Archive of Our Own

Emma was distracted. It was their first match of the year so it wasn’t crucial for them to win, but since they played against Gryffindor, the Slytherins were determined not to lose. That being said, Emma got some angry glances in her direction when she dropped the quaffle; twice. 

She couldn’t help it, not when Lily Evans was sitting in the stands, rooting for her house and cheering loudly whenever they scored. She looked adorable with a Gryffindor scarf around her neck, red and golden lines painted on her cheeks. She was sitting next to Mary Macdonald. Emma only knew who Macdonald was because she was dating Emmeline, who was one of her best friends. They’ve talked once or twice and were on quite friendly terms but they never got really close. 

While Emma was thinking about Lily and her friends, a bludger almost took her head. She could dodge the last minute and when she turned to look at their beaters and question them why they didn’t send the bludgers away, she had to realise that it was her own beaters sending the balls into her direction.

She looked at them questioningly but they just shrugged. Emma interpreted it as “maybe if you paid attention..” and with a sigh she turned her focus back to the game. It was hard not to just stop and openly stare at Lily but she somehow managed. As the captain she really shouldn’t get distracted in the middle of the game. 

Emma was just about to pass the quaffle when the two seekers spotted the snitch almost at the same time and started racing for it. Everyone stopped for a minute and watched the two while holding their breath. Emma was conflicted, because as the Slytherin captain she wanted to win, but Gryffindor winning would make Lily happy. Luckily, she didn’t have to make the decision whether they would win or not. 

Black and McKinnon were right next to each other, going at the same speed but somehow McKinnon got in the way of Black and she caught the snitch. The Slytherins started groaning and some of the players took down their gloves and threw them on the ground. Emma looked in Dorcas’ direction to judge these boys together but she was already all over McKinnon, hugging and kissing her. She just sighed and instead just turned her attention back to Lily. 

She came running down from the stands with some of the Gryffindors to join the team’s group hug. When Potter noticed them, he freed himself from the others and basically jumped on Black, the older one. Emma just rolled her eyes and got down to the ground. As captain, it was her duty to congratulate the other team, so she slowly made her way to Potter. Just when Emma arrived, he grabbed Lily and hugged her tightly.

It was no secret in the school that the two had something going on, maybe even they didn’t know what exactly but it was something. Potter never directly stated it but his crush on Lily was obvious. Lily seemed to be oblivious to it though, but lately, they’ve been spending more time together and acting differently to each other in public. 

Fortunately, the hug didn’t last long, so the jealousy didn’t have time to take control of Emma. Lily deserved someone better. Yeah, sure, Potter was nice and whatnot, but he was a man through and through; a very childish one at that. Emma wouldn’t have wished to be in a relationship with a man upon her worst enemy. 

“Vanity!” Potter turned to her, beaming. Emma mentally rolled her eyes, again. Of course, he would be happy, he gets to win and hug Lily Evans. Life’s unfair, all that wasted on a man.

“Potter,” Emma didn’t mirror his enthusiasm but it didn’t seem to bother him. In the beginning, he tried to hug Emma, too, a few times, but by now he knew better, so he just extended his hand. 

“Good match, you scared me there for a second. I thought we’d lose,” Potter was still smiling, giving his undivided attention to Emma, but she saw the red hair from the corner of her eyes and she was gone.

“Yeah, we did, too. Anyways, congratulations. But don’t get too used to it, it won’t happen again,” she said absentmindedly and shook Potter’s hand. She nodded at the team with an awkward smile and got out of there as soon as possible. It took everything in her not to look back at Lily. On her way to the changing room, she grabbed Dorcas, not caring about her protest as she was pulled away from McKinnon. 

“Not a word,” she looked threateningly at Dorcas and stormed in the door, startling her teammates that were already in there. 

“So, we lost! Against Gryffindor. Isn’t that just wonderful?” She asked with a sarcastic smile on her face. To be completely honest, she didn’t even care that much, but wouldn’t have missed an opportunity when she gets to torment her male housemates.  

“Big words from someone who wasn’t even paying attention,” mumbled their third chaser. 

“What’s that, Rosier? Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that, I wasn’t paying attention,” Emma’s eyes turned cold when she looked at Rosier. It wasn’t new to anyone that Emma got especially rude with the boys, so all the others, knowing better, stayed silent. 

She didn’t really have anything left to say to them after this, so after quickly changing and informing everyone about the time of the next practice, she and Dorcas left. They were already halfway to the castle when Emma got tired of Dorcas’ questioning looks and stopped.

“What?”

“Nothing. I didn’t say anything,” Dorcas didn’t stop to wait for Emma, so she almost had to run after her. Dorcas Meadowes and her long legs will be the death of Emma; and not for the same reason as for McKinnon.

“But you thought of something. What is it? Get it out now, I don’t have the energy to deal with you later,” Emma sighed and braced herself for the interrogation. 

“Is it Lily? It has to be! The other two options are only Mary and Sirius but both are highly unlikely. So, it is Lily, isn’t it?” Dorcas was basically vibrating next to her, happy that for once she figured something out that could be held over Emma’s head; in a friendly manner of course. 

“Was it really obvious or do you just know me too well?” Emma asked, hoping the latter would be the answer. Not that she cares about what other people think of her, but she still didn’t want the whole school to know about her feelings for Lily, especially Lily herself. 

“I know you too well. But not well enough, apparently? Since when has this been going on? You didn’t tell me! And here I thought we were friends. You wound me, Vanity,” Dorcas dramatically gasped and pressed her hands where her heart is. 

“You’re around the Blacks too much, they’re a bad influence on you,” Emma just rolled her eyes and quickened her steps.

“Not the point. So… Since when? Does she know?”

“It’s been a while now,” Emma sighed. “I started liking her last year and I thought the feeling would go away during the summer since I won’t see her, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. And no, obviously she doesn’t know.”

“Ev, you’ve liked her for over a year now. We’re graduating in a few months and there’s no guarantee that you two will end up anywhere near each other. You might miss your chance if you don’t confess soon. What’s there to lose anyway,” Emma didn’t have time to explain that she doesn’t stand a chance with Lily because she was almost certainly dating Potter and Emma wouldn't want to make things awkward for everyone, because just when Dorcas finished speaking McKinnon appeared in front of them. 

“Hi, sorry. I don’t want to interrupt but we’re having a party tonight and Cas would come anyway but I wanted to invite you, too. And tell Talkalot, too, I couldn't find her,”  Emma was ready to say no but Dorcas answered in her place.

“She’ll be there,” she said, not caring about Emma’s murderous glances. 

“Meadowes-”

“Don’t think I’m letting you go this easily but duty calls,” Dorcas sighed and grabbing McKinnon’s hand, they left together. 

Emma just stood there for a few seconds, still processing what just happened and then started planning Dorcas’ death on her way to the castle. She did dumb shit like this one too many times, Emma can’t go easy on her forever. 

The last thing she wanted to do was go to a Gryffindor party. Firstly because it was to celebrate their win, which was a bit of a sore point for Emma, she, too, had pride after all. Secondly, because she didn’t want to watch Lily and Potter being all lovey-dovey all night, knowing that she’ll never have the chance to even hold Lily’s hand. 

But just for how long has she been dreaming about that… She lied to Dorcas earlier. The first time she started having feelings toward Lily wasn’t a year ago. It was back in third year, when she was struggling both with her studies and her family’s expectations to marry a pure-blood wizard right after she graduated, and Lily, always sweet Lily stumbled upon a crying Emma and stopped to comfort her. 

Emma always knew that she was different from the other girls. They were always talking about the boys they liked, their future husbands. Emma at first thought she just hadn't met the right person yet, but later in life, she’ll find one to her liking. After that afternoon she spent with Lily, however, she knew that she couldn’t find the right person because she had been looking in the wrong places. 

She knew that love between two girls was possible because when she was in first year Bellatrix Black’s and Rita Skeeter’s relationship caused quite a stir in the school. So yes, she always knew it was a thing but never would’ve thought that she was like them, too. Yet, after spending only two hours with Lily Evans, she suddenly realised everything. Why she never liked a boy before and why she got nauseous whenever her parents brought up her soon-to-be husband. 

This realisation changed her life in every aspect. She abandoned the friends she had only because her family wanted her to have them and befriended Dorcas Meadowes instead. One of their main bonding points was not being attracted to men. Through Dorcas, she became friends with Pandora, too, a lovely Ravenclaw. Her friend group made itself after that, without Emma having much say in it. That’s how she basically became an honorary Ravenclaw. 

She also, slowly but surely, stopped obeying her parents. Not that she didn’t love them, but one of their most important requests was that she behaves well so that her future wedding could go smoothly. No respected wizarding family would want a disgrace as their daughter-in-law after all. Hence, Emma dropped the act that was forced on her and from then on she was the meanest she could be toward every boy in the school. 

She was scolded for this through letters all year and also in person during the breaks but after seeing that her behaviour didn’t change at all, her parents gave up this summer. They tried to change her mind one last time but to no avail. Emma went back to Hogwarts for her seventh year knowing that she won’t get a single letter telling her to behave. Technically after this, she could’ve started being nicer but by that time Emma had a strong opinion that men are trash and most of them never did anything that could change her mind. Plus, they had nothing to offer to her, so it wasn’t her interest for boys to like her. 

Although it’s thanks to Lily that Emma turned out the way she did, Lily doesn’t know about it. After that afternoon, they never talked again. It was a day before the winter break and while Lily stayed in Hogwarts, Emma went home. She was thinking of Lily during the whole of the break, yet when she saw her again, she didn’t have the courage to talk to her. And Lily didn’t stop her either, just walked past her, probably not even seeing Emma because she was talking excitedly with Snape. 

Emma was disappointed because they didn’t get closer to each other, but she also could understand. For Lily, she probably didn’t mean more than a person that needed comfort and she surely wasn’t going to dump her love on Lily. She made peace with her one-sided love and let Lily live as if that interaction between them never happened. 

— 

“Vanity! I swear if you don’t get up right now,” Dorcas threatened Emma, who was still laying in her bed. She didn’t necessarily have to go back to the Slytherin dormitories but she was aware that Emma wouldn’t go to the party on her own, so she had to go back and get her. 

“Yeah, sure,” Emma murmured, munching on some peanuts. To be fair, Dorcas did warn her, so it’s solely Emma’s fault that she almost choked when Dorcas grabbed her legs and pulled her down the bed. 

“Have you lost your mind?” She tried to yell at Dorcas, but the coughing fit she got from swallowing one too many peanuts at once greatly hindered her. 

“Yes, when I thought it'd be a great idea to be your friend. But now, stop dying and get changed. Quickly. Even Lucinda is already there, we’ll be the latest to arrive. Or, technically only you, seeing that I’m coming from there” Emma was still glaring daggers at her when Dorcas pulled her up, but failing to find an escape route, she started looking for clothes to wear. 

Fifteen minutes later Emma was deemed ready by Dorcas. Emma tried to convince her one last time that she would be better off staying in their room, but Dorcas was having none of it. She was determined to get Emma to that party, even if that was the last thing she did. 

Any other time Dorcas wouldn’t be this pushy but now that she knows about Emma’s feelings, she was making sure that the two spend as much time in the same room as possible. 

“I’m swallowing my pride for you to do this, I hope you’re aware of that,” Emma said when they reached the Fat Lady’s portrait. 

“And I appreciate it very much,” Dorcas threw an arm around Emma’s shoulder and led her into the Gryffindor common room. Of course, she knows the password, thought Emma and mentally rolled her eyes. 

The common room was filled with people, someone must’ve cast an extension charm to fit everyone in there. Emma has never been to a Gryffindor party, so she had no idea what to expect. She heard stories, of course, but that’s still different from being there in person. 

She looked around and at first glance, it seemed like only fifth years and up were invited. Potter and Black, as usual, were the centre of attention. They were standing on a table, Black had her tie tied around her head and both were singing obnoxiously loud. 

Emma grimaced when Dorcas started walking in their direction. Their presence was so overwhelming that Emma didn’t notice at first that the girls with Lupin and Pettigrew were standing next to the table Potter and Black were on, probably to catch them would they fall. 

“Dorcas told us that she’s going to go get you but we didn’t believe she'd succeed,” Macdonald was grinning at Emma from next to Emmeline. She wasn’t completely wasted yet, but she seemed closer to being drunk than to tipsy. 

“Macdonald,” Emma smiled at her awkwardly, acknowledging that she was talked to but not knowing what to say. 

“Charming as ever,” Emmeline laughed and passed a glass full of some yellowish liquid to Emma. 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t let any of them near the drinks,” Lily said, seeing Emma hesitating. She was right, Emma was suspicious, rightfully so, of the drinks. The four Gryffindor, or as they liked to call themselves the marauders ( What a ridiculous name, thought Emma), charmed their drinks or put different kinds of potions into them during breakfast or dinner on many occasions. 

Emma just nodded and took a sip from the cup, not at all focused on the drink. Lily looked beautiful that night. Not that she usually doesn’t look beautiful, but now she must’ve chosen her outfit and made her makeup with extra attention, probably for Potter. At that thought the originally sweet drink turned bitter in her mouth. 

No one was sitting near the fireplace, so leaving only Lupin and Pettigrew to supervise Potter and Black, they moved there. On their way, Emma saw Amelia, Sybil and Lucinda in a corner but couldn’t stop to go talk to them because both Dorcas and Emmeline were dragging her with them. 

Macdonald and McKinnon sat down in the two armchairs and Emmeline and Dorcas sat next to their respective person. This left Lily and Emma with nowhere else to sit but on the couch together. The sitting surface wasn’t big, whenever one of them moved, their shoulders and thighs touched. Dorcas was conspicuously avoiding Emma’s gaze, making it obvious that she did this on purpose. They could’ve chosen from many empty places to sit, but they had to come to the one where Lily and Emma were forced to sit in close proximity to each other. 

The conversation went on between the five of them and Emma tried to pay attention, she really did, but how could she when Lily Evans was sitting right next to her with their hands almost touching? She knew it was not right and she should do something about it since she has a boyfriend, but she couldn’t move an inch. She took a deep breath and let herself be in Lily’s presence only for that night. We’re not even doing anything, she reasoned with herself, we’re just sitting here. And we probably won’t even speak again anyway.

“-Vanity!”

“Hm? Yeah, sorry, did you say something?” Emmeline’s voice brought her back from her thoughts. She didn’t know what the topic of the conversation was, but apparently, her remarks were needed. 

“if you actually paid attention,” at this Dorcas let out a laugh that resulted in Emma sending her murderous glances, “you would know that Mary here just asked you how you feel about the results of today’s match.”

“Oh. Well, as an individual or as the team’s captain? Because if the former, then I couldn’t care less; this was the very first this year, we have plenty of time to catch up. As the latter though, it’s unacceptable, especially since it was Gryffindor we lost to, and I’m coming up with a new practice schedule. Which I probably shouldn’t have told you, but you’ll know when we practise anyway thanks to Dorcas, so,” she shrugged and drank what was left in her cup. 

“I swear, Vanity if you double the practices we already have…” In Dorcas’ defence, she tried to sound threatening, but the alcohol was starting to get her under its influence, too. 

“I was thinking of tripling it,” Emma grinned at Dorcas, who just threw her empty cup at her. 

“You know,” Lily started, which immediately put Emma in a good mood, “you should talk with James. He really doesn’t know how to differentiate between the two, individual and captain I mean.” And there goes the good mood. 

“Yeah, sure,” Emma gave a soft smile to Lily, trying her very best to control her expressions. 

Speaking of the devil.

“Are you talking about me?” Potter appeared suddenly next to them and sat down on the arm of the couch but he couldn’t support his weight and was basically laying on top of Lily. She just laughed and shifted a bit. With that little movement, she got closer to Emma, whose breath hitched at the sudden contact. 

“Yeah, how you’re insufferable when it comes to quidditch and you should take Emma as an example,” surprisingly it was McKinnon answering him. Emma knew that she was just as obsessed with quidditch as Potter was up until she started dating Dorcas. She still loved the sport passionately but she suddenly started to see just how unreasonable it was that they spent most of their free time practising. 

They spent some more time talking about Potter’s ridiculous quidditch obsession and then they started jumping from topic to topic. Their latest transfiguration essay, dating rumours among the professors, Potter and his friends’ latest prank, what’ll they do after graduation. Emma was proud of herself for holding up well and engaging in the conversation, while Lily and her boyfriend were basically hugging each other next to her. 

She knew that she had no right to be jealous, but when Potter passed out from being drunk and Lily started to play with his hair, she couldn’t take it anymore. She excused herself saying that she hadn't slept much the night before and she was tired and left as quickly as possible.  

After she got out on the portrait hole, she leaned on the wall for a second to compose herself. She felt horrible. She was sad and jealous, but most of all mad. Mad at herself for not being able to be happy for Lily. She likes her, she wants her to be, but for some reason, it was really hard for her to be genuinely happy about Lily’s relationship. Emma knew there was no reason for her not to be, they looked so good together and based on what she has seen Potter is treating her well, but there was that little nasty voice in her head saying that it should be her. It should be Emma who looks good together with Lily and it should be Emma who’s treating Lily right, not Potter; he didn’t deserve her. 

She didn’t notice until she was staring at the tapestry, but while being lost in her thoughts, she unconsciously went to the place where she first talked with Lily. There was plenty of room behind the tapestry and now, just like in third year, she chose to hide behind it. This was the first time she’s been back there in the past almost four years. 

She didn’t cry like back then, she just felt empty. She looked back at the past couple of years and she felt like she was wasting her life. She was stuck in loving someone that will never love her back. She spent years yearning for Lily, hoping that one day she’ll get the courage to tell her how she feels, just for it to be snatched away from her right before the finish line. 

Considering that they’ll graduate soon and, like Dorcas said, there’s a possibility that they’ll end up far from each other, she wanted to do it before the winter break. That way if she said no they would’ve had to spend only a few months close to each other but if she said yes, they could still have experienced what is it like to date as students, to go to Hogsmeade together, to work together in potions, to study together in the library, to sneak around in the corridors after curfew and try not to get caught by Filch or any professors. 

Emma smiled bittersweetly when she remembered that Lily will experience all these, just not with her. In all these fantasies she had about them together, Emma will be replaced by Potter and there’s nothing she can do about it. Even if she could, she wouldn’t. She won’t be the one to ruin Lily’s happiness just because she’s jealous. 

She decided that starting tomorrow, she would change. She won’t be moping around and will do her best to forget about Lily. For now though, in the safety of the tapestry, she let the sadness wash over her and did nothing to stop her tears when they slowly started to run down her cheeks. 

—

Except for Emma’s friends, no one in the school noticed that she changed. How could they when Emma did her best to hide it? Not even her friends knew what exactly was different but they knew that something was off about her. 

They let her be for a while, silently observing her, but after a few days, they’ve had enough and cornered Emma in her room. 

Emma was sitting on her bed, revising for the N.E.W.T.s when Dorcas, Lucinda, Amelia, Emmeline, Sybill and Pandora burst in the door. From the force they came with, Dorcas, who was leading this group, almost fell over but Lucinda caught her at the last moment. 

“Have you finally decided that I’ll be the sacrifice for one of your weird rituals and you came to take me to the Forbidden Forest?” Emma sighed and looked tiredly at her friends. She loved them to death but they could be a bit too much at times. 

“What? No! We don’t make living sacrifices, what are you even thinking!?” Emma must’ve stunned them with her way of thinking because the determination on their faces turned into a mix of hurt and confusion. 

“That was my best guess, though. If it’s not, then I’ve no idea why you rushed in here with so much force that you almost took the door with you,” she answered Amelia, and knowing that they won’t leave for a while, she put her notes aside. 

They all sat down on Emma’s bed, basically trapping her in the middle. She looked around them suspiciously, sensing that an unpleasant conversation lays ahead. 

“What?”

“Ev, I want to start this by saying that we love you,” Sybill started, which immediately turned on Emma’s flight or fight response. She knew them well enough that nothing good ever follows that sentence. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Lucinda Talkalot, charming as ever. Lucinda was often blunt and straightforward and based on the looks the others gave her, she was instructed either to take on a softer mannerism or not to talk at all. 

“What do you mean?” Emma asked, trying to maintain a calm expression. She guessed that her friends might sense that something's wrong but she didn’t think that they would ask her about it this soon. 

“Come on, Ev. You’re not fooling anyone, we can see that something happened. We’re worried about you,” Pandora put a hand on her shoulder and slowly started caressing her. Emma appreciated the gesture but she still wasn’t going to tell them about Lily. Because there’s nothing to tell, she reminded herself. 

“Nothing happened. Seriously, I’m fine!”

“Ev. You don’t want to tell us what it is, that’s alright. You don’t have to. But please don’t say that you’re alright when you’re not,” Emmeline looked at her with a sad smile, and that was enough for Emma to let herself feel again. She has been hurting in the past days more than she ever has before, but she suppressed these feelings, trying her best to act like they were not even there. She meant it when she decided to close Lily Evans out of her life. She hasn't let herself even think of her since that night. 

And look at her now, all these feelings that she was supposed to feel in the course of days crashing her all at once.  

“I,” she started but the sudden appearance of her tears didn’t let her finish. She quickly wiped them away but they just didn’t stop coming. 

Dorcas was the closest to her so she was the first to hug Emma but not even a second later all the others joined too. None of them said anything just held onto her until she calmed down. Emma felt the safest and most peaceful at that moment in a while now. 

“Alright, now all of you go and grab your pyjamas and whatnot. We’re having a sleepover,” Dorcas announced when Emma got visibly less tense and was just silently sniffing, leaning against Dorcas. 

After making sure that Emma was feeling at least slightly better, the five of them left to get the things they needed. 

“You didn’t tell them,” Emma whispered, holding tightly onto Dorcas. 

“Of course, I didn’t. It’s not my place to tell,” Dorcas said and gently played with Emma’s hair. 

“I know but… They said they were worried and I thought you would, you know, to calm them down or something,” she mumbled.

“It is about her then, isn't it? I wasn’t sure but I didn’t want to pry. Did something happen at the party? You started to act like this after that night,” Emma looked up at Dorcas with a surprised expression but she couldn’t ask what she meant by that, because just then Lucinda came back. It made sense that she would be the first to return since she only had to go to the room right next to them. 

“I brought snacks,” she said and held up a bag full of sweets. If Emma saw it right, only her favourites were in it. 

“Come here,” Emma extended her arm toward Lucinda with a smile and she joined their hug. She might’ve been rude sometimes, unaware of the weight her words held but she was the sweetest person to ever walk the earth. She was also the youngest in their friend group so naturally, everyone adored her. 

Dorcas and Lucinda started planning what they should do for the rest of the afternoon and during the night but Emma wasn’t paying attention to them. She was thinking about what Dorcas said or rather asked earlier. She was there the whole time, how could she not know that Emma was sitting next to Lily and her boyfriend for almost an hour? Could she have been so drunk that she didn’t remember? 

A few minutes later the Ravenclaws came back too and Emma decided not to think much about it. She would just enjoy this night with her friends and dump all the love she has on them. 

—

After that sleepover, she was feeling so much better. It still felt like a stab in the guts whenever she saw Lily, especially if she was with Potter, but other than those few times she was fairly well. 

It was exactly two weeks before the winter break when Emma spent the afternoon in the library to give Dorcas and McKinnon some privacy. Usually, they stayed in McKinnon’s room but that day for some reason they couldn’t. Emma thought maybe Lily or Macdonald needed the room for some reason, so you can imagine her surprise when the two of them strutted into the library. 

She wasn’t planning on acknowledging their presence and after a quick glance, she went back to her transfiguration essay. The two girls seemingly had other plans because they went straight to Emma.

“Hi! Can we sit here?” Lily asked Emma with an angelic smile. All Emma could do was smile back awkwardly and give her a little nod. 

Lily took the seat across from Emma and Macdonald sat next to Lily. Emma tried to look very busy with looking for something in the first book she picked up from the table and used all her willpower not to look up from the pages. She knew she wouldn't get any work done, not when Lily Evans was sitting in front of her. She was both sad and excited.

“I’ve never really seen you studying in the library,” Lily said after the silence dragged out for minutes. Emma’s heartbeat quickened but she tried to act calm.

“Yeah, usually I study in my room. But Dorcas kicked me out, so,” Emma shrugged and put the book down. She didn’t want to be rude by not even looking at Lily when she was talking to her. 

“Oh, sorry about that, I’m responsible for it. Em is coming over later,” Macdonald sent an apologetic smile toward Emma. 

“That’s alright. I knew sooner or later she would get rid of me,” Emma joked and both Lily and Macdonald started laughing. Lily’s laugh was beautiful. Emma has seen her smile before but never heard her laugh. She thought if angels are real, Lily Evans must be one. No one and nothing else could be as ethereal as she was. 

“And that’s my cue. See you later,” Macdonald said looking at the door. Emmeline was standing there, waving at them. Emma waved back with a smile. Both Lily and Emma said goodbye to her and turned back to each other. 

Emma wasn’t expecting to stay alone with Lily. The awkward tension, that probably only Emma could feel, returned. 

“They’re cute together,” Lily said.

“I remember when Em was freaking out about their first date,” Emma smiled fondly. It was on a Saturday, and all seven of them were huddled up in the Ravenclaw dormitory, helping Emmeline get ready for her date. 

“I do, too, with Mary. Marls and I have spent so much time doing her makeup and picking out her outfit. We had to redo everything at least four times,” Lily acted like she was complaining but there was no edge to her voice. 

“What about you, though? It’s the weekend, you aren’t going on a date?” Emma dared to ask, and it took her a few seconds until she could look back into Lily’s eyes. She fidgeted with her hands under the table, readying herself for Lily’s answer.

“Hm, what do you mean?” She sounded confused but the kind expression never left her face. 

“With Potter?” Seeing Lily’s reaction, Emma wasn’t so sure about what she thought to be true anymore. 

“With James? Why would I go on a date with James?” 

“Aren’t you two together?” And there it was, the thing Emma was really curious about. If you asked her a few minutes earlier, Emma would’ve said that Lily and Potter are definitely dating. Now she was seriously doubting that. 

“With James?” Lily repeated with humour gleaming in her eyes. “Merlin, no! We’re just friends. Our feelings toward each other are solely platonic, I swear!”

Emma’s whole body went cold and her eyes widened. She started this conversation thinking that she’ll get the confirmation she needs to finally completely move on from Lily but it backfired on her. 

She felt stupid. She fell into a depressive state because of a misunderstanding. It wasn’t even a misunderstanding, she just assumed something and without any confirmation she just went with it. She could've asked Dorcas or Emmeline a hundred times. Or she could’ve asked literally anyone. Many people were wondering whether Lily and Potter dated or not, it wouldn’t have been that weird or suspicious. 

She wanted to both laugh and cry but she held back because she didn’t want to scare Lily with her sudden outburst. Oh, Lily! Emma almost forgot that the main character of her thoughts was currently with her. 

“I, uh… I’m sorry for assuming just you two looked… You know, like, closer to each other? More than in the previous years at least. I’m sorry, really. I didn’t mean to- to be like this. And I swear I didn’t spread any rumours! So if you heard anything I can assure you I didn’t start it. This is exactly what someone who did start a rumour would say but please believe me, I never did such thing. I would-,”

“Emma, hey! It’s alright, you have nothing to apologise for. Half the school thinks the same, and to be honest, I don’t really care. Now all the important people know the truth, and what anyone else thinks is not my problem,” Lily cut her off and explained with a soft smile. 

If Emma wouldn’t have been in the panicking state she was in, she wouldn’t have missed Lily’s very last sentence. But she did miss it and all she could think of is how embarrassing this situation is. She wanted to sink into the ground and just disappear forever. She should be feeling overbearing happiness over the information she just obtained but all she felt was shame. She has never in her life felt so embarrassed before. 

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” Lily asked. Emma couldn’t really process what was happening at the moment, so she just shook her head absent-mindedly. “Great! Let’s go to Hogsmeade together then. I’ll meet you at the front door at ten o’clock.” And with that, Lily was gone. 

“What?” Emma whispered when what Lily just said caught up with her. 

She was confused, to say the least. Lily Evans, the girl she has liked for four years now and who she thought is in a relationship, just asked her to go to Hogsmeade together. She was trying to stay rational and not to think of it as a date but given the circumstances, it seemed very much like a date. Or maybe she was just seeing too much into it? 

She had to ask Dorcas immediately but there was still almost an hour left until they agreed that she can go back and she won’t just storm in while who knows what they’re doing with McKinnon. She went through her options and decided to try the Ravenclaws, if she’s lucky enough Lucinda is with them too. She can be subtle about it, she doesn’t have to say any names and present it as a hypothetical question for now. She’ll tell them later what exactly it was about. 

She quickly put the books back on their shelves and basically ran to the Ravenclaw dormitories, hoping that she’ll find them there. Emma quickly answered the riddle and got into the common room. A few Ravenclaws were there but no one seemed surprised to see her there, since it was a common occurrence for the three Slytherins to camp in their friends’ room. 

“I have a hypothetical question,” she didn’t even say hi after bursting into the room just straight up got to the point. 

“Are you alright Ev? You look a bit…” Amelia couldn’t find the right words to describe Emma’s appearance but fortunately, Lucinda was there to help her out. “Hysterical.” 

Emma, not even sparing a glance at her, just closed the door behind her and sat on Pandora’s bed. They very kindly offered her some of the chocolate they were eating but Emma ignored them too. 

“Hypothetically, let’s just say that there’s a person that you’ve liked for a while now. It’s all hypothetical, really, but let’s say that you thought this person got into a relationship. And once more, a hypothetical scenario, but you asked this person about said relationship and they said they’re, in fact, not together just very good friends. And then, let’s say this person told you that they’re going to go to Hogsmeade with you. Not even asked, just straight up informed you about it. Hypothetically, right, would this be considered a date or not?” Emma finished breathing heavily, and when she finally looked at her friends, they were all staring at her with wide eyes. 

“You were asked out?” Sybill said in an unusually high voice. All of them seemed excited, Pandora was basically vibrating next to Emma. 

“I don’t know, was- I mean, what do you mean? Me? No, it’s just a hypothetical scenario, remember?” Emma quickly corrected herself, but by that point, she was trying to save something that couldn’t be saved. 

“Yeah, sure. Then was this person in this hypothetical scenario asked out?” Amelia rolled her eyes and asked Emma again.

“That’s what I’m asking you! Were they?”

“I’m pretty sure you were. Or, sorry, they were,” Lucinda chimed in. 

“Yeah, right, right,” Emma mumbled and fixed her gaze on the floor.  

“So… In this hypothetical scenario, do we know who this hypothetical person is that asked out our hypothetical person?” Pandora asked Emma, but apparently, Amelia had had enough of the word hypothetical because she snapped at them. 

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake! Everybody knows it’s about you Emma, no need to be all ‘hypothetical’. So, who asked you out?” 

“Lily Evans,” Emma whispered and threw herself across Pandora’s lap. 

“Evans? Isn’t she dating Potter?” Sybill asked in a dreamy voice. 

“That’s what I thought! But looks like she’s not?” Emma intended to say this as a statement but it came out more like a question. 

“That’s why you were sad! Oh, my love,” Pandora said with a sad smile and pressed a kiss to Emma’s forehead. 

“You like Evans?” Lucinda sounded so surprised that Emma had to lift her head up and look at her.

“Yes. Is that so shocking?”

“What? No, just I thought you liked her because you were staring at her during the quidditch game but you never said anything about it so I thought I just picked up on the clues wrongly,” Lucinda explained and shrugged. 

“You noticed?” Now it was Emma’s turn to be surprised. She was sure that only Dorcas figured it out but seems like she was wrong, again. 

“That’s why Mulciber wanted to hit you with the bludger!” Sybill exclaimed. 

“Yes, but totally not the point. Is it a date or not?”

“Ev, she told you that she isn’t in a relationship and right after told you to go to Hogsmeade with her. Use your brain, darling,” Amelia looked at her with a tired expression. 

“So it’s a date?”

“Yes.”

Emma let out a nervous chuckle and finally realised the weight of this situation. She’s going on a date with Lily Evans. With the Lily Evans that she has been in love with for such a long time. And it’s going to happen before the winter break and it wasn’t her who asked Lily out. 

“I don’t even know what to wear,” she whispered, her eyes unfocused. 

“No worries, we’ll help you. Lu, go get Emmeline. We’re going to the Slytherin dormitory,” Sybill instructed and Emma didn’t have time to protest because she was already dragged to her feet and was outside of the Ravenclaw dormitory in a blink of an eye. She wanted to stop Lucinda from bothering Emmeline when she was with her girlfriend but she probably wouldn’t have cared. 

By the time they got to Emma’s room, Marlene was nowhere to be seen, only Dorcas was sitting on her bed. Seeing them rush into the room didn’t surprise Dorcas as much as it should've and that made Emma suspicious. 

“What are you so calm about?” She asked, looking Dorcas up and down. 

“Me? Calm? I’ve never been this un-calm in my whole life,” she said sarcastically. “Anyways, what’s the fuss about? Could it be… Someone’s going on a date?” Her well-faked shocked expression was rewarded with a pillow in her face thrown by Emma.

“You have something to do with this, don’t you!?” After each word, Dorcas got hit but she was laughing so hard that she could neither answer nor defend herself. 

Amelia tried to take the pillow from Emma, but instead of succeeding she only got hit with it too. Everyone froze for a second but then Amelia picked up another pillow and hit Emma. This resulted in a pillow fight with Sybill and Pandora joining in. When Lucinda and Emmeline arrived, they could barely see from all the flying feathers in the air. 

—

The next morning was spent in a rush. Even though it was a Saturday and no one in their friend group was a morning person, all seven of them were already up at six in the morning. They ended up spending the night once again in Dorcas and Emma’s room and talked through almost the whole night. Despite interrogating Dorcas for hours long, she wouldn’t utter a word about how she knew of the date. Realistically, it could’ve been that she walked McKinnon back to the Gryffindor Tower and there she met Lily and she told her but… Dorcas seemed too smug to have found it out in such a mundane way. 

Getting ready for Emma’s date was pretty much the same as it was when Dorcas or when Emmeline got ready for theirs. They’ve changed the outfit multiple times but ended up going with the one they originally picked, one would think they would know better after doing that two times but seemingly they’ll never change. Emma’s makeup got smudged at least three times so they had to redo that too. And between all these they had to give instructions on how not to faint would Lily make physical contact with her and just overall how not to embarrass herself like she did yesterday.

She left the dormitory fifteen minutes before ten. She wanted her friends to go with her and stay there at least until Lily arrived but after everyone hugged her, they literally tossed her out the door. It took everything in her not to go back and just hex the lot of them but in the end, she decided to be the bigger person and let it slide. 

When she got there she was surprised to see Lily already waiting for her. She checked her watch, afraid that she misread it and was actually late, but no, she was there a little more than ten minutes earlier. 

Emma stopped for a second, using the fact that Lily didn’t see her yet to her advantage, and took a deep breath to calm herself. After she was sure that she wouldn't trip on her way to Lily, she finally walked up to her. 

“Hi.”

“Emma, hi!” Lily greeted her enthusiastically. She looked beautiful that morning. Emma has seen her in casual clothing before but then she somehow was different. She seemed to be glowing. 

“You’re here early,” Emma was proud of herself that she could say that without a delay. 

“You are, too. I didn’t want you to wait in case you came early,” she smiled sweetly at Emma. Her heart skipped a beat, and Emma was sure if the last thing she saw in her life was Lily Evans’ smile, she would be more than happy to go. 

“Then, shall we?” Emma asked and pointed at the door. Lily nodded and they went out, their shoulders almost touching. 

It was awkward at first. Emma wasn’t sure how to describe it but it wasn’t a bad kind of awkwardness. It was more like the type when you want to know everything about the person you’re with, but you also want to share everything about yourself, so in the end, you don’t really know what to say and you rather just stay quiet, waiting for the other to break the silence. It was awkwardness mixed with excitement. 

Their way to the village was magical. The first snow that fell a few days ago was covering the road and the trees in the background. Probably they were the first ones to leave the castle because the snow on the road was still untouched. Everything was silent around them. 

Emma has been dreaming about this moment for so long and now that it finally came she couldn’t believe it. She was waiting for her to wake up and realise it was all just a dream. She didn’t understand how she could deserve the attention of Lily Evans. There were so many people who would have done anything to even just hang out with Lily and she ended up choosing Emma. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Of course, it was Lily who broke the silence first. 

“I was just wondering if… I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but we’re on a date, right?” Doesn’t matter how many times her friends reassured Emma that Lily didn’t ask her to hang out just as friends, she still felt the need to clarify it with Lily, too. She once went with her assumption after all and that led to many sleepless nights.  

“Well, I would hope so,” Lily answered and Emma’s cheeks immediately turned pink. 

“I just– I just wanted to make sure,” Emma grimaced at her own words. “And, where were you thinking of going?”

“I thought we could go to Madam Puddifoot’s first and plan the rest of the day while eating breakfast. If that’s okay with you, of course,” Lily quickly added. 

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” Emma smiled at Lily. They spent the rest of the journey to the tea shop in silence but their hands got much closer to each other’s. 

—

The tea shop was empty when they arrived. Upon hearing them come in, Madam Puddifoot immediately went up to them and guided them to a table. She knew them both well since both of them spent a lot of time in that tea shop during the weekends. They exchanged a few words, and then she went to make their orders. 

“Can I ask you something?” Emma asked and Lily nodded while taking a sip from the tea they were served while waiting for the food. “Do you remember me? From third year.”

Emma was always curious about this but before she never had the chance to ask. Now she got the perfect opportunity and decided not to miss it. 

“Of course, how could I not,” Lily answered sincerely. 

“Oh, I thought you wouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know just… We never talked after and I kind of just assumed that,” Emma shrugged and she, too, lifted her teacup to her lips. 

“I wanted to. Ask you how you were feeling and how was the break but I didn’t want to seem like I’m prying so I just didn’t. And I think a part of me was waiting for you to come to me and you never did. After a while I just let it go,” Lily’s voice wasn’t having an accusing tone to it, she was just stating facts, but Emma still felt bad about it. Lily was waiting for her and she didn’t go.

“Well, I guess we’re destined to have misunderstandings between us. I was waiting for you, too. I didn’t want to seem like I’m only going to you to talk about my problems so I thought to myself that if you make the first step, I wouldn’t hesitate any more and seek out your company. But that never happened and you were also with Snape all the time back then so it wouldn’t even have been easy to just go up to you.”

Lily couldn’t answer her because just then Madam Puddifoot came with their breakfast and it broke the flow of the conversation. They started eating and the next time they spoke was about their plans for the rest of the day. 

—

Their next destination was Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop. They both needed new quills and decided to do what they normally would in Hogsmeade just together. 

By that time Hogwarts students started to appear on the streets. It was way past eleven, so it only made sense that they would start to come, yet Emma couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed. She knew they wouldn’t be alone all day but she was hoping that they would get a little more time before the noisy students flooded the village. 

Fortunately, only two Hufflepuffs were in the quill shop aside from them. They went through all the quills as if they were that interesting just so that they could be away from the crowd longer. 

“What’s your favourite colour?” Lily asked out of nowhere while looking at the tenth same-looking quill. 

“I’ve never really thought of that, to be honest. But I like green, which is a cliche, I know, and also grey and purple, the lavender kind. What about you?”

“I don’t have one that I could say it’s my favourite, but I really like brown. And also pink. It’s such a pretty colour,” Lily said after thinking for a few seconds. 

Soon after they left the shop and went to Honeydukes while it wasn’t that crowded. Lily and Emma agreed that both of them would choose a few of their favourites and the other would try it. Since neither of them liked to experiment, this little agreement worked well with them since Emma hadn't tried at least half of Lily’s favourites and vice versa. 

After buying everything they needed, they went to find an empty bench near the shop. They cast heating charms on the bench and on themselves so that they wouldn’t freeze and started exchanging the sweets. 

At first, they took it very seriously and had honest reviews about the sweets chosen by the other but after they went through everything new, they turned to the “more fun” candies. That’s how they ended up spitting out Betty Bott’s Every Flavour Beans in a bag in a very disgusting manner. Emma never would’ve even imagined that on her first date with Lily, she’ll nearly throw up from a worm-flavoured candy. 

While they were sitting there they both saw their friends but they just waved to each other and didn’t stop talking. Everyone was probably aware of the fact that they were on a date which made Emma think. 

“Lily.”

“Hm?” She looked at Emma questioningly while chewing on some chocolate. 

“Have you told your friends about me?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Nothing, just– I’m really happy right now,” Emma said with a shy smile.

“I’m glad that you’re happy. I’m happy, too,” Lily took Emma’s hand and intertwined it with hers. Emma’s heartbeat took on some crazy rhythm and she was afraid it was so loud that even Lily would hear it. 

She was holding hands with Lily Evans. 

Emma stared at their hands for a few seconds and then she lifted her gaze to look into Lily’s eyes. She could’ve melted because of the softness she saw in them. Lily was looking at her like she was the centre of her universe. 

They were sitting there for a long while, not talking, not doing anything, just holding hands and looking at each other. Emma wouldn’t have exchanged these minutes for anything. At this moment it felt like everything clicked into its right place. All the puzzle pieces were finally together and Emma knew that her life was whole with Lily Evans in it. 

—

They spent the whole day together in Hogsmeade and only headed back to the castle when the sun started to set. They used this day to get to know each other more. They told each other about their families, their views on life, their plans after graduation, and what they like to do in their free time. If Emma had to relive a day over and over again, she’d definitely choose this one. 

“Do you want to do something tomorrow?” Lily asked when they crossed the threshold of Hogwarts. 

“I’d love to, more than anything but we’re having quidditch practice and I’m afraid we won’t be able to finish until around seven o’clock.” Emma was cursing herself for making attendance at every practice obligatory and for yelling at them during the last one that they'll be there for twice as long as usual next Sunday and that if someone doesn’t attend they'll be out of the team because they annoyed her. Technically she could reschedule it but it's already hard enough for her to make them take her seriously and if after threatening them she would just go back on her word all of her efforts would just go down the drain. 

“Would you mind if I went to watch, then?” 

“No at all but are you sure? It’ll be very boring I can assure you,” Emma said furrowing her brows. 

“See you tomorrow then,” Lily ignored the “you’ll be bored” part and after squeezing Emma’s hand, she left. 

Emma was still smiling when she got back to her room, thinking about the day she just had. Lily was the most amazing person she’d ever had the fortune to know. She was kind, considerate and selfless but also had a strong personality. She didn’t let people walk all over her and took the lead if she needed to. 

Emma was still lost in her thoughts when she stepped into the room and someone immediately started shaking her and screaming at her. It was Lucinda and after looking behind her, Emma saw that all of her friends were there, too. Not that she wasn’t expecting this but she didn’t think that she’d be greeted this enthusiastically. 

They took the bags from her hands and after making her sit on Dorcas’ bed since that was the closest, they trapped Emma once again. Despite the fact that last night they got only about three hours of sleep, they were talking until the sun rose above the horizon. 

The others didn’t want to go to sleep yet but since Dorcas and Emma had practice in a few hours they ended up going to their own rooms; though Lucinda probably went with the Ravenclaws. 

Emma had a hard time falling asleep, even though her eyes were burning from how tired she was. All she could think about  was Lily, their date that already happened and the one that will happen later that day. She was both excited and scared. On one hand, she couldn’t be happier that she’ll see Lily and spend time with her after the practice is over but on the other hand, she was afraid of what Lily will think of her after seeing how she’s as a captain. It’s not that she’s unfair or would treat them the way they don’t deserve it but she was cold and rude without a doubt. 

She finally fell asleep having these concerns and when she woke up they came back without letting her catch a break. She checked her watch and since there were only two hours until they had to leave, she decided to get up. She looked over at Dorcas’ bed but it was already empty. Groaning, Emma dragged herself to the bathroom and when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror she almost got scared. She looked like she just went through an apocalypse. 

“Great,” she whispered resignedly and quickly washed her face and tried to make herself presentable. 

Breakfast was already over and lunch wasn’t until an hour later, but instead of going to the kitchen to ask for some food from the house elves, she just munched some of the snacks they bought with Lily yesterday. She was still eating those when Dorcas came back to get her quidditch gear. 

“Ev! How many times have we talked about this before? Don’t eat sweets on an empty stomach.” While speaking Dorcas pulled the bag of candies from Emma’s hand. 

“But I was hungry,” she sighed and accepted her defeat. Dorcas didn’t even bother to answer her, just blankly stared at her for a second. 

Seeing Dorcas getting ready, Emma also gathered all her energy and went to look for her own gear. Emma wasn’t usually a messy person but she tended to just throw her things into the closet after practices because she was too tired to put them away nicely. The days after she was too lazy to do it so before each practice she spent at least ten minutes looking for her gloves or her knee braces. 

They met Lucinda in the common room and they headed to the quidditch pitch together. The team was already there, warming up while waiting. 

“We were kinda hoping that you wouldn’t come and we would finally be free from you,” Avery said to Mulciber and Rosier but he said it loud enough that he obviously intended Emma to hear it. 

“I was hoping the same about you lot. You can imagine my disappointment,” Emma said in a pained voice, knowing that both she and Avery were telling the truth. “Where’s Black?” 

“If you cared even a little bit, you would've seen him on the stands when you passed him,” Rosier had an extraordinary talent to be annoying and get on Emma’s nerves. 

Dorcas was about to call Black over but he was already on his way. In Emma’s opinion, he was the most tolerable one. It was a real shame that he associated with people like Rosier and Crouch. 

They were good an hour into the practice when Lily finally appeared and her presence caused quite a stir. Avery and Mulciber were loudly protesting against Lily being there but all of it was in vain. 

“All right! If you aren’t bothered by Lily sitting on the stands, raise your hand,” Emma sighed with her hand already up in the air. Not even a beat later Dorcas and Lucinda joined her, too. It took a few seconds and the intensive staring from Dorcas but Black ended up raising his hand too, and since he did, Rosier followed him with a bitter expression. “Now that we’re done with that, could you two start playing like you didn’t just escape from a retirement home?”

The rest of the practice went smoothly, aside from the fact that it took everything in Emma to concentrate on the game and not on Lily. She managed to do it and she also yelled less than usual so she counted it as a victory. 

The boys were the first to leave, only Black nodding at them as a form of saying goodbye. Lucinda and Dorcas both hugged Emma before leaving and wished her good luck. Otherwise, it would’ve been a sweet gesture but Emma felt a bit hurt because they didn’t believe that she wouldn’t embarrass herself in front of Lily. 

“Hi,” Lily came down to Emma. 

“Hi! I’m sorry for having to wait for so long,” Emma scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. 

“That’s alright, I’d wait forever for you if I had to.”

Emma immediately turned a deep shade of red upon hearing Lily’s words. 

“Merlin, do you intend to kill me? Because if yes, then keep saying things like that and I’ll get a heart attack sooner or later,” Emma was overwhelmed with emotions, she couldn’t even look directly at Lily. When she finally dared to look up, Lily was staring at her with a lovely smile. She felt like she had to say something, otherwise she would combust on the spot. 

“So… Do you have anything in mind you’d like to do, or?” 

“Nothing in particular. I just want to be with you,” Emma buried her face into her hands and decided that if she doesn’t want to make a complete fool out of herself, she has to get away from Lily for a few minutes.

“How about this then, I’ll go and change quickly and then we could go on a walk,” Emma proposed and after giving it some thought Lily agreed. Emma could see on her face that she wasn’t thinking about whether to reject her idea or not but rather if she should say something inappropriate about Emma changing her clothes. 

Emma was really changing hurriedly, not even bothering with folding her quidditch uniform and she just tossed her broom on the floor when she stepped into the changing room. Before going back to Lily, she washed her face with cold water to clear her head and put on some mascara. 

She had never in her life before gotten ready so fast so when she reached the stands where Lily was waiting for her, she was panting silently. 

“Can we…?”Lily asked while reaching for Emma’s hand. Since she didn’t finish her question it could’ve been either about the two of them holding hands or leaving for the walk. Either way, Emma just grabbed Lily’s hand and followed her. She would go anywhere Lily took her. 

They were walking in comfortable silence by the Great Lake but a thought just wouldn’t leave Emma’s head. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Hmm?”

“I was just wondering but… I don’t want it to come out wrong but since when do you like me? I mean, you’ve never shown any signs that, you know, you might be interested in me,” they both stopped and turned to each other. Emma could feel her heart beating like crazy. 

“Honestly? I think I always did. I know that doesn’t make much sense but it’s true. You know that feeling when you see someone incredibly beautiful and you just can’t get them out of your head? I felt that was about you, I don’t even remember since when. And then third year happened and this aesthetic attraction turned into something deeper. Seeing that I was thirteen, these feelings were still shallow but they were definitely there. Then we didn’t talk again so I went back to admiring you from afar.”

A thousand thoughts were running over Emma’s head but before she could even fully comprehend what Lily was saying, she continued. 

“And to say that I haven’t shown any signs… You didn’t really make my job easy with that. Do you know how many times I tried to get closer to you!? But every time I approached you, you bloody ran away, especially this year! I bet you thought I didn’t but I did notice you staring at me during that quidditch game. After that, I thought I might have a chance to win you over but you ruined every single plan of mine! I told Marls to invite you to that party, hoping that we could get closer but not even an hour later you left.

“From there on I tried to go over to you when I saw you alone somewhere but it’s as if you could sense my presence, you disappeared before I could reach you. I was just about to give up when Mary and Dorcas found me,” Lily finished and rolled her eyes. She held both of Emma’s hands at that point, they were standing in the sunset like that, facing each other. 

It was supposed to be a romantic moment but something caught Emma’s attention. 

“Macdonald and Dorcas found you,” Emma echoed and looked at Lily with a questioning look. 

“Yeah, didn’t Dorcas tell you? Mary figured out that I like you and then somehow Dorcas figured it out, too, and also that Mary knows and they made it their life mission to make us get together. They only let me into this secret alliance they had when their plan at the party failed. After I learned that you like me, too, I wanted to make my move but, like I said, you were impossible to talk with and that’s why we came up with the library idea.”

“She failed to mention all this,” Emma sighed and decided to deal with her later. Now she was with Lily, who just confessed to her for the second time in ten minutes and she didn’t want to waste this time. 

“Well, now you know,” Lily smiled and let one of Emma’s hands go so that they could continue their walk. 

They talked about anything and everything while the sun descended lower on the horizon. Emma told Lily all about how she kept her distance because she didn’t want to ruin her relationship with James. Lily laughed at that and briefly put her head on Emma’s shoulder. This motion was so tender, it made Emma’s heart melt. 

It was almost fully dark when they reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Emma glanced at Lily, surprised, when she showed no intention of stopping. 

“Do you want to go in there?” Emma asked, not daring to pass the line of the trees. Since she stopped, Lily had to, too. 

“Of course, it’s the prettiest when it’s dark,” Lily pointed at the moon and the stars hanging in the sky above them. Emma didn’t doubt that for a second but she was also sure that the forest was the most dangerous after the sunset, too. 

“Wait, how do you know that? You’ve been in the forest before?” Before Lily could say anything, Emma answered her own question. “Of course, you were! What else did I expect from someone who’s friends with Potter and Black.”

A giggle broke out of Lily upon seeing Emma shaking her head and she stepped closer to her. 

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. We can just stay here,” Lily said quietly, the laugh disappearing from her voice. The mood changed abruptly, with them standing so close together. 

Emma took in every little detail of Lily’s face, her freckles, the little scar over her right eyebrow, the shape of her lips, and the moon reflecting in her green eyes. She looked like she just stepped out of the most beautiful painting in existence. Emma wanted to be selfish and hide Lily so that only she could look at her. She had seen beauty before but never something quite like Lily. 

“You’re beautiful,” Emma voiced her thoughts and took a sharp breath when Lily pulled her in by the belt loops on her jeans. 

“So are you Emma Vanity, so are you,” Lily whispered onto Emma’s lips and a few seconds later she leaned in and closed the distance between them. 

When their lips touched the world stopped for Emma. Their kiss was soft and slow. Emma pulled Lily closer by her waist and Lily's hands travelled up on Emma’s back, one of them cupping the back of her neck. They touched each other gently as if the other was made of glass. 

Emma’s heart was beating like crazy, she was afraid it might explode. Her head was cloudy, all she could focus on was Lily’s lips on hers. 

Their kiss lasted for a while and when they finally separated Emma’s eyes were instantly searching for Lily’s. They were still lost in the moment, neither of them saying anything. Emma reached up to put a stray piece of hair behind Lily’s ear and while doing so, Lily was the first to say something. 

“We’ve wasted so much time,” she murmured and loosely wrapped her arms around Emma.

“We did, but we have a whole life ahead of us to make up for that.”