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Aziraphale sighed. It had been three hours since he'd started putting his books away. Now that peace had returned, he could finally concentrate on his bookshop and repair the damage.
"Aziraphale, I've brought the next box," he turned his eyes to Muriel, who had just arrived with their arms full of the said box.
When Metatron had left, he'd left Muriel behind. The angel expressed a desire to learn more about books and to stay on Earth. Since the angel didn't have a very high status in Paradise, they had probably forgotten about their existence or decided they weren't that important. Their loss, thought Aziraphale, who offered Muriel to help him. He didn't regret it. Muriel was eager to learn, had a kind disposition, and didn't shy away from the task. As it happened, there was an empty apartment next to Maggie's above the record store. So Muriel lived there now and it didn't take long for Maggie to take them under her wing.
He turned to the angel, grabbed the box and thanked them. Gabriel had managed to disturb half of his books with his absurd way of organizing. He was about to grab the next book when Muriel cleared their throat.
"May I ask you something?"
Aziraphale replied softly, "I'm listening."
Muriel asked, "What's the Ritz?"
Aziraphale explained before asking again, "Why are you asking me that?"
Muriel, dancing from one foot to the other, explained, "Well, that's something Mr. Crowley said to me the other day."
Aziraphale smiled fondly and told them gently, "You can just call him Crowley."
"Ah... Um... okay. Well, when you left with Metatron, Crowley was surprised to see me at first, and then he said that when you came back, he thought you would need some time for the two of you, and that you would have an extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz afterwards. And he insisted that I shouldn't be there. Aziraphale?"
Muriel paused, seeing the angel's lost expression and not quite knowing what to do, they asked, "Did I say something wrong?"
Aziraphale shook his head and replied, his throat tight with emotion, "Muriel, can you leave me for today?"
Then, seeing the angel's expression, he continued, "You are not to blame, not at all. But I must do something."
Muriel lifted their head and said softly, "I'll be with Maggie if you need me."
Aziraphale, lost in thought, didn't even hear them come out.
His head was spinning with one thought.
He'd almost ruined everything.
Crowley must have been looking forward to finally being alone with him, having a good time at the Ritz, and Aziraphale had blown it.
He had so much to make up for. All the dancing in the world wouldn't be enough.
Aziraphale looked around and his eyes fell on the spot where Crowley had stood when he'd confessed his feelings to him.
Right there behind the red chair.
The scene unfolded before him.
He remembered how Crowley had for the first time looked so unsure of himself.
“We've known each other a long time. We've been on this planet for a long time. I mean, you and me.”
Why had Aziraphale not noticed then how shaky the demon's voice sounded? How jerky his breathing had become? He had probably struggled to open up to Aziraphale and hadn't seen anything.
“I could always rely on you. You could always rely on me. We're a team, a group. Group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence
pretending that we aren't. I mean, the last few years, not really.”
It all came back to Aziraphale, and he was horrified at how blind he'd been as Crowley bared his heart. He hadn't seen the tears in the demon's eyes, hadn't heard the sobs in his voice.
“And I would like to spend...”
Aziraphale didn't realize he was crying as he replayed the scene in his mind. Crowley so overcome with emotion that he couldn't finish his sentence. Crowley who had run out of words.
“I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, go off together, then we can . Just the two of us. We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell, they're toxic. We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me, what do you say?”
And Aziraphale had shattered Crowley's hope. In that moment, so convinced he was in the right, he'd trampled on the heart Crowley had laid bare for him.
The angel fell to the ground, right where Crowley had stood that day.
What had Aziraphale said?
“But... Well, obviously you said no to Hell, you're the bad guys.
But Heaven... Well, it's the side of truth, of light, of good.”
Truth, light, good?
Really good, yes, the way he'd reacted to Crowley's confession. He felt even more incredibly lucky that Crowley had forgiven him.
Aziraphale couldn't forgive himself, he was so ashamed.
He should have been happy. But instead, he had brushed Crowley's confession aside as if it didn't matter.
"Angel?"
He turned his head sharply in the direction of Crowley, who had just entered the shop. Seeing him kneeling on the floor, the demon threw his glasses on the table before rushing over and kneeling before him, calling out in a worried tone, "Angel? What's wrong?"
Aziraphale felt the tears return in full force at the demon's immediate concern.
He raised his hand to Crowley's face and brought it to his cheek before saying in a voice choked with tears, "Crowley, I'm so sorry. I hurt you so much. I saw nothing, I heard nothing. Please forgive me. Forgive me."
Crowley, looking confused, grabbed Aziraphale's wrist and asked, "But what do I have to forgive you for?"
Aziraphale chuckled sadly, "That you even ask shows me how much better you are than me. Forgive me for treating your confession with such disrespect. You didn't deserve it. I-"
Crowley interrupted, "Angel, Metatron messed with your head pretty good back then. You're not res-"
Aziraphale shook his head vigorously, "Stop, Crowley, stop right now. Yes, Metatron had a lot to do with it, but I have my share of responsibility, and I don't want to deny it anymore. Because I made you suffer. I made you suffer. Crowley, I made you suffer, and I sincerely apologize."
Crowley took a long breath and, locking eyes with Aziraphale, said in a clear voice, "I forgive you."
Aziraphale swallowed and replied softly, "Thank you," then wrapped his arm around Crowley's neck, pulling him against him and holding him in his arms, muttering over and over, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Crowley wrapped his arms around the angel in return and replied softly, "It's all right, angel, it's all right now."
Aziraphale stepped back slightly and replied, "Not quite."
The demon looked at him quizzically. The angel continued, "Crowley, will you do something for me? Will you finish the sentence you could not finish that day? Remember just before you spoke of Gabriel and Beelzebub?"
He saw that Crowley had understood when the demon stood up, and once on his feet held out his hand to Aziraphale to help him up. When Aziraphale was on his feet, not letting go of his hand, Crowley cleared his throat before saying in a slightly shaky voice, "I would like to spend..." he paused, swallowed several times, then Aziraphale took his hand in his own and said, "It's all right, Crowley...go ahead."
Crowley nodded, "I want to spend the rest of my life, the rest of eternity, with you. What do you say?"
Aziraphale released his hand and cupped the demon's face in his hands, saying softly but firmly, "I say yes. Let's spend the rest of our lives together. Let's spend eternity together."
The demon closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He opened his eyes abruptly when he felt the pressure of the angel's lips on his, before closing them again, not wanting to lose any of the feelings of the moment. He wrapped his arms around the angel to hold him tighter, deepening the kiss.
Moments later, they parted to catch their breath, forehead to forehead, their breaths mingling, and remained so in the exact spot where Crowley had first uttered those words.
Then, this time, it was Crowley who pressed his lips to the angel's, prolonging the kiss, gradually replacing bad memories with new ones. Better ones.
Much better ones.
It was only the first step.
But it was enough for now.
*********
Muriel walked through the door of the coffee shop and no sooner had they stepped through the door than Maggie and Nina rushed up to them and asked in unison, "Well?"
Muriel frowned before answering, "Well, I don't know. I saw Aziraphale and Mister Grumpy hugging very tightly, so tightly I couldn't see their faces, in the middle of the bookshop. Is that a good thing?"
Maggie and Nina exchanged a knowing look before looking at Muriel with a big smile on their lips.
"It's perfect, Muriel. Perfect."
The two women took Muriel by the arm, each on one side, and led them to the counter.
Nina said, "I'm going to treat you to some hot chocolate, my little bee."
Muriel liked hot chocolate, so they didn't protest. But they thought humans were a little strange.
However, they seemed happy, so Muriel was fine with it.