceased students was shown on screen. 

Coriolanus Snow, Androcles Anderson, and Gaius Breen were still in the hospital being treated, but as Lucky had announced, the Ring twins Apollo and Diana Ring had died. Sejanus felt his heart drop, two more of his classmates were dead. He never would have thought that any of this would have happened, let alone that any of them would die. Sejanus was terrified, what if he was next? 

He couldn’t help but keep watching. The list of dead children was growing and the games hadn’t even started.  The two tributes from District 6 had been killed in the same explosion that killed the Ring twins. When the tributes from Districts 1 and 2 tried to make a run for it, the kids from One were shot down and the girl from Two made it to the river only to die from a fall while climbing a wall. Not to mention Marcus, who was on the run, scared, and perceived dangerous. 

Sejanus turned off the broadcast after a while and left the living room with a feeling of unease, at least glad that Coriolanus was alright. 

He walked down to the kitchen, a small nook tucked into the western 2nd floor of their apartment. As he pushed through the doors, he was quickly surrounded by his mother. The kitchen, where Ma spent most of her time, reminded him of home back in the districts. Picture frames littered the walls, mostly of Sejanus as a child, and their family back in District 2. Sejanus walked the walls, inspecting the pictures he hadn’t looked closely at in years. His youthful face stared back at him, almost taunting. Sejanus’ heart sank, feeling sorry for the boy he was and the man he’d become. 

Quickly shaking off any unneeded self-deprecation, Sejanus took a sharp turn toward the kitchen, stuffing some leftovers of his mother's meatloaf sandwiches and a couple of oranges into his bag. Sejanus rushed out the door at 9:30, allowing himself plenty of time before his parents returned home from Church. 

As he made his way through the streets of the Capital he was relieved to see the lack of Peacekeepers, or anyone for that matter, around. He’s learned that Sunday afternoons always proved to be the most peaceful ones, with no one around for miles. 

Especially on hot days such as today, where Sejanus could feel the sweat producing on his skin the moment he stepped out onto the grass. A little heat meant people stayed inside, which meant even more quiet. Sejanus grinned to himself and stepped forward towards the river. 

Eventually, he arrived, sweat dripping down his neck and clothes stuck to his skin, Sejanus leaned down to pet one of the stray cats purring down by his feet. He scratched her head, both of them recognizing each other from years prior, and she pushed up into his hand. Sejanus laughed softly and picked her up, smiling as she rubbed her face on his shoulder. 

He made his way over to the hidden tree with his new tortoiseshell companion, the cat slung over his shoulder, riding him like a float in the Capital Parades during holidays. Sejanus thought back to Arachne's funeral and immediately cringed. 

When he walked up to the tree, the cat still slung on his shoulder, he was met with Marcus laying on his back right where they sat the night before, his legs crossed in front of him, basking in the sun rays. He flinched when Sejanus greeted him. 

“Hey,” Sejanus spoke. Marcus snapped his head to look at him, suddenly sitting up straight. 

“Don’t scare me like that,” Marcus mumbled, standing up to greet Sejanus. “I see you’ve got a friend here.” Marcus grinned, letting the cat smell his hand. He was standing close to Sejanus, whose shoulder was being occupied by said cat. Sejanus could smell the remnants of the monkey enclosure on him. He frowned inwardly. 

“I do,” Sejanus smiled, looking at the feline on his shoulder. She was purring now, rubbing her cheeks into Marcus’ fingertips. The boy smiled at the cat, and Sejanus noted that he liked Marcus’ smile. It was soft and kind, yet formed into a small smirk at the right corner of his mouth. 

Sejanus cleared his throat, and pressed his lips together, looking warily at Marcus. 

“How’d you– um– How’d you sleep?” Sejanus asked, which made Marcus stop scratching the cat's chin and look at Sejanus. “Stupid question, sorry. I’m just– Yeah, I’m just nervous, but what else is new?” Sejanus laughed, and unlike his father, Marcus didn’t join.

“I slept fine, if you must know. Your tree is very nice.” Marcus answered, continuing to pet the cat still stationed on top of Sejanus. 

“Well it’s hardly mine,” Sejanus laughed, lifting the small cat from his shoulder, hissing his breath in when her long claws latched into his skin, not wanting to be moved. He handed her to Marcus, who seemed reluctant to hold her. “She doesn’t bite.” 

Marcus accepted wordlessly, carefully and cautiously supporting the cat. 

Sejanus noticed that something about Marcus had changed. He couldn’t quite place a finger on it, yet through their afternoon together, he noticed more and more. The way he held himself, his caution when picking which words to use. It was almost like he was nervous about Sejanus. He could infer why. 

“I can’t do it, not with you.” Marcus' voice rang through his head, bouncing into the corners of his brain until all of his thoughts were about his eyes, his chin, his posture. Everything about him drove Sejanus crazy. How could he believe in him so blindly, after all that's happened? 

Nerves were gnawing at his chest as the two of them sat together under the weeping willow, this time they sat facing each other, Marcus back against the boulder and Sejanus on the opposite side. They were speaking about why Marcus had run away when Sejanus asked a question that triggered an interesting response in Marcus. 

“Did you know there were bombs in the arena?” 

Marcus tensed, straightening his back. “What do you mean?” Suddenly on the defensive.

“I just mean– Right before they went off you looked like you were about to get sick, I just– We have to cover all our bases here, Marcus,” Sejanus argued, sticking to his gun. 

“No, Sejanus, I didn’t know. I saw the opportunity after the first bomb and took it. I’m not a rebel sympathizer.” Marcus pushed, avoiding eye contact with Sejanus. 

“I never said you were,” Sejanus replied cautiously, trying to be careful with his words.

 He watched Marcus deflate in front of him, almost as if he was losing all of the air in his lungs. 

“Here.” Sejanus grabbed his bag, pulling out the sandwiches and oranges from Ma’s kitchen. He passed one to Marcus. “Certainly you’ll take food from me now.” 

Marcus seemed to snap out of his daze and sit up, a small smile forming on his lips as he did. He shook his head and grabbed a sandwich, opening the tinfoil wrapped around it. Sejanus rejoiced, relieved that he finally accepted. One step at a time, Sejanus reminded himself. 

“I’m sorry, I guess I’m still a little on edge.” Marcus sighed, taking a bite of the sandwich. Sejanus watched as his face melted in pleasure, probably not having eaten for as long as he’d been in the Capital. “Fuck these are good. You make this?” 

Sejanus shook his head, looking down to hide his grin. “No, Ma did.” 

“Of course she did.” Marcus chuckled, taking another large bite, already halfway through the sandwich. “Did Ma make those sandwiches you brought to the zoo?” 

Sejanus nodded, watching Marcus carefully. 

“If I knew she made them maybe I would've had one.” Marcus joked, a smirk dancing on his lips. 

“You're an asshole,” Sejanus laughed, reaching over and shoving Marcus’ shoulder. The boy opposite him laughed along as well. Sejanus quieted and listened, he realized he’d never heard Marcus laugh before. He had a nice laugh, clean and abundant. 

“Yeah, well, what else did you expect?” Marcus replied, a hint of his laugh intertwined with his words. He took another bite of the sandwich, groaning softly in response. 

Sejanus sat and watched as a silence fell over them. Cascading down from the weeping willow branches, covering them completely. The silence felt appropriate for the moment. All around them, birds chirped, communicating through their strings of song. Sejanus looked up, smiling to himself. He’d forgotten just how safe he felt when he was under this tree, it felt like the world couldn't touch him. 

He looked back down at Marcus, enjoying the last bite of his sandwich. The air between them didn't feel tense like it had last night. In the light of day, on a lazy Sunday afternoon, Sejanus and Marcus felt a sense of calm wash over them. 

“I don't want to talk about it,” Marcus broke the silence, his eyes drifting all over Sejanus’ face. “I don't want to talk about my inevitable death when it's so nice outside.” 

Sejanus chuckled, watching as Marcus did as well, and opened his mouth to speak when a small tree branch snapped, causing both of them to look where the sound came from. Sejanus’ eyes were met with a lone Peacekeeper, yet to see them, scanning the area. 

“Fuck,” Sejanus mumbled, looking at Marcus who looked like he might be sick, just as he did at the arena. Sejanus stood up, still covered by the sheer size of the boulder, and grabbed Marcus’ arm, yanking him up from where he sat. 

“Go hide, I'll take care of this. Do not come out until I tell you to.” Sejanus demanded, shoving Marcus behind him. Marcus stumbled over his feet, quickly running behind the tree line to hide. Sejanus looked away, not wanting to know where he was, and took a deep breath. He mustered all the courage he had in his body and stepped out towards the Peacekeeper. 

“Everything alright, sir?” Sejanus asked, watching as the Peacekeeper turned toward him and pointed his gun. He tried to keep level breathing as the Peacekeeper spoke. 

“Stay right where you are.” The Peacekeeper warned, waving his gun at Sejanus. “Back up against the tree. I’m going to need to see some Capital ID.” 

“It is in my bag sir, if you’d let me grab–” Sejanus started, quickly cut off by the Peacekeeper. 

“I can get it, young man. Where is your bag?” The Peacekeeper asked, Sejanus pointed him to it, over by the sandwiches around the corner. 

Sejanus took a deep breath, leaning against the trunk of the tree. He hoped that Marcus had hidden himself sufficiently, though he trusted him to, Sejanus still couldn't help the burning anxiety sitting deep in his stomach. 

After what felt like forever, yet was just a few seconds, the Peacekeeper returned with Sejanus’s pack. He handed it to him, still pointing his gun, and Sejanus shakily dug through it, fishing for his wallet. He eventually pulled it out, opened it up, and handed his ID to the Peacekeeper. The man grabbed it, inspected it, and handed it back to Sejanus with an apologetic look on his face, a complete 180 to the authoritative look he was sporting moments prior. 

“Mr. Plinth, I’m so sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused. We’re doing some routine sweeps, I just have to ask you a few questions.” The Peacekeeper ducked his head slowly, then looked back at him. 

Sejanus sighed inwardly and put on his best smile. 

“No problem, sir. And please, call me Sejanus, I’m afraid I’m not used to formalities like my father.” 

The Peacekeeper chuckled, and Sejanus was unsure if it was genuine or not. He brushed it off as the Peacekeeper cleared his throat and started his questioning. 

He asked why Sejanus was way out here, far away from the Financial Quarter where they lived. Sejanus gave his reasoning, saying he was trying to get away from the noise and relax on a Sunday afternoon. He added that he used to come here often as a child, which seemed to appease the Peacekeeper, who continued his questioning. 

“One last thing, Sejanus, and I apologize if this is a sore subject, seeing as the devastating act of rebellion happened just a few days ago. But, I must ask.” The Peacekeeper started, nerves building in Sejanus’ stomach. He swallowed hard, thickening his skin with every deep breath. “I’m sure you're aware that the tribute belonging to you , the boy from District Two has gone missing. You must be careful out here, son, he could be dangerous. You haven't seen or heard anything, have you?”

Sejanus took a deep breath trying to calm his body. Marcus’ body heat from behind him felt like it was radiating out and had struck Sejanus on the back of his neck, leaving a burning sensation. He shook his head at the Peacekeeper. 

“No, sir, I have not. I assure you that if I see him, I will report it to Dean Highbottom and Dr. Gaul immediately.” Sejanus bowed his head, peeking up at the Peacekeeper through his bangs. “Are there any updates with the search?” he asked, curiosity outstaging anxiety in his body. Sejanus figured he might as well try to get information from the guy while he was here. 

 The Peacekeeper lifted his eyebrows and leaned in closer to Sejanus holding his gun strap up on his shoulder. Sejanus could smell his breath, wreaking of coffee. 

“They say he’s underground in The Transfer, you know, the network of roadways under the Capitol.” The Peacekeeper spoke slowly as if they were being watched. “But that’s just speculation, we’re just beginning the search. It’s gonna get tight around here.” 

The Peacekeeper placed a hand on Sejanus’ shoulder, leaning so close Sejanus had to bend back away from him. “A pretty boy like you better be careful around here.” 

Sejanus immediately pushed away, respectfully smoothing his shirt. “Sir, I think I’ll be alright. My father taught me how to defend myself.” He spoke loud and clear, subconsciously lowering his voice. 

The man backed away, fixing his gun on his shoulder and then bringing his hands up to his hair to smooth it back.  “My condolences. Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Plin– Sejanus.” 

The Peacekeeper chuckled softly and bowed his head, turning on his heels to walk away. Halfway to the opening in the shrubbery he stopped, stalled for a moment, then turned back around. Without a word, he dug into his pocket and strode back to Sejanus. 

“I keep this on me just in case,” he started, finally finding what he was looking for in his pocket. He pulled out a small red pocket knife and gestured it to Sejanus. “They're doing pat downs when I get back, so I want you to have it.” 

“Sir, I can't take that,” Sejanus pleaded, respectfully refusing. He stared at the knife which stared right back at him, reflecting in the sunlight. 

“Stay protected out here, kid,” The Peacekeeper finished, shoving the closed pocket knife against Sejanus’ chest and letting go. Sejanus reached his hands out and caught it instinctively. He watched as the Peacekeeper walked away and ducked through the shrubbery, disappearing through the bushes where he came. 

Sejanus released the large breath in his lungs, letting his head drop between his shoulders. He looked at the knife in his hand, it looked new, most likely bought back in the Districts. Sejanus always hated knives, he loathed the feeling of it in his hand. He felt dirty like a film of shame was draped over his skin. 

“Property of Sejanus Plinth,” Marcus spoke up, walking out of the tree line. Sejanus whipped around and looked at him. “Has a good ring to it, I’m thinking of putting that on my tombstone. “Marcus Peacefield, Son, Brother. Property of  Sejanus Plinth. Sejanus Plinth the pretty boy I may add. Now that was weird.” 

“I told you not to come out until I say so, what if he comes back?” Sejanus asked, rushing towards Marcus. He ushered him behind the boulder, out of sight of anyone who may pass. 

“Then, we’ll use that knife he gave you to kill me with,” Marcus joked, though it felt flat as he said it. 

“He didn't give me this to kill you, you heard him,” Sejanus argued, tossing it in his bag. 

Marcus scoffed and stepped closer to Sejanus, closing him in against the boulder. Sejanus stepped back carefully, back hitting the rock. Marcus stayed where he was and gazed at Sejanus with a misplaced look. 

“So did you. Who do you think you need to protect yourself from?” Marcus taunted, taking a step closer. “You gonna use it on me, Mr. Plinth?” 

“Don't call me that,” Sejanus rolled his eyes, knowing what Marcus was doing. He’d be lying if he said he’d walk away if he could, the truth is, despite being cornered, Sejanus’s feet stayed glued where they were, watching as Marcus took another step closer. 

“Whatcha gonna do about it?” Marcus asked, crossing his toned arms over his chest. Sejanus watched as his muscles flexed when his arms moved. His gaze snapped back up to Marcus’ face, now towering over him. Sejanus’s chest pounded underneath him as he looked up.

“Cut it out, Marcus. We could have been caught– killed, even!” Sejanus exclaimed after a beat, placing his hands on Marcus’ chest and pushing him away. The boy stumbled back, his arms still crossed over his chest. 

“Oh come on Sejanus, I’m just joking with you.” Marcus chuckled dryly, “You need to loosen up, Sej. You're wound so tight, I can see it in your face. Nice makeup by the way.” 

“Fuck off,” Sejanus rolled his eyes. “I can't help but be wound up. My whole life I've felt like a tightly coiled spring about to pop.” 

Marcus uncrossed his arms, and turned on his heels, taking a step towards the rouge ray of sunshine peeking through the trees. The spot was taller than it was wide, and when Marcus laid down on his back, Sejanus stepped into the light next to him. They looked at each other, Matcus on the ground and Sejanus standing above him, then he sighed, laying down next to Marcus. 

Their shoulders, forearms, pinkies, and feet all met. 

Sejanus took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting the heat from the sun hit his face and arms. 

“Sejanus?” Marcus asked, after a moment of silence. After a beat, Sejanus shifted his head to look at Marcus, lying next to him. “Do you think they’ll kill me if they find me?” 

“Well, we can only hope we’ll never find out,” Sejanus replied, studying Marcus’ side profile. His dark skin seemed to glow in the sunlight, his nose being the center of all of it, pointing into the sky as he continued to look up. 

“How can you be so sure I’ll get out of here?” he asked, his brow furrowed. “I thought running would buy me time, not save me. I guess I didn’t think about it, I just–“ Marcus paused and sat up, Sejanus propped himself up on his elbows, watching as the brunette's face contorted. “I stepped into that arena and I could see it all happening so when the bombs went off I fled.” 

“I don’t blame you,” Sejanus sighed, playing with the grass below him. He picked some off the ground and laid it on his thigh. “Having you here has driven me crazy, I feel like my whole head is going to explode at any minute.” 

“Why?” Marcus asked, looking over at Sejanus. His eyes moved all over Sejanus, to his hands picking at the blades of grass, to his eyes and his mouth. “I don’t understand what’s so important about me. Why are you trying so hard to save me when all I’ve done since I’ve gotten here is drive you crazy?” 

“I–,” Sejanus started, sitting up fully to meet Marcus’ gaze. He couldn’t find the words but could feel them dancing on his tongue. “I care about you, Marcus. For some fucked up reason you dropped into my life again, and I can’t help but think it’s for a reason.” 

Sejanus paused and looked at Marcus right in the eye, the other boy couldn’t look away, he stared back. 

“You are the one person who’s believed in me. My whole life it’s always been poor, unlucky Sejanus. I often find myself singing the same tune. But, somehow when I look at your face, I don’t feel like I'm displaced in a world not met for me. I'm transported back into that school house with the first person to ever show me compassion.” 

Sejanus reached forward and grabbed Marcus’ forearm, his gaze switching from eye to eye. Marcus sucked in a breath as Sejanus leaned in closer, he stopped and tried to read his counterpart's face for any semblance of a sign to keep going. 

Then, as if everything fell into place, Marcus leaned forward, closing the distance between the two of them, and pressed his lips against Sejanus’. 

He stood still for a moment, his hand still gently laying on Marcus’ forearm. Then, as if everything clicked in his head, Sejanus moved, tilting his head to the side, deepening their kiss. 

The sun shone down on them, casting a bright light that shone through closed eyelids, illuminating the warmth that Sejanus felt. Soon Marcus surrounded him. He could smell the salt of dry sweat on Marcus’ skin. His lips tasted of freshly cut grass and bread, reminding Sejanus of summertime in District Two. His counters hands drifted down his arms and behind his back, embracing him further. 

Sejanus moved his hands up to Marcus’ brown hair, running a careful hand through it as they broke apart. Sejanus didn’t dare to open his eyes yet, he just took a breath in. Marcus and the falling sunlight around them filled his lungs. 

When he eventually did look, Marcus was already studying Sejanus’ face. The sight brought a blush to the apples of his cheeks. 

Marcus opened his mouth, almost breaking the silence that hung between them, but shut it promptly. They remained wrapped around each other, breathing in each breath from the same air. 

Sejanus wasn’t sure what to say, or if he should say anything at all. He wasn’t positive that if he tried any words would come out. He just breathed in the sunlight and watched as Marcus studied him. Sejanus shied away from his gaze, never having been so under examination. He suddenly became aware of the pimple brewing on his chin, the bruise by his eye, and the state of his face, eyebags and all. 

Yet, Marcus didn’t seem to care. He lifted a hand and slowly traced his finger along the bridge of Sejanus’ nose, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Sejanus furrowed his brow as he watched, but couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face. 

“What?” Sejanus finally spoke, his voice hoarse. 

“Nothing I just–“ Marcus paused and shifted uncomfortably, not lifting his hands from their place on Sejanus’ back. “I think you’re so fascinating.” 

“Me?” Sejanus laughed. Never once had that word ever been used to describe him. 

“Yes, you.” Marcus pushed his narrative, grabbing Sejanus’ sides with his hands., “You come here with me to save me, when really, am I all that worth saving? You bring me food and show me nothing but compassion and then you kiss me like that–“ 

“Actually, you kissed me,” Sejanus cut in. 

“Yeah, yeah whatever wise-ass,” Marcus smirked, shoving Sejanus playfully. “You’re an enigma, Sejanus Plinth. I can't figure you out.” 

Sejanus smiled, wider than he had in years. Marcus was ridiculous, spewing sappy nonsense like everything around them wasn't crumbling. But for some reason, unknown to himself, Sejanus listened. He watched as Marcus lifted his hand and gently pushed Sejanus’ bangs out of his eyes, scanning his face. He pressed his pointer finger to the middle of Sejanus’ brow. 

“I wish I could read your mind,” Marcus frowned. 

“No you don’t,” Sejanus chuckled, shaking his head. He tilted his chin down to hide his face, embarrassed by all the attention Marcus was giving him. It was odd, to be observed. 

“Then I’d know what’s going on in there,” Marcus pressed, his thumb tilting Sejanus’ chin back up, his other hand still resting on Sejanus’ side. Sejanus didn’t dare to move, he didn’t care to breathe, just watched Marcus carefully. 

“Not anything that matters right now,” he whispered.

Marcus shook his head and smiled, yet didn't argue. 

Chapter Text

After the night Sejanus had, upon arriving home at 4 o’clock in the morning, he fell face down onto his bed, a habit of his lately. Even as exhaustion ran through him, paired with his growing list of injuries, Sejanus couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking. 

Thinking about him. 

A grin grew across his face as his brain brought Marcus’ face to mind behind closed eyes. Sejanus wasn’t sure what was happening to him. It all confused and intrigued him. Marcus was a fugitive on the run, Sejanus aiding him. They’d kissed, and he was obviously attracted to Marcus, but where would any of this take him? It was all doomed. Sejanus lay in bed that night with so many questions left unanswered. 

How were they going to pull this off? Sejanus would give anything to at least know Marcus’ chances. It felt like they were shooting in the dark. 

After their kiss, Sejanus and Marcus stayed up all night trying to come up with a plan. Sejanus remembered seeing a map of all the emergency exits in the Capitol on his father's desk when he was a kid. The map had always puzzled him, if they were moving to such a safe, better place to live then why was his father studying a map of ways to get out?

Recalling back to the memory from childhood, as best as he could, Sejanus drew out a map of the Capitol on a sheet of paper from his school bag. 

Two options seemed the best routes, yet both of them had their flaws. But it seemed like any plan would, they were kids. Again– How are they going to pull this off? 

It was clear that Marcus wasn’t able to go home, as everyone would recognize him there, though they seemed unsure whether he’d be caught in the other Districts or not. 

At first, Sejanus recommended that he jump the train tracks and go through the Mountains that separated the Capitol from the lower-class Districts. The mountains were treacherous, the Capitol barely surveilled it because of the rough weather patterns, but they were impossible to cross. 

“No chance,” Marcus had said, “When he passed those Mountains on the ride here I’d never been so cold. And you know the stories in Two."

“Well, it’s looking like the plan that would work the best is the riskier one,” Sejanus sighed.

 He could go through the Transfer. A lot of the time they transport goods in and out of the Capitol to the Districts through railways underground. If they could find a way for Marcus to get into the transfer without being caught he could get on a cargo train and get a free ride to the Districts. It was the best chance Marcus had. Yet, Sejanus had some reservations. 

“They’re looking for you there, I’m not sure what tip-off they got but they’re convinced you're there.” Sejanus admitted after he explained the plan to Marcus. “It’s risky, you have a higher chance of getting caught this way, but it seems to be the best option we’ve got.” Sejanus told him. 

Sejanus wasn’t sure how much time they had left, but he was sure it wasn’t as much as they needed. They agreed that the day of the interviews, two days before the games, would be the best time to have Marcus find his way into the transfer. Peacekeepers would be stretched thin with the public event going on, involving civilians of the Capitol and Tributes within a couple feet of each other. Though it wouldn’t make that much of a huge difference, it was the best shot they had.

So, Sejanus made a plan to visit Marcus as much as he could. With a tribute not currently present, he suddenly didn’t see the purpose of showing up to the Mentorship Program meetings. The Academy had made it clear to the student body that the interviews with Lucky Flickerman were now voluntary. Sejanus hadn’t even wanted to go to his classes, but if his father found out he was skipping school, he couldn’t imagine good things would happen. 

 Monday morning, while a mentor-tribute activity was going on, Sejanus gathered a few things from his kitchen and headed south. He couldn’t help but have a grin on his face as he walked, though he tried to make himself small as he slipped through the Capitol streets. Marcus filled his every thought. When he wasn’t thinking about him, whatever he was thinking about would ultimately come back to Marcus. 

His mind ran in circles, yet the thoughts were not unwelcome. In fact, Sejanus found himself indulging, welcoming them with open arms. 

Marcus was handsome, and Sejanus couldn’t help but notice it. He was so tough on the outside, he always had been. But with Sejanus, he was kind, soft, and patient. He touched Sejanus with such purpose, yet had a delicacy with every move. 

Soon, Sejanus found himself ducking under shrubbery and through trees, until he entered the peaceful cover of the willow tree, dripping over him. He looked up, the morning sun was shining through the gaps in the leaves, covering him in sparkles of sunlight. 

When he turned the corner, he didn’t see Marcus. Sejanus panicked, looking around quickly. No sign of him in the tree line. He looked to his right, then his left. No sign of him anywhere. Sejanus turned around, starting to freak out, when he looked up and saw Marcus sitting on top of the boulder pressed against the trunk. 

Marcus smirked down at Sejanus, his legs crossed in front of him, his back straight and eyes bright. 

“Hi there, pretty boy.” Marcus finally said, his gaze catching Sejanus’. He blushed deeply, trying to keep a straight face. 

“You scared me, Marcus!” Sejanus scolded, crossing his arms over his chest. “How did you even get up there?” he puzzled, tilting his head slightly. He watched as Marcus stood up and leaned against the trunk of the tree. 

“You underestimate how bored I’ve been. I thought, ‘Could I climb that rock?’ and then I did.” Marcus shrugged, bracing himself on a branch in front of him. “Getting down is the tricky part.” 

Sejanus sighed and shook his head slowly backing up. He watched as Marcus launched himself forward, off the boulder, grabbed onto a low-hanging branch, swung, and jumped to the front of Sejanus, his legs wobbling as he landed. He looked up with a shocked look. Then, a smile quickly spread across his face.  

“You’re ridiculous,” Sejanus laughed, he couldn’t help but smile when Marcus looked at him like that. “You could have been seriously hurt.” 

Marcus took a step toward him, a softer smile now on his face. “That’d solve everyone’s problems, wouldn’t it?” 

Sejanus took a deep breath, taking a step forward as well, he reached out and grabbed Marcus’ hand hanging by his side. “Not mine.” 

Marcus looked down at him, being slightly taller, his eyes scanning all over Sejanus’ face. Sejanus looked up, trying to stand as tall as he could. Marcus’ lips taunted him as he leaned in, but didn’t close the gap. 

“Why do you say things like that?” Marcus asked, now letting go of Sejanus’ hand, moving to grab his waist instead. He pulled slightly and their bodies were flush against each other. 

Sejanus shrugged, not wanting to wait any longer. He stood up on the tips of his toes, closing the gap between them. They both let out a simultaneous sigh, melting into each other. 

Sejanus’ hands found their way into Marcus’ short hair, smoothing his palm down the stubbly hair on the back of his head. While his partner’s hands lay stationery, gripping his waist.

Marcus kissed every corner of Sejanus's mouth, he had a hunger for this kiss. Their previous one was gentle and careful, this kiss was lighting up parts of Sejanus's brain that he didn’t even know were there.

Sejanus had never been kissed before, but he was almost positive that it would never get better than this. 

Eventually, they pulled apart, both of them gasping for air. They stayed entangled, watching each other's faces. Sejanus was the first one to smile, letting out a soft laugh. 

“It’s good to see you too,” Sejanus spoke up, nervously placing a small peck on the corner of Marcus' mouth. The other boy replied with a smile, watching Sejanus’ face. 

“How long do I have you for?” Marcus asked, lifting his hand to Sejanus’ curls. He twisted one in his finger and let it drop. 

Sejanus flicked his hair out of his eyes. “An hour or two before class. They’re having mentor-tribute meetings right now in preparation for the interview.” 

“I guess so are we in a way.” Marcus quipped, smirking down at Sejanus. “I’m digging the uniform by the way. The red is very subtle, plus the skirt? They really pulled out all the stops.” Marcus teased, that goofy, giddy look on his face. 

Sejanus smiled, studying him closely. He noticed the dirt that had started to gather around his hairline from sleeping outside. He had a slight black and blue eye that he’d gotten one of the first days at the zoo, as well as other scratches and wounds from his time in the Capitol. 

Sejanus looked at Marcus’ left eyebrow, the hair was sparse near the arch, almost creating a perfect space between the beginning and end of his brow. It made him look ragged like he’d seen a thing or two. 

Sejanus remembered when it was a fresh cut. He had noticed that day, all those years ago. He brought up his hand and grazed his fingertips across the scar. 

“I remember this. Your mom always made you carry around a first aid kit.” Sejanus commented, mostly thinking aloud. 

“When I patched you up. How did those fingers ever heal by the way?” Marcus asked, stepping backward, but tugging Sejanus along with him. The boy complied, following Marcus until he sat near a small patch of sunlight at the base of the tree. Sejanus sat beside him, their shoulders touching as their hands remained entangled. 

Sejanus lifted his left hand and held up his ring and middle finger, the fingers he’d hurt that day. He offered his hand to Marcus, and he gladly accepted. 

“They healed okay, I got home that night and my parents broke the news about the move here. I hid it from them as long as I could. Once, when Ma was trying to teach me how to knit, she asked why my two fingers were kind of bent weirdly. I told her I didn’t know.” 

Sejanus held up his hand, showing off his slightly bent fingers, as he got older they looked better. He was guessing he broke them that day, and due to hiding it from his overbearing parents, they just never really healed right. He told Marcus this much, to which he laughed in response. 

For a moment they sat there, draped in sunshine, while the birds chirped around them, wishing each other a good morning. Sejanus looked up and took a deep breath, filling his lungs slowly, then holding it, only to release all the air in his lungs. 

“I wish you could have seen District 2 as we got older,” Marcus spoke first, his smooth voice gliding through the air. “White Christmas’ led to a rainy spring, which meant a beautiful summer. Claude and I used to do this all the time. Sit under willows and listen to the world. Sometimes he’d bring a book, or tell me a story. It was the best time.” 

Sejanus smiled, leaning his head on Marcus’ shoulder, tilting his head inquisitively up toward him. “Claude is the boy who looks like me?” 

Marcus nodded, letting his head rest on top of Sejanus’. He smiled, saddling up closer to Marcus’ perpetually warm skin. 

“Yeah, I met him a few years after you left. I was probably 12 or 13.” Marcus started, letting out a deep breath. “I think I liked him so much because he reminded me of you. I didn’t really have many friends and you were the only example of one I had.” 

“What was he like?” Sejanus asked, wanting to know more about Marcus’ life, it was such a mystery to him. 

“Take a look at yourself Sejanus, I am not kidding. It’s actually kind of creepy.” Marcus laughed, his shoulders shaking as he did. Sejanus laughed along with him. “He was smart and careful with his words, he was pretty like you. You guys have the same jaw.” Marcus spoke, turning to look at Sejanus. He smoothed his finger along the ridge of Sejanus’ jaw. The boy shied under the touch. 

“He also worried like you. About everything, I could never tell if it was his strongest or weakest trait. He was so cautious, sometimes to an unsettling degree.” Marcus added, still looking over at Sejanus. 

“How old was he when he died?” Sejanus bravely asked, taking a deep breath and holding it in. When Marcus' face contorted to a certain fondness and not anger, he breathed out, letting all the air escape from his lungs. 

“He was 17, I was 16.” Marcus sighed, turning toward Sejanus. “I got in with a certain group after the first Hunger Games. They were rebels hiding in District 2. He was part of them. I never liked the games, I thought they were barbaric. I think that’s what made me hate you more coming here, that you escaped them.” 

“Did I?” Sejanus asked, thinking about his life the past few weeks. Marcus laughed in response, shrugging his shoulders.

“I guess not,” he admitted, “Claude wanted the games to stop. They all worked so hard to try to find a way. Then one night, he and I were camping outside the Peacekeeper training facility trying to gather intel. I made him bring me along.” Marcus paused, closing his eyes slightly. 

“I was a kid. I liked him. Two drunk Peacekeepers showed up and found us. We had gotten distracted. I distracted him, and the next thing I knew they grabbed him, hauling him to their truck.” Marcus took a deep breath before he started again. “I wasn’t sure what to do. So I ran. I left all our stuff there, I left him there and I ran.” 

Sejanus stayed quiet, his attention completely on Marcus. Sejanus's thumb was moving in a circle, gently rubbing the skin on Marcus’ hand. Every time he paused, his hand squeezed Sejanus’, almost as if he was looking for support. Each time Sejanus squeezed back, letting him know without his words that he was there. 

Marcus took a shaky breath with a determined look on his face, he opened his mouth to speak. 

“They hung him the next day. I saw him on the way to school. His face was covered but I knew it was him.” Marcus opened his eyes, immediately fixing them on Sejanus. Sejanus could see tears collecting in them. “I wasn’t even supposed to be there that night with him. No one knew.” 

A tear fell from Marcus’ left eye first, then his right, and before Sejanus could open his mouth to speak, Marcus continued. 

“If something were to happen to you because of me, Sejanus, I’d never forgive myself,” Marcus spoke. “I’m afraid that might happen if you keep coming here to see me.” 

Sejanus shook his head, “I don’t care. I gave you my word. I promised I’d help you, Marcus.” 

“Sejanus I–“ Marcus started, looking directly at Sejanus, almost as if the gates had opened, the tears flooded out of Marcus’ eyes, as a sob ripped through his throat. 

Sejanus quickly leaned forward and tugged Marcus toward him, to which the other boy collapsed into his lap, his head being cradled on Sejanus's chest. He smoothed his furrowed brow with his thumb and ran his fingers through black hair. 

“It’s okay,” Sejanus cooed as Marcus tried to speak but ultimately failed. The only other time he’d seen Marcus cry was Arachne’s funeral. The image of the display they’d made that day sent chills down his spine. When his gaze met tearfilled eyes, Sejanus was puzzled, but now he understood. 

 Sejanus wanted to cry with him, every emotion he’d felt for Marcus his whole life had intensified the last few days, and in this moment, they felt the biggest they had yet. “You’re okay.” 

They sat there for a moment, Sejanus reassuring Marcus as he caught his breath, still clinging to Sejanus’ red school uniform. Then, Marcus sat up slightly, leaning his head against Sejanus' shoulder just as he had a moment prior. 

“I don’t care about any of that, Marcus,” Sejanus finally spoke up, “I want to make a change, and this is how I start. By saving you. You’re all that matters. Not the Mentorship Program or the Academy or the games, not any of it matters.” 

He spoke into the air in front of them, his words drifting out into the openness of the enclave, dancing in the air. Marcus and Sejanus watched them, and then Marcus sat up, looking purposefully at Sejanus. 

“You should come with me,” Marcus said, making direct eye contact with Sejanus. 

Sejanus paused, shocked by the statement. 

“What?” He said, finally. 

“Come with me,” Marcus repeated. 

“Yes, I heard you.” 

“It’s not ridiculous, Sejanus.” Marcus scoffed

“It is Marcus,” Sejanus argued. Admittedly, he’d thought about it. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t leave Ma. Not to mention, if they failed the consequences with his father would be dire. 

“Why? What kind of life do you have here? Look at the people you’re surrounded by, look at your life now. What difference could you make in the Capitol?” Marcus asked, and they were all good questions. Questions Sejanus didn’t have the answers to. “Escape to the Districts with me, we can fake our deaths so they don’t come looking for us. We can make a difference out there.” 

“Marcus,” Sejanus laughed, his brow furrowing. “Listen to yourself. Fake our deaths? That’s crazy!” 

“This whole thing is crazy!” Marcus exclaimed, a few blue jays flew out of the tree. “Sejanus if we want to make a difference it’s not going to be here, living with your father. What future would you even want here?” 

“I–“ Sejanus paused, looking down at his lap, ashamed. “I’m not sure.”

“Then, what’s holding you back?” Marcus asked, once again lifting Sejanus’ chin to look at him. 

“I’m scared,” Sejanus admitted, his voice sounding smaller than he wanted it to. 

It was the truth, he was scared, his whole life he was scared. Scared of his father. Scared of moving. Scared of the kids at school. Scared, scared, scared. Always scared. It was debilitating. He wanted to stop so desperately, but he had no idea how.

“You think I’m not?” Marcus asked, grabbing Sejanus’ arm. “All the damn time. We can be scared together.” 

Sejanus grinned, a giddy feeling bubbling through his chest, he looked at Marcus, the sun shining on his face, looking so stoic and brave while admitting his faults. That’s when Sejanus realized they were the same, and they had always been the same. Just two scared kids, stuck in a world so backward they couldn’t tell up from down. 

Yet somehow, though it felt like a whole different life, they found each other again. And by some chance, Sejanus was determined to make sure they both made it out alive. He smiled wide, to which Marcus cocked his head to the side. Sejanus then quickly launched himself toward the boy, grabbing into his chest and tackling him to the ground. The wind blew out of both of them as laughter left their chests when they hit the ground. 

“God damn!” Marcus cursed, looking up at Sejanus who was now lying on top of him. “What was that for?” He grinned, his mouth quirking at the end.  

“You are unlike anyone I’ve ever known in my entire life, Marcus Peacefield.” Sejanus beamed, taking in every moment as slow as he could. 

“Right back at you, Sejanus Plinth.” 

Later that day, Sejanus sat in his classroom where everyone looked at him and thought one thing. He was the outcast, the different one. He wasn’t born here, wasn’t raised here. He didn’t share the experiences they all had in common. Sejanus knew it showed, of course, it did, his nervousness and perceived outlandish opinions put a target on his back. 

When Dr. Gaul singled him out in class, asking where his Tribute was, he wasn’t surprised. He’d actually been prepared for it, he and Marcus had spoken about it. 

“You have to play the fool,” Marcus advised him, “They can’t know you know anything, but they also can’t know you don’t know anything.” 

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Sejanus had deadpanned back, trying to fight the smile rising on his lips. 

In the present, Sejanus sat as tall as he could in his seat, scowling at Dr. Gaul. 

“Possibly on his way to freedom,” said Sejanus trying his hardest to will his voice not to shake. “Possibly captured and under wraps. Possibly injured and hiding. Possibly dead. I've no idea. Do you?” 

Sejanus took a deep breath, not breaking eye contact with her. Before she was able to open her mouth to reply, Sejanus cut in.

“No, don't answer." Sejanus spat at her. She didn’t flinch. “He's either dead or about to be, when you catch him and drag him through the streets in chains.” 

He felt the burning sensation of tears collecting in his eyes, he blinked rapidly, as Dr. Gaul looked at the rest of the room and replied. 

“That’s our right.” 

Sejanus sighed inwardly, not letting her see him fumble. He shook his head, scoffing at her statement. He was tired of hearing that excuse. Every brainwashed Capitol citizen spoke the same way, almost as if reading off cue cards. It was infuriating! His father was just like the rest of them. Cruel, senseless monsters who don’t care about a single person but themselves. 

Sejanus’ eyes looked around the room and saw everyone staring at him, he needed to get out of here.

“No, it isn't!” Sejanus exclaimed, practically jumping up from his seat. “I don't care what you say. You've no right to starve people, to punish them for no reason. No right to take away their life and freedom.”

Those are things everyone is born with, and they're not yours for the taking. Winning a war doesn't give you that right. Having more weapons doesn't give you that right. Being from the Capitol doesn't give you that right. Nothing does.” 

He turned and looked toward the door, ignoring everyone’s looks of judgment that were being cast upon him. 

There goes sensitive Sejanus again. Sejanus causing a scene yet again, doesn’t he know when to stop? 

But he couldn’t, he couldn't stop no matter how hard he tried.

“Oh, I don't even know why I came here today.” Sejanus finished, sprinting toward the door handle. He could have spent the day with Marcus, skipped school, and come up with a plan of getting them out. 

When he went to turn the door handle, it was locked from the outside. Sejanus' stomach dropped as he turned to Dr. Gaul and saw the same smug grin she always wore, plastered on her face. 

“Locking us in now? It's like our own little monkey house.” Sejanus challenged, stepping toward the professor. 

“You have not been dismissed,” replied Dr. Gaul, her expression unchanging. “Sit down, boy.”

“No,” Sejanus continued, staying strong in his stance. He channeled Marcus’ fearlessness as much as he could, fueling him to continue to keep going.

“It's locked from the outside. The Peacekeepers have orders to leave us undisturbed until notified. Sit down, please.” Dean Highbottom spoke up from the back of the room, dazed eyes glancing over to Sejanus. 

“Or should we have them chaperone you somewhere else?” Dr. Gaul started again, smiling over at him. “I think your father's offices are nearby.”

Sejanus went still at the mention of his father, still seething in anger. His hands started to shake as he stared at Dr. Gaul, keeping his stance at the front of the classroom. His peers’ gazes burned holes into the back of his head, all watching and waiting. 

“There’s an empty seat by me,” Coriolanus spoke up, cutting through the tension in the room like butter. Sejanus released the breath he was holding, his head snapping toward his blond classmate. 

He deflated, realizing how irrational he was being. If he wanted real change this wasn’t the way to do it. Though, anger still ran through his veins, pumping adrenaline and delusion that he was the one in the right here. 

He sulked back down the aisle, placing himself upon the stand next to his friend, giving him a small nod. He grabbed onto his backpack still strapped to him, anchoring him down to the classroom, fearing that if he let go he’d float away into the ceiling, drifting above as the corruption continued below him. 

He wished Coriolanus would stop standing up for him. He can make it on his own, even if other people don’t think so. He doesn’t need saving all the time. Sejanus was determined to prove to everyone that he wasn’t weak and that they’d always been wrong about him. 

Sejanus decided, in that moment as he tuned out the discussion that continued around him, that he was going to make a real change. No matter the cost. 

Sejanus had never been a liar. When he was a kid, Ma had caught him in a really bad lie, he can never remember what it was, all he remembers was how disappointed she was that he lied to her. From that point on Sejanus hadn't lied to Ma once. He hadn't seen the need to.

He tried his hardest to settle the guilt that rose in his body when he told Ma that he was able to sleep in due to not having to attend the morning meetings happening this week in preparation for the interviews. 

This statement was based in fact, Sejanus wasn’t able to attend the Tribute-Mentor meetings, therefore he was able to go to school later. In reality, he was sneaking out to see Marcus, but it wasn’t like he could just tell Ma this. He needed to do this on his own. 

So he kept it a secret, he’d lock his door and sneak out down the old fire escape outside his window, making his way over to their tree.

The beginnings of his mornings mostly consisted of kissing Marcus, which was a terrible waste of their time– time they could have spent planning to get Marcus out of the Capitol alive– yet they couldn’t stop. It’s almost as if their mouths were magnets of opposite poles, pulling toward each other at any moment. 

This lasted for about half an hour until the initial excitement of seeing each other settled, and the reality of the situation set in, they found their favorite spot under the weeping willow and went over their plan. They’d often get distracted, either by each other or by conversation, and then Sejanus would have to go off to the Academy. Which ensued the goodbye kisses, which were way more intense than the hello kisses, and Sejanus was reluctantly on his way to school. 

Halfway into the week, their plan didn’t have much substance, and as Sejanus sat beside Marcus, he could feel hesitation and disdain for the plan seeping out of him and into the air. 

He hadn’t known what to do, and though he tried to comfort Marcus in the moment, he also had his reservations. 

Sejanus was in the middle of explaining something, words coming out of his mouth that he wasn’t even aware of, on autopilot merely spewing information at Marcus. He watched as the boy across from him started to frown, tears collecting in his eyes. Then, as he looked down, two teardrops fell from his eyelids and onto the grass below them. Sejanus shut his mouth and stood still, not sure what to do. 

Marcus kept looking at the ground, hands below him busy anxiously picking apart the grass. He sniffled, and brought his hand up to his nose, rubbing it slightly. Sejanus promptly reached into his bag pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, handing it to Marcus. 

The boy smiled and accepted it, leaning forward and placing his forehead on Sejanus’ shoulder. He sniffled again, and Sejanus brought his hands to Marcus’ back, rubbing it softly. 

“I’m so scared, Sej,” Marcus finally spoke, his voice wobbling. Sejanus sighed, wrapping his arms around Marcus now. “If this doesn’t work and they find me, I can't even imagine what they’ll do. They’ll kill me or worse.” 

Sejanus wasn’t sure what to say, he wasn’t sure how to comfort Marcus. He agreed the Capitol was scary, and he would be a liar if he said he hadn’t thought the same thing. But, they couldn’t afford to think like that. There was no time for ‘What if?’s. They had to act here and now. 

After a long pause, Sejanus still unsure what to say, Marcus sighed, his eyes and cheeks red. 

“I’m going to try so hard, Sejanus. I swear to you. I am going to give this all that I’ve got, and when I get out of here I won’t give up until you can too.” 

Sejanus sat silent once again, this time scanning Marcus’ face. His eyes ran over all of his favorite features he’d noticed the past few days. The scar on his eyebrow, the slight green tint in his brown eyes, his lips. He was so overcome with emotion, that he didn’t know what else to do than to open his mouth and start speaking. 

“I don’t know what the future holds for me.” He started, taking Marcus’ hand in his own. “All I know is that it can't be here. But, I can't just leave. I’ll find a way out, I’ll figure it out. And when I do, I'm going to find you, Marcus. I promise I'm going to find you.” 

“No matter what it takes,” Marcus replied, cupping his hand on the back of Sejanus’s neck, and looking into his eyes. “We’ll find each other.” 

“Yes,” Sejanus whispered, leaning closer to Marcus. “No matter what it takes.” He repeated, reiterating it within himself. 

This time was going to be different. Sejanus wasn’t going to run away like he had before. He was going to face this, head-on. 

No matter what it took. 

That last Saturday was the worst of them all. 

Leading up to it, Marcus and Sejanus talked about Marcus’ plan of escape. Friday night they ran through it step by step. Neither of them necessarily enjoyed talking about Marcus’ escape, they often found themselves waiting until they ran out of things to talk about to bring it up, which rarely happened. They both found escape in each other from the reality of their situation. 

Marcus’ journey would take all day, so he had to leave early in the morning. He’d make his way through the thick line of trees that separates the Districts and the Capitol. The Transfer was on the north side of town, them the south, so he had quite a bit of walking to do. 

From there, the trees faded into factories that outlined the transfer. Most of them were packing facilities since most of the goods were coming from the districts. Marcus was to hop onto an empty cargo shipment, ride it into the transfer, and then use the plumbing system that runs underground to navigate through the tunnels. 

All he had to do was travel East, find a tunnel with a train going the same direction, hop on, and get a free ride out to the districts. 

Their whole plan was based on luck. There were so many possibilities for Marcus to get caught. They both knew it and knew each other knew it, though neither of them said a word. Then, as Saturday rolled around, the day he was set to leave, all that changed.

Sejanus woke up early that morning, around 6 am, to meet Marcus in their usual spot where he’d be waiting. They’d go over the plan one last time, say their goodbyes, and Marcus would be on his way, starting his journey across the Capitol. 

He’d prepared a few things for Marcus’ journey. Including a backpack, a tarp for cover on the train, a few leftover sandwiches of Ma’s, and two bottles of water. As well as a fresh change of clothes. He knew he had to pack light since Marcus couldn’t carry much around, but he wanted to show his appreciation for the boy who had changed his life. 

Slowly, Sejanus made his way to their tree, dressed in his plainest clothes to not draw attention to himself. He ducked and twisted down the maze of streets and paths that led him to his destination, a journey he’d grown to get to know very well the past week. 

A few days ago, on a random day when he had no classes and nowhere to be, Sejanus took his time on his walk. Stopping to look at the city he’d lived in for the past decade of his life. It seemed so foreign to him, he’d never accepted it as his home, yet he looked around and recognized the things around him.

His eyes caught the lone apple tree that sat on the sidewalk near a park bench. Sejanus remembered how the apples tasted the summer he turned 14 and worked up the courage to steal one. 

As Sejanus sat on the wooden bench, under the shade of the apple tree, he ran his fingers across the wood and over the letters SWP, Sejanus Wright Plinth. He smiled, remembering when he did this. All of the kids at school had such extravagant names, being Capitol born and raised. Like always, Sejanus always felt left out. So, he started adding his mother's maiden name to the mix because he thought it sounded fancier. When his father found out, he was so angry he screamed at Sejanus until he was blue in the face. 

Present day, Sejanus ducked under low hanging branches, hands stuffed in bud pockets, and was met with Marcus standing waiting for him as he turned the corner. 

“Well hi there,” Sejanus greeted, walking up to Marcus. He grinned softly, rocking back and forth on his toes waiting for Marcus to respond. Instead, the boy stood there frozen.

 “Everything okay?” Sejanus followed up. 

“Yes,” Marcus answered quickly, sighing and looking down at his feet. “I’m not sure how to say this so I’m just going to do it.” 

“Okay–“ 

“But, you can’t respond until I'm finished.” Marcus cut in, pointing his finger to Sejanus’ chest. “Alright?” 

“Mhm,” Sejanus hummed, nodding slowly, his eyes fixed on Marcus and his obvious nervousness. Usually, his anxiety would cause Sejanus anxiety, but as he watched he found it endearing, it drew Sejanus in. 

He leaned in closer, Marcus surprisingly smelling pleasant, and a bit like lavender. Marcus’ eyes continued to stay transfixed on the ground, his hands in fists by his side. 

“I uh–“ Marcus started, clearing his throat. He looked up, standing up straight, Sejanus following along. Their gazes met, and Sejanus felt shy under his eyes, yet he stood proudly. 

“I love you,” Marcus said softly and simply, like they were the only words that made sense. “I know you’re going to get mad at me– and I told you not to speak so don’t make that face– but there’s a very real possibility I won't make it out of here alive.” 

Sejanus opened his mouth to speak immediately, to which Marcus slapped a hand over his lips before his vocal cords could form his protests. 

“Sejanus, please,” said Marcus, taking a deep breath. At that Sejanus nodded, moving Marcus’ hand from his mouth to his side, holding onto him steadily, trying to encourage him to continue. 

Marcus took another deep breath and spoke. 

“I didn’t know what was going to happen coming here. I just knew it was going to be terrible, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be like.” Marcus paused, squeezing Sejanus’ hand. “Never did I imagine that this would happen. That you would happen.

So, because of the real possibility of me dying today, I wanted to tell you before I won’t ever have the chance to. I love you, I’ve always loved you, and I’ll love you for as long as I exist, Sejanus Plinth.” 

The morning air seemed to hum above them, filling the silence with the chorus of birds chirping as they flew through the wind blowing between the tree branches. Sejanus looked at Marcus in front of him, eyes golden in the sun, and grinned, placing a hand on the side of his face. Marcus leaned into the touch. 

“Don’t reply,” Marcus mumbled, looking longingly at Sejanus’ face. “I don’t want you to reply. I know how you feel, the look in your eye is enough.” 

“I love you,” Sejanus whispered, voice slightly hoarse as tears stung behind his eyes. He was hoping he wouldn’t cry. He frowned softly, trying to stop it, but it was too late. 

Marcus grinned, bringing his hand up to Sejanus's cheek, wiping the freshly fallen tears off of them. 

“I don’t want to say goodbye,” said Sejanus, “I don’t think I’ll be able to.” 

“Then don’t,” Marcus replied, his hand brushing through Sejanus’ curls. “Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to kiss you, and you’re going to close your eyes and count to twenty.” 

“I’m afraid to close them,” Sejanus replied, not wanting Marcus to go. He knew it was time, he knew Marcus had to leave, but it was so hard. 

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Marcus chuckled, his hand laying flat over Sejanus’ rapidly beating heart, “I’ll see you again soon.” 

Sejanus pressed his lips together, trying to will his eyes not to cry again, so he closed them, his hand holding onto Marcus’. He could hear Marcus smile across from him, which made him smile in return, to which Marcus laughed and placed his hand on the side of Sejanus’ face. 

Soon, their mouths connected, the familiar feeling of soft lips grazing his own, only for them to push in hungry for more. Marcus tasted sweet like the blueberry muffin Sejanus had brought him for breakfast earlier in the morning. 

After a beat had passed, and a few tears shed, Marcus slowly pulled away, disappearing from before Sejanus’ face in an instant. Sejanus listened as Marcus paused for a moment, took a deep breath, picked up the bag Sejanus brought for him, and took a few steps. 

Sejanus began the countdown in his head 

20, 19, 18, 17… 

Marcus stopped, his footsteps stalling for a moment. Sejanus wanted to open his eyes, he wanted to see Marcus one last time, he felt like he hadn’t looked enough the last time he’d seen him. He wanted more time, he’d give anything for more time. 

Yet, he’s not sure he would be able to watch Marcus walk away from him. 

12, 11, 10, 9… 

The pause continued and Sejanus wondered if something had happened. Then, almost like he realized something, Sejanus heard Marcus take off in a jog northbound, rounding the corner of the tree and out of sight. 

3.. 2.. 1.. 

When Sejanus opened his eyes, sunlight overcame his vision. Slowly, as his pupils adjusted to the light, everything came into view: the boulder, the tree, Sejanus could even see Marcus’ footsteps in the fresh morning mud. His chest tightened, with no one there to see him, tears slipped freely down his cheeks as he let out a small sigh. 

He wouldn’t let himself think all the bad things he wanted to, he wouldn’t even consider it. He’d see Marcus again, he had to. 

What was all this for, then? 

Sejanus took a deep breath as he stood there, not having moved an inch from his place. He looked up, through the tree and into the sky, imagining himself as a bird soaring through the wind. 

Free from the Capitol, free from his father, able to go wherever he pleased without a care in the world. 

Sejanus took a deep breath and made himself a promise. He wouldn’t let himself get pulled back down, he wouldn’t let his fears ground him to the earth. He was tired of letting every anxiety he had control his life. It was time something changed. 

A few days later, everything would. 

Chapter Text

Sejanus could feel blood pooling between his fingers as he sat and stared.

When he was a kid and he’d get overwhelmed, he found the easiest and quickest way to ground himself back into his body was to dig his nails into his palms. It started light, the slight pressure in his palm reminding him he was alive, he was safe. Of course, it only got worse as time went on.

One night, after a particularly nasty fight between his parents, a 10-year-old Sejanus dug his nails in so deep that they bled all night. Even long after they had healed, he could see the scars for years. Since then, it hadn’t happened again. He learned to control his anger as he grew older, harming himself was never the way to go. 

That is until Monday morning, as Sejanus watched the camera zoom in on his worst fear coming to life. 

All weekend Sejanus was a nervous wreck. Unable to pay attention to anything going around him, his only focus was on one thought. The endless possibilities of Marcus’ fate. Sejanus had to take two anti-anxiety pills before leaving his apartment for the interviews. He was such a mess. 

The interviews passed by in a flash, he hadn’t really been paying attention. It was too much to bear. Lucy Gray sang a beautiful song, and as usual, as she sang, Sejanus was moved. Her voice was sweet and smooth but had a sort of roughness to it. 

Sunday was a blur as well, he attended classes in the morning, turning in his essay about what he loved about the war. When Dr. Gaul had picked on him to share, as expected, he told the truth. 

Sejanus flipped over his paper and read the first line. 

 “‘The only thing I loved about the war was the fact that I still lived at home.’” he looked up, and directly over to Dr. Gaul. 

Sejanus was tired, and he was sure it showed. Sleep was hard to come across, and he could hardly keep food down anymore since his stomach was in knots.

As the two argued back and forth, the classroom murmured their disapproval around Sejanus, cursing nasty things behind his back. Clearly, they didn’t agree with anything he had to say. Sejanus could even feel Coriolanus’ gaze burning into his back. Yet, he didn’t dare stand down. Not after everything he’d gone through. 

“May I ask, what did you love about the war, Dr. Gaul?” asked Sejanus, continuing to look her in the eye.

“I loved how it proved me right.” 

Sejanus hadn't known what she meant, and he had thought about it all night. He hated Dr. Gaul. She was to blame for all the terrible things happening around them, and yet she was just a product of her environment. The Capitol had weaponized her and used her to their benefit. Though she had given a willing hand, Sejanus couldn’t help but think she too was a victim of the system. 

He understood exactly what she meant as the screen opened, dawning over the arena. If he felt any sympathy for her before, he certainly did not now. 

All of the 14 remaining tributes stood in a circle, surrounding fallen rubble from the explosions a few days prior in the middle of the arena. While off to the side, the cameras slowly drew in closer, pulling everyone’s attention to the concrete beam. He hadn't been able to see what seemed to be hanging in the middle, but as the screen got closer, Sejanus knew right away. He was wearing the clothes Sejanus had seen him in that last morning, the clothes he’d been wearing since the Reaping.

It was Marcus, beaten and hanging bound by his hands, 10 feet above the ground. Sejanus had to stop himself from gasping, his stomach dropped into his feet as he stared up at the screen, fingernails ripping into the skin on his palms. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t take his eyes off him. 

Sejanus thought Marcus was dead. At first glance, anyone would think he was. His face was barely recognizable, it was beaten and bloody, swollen lips and eyes created a distorted monster covering up whatever semblance of a human was there previously. Yet, through all the bruises and blood and swollen skin Sejanus knew Marcus’ face. He knew it better than he knew his own. 

It was horrible. Marcus looked like he’d been tortured. He had swollen wounds all over his face and arms, bruises, and seeping wounds. He couldn't bear to think about what they’d done to him. To his Marcus. 

Sejanus felt sick, he almost looked away, almost was able to tear his eyes away from the screen until Marcus moved. The whole room realized at once that he was most definitely alive, being paraded on a stake for all of Panem to see. 

Sejanus was shaking, he couldn’t contain himself any longer. Blood collected in his palms as he dug his fingernails deep into his skin, hissing at the pain as he bled. They all watched as Marcus hung up between those posts, waiting for the games to begin. His swollen lips started to move, his mouth opening to form a word Marcus had spoken just about a thousand times in the last few days they’d spent together. 

“Sejanus,” Marcus called out, though there was no audio, and Sejanus wasn’t completely certain he wasn’t hallucinating, it was enough to send him launching from his seat before he could even think. 

Sejanus’ chair took off behind him as he slapped his bloody palm on an empty seat in front of him. With all his might, he threw the chair straight at the big screen in front of them, and right into Marcus’ bloody face. 

“Monsters!” Sejanus screamed, looking out at all his classmates and patrons there to watch the games. They all looked horrified back at him. “You’re all monsters here!” 

Rage coursed through his body as he stood in the front of the room. A mixture of disgust, sadness, and anger swirling around his head. 

Not knowing where else to go after causing the scene he had, Sejanus ran to the back of the room and pushed through the doors leading to the Academy Halls. He sprinted through the dimly lit halls, tears freely flowing from his eyes. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe, he could only see Marcus’ beat-up face everywhere he looked. Then, when he closed his eyes, he was lit up behind Sejanus’ eyelids. 

Eventually, Sejanus found his way out, stumbling out a side entrance of the school, and nearly tripping over his own feet in the process. As he broke out into the fresh air he stopped, panting hard to catch his breath. Then, as if he was punched in the gut, Sejanus leaned over his right and emptied the contents of his stomach into the bushes. 

His throat burned, his eyes stung, and his legs wobbled. Sejanus didn’t know where to go, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. His brain was so mixed up that he found himself going home, his legs taking him down the path he could remember the easiest. 

He’d puked three more times before arriving home, every time he pictured Marcus’ face he’d gag. Tears were permanently leaking down his cheeks, and as Sejanus approached his front door he realized what he had to do.  

There was nothing without Marcus. Sejanus was nothing without Marcus. The only person who cared about him was hanging alone, in the arena, while innocent kids died around him. While he died up there. The thought shook Sejanus’ entire body. He had to grip onto the doorknob so he didn’t fall. 

Sejanus had to go in there. Into the Arena. He had to see Marcus again, he was still alive in there wasn’t he? What if Sejanus could get to him in time? He doubted Marcus could make it out of there alive, Sejanus wasn’t even sure if he went in there he’d make it out alive. Still, he had to go, he had to say goodbye. 

Yet Sejanus was terrified, his legs shook under him as he gripped the handle of the Plinth's apartment. His worst fear, from the beginning of all of this, was coming true. He was going to enter the Arena, but nothing could change his mind. 

When he calmed down enough to turn the knob and open the door to his apartment, Sejanus was faced with his father sitting alone on the couch, projector paused on his face back at the Academy. 

Immediately, Sejanus was tense. He wasn’t sure what to do, or what to say. His father had heard him come in, but he was sitting with his arms crossed staring at the image. 

“Pa…” Sejanus said nervously, he hadn’t called his father that since they lived in District Two. The phrase caused Strabo to turn his head around, looking right over at Sejanus. He didn’t speak, just watched until the boy spoke up again. “Why did you do it? Why would you buy me a tribute from home? I knew him. He was my friend.” 

“Can't you see?” Strabo said plain and simple, looking back over to the projector. He pressed play on the remote control, his storming out playing through, then back to Lucky Flickerman, who started to count down the start of the games. They showed Marcus’ mangled body once again. His father paused the screen, almost to study the display. 

Sejanus looked away quickly, unable to rid the image from his mind that was so much worse in person. 

“I don’t understand how anyone could deserve this,” Sejanus spoke softly. His father stood up from the couch, slowly walking over to his son. Sejanus’ eyes were still trained on the floor, focusing on the wine stain by his left shoe, Sejanus furrowed his brow, wondering when that had gotten there. He looked up at his father, suddenly angry, and frowned. 

“You can’t care for them, Sejanus. This is what happens. The districts are filled with disappointment and pain, don't fall for it.” Strabo spoke, standing close to him. “We are lucky to have this life in the Capitol. I saved you from those Games, son. That easily could have been you. Don’t you understand that? I did this all for you.” 

“For me?” Sejanus scoffed, stepping away from his father. “Do not lie to yourself, father. Everything you do is for you, even if you tell yourself otherwise. I never wanted to live here. Never wanted to participate in these stupid Games. I never wanted to leave Two!” he yelled, grabbing onto the table beside him. His legs were wobbling, threatening to give out but he had to keep standing, he had to face his father. 

“So you wish it was you in there? Are you really that self-destructive? What kind of son did I raise that sympathizes with those people?” Strabo spat back at him, pointing back at the screen. He took the remote and fast-forwarded to what was happening live in the arena. 

On the screen, Lamina from District Seven had climbed her way up on the beam Marcus was hanging on. She stood above him now, ax in her hand. Sejanus watched as she said something and seconds later Marcus replied. Lamina straightened her back and took a deep breath.

Immediately, Sejanus understood what was happening. His heart dropped to his stomach. He knew this would happen, he knew Marcus had to die soon, Sejanus just thought he might be able to make it to him before that had to happen. 

She leaned down, pulled Marcus’ head back, and before she could drive her ax into his neck, Sejanus’ eyes flew shut. 

He couldn’t watch Marcus die. 

Sejanus could hear it though, he heard when she hit him, twice in the neck. She then proceeded to cut his hands free, to which he fell to the ground with a loud thud. 

Tears clouded Sejanus’ eyes, quickly leaking out into his hands in front of his face. Dried blood on his hands quickly stained his tears, making it look like he was bleeding from his eyes. It sure felt like it. Every part of Sejanus’ body ached. He couldn’t dare look at the screen, he felt sick.

He stood there frozen until his father stormed up to him, grabbed his arms, and tore them away from his face. Sejanus resisted, fighting against his grasp, but ultimately his father won. 

“ That is what happens, Sejanus. They are monsters, all of them.” His father yelled, his hand grabbing Sejanus’ face and forcing his gaze toward the projector near the couch. 

Marcus was lying on the floor, birds starting to already pick at his dead body as Lamina watched from above. 

Tears were streaming down Sejanus’ face now, but he made no effort to stop them. His father's grip on his face and arms tightened, and Sejanus tried his best to free himself from his father's grasp. Strabo was stronger than he was, but Sejanus was determined. When his father reacted to Sejanus’ resistance and held him tighter, Sejanus took his foot and slammed it down on his father's.

“Fuck, Sejanus!” Strabo yelled, letting Sejanus go long enough for him to escape from his grasp. Before he could grab him again, the boy stepped away from his father, watching as he cursed to himself and turned to grab at his foot. 

“They are just people!” Sejanus yelled at his father, leaning over on the floor. “They’re kids! They are just doing what we are forcing them to do. They don’t have any choice.”

“They are the reason we are here, Sejanus. Two wasn’t safe after the war, because of people like them . I did what I had to do to protect my family.” 

“You are the reason we are here! The reason all this is happening!” Sejanus screamed, taking two steps back. His blood was boiling, he felt like his veins were going to burst. Sejanus felt like he couldn’t hear or see anything, yet he could feel everything simultaneously. He stumbled over his feet, grabbing his things that were laid by the door. 

Sejanus didn’t understand. Why was everyone in the Capitol so keen on killing innocent people, to protect their livelihood? How were people willing to sit by and watch these kids die every year, in a Game that’s only purpose is to show power over the defeated? His father was a player in their game, and Sejanus was tired of it. He couldn’t do this anymore. 

He could only think of doing one thing. 

“I’m leaving. I can't stand by and watch these kids die for fucking nothing. Don’t follow me, don’t tell Ma I was here.” Sejanus snapped, glaring over at his father. “Everything you've done was to benefit you. Not me, certainly not Ma. You. If you hurt her I swear I will kill you. I’m not scared of you.” 

His father stood up then, his hands dangling by his sides. Sejanus watched as he took a deep breath, and let it out in a long exacerbated sigh. 

“Sejanus,” His father began, “You blame me for everything wrong in your life, but you are the reason you are like this, not me. I don’t know what I did wrong with you son, truly I don’t.” 

Sejanus frowned deeper, his whole body shaking with anger now. He took a deep breath, not daring to break eye contact with his father, and opened his mouth to speak. 

“I am glad that I am nothing like you. You are a miserable, angry person. I would rather die in that Arena than ever be anything like you.” Sejanus spat, grabbing the door handle and slamming it closed behind him. 

Blood was pumping in Sejanus’ ears as he flew down the stairs of their apartment complex and out the door. He stripped off his Academy jacket, dropping it to the ground to take away any attention to himself. 

Before trying to find a way into the Arena, Sejanus knew he had to lay low for a while. He couldn’t go in now, the sun was still up and the games were still happening. Sejanus may be stupid, and bordering suicidal, but he isn't trying to get killed right away. He decided to go in tonight, when the Capitol, and most importantly, the tributes were asleep. 

He just wanted to say Goodbye to Marcus. He was dead, as his father made him watch happen, but Sejanus was determined. He’d give Marcus a proper District Two send-off, just as he deserved. Sejanus didn't care if he got killed in the process, he had to see Marcus one last time. 

Hell, let them kill me. Sejanus thought. Dying in protest seemed like a better choice than living in ignorance. 

First, he would stop at the bakery down the street, on the way to the weeping willow tree calling to him. 

Sejanus crouched behind the building, looking around to check no one was looking when he reached into the dumpster, feeling around for some discarded bread. After a beat, and touching something wet, Sejanus felt the scratchy surface of some burnt bread. It would have to do. He pulled it out and promptly tucked it into his pack hanging off his shoulder. 

Then, Sejanus made his way to the tree. The closer he got, the tighter his chest felt. The past few days of being here with Marcus were looming over him, especially after the sealed fate of his companion. Sejanus felt like Marcus was watching, also drawing close to the tree like he was now. 

Sejanus crouched under shrubbery and into his well-known enclave. It looked like it had that morning, the last time he was here two days ago. Untouched by the world around it. Sejanus felt envious for a moment, before brushing it off once he rounded the corner of the tree. 

On top of the boulder, immediately catching his eye, was a white block sparking in the sunlight. Sejanus squinted his eyes, unable to make out what it was as he approached.

He faced the rock, not able to see the entire object from his height. Sejanus hoisted himself on his toes, peaking slightly above it. On top of it, was some kind of chiseled stone. He grabbed into it, bringing it down to his face. 

At closer inspection, Sejanus realized it was a piece of rubble from the explosion at the arena last week. He smoothed it over in his hand, he could picture the white marble from where this came. It was chiseled into a shape, one that resembled a heart. When Sejanus turned it over, he saw an engraving on the back. 

MP + SP 

Sejanus ran his thumb over the letters, letting out a shaky breath as tears dropped down his cheeks. Sorrow shook its way through Sejanus’ bones as he inspected the marble heart. He clasped it in his hands, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes as he took the heart and placed it to his own. 

A loud sob escaped Sejanus’ mouth as he dropped to his knees, pants sinking into the mud from the morning mist. 

Everything was wrong, it all felt wrong. Pain surged through Sejanus’ eyes, into his arms and legs, and down his spine, seizing him in the moment. All he could do was cry. 

Part of Sejanus didn’t want to stop. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He didn't like seeing the world without Marcus in it. Another part hoped that when he opened his eyes Marcus would be standing in front of him, arms open and laughing like it was all some sick joke. He knew that wouldn’t happen, he had seen Marcus’ dead body. But still, he was disappointed when he opened his eyes and looked around at the same scenery. 

Only, this place would never be the same. Sejanus would never be the same. Marcus found his way into Sejanus’ life once again, shifting how he saw everything around him. He gave something Sejanus would never trade for anything; Marcus was the first person who saw Sejanus for who he was. Changing him until it was too late. 

But, this time it wouldn’t be too late. As Sejanus settled in a dry patch of grass, Marcus’ heart burned in his hands, he held the stone against his chest, letting it leave its mark on him forever. 

It was time. The sun had set about an hour ago, giving Sejanus enough time for the action to settle down. 

He’d spent most of his time at the tree crying or dissociating into the scenery. He couldn’t stand being present, it hurt too much. Every time he thought about Marcus’ fate he became physically ill. With nothing left to eject from his stomach, he just had to sit there uncomfortable while his whole body ached. 

He looked up from his spot on top of the boulder that Marcus had discovered could be climbed last week. The sun was shining in his eye and if he squinted his eyes enough, he could image Marcus sitting with him.

Climbing up the trunk of the tree to get up was easy, he used to climb the trees in Two all the time as a kid, but getting back down was what worried him. He hadn’t thought it through when he got up there, he had just wanted to be close to Marcus, even though that seemed impossible right now. He stationed his feet on the edge of the rock, his eyes trained on the low-hanging branch Marcus had used previously to get down. Sejanus took a deep breath and jumped, not daring to close his eyes though he desperately wanted to. He grabbed a hold of the branch and dropped to the ground. 

Sejanus let out a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding and looked around him.  

This might be the last time he’d see this place, Sejanus realized. He may never come out of the Arena alive. He didn’t know what was going to happen in there, he couldn't even begin to guess. All he knew was that he didn’t have any other choice. Sejanus had to see Marcus one last time, dead or alive he didn’t care. 

His journey started by taking the path Marcus had on Saturday morning when they were sure he’d make it out alive. Or rather Sejanus wouldn't let them think otherwise. How could he have been so naive? He should have prepared more, he should have come up with a better plan. 

Sejanus shook his head, nothing could distract him. Getting to Marcus was the only thing that mattered. 

Sejanus reached into his pocket and crumbled up a bunch of the bread he’d taken from the dumpster, preparing for his journey into the Arena. 

When he approached, he could tell that it would be hard to get in. Sejanus tucked behind some shrubbery to further survey the arena. Peacekeepers were stationed every few feet around the arena, and then, at the entrance, there were four Peacekeepers guarding the gate. Sejanus noted that all four of them had guns, and when his eyes drifted to the others he noticed that only a few of them actually had ammunition in their weapons. 

Sejanus guessed if he could thank his father for anything, it would be for forcing him to learn how to shoot, and the basics of artillery weapons. With one close look at a Peacekeeper Sejanus could tell if their gun was loaded or not and if they posed a threat to him. 

He snuck around the area until he approached a Peacekeeper on duty, with an unloaded gun, leaning against the wall at his post. Sejanus decided if anyone was going to let him in, it would be this guy. 

Nerves bubbled in his stomach as he tried desperately to think of a plan, instead, Sejanus reached inside his pocket and unfolded the $500 he’d stolen from his father before he left. If he’d learned anything from Strabo Plinth is that some people will do anything for some extra money. 

A Peacekeeper in the Capitol that doesn’t get paid very much to start, slacking off on the job? It was the perfect victim. All he had to do was walk over to the man. But Sejanus was stuck, he was so afraid of what might unfold that he had a moment of hesitation before he stepped out into the moonlight. 

But no, he wouldn’t let himself. All of this pain, and suffering, cannot have been for nothing. Sejanus needed to do one last thing right, he needed to do right by Marcus one last time. He didn’t care if he lived or died, all he cared about was Marcus. 

“I’m coming, Marcus,” Sejanus whispered into the air before stepping out onto the grass and toward the Peacekeeper. 

He wasn’t sure how he was going to play this, he was still in his Academy uniform so there was no sense in pretending to be someone else. He confidentially strode his way up to the man, hand stuffed in his pocket. When he approached, he realized it was the same Peacekeeper that he’d run into weeks ago when Marcus first ran away. 

“Sir?” Sejanus spoke up, tucking his arms behind his back. He tried to make himself look smaller, good thing he grew up doing that. 

“Sejanus?” The Peacekeeper asked. Sejanus stopped in his tracks, surprised the man remembered his name. He voiced this much as he kept walking, right up to the man. He stood in front of him and looked up at the Peacekeeper slightly towering above him. 

“I could never forget such a pretty face.” The man smirked, his eyes scanning all over Sejanus’ body. The boy had to stop himself from punching this guy in the jaw. He didn’t have time for creepy men flirting with him. 

Yet, Sejanus still played the part of a lost boy who needed the Peacekeepers' help and the man across from him was eating it up. 

He explained that for a class project, they needed to come up with different strategies for the new arena layout after the bombing. But, Sejanus, being from the Districts is at a disadvantage, seeing he didn’t grow up going to the Arena like all the rest of his classmates did, so he doesn’t even know the layout before the bombing. He, of course, pulled this out of his ass. Sejanus could feel himself breaking a sweat, lying stressed him out.

The Peacekeeper listened to him intensely, often being drawn in by a purposeful flutter of his eyelashes, and by the end of Sejanus’ story he had hoped he sounded convincing enough. 

“I don’t know, kid. I’d want to let you in but, there are tributes in there. It could be dangerous.” 

Sejanus grinned, as he looked up at the man. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate your concern, but I promise I’ll be careful.” Sejanus took a step closer and ignored the unpleasant rumbling in his stomach. He took his hand from his pocket, with three big bills in his palm, and laid it carefully on the man’s arm. 

The Peacekeeper looked over to Sejanus’ hand, saw the money, and then turned back over to Sejanus. The brunette looked at him through his dark eyelashes. 

The man seemed to be contemplating his options, weighing out good and bad. To Sejanus’ relief, after a few seconds of uncertainty, the man smiled and placed his hand on Sejanus’.  

The touch almost sent Sejanus stumbling backward. It took everything in him to not rip away from the man’s grasp. He was tired of old men grabbing him, he thought of his father and tried not to become enraged. 

“You know what, I’ll let you in. I like you, kid. I want you to show all those pricks in your class just how smart we from the Districts can be.” He winked, grabbing the money from Sejanus’ hand and stepping to the side to reveal a gate behind him. 

“It’s still dangerous in there, so meet back here in 10 minutes to be let out.” The man warned, placing a hand on Sejanus’ shoulder this time. He turned to the gate and took the keys dangling from his belt to unlock it.“Still got that pocket knife? Though you won’t need it to protect you from that tribute on the loose anymore. Instead a whole arena.”

Sejanus went stiff at the mention of Marcus, the image of his beaten face flashing in front of his eyes as chills were sent down his back. He tried not to flinch, he had to stay strong, like Marcus always had. He took a deep breath and nodded, grinning softly at the peacekeeper. 

“I can take care of myself, sir,” Sejanus spoke up, straightening his back. 

“You got it,” The man replied, holding the gate open for Sejanus.

 He couldn't believe what he was doing, but in his mind, he didn't have any other choice. Sejanus reached in his pocket as he strode into the halls of the arena, fidgeting with the stale bread crumbs he’d stolen. He was trying very hard to be aware of his surroundings, he could tell most of the tributes were sleeping, but still, he was terrified that any move would reveal his position. 

Slowly, Sejanus walked toward the turnstiles, he turned around to see the Peacekeeper locking the gate behind him. The man smiled at him, before turning around to get back to his station guarding the gate. Sejanus took a deep breath, no going back now. 

He couldn't turn back even if he wanted to, nothing else mattered but this moment. While carefully stepping around the uncleared debris from the blast a few days prior, Sejanus scanned the area. Outside the hall, he couldn't see much, just the openness of the arena and some stone on the floor. Sejanus breathed deeply, his heart hammering inside his chest and ears. He was growing paranoid that maybe the others could hear it too. 

As he approached the turnstiles, the rest of the arena slowly came into view. It looked so different since the last time he was here. Everything was blown to bits around him, ruble creating a whole new entry way. Sejanus slipped through the broken rocks, to not trigger the eerily joyful ‘Enjoy the show’ upon entering. 

As soon as he knew it, Sejanus was standing on the floor of the arena, looking out at the area in front of him. To his right was the pile of rocks in the middle of the floor, holding all the discarded weapons, and the dead tributes that have yet to be collected. As he looked around, Sejanus noticed that was all he saw. His breath caught in his throat as he backed up against the wall behind him. 

To his left, was the post Marcus was hung on earlier that day. Sejanus tried to keep his breathing steady, but it was getting progressively harder. He studied the area, his eyes quickly floating over Marcus’ corpse every time he passed him. He couldn't look, he wasn't ready- he wasn't sure he ever would be. 

Lamina, the girl from District 7 who dealt the final blow and cut him free, was sleeping at the top of the concrete beam, with an axe curled under her chin. The axe that killed Marcus. Sejanus felt sick. He took a deep breath and glanced over at Marcus’ body. He was lying there, currently unoccupied. Sejanus recounted seeing the birds already pick on him as his father forced him to watch the feed.

In front of him, lay one dead tribute's body, Sejanus felt guilty that he couldn't remember their name. There were a few scraps of rubble on the ground, meaning a clear path to Marcus’ body. Afraid he was running out of time, Sejanus carefully stepped out and walked toward the stone beams. He glanced around himself feverishly paranoid, if anyone could see him he couldn't imagine he looked sane. 

Sejanus’ steps shook as he suddenly realized that he was most likely on camera right now for all of Panem to see. No doubt was he in trouble. Sejanus swallowed hard and took three deep breaths, trying to quiet his steps as he finally arrived at his ultimate destination of the night. 

He hadn't thought this far, and quickly Sejanus began to realize that he couldn't bring himself to look down at Marcus. He was right there, lying at his feet, and Sejanus was looking anywhere but down. 

What else was he here for then? To sneak into the arena on a suicide mission that will end in misery either way? No, Sejanus wanted to make things right. As much as it made him sick, Sejanus knelt and closed his eyes, trying his hardest to convince himself that eventually, he had to open them. He stuffed his hand in his pocket, grabbed the torn bread crumbs, and cupped them in both of his hands above Marcus. 

“ Please take these crumbs- for they are all I can bear- and ensure Marcus finds his way. Descansa tranquilo, mi amor.” Sejanus whispered. 

He opened his palm and sprinkled the bread crumbs over Marcus’ body, taking a deep breath before he opened his eyes. 

When he opened them, he saw Marcus lying on the floor, eyes shut peacefully, chest still. Sejanus felt himself shutter as he took a hand and placed it on top of Marcus’ hip. 

“I’m so sorry,” Sejanus whispered into the air, tears collecting in his eyes. Marcus' beat-up face was blurring in his vision as he stared, but he couldn’t tear away his eyes. Sejanus leaned down and placed a kiss on Marcus’ forehead, letting his tears drop onto his still face. 

Sejanus couldn’t help but blame himself for Marcus’ death, but he knew there was nothing he could have done from the beginning. Marcus was doomed from the moment he ran away from that arena. Maybe if he hadn't Sejanus could have saved him. Maybe in another universe, Marcus survives and gets to live his whole life out in Two. But that wasn't what had happened, Marcus was dead on the ground in front of him and Sejanus found himself unable to do anything but sit and cry.

He didn't regret helping Marcus in the way he had. The last few days spent with Marcus had been the best Sejanus had felt in a while, even with the games looming over them and the inevitability of Marcus’ escape, he’d never felt happier. 

It was because of Marcus. With his goofy smile and soft lips. The way he believed in Sejanus was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. No one believed in Sejanus. He was too emotional, too moody, too weak. But to Marcus, none of that mattered because he didn’t believe any of it. To Marcus, Sejanus was strong. Sejanus was smart. Sejanus was brave. 

So he’d continue to channel that strength, for the one person who has ever given a shit. 

He was sitting there for a while, crying on top of Marcus’ corpse. On a whim, he decided to take Marcus’ vest and put it over his Academy undershirt. He decided he’d keep it, for now it was his most prized possession. 

Now that he was here, Sejanus wasn't sure what to do with himself, besides stare at Marcus. Even with all the wounds on his face and the stiffness of his corpse, he still looked handsome. The thought made him sick as the weight of his situation dawned on him. Marcus was dead and he’d most likely die in the arena tonight alongside him. He didn't really see a way out, and based on the Capitol's habits lately, he doubted they’d let him get away with this scratch-free. 

As he sat staring at the body across from him and at nothing at all, he decided that he wanted to die valiantly, in protest beside Marcus. He wasn't sure how or when it would happen, truthfully he didn't know if he could go through with it in the end– the one thing he was sure about though, was that he couldn't move from this spot. Someone had to see him in here eventually, hell, Lamina the girl from District Seven was sleeping right above him. So he’d wait for something to happen, he wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon anyway.

If the cameras were on him might as well give them a good show, right?

When he thought about it Sejanus didn't think he wanted to live anymore. Dying for a cause– dying for Marcus– seemed to be his best option. Truthfully, he couldn't see a point to it any longer, there was no light at the end of his tunnel. How could he make a difference living the way he did? He was a coward, a scared little boy, letting his father buy him his entire life. His father who believes the Capitol is right. It made him want to rip all of his hair out. He wanted to grab his father by the shoulders and shake some sense into him. He wanted to yell and scream at his father– if only he wasn't so scared. 

But he’d never have to deal with him again. Sejanus would die tonight and that would be it. His father would have to bury his only son. What a morbid thought. Would he want to be buried or burned? Before he could give anything else much thought, he felt Coriolanus creep up before he even opened his mouth to speak. 

“Sejanus? It’s me.” 

God damnit. Sejanus must have been sitting there for a while, he’d lost track of time while his mind raced. He should have seen this coming. Coriolanus Snow swooping in to save him from humiliation once again, though if he was here he was sure the damage was already done. Sejanus began to laugh, oddly enough finding humor in his situation. 

“You really can’t stop rescuing me, can you?” Sejanus replied, his eyes still trained on Marcus’ body. 

“Can’t do it,” Coriolanus chuckled. Did Coriolanus really care that much about him that he’d risk his life to come in here and save him? Or was he forced? Surely he didn't volunteer, Sejanus didn’t have many other friends and he wasn't sure if Coriolanus even considered him one. He really cannot do anything right, can he? Couldn't even die right without putting other people in harm's way. 

“They sent you in to fish me out? What madness.” Sejanus laughed again, not fully feeling like any of this was happening to him. It all felt like a dream, a long, fucked up dream. His laughter quickly died in his mouth. He cleared his throat and rose to his feet. “Did you ever see a dead body?” 

“A lot. During the war.” Coriolanus answered immediately, and Sejanus instantly felt guilty for asking. He let the feeling pass though, sure that if felt one more negative emotion he was sure to implode. 

“I haven’t so much. Not this close. At funerals, I guess. And at the zoo the other night, only those girls hadn’t been dead long enough to stiffen up,” said Sejanus, “I don’t know if I’d rather be burned or buried. Not that it matters, really.” 

“Well, you don’t have to decide now,” Coriolanus replied. 

The statement made Sejanus want to laugh again, but it wasn't all that funny after all was it? He could tell Coriolanus was getting impatient, and that he was scared all the while Sejanus was keeping him, he couldn't look away from the body on the ground. He just wanted Coriolanus to leave him alone, he wanted to die looking at Marcus, he never wanted to look away for the last time. 

“Oh, it won’t be up to me,” Sejanus said. “I don’t know what’s taking the tributes so long to find me. I must have been in here awhile.” 

Finally, he gathered enough strength to look away from Marcus’ body for a moment, eyes immediately finding Coriolanus behind him. His cheeks were flushed, his hair messy. His face was riddled with fear and paranoia and Sejanus realized that he was the reason Coriolanus was in this situation in the first place. He was tired of hurting people.

He knit his eyebrows together and focused in on Coriolanus’ face. “You should go, you know.”

“I’d like to,” Coriolanus spoke softly. “I really would. Only there’s the matter of your Ma. She’s waiting out front. Pretty upset. I promised I’d bring you to her.” 

Ma. How could he? In all of his delusion and self-obsession, he forgot about Ma. She was probably so scared, terrified of what might happen if Sejanus even made it out of here alive. She’d be alone with his father, who wouldn’t have anyone else to bully. Sejanus scolded himself for being so selfish, Ma never wanted any of this, she did all this for him. He frowned at Coriolanus. 

“Poor Ma. Poor old Ma. She never wanted any of this, you know. Not the money, not the move, not the fancy clothes or the driver. She just wanted to stay in Two. But my father…” Rage filled his chest at the thought of the man. “Bet he isn’t here, is he? No, he’ll keep his distance until this is settled. Then let the buying begin!” He exclaimed, possibly a little too loud for where they were standing. 

“Buying what?” Coriolanus asked, obviously getting impatient. 

“Buying everything! He bought our way here, bought my schooling, bought my mentorship, and he goes nuts because he can’t buy me,” said Sejanus, the thought strangely ghosted a smile over Sejanus’ lips that was gone as quickly as it was there. “He’ll buy you if you let him. Or at least compensate you for trying to help me.” 

“You’re my friend. He doesn’t need to pay me to help you.” 

Sejanus really was the worst. How could he not think about anyone else other than himself? Putting himself in danger was one thing but putting Coriolanus in danger? Once again, how could he? He reached forward and put a grateful hand on his friend's shoulder.

“You’re the only reason I’ve lasted this long, Coriolanus. I need to stop causing you trouble.” Sejanus sighed, disappointed in himself. 

“I didn’t realize how bad this was for you. I should have traded tributes when you asked,” he replied.

Sejanus shook his head softly. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing does, really.” 

“Of course, it matters,” Coriolanus insisted, grabbing Sejanus’ arm. “Come out with me.” 

Coriolanus was wrong, Sejanus felt like he had tried everything. What could he do out there? Sejanus knew he was wrong and he wasn't sure how Coriolanus didn't see it yet. Couldn't he just let him be?

“No. There’s no point,” said Sejanus. “There’s nothing left to do but die.”

 “That’s it? That’s your only choice?” Coriolanus hastily responded.

“It’s the only way I might possibly make a statement. Let the world see me die in protest,” Sejanus nodded, sure this was what he deserved. He wanted to die for the cause, whatever that was. “Even if I’m not truly Capitol, I’m not district either. Like Lucy Gray, but without the talent.” 

“Do you really think they’ll show this? They’ll quietly remove your body and say you died of the flu.” Coriolanus pressed, moving past his self-depreciation. “They’ve all but blacked out the screen now.” 

Sejanus knew he hadn't thought any of this through, but he was kicking himself for how badly he screwed up. “They won't show it?” He asked naively. 

“Not in a million years. You’ll be dead for nothing, and you’ll have wasted your chance to make things better.” Coriolanus pleaded. Sejanus wasn't sure why he was saying all these things to him, he had a hard time believing anything his friend said.

“What chance do I have out there?” asked Sejanus, leaning in closer to Coriolanus. 

“You’re rich, smart. You care. Money has a lot of uses. Look how it changed your world. Maybe you could make changes, too. Good ones. Maybe if you don’t, a lot more people will suffer.” 

“What makes you think I could do that?” said Sejanus, even more confused than he was when he entered the arena, if that was even possible.

“You’re the only one who had the guts to stand up to Dr. Gaul,” Coriolanus answered like it was obvious. 

Sejanus felt his face flush.  He sighed, clearly he wasn't thinking straight. His brain was so out of wack that he wasn't sure what to do with himself. Coriolanus had reminded him. If everyone else was turning a blind eye, wasn't it Sejanus’ responsibility to stand up for those who don't have a voice? He thought of the one other person who believed in him. Marcus filled his every thought.

 “Thank you,” Sejanus replied, voice softened. “Thank you for that.”

 Coriolanus put his hand on Sejanus’s arm. “We’re being surrounded. I’m going. Come with me, spend your father's money, do some real good.” 

Sejanus looked around him and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, weighing his options. Coriolanus caught on and cut into his thought process.

“Please, trust me.” Coriolanus pleaded. “What do you want to do, fight the tributes or fight for them?  Don’t give Dr. Gaul the satisfaction of beating you. Don’t give up.” He tugged Sejanus’ arm, the two of them closer than they had been all night. Sejanus could feel Coriolanus’ shaky breathing hit his face. 

Sejanus looked over at Marcus, lying on the dirty floor. Marcus didn't deserve any of this. None of them did. Sejanus could have a chance to actually change things. He could use his father's money for good, instead of inflicting more pain upon himself and everyone around him. 

But, that meant he had to leave Marcus. He was doing all this for him, wasn’t he? It didn't seem fair, just a few minutes ago Sejanus was ready to die by his side. He didn't have much time to decide, as he could hear shuffling around them, sensing the tributes closing in on them. Two helpless Capitol students seemed like an obvious target, and Sejanus wasn't too keen on dying anymore.

“You’re right,” Sejanus agreed. “If I believe what I say, it’s my responsibility to take her down. To end this whole atrocity somehow.” He lifted his gaze from Marcus, he wasn't sure how much longer he could look. He wanted Marcus’s smiling face to be the image in his head of the boy, not this. Quickly he snapped his head to the stands to their left, there was someone there.

He turned back to Coriolanus and spoke directly. “But, I won’t leave Marcus.” 

“I’ll grab his feet.” Coriolanus agreed. 

Sejanus sighed in relief. He moved to Marcus’ head and grabbed his torso, wrapping his arms around his chest. Sejanus had to ignore the stiffness of the body and the smell that was starting to radiate from him. He wasn’t sure what they were going to do with Marcus once they were safe, but since when did Sejanus think anything through properly? Coriolanus grabbed Marcus’ feet, helping Sejanus carry the weight, and the two of them made their way toward where he assumed Coriolanus had entered. 

Marcus weighed a lot, Sejanus came to realize, he was sure he wouldn't be able to carry him alive let alone his dead weight. The two of them managed, drawing in closer to where Sejanus now saw a barricade for them to slip through. Sejanus’ stomach dropped with what might be waiting out there for him. In front of him, Coriolanus tripped on a rock and fell to his knees, halting their movement. 

He quickly got back up and grabbed Marcus’ feet once again, still determined to help Sejanus get him out, even if that meant Bobbin’s knife driving into Coriolanus’ shoulder blade.

Sejanus was stunned, the tributes caught up to them. He held onto Marcus as he watched everything unfold in front of him. Coriolanus swung at the boy and missed, landing in a pile of debris. 

“I don't want to hurt you!” Coriolanus exclaimed to the tribute, who didn't seem to care that much what Coriolanus wanted, and was making his way toward the boy wielding his knife. Coriolanus then grabbed a piece of debris next to him and swung it in Bobbin's direction, striking him on his temple.

The first swing sent Bobbin to his knees, then when Coriolanus stood up, he swung again, and again, and again. Sejanus watched Coriolanus kill the boy who was trying to kill them. But they still had to leave, and Bobbin was clearly dead, so Sejanus hesitantly let go of Marcus’ body and shouted for his friend. 

“We have to go!” 

Coriolanus turned around and dropped his makeshift weapon, stepping toward the body on the floor. Sejanus sighed and grabbed his arm, yanking him toward the exit. There was no time, the tributes were closing in and trying to save Marcus had almost gotten Coriolanus killed once and he wouldn’t let someone else die. 

“No! Leave him! Run!” Sejanus shouted. Coriolanus took off immediately, with Sejanus close in tow. Coral, Mizzen, and Tanner were not far behind, weapons armed and ready. But they were almost there, and as soon as he knew it Coriolanus was slipping through the small hole, trying not to get tangled in the barbed wire. 

Sejanus waited anxiously behind him, watching as the pack got closer and closer. Soon, Coriolanus was through and Sejanus wasted no time throwing himself through the exit, sealing it behind him. They both dove head-first into the concrete, crashing into each other in the process. They had no time to recuperate before they were back on their feet, Sejanus pulling a dazed Coriolanus behind him. 

The tributes outside the barricade started whooping, taunting them as they tracked them through the labyrinth and into a blinding red corridor. Sejanus looked forward and saw a group of Peacekeepers awaiting them, then behind them, he saw the tributes jumping over the turnstiles. 

They had to go, they really had to go. 

Sejanus turned forward, grabbing onto Coriolanus as they ran toward the exit. It looked like they had to slip through a gap in the fence to get out, the tributes were fast approaching and they couldn't risk them getting out, they had to make this quick. He shoved Coriolanus in front of him, the more injured of the two, and as they approached, readied himself to help Coriolanus through.

The pack was closing in, all of them taunting and hollering at the two boys as they ran. Sejanus helped push Coriolanus through the gap, then hoisted himself through it as well. He nearly got out in time and was almost able to get out scratch-free, that is until Tanner launched himself at the gate, his knife lodging in the back of Sejanus’ calf.