Work Text:
24 August 2023, 8.57pm
[You]: Courtney
[You]: Courtney
[You]: Courtney
[You]: Mi amiga
[Courtney]: Yes, Alejandro?
[You]: Courtney, I think I may be homophobic
[Courtney]: What.
[Courtney]: Did Noah finally get Owen to eat your stupid, lavish shampoo?
[You]: No
[You]: Not yet. Or ever, I hope
[You]: Noah had someone over today
[Courtney]: Didn’t you always have someone over at the start of the year?
[Courtney]: Then Noah blew up at you for always causing problems for his sleep.
[You]: Yes, that’s true, but this is different
[Courtney]: I don’t see what the problem could be. Or how you’d be homophobic.
[You]: Courtney, he had a guy over
[Courtney]: Oh, so it was a date?
[Courtney]: Isn’t he gay? I’d be surprised if it were a girl.
[You]: That’s not what I mean
[You]: I mean
[You]: This is hard over text
[You]: Can we call?
[Courtney]: I’m with Gwen, give me a moment.
—
The phone rings for a moment before it connects. Immediately, Alejandro hears Courtney let out a long, deep sigh as soft giggles ring out. That’d be Gwen, he guesses.
“Tarado, why in the world do you think you’re homophobic?”
At that, the giggles turn into full-blown laughter. He can almost see the way Courtney softens at the sound.
He groans, placing a hand over his face. “This is supposed to be private.”
“If you’re actually homophobic, I think the rest of the world deserves to know so that you can get shanked,” she responds sweetly. “Now spill, what happened? Who was Noah with?”
“I can’t recall his name. I think he was in that band with Cody a while back. He has black hair, green eyes – carries around a guitar that he used to serenade Noah, apparently.”
“Oh, what? Trent?” Gwen’s voice filters over. It sounds strained, almost, like she was trying hard not to laugh. “Oh, wow . I heard he’d been working on a love song… but I never thought it’d be for Noah .”
Something flares in Alejandro’s chest at the words, alongside mounting confusion. Courtney hums, before explaining, “Trent is Gwen’s ex. Friendly ex, unlike a certain someone…”
She trails off to mutter a few choice words in Spanish that the phones barely catch.
“Point is, Trent’s a nice guy. Nothing to worry about. Does that help your ‘homophobic’ feelings?”
I somehow feel worse now, he thinks. “I…”
“...so it isn’t that?”
“No, I don’t think so. It’s… how do I say this… I felt distressed, seeing the two together. Uncomfortable, even,” he trails off. “Noah’s a close friend of mine, and I value him greatly. It should make me happy to hear that he has found a good partner, yet it… doesn't. I feel repulsive.”
There’s a moment of silence before Courtney snorts, and something in Alejandro’s heart unclenches at the sound.
“Really? You think you’re homophobic because– What were Trent and Noah doing?”
“They were holding hands, and Trent was singing a song.” He leaves out how he was listening to them through the walls of the apartment and had only caught a glance at their hands when he went to the kitchen for water.
“You can be so smart, yet somehow manage to be stupid. You watch me and Gwen make out all the time, and that’s not even mentioning Heather’s cycle of girlfriends. Do you feel anything when we go around being gay while you stand off to the side?”
He thinks about it. “No.”
“Mm. Do you feel like hate-criming Cody and Harold when they nerd out in front of your salad?”
“I wish they would stop doing that. Their ‘friendly flirting’ is infuriating.”
Gwen lets out an amen. “I’d hate-crime them regardless of if they’re gay or straight, though, so… poor example.”
“That’s true… Wow, we really don’t have a lot of gay guy friends… Actually, do Harold and Cody even count? Considering Harold– no, nevermind… Hm, how about Scott and Brick?”
“I barely know them.”
“Same difference. Thoughts?”
“I… don’t really care about them?” He’s unsure of how to respond.
“Exactly,” Courtney snaps her fingers loudly. “You don’t care unless it’s explicitly Noah and Trent. That’s not homophobia.”
“At least, nothing that’s not internalised,” Gwen drawls, but that just makes it even more confusing.
Courtney seems to catch on before Alejandro can, snapping her fingers again. “Oh, you don’t think…?”
“Oh, I do. I’ll explain it to you later. Alejandro, good luck, man.” The goth laughs knowingly.
“What?” Before he can question them further, the call has ended and he’s left staring at a blank screen.
How cold.
—
24 August 2023, 9.04pm
[You]: That was no help at all.
[Courtney]: I don’t remember a clause asking me to give you good help
[Courtney]: You remember what I wrote when I made you sign that contract right?
[You]: I’ll just ask Heather instead
[Courtney]: Good luck with that!
[Courtney]: We both know why you came to me first!!!!
—
24 August 2023, 9.05pm
[You]: Heather
[You]: I know you’re on a date but I need your help
[You]: Please
[Heather]: Drop dead.
[You]: It’s really important I need advice
—
A call pops up on his screen almost immediately.
“You get two minutes and you owe me. Hurry it up.”
“Trent and Noah are together.” He grimaces. “And I’m… upset. But I’m not sure why.”
“Is that why Leshawna got a text from Gwen about you calling yourself homophobic?”
“...yes.”
She scoffs loudly. “For a ‘lady-killer’, you’re fucking incompetent at your feelings.”
“I blame José and my mother.”
“Don’t we all?” Alejandro can envision her rolling her eyes. “You’re in love, dumbass – jealous that you lost Noah to Trent.”
“What? No.”
“You called me because you wanted a straightforward, no-bullshit answer, and the only two people willing to do that for you are me and Noah, which is why you called me. And I’m telling you that you look at Noah like he’s your world.”
“I’m not gay,” he says, but can’t quite find it in himself to be more forceful about it.
“That’s what Courtney said.” Heather sounds completely unimpressed. “You overachievers and your weird internalised homophobia… Pick a struggle already.”
“That’s not– I–” He can’t think of an argument that Courtney hasn’t already made.
“Listen, Al,” she says with an inflection that has him cringing. “I don’t really give two shits about your love life, but stop dancing around it already. You don’t just flirt with anyone, unless it serves a purpose. You’ve been ignoring passing attempts from everyone, and you know when the last time you did that was? With me, in high school.”
He shifts uncomfortably. “Exactly, I dated you in high school–”
“And I turned out a lesbian. Bi people also exist, by the way… No pun intended.”
“I–”
“Whatever, loser, my two minutes are up. Bye!” A click, and she’s gone.
“Ay,” he groans, placing his head in his hands. He can’t stop replaying her words in his mind, turning the idea around like you would a puzzle. You look at Noah like he’s your world.
It’s not true, he insists. But something slithers up his throat in place of words, and all he can feel is a hollow cold that he’s been trying to fill for far too long.
—
24 August 2023, 10.48pm
[You]: Noah, can we talk?
[Noah]: ?
[Noah]: im in the living room right now
[Noah]: you can come out
[You]: I could make a really good joke right now
[Noah]: care to share with the class, comedian?
[Noah]: or would clown be better?
[You]: Haha
[You]: I think I’m bi
—
Noah doesn’t respond for a moment. There’s a chat bubble popping up and disappearing every few seconds, like he doesn’t know what to say, before it just stops.
Alejandro is burying his head in his arms when there’s a loud knock on the door to his room.
“Open up,” a voice calls from the other side. There’s a pause, before the voice continues, “The door, not emotionally.”
He snorts from where he is. “Neither of us can handle emotional vulnerability, I’m sure.”
“Yeah, yeah. Are you going to come out to my face or are we going to keep this block of wood in the way until one of our voices goes hoarse?” Another pause. “Did you want my help or something?”
“What?”
“You said you think you’re bi. I don’t know what exactly I’m supposed to do with that information.”
“It’s… complicated.”
Noah snorts. “What, you gonna get a Facebook account just to update your relationship status?”
“Maybe,” he says, and the sound of Noah’s chuckle barely makes it through the door.
“Did you get your bi awakening from a guy in a relationship or something?”
Alejandro winces abruptly. Noah hits the bullseye immediately, as always.
“So you did,” Noah answers for him.
“I– Well, yes. Maybe. I’m not sure yet.”
“Not to sound egocentric or anything, but I have a… hunch that this is about me and Trent.” Oh, fuck. Of course he knows. “Can you open the door before I punch it in frustration and like, break my hand or something?”
Alejandro stifles his laugh, instead manoeuvring quickly to open the door.
Noah stares at him, arms crossed. There’s an unreadable expression on his face.
“...hi,” Alejandro says, meek. What an insane twist this is — Alejandro, the Alejandro Burromuerto, acting meek. Almost laughable.
Except Noah just sighs deeply before throwing his arms around Alejandro’s shoulders, pulling him close. Which is shocking, because Noah isn’t usually the one initiating hugs.
“Dumbass,” Noah murmurs, amusement colouring his tone. “Me and Trent aren’t dating.”
“You’re not?”
“ No. What you saw earlier, that was this stupid plan Gwen and Trent made to make you ‘realise your feelings’ and ‘awaken your inner gay’ — their words, not mine.” Alejandro can’t see Noah’s face when they’re huddled together like this, but he knows that sentence is being punctuated by an eyeroll. “Wanted me to pretend to date Trent so that you would get jealous, or something. Everyone knew you had a crush on me except for you, apparently.”
They settle into silence as Alejandro processes. “Everyone? As in, including you?”
“It was pretty obvious, but I’m not Alejandro Burromuerto. ” Another eyeroll. “We’d have a second ice age before I waltzed up to someone and said ‘Hey I don’t think you know you’re bi yet but I’m pretty sure you have a crush on me’ like a narcissist.”
“Hey,” he protests weakly.
Noah snickers, finally pushing himself away from Alejandro’s shoulder. Then, more quietly, he says, “There’s another thing you haven’t realised.”
“Do Gwen and Trent have a plan for this one too?”
Noah huffs in amusement. “They don’t, thankfully. I can show you exactly what I’m talking about.”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Alejandro admits. “But I’d love to know.”
The other boy hums. The first second, he’s placing a hand on the nape of Alejandro’s neck. The next, Noah has pulled Alejandro closer, and they’re finally kissing.
There’s no fireworks or butterflies rebounding in his stomach, but Alejandro feels warm all the same.