Chapter Text
There were many things Antoine loved about the stage. The lights, the velvet curtains, the acoustics, everything.
None of those things were enough to ease his mind from what he was about to do tonight.
He knew he hadn’t been the greatest to anyone at East High, much less Big Red. Most of that was Lily’s plan, sure, but none of it excused all the flirting he did with Ashlyn, knowing full well Big Red was dating her. He figured back then that if he could just go after Red’s girl, he could fully hide how he was feeling. Maybe forever.
But there wasn’t any hiding that he could do tonight. He wanted to be fully vulnerable to Red. He felt naked.
Nervously, he checked his body in the mirror, and sighed a breath of relief when he realized he wasn’t *actually* naked.
The great thing about being a method actor is that no one was able to tell how incredibly nervous he was to talk to Big Red again. After the Frozen documentary trailer revealed that Big Red was bi, Antoine figured that he would actually have a chance with him. Granted, he still didn’t know if Big Red was still dating Ashlyn, but he was willing to take this chance. And he was going to do it right this time.
The worst thing about being a method actor is that no one could tell how you were actually feeling.
He checked his hair for the third time today. It was still clean, just like how he styled it this morning. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves.
“This is just going to be like all those times I went on stage,” he told himself.
Except, he knew it wasn’t going to be like that. On stage, he couldn’t see any of the audience or their faces. That was the best part. He couldn’t tell if anyone was judging him or thinking he was weird. He could just perform. But when he goes up to Big Red, he’ll be able to see all of him. All of that silly beauty. He didn’t know if he could take it, but he needed to take this chance. If he didn’t, he didn’t know when his next chance would be.
The feelings ate him up inside, but he pushed through it.
He grabbed his pain au chocolat and made his way over to the homecoming gym, where they were performing High School Musical 3. A little unconventional, but he appreciated that. It seemed a lot more authentic to him than the stage.
He nervously asked around to see if maybe Big Red was in the audience. Or, if anything, he knew Ashlyn was here. Maybe he could explain himself to Red’s girlfriend. At least then he would have his feelings out in the open. He didn’t need them to be reciprocated.
He put on his best French accent. “Is this the way to get to backstage?”
One of the band members nervously pointed in the general direction of backstage.
“Do not tell anyone I was here. I have a bad enough reputation with the police as it is.”
He dashed towards backstage, not letting anyone else stop him. He needed to know where Big Red was.
He heard a familiar voice behind him.
“Excuse me? Can I help you?”
Andy’s mind blanked. He did not know what to say. Years of life on stage could not have prepared him for this moment. His mind raced to find the words, but all he could fall back on was his method acting. It was a force of habit.
Looking back, he really wished he hadn’t.
“Ah, I remember you! The funny man who could never control his limbs like this. Ahhh!”
Strike one. He already regretted this, but he couldn’t just turn back now.
“There’s a show going on,” Big Red said angrily. “Do you even have a ticket?”
Andy should’ve confessed here, but he felt out of control of his own self. It was as if he was being possessed by a French ghost. Being mean to Big Red was all he could fall back on now.
“Ticket. No, no ticket. I just have these fingers I found.”
Antoine raised up his middle finger. Strike two. He already felt his chances slipping away.
“And I think it’s time for you to go.” Big Red gestured towards the exit. Andy really wanted to leave already; he had made enough of a fool of himself tonight. But he wasn’t going to give up his mission. The pain au chocolat. For Red.
“I just came here to drop off this pain au chocolat for Ashlyn to say that I am apologize for last year when I distract her with my masculine charm.”
Strike three. He knew all of this was lies. He knew he was lying about who the pain au chocolat was for. He knew he should’ve been telling the truth. But he was scared that Big Red wouldn’t accept the truth. He was scared of Big Red seeing him for who he actually is.
He was scared of being vulnerable for the first time in forever.
“Ashlyn is doing great, actually.”
“I heard my name,” Ashlyn said, peeking her head out of the curtains. “Wait a minute… Antoine.”