Work Text:
Kiyoka finished bandaging his wounds. They were not the best bandages, but it would do.
He didn't want to do it this way. He would have preferred to see a doctor and get it properly taken care of, but he was worried about Miyo.
She never cared for herself. She was always pushing aside everything to care for him, and was always apologetic when she was not sure she had done something right.
Kiyoka had been more mindful of his words and appearances since he realized how insecure she was. He wanted to help her become more secure, but he had no idea how to get her to be more mindful of herself and her need for rest.
She was getting better at least.
But he feared that seeing him injured would bring it back, and she would push herself further than ever before, ensuring that he got his rest and recovered without having to lift a finger.
No, he wasn't going to let her suffer that way.
He would deal with his injuries on his own.
They were not life threatening. He could handle it. He knew how injuries were treated. He might have to sew a few on his own, but they would heal.
It was a good thing he had a high pain tolerance. He wouldn't betray his pain easily.
If all went well, he would fool Miyo.
Yurie... Yurie knew him since he was a baby. She knew signs of pain.
He couldn't let her know. She would tell Miyo, or betray it with how she treated him, making sure he was recovered.
Kiyoka would be alone in recovery this time. He didn't even let anyone know that he had been injured. They'd just make sure he got to a doctor so that he recovered.
The worst downside of this was that he could not take time off or just do desk duty.
This may not have been his brightest decision.
Kiyoka checked his bandages. They would do until he had time to get home and take a bath. Once he could assess how bad they were, he would apply stitches as needed and find some proper bandages instead of the makeshift ones he was using to avoid suspicion.
He stood and winced, hand going to his side. Okay, this was going to be harder than he had thought.
Kiyoka stood, breathing for a few minutes before getting his spare clothes and pulling them on.
Getting dressed was one of his least favorite things to do when injured.
Finished, he closed his eyes and breathed, searching for strength before he opened them.
His eyes lingered on the hair tie Miyo had recently gifted him.
They had a breakthrough that day, and he hoped they were on their way to a better relationship. That Miyo was finding her confidence.
Kiyoka hated the idea of Miyo never learning how she was, the idea of Miyo never getting to grow as a person because she was stuck in the past.
But despite all the bumps in the road, they were making progress.
That was why he was doing this. Taking such a risk. He did not want to risk losing all the progress they had made. He did not want Miyo to feel too responsible. He did not want her to feel like she had nothing to offer.
Miyo was a gem, and he did not want to lose her. He did not want to see her wither away as she so often seemed like she would.
She always seemed to be hiding something.
Kiyoka wanted to know. He wanted to help.
But pushing her was not going to help either. She would ask for help eventually, or get to the point where she needed it regardless.
Hopefully before Kiyoka lost his patience in his worry and said something he regret.
He took a deep breath. Time to go. They were expecting him home, and his work was officially done.
He barely acknowledged Godo as normal on the way out.
He got in his car and left.
As he drove, he kept his mind off of the pain by thinking of Miyo. How he was tired of the endless arranged marriages to those who just wanted the money, the prestige. To bear the next Kudo child with his gifts.
He knew he did need to marry, because he needed to consider having children, though that seemed like a scary, far off thought. The sooner a marriage was arranged, the sooner children would be on the table, rather than later.
Each failed attempt meant time would eventually run out.
When he came across the Saimori family, he sent an offer without looking into them too hard.
They gave him the oldest daughter.
With arranged marriages from prestigious families, often families that were known for their gifts more than money, Kiyoka had learned that many women expected things he was not prepared to give.
He wanted something more like a partnership, people that liked him for him. The kinds of relationships he saw in books when he had time to read.
But those women just wanted to take and take, never give anything.
Miyo had been strange from the beginning.
He had thought she was the same, and was just trying a different angle.
The fact that Yurie liked her said a lot about Miyo's personality when Kiyoka was not at home. She had never liked any of the others.
Miyo never stopped trying to be a good potential wife. She was everything the women were not.
More than anything, her need to apologize for everything, and the things that Yurie noticed... that worried him. The oldest daughter of the Saimori family should not be like that.
Not if she was raised well.
Since then, it had been a rollercoaster of emotions as Kiyoka started learning how to properly communicate with others for the first time in his life.
Before, he did not have to worry because they were family and they generally understood. That included Yurie.
Or he worked with them, so he just had to be professional.
He had never figured out communication when he was growing up.
All the women who were supposed to be his fiancée... he had tried at first. But he quickly learned what they wanted, and that attempting to communicate would get him nowhere, so he shut himself off further.
With Miyo though, he had to be careful. One day she would be secure enough that he did not have to be as careful, but the skills of learning to express himself and make sure she knew that he cared and that her mistakes were okay... they would hopefully never go away.
Kiyoka blinked when he arrived home.
Hopefully Miyo didn't notice anything wrong. Hopefully if Yurie did, she would not draw Miyo's attention to it.
Kiyoka closed his eyes and breathed for a little bit before entering.
Everything hurt after driving. He was looking forward to a warm bath and getting some sleep.
Of course, that was once he ate dinner with Miyo, and caught up on her day.
He could do this.
.
It took three days before Miyo asked him if he was okay.
Kiyoka smiled at her. "I'm fine," he said gently. "You do not need to worry about me."
He was very much not fine. He had stitched up the wounds that needed stitches, but they were still incredibly painful.
Three days later, and he was not sure he was seeing any signs of healing.
He was constantly in pain, and sometimes even felt lightheaded from the pain.
But, for Miyo, he was fine. He ignored the looks that Yurie and Hazuki exchanged.
Why would they-ah, right. That had been his default answer when things were not fine growing up.
He had gotten their suspicion. He would have to be even more careful to avoid suspicion. He did not want them to worry Miyo.
He had forgotten his sister would also be able to clue in.
.
Kiyoka made it through some combat and a training session over the next seven days.
On the tenth day after he was injured, he realized there was something very wrong.
He stared at the way his wound oozed.
He didn't want to admit that this had gotten so bad. He was going to be in for so many lectures.
Miyo was going to be beside herself with worry.
Kiyoka sighed and cleaned up the pus as best he could. He was fine. He could handle this.
It hurt even more than it had previously. He grit his teeth and hid how much it hurt, how much he was suffering.
He could not worry Miyo further.
He almost didn't make it through his workday with how warm he was feeling, the dizzy spells, the intense pain nearly causing him to double over.
Kiyoka drove home carefully, a bit slower than usual, but he made it home at the usual time.
He rested his head on the steering wheel once he parked, eyes closing.
He needed sleep. The thought of food made him nauseous, but he could not skip dinner.
He resigned himself to more suffering.
He dragged himself out of the car and to the door of his house.
Once there, he took a fortifying breath and steeled himself before opening the door.
He greeted Miyo, smiling softly at her bright smile and new confidence. She looked beautiful.
He took a few more steps, and it all hit him at once.
The ground came up to meet him.
"Lord Kudo!" Miyo cried.
He fell unconscious.
.
Miyo knelt next to Lord Kudou once the doctor had left.
He would be okay, but it would have been better if he had gotten his injuries taken care of properly days ago.
Her eyes lingered over the visible bandages and filled with tears.
How had they all missed how much he was suffering? How much he was hiding?
Lord Kudou refused to let anyone know he was hurt, handling on his own for so long.
It must have been so hard, holding it in, not letting anyone help him.
But why didn't he say anything? Didn't he know they were all worried about him?
Miyo found herself crying as she held his hand.
"Why?" she wondered aloud. "Why do you worry us and not... let us... help..." Her eyes widened.
That was what she was doing, was it not? Even right after she was kidnapped and hurt, she had never let him help. She had always said she was okay, or fine, just like he did. She didn't even let Yurie or Hazuki help.
She was not letting him help.
He was worried about her.
She wasn't letting him help. Because she wanted to prove she could handle it, and she wanted him to stop worrying.
But now she was worried about him... because he had done the same thing to her.
Was it because she would keep pushing her own needs aside to care for him? Because she would skip meals, and sleep to make sure he was okay?
Maybe. He did worry her. If he thought that Miyo would keep pretending to be fine when she was not... maybe he just wanted to protect her... from her own worries.
Miyo sniffed and rubbed her eyes, pulling the offered food to her.
She would not worry him anymore. She would try to accept help. She would try to eat and sleep.
And she would be honest. That would help, right?
Miyo couldn't eat all of her food, but she tried before she put her food to the side.
She didn't want to leave him alone.
He had been suffering on his own, keeping it quiet, suppressing any sign that he was in pain.
She would not let him be alone anymore.
Miyo yawned. It was getting late though. She did need sleep.
She got comfortable, careful to give him space, but she did not let go of his hand.
She fell asleep surprisingly quickly considering her worry about Lord Kudo.
.
Kiyoka woke up. Everything hurt.
But... he surprisingly felt better. Why-
Oh. He had passed out and worried Miyo.
He realized there was a heavy weight on his hand. He shifted to look and smiled.
Miyo was there, head on his hand as she slept.
She had found a way to get sleep, good.
He used his other hand to brush hair out of her face, smiling fondly.
Miyo was so beautiful. If only she could see it.
She stirred, frowning, then she shot up. She looked at him and lit up.
"Lord Kudou! You're awake!"
"I am... no nightmares?"
Miyo looked at him in surprise. "You know about those?" Her hand went up to her mouth. "I'm sorry. But no... no nightmares."
He smiled. "That's good. It's okay to have nightmares, everyone has them, and they can be hard to shake."
Miyo nodded. "How are you feeling?"
"Better. Still sore."
"Of course. Do you want me to get anything?"
"Not yet. How are you?"
"Me? I'm..." Miyo was about to say okay, but hesitated. "I'm really worried about you."
"I'm sorry that I worried you. That wasn't very nice of me."
"It wasn't... but..." She looked away, letting go of his hand. "That's what I've been doing to you, isn't it?"
"You do worry me a lot when you push yourself too hard."
"I'm sorry. I'll... I'll do better. Please don't ever do that again."
Kiyoka sat up, grunting from the pain. He took her hand. "I won't. I hate to see you hurt, Miyo. You have been through more than enough in your life. Please, let me help you. I will always welcome your help."
Miyo looked up at him, eyes filling with tears as she hugged him on a surprising impulse.
Kiyoka returned the hug tightly, resting his chin on hers as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. It was so rare that she initiated any affection. He was not going to pass this by.
A sound at the door had him opening his eyes to look.
The look of delight on his sister's face told him that she was going to be interrogating him later.
Miyo pulled away and smiled at him. "Are you up for breakfast?"
"I think I can try to eat a little."
"Great!"
Watching Miyo eat next to him reassured Kiyoka that things would be okay eventually.
It would just take one step at a time.