Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

so, uh hi?

i'm sans, I guess (i'm the only one reading this though, so...)

i don't know how i should start this but i'm trying... so this is my journal, as you should know. my counselor recommended that i try writing in it daily after my last little episode i told her about.

.

.

i broke a wall...

now my bed is only against one wall, not two.

sucks, honestly

jokes (not really) aside, my counselor is really cool.

i guess i should, like talk about myself? let me look it up..

okay i'm back.

it said that i should introduce myself and where i am in life, so i can see improvement or something.

so i'll re-introduce myself.

i'm sans, sans the skeleton.

i'm 14 (15 in April)

i live in snowdin, moved in recently with my little brother papyrus.

paps is 7 now.

wow.

welp, i need to go pick him up from school.

see you later, i guess..?

ok i’m back.

it takes me 10 minutes to get to his school in waterfall without my shortcuts.

i know those can't technically run out, but i'm always worried they will.

i don't know why.

i have another appointment with miss dela in a little bit. she's my counselor. i'm gonna show her my journal, see her opinion.

i hope she likes it

[The handwriting is loopy and small]

So Sans wanted me to write down something he should improve on, and then we will do this every once in a while as a check in.

Its a smart idea for sure.

Well, Sans, you need to be more open with help. you don't ask for help until it is too late, which is why you are “forced” to be here.

Nevertheless, you are very bright, and I'm sure you will get better and feel more energized.

tired

wanna sleep

paps wants story

head really hurts

page over

see you tomorrow

Chapter Text

so

i have no recollection of that last bit on the page, but i don't feel like talking about it so lets just pretend it didn't happen.

so i have school today (gross) but i get to see alphs so thats fun for me.

we didn't have school yesterday because someone blew up the science lab

...

it was me and alphys.

we really didnt want school yesterday.

"Sans!"

"yeah?"

"Lets blow something up so we don't have school tomorrow!"

"why?"

"That project we haven't started is due tomorrow"

we had been walking to the science classroom like we always do. the class wasn't a core class we were in it together.

thankfully.

"Just mix those, then i'll add this!"

"ok."

There was an explosion, and smoke...

it smelt like buttered popcorn,

and petrol.

"Sans! Alphys! What the actual FUCK!"

mr. flit yelled at us for five minutes

so now we have a new science teacher.

mrs. jackler

mr. flit quit after the stunt, so...

on a different note, im gonna show alph this and see what she thinks

-

"heya"

"Oh! hi Sans!... why are you speed writing?"

"journal"

"Oh... When did you get that?"

"yesterday."

"Can i see?"

"......"

"ok."

[The handwriting is light and neat]

So Sans has let me write something in this, but I want to what he has written.

Okay, I'm back.

I don't really know what to write, so have a drawing!

[A drawing of Sans and Alphys that author-kun will add at some point]

i just got some from school, picked paps up. he is doing homework, i finished mine.

...

Im gonna take a nap, see you tomorrow, i guess.

Chapter Text

tis saturday.

i am free from school.

paps wanted pasta for breakfast, so i was like:

"weird request but ok" then i found out it was for his superhero who was the one who wanted pasta.

now i have a bunch of pasta.

alph came by to hang out.

"hello?"

"Hey Sans! I came to ask if you wanted to hang out?"

"ok. come into my parlor."

"Said the spider to the fly?"

"tis the prettiest parlor that you ever did spy."

we both started cracking up

"Oh- FUCK YOU."
"no you."

"BRO!"

"just get good at this?"

"How are you so good at racing games?? It's literally impossible for you to run?"

"SANS?"

"yeah paps?"

"WHAT DOES 'FUCK' MEAN?"

i burst out in laughter, and paused the game. alphys was a bright red.

"w-well apaps-hehe-fuck is a curse word people yell when they-heh..-are mad. don't say it though, its a grown up word."

"BUT..."

"BUT YOU ARENT GROWN UP?"

i started cackling again.

man, my brother really is cool.

i have to clean tomorrow so im going to bed, after i read paps his bedtime story.

[a paragraph is scribbled out violently.]

Chapter Text

its cleaning day.

ew.

the chemicals smell good though. i sometimes wanna just-

[A drawing of Sans pouring window cleaner into his mouth.]

yeah. paps doesn't like the smell though, so he said he's going to hang out with undyne. shes a little 10 year old in waterfall, really strong too.

delta,  the smell really is strong.. my head hurts, but i should at least finish up the downstairs...

maybe i should stop...

i'm gonna go lie dow-

[there appears to be a hastily written message, but its too messy to be legible]

HELLO?

I AM PAPYRUS!

SANS IS LAYING IN THE FLOOR AND NOT MOVING!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?

...

I'LL CALL HIS FRIEND, ALPHYS...

...

IM SCARED.

ALPHYS IS ON HER WAY. WITH HER UNCLE.

HES THE ROYAL SCIENTIST, ALMAPT.

THEY ARE HERE NOW! ALMAPT IS CHECKING HIS SOUL VITALS.

THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

NAME: C. SANS

HP: 0.3/1

DEF: 1

ATK: 1

*barely holding on..

*...tired

ALPHYS EXPLAINED HOW BAD THAT IS.

ALMAPT IS USING HEALING MAGIC. HE ASKED FOR A WET TOWEL. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I WONT QUESTING IT.

HE'S PUTTING IT ON SANS' FACE.

HE ASKED WHERE SANS' ROOM WAS, SO I TOOK HIM THERE.

ITS NOT NEARLY AS MESSY AS NORMAL, WITH THE TORNADO FREE OF TRASH AND SHEETS ACTUALLY ON THE BED.

ALMAPT PUT HIM ON THE BED..

HE TOOK ME HE SHOULD WAKE UP TOMORROW. HE ALSO SAID TO NOT LET HIM GO TO SCHOOL, AND TO CALL ALPHYS AGAIN IF IM CONCERNED.

NOW WE ARE BACK DOWNSTAIRS. ALPHYS IS STAYING FOR A LITTLE BIT, AND SHE WILL WRITE DOWN WHAT HAPPENED (FOR SANS):

Hey..?

This is Alphys.

So, your (Sans') soul is already extremely weak. I'm guessing that you haven't been eating, because that can slowly drain ones HP.

The chemicals must have fucked something up in your system to make you lose more HP, or it just finally caught up with you.

Me and Papyrus say goodbye.

...

Please don't fall, Sans.

Chapter Text

SANS HAS YET TO WAKE UP, AND ITS ALMOST 10 AM

...

PERHAPS I SHOULD WAKE HIM UP

HES AWAKE BUT APPARENTLY BLIND. HE WANTS ME TO STOP WRITING, SO I GUESS ILL CUT IT SHORT

...SANS' EYELIGHTS AREN'T WORKING ANYMORE.

HE CANNOT ACTIVATE THEM AT ALL. WE TRIED TO FORCE IT BUT... NOTHING.

I DONT KNOW IF THEY WILL COME BACK..

Chapter Text

[the handwriting is messy]

IM SCARED

SANS IS CRYING THIS BLUE/YELLOW MIX OF MAGIC, AND ITS EVEN STARTING TO POUR THROUGH HIS TEETH.

HIS MAGIC IS LOWERING QUICKLY. I NEED TO TAKE HIM SOMEWHERE.

IM GOING TO TRY TO TAKE HIM TO ALMAPTS LAB. THE RIVERPERSON IS QUICK, RIGHT?

[The handwriting is noticeably better]

THE RIVERPERSON IS TAKING US TO HOTLAND. THANKFULLY THEIR STOP IS REALLY CLOSE, AND EVERYONE IS AT HOME BECAUSE ITS PASSED MIDNIGHT.

ALMAPT PUT HIS NUMBER IN SANS' PHONE AND I TEXTED HIM WE WERE COMING, SO HOPEFULLY HE IS THERE.

RIVERPERSON SAID WE ARE NEARING HOTLAND. ALSO ABOUT THE "MAN WHO SPEAKS IN HANDS", BUT THATS LESS IMPORTANT.

SANS IS THANKFULLY A SACK OF BONES WHICH IS DEFINITELY LIGHTER THAN IF HE HAD MEAT.

IM ALMOST HIS HEIGHT, SURPRISINGLY.

ALMAPT TOOK HIM AWAY. ALPHYS IS ALSO HERE.

IM WORRIED...

IM SAYING THAT A LOT LATELY, AREN'T I..?

THATS NOT A GOOD THING. NOT A GOOD THING AT ALL.

SANS BETTER NOT DUST, OR ELSE WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF ME?

...

ALPHYS' PARENTS, SAUNDA AND TRYNO WOULD.

OR UNDYNE'S MOM, NEREID, AND HER GRAMPS, GERSON.

OKAY A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD TAKE ME IN BUT STILL.

I LOVE SANS.

I LOVE HIS AWFUL PUNS

I LOVE HIS WIDE SMILE

I LOVE HIS SHORT-NESS

I LOVE HIS FONT.

I JUST...

HE CAN'T LEAVE.

HE CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE HERE.

...

I DON'T LIKE BEING ALONE.

Chapter Text

[the handwriting is sloppy]

so like- hi.

im in new homes hospital.

because i almost died

ahaha...

it's terrifying, ya know?

i was blind... and not the the blind where you can sort of see light. it was like the void between shortcuts...

it was hard to think in there..

all i was thinking was just if i would die.

oop, someones coming in!

"C. Sans?"

"thats me."

"Can i ask what the C stands for?"

"uhm..."

"..."

"Thats alright."

"I see here that Dr. Almapt has brought you here? And that you almost Fell a few hours ago?"

"you know as much as i do, i've been fading in an out of conciseness for the better part of yesterday and today."

"Well thats not good."

"yeah..."

we both were kinda silent after that.

she checked my soul, checked my eyes, and kinda just asked me to fill out this form stating who was allowed to visit me, who would sign me out, and all that jazz.

i ended up texting almapt (when did i get his number?) if i could put him down and he said it was fine.

Papyrus is coming by soon, he's on the Riverpersons boat.

"SANS!!!"

"heya, bro."

"I WAS SO WORRIED HOW ARE YOU IS ANYTHING WRONG ARE YOU OKAY WHAT HAPPENED IS IT TO DO WITH YOUR SOUL IS IT MAGIC RELATED DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH CONNECTIONS???"

"i-"

"calm down, love."

"i am fine, and i'm not sure whats up with me right now. have you eaten? are you tired?"

"I ATE ON MY WAY HERE AND..."

"and?"

"I GUESS I AM TIRED...."

"c'mere"

i pulled him into the bed with me. now he is snoring on my sternum.

i think i'm going to go...

Chapter Text

"Sans!"

"heya, alph."

alphys seems... concerned.

i wonder why.

...

who knows?

not me.

[handwriting is dark and scratchy]

why

why is my hp-

whys it going down

someone

someone needs to help

i..

i need help..

do i?

fuck

shit shit shitshitshit

...

my fingers are gritty.

gross.

doctors-

i need doctors..

[It's Papyrus's handwriting. Small drops of orange liquid are seeped into the paper.]

SANS CODED

CRAP

DOCTORS ARE TRYING TO STABILIZE HIM

I DON'T KNOW IF ITS WORKING

ALPHYS SAID SHES GOING TO TAKE THIS AWA-

[The writing swerves off the page]

Okay, Papyrus is panicking the fuck out.

I'll be back, I need to comfort him.

Chapter Text

They managed to stabilize him! His HP is full again, and now we are just waiting for him a wake up.

Papyrus fell asleep, so he's sitting in the chair beside me right now.

I hope after this we can go back to normal!  If he dies that means no one will take care of Papyrus, and I'll loose a friend.

I dont think he will be able to talk for a while... bye?

Chapter Text

jeez, this is old.

all dusty and shit...

a lot has happened since the previous few pages.

like- a lot.

i'm 24, this is a decade later. me and paps still live in the same house, he's 17 now.

...

god he's cool.

alph and 'dyne are dating, i think.

i really don't care enough to ask.

funny story, r'now

so i'm sitting on the couch, leaning over my sketchbook with my journal next to me.

papyrus comes inside from god-knows-what training he had with 'dyne

and he sees the journal - impressive really, his eyesight is shit when he isn't wearing his glasses, which he wasn't. this is also the same color as the couch, so yeah - and just stares at it for a solid while.

"SANS."

"yeah, bro?"

"IS THAT THE CURSED JOURNAL."

"yeah, its the cur-"

he said that, and i kinda just froze. why tf did he call it cursed was the main question.

"cursed?"

"YEAH. WHEN YOU STARTED IT YOUR SOUL IMMEDIATELY STARTED A DOWNWARDS SPIRAL TO THE GROUND."

such a vivid description.

"don't worry. it'll be fine."

he looked really nervous.

"PLEASE... Just be careful, okay?"

i agreed, but my ears were just ringing. first thing, he neutralized his voice. i do my best to use capitalization to imply tone. i act tired and bored, so i don't get capitals.

PAPYRUS TALKS REALY ENERGETICALLY AND ANIMATED THOUGH!! HIS VOICE IS BOOMING BUT SWEET.

A neutral tone uses proper punctuation and wording, much more formal that the average monster voice.

anywayz, that was too much capitalizing for me. he was worried, i'm heeding his words, end of story.

Chapter Text

i'm back from the hellhole of therapy. he tried to make me use proper capitalization and i threatened to punch him.

now i need to go until gyftmas.

ew

alphs' is coming over with the mew mew kissy cutie movie she found. undyne is sitting on the couch while papyrus does who-knows-what in his room.

undynes staring at me i think.

"Why does your eye look like that?"

"look like... what?"

"The crack that goes to your eye and teeth!"

ah... thats the throbbing

"oh..."

"I don't remember that yesterday!"

"yeah. i punched my therapist and he fought back."

"Want me to fight him?"

"..."

thats when I realized that my brother is insane

im joking.

alphys is here, and ill probably fall asleep, so bye.

Chapter Text

so apparently i was recommended for therapy by my school principal because i threatened to drink the chemicals in science.

then proceeded to drink them.

...

i don't break a promise, ok?

anywho, my counselor finally quit after 2 years of my bullshit.

good for her

"Hello, Mr. Comic."

"ex-fucking-scuse me?"

"Is that not your name?"

"comic is my birthname, yes, but i go by sans"

"Is Sans a middle name?"

"..."

"no, but its because my font is comic sans."

i pointed down and forced my bubble to appear. not a lot of people like bubbles, like me, but i use them to make a point.

the therapist doesn't look amused.

"Well, I have to use your birthname. Perhaps your insistence of not using your name stems from your want to not be who you once were?"

delta, this dude has bugger conspiracy theories then alphys with her mew mew anime or papyrus with the dragon show.

my therapist wants me to not write tomorrow then ask how it felt so fuck him-

[the m drags out.]

Chapter Text

papyrus wanted to eat out today, but he doesn't like the diner in hotland, and we arent of legal age to go to the bar in town, so we settled on just going to the shops.

"what do you want, paps?"

"IM THINKING"

"..."

"YOUR PEN BOISE IS DISRUPTING MY THINKING! YOU WRITE TOO MUCH"

"i dont even write in this daily"

"IN GENERAL, THEN"

"then take it from m-"

[a scribbled mess dips into nearby letters]

Chapter Text

[a letter is taped on the page. ]

Dear Comic,

It is me, Courier. How is it in Snowdin? Your Mother threw a fit when she heard about you getting such a nice house.

How is the child? What did you end up naming him? I recall you saying that his font will mostly likely be either TN. Roman, Papyrus, or Helvetica (I do think Helvetica is used already by some cheap-ass hotshot.)

I feel bad about what your Mother did. I have no right to even capitalize it, when she is dead to you, and you to her.

...

I'll have to use her name.

Laro S. definitely hates you for the child. He's three now, correct?

You wont respond. This is pointless.

Don't die, you little shit. Make sure EVERYONE in the household is fed, you included.

...

I love you, dear nephew

-Courier New

P.S. Make sure your eyelights work, if they stop for too long you can die

Chapter Text

[the page before it appears to be ripped out]

geez.

i dont even know where the other two entries went. The one evidence that they were there is the next page's date, and the small bits that werent torn out.

i was a fucked up child, i am learning.

based on some of these entries, i definitely had undiagnosed autism and anxiety... poor me.

i ranted for 2 whole pages on the skeleton species, talked about some concerning topics, and i do have autism. so.

i am really impressed by the skeleton thing, it wasn't the worst paper i've read.

anywho, the kid is hanging out with me and paps right now. they asked me about how my shortcuts work. i then had to explain the mass of raw energy in the world and how that translates... now we are talking about how weird aglets are.

"Aglet."

"AGLET."

"Thats a weird word."

"I KNOW."

"..."

"SANS NO."

"sans yes!"

"NO, SANS. NOT TODAY. I HATE THAT SPAWN OF SATAN JOURNAL."

rude.

Chapter Text

heya.

so i was sitting on the couch watching some pony show and-

hold on, i hear some barking. and not the greater dog kid kind, either.

its a dog. just- like- just sitting on the patio.

i'm grabbing him to take in.

"HE NEEDS A NAME."

"yep."

"WHAT SHOULD WE NAME HIM?"

"dunno."

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME, DOG?"

he didn't respond. bummer

"toby?"

"..."

"TOBY."

so now we have a new pet. now the rock wont be lonely.

Chapter Text

(The page is crumpled and looks like it was going to be torn out)

why did she go and fuck up our friendship like that?

her, alphys, and i were all perfectly fine together, then she fucked it all up.

what did she do?

she fucking exposed our notes in class, which were mainly venting!

papyrus is yelling at me to eat, because "a little birdy told him" that i didn't eat school. i know it was racey, that cheeky bastard. im telling him ill eat once i finish the page.

will i?

...

probably.

anywho back to that BITCH i was talking about. her name is leepa and shes a froggit. me and alphys were sent to the counselor during our second class, which is out favorite. bummer for us, but she was called during math. no one likes math, so she got out easy.

[a long, scribbled out paragraph]

honestly i feel tired, but i promised him i would eat and i don't really need to say anything.

bye, i guess.

Chapter Text

so me and paps caught some sickness. we are both kinda just hiding in our rooms until one of us inevitably gets hungry and makes food.

i think he is playing on his phone (my old one, alphys gave me one she found in the dump.) and ive been working on some schoolwork alph' dropped off.

i might make us some food, i should ask him what he wants.

"heya, paps."

"Yes, Brother?"

i can hear it in his voice, he isnt as boisterous as normal.

"do ya want any food? if so, what?"

"OH!! Do We Still Have Noodles?"

"think so. spaghetti, or just plain noodles?"

"Spaghetti PLEASE!!!"

"'ight."

[The handwriting is a bit messy, and a different color.]

delta, i really do have a snowdin accent. didn't think my voice patterns would change that much after two years. somehow paps kept our fathers older accent.

anywho, im waiting for the noodles to boil. using some premade sauce makes it eons easier.

"paps! food!!"

i hope he heard me with my lowercase-ass scream.

he did. im gonna stop writin', to eat. my soul-stomach hurts a lot thoug-

[the text abruptly stopped. a stain of red is on the page, and furthermore the pages before and cover]

Chapter Text

heya 

so my science teacher (wow i talk about science a lot) wanted everyone to write a paper on their species. 'were allowed to work with anyone of the same species or even the same class (reptiles, amphibians, etc.) but guess what.

i'm the only skeleton. woo! i got zero help.

anyways, here is a printed copy (we had to use proper capitals, sadly.)

[A paper is taped into the page]

Skeletons: A study using osteology and celestiology.

By C. Sans Skeletior

When you read a paper of this day and age, all about skeletons with in depth details, you may be startled, or even uncomfortable by the end. This reaction is exactly what I want to get out of you. Skeleton monsters are complex and confusing, in which taking a closer look is much needed. 

Skeletons are made up of bones and magic. These two topics can be split into the sciences osteology and celestiology. Osteology is the study of bones, while celestiology is the study of magic. Celectiology is a very well-versed topic, being the main science in souls. Osteology isn’t studied as much, which means a lot of the information used is from the two remaining skeleton monsters, C. Sans Skeletior, and Papyrus P. Skeletior.

Bones are what skeletons are, fun fact. Skeleton monster bones are mainly calcium and magic, with collagen and minerals keeping them steady. Skeletons consist of an average of 206 bones, depending on their height and magic reserves. 

Like a burnt lasagna, bones have many layers. The periosteum is a membrane covering the entire bone, and the part you see. Along with that, there is the articular cartilage, which is (you guessed it) cartilage. Underneath is the cortical bone, or the “hard” bone. The epiphyseal plate connects two sides of the cortical bone, and provides stability. The inner portion of bones contains a jello-textured magic, which will certainly make you puke if you hadn't already by the broken bone.

Normally ones skull contained 22 bones, but as of the almost extinction of skeleton monsters from the plague (which will be explored later on) the number has decreased to 15. The arms  contain 30 bones, with the legs containing 62. The rib cage, a vital part of a skeleton, housing the soul, contains 24 bones and a sternum.

Souls, as we all know, are the very culmination of one's being. Our souls, of course, can be seen through a skeletons ribcage. Our souls are much sturdier than a normal monster's soul, being much more vulnerable. This sturdinest is how even a monster with lower than the assumed lowest HP, 10 HP, can still survive.

Skeletons have a hint of one of the main 7 human soul types, and based on further research, had 3 main soul hints. These are Perseverance, Integrity, and Bravery. The traits don't do much, but can be a safety strategy from the war that is useless now.

Skeleton attacks, like any other monster's, reflect the species. They are often in the shape of bones, and can be light blue attacks, which are attacks that you don't move to get through. They also have a special attack, which reflects their family.

Soul magic is a popular weapon that is used often, making souls blue. If you didn't know, blue is a gravity affecting attack, where people can be pushed around in the air (or used to keep people on the ground)

If you hadn't been paying attention, you wouldn't know that only two skeletons are left here. These skeletons were genetically modified to survive the bone eating disease that was attacking skeletons, as well as being kept hidden. The bone eating disease, called the Osteo-plague, sprung up in the 2070s, and slowly killed off the skeletons. No one could find the cause, but we know that it affected their souls and killed magic from the inside out.

In conclusion, the skeleton species was a very dominant species in the underground until a plague started killing them off. Now, only two remain, even then, they aren't genetically identical to others.

ill see this again at some point. prolly.

who cares? i don't

Chapter Text

so to explain what happened yesterday,

im still sick. i threw up something red, but ive narrowed it down to bone marrow, weird magic, and determination .

i didn't end up eating because i felt kinda sick, but paps did.

"SANS!!!"

"er... yeah, bro?"

"HOW ARE YOU FEELING??"

"like shit still, but better."

"OKAY!! I THINK I AM BETTER, CAN YOU CHECK?"

"'ight."

so checking a skeleton's temperature is really weird, and we ain't even sure if we're doing it right.

what we do is we take out our souls then use the tongue thermometers on our souls. i remember that skeletons run cold, so i just estimate.

"36 celsius [97 Fahrenheit]"

"YAY!! Whats yours???"

"lemme check."

"..."

"39 celsius [102 Fahrenheit]"

"..."

"i'm goin back to sleep.."

"Maybe You Should..."

now we are laying on the couch together, watching some dumb, fake movie.

...

g'night.

Chapter Text

[the writing alternates colors and handwriting]

hey alph'

What, Sans?

'm bored and done with the paper, r u?

Yeah, but they don't want us to talk

technically, we ain't talking.

If we get in trouble its your fault

ok

so wanna know something undyne 'n papyrus were doin?

Sure? Let's hear it.

so imagine your working on the english diorama project, when you get a knock ok your door. being confused, ya open the door to get fuckin glitter bombed. just orange and yellow glitter everywhere.

Thats why your not wearing your jacket?

yep. ill show you a photo later but there glitter all over my room now. prolly some in my eye sockets

[glitter is at the end of the message]

Oof, sucks to be you! Glad I'm an only child!

hardy har har. must be nice having parents.

Aww, don't be a sore skeleton! I was joking.

seriously tho who tf are my parents

Lets not unpack all of that!

What did you get on question 6?

uhhhhhhhhh 46.294

Same!

what did you get on 15?

I got C.

i put e

How is it E?

did you use pemdas?

Oops

Hold up, why are we using your journal?

have u got paper?

Fair.

wanna hang out after school?

Sure! We can- SHIT SORRY SAN-

[the writing was sloppy on the uppercase, and the pen trails off at the end]

[Writing is neat and precise]

So, this is your journal, Sans? I cant have you and Alphys passing notes, child.

My my, cheating as well? I thought i knew you two better then this.

ahaha my teacher read my journal!

wait they read my journal

that ive had for years

shit

Chapter Text

[The date seems to have been written by someone else, and the handwriting foe the actual passage is sloppy.]

jeez im feelin real loopy

i drank to much bloody marys i think

drunk as shit

paps is gonna be mad

who cares

i dont.

grillbz said i could stay!!

i think i love himm- like alotta lots

jeezuz blinkin 's hardd.

cant keep em open!

aha.

maybee i will go-ta slep

grillb'll wake me up!

hez nice lik that.

[The handwriting is in a loopy not-cursive handwriting]

...

Sans fell asleep on this. I was worried it was hurting his skull.

The angel knows he needs it.

You'll read this message, right, Sans?

Please lay off the alcohol. I know you can pay it but for the life of me stop picking bar fights.

I only have so many tables.

...

This isn't mine, so i shouldn't be writing in this.

I was just  curious, is all.

I hope you read this in the morning Sans.

...

I love you.

[The page has a red stain in the shape of an upside-down heart on it. It smells vaguely of wine]

Chapter Text

i just don't have the energy... right now.

i really can't say anything new to anyone.

my past selves were...

so much happier...

even when it didn't seem that way.

i don't get why grillby likes me (does he?)

papyrus can bounce back, right?

...

does dust clean better on carpet or mattress fabric?

Chapter Text

"since going underground, each flower we managed to salvage has gained a different meaning. "

"Our echo flowers our native to the underground, with the properties of remembering and echoing phrases said to it. Their meaning is Rememberence."

"Sans, what do the golden flowers mean?"

"the golden flowers in new home and the tea we drink symbolize hope; they were brought here in the act of hope of 20XX when the fallen human was killed."

"Very good! Now, for your project today, you are going to draw your own flower and give it a meaning!"

[A bunch of rough sketches are on the page. there is a circled one that loosly resembles an amaryllis with a green and blue color pallette]

undying love - the flower grows from dust, often planted in urns of loved ones to symbolize a love that won't die

...

thats stupid.

but im to tired to choose something more philosophical.

Chapter Text

grades are due today, alphys said. i don't have the best grades, with having to slip school a bunch...

i don't have parents who care, though! i don't have parents at all, fun fact. good for me, i guess. i wish paps had a normal life though

i wish he didn't have to grow up like this. he isn't as fucked up as some may expect, though, so thats a plus i guess. if i knew anything about our parents, i would tell him in a heartbeat, but its all static.

"history, a... maths, a-... science, a... language, b-... pe, c-... not the worst, i guess."

"Better Maths than me."

alphys got a b in math

math is weird and doesn't make sense, anyways

Chapter Text

my father is back.

what the fuck. what do i do.

he looks all goopy and shit- gross it feels goopy too

[the page has black ink stains.]

☟︎☜︎☹︎🏱︎ ☟︎☜︎☹︎🏱︎ ☟︎☜︎☹︎🏱︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎ ✞︎⚐︎✋︎👎︎ ✋︎💧︎ 😐︎✋︎☹︎☹︎✋︎☠︎☝︎ 💣︎☜︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✋︎💧︎ 💣︎✡︎ 💧︎⚐︎☠︎ 🏱︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✋︎💧︎ 💣︎✡︎ 👎︎✌︎🕆︎☝︎☟︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ 💧︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✋︎💧︎ 💣︎✡︎ 👎︎✌︎🕆︎☝︎☟︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ 🕈︎☟︎⚐︎ ✋︎💧︎ ❄︎☟︎✋︎💧︎ 💧︎😐︎☜︎☹︎☜︎❄︎⚐︎☠︎ ☟︎☜︎ ✋︎💧︎ ☠︎⚐︎❄︎ 💣︎✡︎ 👎︎✌︎🕆︎☝︎☟︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ 🕈︎☟︎✌︎❄︎ ✋︎💧︎ ☟︎☜︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✋︎💧︎ 💧︎☟︎☜︎ ✋︎ ☠︎☜︎☜︎👎︎ 💣︎✡︎ 👍︎☟︎✋︎☹︎👎︎☼︎☜︎☠︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✌︎☼︎☜︎ 💣︎✡︎ 👍︎☟︎✋︎☹︎👎︎☼︎☜︎☠︎ 🏱︎☹︎☜︎✌︎💧︎☜︎ ☝︎⚐︎👎︎ 💧︎✌︎✞︎☜︎ 💣︎☜︎ ☞︎☼︎⚐︎💣︎ ❄︎☟︎✋︎💧︎ 👎︎✌︎💣︎☠︎✌︎❄︎✋︎⚐︎☠︎ ✌︎☠︎👎︎ ☝︎✋︎✞︎☜︎ 💣︎☜︎ 💣︎✡︎ 👍︎☟︎✋︎☹︎👎︎☼︎☜︎☠︎📬︎

📬︎📬︎📬︎

💣︎✡︎ 🕈︎✋︎☞︎☜︎📬︎📬︎📬︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✋︎💧︎ 💣︎✡︎ 🕈︎✋︎☞︎☜︎📬︎📬︎📬︎

💧︎☟︎☜︎💧︎ ☝︎⚐︎☠︎☜︎📫︎ 👍︎✋︎☠︎☪︎☜︎☹︎ ✋︎💧︎ ☝︎⚐︎☠︎☜︎✍︎ ✋︎ 👎︎⚐︎☠︎❄︎ 🕆︎☠︎👎︎☜︎☼︎💧︎❄︎✌︎☠︎👎︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✋︎💧︎ 💣︎✡︎ 👍︎✋︎☠︎☪︎☜︎☹︎

[Check notes 4 translations]

geez- wtf is that? im gonna go try to translate, i can make out some letters...

Chapter Text

[The handwriting is Grillbys.]

Ah- this is the book he writes in. Hello, Journal.

He is in a predicament where he isn't trusted alone, so this has led to the two of us stuck in my house under the bar until the morning.

(Papyrus was training with Undyne and it turned into a sleepover.)

We haven't done much, just hanging out on the couch.

Sans also isn't allowed strings on clothing, and refuses to take out the drawstrings of his hoodie, so he is without his jacket. He appears... cold. Maybe thats why he's huddled against me.

He stills looks cold... if i-

...

Okay, we are situated now. Sans is now on my lap with his back to the couch, dozing off, with me laying on my back facing up.

I think I may doze off too...

After make sure Sans won't leave, of course...

Sans' voice sounds... odd. It's much higher than normal, like almost as high as the shopkeeper, Honette, or Undyne... It's sleeptalking, though, so that could be a bit of the problem. I'm not sure.

It's almost tomorrow , wow.

That's not a good "wow".

I'll go back to bed...

Chapter Text

geez... i really don't enjoy this headache...

i fuckin hate them...

why am i here

jeez i didnt know skeletons bled

"SANS WAke up"

"ima wake.."

"saanns____

[writibg trails off. the next like is barely legible besides the few words]

///// /////// hospitalizati///// //////////ental asy//////// ///no journal///// /////no nothing/////

////apyrus will/////// saf/////ce /////ont w///ry at a///.

...

[Handwriting is Papyrus']

See you soon, Sans.

Stay safe.

Chapter Text

gyftmas is coming up.

thats scary.

honestly, i still need to find gifts for people. papyrus' is done, alphys' is picked out, just need to pick it up, but i still need to get a present for grillbz, muffet, undyne, and-

and

and

uh

i guess just those three are all. i may just have paps pick out undynes while we are out.

oh yeah.

we are going shopping in a sec, to get the presents

"WHY IS THERE SO MUCH RED?"

"what?"

"ALL THE RED FEELS EXCESSIVE."

"for decorations? yeah.."

"WHAT SHOULD I GET UNDYNE?"

"dont know, you'll figure it out, 'know ya can."

i saw this really cool glass ornament thing, it's all multicolored like fire, but pinkier. grillby would like it, so i bought it.

paps had run off to go check something, but be ran back and grabbed my sweater.

"SANS!! I FOUND A GIFT FOR UNDYNE!!!"

"really? 'ight, lets see it."

he showed me this really badass practice sword. it was pretty big, probably reached my mid-ribs. undynes nearly my height, though, so thats fine.

muffets turn.

me and muffet surprisingly get along. i help her in language, she helps me with my social skills. i have shit social skills, and she cant really speak well. language is hard for lots of monsters, really.

[AN: language because not all monsters speak english]

i found her this nice blanket at a shop. its purple and black stripes, which suits her. her spiders like the fabric too, i believe.

that was enough socializing today. time to make dinner for paps and konk out..

Chapter Text

sorry everyone.

im really not in a good mental state right now, so this is postponed until further notice.

bye lovelies <3

Chapter Text

[the handwriting... whos is it?]

how far can i go until i break?

how much blood can one human shed until they don't have any left?

im sorry

this- its done.

no more.

[ah. that makes sense. its mine]

no more chapters.