Chapter Text
It's ten hours later when Henry finally listens to the voicemails from Alex.
"Good morning you." Alex's voice says sleepily into the speaker. "Where'd you go? Oh I know, you're at the lake. You should have woken me up I'd have come too. Anyways, I'm gonna hop in the shower. Don't drown down there, Wales. Imagine the scandal."
Alex's voice disappears and is replaced by the automated message service telling him he's about to hear his next message.
"Baby." Alex's voice sounds like he's trying to sound calm but Henry hears a note of desperation hidden in it. "I know I made a joke about you drowning... but uh..." Henry hears heavy footsteps in the background "uh- I'm down at the lake and I don't see you... anywhere - call me."
The guilt is suddenly overwhelming. Why didn't he leave a note. Any kind of explanation? He's such a fucking coward.
"... why aren't you answering? Call me. I'm going back to the house to ask Dad if he's seen you. Call me back, asshole." Alex sounds a little breathless as if he'd been jogging around the property and surrounding land.
He imagines Oscar Diaz's face when he realises that the Royal git he's invited into his family so openly these past few days has run out on his son. Shame spirals through Henry's body. Being around Oscar these past days has given Henry something he desperately needed. He hadn't even really considered the others. He wondered if Nora and Pez would work it out fast, that he'd done a runner.
The next message breaks him.
"... you left. I..." there's a good few seconds of Alex's breath catching and him sounding like he was going to speak again but then the line goes dead. He images Alex realising, running to their room and checking the empty closet.
"Fuck, fuck. Fuck!" Henry hisses as he sits on the edge of his bed. He screws his eyes shut but it's too late, the tears are breaking through.
The next message begins and Henry's shocked to hear it's Pez, not Alex.
"Henry, what the actual fuck, mate? You left without a word! Call me you arsehole. What happened? I don't have an excuse for this. They're all really quiet. Alex looks broken. I feel like shit."
The next message is Percy again.
"I can't believe you. I'm honestly speechless. Well... actually I'm not. Look, Henry. You're my best mate but this isn't something I'm just going to excuse. I feel terrible, I'm left here with these lovely people and the atmosphere is fucking horrible. Oscar is quiet, Nora... god Nora. You forget how much this girl means to me! You've gone and broken her best mates heart and I'm sorry for the reality check and I know you maybe had your reasons to leave but you need to hear this.... Alex hasn't said a word in hours. He's just crying. Silently. Nora's tried to get him to talk, but he's distraught. I'm organising a flight to the white house. I'm going with them. I'll talk to you in a few days."
Henry wants to smash his phone against the wall but resists because the automated voice tells him he's no further voicemails. He sobs as he hangs up. What has he done? He's let everyone down. He's a wretched little cretin who deserves the burning pain in his gut, the racing heart. He deserves so much worse.
He then decides to torture himself more by reading his messages.
Alex: I'm worried sick. Please answer your damn phone.
Pez: yo, where are you? Alex says he can't find you. If you went out for breakfast without us you're dead to me.
Nora: hi. Please return one call or even one message. This isn't fair.
His phone starts to vibrate in his hand and Henry throws it across the bed in shock. He knows it's Alex. He can't bare to answer it so he lets it ring out.
He paces his bedroom. Even Pez hates him. He's never felt so alone. He jumps in his skin when his phone vibrates again.
He picks it up and swipes away Alex's missed call. This one was a text.
Alex: Henry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Whatever I did... or said. God I'm such an idiot. When did I ever learn to shut the fuck up? Look, I know I did something wrong, just please tell me. I'm going crazy here. I've just landed, can you please call me back? Have I hurt you? Mentally or...or physically... I know last night was a lot rougher than we usually do it, if I've hurt you or went too far please tell me. This is killing me. I need you.
"Alex." Henry gulps as he reads the ending. Oh fuck, he was evil. Alex is wondering if he hurt him... it was Henry's own desperate state that had initiated the fucking. He'd woken Alex with shoulder kisses in the early hours, desperate to feel Alex one last time. He'd begged for Alex to go harder, deeper, faster as his face was crushed into the pillow. He wanted to feel the pain for as long as he could as a reminder. It was sick and twisted. He needed to have Alex one last time and for it not to be romantic or loving in any way because Henry knew he'd not be able to leave otherwise and his mind had been made up.
Now Alex thought he'd possibly gone too far.
Henry rushes to his private bathroom and throws up.
"I'm sorry." Alex texts at 5am.
"Are you seriously not going to talk to me?" He texts at 9am.
Henry had only drifted off short term during the night, more from exhausted tears than his real need to sleep. His pillows had been sprayed with Santal 33, Shaan had been sent shopping for him months ago. Henry hugged his pillows and inhaled Alex's scent when he was missing him. This night he wasn't sure if the scent helped him or felt like torture.
He takes a bath when he finally rises. Delaying seeing Bea and having to explain himself.
He sinks under the water surface and images that he did drown in the lake.
By late lunchtime Henry has blocked Alex's number. That lasts all of ten minutes before he has a mild panic attack and quickly unblocks his contact. He both dreads it everytime Alex's name appears on his screen as much as he desperately craves it.
He wants Alex to get bored of him but also the cold truth that when he finally does stop calling and texting Henry will be forever broken.
Bea is annoyingly on his side when they take a walk together. She's kind to him and Henry almost wishes she'd hate him too.
"Let him know you're alive." Pez messages him the following day. Henry is both anxious and relieved that his best mate is still talking to him.
"Are you with Alex now?" Henry texts back.
"No. I'm boarding my flight home. I'll see you soon. You better be ready to talk." Comes the reply.
"Please don't contact him. I promise I'll explain." Henry texts back but it's not delivered. Percy must be in the clouds.
Pez can't even be angry at him when he walks into Henry's private quarters because he sees Henry is a mess.
"What the fuck, Hen?" Pez says as he drops his bag on the floor, he ignores David's greetings and goes right to Henry's bed and sits on the edge.
"Is he alright?" Henry asks, his eyes are red raw and burning.
"You know he's not." Pez says gently.
Henry nods and sniffs.
"Come here you idiot." Henry leans into Percy's embrace. He really needed some comfort and David was getting tired of the constant cuddles.
"Tell me everything." Pez says. So Henry does. He tells him that Alex loves him. He tells him how he reacted when he felt Alex's fingers delicately traced "I heart y-" onto his bare back before he could even get the physical words out. He tells him how he dove into the lake and swam away. How he'd climbed into their bed and pretended to be asleep when Alex had returned. He told him how he'd lain in the dark listening to Alex fall asleep and planned his escape, and he even told him how he'd had Alex one last time before he'd left.
"I almost understand." Percy said from across the bed.
Henry makes a noise to indicate he wants to hear more.
"Well, I said almost. What I don't get is why you are even remotely surprised that Alex is in love with you? Surely you must have known before now, mate? It's pretty fucking obvious. He hangs on every word you speak, he does that goofy smile everytime he looks at you...jesus, he even feins interest in sail boats when you start jabbering on about them."
Henry holds up a hand to stop him. He doesn't want to hear that part.
"I guess I sort of had an idea." Henry admits, and he throws himself flat into the pillow in frustration, Santal 33 wafting to his nose and adding to the drama. "There'd be these moments... and I'd think maybe he could love me but I always quashed those thoughts down because I know it can never, ever happen."
"It's already happened, mate." Pez says.
"Give it two weeks. He'll get bored. He'll find a new girl, or a guy." The thought makes Henry hurt. "He'll have the freedom that he deserves. The freedom that still protects the presidency. Now that he's accepted who he is he'll have so many opportunities that he won't even remember my name."
"Shut the fuck up." Pez says "Alex is never going to give you up. You have to know that?"
"I can't believe that!" Henry snaps.
"Believe it." Pez snaps back.
They sit in an uncomfortable silence for a moment.
"Get up and get a shower." Pez orders "we're going out."
"Where?" Henry asks. He doesn't want to move.
"Tennis? Golf? I'll ever try polo. Let's do something that involves you hitting something with a bat. You need the release. Okay? Let's go."
"I don't deserve you." Henry mutters as he gets up.
"I'll meet you downstairs in fifteen. I'm taking your phone."
"Please don't call him." Henry pleads. "I'm not ready. Promise me, Percy. No contact."
Percy swears but nods in agreement before sweeping from the room.