Chapter Text
Did you go and make promises you can't keep?
Well, when ya break them, they break you right back
Amateur mistake
You can take it from me
***
"Are you never going to get it? Aziraphale, did you even listen to what I said?"
"Of course I did. As far as I was concerned, we both wanted the same thing. I offered you an opportunity, a chance, of peace. We wouldn’t be bothered anymore. I thought that’s what you wanted."
"We wouldn’t be bothered anymore? First of all, has it crossed your mind that he wasn’t telling the truth? Did you truly believe that they would welcome me with open arms? You’re not that daft, Aziraphale."
"Why wouldn’t they? Why would the voice of God lie?"
"I can muster about a dozen reasons."
"Well, I think you’re wrong. God doesn’t play games–"
"Are you sure you want to finish that sentence?"
Aziraphale sighed.
"Second of all, you know nothing about what I want. I quite literally never wanted to come back."
"I didn’t want to argue. Not about this. I wanted to talk to you about…"
"What? What could you possibly want to talk to me about?"
They both stopped, obviously thinking about the same thing. About the same memory.
"I loved you, you know."
"I do. I do know. I think I have for a long time."
"Yeah, well, great thing to know, being that you didn’t do shit about it."
"I don’t recall you doing anything about it either."
He sounded smug, the bastard.
"Are you serious? The moment I did you went off running as far as you could. I was stepping on eggs for centuries, and the moment I decided to take a stand, they all broke. It all crumbled."
"You can’t believe that was your fault."
"I didn’t say it was."
Beat.
"Not that it matters now, does it. It didn’t mean anything. It stopped meaning when you entered the lift."
"Crowley–"
"Don’t."
"I was trying to keep you near. Keep you safe."
"From who? Your coworkers? I don’t need protection, Angel."
It slipped. Aziraphale flinched, and Crowley’s heart broke a little bit more.
"I don’t need your explanation, either. You can go do whatever it is you need to do. Organize paperwork, look menacingly at the cherubs. See if I give a damn."
Aziraphale looked hurt.
"I meant it too, you know. I really do need you."
Crowley stared, feeling his insides burn with fury.
They stayed silent for a moment.
"I am sorry, too."
"Lot of good that does."
Aziraphale left, and Crowley tried breathing. It didn’t help.