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Damian was sitting with his knees hugged in his room's window in Wayne Manor. The full moon's light shined the whole place. It was close to midnight. Things take a bad turn in Gotham City around this time. But Damian's thoughts were far away, at the Metropolis University. In one of the college dormitories the moon was shining just like this, but the window is empty, and there is a chest rising peacefully in the bed.
"Titus, what do you think I should do?"
The great dane didn't raise his head, but he was looking at his master understandingly.
"Yes. You're right." said the boy and he turned up his hood, and after jumping out of the window, he headed to the Manor's garage.
*
It was easy peasy to get into Jonathan Kent's college room. Damian climbed through the fence in a blink of an eye, crossed the park, located the building without any problems, and got up on the wall like a cat, quickly reaching the room's window. Opening the window was a cherry on top. However, he didn't expect a voice to say his name after he closed the window behind him in the most silent way possible.
"Damian! What the hell are you doing here?"
The boy couldn't breathe for a minute, but he quickly collected himself and slowly turned around. Jonathan was standing in front of him, his hair messy, pyjamas crumpled, arms crossed in front of his chest. He wasn't in a good mood, not one bit. Damian couldn't look into his eyes, and he really hoped, that the boy wouldn't use his heat vision to sense his heartbeat.
"I wanted to talk."
"It's one in the morning!" snapped Jonathan. After a few minutes of silence though, he sighed helplessly, rubbed his eyes, and sat on his bed. "Talk then."
As Damian looked at him, the feeling of this invisible gap between them reemerged in him again. Jonathan sitting with his legs crossed, reaching for his glasses, cleaning it a little and then putting it on his nose... so natural and real, something that Damian could never feel inside of him. All of his moves were based on precise calculations. Measuring the possible reactions before acting. He was brought in the belief that feelings are holding back people, thus they need to be executed. Strategizing is the only way to win a battle. Or a heart.
When he realised that he fell in love with Jonathan Kent, he was so annoyed at himself and at the boy too. Their friendship was poisoned by this unsaid frustration, with which Damian couldn't do anything. He became even more cruel than usual, and every time Jonathan tried to understand him, he isolated himself even more. It's been like this for half a year now.
"I want to understand what you have done to me."
Jonathan's face darkened.
"What I have done to you?" Damian kept his gaze on him, though the idea of the boy cutting him In half with his laser eyes crossed his mind. "What do you mean?! From one day to the next you've changed! Either you ditched me, or, when I wouldn't go away, you kept on hurting me! Damian, we were best friends, I would have done anything to keep it like that. What have you done to us?!"
The tears in Jonathan's eyes didn't miss Damian's attention, but the boy aggressively rubbed them away without giving them any chance to drip down his cheeks.
"Something happened that... I didn't know how to process."
For the first time, worry appeared on Jon's face beside anger. He appeared in front of Damian in a blink of an eye and was holding his hands encouragingly.
"What happened, Damian? And why didn't you say anything? I'm sure we could have worked it out together. I could have helped! What happened?"
Damian lost himself in Jonathan's eyes as they were looking at him filled with sadness and love. Words slipped out so easily like they have never before:
"I fell in love with you."
For a minute they just stood there in the moon lit room. Jon let go of Damian's hand, shocked, awkwardly staring at the boy, and then fixing his gaze onto the floor. Deep in his thoughts his fingers kept running through his hair, bit his lip, turned around, took a few steps around the place, and without any signs punched Damian. The boy back off against the window with his nose bleeding. Jonathan not giving time to the other to recover grabbed Damian's hoodie's collar and pulled closer to him the still dizzy boy.
"Is this your explanation for how you behaved?! Dou you have any idea how much I have suffered because of you? You don't treat someone you truly love like this!"
Damian could have easily break out from Jon's grip, but his strength was slowly escaping him. He never felt anything like this: his brain was betraying him, all the thoughts left unsaid after all those months, the struggling and the pain came in waves. Pressure emerged in hist chest, his eyes were burning. Tears.
"I'm sorry." said him with great difficulty. He closed his eyes strongly so Jon wouldn't see the state he was in, and he did the same with his teeth, so he could minimalize his sobbing. "I didn't know how to handle the situation. From one moment to the next, everything has changed. I wanted to be next to you, but I didn't want you to get hurt. Every time we patrolled, I was always afraid that something might slip my attention, because I would grow weak from these feelings, resulting in something terrible. All that for simply allowing myself to love you!" He couldn't hold back his tears anymore; they were dripping down his face endlessly. "If you get wounded or die because I'm unable to concentrate... I would have never forgiven myself. But how should I have told you all of this, since I didn't even know the reasons myself. I don't get people, and the fact that an alian knows us, me better... I just wanted to be normal. Just for once, at least."
Jonathan's grip slowly weakened, but his eyes were still serious.
"I know what you have been through, Damian. But you're also a human, and your inexperience is not going to save you from the consequences of your behaviour. I get that your cold logic was perplexed by feelings, but if you believe that you would have treated this situation better as a "normal" human being, you have never been more wrong in your life." Jon sighed. "When are you going to finally let go of this constant comparison? You cannot change your past, but the future is always there. No good will come out of you keep on living in the belief that you were raised as a heartless killing machine. Do you seriously not see how lovable you are?" Jonathan wiped Damian's tears and held his face in his hands. "My god, Damian."
The kiss happened both incredibly quickly and incredibly slow. Damian couldn't process it utterly. He only knew that for once in his life, there was silence in his head, no calculation whatsoever, he just lost himself in the moment, and though he was vulnerable and fragile, he didn't mind. Soon Jon pulled away. He was still angry, but a smile was sparkling in his eyes.
"Don't you think I will instantly forgive you."
"If you give me time to make it right, I don't mind."
"You can start from tomorrow."
"You mean from today?"
Jonathan sighed while smiling as he looked at the clock. Two in the morning. He kissed Damian one more time.
"From today."
THE END
