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The alarm reads 11PM o' clock.
Sweaty covers, unbearably hot air yet skin aching with cold.
The windows are open, but only because Reigen desperately needs some kind of reminder that he's still living in the real world, even if it's just the faint chatter of people outside.
He wishes he was brave enough to ask for help.
His phone is right there, on the nightstand, fully charged and urging him to call someone. Anyone.
He's just tired of going through fevers alone, it's exhausting, having to drag himself out of bed even if his limbs tremble from cold and sheer hunger, because he lost his appetite days ago and can't bring himself to try food anymore.
He's tired.
He closes his eyes.
It's okay, it's night, it's dark. Nobody can see. He can cry.
So he weeps, aching for the ghost of a touch he'll never have, settling for hoping to get well soon instead of the unachievable dream of having someone to care for him when he needs.
-
It's 2AM. Reigen gave up on breathing properly.
Between his weeping turning into full on sobbing and his nose clogging so much he loses any hope to ever breathe through his nostrils again, he pants pathetically into his pillow.
It's the longest night he's had in a while, his eyes keep open even though he feels so exhausted he's sure he'll pass out anytime soon.
Perhaps he could use some water.
Balancing himself on shaky arms, he tells himself he just needs to make it to the kitchen.
-
The phone rings.
Reigen yelps while holding a glass cup, which fortunately has been emptied and is now just glass shards on the floor.
He's torn between using what remains of his voice to grumble about the insane mind who decided to call his number at 2AM and saving it for exchanging insults with whoever contacted him on a phone call.
He flips the phone open, tries to be forceful but ends up with a horrible pain on his wrist because he forgot fevers turn his body into the most fragile porcelain out there.
He gives up on the phone and settles down on the bed.
Whoever was it, it was most likely a butt dial.
He closes his eyes.
-
Weird noises wake him up.
It's like an insistent fumbling on some kind of metal, followed by hinges whining softly.
And then, steps.
He's thoroughly convinced he's dreaming it all.
So naturally, he only opens his eyes when he hears a 12th step, right beside him. His mind is exhausted, possibly playing tricks on him for the hell of it, and so he leaves it be. If his brain wants to torture him with weird sleep paralysis then be it. He just needs the rest.
"...Reigen?"
He squeezes his eyes tighter. Right. So funny that his mind decided to troll him by producing Serizawa's voice. On that gentle and soothing quality too. So hilarious.
"Reigen?"
His lip trembles a bit. But he's determined to win over his dumbass brain.
"S-shut up."
He hears a small intake of breath. Then the approaching warmth of a hand, reaching to touch his forehead, brushing his bangs away so, so gently.
It's really hard to keep himself from crying.
So he doesn't.
And then a gasp.
"R-Reigen?! Hey, Reigen, I'm here alright? It's okay…"
Reigen cries harder. He needs to sob out every emotion stuck in his throat as soon as possible. Betrayal, from his own mind. Sadness, from his own loneliness. Longing, for the man he wants so bad he'd managed to hallucinate him apparently.
Weird thing is, he feels arms cradling him. And they feel real, a real embrace, coming from a real person.
He cries harder.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm here."
A hand rubs his back.
In an impossibly small, shaky voice, he whispers.
"You're not…"
"Huh?" Serizawa apparently says. "What do you mean I'm not?!"
Between sniffles he murmurs, "you're… just an illusion. Because I can't sleep. Brain's… actin' up…"
The embrace tightens.
"Oh… Oh, Arataka…"
-
He falls asleep after a while.
There's only so much crying a man can handle before succumbing to sleep.
Serizawa watches him, his parted lips letting out and sucking in inaudible breaths, his face finally relaxed for once, even with the dark circles under his eyes. His eyebrows in place, when he brushes his bangs away.
If Serizawa were to answer why he's even there at all, he'd speak in circles for hours and not reach a logical conclusion at all.
Because to be very honest, he's there because he felt he had to be.
At some point, he woke up feeling wrong, as if he wasn't where he needed to be. He's tried calling Reigen, but it only served to further the suspicion that he needed to check up on Reigen. For whatever reason.
Call it gut feeling, intuition or even some kind of thelepatical esper superpower.
He just feels right kneeling next to Reigen.
Checking if he's okay, caring for him like this.
So he abandons his spot besides Reigen's bed and goes to get him some water and maybe get a soup ready.
-
The alarm reads 4AM o' clock.
Reigen's nostrils are still severely clogged. His mind is fuzzy but at least he feels like he got some rest.
Even if he's still doubting that the Serizawa standing on his door frame with a bowl on both hands is nothing but a hallucination.
"Hello," Serizawa says. And Reigen wonders how far the human mind can go on a trolling.
"I made soup. I thought you'd like it, since you're kinda sick…"
Reigen stares him down.
"What's my birthday?"
Serizawa struggles with keeping up,"C-come again?"
"My birthday, Serizawa," He says, attempting to be aggressive in his tone.
"October the tenth…? Why are you-"
"Alright then, what time is it."
"...4:23AM…"
"And now?"
Serizawa makes a confused grimace. "Still 4:23…?'
Reigen deflates, wondering what he should make of this information.
He decides it's okay if he gives in to the fantasy that Serizawa is actually here. At least it seems to get his mind out of its misery.
"Alright then. Come cuddle me."
"Oh," Serizawa hesitates, but then takes the bowl and moves it to the top of the nightstand. "Sure."
He scoots closer, until he's seated on the bed with Reigen, and just now Reigen can see his casual clothing at its finest, an oversized black sweater with slightly bigger pink sweat pants.
He looks so cute.
"Arataka," He says, gently. His hand reaches out to touch Reigen's face, landing on his chin. "You have to eat first, okay?"
Reigen grumbles, and despite himself, scoots even closer to Serizawa and buries himself in his arms. He's still convinced it's a dream, because the probability of Serizawa showing up in his apartment in the middle of the night is so slim he's afraid he's going to suffer from more vivid hallucinations later on.
But for now he can at least enjoy the achingly real feeling of Serizawa's arms wrapping around him.
"I know you don't want to," he whispers. "But you have to," Serizawa then lets go for a moment, and Reigen panics for a second that if he lets go he'll go away and disappear. It doesn't happen. Serizawa just touches his forehead to Reigen's and does his best to look directly into Reigen's eyes, even if they're glossy and tired and got bags under them. Serizawa looks at him as if he's nothing short of beautiful.
And Reigen can't help but let a tear out, which is promptly wiped by Serizawa's thumb.
"Can you eat it, please? For me?"
Reigen has to look down so he can start crying.
What he knows is that there's no way Serizawa can deduce what's wrong with him, because Reigen would rather have his soul eaten than to confess to him he has dreams and craves his most basic form of affectionate touch even if just for a second. It's overwhelming, because he's finally getting it, because it feels amazing, because Serizawa is so gentle and caring, because he doesn't believe any of this is real.
Yet Serizawa wraps him up in his arms anyway and suddenly he's not cold anymore.
He presses a kiss to Reigen's head, "Alright then, you can eat it later. Maybe just rest more for now."
-
After going through one of the longest nights Reigen has ever faced, he can only feel relief when he opens his eyes and there's sun.
He's still absolutely fucked up, his nose still has a nostril clogged up and his head is swimming with the constant waking up and passing out from the previous night. There's also the fact his eyes are struggling to not only keep open with the onslaught of sunlight, but also with not being the down turned way they get when Reigen lets himself be sad and pathetic.
His bed is warm, thank god. His body isn't unbearably cold anymore.
In the depths of his heart, he wishes he could hallucinate Serizawa again. Just for the sake of his selfish fantasy to have him cradle close in the first minutes of their consciousness in the mornings. Reigen tries not to imagine what it would be like to wake up to Serizawa every morning.
He closes his eyes again, and notices he's emptied himself of tears.
But then a hand lands on his forehead and he gasp so sharply he starts coughing.
"Sorry! I'm sorry!" A voice whispers frantically. Serizawa's voice . "I didn't mean to startle you!"
Reigen keeps coughing, and between wheezes he manages to turn his position on the bed and attempt to say something, "Why… are…" More coughs. "You here..? How..?"
Serizawa takes a moment to position Reigen's body so he's lying on his back while his face remains watching him. Then he starts massaging Reigen's chest with what probably is Vick gel and his coughing slowly subsides.
"Sorry. I… don't know what brought me here exactly. But when I arrived you were so sick and weak that I kinda just understood why." After Reigen finally stops coughing, Serizawa's hand settles on his cheek. Reigen doesn't mind it's dirty with Vick, he just takes Serizawa's easy affection and does his best to remember what the sensation feels like. "I… Please call me when you feel this bad, okay? You know I'd drop anything to take care of you."
No, Reigen doesn't know that.
But everything in Serizawa screams genuine honesty, his subtle frown, his eyes staring into Reigen's, his gentle touch.
He cares for Reigen.
Reigen's hand lands on top of Serizawa's hand cradling his cheek.
"But… it's fine… I can manage… Alone…" he tries to say, but his voice is cracking so bad he has to take a moment just to breathe after talking.
Then Serizawa is carding his fingers through his hair and smiling softly.
"I know it was a long night, for both of us. But all I want is to help you. That's all. Just let me take care of you, please?"
The alarm reads 11AM o' clock.
The covers are disgusting. Extremely sweaty and annoyingly warm. The air is crispy and cold, though, so Reigen keeps them on.
The windows are closed. Reigen doesn't need them open anymore.
His chest is warm. His skin is too.
Because he's cared for.
And for once, Reigen doesn't tell Serizawa no.