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heavy was the head that wore the crown. that’s what they would say to him. every day, every night, every time a bullet buzzed through the air or a knife whizzed inches from his face. heavy is the head.
what they didn’t talk about was that it wasn’t the crown that was the heaviest part of being king of the korean criminal network. the heaviest part were the hands that held the crown.
yeonjun’s hands had long since gotten used to the weight. but soobin’s hands had not. they were unblemished, pristine things in a world full of darkness and grime. if yeonjun had it his way, he’d keep soobin away from it all.
but he didn’t have it his way. he would never have it his way, since he no longer held all the power.
whoever thought democracy had a place in the mafia seriously needed a bullet to the head. yeonjun had been doing just fine being the titular king, calling the shots (sometimes literally) and directing agents as required. he had taehyun balancing the books to keep the government off their backs, he had beomgyu handling the flow of information and keeping the secrets of everyone close to yeonjun.
even hueningkai, the baby of their little operation, had earned himself the valuable position of head of security. nobody ever suspected someone with an adorable face like that could be possibly be a master martial artist. yeonjun certainly didn’t think so when they first met.
and then kai had put him on his ass in two seconds flat and he’d quickly changed his mind.
but then soobin happened. and when soobin happened, everything changed.
suddenly, yeonjun had priorities personal to him and his “judgement was clouded” to use taehyun’s words and the syndicate was in danger. which was complete and utter bullshit, if yeonjun said so himself. which he did. but his words no longer held the weight they used to.
a fucking board of directors was established. a board of directors, as if they were a legitimate corporation that employees thousands of people and offered fucking health insurance.
which, apparently they did. yeonjun had no idea. he always had taehyun handle his bills.
it made sense, the roles, if yeonjun was being completely honest. taehyun was treasurer, beomgyu secretary, yeonjun chairman. kai opted to not have a title and remain as head of security with voting rights.
a few other high ranked members earned seats at the table, and that was that. now they voted on initiatives and took minutes and filed motions and yeonjun could not believe all of this started because he fell in love with a boy.
“hyung, you’re still the boss. you just have more protection now in case soobin breaks your heart and you spiral into a depression and haphazardly blow up headquarters,” taehyun reminded him in his own scathing way as they exited their third board meeting since conception.
yeonjun glared at him, annoyed by the younger’s smile. “why does everyone think i’m going to have some emotional breakdown if soobin leaves me?” he stopped walking. “actually, why does everyone think soobin is going to leave me?!”
taehyun snorted, shaking his head as he continued walking, dragging yeonjun along by the elbow. “nobody thinks that,” he reassured. “you’re just more vulnerable than before. this is all to protect you. both of you.”
yeonjun sighed. he knew taehyun was right. he just had to learn to accept it. he dropped taehyun off at his office before trudging to his own, his gun holster chafing against his hipbone uncomfortably. he fell into his seat, ignoring his email notifications to open up his messages with soobin. a smile spread over his face and an instant calm fell over him.
“your hands have a lot of callouses,” soobin murmured as he rubbed his thumbs in circles over yeonjun’s palms. yeonjun frowned, pouting and attempting to pull his hands away. “don’t make fun of my hands, they’re the only ones i got,” he complained.
soobin laughed, always the most beautiful sound to yeonjun’s ears, and gently pulled yeonjun back to him. “you have lots of hands, hyung,” he said. “taehyun and beomgyu and kai-yah, and me.” he looked up then, his dimples popping out as he smiled at yeonjun and yeonjun once again melted on the spot.
nearly a year into dating and he still felt the way he did when he first met soobin. “you’re more than an extra pair of hands to me, baby,” he reminded softly. “plus, you’re not made to carry the things i do.”
soobin only hummed, continuing to massage yeonjun’s hands. yeonjun bit his lip. he shouldn’t. he really shouldn’t. it never ended well.
“you know that you don’t have to be a part of—.”
“finish that sentence and i’ll tell the board to vote you out as chairman and then you’ll have no say in anything whatsoever.”
soobin snapped his head up, glaring at him and holding his hands tightly. yeonjun yanked them away, standing up and clenching his jaw. he didn’t know why he was doing this. they’d had this argument so many times.
“why can’t you understand that i don’t want you anywhere near any of this? why are you so, so—okay with all of this?!” he yelled. soobin stood up too, hands clenched into fists. even like this, he was so beautiful.
he took a few steps closer, fuming. “if you’ve forgotten, hyung, i was a part of all of this before i even met you, so i don’t know why you think i could ever get away from it,” he hissed. he was right. but back then, he wasn’t in the inner circle. he was just one of their money launderers that worked a real nine to five and happened to identify an embezzlement scheme that landed him in taehyun’s office. when yeonjun was called in, it was game over.
“you know what i mean!” yeonjun cried, running his hands through his hair. “you’d be safer, you wouldn’t have to worry about—.”
“do you even love me, hyung?” soobin interrupted, his voice deadly quiet. it shut yeonjun up immediately, and his face fractured in confusion. “what?” he asked, his heart dropping into his stomach. in all their arguments, soobin had never once questioned yeonjun’s love for him.
but now, the younger was tearing up. and yeonjun could already feel the cracks in his heart. seeing those tears, it made the darkness within him ignite into a fire and he wanted to kill the person who caused the tears.
that person is me. maybe taehyun had a point.
yeonjun moved to soobin, taking his face in his hands and forcing their eyes to meet. “i love you more than i’ve ever loved anything in this world, soobin,” he whispered. his eyes searched the younger’s, trying to find whatever piece of doubt he held so he could destroy it.
soobin gripped his wrists, swallowing heavily. “then i need you to love me enough to understand that i don’t want to leave. not if you can’t come with me,” he breathed, voice breaking. a few tears dripped down over yeonjun’s fingers and burned his skin like acid.
“i do. i do love you enough, i do, i promise,” he rushed, wiping soobin’s cheeks and resting their foreheads together. “i’m sorry, i know i keep bringing it up. i just, i’ve never felt this way about anyone and it’s fucking s-scary and i have so much to think about and—.”
two large hands pressed to yeonjun’s back and pulled him into soobin’s chest. their lips met in a collision of tears, heat, and immeasurable love. yeonjun kissed back with all the energy he could muster. soobin cradled yeonjun against him as the kiss deepened, and yeonjun felt his knees go weak.
“you don’t have to carry all of this alone, yeonjun-hyung,” he said against his lips. “let me carry some with you.”
heavy was the head that wore the crown.