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Rebecca woke up the day after she met Theodore Lasso to find not one, but three new tattoos—a whole soulmate cluster—on the inside of her right elbow, right above the bend. What the actual fuck.
She scrambled for her phone, very aware it was five in the bloody morning, but well—needs must. She flicked a light on, soft light illuminating her face as the other two people she was calling grumpily answered the phone.
“Stinky, you better be fucking dying,” Sassy grumbled, swiping a hand over her face and fumbling for her glasses on the bedside table. “But if you are actually dying, I’m still going to be fucking mad. And I’ll sic Nora on you.”
“Rebecca, I love you, you know I do, but it’s not even light out, for fuck’s sake,” Keeley whined, sleep-rumpled and gorgeous even as a tiny image on Rebecca’s screen.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry, I know—ah, actually…”
“Rebecca Victoria Welton, so help me god if you are about to hang up, I will cut you some fringe in your sleep like I did that time when we were twelve,” Sassy said through a jaw-cracking yawn.
Rebecca hesitated slightly, her throat suddenly closing up, and she could practically feel her friends snap to with alertness, fixated on their phone screens.
“Darling, what is it? D’you need me to come over?” Keeley said, gently, arms reaching for a nearby sweater, as she pulled it on and typed furiously on her phone. “Sass, I’ve just looked up trains and there’s one in an hour that gets you into Richmond around 9am.”
Rebecca could cry with how loved she felt in that moment, and tried to get it together and explain.
“No, I—no,” Rebecca choked out, clearing her throat slightly. “I’m so sorry to worry you, I’m fine, promise, I just…I...fuck, why don’t I just show you, one second.”
The camera flipped around, and both Keeley and Sassy stared at one another on the FaceTime screen, brows furrowed.
“Honey, what are we looking at—oh.”
Oh, indeed. That January morning, a fresh tattoo—technically a little cluster of them, but they were all counted as one complete tattoo—appeared overnight, as if by magic, on the bodies of four people. Some had known each other for a while, some had just met the previous day, and all of them were completely perplexed and at a loss to explain how or why the tattoo suddenly appeared where it did, when it did, and what it would mean for them. They all racked their brains, trying to think of who they had met the previous day that would have caused this to appear.
Oh, shit.
Rebecca and Keeley were the first to figure it out. After Rebecca’s early morning phone call, Keeley had ended up coming over, still clad in the pajamas that she had worn to bed the night before. Both women called in sick to work, opting for a day of cozy clothes, lit candles, and copious amounts of tea and wine.
Even though it would inevitably swim on her, Keeley wanted to borrow one of Rebecca’s cashmere sweaters, and she had unabashedly stripped her shirt off in Rebecca’s room, throwing it to the floor. She missed the choked noise that came out of her friend’s mouth, and was startled to feel a hand on her wrist, gripping tightly.
“Babe?”
Rebecca had a weird look on her face, one that Keeley couldn’t quite place, and Keeley was struck by an urge to smooth out the worry lines that congregated between Rebecca’s eyes, to kiss them gone. She felt herself being slowly turned around and then pushed toward the full length mirror that Rebecca had in the corner of her bedroom.
“Rebecca, what is going on—oh.”
A soulmate tattoo, nearly identical to the one resting on Rebecca’s inner elbow, was placed neatly on the outside of Keeley’s right hip bone. She didn’t know how she hadn’t noticed it before standing in front of her best friend, her secret crush, but…life was a bitch, sometimes.
Keeley looked up from her hip, locking eyes with Rebecca in the mirror with not a small amount of trepidation, and whatever she saw in Rebecca’s eyes made her relax slightly.
“Why don’t we go and get comfortable, darling?” Rebecca said quietly, so nice about it that Keeley wanted to cry.
“Bed or sofa?”
“Bed, please,” Keeley said quietly, eyes fixated on her new body art.
Ten minutes later, the women were in fresh pajamas, snuggled up in Rebecca’s bed, covered in a mound of fuzzy blankets. Keeley’s hand was resting on her hip bone, thumb swiping under the waistband of her joggers, tracking the spot where her new tattoo was. They both fell asleep, dozing on and off for the better part of the morning.
“What do we do now?” Keeley asked plaintively, and Rebecca pulled her best friend into her side comfortingly, still a little fuzzy after their early morning nap.
Rebecca avoided Keeley’s gaze, fully aware that she had told the petite woman she was going to sleep and instead spent half the time in an internet rabbit hole researching soulmate tattoos and magical bonds.
“Well, from all I’ve read—” Keeley sighed heavily, not surprised, and pressed her lips together, nodding for Rebecca to continue.
“Our tattoos are identical—thanks for sending me that photo, by the way, it was easier to compare the two—and the other two pieces of the overall tattoo cluster denote that there are two other people that we could potentially be linked to,” Rebecca trailed off, her mouth going dry at the thought.
Keeley shuddered slightly, burrowing into Rebecca’s shoulder, and pulling the duvet more securely over them.
“So…we might have…two more members in our fucked up soul bond polycule, is that right?” Keeley sounded slightly on edge, and Rebecca fought the urge to reprimand.
Just because Rebecca secretly had always dreamed of having a soulmate tattoo didn’t mean her friend wasn’t struggling with the concept. Thank god she had bonded with Keeley and not Rupert. The thought made her snort quietly which soon turned into full on belly laughs as the blonde fought to get her emotions under control.
Once she had managed to pull herself together and explain to Keeley why she was basically losing her whole mind, the laughter started again in earnest at the thought of Rebecca ever soul bonding with Rupert—nightmare fuel.
Ted hunched over in his desk chair, pulled his sleeve down and tried not to be conspicuous, which of course meant that he was conspicuous. He could feel Beard’s eyes on him from across the room, and he flashed his longtime friend a weak grin to which Beard rolled his eyes, sighed, and picked up his book once more.
He was just going to absolutely ignore the fact that a soulmate tattoo had popped up on his forearm overnight, right as he was about to start a new job, a new life, away from his wi—away from Henry.
The newly-minted manager saw his star striker, Jamie Tartt, gather his things to leave the locker room, and he bolted out of his chair, calling Jamie into the office.
After a quick conversation with the young man, Ted rested his hands in his trouser pockets, blissfully unaware that his shirt sleeves had ridden up to expose the delicate tattoo at the base of his wrist. He was broken out of his slight reverie by an exclamation from Jamie as the young striker called out to a bare-chested Roy who sauntered through the locker room.
“Hey granddad,” Jamie called out, causing Roy to grit his teeth as he rushed toward Jamie. Jamie, quick as a flash, scampered behind Ted, and Beard lowered his book to the top of his desk, eyes flicking from Ted to Roy curiously.
“You and the new gaffer get matching tattoos or summat?”
Roy stopped in his tracks, anger morphing into confusion.
“What are you on about now, you absolute bellend?”
Jamie elaborated, gesturing to Roy who was doing…something with his eyebrows, vaguely reminiscent of a charging bull that Ted had once seen at a rodeo with his grandpa in Texas one summer.
Ted glanced at Beard, hoping he would provide the definition of “bellend” after this little tête-à-tête.
“Noticed it when we were in the showers, got something on the back of your right shoulder. I thought it were just dirt or something, right? I mean, I did make you eat shit at trainin,’ Jamie said with a smirk as he swiftly exited the coaches’ office, going the other way to avoid a fuming Roy.
The coaches office fell silent, with the rest of the team having trickled out of the locker room and headed home to get some shut-eye after a three-a-day training session. Coach Beard passed some snacks across the top of the desk in Ted’s direction, and went back to his book, as Roy and Ted continued to stare at each other, willing the other one to say something first.
The silence was broken by footsteps in the hallway—two pairs of heels clipping along in unison as they headed toward the locker room.
Keeley drew in a sharp breath, nudging Rebecca’s arm furiously, directing her friend to the intricate tattoo on Roy’s shoulder.
“Oh, fuck me,” Rebecca muttered under her breath, and Roy swung around, still clad in his towel, and saluted as his eyes sparkled at Rebecca, only for her.
“What can I do ya for, boss?” Ted said, hastily pulling down his shirt sleeves and shoving his hands back in his pockets.
“We need to talk—all four of us.”
“So…lemme see if I’ve gathered the way ya drifted,” Ted said, dazed, slumped in his desk chair.
Rebecca and Keeley had pulled up chairs from the adjoining office and Roy was freshly dressed in his usual dark heather charcoal, arms crossed and leaning against the closed office door.
“We all—” Ted swallowed heavily, gesturing at Rebecca, Keeley, and Roy.
(His boss, his new friend, and a player who currently hated his guts. Awesome.)
“Uh,” Ted tried again, raising his right hand to scratch at the back of his neck as he closed his eyes for a second, missing three people’s gazes raking over him and the very visible tattoo on his wrist.
“So, we all woke up this morning with the same kinda tattoo just appearing overnight, and this means…what, exactly?”
Ted was a little fuzzy on tattoo meanings—his college elective on tattoos and other magical bonds had been…a while ago. The four newly-tattooed individuals jumped slightly—even Roy—as Beard cleared his throat, tossing his book down (carefully) onto the desk. The bearded coach steepled his hands under his chin and sighed.
“I take it none of you know much about soulmate tattoos?”
Nobody breathed, gazes flickering around nervously. Beard quickly enlightened them—the tattoos would only form when the first person to form the tattoo (Ted) met the last person in the polycule (Keeley).
In the beginning phases, the tattoo-bearers would have to stay physically close to recharge the bond, as it were, or the tattooed areas would start to sting uncomfortably, with the pain increasing the further the distance grew between all parties.
Ted’s eyes swung to Beard’s immediately as a thousand questions swirled in his brain. He remembered how Beard and his college boyfriend were glued to the hip sophomore year, and then…well, he had attended a funeral in a borrowed suit, wanting to support his grieving best friend.
Beard nodded at him so minutely that Ted was sure the others didn’t catch it, and a grim expression took hold of Ted’s face. He never was a good poker player, and he dropped his gaze down to his desk, mulling everything over.
“It’s not unbearable, but it’s not pleasant if you separate for too long,” Beard explained calmly. “Think of the beginning proximity requirements as recharging your batteries or filling your car with gas.”
“You’re lucky it’s almost the weekend and we don’t have a match until next week. You can hunker down and figure things out. I’m sure by the start of the week, your bond will have settled, but I can reach out to some old friends and get some confirmation and anecdotal evidence if you need.”
After that speech—Ted was quite sure it was the most the other three had heard Beard speak in the short time they’d known each other—Beard saluted his best buddy, grabbed his backpack, and headed home.
Ted spoke up, words tumbling out of his throat as if out of his control.
“Uh, Coach?”
Beard turned around with an inscrutable expression on his face.
“Yeah, Coach?”
“How come you never said anything about this before? I mean, what if Michelle and I had soulmate tattoos?”
Beard raised an eyebrow, and Ted plowed on, voice quieter this time.
“Why do you think Michelle and I didn’t have them, Beard-o?”
Beard considered his audience for a moment, and then just decided to take the plunge.
“Maybe because you knew deep down she wasn’t the one,” Beard said simply. “Plus, you know, you’re so bisexual it’s honestly hilarious you ever thought you were straight.”
Beard took his leave, plunging the coaches office into silence. Ted was the one who finally made a move, slapping his hands on his knees like the Midwestern dad that he was, and groaning dramatically as he stood up from his chair.
Keeley giggled in the background, and Ted was glad he had (sort of) confirmation that he and Keeley were two birds of a feather, as it were. Roy and Rebecca would be the harder nuts to crack, but like his mama always used to say, gotta dip tough cookies in milk to soften ‘em up. He was mixing up his folksy idioms, but whatever.
“Look…practice—training, whatever—is over for the day. Maybe we should all go somewhere more private than a smelly locker room, and talk?” Ted said confidently, losing steam toward the end of his sentence as green eyes bored into his. He gulped, feeling heat rise in his chest.
The foursome quickly left Nelson Road, carpooling with Rebecca to her house, stopping at Ted’s flat on the way so he could pick up some overnight things. Keeley and Roy—on purpose, and completely by accident—both had sets of their belongings at Rebecca’s.
“Roy helped Rebecca get her groove back, after the divorce,” Keeley whispered to Ted while she helped him pack up his things and Roy and Rebecca stood awkwardly in the living room. Ted’s eyebrows rose, another puzzle piece slotting into place.
“So I’m the odd one out here, is what you’re saying?” Ted tried to get a read on the younger woman, but she was proving trickier than he initially thought. He liked that about her.
“Nah, we’re both in the same boat, babe,” Keeley said cheerfully as she folded a stack of teeshirts for Ted, setting them neatly on the top of his dresser.
“I mean, have I fantasized about both of them at various points in my life? Yes. Has anything ever happened with either of them? No. But…this recent development changes things, for all of us, don’t you think?”
Keeley focused her attention on Ted and he squirmed under her wide-eyed and intense gaze.
“Ted,” she said quietly, moving over to him. They could both hear Roy and Rebecca chatting in the other room through the slightly ajar bedroom door.
“This is probably…I mean, we haven’t known each other that long, but I’m sure this brings up feelings for you, too. Would you…tell me about your wife?”
Ted snorted, raising one hand to smooth over his mustache.
“Well, I’ll tell ya one thing, she wouldn’t appreciate you calling her “my wife,” anymore,” Ted said with a hint of bitterness. Keeley’s gaze softened in understanding, and her hand hovered over his arm, hesitating slightly before connecting with the warmed fabric of his shirt sleeves.
“I took this job because she said she wanted space, but I—I never wanted this separation, and I think it’s done her a world of good. I don’t think she wants to go back. So this—” he said, gesturing wildly. “Won’t really be a problem, you know?”
“Well,” Keeley said softly. “I know this situation is…mildly insane, but I need you to know that I do not intend on being your rebound relationship, Theodore Lasso, so we can all take our time with things and support you however we can.”
Ted could feel the slight pressure of Keeley’s hand on his arm, and he felt her hesitate for a second before she hauled herself up on her tiptoes to gently kiss him on the cheek, swiping away a bit of lipstick with her thumb. Ted’s cheek tingled in anticipation.
Yes, he basically just met these people, and yes, he was technically still married, but if they were really and truly his soulmates (damn tattoos), then he would continue working on his shit in therapy—no thanks to his former couple’s counselor who shall not be named. Ted would have continued therapy regardless, but this new situation was even more of a reason to unpack some more feelings.
“All set?” Rebecca’s voice rang out from the hallway, and both Ted and Keeley instinctively turned, like a sunflower towards the light. They both nodded mutely, and Ted gestured for Keeley to go first.
The mustached man shouldered his duffel bag and flicked off his bedroom light. He vaguely felt like he had as a child, a bag slung over his shoulder, going off on an adventure in the nearby woods or something. Instead of making an obstacle course with fallen logs and filmy tree branches, though, Ted would be embarking on the mortifying ordeal of being known by three strangers-turned-soulmates. Lovely.