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Leonard “Bones” McCoy is an old grumpy son of a bitch. Quite literally. It’s been the stone in Dean’s proverbial shoe since he moved to the neighborhood almost 3 years ago. The only reason he hasn’t killed the little bastard, it’s because it would break the heart of his best friend Charlie.
He goes and pees on his roses, and loves to kill little birds that go to eat in Dean’s bird feeder. And he has the audacity of digging holes on his backyard to bury said birds. The poodle looks all fluffy and adorable, but Dean knows better; he is a real nightmare.
But Charlie loves the dog like its own baby, and they have been together for more than all of Dean’s past relationships put together. So, yeah, no killing.
And that’s why, when he sees someone hooking a leash on Leonard and taking him outside, the first thing that comes to his just freshly woken up mind, it’s that this person is trying to kidnap (dognap?) him, and it’s his duty as Charlie’s best friend and neighbor, to do something heroic about it.
On his way out, he grabs his old baseball bat and doesn’t bother putting on shoes…or pants, for that matter.
“HEY! HEY YOU!” he yells as he crosses his front door, almost tripping on the stairs that lead to the entry way. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? LEAVE LEONARD MCCOY IN PEACE, OR I’LL FUCK YOU UP” He brandishes the bat for emphasis.
The kidnapper (dognapper?) almost jumps out of his skin in surprise. Once he sees him and realizes the situation, instead of looking afraid and start begging for Dean’s forgiveness, he just smirks, bringing his hands up in mocking surrender without losing the grip on the leash, his eyes fixed on him, sparkling with humor.
And wow, they are blue, very nice, big, baby blue eyes…
But…ermm, back on track.
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” the guy says.
Dean just thinks that it should be illegal to have such a deep voice.
“My name is Castiel, and Charlie hired me to take care of Leonard McCoy while she’s on vacation.”
Oh fuck…Oh fuck, fuckity fuck. He completely forgot about that. He has some vague memory of Charlie telling him that she and Gilda will be gone for the next two weeks, and can Dean please water their plants?
He’s such an idiot. This is why Charlie couldn’t trust Dean to take proper care of Bones. Between being a workaholic and a human disaster, Dean’s not capable of even taking care of himself. He wouldn’t be surprise if this Castiel guy is also in charge of Charlie’s garden.
Speaking of Cas…
He knows he must look ridiculous, all his face feels like it’s burning up. He just went and made a fool out of himself in front of this really hot dude (dogsitter?).
Four for you Dean, you go Dean!
“Riiight, I totally knew that.” He grabs the back of his neck and finds looking at his bare feet so very interesting; “So, is there some way for you to forget that these last 5 minutes ever happened?”
“Well, I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to forget you telling me you’ll fuck me up.” He smirks, and passes his free hand through his dark hair, messing it up even more.
Did this guy just flirted with him? Also, is this real life?
Faking a cough, he pushes his hand forward.
“Hi, I’m Dean Winchester, mechanical engineer, and Charlie’s neighbor and best friend.” Seeing Castiel’s skeptical raised eyebrow, he adds a rushed “Yeah, yeah, I know.”
Castiel shakes his hand firmly. It’s warm and dry.
“Hello Dean, nice to meet you. I’m Castiel Novak, professional dogsitter.”
“Wow, really?”
“No, but that would be sweet though. I’m just a poor college student who loves animals and making some extra money.”
Before Dean can make some witty and awesome reply, Bones starts barking and pulling on the leash. Dean wants to strangle him.
“Well, looks like this grumpy old man wants his walkies, so better not make him wait.” He looks a little bit disappointed, but that could be Dean’s decaf brain. “See you around Dean.”
“Yeah, of course” He waves his hand awkwardly at their direction, and mentally slaps himself.
“Hey, Cas! Wait!”
Cas turns around and his eyes look so very blue. Dean is so fucked.
“Oh, I-I just thought that I was really rude to you and as an apology, you should totally come to my house to get some lemonade and snacks after your walk. I, ah, also got some leftovers for Bones.” Lies, filthy lies. “If you want, obviously.”
Cas is smiling really sweet at him, and his eyes seem to sparkle with some mirth.
“That would be lovely Dean, see you later.”
They start walking down the street, and Dean can’t take his eyes from his retreating back (yeah, ok, he’s looking at his ass, so what, it’s really nice, ok?).
Realizing he’s staring at the distance in just his underwear in plain daylight on the sidewalk, he runs to his house with as much dignity as possible. None.
Hours later, with Cas sitting in front of him, eating breakfast with him and laughing at his stupid jokes, Dean doesn’t want to let him go.
Bones is happily eating some chicken leftover from Dean’s dinner last night. Dean is sure that later on, he’s going to find a smelly present for him in some corner of his house. Little bastard.
“Well Dean, thank you for breakfast. It was delicious, but I better be going, I have some other dogs to take care of.”
Cas starts to clear his plate to take it to the sink, but Dean beats him to it.
“Hey, it was nothing. I…I really enjoyed your company, man.” He doesn’t look up to see Cas’ expression, too afraid of what he could see.
“Me too, Dean,” comes the gentle reply, and Dean finds himself a little lost in Castiel’s eyes.
Before turning things awkward, he averts his gaze to the plates on his hands, and coughs a little.
“So Cas, I was thinking that, if you want, of course, you can come and have breakfast with me for the rest of the week?”
“Is this because you still feel guilty about scaring the shit out of me this morning?”
That gets a nervous laugh out of Dean.
“Yeah, maybe a little bit. But, you know, I also think you’re a pretty cool guy and want to hang out with you.”
“Mhmm…and this has nothing to do with you thinking I have an amazing butt?”
“How did you…? What!?”
Oh god, please let him die. Right now.
“Please Dean, I could feel you drilling holes on my ass as I was walking away”
So much for being smooth.
“Yeah ok, that too.” He’s too embarrassed to look at Castiel now, so he turns to the sink to put away the dishes.
Dean makes a very manly noise when he feels a hand on one on his shoulders to turn him around. Castiel’ face is really close, their noses almost touching.
“Hey, it’s fine,” Castiel has an almost shy smile on his face. “I also think that you are pretty cute”
“I’m not cut-“ Castiel shuts him up kissing him gently. One of his hands is caressing his cheek, and the other one his shoulder. His lips are a little dry, but it’s a very nice (if short) kiss.
10/10 would kiss again.
“See you tomorrow Dean.”
Dean can only watch helpless, and pretty dazzled, how Cas takes Leonard with him and exits his house.
When Charlie and Gilda return two weeks later, they crash with Dean after he gets back from work, to tell him all about their vacation, and to show him their gross sappy embarrassing pictures.
Dean accepts this torture just because they arrived with pizza and beer (and ok, he missed them). After Gilda exhausts herself talking about how beautiful the beach was and how hot Charlie looked on a bikini, Charlie shots Dean a dirty smirk.
“Oh Dean, I don’t know if you noticed, but we hired this really handsome guy to be our dogsitter for Bones (also our garden, because I know the piece of shit you are), and I was thinking that I should properly introduce you, because I’m sure he’s your type.”
Dean can feel his face getting red. Damn.
“Yeah, about that… I met him…and” nervous laugh, “Actually, he’s my boyfriend now.”
“WHAT!” shouts Gilda scandalized.
“You slut!” says Charlie laughing and throwing a cushion at his face. “Don’t be a dick and break his heart, he’s a really sweet guy and I would hate to have to kick your sorry ass”
“Don’t worry, Cas is…he’s something else.”
He receives another cushion on the face.
“Fuck you, Charlie!”
“Ugh, change that sappy disgusting face, or I’ll bring Bones to pee on your bushes”
“He does that anyway!”
They start bickering about it, but Dean can’t wipe his stupid smile thinking that he and Cas have a date tomorrow.
Maybe old Bones is not so bad…for a hell’s spawn.