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“Why are you trying so hard to be something you’re not?”
Peter turns his head to Michael, who he assumes is talking to him in this room of two. His expression turning from a blank stare to a confused.. almost sad look.
“What’s all this about?” Peter questioned with a slight sense of anger.
“You know exactly what this is about” Michael yelled, his eyes looking glossy as he walked over to Peter on the bed, sitting next to him. “Even when he’s angry he still finds a way to look so elegant” Peter thought to himself.
“If this is about me messing up on the intro to-“
“No it’s not that.. it’s…” Peter noticed Michael was looking away from him, hiding the fact that he was very much crying. He felt his heart ache a little when he realised what Michael meant.
“Oh…” Peter scooted closer to him on the other side of the bed, placing a hand on his trembling back.
“Why is it that you are always so distant with me when we’re out in public. Are you ashamed of me or something?” Michael’s voice became increasingly more strained as he kept trying to fight the tears. But as soon as Peter had the time to reply, Michael cut him off.
“Oh are you ashamed cause you don’t want your other buddies knowing you’re a queer?” He let out in a frustrated scream. Michael was broken beyond anything Peter had seen before. His body was visibly shaking, eyes puffy and red, yet he still looked so unbelievably gorgeous in the dim lighting. His facial features perfectly framed. It was hard to take in what he was saying because he was so distracting, but when he finally did, he froze.
“How did you know?”
“Because I’m not dumb like you apparently think I am” Michael pouts slightly, laying back on the bed that creaked as he did.
“I thought you said you were open to helping me find myself?” Peter uttered under his breath, laying next to the smaller man.
“What does that have to do with this? I’m talking about how..” his body starts to shake again “how you don’t even seem to love me”. This comment made Peter feel queasy in his stomach, like he was going to pass out from all the overwhelming emotions. He was never overly emotional like this. He always opted for hiding them but around Michael.. it was different. He felt like his world was crashing down upon him and… he felt something dripping from his eyes… was he crying?
He sure was. There was no mistaking the familiar sting of tears, the pain of his body’s salt supply seeming extra sharp at this moment. He knew his tears were probably more concentrated from blinking them away when he had let his guard down far enough to almost cry, but this time he couldn’t do such a thing. Part of himself was convinced it was his body’s punishment for bringing Michael the same pain.
“I…”
“Peter Lawrence Buck, don’t you dare say you love me. You had all the time before to let that be known to everyone else!”
“I was going to say I’m sorry. And I do love you, I just-“
“Just what?”
“I just need time”.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“I just need time” WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??? Michael felt a whirlwind of emotions build up inside him at this moment to the point of overstimulation. Having to squeeze one of the many pillows scattered around the bed to calm him down.
He didn’t know whether or not he hated Peter. Well actually.. he knew he didn’t hate Peter, because he never could. Michael was never one to hate.. he was practically a beaming light of love. He was just upset, and he could tell Peter was too.
“Look at me” Michael demanded, making Peter shiver a little. Peter found it strangely hot when Michael was so direct like this. “I’ve been in your place, my dear petey… oh”. He then notices Peter’s tears. He was hurting like he made Michael hurt. He should’ve been happy about that, right? He was getting what he deserved! But all Michael felt was a deep pit growing in his stomach.
“Why are you crying?” he asked before gingerly placing a hand on Peter’s shoulder.
“Because you make me feel so…”
“So what?”
"So…" Peter was choking on his words now. The burning sensation in his throat was growing as he tried not to break down again. Michael’s eyes went wide. A part of him wanted to slap the other man in the face for what he’d done, but the other wanted to comfort him. To hold him close, so their bodies felt nothing but the warmth of each other. But he just couldn’t do it. Before Michael could do anything, he also started to cry once again.
Peter realised this, and quickly tried to blink his tears away. He wanted to stabilise himself so he could concentrate on comforting Michael, not realising he was the one who also needed comforting. They laid there in silence for a couple minutes. The sound of their light sniffles along with the trickling rain from outside made for a rather depressing soundscape. Michael could almost hear it. The sound of the piano organ playing melodic chords as violins slowly harmonized. He imagined them laying in a forest of dead trees and grass. Dark clouds covering any light that could possibly shine through. Any sign of hope. Peter could see it too.. he saw the lack of light as a lack of understanding in their relationship. He wanted a second chance.
And there Peter was laying next to him. His watery eyes staring back at him. He noticed peter’s hand inching closer to him.. more images flooded his mind now as the warmth of Peter’s hand met the smooth skin of his left cheek.
“I.. I’m sorry” Michael managed to let out.
“This isn’t your fault..”
“You’re not the only one who’s been acting selfish yknow…” Michael sniffles a little as he collects his words.
“But I’m the whole reason this is even-“
Peter was cut off by michaels lips connecting with his. It was unexpected but.. appreciated. It wasn’t forced. It was slow yet tender. Michael let his lips brush against Peter’s cheek as he pulled away. Sending full body shivers down the other man.
“I didn’t think I realised how hard this is for you.. seeing your tears it.. it made me want to understand” Michael let out in a low whisper. Their faces close enough that Peter could feel his shaky breathes hit his face.
“I want to understand.. you…” Peter was trying to figure out what to say as he let his hands travel to michaels waist, caressing it slowly.
“I’m quite complex, aren’t I?~” Michael teases as he playfully kissed the other man’s neck.
“Mister John Michael stipe you are one dirty rascal~”
“Says you..”
“Oh shut it!”
Michael then rolled over so he was on top of Peter, his light curls covering his face however Peter could still see his cheeky grin. They both chuckled dryly before noticing that something was.. changing.
They both started to notice a change in the images they saw in their minds. The gloomy grey clouds that covered the sky started to shift, revealing a big yellow circular beam of light. The sun. Before they could fully process that though, they soon noticed the ground beneath them changing too. The grass changed from discoloured and brittle to a lively green.
Flowers started to appear too. Growing and blooming all around. It was blissful. It was beautiful. It was hopeful.
This was their second chance.