Chapter Text
Inhale.
Exhale.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Oxygen is needed by us human beings to survive, but for me, every time I breathe, it hurts. It feels like a thousand needles puncturing my own set of lungs as I breathe in. It all started when something was removed from my nose... I don't know. It's probably that thing that kept me full of oxygen.
The thing that made me alive up until now.
Honestly, being alive confused me more than ever. What's the purpose of living, anyway? Yes, I am breathing, my heart still pumps blood, my skin can still feel that it's cold in here; but, at the same time, my head is throbbing from a foreign pain I didn't know I was feeling, so painful I couldn't even feel the strength to move my arms and legs.
I am existing, not living. My body feels alive, but my soul feels dead.
My heart, yes it pumps blood, but for what? My brain can still process information, can still store memories, but for who?
I'm still closing my eyes; even though I can open my eyelids at my own will. Why? I don't know myself; honestly, I'm afraid of waking up more than dying at this moment. It felt like a hundred years have passed from my deep slumber, and I'm not sure if the people who actually cared for me are still there, waiting for me to wake up... I don't even know if they're still alive.
My body felt... different too. It's as if I've aged significantly from the moment I went through this sleep up to the moment my body began to be aware that yes, this body is still alive.
Another reason I kept my eyes closed?
I'm trying to remember a dream I recently had, the same dream that woke me up to consciousness.
Everything was cold, so cold I had to find any source of heat, be it from a bonfire or from someone with body heat, at least. It's nighttime, so I had limited vision, making it harder for me to ask for help. I opened my mouth and shouted, only to be shocked at how deep my voice was. I tried to stand up, but every attempt only led my legs to being jelly, making me fall butt-first against the cemented ground.
How did I end here, anyway?
I tried standing up one more time, but then I heard footsteps. It grew louder and eerily faster as it approached my direction. There was a silhouette of what looks like another man, sharing the almost the same height as me, but I couldn't make out his eyes, nose, ears, and lips. It was so dark, and the "man" sat down before me.
"W-Who are you?" I started to ask with a nervous tone, but the silhouette didn't answer back. Instead, he reached out for my hand, as if helping me to stand up with my weak two feet.
I held on to his hand - it was unusually warm and soft against the cold - but as soon as I stand up, there was a flash of white light approaching us. "L-Look out!" I was too late, the friendly warmth from the silhouette faded away as soon as the light seemed to consumed the dark-colored figure.
The light was so vast, so bright, that I found myself running helplessly from it. That light is bad, I thought to myself, and I kept on running when I found out that everything around me - except my spot - weren't black and cold anymore. The light then engulfed me, and as I planned to use up the remainder of my voice, I fell silent instead.
The light removed the cold climate that made my body shiver for a while now, yet it's not hot nor cold. It made me feel neither safe nor in danger.
I felt neither dead nor alive at the same time.
The dream ended, and I felt all the pain rushing from every nerve in my body. I cried, but no tears came out from my eyes. I tried to swallow, only to realize my tongue and lips were looking for moisture desperately. I moved, but with every centimeter my limbs shifted, my nerves started to tingle up and I'd only scream in pain.
Help me. I want to scream, but I cannot even feel my throat vibrating.
What did the white light mean?
What is that silhouette? Who is that silhouette?
How cold is it outside? From what I can feel on my back, there's no way I am lying in a cold road right now--
Wait a minute. WHERE AM I?