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“Well every time I’m on a sinking boat, the first thing I do is drop the deadweight.”
“How many sinking boats have you been on? Tell me about each one.”
~~~~~~
Lupe's interest is genuine. In the few weeks they've been on the team together, she has come to appreciate Jess's story telling skills. Although, at times she's skeptical of the details. Or the entire premise. She doesn't think any person of Jess's size could take on a grizzly bear, let alone two.
So that night when it's just the two of them drinking beers on the porch, she again asks for the stories. Jess starts with her cousin's fishing boat in the Pacific Ocean that lost power miles from shore. Lupe doubts that they actually threw her brother overboard to lighten the load rather than the salmon they'd caught. Next is a tale of a particularly vicious snapping turtle that attacked, sunk, and proceeded to eat her canoe on Buffalo Pound Lake. Is everything in Canada named after wild animals?
But as Jess goes further back in time, her eyes light up and voice loses its ostentatious tone. Summers spent at a cabin on an island in a river.
"But don't think of a typical river - it's like a lake but with a current and rocky outcroppings and cliffs for jumping and so much walleye you couldn't imagine." Jess is right. Lupe, whose experience with water is limited to the dreary, flat, meandering Rio Grande, can't imagine any of that.
The years before Jess was of use to her family on the farm ("so Shaw's not the only farm girl on the team" - Lupe gets an elbow in the ribs for that one) she stayed with her aunt - and brothers, cousins, neighbor kids, dogs, a domesticated raccoon one summer - on The Island.
"We did the dumbest shit. One time we smashed the rowboat into a deadhead log. I’d been steering so was deemed the deadweight even though the whole point of a deadhead is that it’s underwater and you can’t see it. My idiot brothers made me swim the mile home to The Island. Nearly beat ‘em back since the boat was taking on so much water. My aunt helped me patch it up and I woke before sunrise every morning that week and took the boat out fishing by myself. Brothers had to fish off the dock like the assheads they are." And though Lupe maybe can't picture the rocks and the water, she can imagine a smaller version of Jess, tough as nails, with the same dirty braid and bright blue eyes.
"My favorite game was Battleship - you had to flip the other team’s canoe. I was undefeated in 1930. My aunt let me have my first beer to celebrate at the end of the summer. I had to start helping out of the farm soon after that so couldn’t spend months up there. But I always managed to sneak away for at least a few weekends a year.”
Jess’s aunt is a throughline in all of these tales. She sounds wild and brash, strong and resourceful - a role model for young Jess. Someone that if Lupe’d had in her own life growing up, things probably would have turned out different.
“Is your aunt like you?” Jess arches an eyebrow. A beat passes. “Like us?” There had been shared glances and insinuating comments but they hadn’t yet talked about their shared identity.
“Oh, queer?” Jess blurts so loudly that Lupe quickly looks around to ensure no one is within earshot. “No, she was married to my uncle, a good guy but he wasn’t around much those summers. It was hard for him to get around on the rocky ground. Lost his leg in a motorcycle accident - ran into an elk”. Jesus Christ, of course he did.
"We should go," Jess says after a pause. "When the season’s over there should be a few good weeks before it gets too cold and the river freezes over." Lupe is taken aback. This woman she's only known for a few weeks is making plans to spend time with her? For multiple weeks? Months from now? That isn't how things typically go for her. But Jess is looking at her so earnestly, like she really wants Lupe to see this place that means so much to her.
"Sure," is all Lupe can manage to get out.
~~~~~~
Lupe's suspicions that Jess really does want to take her back to Canada keep getting confirmed throughout the season.
When Jess tags along the day Lupe goes to the park outside Rockford to take pictures of the scenery, she won't shut up about how Lupe shouldn't be wasting her film on these 'dumb hills' when the rocks and the water around The Island are so much better.
They're playing Poker on the porch with Esti when screams come from the backyard. The three of them rush to find Carson trying to comfort Shirley over what they come to learn, after everyone calms down, was a snake sighting. Jess scoffs, "probably just a Garter snake. Nothing like the rattlers we have up North. You're not scared of snakes, right Lu? We'll be fine on The Island - I St. Patricked it and killed all of the snakes, but we might see some when we're out exploring.” Not the best sales pitch if Jess really does want Lupe to join her.
On their way to the bar one long summer evening, the sun is sinking below the horizon, leaving the sky bright orange and pink. Lupe makes some benign comment, like 'the sky looks nice' or 'cool sunset' and Jess bites back with, "this shit has nothing on a Canadian sunset."
"Dios mío Jess, not everything is better in Canada."
A hurt look makes a brief appearance on her face and Lupe immediately regrets her strong response. But Jess soon is smirking as she throws an arm around Lupe's shoulders, "just wait, you won’t know what hit you that first evening.”
“You really want me to come to Canada with you?”
“What? Of course I do! You don’t believe me? I mean, you don’t … if you have other plans, or people, you want … I wouldn’t, I don’t…”
“Jess,” Lupe cuts off the rambling. She’s never seen her that flustered. “If you want me, I’ll be there.” It must be the dusk light messing with her vision. Otherwise she’d swear Jess is blushing.
~~~~~~
Lupe is exhausted - grumpy and irritated - from the three train rides, a bus ride, and two hitches they've taken since leaving Rockford. Jess, not wanting to bring Lupe's 'bad energy' to The Island, splurges on a motel to get a good night's sleep before making the final leg of their journey in the morning. The room has one bed which reminds Lupe to ask about the sleeping situation at the cabin.
"The bunkhouse doesn't have a stove and the nights will be cold so just the one bed inside. Is that a problem?"
"Will you, me, your aunt and the raccoon all fit in the bed?"
Jess laughs, "she's back on the farm. And that raccoon went back to being feral long ago."
"Will you revert to your feral ways too? Now that you're back in Canada?" Lupe tries to keep the affection out of her voice. Jess bears her teeth and growls in response.
Lupe sleeps like a rock and wakes with her feet tangled in Jess’s.
~~~~~~
After being scolded by Jess twice for loading the boat wrong, Lupe is sent to skip rocks while Jess finishes packing their supplies into the runabout. “Sorry,” Jess says sheepishly as she approaches, “I just have a good system.”
“‘s okay,” Lupe forgives easily, handing Jess a flat rock and lets out a low whistle as Jess effortlessly flicks it across the water, leaving countless rings expanding on the smooth water. Jess takes her hand and pulls her back towards the boat.
The ride to The Island is breathtaking. Lupe instantly understands why this place has a hold over Jess. The cool breeze, the smell of pine mixed with gasoline, the red-brown rocks jutting out of the water. Jess points out a bald eagle (“I thought those were American?”) and the tall tree she directs the boat toward to avoid rocks lurking just below the surface (“is that a safe way to navigate?”)
The Island is smaller than Lupe imagined, the cabin, a few shabby outbuildings and a couple dozen trees fill the small rocky land. Jess gives her a quick tour - the bunkhouse, the boathouse, the outhouse, the woodpile and the flattest section of rock where they can play catch. The cabin consists of the aforementioned one bed, a small propane stovetop, a wood burning stove, and an icebox. “We’ll get this filled up with fish in no time.”
They spend most of the day unloading the boat, while Jess yammers on about their plans for the coming weeks. Lupe loses track of all of the fishing holes Jess wants to visit but is happy to hear mention of a few picnic spots too. Jess makes her promise to go swimming at least once, something about it being a necessary step to build up her cold tolerance. And speaking of cold, the woodpile’s looking low, they’ll have to split some more, Jess will teach her how. Lupe hums, “no need, I’ll be fine watching you chop wood all day long.”
They sit on the rocks facing west as the sun sinks down over the water. Lupe rests her head on Jess’s shoulder. “Do you bring all of your friends here?”
“Friends?” Jess's voice cracks on the word and Lupe turns to look at her, the golden light illuminating her pale skin and honey hair.
“Hermanos?” Jess shakes her head in response, whether to this statement or the original question, Lupe doesn’t know.
“I … You’re …” Jess tries. “I want …” Lupe leans in to press her lips to Jess’s, putting them both out of the misery of Jess trying to get her feelings into words.
“You were right,” Lupe says, pulling slightly away. “Everything is better in Canada,” and then presses back into Jess to remove her smirk with another kiss.
The last of the sun dips below the horizon before the buzzing of the mosquitoes drives them inside. Jess pulls Lupe up off the ground and directs her to the cabin door, following closely behind and whispering in her ear, “ready to experience my feral Canadian ways?”