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It was midnight at Hogwarts and James was on a midnight walk outside of the castle. Everything was like every other night he spend outside until he saw a dark silhouette standing alone on the quidditch field. James quickly recognised the silhouette as Regulus Black as the boy was standing alone in the cold dark night with only a small pool of moonlight hitting his face, just enough to make James be able to recognise who he was. He didn’t know much about the boy, only that he was Sirius’ younger brother and while he was thinking about it he realised he had never really talked to the boy except for a couple ignored “hey Reggie” ‘s when Regulus walked past him in the hallway. James had always thought that Regulus was interesting so as soon as James realised who the figure was he quickly walked up to him with his usual bright, genuine, smile on his face.
As soon as Regulus noticed someone was approaching him he felt surprised, who would approach a random person in the middle of night? He felt a little uncomfortable by the situation because who was even awake at this time and why would they walk up to a dark figure in the middle of a field? But he wasn’t going to look away from whoever was approaching him to make sure he was save and the figure wasn’t there to hurt him so as soon as the figure came close enough he realised who it was, it was James Potter, one of his brothers stupid friends. He felt confused and annoyed as to why the boy would interrupt him on his peaceful night outside and to why he was walking up to him with his stupid, bright, happy, smile on his face.
"What do you want, Potter?" He asked in his usual cold voice as soon as James was close enough to talk to him like a normal person.
As soon as James reached Regulus he could sense the boy’s unease with the situation, and also that Regulus was probably not a big fan of him but he decided to just ignore that for now. James proceeded to quickly greet the younger boy with the warmest smile he could muster up and responded as friendly as he could. "No reason, I was just taking a stroll. Why are you out here so late, Reggie?" He paused, hoping to lighten the mood a little by just smiling at him for a moment. "Don't you know how cold it is? You should go back to your dorm." He then said, still speaking in his kind, warm voice and with that bright, friendly, smile still on his face.
Regulus was not very happy and amused by being called 'Reggie.' However, he did seem genuinely confused by James' friendliness. It was almost unsettling to him. "Yes, it's very cold tonight, but I've been out here before." He said in a very monotone voice, not showing much emotion. "I was just thinking about things. Why do you seem so interested in me?" He asked, sounding very suspicious of whatever James wanted from him.
James doesn't take any offence at the lack of warmth in Regulus’ voice and behaviour. Perhaps he understood that the poor boy had had a rough life.
"Oh, I'm just being friendly." James paused for a moment and then nodded. "I was hoping to be able to help you, it's not safe to be out here alone in the dark. But if you need time to think," he paused again and then spoke slower and more intentionally. "Then I could leave if that is what you want." He said this time smiling more softly while giving Regulus the option.
Regulus was taken aback by how genuinely nice James was to him. He was unsure how to act around him, but he was also curious. He normally would have immediately send whoever was bothering him way so he didn’t know what came over him as he slowly nodded and felt himself wanting to let the other boy stay. So for a moment he looked out into the night sky and then decided that maybe he could try this for ones, so after some moments of thinking he responded to James’ request. "Fine, you can stay..if you really wanted to." He said and then glanced over at James, still not entirely sure of his intentions and still cautious about whatever was gonna happen.
James nodded with a smile and went to sit down on the grass next to Regulus.
He looked out into the night and then back at him, studying the boy who is still standing next to him up and down with a curious look in his eyes.
"Why are you out here so often, Reggie?" He said looking him in the eyes with a warm, friendly look.
"Not that I'm judging you, I'm quite the night owl myself." He said and he offered him a grin before he looked back at the night sky again after a couple moments.
Regulus was a little surprised by James' genuine interest in his life. He had never really had friends like that before so he wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
He looked at James as he sat down on the grass beside him after a couple moments of hesitation....he had never really looked at anyone like this, he wasn’t sure about it all and it almost made him feel uncomfortable.
Then he thought for a moment as he subconsciously followed James’ gaze, and finally answered with a very slow, deliberate response. "I think. Do you want to know what I think about?" He sounded like he was really contemplating his response and he wasn’t sure why he was opening up to the other boy that much, he never opened up to people but somehow this felt…different.
As soon as Regulus said that James quickly looked back at him and nodded, as if to say "yes" without having to speak it out loud. He was curious, but he also hoped that he was not asking anything that Regulus would prefer not to speak about.
"Yes, but only if you would be comfortable sharing anything." James said, and as always his tone was kind and genuine.
He smiled warmly and leaned against the ground of the Quidditch field with his arms and hands supporting his own weight while watching some snow fall down on the same ground they were sitting on, he continued having focused on Regulus and made sure to be ready to listen to whatever Regulus had to say.
Regulus on the other hand was not at all comfortable sharing his most private thoughts and feelings with anyone. But for some reason, he felt like something inside him was urging him to open up to James. Maybe it was James’ warm smile. But the more he looked at the boy and the more he saw the more he wanted to tell him something.
"I dream," He said quietly after thinking about it for some time. "I dream of being good."
Regulus' face felt warm as he said this, as if something is freeing him, he never did and had never before planned to share this with anyone but yet here he was telling one of his deepest secret to a boy he never talked to before.
As soon as James heard Regulus responds he felt confused and blinked a couple times in surprise, he had not expected such a vulnerable answer from the younger boy. He studied Regulus' face for a couple seconds and saw that the boy looked very emotional and James he felt weirdly happy to know that he was being trusted with on of the other’s deepest thoughts.
"You dream of being good?" James asked softly after a couple moments.
"But you are good." James said as he placed his hands on top of Regulus' gently. "What makes you think you're not?"
Regulus was very surprised by James' answer and by the fact that he found himself crying, he didn’t remember the last time he cried and he couldn’t help but feel ashamed. He looked down at the grass that was beginning to look white because of the snow that he didn’t realised had fallen down and he saw some parts of the grass right in front of him covered in tears. He didn’t know why he felt so vulnerable in that moment but he did and he definitely didn’t like it. Maybe it was James' genuine kindness that effected him like nothing else had before, so after some moments he felt himself continuing. “I have so much darkness inside of me....I don't know if I'll ever escape it." He said and he looked up at James witch seemed to be a good decision because he saw that James really did care and that made Regulus feel slightly better about everything and also about himself, which had been something he had struggled with his as long as he could remember.
As soon as James noticed Regulus was crying he put an arm around the other boy and pulled him in for a hug, his own heart feeling a little tighter as he watched the pain play out on Regulus’ face.
"Reggie," James said, sounding concerned. "What darkness? Do you mean whatever your family has been trying to do to you and make you believe all their stuff?" He looked around a bit hoping this wasn’t really the case, because for him what Regulus was saying wasn’t fair. Regulus didn’t deserve to think of himself in a negative way just because of what his family did and had done to him, actually he didn’t deserve to think about himself in that way at all so James really hoped there was a way he could help the other boy like he always wanted to help people when they were upset about things.
Regulus let out a long exhale in response to James' kindness. His eyes were still watery, and he was glad for the hug James had given him. His arms wrapped tightly around James' tall frame, and he leaned in so the side of his face was against his chest.
"It's not just my family," He said in a choked voice. "It's me. I feel like I'm a monster......I feel like I am so different from other people, and I feel like I am going mad." He said while tears were still rolling down his cheeks, so he closed his eyes and tried his best to calm down a bit, but without much succes.
James started to stroke Regulus's back and hugged him a little bit tighter as he leaned more against him.
"Oh Reggie, you're certainly not a monster." James said, sounding very concerned. "What makes you feel that way?"
James felt ready to try to help with wherever he could, or possibly give advice, but he would not push Regulus to speak if he didn’t want to.
"In what ways do you feel different?" He said, hoping to gain at least some insight on the boys thoughts.
Regulus didn’t respond for a couple moments and just buried his face in James’ chest while a few more tears rolled down his cheeks. At that James wrapped his arms around Regulus in a more reassuring fashion way while trying to help him calm down. After some time Regulus tried to compose himself again and he wiped off the tears that were still on his cheeks with the sleeves of his dark robes.
"My father," He said quietly. "I... I hate to admit it... but I have dark feelings inside of me.. just like he does."
Regulus looked back up at James' kind face and sighed. "I feel like I have his blood in my own veins....and I am afraid that one day I'll let myself be like him."
James listened intently to everything that Regulus said. He could tell that this was a very difficult subject for Regulus so he really tried his best to be as comforting as possible.
"Reggie," He started off softly. "Everyone has darkness in them, we all have the potential to be 'evil' if we allow ourselves to be consumed by it. But that doesn't mean you are evil now, or that your father has any control over your future."
James leaned against Regulus a bit and smiled, his tone was still gentle but with a bit more conviction as he responded to Regulus as genuine as possible to hopefully help him at least a little bit.
Regulus looked up at James as soon as he said that and James was smiling down at him with that friendly expression still on his face. He was not sure how to take James' words. On one hand, they comforted him because they allowed him to believe that the dark cloud he had over his future was not his fault. On the other hand, his worries about being consumed by the darkness were coming true right in front of James.
"How can I know I won't be consumed by it one day?" He asked quietly. "How can I know I won't be like my father?"
Regulus said while desperately looking for answers, things like this had been going through his mind for years now and now suddenly he had finally found someone that could maybe give him all the answers to all the questions and concerns he had ever had about all of this.
James thought for a moment as he still smiled at Regulus softly.
"Well, to be honest Reggie," He paused for a moment and then continued. "You don't know."
He studied Regulus' face and could tell that his answer was not what he expected nor wanted. So he quickly added something to his answer in order to clarify what exactly he meant.
"But that's my point. It's your decision not to be consumed by the darkness. All I'm saying is that you're still the master of your own thoughts and decisions. Your destiny is in your own hand, your hand and your hands only"
James’ words cut through the dark haze that had loomed over Regulus for years. They cut through his fear. And as Regulus thought about them, he realised that what James was saying was true. A small smile appeared on Regulus’ face a he suddenly realised all the answers to all the questions that he had had for so long had finally been answered, he leaned into James’ shoulder a little more a d a small blush appeared on Regulus’ face as he thought about the amazing boy without either of them realising it was there.
“....I will not become like him.” He said quietly after a couple of moments and as soon as he said these words, a feeling of euphoria washed over him and the feeling of control over his destiny was intoxicating as his smile only grew.
James nodded in agreement as also his own smile grew after seeing Regulus' reaction.
"You won't, Reggie." He said confidently.
"You're better than him." He said, knowing that that was the truth.
He put his arms around Regulus again and pulled him a bit closer, holding onto him as he spoke.
"It's your decisions and the path that you choose to follow that decides your destiny," He said, looking at the boy, still with a warm smile on his face. "And I know you'll make the right choices, Reggie."