Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Solver Wolf is playing LEAGUE OF LEGENDS 🤪 on her expensive $1010020274 PC!!!! shes a smurf 😈 so shes like level 31 idfk playing solo queue ranked!!! (probably in iron 3 or smth 💀) Silver Wolf is big gamer she plays 40 hrs a day and is a Lux one trick 💀💀💀 (jk) So anyway she finds a match 😱😱 and they immediately lock on their champs because 💀 and Silver Eolf is playing SUPPORT LOL 💀💀 so she plays supp lux for some reason (obvs bc shes a lux onetrick)

After 10 minutes of loading 💀 they get in the game. Silver Wolf vuys her items and heads bot but then the mf adc bot Miss Fortune (mf) goes like fucking mid and now shes a Lux in the bot lane bitchless flying solo!! Then she checks her teams inventory and no one bought anything because theyre stupid and frugal 🤡. MINIONS WILL SPAWN IN 30 SECONDS nvm they already spawned. so Silver Wolf farms and stuff and then the Master Yi goes like “mf go bot” but Miss Fortune doesnt fucking go bot so theres like an Annie and Mf in mid lane but somehow theyre losing against this loser ahri with 11 cs with 5 mins…

Theres this rando in bot lane (Yuumi) flying around on her book 🤓 and an Ashe and theyre ok but like Yuumi is stealing all of Ashes minions so Silver Wolf just taunts and laughs in their face both irl and in game 💀💀

“Lmfao losers imsgine not being able to farm 💀💀💀💀” she says. Then she types itout in all chat and the Yuumi replies, “bro ur adcless imagine having a trash team” and the Ashe tells the cat to stfu and SW kills the Yuumi 💀💀💀💀💀💀
meanwhile top is getting destroyed and the opposite team just got the first turret knocked down by a Riven 💀 Theres a Teemo afk in base 😡😡 so Master Yi types in chat: “MF GO TOP” but ofc Mf doesnt go top so the Annie does, but then Mf follows them 💀💀💀

“DUDE DONT FOLLOW” Master Yi says and thrn he has a seizure in jungle and has to recall 😃
Silver Wolf gets Ashe and Yuumi to half health and somehow the Yuumi ran out of mana LMFAO FUCKING LOSER so SW actually does the combo right and gets a double kill 💀💀💀 the ashe gets mad and spams in chat “hacker” lmao and SW replies “stop being a sore loser u just suck” (except SW is a smurf so that was invalid 💀💀)

Madter Yi and SW go to get Baron but then theres a loud barrage of KNOCK KNOCK. KNCKNC OKNCO KNCOK LNCOK KNCOK 🚪🚪🚪🚪🤛🤛🤛🤛 on SW’s door.

“GO TO SLEEP OR ILL TEST OUT MY BULLETS WITH YOUR DOOR” a muted voice shouts from the other side.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP KAFKA IM CARRYING LEAVE ME ALONE” Silver Wolf shouts back.

Anyway SW and master yi get baron and then SW gets bot turrets ez

It’s 20 minutes into yhe game when SW hears another cursed rhythm game beat of KNAOCK KNOSCK KNOACK KNOCK KNCOK KNCOK KNCOK KNOCK 🤛🤛🚪🚪🤛🤛🚪🚪😡😡😡😡😡😡

“SW GET OFF AND GO TO SLEEP OR ILL SHUT OFF THE WIFI”

“SHUT THE FUCK OFF IM PLAYING LEAGUE OLD HAG”

“lmao ‘shut the fuck off’ 💀💀”

“I MEANT SHUT THE FUCK UP WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE GO MONITOR YOUR DAUGHTER SHES DIGGING IN THE TRASH CANS AGAIN”

“oh fuck again?? alr I’ll be back later bye”

“holy shit finally”

Silver Wolf sighs and returns to her game with a 7/0/2 literal slay

ok im not patient enough to finish the rest of the game but basically they win and SW plays another game with trashyeammates and when she begins her third game Kafka comes BANGBSNG ANG BANGBANGBANG on her door once more.

“SW ARE YOU DONE??”

Silver Wolf ignores her. L

“SW ARE YOU THERE??? WAKE UPPPPP” Kafka calls.

“THE FUCK YOU WANT IM PLAYING LEAGUE” Silver Wolf angrily spams her abilities and somehow hits all of them.

“YOU WANNA PLAY MARIO KART??”

“I SAID IM PLAYING LEAGUE”

“SO?”

Silver Wolf groaned. “LET ME FINISH MY GAME”

“Fine 🙄” and then Kafka left. After finishing her game, Silver Wolf starts a TFT game 💀💀

She ends up in 1st and is about to win when suddenly, the power goes out and her blue-light radiating eye-killing screen that was thr only source of light in her room turns pitch-dark.

“What the hell did that woman do?!?!?! 😡” Silver Wolf says. She storms out of her room and searches around the house until she finds Kafka playing with the Wifi box!!

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT???? I WAS ABOUT TO WIN MY GAME!!”

Kafka turns around and rolls her eyes. “You played for 7 hours straight.”

“You’re not my mom 🙄”

“actually i am”

“what?”

“what?”

“anyway im leaving and i wont be coming back” Silver Wolf says. She glares at Kafka with her most angy face 😡

“we both know you’re just going to stay at a gaming cafe and play more 💀🤓😒”

Silver Wolf huffs annoyedly 😡😤😤🤬“YEAH, AND?”

“wtv go live your best truth I guess” Kafka waves her hand dismissively and Silver Wolf goes to rage on League of Legends again 🤪

She beats everyone in League and never touches grass again and becomes the next faker 💀

Chapter Text

so SW is out in a gaming cafe continuing her League of Legends game streak!! she found a league buddy to smurf iron- i mean climb ranks from iron with 🤡. (ITS HOOK) (ok i swear i wont make her swear and have weed like with my snapdragon fic) they play ranked hehe 😄🤪 btw Hook is gold 2 bc she gives gold vibes idk 💀💀 Shes a TEEMO MAIN!!!!!!!!! no way i cant believe it!.!.!!.

anyway its 3 AM and Hook sneaked out to the gaming cafe to play 😈 shes a big pro but doesnt know builds 😢 its ok she blends in better w iron that way (idk how shes gold dont ask im just pulling bs out of my seele lover brain)

SW is Lux OMG THEY LOADED IN!!! and they actually go to their assigned roles this time i mean most ppl do in ranked if they have a brain lmao 💀💀 SW takes mid and Hook takes top 💅💅 material gurlll girlbossinggg!! someones playing QUINN OMG NO WAY (not me) honestly slay quinn jungle 💀💀💀 anyway theres a random Xayah and Rakan duo hilarious guys thats me and ur mom

Hook asks in chat, “xayah do u know rakan” bc no one plays them ever acutally idk lmfao I THINK THEY DO; IGNORE THAT

“yea im playing w my mom” the rakan replies

“NO WAYYYYYDHGWUHGD” Hook screams (irl) (eating her mic 🍽️🍽️🎤🎤). she puts in chat, “your mom plays league?”

and the rakan says, “yea”

“damn my daddy only plays candy crush

i meant dang”
💀💀💀💀💀 sorry

“can someone leash” the Quinn says

the rakan says no

and xayah asks, “whats leashing???” 💀💀💀😱😱😃😃🤣🤣😂😂😂 but Hook says “the fuck is a leash” (HOOK SWEARING!!! CANCELLED!! CITIZENSHIP REVOKED 😱😱😱 sorry again)

“Leashing is me when you become my sussy imposter” SW says

“😨” -trendy facebook mom

“ohhh”

“so????” -Quinn

no kne comes and Quinn fucking dies getting blue buff 💀💀💀

“what a loser get better” HOOK TRASH TALKING TEAMMATES UNREAL!!!!!

“thats rude” Xayah says 😡😡😡

“sorry 😢”

Anyway opponent team is all trash except for the the ZOE JUNGLE WTF 😨😱😱 her kda is 6/3/2 wow impressive 💀💀 and the seraphine keeps getting smurfed to death (0/11/7) OKAY I'M ON A COMPUTER NOW I SWEAR IT'LL BE EASIER TO READ I SWEAR
Suddenly, the enemy Zoe puts a STRANGE 😱😱😱😱 request in chat!!!

She says, "come 2 mid everyone"

Xayah asks why❓❓❓❓

"dance off"

"most friendly iron ranked game" -SW

"frfr JUST COME TO MID"

LUX and TEEMO and Xayah and Rakan all go to mid together (except for the Quinn who's too busy farming for some reason) to find a Zoe and Annie 😱😱😱

"bro where are the others" Rakan says.

"IN YOUR MOM" -Silver Wolf

"VENTING"

"what?"

"demacia"

"anyway," Zoe says, "COME TO MID OR SCARED???" (I'm looking at someone specific here who spams "vc or ___" on Discord)

"YOU'RE SCARED" the enemy Draven says <--- 😠😠😒😒😡😡😡💢💢💢

"fucking draven mains"

Hook tells Zoe that "fuck is a bad word" but Zoe tells her to "stfu" 😂😂😂😂😃 and Hook, out of spite, spams her shrooms everywhere.

"ok yk what they're not coming just start" Annie says and does her dance 😱😱💃💃🩰

Everyone follows suit except for Hook lmao

"how do I dance" 😢

"idk just press all ur emote buttons" Zoe says.

"what are they"

"idk like ctrl+1/2/3/4/5"

Hook goes through like all of them, making Teemo looking like a 🏋️♂️⛹️♂️🤾♂️🚴♂️🤸♂️🏃♂️🚶♂️🏌️♂️🙋♂️💁♂️🙆♂️🙅♂️ going through reverse osmosis having a seizure 😨 WTF 😭😭😭

Silver Wolf almost dies from second-hand embarrassment so she tells Hook to "just type /dance"

Hook does and then enemy Zoe laughs 💀💀💀💀

"teemo annie has better moves than you wtffffff"

"coming from the person who looks like what came out if sun baby had puked out a rainbow" -HOOK!?!?!?! (UNREAL) (CLICKBAIT) (GONE WRONG)

"WTF???"

SW: "L + Bozo + Ratio + Fatherless" 🤪🤪🤪

"WTF?!?!?" and Zoe kills someone random (Rakan) with her combo 💀💀💀💀 but then all the shrooms explode on her and she fucking dies 💀💀💀💀💀💀 and Annie gets illuminated by Lux and banished 💀💀💀💀 Silver spams Lux laugh LMAOOOOO
Then enemy team surrenders and SW and Hook get a YIPPEE!!! sorry idk what to write atp OMG PROMOTION TO IRON 1!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly I forgot what rank in iron they were but wtv 🤡🤡

Then the room goes BOOMBOOM BANGBANGBANGBANG EXPLOSION!!! 💥💥🚪🚪🚪

"Is Hook here???"

Hook 😲😲😮😮🙀🙀 "waahhhhhh I've been discovered!!!!!!!"

"Hook 😱 What are you doing here at 3 IN THE MORNING?!?!?"

"I wanted to play League with Silver Wolf 😢"

"Silver Wolf?"

..DUN DUN DUN!!!!!

up next is Fersman playing pjsk or league 🤪 /hj

Chapter Text

SILVER WOLF IS PLAYING OSU! AT 3 AM!!! ⚖ fuck wrong emoji i meant 😱😱😱😱😱 wait how do you indent give me a second

nevermind I don't think you guys read indents sorry uh

SILVER WOLF IS STILL PLAYING OSU! AT 3 AM!!! UH OH!!! 😱😱😱💀💀💀💀💀 SHE'S PLAYING GALAXY COLLAPSE ON MANIA (who the fuck plays osu mania (i did))!!!! WITH 100% ACCURACY!!! 🎯🎯🎯💯💯💯⭐⭐ then she gets a call from kafka

Silver Wolf slams her keyboard. 😡😡😡 "WHAT DO YOU WANT KAFKA?? 😡😡😡" she yells. "YOU RUINED MY FC, BITCH."

"Silver Wolf, I don't even know what you're talking about," Kafka—very calmly—says. "You need to log off; the electricity bill isn't free."

"You sound like every father in the universe who has a refrigerator. Also, WE'RE STELLARON HUNTERS. WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE ELECTRICITY BILL OF ALL THINGS?? 😡😡😡😡"

"CAN'T A GIRL WORRY ABOUT HER ELECTRICITY BILL?"

"FUCK OFF, YOU RUINED MY FC." Silver Wolf ends the call.

She sighs to herself and restarts the beatmap. Surprisingly, she still hasn't gotten carpal tunnel yet after spamming dfjkdfjkdfjkdfjkjkjfjfdkfdkfdfjkdfjkdfjkdfjkdfkdfdkjdjfkdfkddfk the entire day. (If you use asdf or wasd, you're not a real person.) Or spamming zxzzzzzzzzzzzxzzzzzxzxzzzzzzzxzxzxzxzzzz for 6 hours straight. (Single-tapping is the reason I will die before 30.) Again, she's about to achieve a full combo with 💯% accuracy. There's only 1 minute left (why the fuck is the map so long), and she absolutely, definitely, positively CANNOT lose her combo.

Silver Wolf is acutely aware that she only has 10 seconds left on the beatmap. She just has to focus—

RING!—

Silver Wolf slams her keyboard so hard the keys fly off 💀💀.

"KAKFA, STOP CALLING ME. I'M TRYING TO FC A BEATMAP. 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡"

A long silence stretches between them.

Silver Wolf impatiently taps her foot.

"Uh, Silver Wolf, I don't even know what you're talking about," Kafka says. "I just thought you should know that—"

Doesn't sound like anything important. "CALL ME AGAIN AFTER I FINISH." She hangs up.

RING!— RING!— 📞📞📞📞📱📱📱

"WHAT?"

"Can't you at least let me finish what I was saying?"

Silver Wolf scoffs. "OKAY, WHAT?" And it'd better be serious enough to ruin her GALAXY 🌌 COLLAPSE 💥 FC!!! 🙄🙄🙄

"Well, Elio's going to reboot the router soon... 'cause the Wi-Fi's being slow or something. Thought you might want to know."

"The fuck does he need to do that for? It's not like he writes his script on Canva Docs or anything." And since when does their Wi-Fi get "slow"?

"How am I supposed to know? Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. Good luck with your... 'FC'."

Kafka ends the call.

Silver Wolf groans and returns to her screen. A few of the keys are missing from her keyboard now, but the ones she needs for the game have tenaciously remained. She'll deal with it later. Hopefully, Elio doesn't reboot the router (for whatever fucking reason ever) before she completes the map. Third time's the charm. Surely. She just wants to get on the leaderboard.

RING!— RING!— 📞📞📞📞🔔🔔😱😱☎☎☎📱📱📱

"FUCKING HELL, KAFKA???"

"By the way, you wanna play Mario Kart with me after you're done?"

"FUCKING. NO."