Work Text:
“ETHO, GIVE ME THE-”
His face landed smack first on the soft cushioned ground beneath his feet. His chest heaved from the adrenaline which ran through his body, alongside the stream of blood which pooled beneath where he laid. Knowing how these stupid life games would go, toying with each player and jumbling up their perception on life, he was displeased to know that… He was still alive.
For the time being at least. With how the world slowly enveloped over his dying body, and the way sound seemed to muffle out into an eerily high-pitched screech, he knew his time was about to end. His body was burning up, screaming at him to get up and keep on moving. He was Bdubs after all! He’d never give up or falter to the hands of others. Not when he had a special someone waiting on the other side for him.
Prying at the ground with tattered hands and chipped fingernails, he allowed for the dirt to inch its way under his nails just so he’d have a slight chance of survival while he still could.
Etho, Etho, Etho… It was the only thing eligible in his mind. Despite his boisterous nature and enthusiasm, not a single word seemed to have left his chatterbox mouth. Rather a broken radio continued to infest his mind as his last boost of strength quickly dwindled. The pain which stung through his body was quickly overtaken by the frustration and determination clinging on for dear life.
He didn’t go through all this, just to die at the hand of the same guy who he had killed on his first day. Was this revenge? Or was it an act of teamwork for his fellow teammates? And killed with a bow of all things! A flimsy bow and arrow which pierced through his back and out his chest. The same blunt tip which managed to poison him with dismay and excruciating agony.
His eyes quickly flickered over to something at the corner of his vision. A white flower, right next to him. Bdubs winced remembering the death of Lizzie, Lizzie who was the unfortunate victim to Bdubs’ twisted delusions of getting back with Etho. The flashes of yellow blurred his vision, but not enough to stop Bdubs from pushing forward and ultimately killing Lizzie. The blasts of fireworks burned his skin and tampered with his vision. Regardless, he just continued to push forward with the same passion he had with everything else.
“I’m sick.”
“Oh noo… Bdubs!”
“It’s yo- it’s your freaking fault, by the way!”
“Ooh… You’re such a fragile flower!”
The soft tone which glazed every sentence he said only blinded Bdubs further. His heart fluttered at the way a sheepish grin crept up on his face. If he could, he'd wipe that stupid smile off his face. But they’re in a team for goodness sake. He’s in a team with the Etho in fact! The same Etho he’d been hanging out for what seemed to be decades. The same Etho whose laugh always made his smile wider. It always felt like a rare occurrence hearing a hearty laugh of pure joy leave his mouth, so it was no surprise that he treasured every single moment of it.
It was a treat having known him long enough to study and observe every crinkle of his mask signifying his emotions. Alongside the way his eyes would smile regardless of the nasty scar which stretched from his jaw up to his hairline.
Not to mention the cherry red eye which collided with the scar, right beside a grey cloudish eye contrasting its vibrant colour. Or the way his hair nearly seemed unreal, as if his real strands of hair were similarly coated in snow like rooftops during the winter. His skin was an unusual pale shade, nearly matching the tone of his hair.
But regardless of his features, regardless of whatever shitty qualities he may have…
He still loves him.
And he knows Etho loves him too.
Bdubs continued to lie on the cold ground, his warmth being sucked out by the dirt and grass blades brushing his exposed, grazed skin. A sound rang loudly beside his ear, to which a green text box popped up before his very eyes.
<Etho> nooooo
<ZombieCleo> D:
<Etho> gg buddy
His body loosened itself, the tension and heavy weight resting on his shoulder was finally lifted. He was dead. So why was he still crying? Why could he still feel despair electrifying his body? He was free from Grian’s twisted and messed up game, so why did he still feel the want and need to remain?
Bdubs could feel himself being lifted off the ground with ease. His feet barely touched the ground now as he hovered above his remains and soon to be decaying body. He felt sick seeing arrows sticking out his back as if he was a porcupine, each arrow being tainted with crimson red soaking into the wood.
Well, now he is dead. So what? The next best thing would be to leave find Etho. His body gravitated towards Etho’s location immediately, he felt out of breath despite the ease of flying. He had to know where he was, and how he was.
He eventually found Etho trailing behind Scott, Cleo, and Ren deep underground. Bdubs was aware of Etho’s quiet nature, it never meant that he was silent all the time however. He was silent with the intent of tuning in and noting what others would say. He was analytical, calculative of nearly everything really. Sure, he could be a stumbling goofy fool at times, but he was smart.
So when he saw the dread in his eyes and silence tainting his every action, his heart sank.
“Aw man… I lost Bdubs.”
Bdubs immediately perked up hearing those words leave Etho’s mouth. Every other word which left anyone else’s sounded nothing but muffled, the same muffled out background he had to endure during his last few minutes of life.
“That hurts me a lot, actually.”
Oh?
“Oh man, I thought he was going to get a life back, y’know? And everything would be smooth and peachy again.”
“Let’s not forget Etho that on the first day, he let you live too!”
Someone said.
“Yeah… Yeah he’s always had my back…”
Bdubs despised having tuned in to the conversation, but it was too late to back away. Curiosity itched at him, just to hear what more Etho had to say about his death.
“But I couldn’t just give him a life, I don’t think. That wouldn’t have-”
“No, no that’s not-”
“No.”
Distorted voices left hums of approval.
“He had to earn it.”
Oh.
It was odd to him. How the moment Lizzie had fallen, and her life got stolen from her, that he didn’t feel anything new. He’d have gone through the experience of exchanging lives several times already, whether it was through Scar who had struck up a deal with Etho, or Tango, who was the unfortunate victim to Bdubs’ sick game of losing lives over and over.
Not once had Etho ever given him a life. That moment was supposed to happen then and there. And even if he still turned red in the end, surely a small break of the rules couldn’t hurt? So long as he just could squeeze in more time with Etho while he still could. Oh the countless times Etho had to persuade others just so he could get Bdubs a life. It was never for himself, it was always for Bdubs. Right?
Or was it just so he could survive. Tango and Grian’s words still stuck at the back of his mind like glue, as if they had engraved it into his brain.
“Bdubs has no- Bdubs, Etho has no loyalty to you. He’s just immediately teamed up with the next guy that comes along!”
“Yeah, he’s a survivor man, that’s all he does, survive.”
He was engulfed by a fury of perplexed emotions. Bdubs didn’t know if he wanted to cry or punch the nearest wall out of frustration. No, no. Etho loved him, he cares. He knows that. He knows from the endless supply of love and care Etho would pour onto him. So why couldn’t Etho persuade himself to give Bdubs his life. They never betrayed each other, never! Why would they? Why would he?
Bdubs could freely leave anytime, the choice to do so was right there. But as he clung onto Etho even more, the warmth which once radiated off of him turned icy cold. Constantly watching over his shoulder, he could feel his own eyes twitch as solemn struck him.
The session was coming to an end. He scanned the way Etho’s eyes would always dart back to the snow fort they had built together. It was a bit shabby, and it really wasn’t the best defence in the world, but nothing stuck around in a game like this. He longed for the days they’d be able to get back together again, embracing one another with tight hugs and warm tea ready to go. Similar to the first time Bdubs went red.
The moment Grian announced the end of the session, Bdubs sat watching as each player left the server. Their names go grey for a second before disappearing off the list. As he awaited Etho’s departure from the server, he couldn’t help but notice the stubbornness in his actions as he stood in place. He waved Scott, Cleo and Ren goodbye as each of them left the game for a brief break.
Soon it was only Grian and Etho,
Bdubs watched as Etho’s fingers moved swiftly and quickly, not skipping a beat as his hands shook vigorously. He looked over his shoulder, taking a peek at what private conversation they might be having.
<Etho> where is he?
<Grian> bdubs?
<Etho> yeah
<Grian> etho im not sure if you saw but he’s dead
<Etho> i mean his body grian
<Grian> free loot?
<Etho> something like that haha
<Grian> come on the session’s ended already!
<Grian> also im fairly certain his stuff despawned already
<Etho> please? its not for looting i just need to get something off him
<Grian> alright
<Etho> ty
Upon receiving confirmation and an extra message of Bdubs’ coordinates, Etho was quick to make a mad dash to the unknown location. Bdubs could only look with confusion in his eyes, what could Etho need off of him? He doesn’t recall having anything significant on him when he died.
Chasing behind Etho, he cringed seeing his tattered limp body lying there. The blood which pooled underneath him had soaked his mossy green cloak, permanently painting it a deep shade of crimson. What was once a miscellany of gorgeous, blooming flowers now turned into deep red roses, with vines covered in thorns wrapping around him, But it seemed that even the red of the roses were losing its colour. Even as a ghost, he still felt sick knowing what the putrid scent of a decaying body and blood smelt like. He was even more bewildered seeing Etho’s face soften, putting all his gear aside, resting them on a nearby rock.
Etho crouched down beside Bdubs’ body, his hand cupping Bdubs’ cheek as he rubbed circles into it. His softened face eventually transitioned to furrowed eyebrows and a saddened look to be seen in his eyes.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Dubs.”
Bdubs, who was previously averting his eyes, quickly snapped his head back upon hearing his name. His mouth was left hanging open, wanting to say something only for it to be pushed back down by the lump in his throat. He gulped back anything previously thought off, focusing his attention slowly on Etho.
“What am I going to do without you? I’d be completely lost without someone oh so strong and confident to guide me!” Etho chuckled, making light of the situation he still refused to believe happened.
Laughter soon turned into choked sobs, retracting his hand back to hug himself as he sat next to his body. Bdubs was left speechless, witnessing something he never thought he’d see. It was just a game, a game which showed the worst side of everyone. It shouldn’t be taken so seriously right? They all had their lives outside of this labyrinth. So why did he sit next to Etho whose face was buried into his arms, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder.
He felt colder.
Just let me love you, and I’ll wipe the tears off your cheeks. Let me love you, and you’ll never need to hide your fear. Let me love you, and I’ll cradle your face with affection and warmth. Love me, and you’ll never be alone again. Love me, and we’ll never be cold again.
If only you'd let me live, then could we laugh into each others’ chests, flaunt about with child-like freedom, hold each others’ calloused hands and smile with all we have. You are my life, but am I yours?
<Grian> etho, server’s closing soon btw
Etho drowsily lifted his head, taking out his control panel to respond back to Grian. Poor guy clearly was still processing everything, and so was Bdubs. He watched as his shaky hands struggled to type out sentences, even words.
<Etho> sorry
<Etho> give mem a few more minutes
<Etho> just need to get one last hting
It was painfully awkward to watch as Etho struggled to even pull himself up, let alone steady himself. Bdubs watched Etho cling onto his moss cloak, stuck in that same position with little to no movement. The only thing he could see was his chest heaving and the uncomfortable silence besides his heavy breathing.
Etho eventually found the will to gently remove the cloak off of Bdubs’ body, hanging it over his shoulder. His eyes continued to scan his body, his vision tunnelling towards a beaten clock, barely functioning. Etho found his hands brushing its cold, gold glistening surface, before prying it off as delicately as possible. Bdubs didn’t understand anything, he didn’t understand just why he was doing this. He could have come for what? Some scraps lying around, maybe get some extra materials while he was still there, but no. He chose Bdubs.
Shoving the clock into his pocket, he hauled himself elsewhere. The scent of dead flowers wafted around him, but he could only refuse the offer.
He struggled to breathe under the mask, and yet, refused to take it off. Etho walked through the remains of their exploded fort, reminiscing about the start of their base and the constant arguments over whether that staircase looked good or not. It was only a month or so ago when they first teamed up, yet it felt like years since he felt the same joy he once had.
Walking over the debris and ducking underneath the dense trees, he made his way up. It was no surprise that their cobblestone box was now broken beyond repair, garbage littering the floor and broken chests spilling its contents onto the wooden floor boards.
Bdubs held his breath, almost as if he was right beside Etho, witnessing all their past memories unfold before their very eyes. Etho traced his hand alongside the cracks of their cobblestone walls, looking outside the gaping holes of their house to see their packed snow continuing to slowly melt off.
They say that those hanging on for dear life, gripping at a rope with only a strand holding them up, would witness their entire life flash before their very eyes. So if that was the case, then Bdubs was more alive than ever.
Like a tape being rewinded, he recalled the way his heart sank seeing the place they called home slowly crumble apart. Home, a place where you find comfort in and seek safety, now holding a title as nothing but a base. It always was one, it just never felt like one in the beginning.
Etho huffed, lying down on his bed as his legs folded under him. Etho would typically glance to his left, where Bdubs laid. The spot always acted as an indicator on how Bdubs was doing, to him at least. Bdubs, the one who slept the night away, bringing light to the server like their sun. If Bdubs was sound asleep with a rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, he was fine. If just barely under his eyelids could he see a frustrated, bloodthirsty Bdubs, he was disappointed at most. If Etho could only see the light once overcasted by his shadow, something was wrong. And if he could only see a neatly made bed with a smoothened out blanket and fluffed up pillow, then the world is a lie.
So, rather than facing reality, he could only stare up where his hopes lie, examining the barely taped together roof dangling above him. Through the small cracks, he caught a glimpse of the still bright blue sky. He could only wish to stay here the whole day, left to mourn his partner for the days to come. Unfortunately, he can’t disobey the rules.
<Etho> im done
<Etho> could i get a tp back to where scott is?
<Grian> oh dont worry
<Grian> you should be brought back to them once you rejoin
<Etho> ah alright ty
<Grian> gonna shut down the server now
<Grian> oh, sorry about bdubs
<Etho> lol its fine, he killed you on the first day so its only fair
<Grian> exactly!
Glancing over to Etho, he could tell he was just barely clinging on what was left of him. The moss cloak, and the clock of all things. The clock which Etho had handcrafted just for him. The same clock which he received on the same day he fell. Seeing the small chatter between Etho and Grian only puzzled him further.
If Etho knew how the games were and knew that this had no effect on reality, how could he be so attached to have gone back for his stuff? Hermitcraft was always a wide, open door. But knowing how Etho is with his schedule of disappearing every so often for long periods of time, he doubts that they’d even be able to speak to each other, let alone see one another.
Maybe next season then, just maybe.
Etho left the game.
Grian left the game.
BdoubleO100 left the game.
“Unfortunately, didn’t win it for Bdubs. But uh, he didn’t win it for me either. Just kidding, Bdubs. I love you.”