Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Neku walks around the Scramble just enjoying the feel of the air and other people besides just souls of the dead and himself. He missed it but at the same time, it’s weird. He was alone for so long that to be around people again is a little overwhelming. Like he’s not even in the center of the Scramble but he can still feel the presence of everyone there. Just imagine what is like in the center, surrounded by living, breathing people. 

He takes a deep breath to steady himself and heads into the Scramble properly. Just keep breathing, you can do this, he reminds himself as he joins the flow of traffic heading to Justice Burger where he plans to meet with Beat and Shiki. People are bumping into him and oh this feels weird why did he do this. Why is everyone so close?

Just has to hold hold on until he reaches Bear and Shiki, he’s almost there, he can do it. Just a little more. 

Why is being around people so overwhelming? All the noise and textures is just creating static in his head. It’s way too much for him to handle especially after Shinjuku and the isolation that it was. 

He can barely think, just heading though the Scramble on gut instinct and the feeling that Shibuya won’t lead him wrong. It can’t, Shibuya is his home, in a way he can’t explain but he can feel it in his bones, in his very soul.  

He fumbles out of the Scramble and seems to end up at Justice Burger but his head is still fog and static and he’s not particularly sure of anything right now. There’s a shape heading towards him that he’s pretty sure is Beat but he can’t think clearly enough or even focus enough to know for sure. 

Why did he get overwhelmed like that? He knows that he has problems sometimes with people close to him but never like that. But deep down, he does know why if he refuses to bring it up to anyone. Everyone is happy with him being back. There’s no need to tell everyone of his new inability to be around people that close. How can he explain it? 

Yeah, hi. You know those three years in Shinjuku? Well as it turns out, he can’t be close to people anymore or around loud noises because there was no one alive in Shinjuku and it was silent. Like that would go over well with anyone except maybe Joshua though Neku is pretty sure that he knows anymore. Thanks to Composer bullshit. 

He feels more back in his body, not as detached as before and there’s hands on his shoulders and oh those are Beat’s hands. Those are some strong and reassuring hands and would it be weird if he asked Beat to hold him with those hands. 

Beat pulls him close to his chest and Neku thinks he’s saying something but really all he can focus is how nice the vibrations feel. Nice and reassuring and strong. 

He feels another pair of hands grab his, these ones smaller, perhaps more fragile but just as strong. Reassuring and squeezing with the promise that everything will be alright and he can’t help but release a shaky breath and gently squeeze Shiki’s hands. 

“You back with us Phones? Gave us a real scare there.” Beat is still holding him and it’s nice and safe and he doesn’t have to worry and really he wishes that he could just stay here forever. He sounds so worried for Neku and honestly Neku really appreciates that. Makes him feel wanted and not alone. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” He really wishes that his voice could have stayed steady instead of sounding so shaky which is definitely not convincing them that he’s alright. Very much hoping that neither of them pushes because while he loves both of them and would gladly fight the world if it meant that they were with him, he doesn’t want to explain everything that happened in Shinjuku. 

That information stays between him, himself, and possibly Joshua depending on if Joshua gets that stick out of his ass and comes down to see him again.

Maybe Sho and Coco as well if Neku can find them. They would understand in a way that the others wouldn’t be able to but he doesn’t know where they are. He’s pretty sure that Coco went back to Shinjuku with Tsugumi but he doesn’t have the slightest clue on where Sho went.

“Do you want me to order or do you think you can do it?” Shiki asks softly from her position by his side and he knows that he should insist that he’s fine, that he can order by himself, but he doesn’t have to. He has his partners if he ever needs to lean on someone else for help. He trusts them completely, even Joshua. 

And right now, he thinks that ordering is a bit more than he can do. It’s ok to ask for help sometimes, he’s not in Shinjuku at the end where the only other person is Joshua who might not even help him because it would be work. 

This is Beat and Shiki, two people that would do anything for him. And he would do anything for his partners, even Joshua. They’re all like that, willing to drop everything if it means that they can help each other. He’s in Shibuya not Shinjuku. He’s by them again.

“Could you order for me?” He asks Shiki softly and carefully like he’s entering a battlefield of noise but it’s just a conversation with his partner, why is he getting social anxiety from this.

“Of course, one burger and drink alright?” She asks before joining the line and Neku just really loves her so much. She doesn’t need to ask him what he wants, regrettably he tends to get the same thing every time but it’s such a sweet and loving gesture and it fills him up with such happiness. 

Beat pulls him away, holding his hand all the while, to find a table while Shiki orders for the both of them. While the seats are a little far apart, being a table for four originally, it works for them. With Neku sitting in the middle, both Shiki and Beat can still hold his hands which makes him so happy. 

Why is he now craving human contact when earlier he was overwhelmed? Brain and body please decide what you want from him, please and thank you. He really wants to curl up in a ball with those hands holding him. Why are they so strong but gentle, kind, caring? Why does he crave this so much?

Did he miss them that much?

Shiki walks up to them with a number for their table and she places it down on the table before sitting down on Neku’s other side so that he’s in the middle with Beat on his left and Shiki on his right. Right in the middle and he feels safe right there. He’s not alone and he can reach out and hold their hands to remind him of that. 

“So how you doing Phones,” Beat starts awkwardly, “with everything?” He knows that both of them mean well. That they think maybe he’s just dealing with the same adjustment when all three of them returned from the RG the first time and not the three year adjustment of going from complete and utter lack of human contact to once again dealing with people with no warning. 

Like it’s more than a minor adjustment, it’s a whole life change. They all thought that 3 weeks was bad but they were around other people and they had each other. He was alone; trapped in a hell of loneliness and isolation. That kind of shit messes people up or so he hears. 

He can’t bring any of this up; he doesn’t want to be thought of as broken and useless. None of this is going to be brought up ever; he’s the one who’s supposed to have everything together. 

And technically, he wasn’t alone. He had Sho until Sho figured out how to leave and Coco occasionally visited them. He wasn’t alone, he wasn’t. 

There’s no excuse for his problems now. There isn’t.

“Been doing fine. Just a bit of an adjustment.” He tries to sound as unbothered about it as he can. But he can hear his voice shaking and he really wishes and hopes that they don’t press. Neither of them are the type of people to do so but he has to hope that they don’t press. 

“Number 16?” The person with the orders calls out and he glances at their number and yep it’s theirs. They stand up to get their trays of food and carry them back to their table. 

He mindlessly opens up his burger and takes a bite and oh it’s his favorite one. Shiki ordered the right one for him and he’s so happy and this might just be the best burger he’s ever eaten. He savors the burger slowly and carefully, he’s still not fully used to having food again; there wasn’t much left in Shinjuku besides what he could get from vending machines.

All conversation slows down to a halt as they sit and enjoy their food. This is so much better than earlier; he can feel other people’s presences but it’s not overwhelming unlike before. It’s quiet and welcoming, reassuring but not dominating. 

Beat devours his food the same way that Neku does, that of people who are trying to enjoy living; of those who learned what life means. He’s trying to enjoy the burger, not force it down quickly, but savor it properly. Old habits die hard and it’s hard not to be in fight or flighty response even a month later and he’s having to remember that there is no noise here. Just regular RG stuff, nothing UG-related. 

And it’s that statement that he’s having problems with. He knows that he wanted to be back in the RG, hell it was what he fought for, but it doesn’t feel right. He feels like his being is trying to explain the glass jar that is his body. He feels trapped, for lack of a better sentence to explain how uncomfortable he is right now in his own body.

He idly realizes that he finished his burger and that is a problem. That he isn’t able to stay focused on the present and keeps wandering into his own mind. It’s a habit picked from Shinjuku and obviously he hasn’t spent enough time around other people to drop it but if he does spend time around other people he gets overwhelmed. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Part of him wishes that he was back in Shinjuku though he knows that it is wrong. He understood how Shinjuku worked and he knows how to fight the noise instead of dealing with whatever is wrong with him now. But that isn’t normal. 

He grabs the drink, starts drinking it, and realizes that it is cola. His usual. Shiki really did remember everything. 

“So, uh, Phones? What you doing after this?” Beat finishes his food and in usual Beat fashion ends up asking what everyone else is going to be doing. 

“Not really sure. Probably just going to try to rest before trying to figure out what’s going on with art school.” There is an acceptance letter to an art school in Tokyo  sitting on his desk at his house but he doesn’t want to deal with it right now. He didn’t apply to art school but he woke up to it and right now he’s trying to avoid a mental health breakdown again today.

 He wishes that he could just ask Joshua, hell he wishes that Joshua would show up again, but that’s not going to happen. Joshua did something when he brought Neku back, to fit him back into the RG but he feels wrong. 

Beat’s phone suddenly gets a text just as Shiki is about to speak. 

“Ah sorry yo. Boss needs me back at work.” Beat sounds extremely apologetic and Neku really does wish that Beat didn’t have to leave, but that’s life. 

“Well, it was nice to see you when we still can.” Shiki doesn’t sound angry either and he can see how relieved Beat looks at the fact that neither of them sound angry. “Just be careful.” 

“What she said.” Neku adds looking straight at Beat. 

“I’m always careful.” Beat tried to argue but it’s playful and none is upset and angry. Just friends and partners joking around with each other. “See ya again soon?”

“Of course.” Shiki responds immediately and it’s so genuine and heartfelt that Neku  just feels his heart melt with love and affection. 

“Of course, we’ll see each other soon.” Neku responds, trying to be convincing and steady. 

Beat just smiles before getting up and leaving Justice Burger. Neku feels himself smiling back instinctively; Beat just has the effect on people. 

“I should probably start heading back, I promised Eri I would pick up some supplies. See you later?” Shiki asks as if it’s not a guarantee they’ll see each other sometime soon. 

“Of course.” Neku replies, trying to be reassuring and soothing. 

Shiki smiles before getting up and leaving. The smile on his face falls and he’s got to figure out what he should be doing. He knows that he said that he would be checking on that acceptance letter sitting on his desk at home but he doesn’t want to. 

It’s a reminder of a life that isn’t his, a life that the Neku whose life was stolen from him by Joshua for this Neku. It’s not his. He doesn’t want it. 

He knows that he should. That it’s part of a regular life in the RG but he hasn’t had to consider life in the RG in so long. It was always a fever dream, a vague hope for the future, not something he actually thought about. 

He just wants things to make sense, to go back to how they used to be. 

Neku realizes that he’s now standing outside of Justice Burger but he doesn’t know how he got there. It’s just blank. And he’s not going to worry about it. He’s not going to panic over it.

He’s not. He’s not. Just going to focus on something else. 

Like that acceptance letter. 

So if he doesn’t want to go home and deal with that problem awaiting him, he could always head to Udagawa. And so his feet carry him in the direction of Udagawa where things hopefully make sense. 

Chapter Text

He walks along the winding roads of Shibuya to the Backstreets and to Udagawa proper. The mural awaits him at the end of his long run and there it is. Like it always has been. It’s home in a way that he struggles to describe.

It’s like a safe place, a place to hide if he need to, and a place where it feels like he belongs.

For him, CAT’s art and the art of newer artists is always inspiring. Especially the newer artists. Their work is a testament to Shibuya, of the creative energy here. 

He does really want to join them someday, he always dabbled in art and drawing since he was young, but he doesn’t fit. All these artists probably studied professionally and what does he have?

3 years in an inverted city and trying not to lose his mind or forget anything and just trying to be human in an inhuman experience. Just trying to exist and live in a place he shouldn’t exist or live in.

Neku for how much he lies to himself about everything, isn’t really human anymore. And he knows that. He feels like a shell in human shape, like a monster trying to be human. 

But CAT isn’t human either. And look how popular his work is. He’s Mr. H, an Angel and the former(?) Producer of Shibuya. But it’s probably because of that, that his work is so popular. 

Or at least it used to be. But Rindo or Fret didn’t seem to recognize the name CAT when he tried talking about it with them. 

Nagi did though, and she said that since CAT disappeared, there was a new artist taking his place and Rindo and Fret confirmed that.

So maybe that’s not why CAT’s work was popular. 

Maybe it was popular due to what it represented. But then if it was due to that, then maybe it should have remained at least somewhat popular. Not fall into obscurity.

It’s odd and bizarre.

But even without worrying about trying to be an artist, he has other problems. Like worrying about if he is even human anymore. And trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life.

Normal people couldn’t live though Shinjuku. And for all he pretends, for how much he tries to fake it, he can’t be normal. 

But Neku tries to be human, to be normal. He tries to remember what it’s like; the feeling of belonging and the bonds made though painful memories. Of just being with other people and not isolated and alone. 

Maybe that’s what separates him from the higher beings. He wants to be human. He just wants to be normal.

So very badly. 

He wants to fit in, to feel like he belongs. It’s the only thing he wanted when he was in Shinjuku.

But how can he when all he remembers from the last three years was the isolation and the imprints of the souls of Shinjuku. Literal ghosts were haunting him and he was stuck. 

Trapped. 

Like a bug in a cage. 

Joshua was the one to put him there but Neku only saw him twice throughout the whole ordeal. But he missed him so much and those two times really made him happy. 

That it showed that his memories were really and not lies. That Joshua was watching over him. That he wasn’t alone after Minamimoto left and when Coco was gone.

Why does he miss him so much? Why was he so happy to see him again? Why does he care about Joshua?

He knows why he missed Shiki, Beat, Rhyme and even Eri. They’re all dear friends or people he likes to spend time with. They are genuinely nice people to be around.

But his relationship with Joshua isn’t like that. Joshua, himself, isn’t like that.

Joshua is an asshole, has killed him twice, and is generally not a very pleasant person to be around. 

But they understand each other. Of not feeling wanted and not wanting to live or not caring to. Because they thought that the world meant nothing.

But Joshua was the one who pulled Neku out of his self-inflicted isolation. 

He feels almost grateful to Joshua for that. He knows that he was so miserable and just generally a very angry and unpleasant person to be around. 

If it isn’t for Joshua, he would still be like that. Just that angry, bitter, and tired person. He didn’t care about anything at that point, about his own life, about school, or about his future. 

And it’s not like anyone cared about him. After his friend died, all he had was himself and the memories. And now he didn’t even have the memories anymore. 

So he came here, to the mural, to Udagawa because his friend did and to keep his memory alive. But in the end, no matter hard he tried, he lost those memories to Shinjuku. 

Just another causality of the ruins. 

And of course it was here at the mural where Joshua killed him and where his life started to change for the better. 

While he still appreciates the mural and what it stands for, he doesn’t need it like he used to. He’s grown from that kid who used to stare at it for hours, just lonely and bitter.

But the mural is still important to him. It’s the last place he saw Joshua after all.And he used to go here regularly for years.

While he didn’t really look at the mural last time he does want to today so he walks a little further down, checking out new additions to the mural. Most of them are small delicate little tags, not really covering CAT’s original work and then there’s the big addition at the end. 

Two giant white angel-like humans surrounding a pair of headphones like his. He knows that it’s CAT’s work; there’s no one else who would understand why this one exists. 

He knows that it appeared after he came back to the RG. While he hasn’t seen or heard anything from Mr. H, he knows that he’s still around. That new mural is proof.

And it’s about him and Joshua. And presumably about how they stopped Shibuya from being destroyed. 

It feels weird for lack of a better word. Everything surrounding the mural. Well everything surrounding CAT’s work and not the full mural.

And if he’s being honest with himself, everything surrounding CAT’s work in general. It gives off a weird feeling almost like an imprinting. 

But that’s impossible, right? Imprinting can’t be done without a Player Pin. 

He’s probably just tired and there’s nothing. Why would there be something? His brain is just playing tricks on him. 

Like he thought it was in Shinjuku. With his memories.

He should probably just go home and rest. But then if he does go home, he’ll be forced to deal with that acceptance letter from art school. 

Decisions, decisions, decisions. 

Well there’s a third option. 

What if he goes to see if WildKat is open? It’s not home, and it’s not the mural which for some reason isn’t being the usual comforting presence it is. 

And maybe he could see Joshua again. But he does know that, that is unlikely. One could say, it’s a zeptogram; low but not zero. 

And it’s not like he’s going to find him by staying here. So he might as well go over to WildKat and it’s not too far. And of course if WildKat is open, Mr. H would be there

So he decides to head to WildKat and he starts walking over to there and then the world glitches.

It’s not clear and his head hurts and he’s not really sure of anything. But he thinks that he just saw walls like in the Game and noise and is that a Taboo Noise Refinery on the ground. 

It looks to be like one, the black designs are the same as the last time he saw one. But what’s it doing here?

Then as soon as it started, it stopped. The world goes back to normal. No walls, no Taboo Noise Refinery. 

What just happened? What caused that? 

Should he still go over to WildKat? If Mr. H is there, maybe he could help. 

But maybe he should just go home. Rest. Surely he’s just going crazy. That didn’t actually happen, did it? 

He needs sleep badly. So he might as well head home. There’s a bed and blanket awaiting him. He can just ignore the acceptance letter until tomorrow and rest, right?

He doesn’t want to cause a problem or cause his friends to worry about him. It’s his problem to deal with, not anyone else’s. 

And so he turns around and heads back home to his bed and that acceptance letter, even if he can’t think straight right now. Some rest will be good, right?

Chapter Text

He takes the long familiar route home not really paying attention and just staying on the sidewalk. He feels like he’s floating, like he’s not really there. It’s probably just the stress and the constant worrying about everything.

The light turns green and he crosses the street and turns into the apartment building. Inputting his key into the door and opening it reveals the honestly sad and pathetic apartment that he shares with his father. 

It’s dull and colorless and hasn’t changed at all since Neku can remember. Same old books on the shelves, same old kitchen as always. He turns to the right and enters his room. It’s mostly the same as he left it before Shinjuku happened thankfully. 

There’s some new pictures that make his head hurt whenever he looks at them. They’re from the three year period. He wishes that he could just get rid of them but they are part of his dearly beloved friends’ memories. But he can’t look at them or know what they are. Why is he the only one who can’t? 

And it happens whenever they mention anything from the three year period. He doesn’t want to bring it up, doesn’t know what will happen, and doesn’t understand what Joshua did so he could come back to the RG. But what he does understand is that the headaches that he gets whenever he hears anything about the three year period in Shibuya is because of what Joshua did.

As far as he can tell, the only one who seems to actually remember that Neku wasn’t here is Rhyme.

Moving away from the existence crisis that he can see coming, he glances over. And of course there’s the acceptance letter. Sitting on his desk. Staring at him. Judging him. 

It’s just a letter, why does it feel so weird? 

He wants to figure out why but he’s tired and he needs to rest. And honestly he does know why, but he doesn’t want to think about it. 

Thinking about the three years is never a good idea when he has to think about Shibuya and what Joshua did when he came back to the RG.

Normally he would actually get ready for bed, but he’s tired and not thinking clearly, so he just flops on top of his bed and closes his eyes. 

And then he opens them. 

In front of him is Shinjuku, as how it looked when he was there. Cracked and broken and hollow and lifeless. It feels uncomfortable especially after being back in Shibuya for a month and a half. 

Why is it still like this?

Didn’t the Shinjuku Reapers say they were going to try to rebuild their home? 

On top of the government building, there is a figure. Neku can’t see them but he can feel their presence. 

It’s powerful and oppressing. It doesn’t feel like Joshua so this must be Haz. Joshua’s presence isn’t that cold regardless of how much he likes to pretend otherwise. And his presence doesn’t cause the hair on the back of his neck to rise.

This is just a dream right?

It feels too real to be a dream. Far too real.

What’s going on?

And then something knocks him over and then he’s staring at the sky, at the cracked and broken and red sky. 

He really hates the sky here. Honestly, he just hates this place. It’s so wrong and he doesn’t want to think about his three years here.

He doesn’t.

The new presence briefly washes over him, and it’s Sho. He shouldn’t be surprised honestly. Sho is hard to forgot. And if this was a dream, nightmare, of Shinjuku then it makes sense that he is here.

But he doesn’t say anything. And it’s so quiet. Cities shouldn’t be this quiet. This empty.

Cities are centers of life and energy, not emptiness and solitude. 

He hears footsteps approaching him and that’s definitely Sho. There’s a hand reaching out for him and he wants to grab it. To reach it and touch it. To make sure that he doesn’t leave again like he did before. 

Why did he leave? What can’t he remember? 

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̷̲̤̜̱̿̈́͜ ̵͙̦̻̖̫̐̈͆̚ ̴̩̲̈́́̈́̏͑ ̷̫̰͎͕͎͚̼̯͖̓̍͠ ̶̢̢͕̭͖̌͐ ̷̡̛̖̳̭̱̹̐͛̋̊̐̏̈̔ ̷̡̡̗̘͇̩̤̲̈́͌̈́ ̵̛͉̼͉̭͇̮̯͔̲͋̾͋̓̉͗ ̷̨̨̛̰̫̦̻̗͖̓͠ ̵̣̜̮͉́̅̉̐ ̷̩̱͙̦̠͖̤̝͌͒͛̏͝ͅ ̷̞̟͂̉̒͌͂̓͌͘͝ ̴̡̮̬̱̰͍̺͉̼̉̐s̷̨̧̞̞̰̦̣͖̘̓̌̑i̵̡̝̞̼̠̺̖̖̻̾̏̉̔͒̏
̸̨̢̥̦͎̘̐̃̽̾̚̕͜͝ ̴̛̳̦̹̬͓͇͔͋ ̶̛̗̜̻̬̤͑͑̅̑͋ ̷͍͎̞̅͊̈͋̒ ̷͚̦̘̰̍̅͐͒͑̾̕ ̷̛̖̟̋͆̋͛ ̷̥̥̮̲̬͓̰͙̇̎̆̈́͗̊͋͂ ̴̲̞̱̠̗͕͈͎̌̉̈̀̂̚ͅ ̴̛̬̩̺̫͉ ̶̨̨̜̼͓̤̥̱̾͠ ̸̬̦͉̘̅ ̴̨͚͇͉̺̐ͅ ̴̟͓̖̫̳͑̎̍̌̈́̕͜ ̷͉͑͐͊̿̈̚ ̴̰̮̿͆̏̉͗͘͘͝͠ ̴̬̃̑̈́̈́̃͐̌͌̕ ̷̛̰̟͇̑̄̋̐̂̾́̒ ̵̡͍͓͎͙̟͛͝
̴̡̠̪͚̝̹̦̃̅̑̌̒͝ ̸̮̩͕̦͉̬̘̞͇̽́͗̓͛͝ ̸̡̧͎͎̫̪̬͋͗ ̵͎͝ ̷̢̰̰͍̥̜͊̒̈́͛̒̆̈́ ̷̤̺̼̝̽ ̴̢̨̰̰̞̩̌̈́̄̓͒͂̑̄͜͝ ̸͕̬̙̺̟̲͍͗͒̄̑̐̇͆̏͠ͅ ̸͔̤̙̘͓̗̳̙̽ͅ ̶̰̗̼͇̣͓̀́́͐ͅ ̶̡̬͎̹̟̞̈ ̶̢̡̹̼̯̯̓͂̀̓̌͜͠ ̶̯̘͈̗͇̞̏̈́̎̋̈ ̵̬̣̖̩͉͓̫̙̒̏̀̿̍̀̀̑̚ ̵͖̠̈́͌̀̐̄̋͌͝ ̶̼̭͙̖̟̰̥̤͊̿̊̎͋͠ ̴̧̙͈͉̖̘̪͕̝͆͝ ̶̧͔̭̭̦͍͒̊͂͗̒̿̕͠ ̴̥͚̠̔̓͆̂͂͠ ̸̨̮͎̬̬͓̰̃̌͋͑̃̕͠ ̶̯̠̩̬̣̯͚͆͘ņ̴̙̑̾͊̈́͝g̸͈̪̜̺͗͝ͅ ̶͎̥̺̘̠̰͑̔͗
̶̨͎͙̥̮̋͑͂͜ ̷̧̞̯͙̟̠̱̣̺̑͊͑ ̵͙́̎̀̌̈ ̷͉̠̄̓̒̑́̅̈́͝ ̸̰̭̥̦͇̪͆̅̊́̏͝ͅ ̵͍̤͈̫̲̉́̓̌?̷͓̗̖̇̽̕
̶̢͗͛͆̈́̄ ̴̹͓͇̞̹̀̐͐́̔͑͝ ̷̨̧̱͎̮̘͊̉̉̅̊̆̽ ̵̬̮̻͈̝̗̳̳̗̕͘ ̷̱̓͐ ̸̢̨͍͙̱͎̱̯̌̈́̐͐͆̍͜͠ ̴̼̭͍̉̔͐̒͛ ̷͕̯̳̥̖̤̆̀̐̈́̍̈́̉ͅ ̷̛̫̣̈́͐̆̈̓͛̒ ̷̡̨̛̺̼̪͕̺͇́̏̈́̃̋ͅ ̸͍̥̬̼̮̍̈̄̑̊͌͘ͅ ̴̧̡͎̰̯̺̬̦̦̾̏̽̓͗̚ ̷̢̤͉̰̰̈́ ̷͔̠̗̹̞̹̟̙̓͗͛̀̚ ̴̧͕̯̺̻̳̬̘͍̔̉̎̃̒ ̶̥̽̎́̉̔̽̒̕ ̷̧̝̟͇̪̙̼̜̔̓̈́̌̆̆͊ ̷͎̥̯͙͓͇̭͖̾̌̇͗̿͆͌̕͜ ̵͔̣͉̹͇̬̽̄̂͗͛́̚͜
                   
And then he wakes up on the floor.

Blankets spread out around him as he lies on his bedroom floor. 

What was that? 

A vision? 

Or something more?

That was one of the weirdest dreams he’s ever had. And he used to dream of finding his friend’s dead body back when he could  remember his name and face. 

Is this Joshua’s fault?

Or is it everything he’s ever done coming back to haunt him? 

It felt more like Tsugumi’s visions. But why?

Well perhaps he shouldn’t have taken that nap if he knew that was what was going to happen. He’s more tired now than he was before. 

Wonderful.  

He stands up and looks outside and it’s dark. Pitch black except the city lights are on and illuminating everything in sight since the stars aren’t visible here. 

Way too early for him to be up, but is it too late for him to go back to bed? 

It’s probably a good idea to check his phone for the time. 

He knows that his phone is still in his pocket from earlier so he fishes around in there and pulls it out. Then he presses the on button and ow it’s way too bright right now. 

There’s a brightness slider, and he tries to find it without opening his eyes too much. And then finally, after far too long, he can now look at his phone without squinting. 

The first thing that greets him is his lock scene picture of his friends and the Twisters, except Joshua, in front of 104. It makes him smile whenever he sees it and this time is no different. Just seeing his friends being together and happy and safe makes him happy. 

And the next thing that he checks is the time.

It’s currently 1:42 in the morning. Meaning it’s probably too late for him to go back to sleep. And too early for him to be up. 

Damn his terrible sleep schedule. 

First he doesn’t sleep for two days and then when he does sleep he collapses for almost 12 hours straight and has a very weird and disturbing dream. 

What the fuck. 

Why can’t he just sleep like a normal person instead of whatever the hell his sleep schedule is? 

Deep breaths Neku, deep breaths. 

Breathe. 

This isn’t worth getting mad at. 

Breathe.

He’s calm now. Shouldn’t have even gotten upset in the first place but things happen. As long as it doesn’t happen again, it’s alright. 

Don’t let the anger win. He is stronger than it.

Maybe he should go back to sleep. Hopefully it will quiet his mind. Give him a little more rest before tomorrow. 

Well first thing he’s got to do is put his blankets back on the bed. So he bends down, picks up the blankets, and dumps them down on the bed. 

He puts his phone down on the nightstand so he doesn’t lose it like he used to. And maybe he’ll sleep better if it’s not close to him. He can only hope that he will.

If it doesn’t go off, everything will be fine. It has to be. Right?

And with that he settles back into bed, pulls up the blanket over him, and closes his eyes in hopes of a decent sleep.

Chapter Text

He wakes up feeling oddly drained, but he didn’t have any dreams so that is a good thing. His phone is ringing so he reaches out to grab it off the nightstand and opens it. 

There’s a text in the group chat with everyone. 

And it’s from Fret, asking if anyone wants to go to Tower Records with him, Rindo, and Shoka. 

Neku doesn’t really want to go out but it’s probably a good idea to watch over them so they don’t get into too much trouble. 

He sends the text saying he’ll go with them and then he gets out of bed and goes about doing his stuff in the morning, putting his phone back down on the nightstand. 

By the time he returns, his phone has so many texts that he has to scroll back up to read them all.

It starts off with Fret asking where he wants to meet them, and then it devolves into an apparently accidentally sent meme and Fret freaking out about it. Then of course Rhyme is trying to comfort him as they usually do. 

Though thankfully Fret did send the time he wants to be there. He glances at the time and he should be able to be there in 15 minutes. 

He sends a quick text assuring Fret that it is alright and that he should be there on time before grabbing an apple from the kitchen. To make it on time, he’ll need to run from his apartment to Tower Records but it’s nothing he hasn’t done before.

The apple ends up thrown in the trash quickly enough and he heads out the door, locks it, and runs downstairs before heading out into Shibuya proper. 

He checks the time and he has 10 minutes to go to Tower Records. As he heads down the street and walks along the Shibuya Stream to go to the Crossing, he continues checking his phone. 

Seeing if anything else gets sent to the group chat, and of course there’s something else. 

A message from Shoka saying that someone else is going to be there but it doesn’t say who it is. And of course it also says that they are at Tower Records.

He picks up his pace upon reading that they are at Tower Records, trying not to run but he knows that they are waiting and he doesn’t want to be a bother so he needs to hurry up. 

Upon the reaching the Scramble, he heads to the right and reaches Tower Records. In front of him are them and it’s good to see Shoka again. Honestly it’s good to see all of them again, Neku has been busy the last couple of weeks trying to figure out the life Joshua dropped him in. 

Fret’s wearing something that he doesn’t recall seeing him in before, maybe some type of new fashions trend? He’s not particularly up to date on new fashion trends even if he does spent time with Shiki regularly.

Thankfully both Shoka and Rindo are dressed in their usual outfits, which makes sense. Neither of them really follows the Shibuyan fashion trends and Neku has never been so grateful than somebody else doesn’t understand fashion trends. 

Oh Shiki and Rhyme have tried but he doesn’t really get it. 

“Hey.” Neku says as he approaches the three and Fret nearly seems to jump out of his skin. Maybe he shouldn’t have approached them so quietly but what is done is done.

“Uh, hey Neku.” Fret recovers quickly from his scare and he seems to be in good spirits. “Thanks for agreeing to come.” 

“It’s no problem.” He insists. Rindo seems to be nervously checking his phone and Shoka seems bored but watchful. “Are we expecting someone else?” Like the message said, he implies to Shoka. 

“Tsugumi said she would try to come but haven’t heard from her in a while.” Shoka answers. Ah. That explains Rindo and Fret’s nervousness. 

“It’s just that she’s a Shinjuku Reaper and.” Rindo trials off. He understands. If he talked to himself three years ago, he would have thought that the idea of meeting up with Reapers insane. But-

“Well everything I’ve heard about her is nice.” He offers, trying to soothe Rindo. And it’s true. Everything that Coco said about her was nice. And the brief conversation they had at the end of the Shinjuku Game seems to prove what Coco said about her. 

And he does trust Coco. Beat and Shiki may not like it but he does trust her. And Tsugumi is someone that Coco cares deeply about so he trusts her as well. 

“Yeah and Tsugumi never really did anything.” Shoka backs him up. And Shoka would know better than he does. They were coworkers and spent time together.

“Hello.” And Tsugumi has arrived and both Fret and Rindo seem to be very nervous and unsure about her. 

“Uh, hey.” Fret says as his voice wavers a bit. 

“Hey, Tsugumi.” Shoka says as she takes over talking for the group. “How is everything going back in Shinjuku?” 

“Rebuilding is nearly done. Shiba and Hishima are getting along again and we are nearly ready to reestablish Shinjuku again. If nothing goes wrong.” Tsugumi adds in her usual monotone tone but he can tell how nervous she is. Her voice shakes and goes even quieter than it usually and remembering everything that Coco said about her, seems to confirm that she is nervous.

He’s glad to hear that everything is going well. After everything that happened, the Shinjuku Reapers need something going well. 

And if everything goes well, soon Shinjuku will be back and they can go back to doing their jobs. And hopefully, this doesn’t happen again.

“That’s good to hear.” Neku says and he does genuinely mean it. It’s wonderful to hear. That Shinjuku might be able to be brought back from the abyss and hollow place that it was before. 

“Yeah, it is.” Shoka agrees, “But that isn’t why I wanted you to come with us.” 

“Oh?” Tsugumi grabs her hands like she wants to hold something and it is only now that Neku realizes that she doesn’t have Mr. Mew.

“Well, you mentioned liking Def Märch and they have a new album out so I figured you would like to go get it yourself.” Oh, that’s nice. 

She’s trying to help a friend. That’s really sweet actually. And it’s something Tsugumi would enjoy if Neku is remembering his conversations with Coco correctly.

“That would be nice. Thank you.” She seems genuinely happy about this and he is glad that despite everything that happened with Shinjuku, that she is doing alright. That the Reapers seem to be doing alright. 

They start heading over to Tower Records and the path they take is one he used to take regularly before the Game happened.

It’s sort of nostalgic in a way though he’s loathe to admit that about anything before the Game. He doesn’t like to think about that period of his life, of when he lived, but didn’t really live. 

Bad thoughts, self. Bad thoughts. Don’t think about those. Focus on the here and now. Focus on Shibuya, on the energy here.

He’s with friends. He’s out and about. He’s trying to live, to enjoy life. 

He is not the miserable 15 year old who didn’t care about anything. 

And he won’t be like that again.

They reach the entrance of Tower Records and step inside. It’s set up the same as he remembers only with different artists and albums. 

Shoka heads to a specific wall and the rest of them follow suit. As he looks at the wall, he realizes that this must be the wall of older artists since he recognizes most of the artists even if the albums are new. 

Tsugumi and Shoka start shifting though one of the stacks looking for the album while the rest of them just browse. It’s been a while for him since he was here and honestly he just wants to see what’s new.

Any new artists or new albums from artists that he used to follow before everything happened. 

So he walks a little further away from them to give them space and to check everything out.

Maybe he should ask someone for help. It’s kind of overwhelming seeing everything in front of him all at once. 

But he doesn’t really want to bother Rindo and the others. It was bad enough trying to get caught up on modern technology and what phones can do these days. 

He doesn’t need a repeat of it but with new music.

Maybe he and Beat can make a day out of it if he wants to. But for now, he can look by himself. It’s nice anyways, just seeing all the colorful album covers against the yellow walls. 

He picks up an album and it still feels the same as it used to. It’s still the vinyl album covers that he used to save up money for. Def Märch the album reads in blue text over a background of a cityscape. Oh, this must be the album Shoka and Tsugumi are looking for. 

He should go tell them so he turns back around to see where everyone else is. And everyone is on opposite sides of the shop. 

Shoka and Tsugumi are still where they were when they all separated but Fret somehow is by the farthest wall with Rindo, talking animatedly about something. 

He decides to head back to Shoka and Tsugumi, figuring that since they are the ones who wanted the album in the first place and he really doesn’t want to get involved in whatever Fret and Rindo are talking about. 

“Is this the album you are looking for?” He asks as soon as he walks within hearing range and he hands the album over to Shoka.

“Yeah, it is.” Shoka confirms. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” And he walks back to the wall he was at to see if there was any more interesting albums. 

As he walks back, he can heard them discussing the album and maybe he’ll have to listen to it at some point, based on what he can hear from them talking about it. 

He continues looking though the albums, leafing though them, and enjoying the feel of the vinyl covers. And then he feels someone poking him and he turns around to see Fret and Rindo. 

“Is something wrong?” He asks, taking in their nervous expressions and the fact that Fret seems to be fiddling with some bracelets on his arm. 

“Ah, no. Shoka said we are going to the cashier now so if you want to buy anything.” Rindo says as he walks side-by-side with them to the cashier where Shoka and Tsugumi are waiting for them. 

“Is anyone else buying anything?” Tsugumi  asks as she picks the album down on the counter. 

“Nah, we’re not. But I don’t know about Neku.” Thank you Fret for letting him talk. Though, he’s honestly surprised that Fret and Rindo aren’t buying anything. He figured that at least Fret would buy something. 

Well it’s not his problem so he isn’t going to worry about it now.

“I’m not buying anything either.” He confirms and Tsugumi hands over 1,500 yen to the cashier for the album and they head out of Tower Records and back onto the sidewalk.

“So does anyone else want to go get lunch or is it just me?” Well lunch would be a good idea since all he ate for breakfast was an apple. But that letter…

“Well I got to take Tsugumi back.” So it’s not going to be a group lunch.

“Shiba is expecting me back in Shinjuku soon.” Honestly, he expected this. Shinjuku’s restoration is very important. Actually, he’s still surprised he let Tsugumi actually leave but maybe he’s trying to make up for what he did during the Shinjuku Game. 

“I’ll come with you to lunch. Not like I have anything  better to do anyways.” 

“Great! So you coming Neku?” 

“Sure. I’ll be there.” Not like he has anything better to do. Just doesn’t need to think about that letter. 

“Great. See you losers later.” And Shoka heads left back to Shinjuku with Tsugumi. So now just he, Rindo, Fret are left. 

“So where are we headed?” He honestly doesn’t really care where they go but knowing Fret he probably has a specific place in mind.

“I was thinking of Curry Don if that’s good with everyone else?” Oh, he hasn’t been there in a while. And the curry there is wonderful just like the ramen was.

“It’s fine with me if Neku is fine with it.” At least Rindo seems to be more decisive now than he apparently was before and well he does want Curry Don.

“I’m good with it.” He confirms. 
 
And so they head back to the Scramble. It’s a bit of a long walk from Tower Records to Dogenzaka especially with the hill but it will be worth it.

They make it to the light and of course they have to wait at the light and finally it turns green and they can walk across and turn onto Dogenzaka. Then they have to head up the hill and finally, finally, they walk inside of Curry Don.