Chapter Text
That was a total disaster.
A disgrace.
Stan should have known that he shouldn’t have picked the Beyond Meat burger. He tried to gulp down the horrible aftertaste that had violated his taste buds with the lemonade he had ordered, but it wasn’t helping, much to his dismay.
“Is it that bad?”, his best friend Kyle chuckled. He and Tolkien exchanged amused glances while Stan stuffed some fries into his mouth sullenly.
“Kyle told you from the beginning on that the vegetarian burger was trash”, Tolkien reminded him “But you wouldn’t listen.”
“Who said I wasn’t enjoying my burger?” As stupid as he was, Stan took another big bite of the worst thing that had ever found its way into his mouth, and that totally included all the BJs he had given his more or less hygienic bedpartners in the past twenty-three years of his existence. He chewed the burger under Kyle’s and Tolkien’s expectant gazes.
“Okay, okay, I give up.” Stan grimaced while he threw the excuse for a burger back onto the plate. “You are right. That burger is a food crime. I want my money back.”
“Dude, what did you expect from Applebee’s?”, Kyle laughed. “That’s why I was so against eating here.”
"Okay, smartass." Stan pouted. “All I wanted was a decent vegetarian burger. And what did I get? This monstrosi-“ He stopped mid-sentence and started staring, just like his two friends.
“Whoa”, he breathed.
“You can say that again, man”, Tolkien agreed, just as blown away.
The reason for their shameless staring was a trio of three incredibly beautiful women that had just entered the restaurant and walked past their table. The woman in the front had porcelain-like skin and ebony waistlength hair that looked smoother than silk, her hazel eyes had an almost unnatural glimmer. She was flanked by a ginger-haired beauty with bloodred pouty lips and a stunning green-eyed woman with curly blond hair.
Even Kyle had his difficulties to tear his eyes away from the three amazon-like women, and that really meant something seeing how picky Kyle usually was.
The trio took a seat a couple of tables away from them. Stan’s mouth was still agape when the black-haired woman looked over to him – and stared right back. Her head was slightly cocked to the side, her gaze challenging. Stan felt as if he had just been struck by lightning.
“Dude, she’s totally checking you out.” Kyle elbowed him excitedly while Stan found it increasingly difficult to breathe.
Tolkien gave him a worried look. “You okay?”
“I-I’m fine. Never felt better”, Stan lied through his teeth. He glanced over to where the black-haired beauty was sitting. She was about to pick a drink; it was more than obvious that she was flirting with the nervous waiter. Ouch. “Can we please change the topic?”, he almost begged.
Kyle sighed. “But we won’t let this go, alright? You’re lucky I’m in a good mood because I asked Nichole out and she said yes.”
Stan’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? But that’s awesome, congrats!”
Even Tolkien gave him a genuine smile. “That’s great, I’m happy for you two. I hope you make her happy.”
To be completely honest, Stan would never understand how Tolkien was okay with this. Even back in South Park, Nichole had been bouncing back and forth between dating Tolkien and Kyle, it was getting exhausting to watch. He would never understand how the guys were still friends with each other despite sharing the same love interest.
At least, they had an active love life, more than Stan could say about himself. His last relationship had been with a nice guy named Gary who had moved to Australia with his tight-knit family. Other than that, Stan merely had occasional flings and shallow One-night stands, but nothing more serious. It was depressing how boring his love life was. Same went with all the other aspects of his life. Kyle graduated college summa cum laude and got into grad school to become a psychologist one day, Tolkien had become the youngest police detective of color in the history of Santa Monica’s police department, even Cartman was a successful entrepreneur now that his startup had taken off. Stan, on the other hand, felt as if he had achieved nothing so far. He already knew he was going to be a boring accountant or have some other depressing office job one day. Ugh.
While Kyle and Tolkien were still chatting on his opposite, Stan couldn’t help but glance back to the pretty noirette again. He had no idea why he was so fascinated by that woman, but he was by far not the only one. Half the restaurant was gaping at the three women while they were eating their food calmly. When the raven-haired girl looked to him again, Stan quickly looked away. He slowly but surely started to feel like a creep. After they had paid for their food and left the restaurant, Stan was almost disappointed. For a split second, he wondered whether he should have manned up and asked for the woman’s number, but he didn’t know whether he would be able to stomach a rejection. His mother always told him how handsome he was, but Stan wasn’t delusional. He was a solid five out of ten; pretty average. Story of his life. How pathetic.
Since August was just around the corner and UCLA didn’t offer any summer courses that would be useful for his major, Stan decided to work all summer long to save up some money. Working at his dad’s pot farm in Colorado was out of question, so he decided on a chill barista job at the café close to his apartment here in Santa Monica.
Butters’ eyes lit up when Stan came rushing into the café. “Stan, there you are! Hurry up, we got a bunch of costumers today.” He caught the apron the relieved blonde threw over to him and quickly put it on.
Stan was really lucky their boss wasn’t around because he was already fifteen minutes late. Time had passed quickly when he had been swooning and daydreaming over a certain raven-haired lady. Dammit, why couldn’t he get her out of his head? Time for a change of subject. He glanced over to Butters who was about to pour some black coffee into one of these cheap styrofoam cups. Since their boss was practically never around, he and Butters were basically running the Shoreside Café on their own. Their paychecks said otherwise, much to Stan’s annoyance. He tried to convince Destiny to promote him multiple times, but the older woman always brushed him off. Butters didn’t seem to care he was being exploited. Stan figured the shorter blonde had always been a pushover.
When it was time to close the café, Stan put down his apron and took a deep breath. Even though he only had the afternoon shift today, he was already exhausted. He and Butters were the only employees Destiny had, apart from the cleaning staff. He so couldn’t wait to get home and fall into his bed to get at least fifteen hours of sleep.
After he and Butters had parted ways, Stan retrieved his Airpods from his pocket and put them into his ears to listen to some music on his way home. It was already past ten in the evening, the sunset on the horizon looked almost picturesque. It was still warm outside, so Stan decided to take the longer way home. He turned on his heel and headed to the cliffs. Much to his surprise, he saw three people that were sitting on the only bench close to the cliffs. They seemed to be talking to each other animatedly, but when they heard him come closer, they turned around.
Stan’s breath caught.
Those mysterious women from the restaurant.
…
While the women were gazing at him, Stan lifted his hand and waved at them awkwardly. “Uh…hi?”
The noirette got up and took a step towards him, her hazel eyes were sparkling with interest. Gosh, she was taking his breath away. “You were at Applebee’s too, right?” Her voice was so clear, so angelic.
Stan gulped and pulled the Airpods out of his ears. “Yeah. With my friends.”
“I know. You were that guy with the puppy-dog look.”
The what now? Stan scratched his head quizzically. “I’m honestly not sure whether that’s a compliment or an insult.”
The three women broke into laughter. Whether they were laughing at him or about his comment, he had no idea.
“You’re cute.” The raven-haired beauty stuck out her hand. “I’m Wendy. And these are my best friends Bebe and Red.” She nodded to the blonde and the redhead.
“Stan”, he introduced himself, trying to keep his cool because of what Wendy had said. Because damn, did she just call him cute?! “So what brings you to Santa Monica? I’m pretty sure I have never seen you here before.”
“You’re not wrong because me and my girls arrived here yesterday. We actually wanted to stay for a couple of days only, but who knows, maybe I will change my mind.” Wendy was so close to him all of a sudden and looked up to him flirtatiously.
Stan felt how his cheeks grew hot. Oh god, what the hell was he supposed to answer to that? He always thought he was a pretty confident guy, but now, he was at a loss of words.
As he continued to stare at Wendy like a complete doofus, she looked over to her friends. “Bebe, Red, why don’t you go ahead to our hotel? I’m going to take a short walk with Stan.”
Her girlfriends got the hint and quickly got lost, not without throwing Wendy long glances, as if they would communicate without words. Stan wondered what that was about.
They ended up walking along the shore and talking about everything and nothing, as if they were old friends and hadn't just met for the first time. The sun had long set, the moon was illuminating the beach.
“Aren’t you scared to walk with a complete stranger at a deserted beach?”, Stan dared to ask her.
But Wendy just laughed shortly. “Why? Are you a rapist or something?”
Stan buried his hands into his pockets. “No, but you don’t know me. The women I know are cautious when it comes to trusting random men.”
“Oh, because men are larger and stronger?” Wendy threw her long hair back in amusement. “Those who seem harmless could be a lot more dangerous than one might think. Sometimes, you need to watch out for the wolf in sheep’s clothing.” He had no idea at all what that was supposed to mean. She glanced up to him and smiled. “Okay, Stan. How about you tell me more about yourself? Only if you are okay with that, of course.”
“Yeah, why not?” Stan’s eyes wandered to the horizon. “I’m from South Park, Colorado, an excuse for a town - don't ask. I’m going to start my senior year of college this fall. But sometimes, I wonder what I’m doing. My life seems like a neverending rat race, you know? There is absolutely nothing I can look forward to. I want something to happen in my life. Something is missing, but I just don’t know what it is.”
Wendy looked at him pensively. “Maybe a little bit of magic?” She had said those words to herself, but Stan had heard them.
He laughed. “That sounds like a wonderful idea. If you know a way to make that happen, let me know.”
She laughed with him, but soon got serious again. Shivers were running down his spine when she took his hands and looked him deep in the eyes. “I think I like you, Stan”, she said earnestly. “We have a connection. You can feel it too, right?”
“Yeah”, he breathed. “It’s special.”
“Do you want to do something crazy?”
Stan cocked his head to the side. “What do you have in mind?”
But Wendy just laughed and tugged him by the hand. “Come on”, she grinned. “You’re going to like it.”
…
When she said her idea was crazy, Stan had no idea how crazy exactly. Sex in the cave at the cliffs had never occurred to him. Not that he found it bad - it was the complete opposite, actually. Good thing he regularly exchanged the condoms in his wallet.
Right now, they were lying on the warm ground, naked and overly satisfied. A small bonfire was bristling a safe distance away from them. Wendy put his arms around him and kissed his neck. “That was amazing”, she sighed while she leaned against his bare chest. “You are amazing.”
Stan was convinced he was still dreaming. There was no way a superhot woman had just banged him, a boring and average loser from South Park, in a cave by the sea. He traced circles on the tattoo Wendy had right under her collarbone. The tattoo was black with elegantly curved patterns, he was almost sure he had seen how energy pulsated through the black lines while he touched them. Stan had no idea why, but he found it hot. Hell, for what it's worth, everything about Wendy was smokingly hot.
“That’s the first time anyone ever said those words to me. Apart from my best friend Kyle.”
“But what’s not amazing about you?” Wendy looked genuinely baffled.
Suddenly downcast, Stan looked away. “I’m kind of a fuck up.”
“And why? Enlighten me.” Wendy looked at him expectantly, and damn, those pretty hazel eyes were hard to resist.
Stan took a deep breath. “When I was in highschool, I started drinking. Like, a lot. I couldn’t make it through the day without my flask. I barely made it through senior year, but it became so bad my parents needed to send me to a rehabilitation center for alcoholics the summer after I graduated. I spent one and a half years in there, but those were the worst one and a half years of my life. I was at my lowest, but I wasn’t the same again when I left. Now, I’m almost four years sober, but those past years left a mark on me.”
“But that’s not something you should be ashamed of”, Wendy answered softly. “If anything, you should be proud of yourself. You made it out of your addiction, that’s admirable. You are stronger than ever before.”
“Huh. That’s one way to look at it.” Stan laughed quietly to himself. He turned to look into Wendy’s eyes directly. “Where were you all my life? I wish I had met you sooner.”
The noirette chuckled. “I feel flattered. But believe me, we have the rest of our lives to make up for it.” She got up and looked over to the bonfire, then back to Stan who was about to put on his clothes again. “Do you want to be with me, Stan? Like, a longterm thing?”, she asked him suddenly very seriously.
But Stan didn’t notice how her tone had shifted. He was still on cloud nine and seeing everything through those rose-colored glasses, so he smirked widely. Looking back, that was his first mistake. “Hell, yeah”, he answered immediately. “I mean, my best friend Kyle would probably say something along the lines of: Be careful who to trust and to take things slow, but screw that. I’ve been careful all my life - and look where I ended up.” Oh, how he wished he had listened to imaginary Kyle in hindsight. Kyle was always right.
Wendy nodded solemnly. “Very well.” He was surprised when she suddenly retrieved a dagger from the pocket of her mini skirt and cut her thumb.
“What the hell are you do-” Drops of blood fell into the bonfire and its color changed from orange to aquamarine. Stan’s eyes went wide. “What the fuck?! How did you just do that? Is that some kind of party trick?”
But Wendy just turned away from the fire, totally unimpressed. Instead, she reached for her purse and retrieved a bottle of water. After she had taken a sip, she offered him the bottle and he accepted it gratefully. Only when he took a gulp and the water was running down his dry throat, Stan noticed how thirsty he actually was. Meanwhile, Wendy had taken a seat next to him on the ground and folded her hands solemnly.
“Do you know the story about the little mermaid?”, she suddenly asked him.
Confused about her sudden change of topic, Stan nodded slowly. When he was little, his older sister Shelly forced him to bingewatch all the movies with her mean girlfriends even though he wanted to watch the Terrence and Philipp marathon. “Why are you asking?”
Instead of answering his question, Wendy played with the strands of her long hair pensively. “What exactly do you know about her? Not the fucked-up Disney version, but the original story by Danish author Hans Christian Andersen.”
“Well, I know that she fell for some dude she saved from drowning and went to a sea witch so that she gave her legs to be able to be with him, right?” Stan furrowed his eyebrows weirdly. It’s been years since their kindergarten teacher told them the story, he couldn’t really remember all the details.
“That’s right. The sea witch gave her a potion that granted her the ability to grow legs in exchange for her voice. The mermaid took the potion, grew legs, and went to the prince, hoping he would fall for her. But instead, the prince fell in love with a human princess. They got married and the little mermaid was heartbroken - and doomed because of her deal with the seawitch.”
Stan wondered why exactly Wendy was telling him that. The pretty ravenhead must have seen the confusion in his blue eyes because she smiled a little. “Just let me tell you the rest of the story, everything will make sense eventually.”
“What’s there to tell?” As far as Stan knew, the version of Andersen’s little mermaid story didn’t have a happy ending like the Disney version. “The mermaid is supposed to kill the prince, but she decides not to, right? She instead jumps into the sea where she dissolves into sea foam or something.” What a creepy story. What was his kindergarten teacher thinking?
“That’s right, Stan.” Wendy’s glance wandered to the blue (?!) bonfire. “But Andersen wasn’t right about the ending of the story. According to him, the little mermaid would have lived if she had stabbed the prince fatally and let his blood drip down her legs and feet so that she would get her fins back.”
Interested, Stan sat up and crossed his arms. Wendy's vivid imagination was kind of cute. Hello, mistake number two. “So what did the little mermaid do in reality, in your opinion?”
“As desperate as she was, she begged her sisters to bring the sea witch to the surface. The sea witch must have been intrigued because she actually showed up. With tears streaming down her face, the mermaid declared that she would never give up the prince because he was her mate. She would fight for their love till the very end and not accept her fate to turn into sea foam. Well, she must have impressed the sea witch because she gave her another option: Use strong ancient magic to make the prince her mate forever.”
Stan was so absorbed in the story he didn’t notice how Wendy had retrieved the dagger from before. Which led him to his third mistake: inattention around a complete stranger. “As interesting as your alternate version of the Little Mermaid is, I still don’t know where you are going with that.”
The look in Wendy’s eyes was suddenly so…perfidious, despite her sweet smile. She held the blade of the dagger into the oddly blue bonfire and turned to look at him again. A cold shiver was running down his spine as he looked back and forth between her and the burning hot dagger in her hand. “What are you-” He didn’t get to end the sentence because she suddenly plunged the dagger into his right side without warning. His cry of pain echoed across the cave, but Wendy pulled the knife out only after one minute had passed. Weirdly enough, the blade wasn't even hot, not that he cared that much about that at the moment. Beyond irritated and in great pain, Stan held the bleeding wound on his side and glared at her. Something warm spread from the wound and a weird sensation cursed through his entire body, but he decided to ignore it. Fourth mistake.
“What in the fucking world was that?! Are you trying to kill me?”, he yelled at her while blood was running down his side through his fingers. Luckily for him, the fleshwound wasn't deep. He slowly backed away from her when she wanted to come closer.
Much to his surprise, Wendy stayed calm. “Not at all. You will understand one day, my dear.”
You need to watch out for the wolf in sheep's clothing, her words from before echoed in his head. If only he had known she talked about herself...
“You…you’re batshit crazy”, he stated. “You’re off your rocker. I should have known something was off about you. You were too good to be true.” That was it. He was not going to stay any longer. Even though his legs felt so wobbly because of the aftershock of what that maniac had just done to him, he managed to get up. His entire body was feeling weird, as if ants were dancing on his skin, but he was not going to let that madwoman know. “If you excuse me, I need to go to hospital and get my flesh wound treated. Let’s hope the closest ER is still open that late.” He was speedwalking out of the cave even though he felt how he was growing weaker and weaker – and stopped abruptly. Right, they were at the cliffs. Climbing down was going to be so much fun with his injured torso and his spinning head. Let’s hope he wouldn’t slip and seriously hurt himself. That would suck big time.
Wendy was standing close to him as Stan looked down the cliffs and into the raging sea. The waves looked as if they would submerge anyone immediately that was too stupid to jump in. “I’m sorry, Stan, but I can’t let you do that”, she suddenly said sweetly. “Your body is about to change; they wouldn’t be able to help you anyway. But I know what can.”
“Oh really?” Stan was way too pissed to make sense of her words, especially because the searing pain didn't let him think straight. In retrospect, he should have taken those words more seriously- mistake number five. “So what would be more helpful than being treated by medical professionals, in your humble opinion?” He was being sarcastic, but Wendy smiled at him blissfully.
“Easy: The only thing you need now is seawater.”
“Holy crap. Something is seriously wrong with you. You-” He never ended the sentence. It only took Wendy a light push to make him stumble and fall off the cliffs. With a surprised yelp, Stan landed in the pitchblack sea. As soon as his body had made impact with the water, his world went black.