Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

SCRATCH SCRATCH

As soon as Belos was deemed dead and the portal collapsed in on itself, all hunter could really feel was the itch on his wrist.

His skin crawled with animosity and sorrow. Begging to be pulled apart by him. 

It’s been almost a month since they arrived in the human realm. Everyone all slowly recovering and letting their guards down bit by bit, well, everyone but Hunter.

He’s still a bit stuck on that day, the day everything went wrong, the day where he had to watch his uncle The Emperor become nothing more than splat on the wall.

His stomach twists in disgust for feeling any amount of grief for his abuser. For someone who hurt him, his friends, and so many others. But he feels like admitting that will turn everyone against him in a mere second. 

So, he’s left sitting alone in his mixed feelings. The itch on his wrist grows. The wrist Belos branded permanently on him, the Emperor's Coven sigil on. A sigil of lies. A sigil of despair and pointless death. He feels the itch growing greater and greater. He scratches away at it, hoping for it to stop.

It doesn’t. He scratches harder

“Hey.”

Someone says pulling him away from his thoughts. He turns around. Oh it’s Amity.

Feeling a slight bit of relief mixed with annoyance for bothering him.    

“What are you doing here all alone?” He looks around his new room and acknowledges the empty place he's sat himself in.  

He looks down at the red bloody wrist, he pulls the sweater down on it, ignoring the lingering itch.

“Just thinking.”

Is all he can really say. He turns to face the floor in front of him, hoping she would leave at this answer.

“About what?”

She says to his surprise. He doesn’t want to tell her, and he feels a bit exhausted to make up a lie. He just wants her to leave. 

“Oh you know…stuff.”

An awkward silence fills the room. He feels inclined to keep picking at his skin to ease the stiff atmosphere. He didn’t hear her walk back up the stairs she’s just standing there in silence. Increasing the awkwardness.

“Um…” he breaks the silence after a couple of seconds

“Did you need something??”

He turns around again. Blight doesn’t usually waste her time on pointless conversations unless she has something she wants to say. He took note of thatg during their first exchange at the Eclipse Lake. 

“Oh uh! It’s your turn to shower. Camila asked me to give you a towel.” she shot up to hand him a light blue towel

“Oh okay” He sits up off the floor and makes his way up the staircase. A bit confused on why she didn’t just say that earlier but discards it. Amity hands him the towel and he’s about the leave. 

”Are you okay?” She asks. He stops, three steps above her.

No, I’m not.

“Huh? Why do you ask?”. a quick response, he expected that.

He looks up but doesn’t turn his head to face her.

“It’s just that, it feels like you're in your head a lot lately. You barely talk these days, and you just sit alone in this basement all quiet. The others are starting to get a bit worried”

The itch grows, he pulls down his sleeve down harder to cover it.

When he was in the Emperor’s Coven, whenever felt anxious or upset he would go quiet and barely move or talk. To him, this was an escape. He was always being quiet so nobody got too suspicious. Detaching from the real world made him more comfort in himself; it made hiding feel safer. 

Then he remembered. He got to show off a different side of him that he always wanted to show. A side of him that nobody in that castle, including the Emperor bothered to see. The part he tried to hide. So everyone got a chance to see the real him. The real hunter, The chatty and smiley side. But after The Day Of Unity he was slowly starting to slip into his old habits. Detaching himself from conversations to let his thoughts go on loop. But he forgot that his friends actually pay attention.

This, of course, makes him feel a bit bad for making them worry.

“I’m okay. I’m sorry for making you worry about me.”

He knows that’s not the truth, but can he ever bring himself to say that to his friends? Can he even call them friends?  They've all been through so much, he would hate himself even more if he added on to that with his measly problems.

“Are...are you sure..? " she asks as if telling would be so easy

He slowly turns around to face her.

He takes notice of the doubt on her face.

He smiles, “I promise, there’s nothing to worry about.”

He finally leaves the staircase leaving Amity to just stand there with her concern.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The faucet turns on, warm water flows out of the shower head into the tub. The warm air fills up the bathroom.

He sighs in defeat. He  starts to take off his clothes.

As he is disrobing, he stares at his body in the mirror. His body tainted with scars. The scars he got fighting pointless battles.

A long burn scar on his left hip he got from his training days, he was battling other scouts, even though he won, like expected, they managed to get a hit in.

Another long scar wrapping around his body from the top of his stomach to his mid back, he got that one from fighting a group of covenless witches, innocent witches. People who just wanted to live. He won, obviously, but that doesn’t make it any better. All of these “achievements meant nothing in the end.

a thick scar around his abdomen, 12 on his left arm 9 on his right. 23 hand scars in total, claw marks on his back, so many scars the golden guard "earned" from his rigorous training days. 

And of course, the big one.

The one where Belos was having another outburst. It didn't help that Hunter was ranting that day about trivial matters, He was being annoying, he deserved it.

He leans closer to the mirror tracing his finger against his face, running it down to his throat. That one forever shaped his picture of the Emperor. He remembers the look of terror on the other scouts face when he came in. He wasn't allowed to see healers.

While staring at his face he notices how long his hair has gotten. When he came here it was pretty short, it was a buzz cut. But now, only after a month of being in the human realm, it’s grown to shoulder length.

Caleb…had shoulder length hair.

An anger boils inside him, Something about the comparison makes him angry. He didn’t ever want to compared to him. Ever.

He looks around frantically to find something to cut it off with. And there it was.
A conveniently placed pair of red scissors,

Before he could start cutting, his wrist started to itch again. He stares down onto that sigil. The mark that started all of his pain.

He feels angry. He feels disgusting. He feels used 

This sigil was one of lies, one of misfortune, a mark of death. 

He stares.

He closes the scissors but doesn’t drop them. Instead, he brings the point of the blade to his wrist.

The itch grows and grows becoming nearly insufferable to deal with.

Instead of aimlessly scratching away, he comes up with a new solution, a better solution.

He breathes in. He breathes out Angry tears form and roll down his face.

“I hate you.” He takes a sharp breath.

-------------------------------------------

Drip….Drip

Oh no. What has he done? Why did do this? It hurts. Everything hurts. His golden emblem slashed with his disgusting blood. Can it even be called blood? What happens now? Does he tell someone? What would they say? Would they yell at him? Cry for him? How would they look at him? He can’t tell them. They’ve all been through so much. It’d be selfish to burden them with this. DONT YOU DARE TELL ANYONE H-

“Hunter!! It’s time for dinner!!” A voice says pulling him away from his thoughts. 

He quickly grabs bandages from out of the mirror, other things falling out. He puts dozens around his wrist so nobody can see, hands shaking and his breath getting heavier.

“Hunter? You good bud?”

Drip...drip..

“…Uh, Yeah! Coming!” He shouted back.

He turns off the shower that he didn’t get a chance to go in, and puts his fresh clothes on. They're cosmic frontier designed. Gus must have picked them out for him.

It doesn't hurt as much as other injuries and he didn’t cut as deep.

A part of him feels relieved.

The itching finally stopped.

Chapter Text

“What’s this??” Gus asked while opening one of the tiny white boxes and moved slightly closer to sniff.

“That is crab rangoon!” Camila answers with a smile taking another little box out the bag and onto the smile. “Since I came home late..we’re eating take-out!” 

Upon hearing this Gus inhaled excessively .  “Who did you have to take out?…” he spat leaning away with a look of disgust mixed with fear.

“No uh…never mind” she gave up. Willow had to explain to him what ‘take out’ was. She spots Amity walking back up the stairs. 

“Oh hello Amity.” Camila said, waving with a smile and a nod. 

“Hi Ms Luz! Uh I- I mean Ms Noceda! I mean Mrs Camila!” Then shutting up immediately and turning away in shame, Being around her girlfriend's mother, she wanted to make a good first impression on her. But she’s been a blushy mess since the moment they met. Instead of looking confused like Amity expects, she simply laughs. “Haha, you don’t have to be so nervous Amity. ” placing a hand on her shoulder giving her a thumbs up. Amity nearly cries at that gesture. 

Luz walks in with Vee and spots Amity. “Sweet potato! Giving her a  spinning hug and kiss on the cheek. That’s a normal gesture between the two. 

“Hey! Cut it with the PDA!” Gus chimed in jokingly. Luz and Amity laughing with smug faces. 

Camila claps her hands. “Alright gangs all here, let’s eat!” 

“Wait!” Willow said, hands in the air. “Hunters not here.” Saying this made Vee shift uncomfortably. 

“Oh right! Gus chimed in. “Amity u talked to him right?”

“Um.. yeah I did.” Her glance looking away.

“Did he uh,say anything?” Willow asked in a softer tone. 

“Not really...I tried to talk to him, but he shut me down.” She said, shrugging her shoulders with a annoyed sigh. 

“Oh.”

A uncomfortable silence fills the air. Everyone was on edge since the portal collapsed. But Hunter seems practically neurotic and spacey lately. 

“Well, I’ll go grab him!” Luz said, trying to distract the others from their concerns. She knows a part of why Hunter is being so dismissive of confrontation. He doesn’t really like to talk about himself. Especially when it’s about how he’s feeling. Belos hurt Hunter in ways she can’t even imagine. Even if he won’t admit it, he was suffering the hardest. 

Safe to say, he isn’t doing okay. But he will because Luz is here! She’ll make everything better! She has too. She needs to..

…

“Hunter!! It’s time for dinner!” 

A clattering noise muffled by the shower water comes out. 

Then silence 

…

“Hunter? U good bud?” She said leaning closer to the door in concern. What was he doing in there?  

"...."

"Uh Hunter..?

“U-uh..yea! Be right there!” 

..maybe she will wait for him. A couple minutes passed by and she starts to get a little worried. Then the door slowly opens.

“Hunter!” He jumps slightly not realizing she was waiting for him. “Hey bud, how’s my pittwin??”  She said using finger guns to help lighten the mood. “…Your what??”

“Pittwins! You know..cause we meet in the titans armpit..? And I kinda see as…nevermind. 

“Oh. Oh! Haha! I get it! Pittwins.. I like it” he returns to finger guns. Followed by some nervous laughter. Seeing this makes Luz smile. 

“Glad you like it! I just literally made that up like 5 seconds ago, anyway mom bought take out from one of my FAVORITE restaurants, and befroe you ask, no someone was not taken out, it's called 'take out' because-" Seeing Luz ramble like this made his heart soften. From the moment they’d met, she’s always been pretty talkative and bubbly. 

He figured after the day of unity, she’d be a bit sadder and less chatty like he has been. It’s nice to know some things never change. A part of him was jealous of her for not changing. It must be nice to smile and laugh so casually like that, to be honest with himself.. Or maybe she was faking. 

The itch grows. Hunter pulls down his sleeve.

“Come on! Mom brought Chinese! It's super good. we got Egg rolls their soooo yummy!”. She said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him. He winced in pain and quickly snatched his hand away.

“Hunter?” Luz said softly, turning around to face him. 

"S-Sorry! That’s just uh.. where the draining spell hit. It kinda hurts when you press too hard so..” 

Another lie. Seriously? First to Amity now to Luz. They’re supposed to be your friends. Why can’t you just talk to them? Why do you lie? 

“Oh..I’m sorry.” She said feeling a twinge of guilt for hurting her friend. “Have..have. you been hurting this entire time..?”

“No! No!” He raised his arms up in defense “It...only stings when I stretch too much. I’ve been avoiding it.. a- and I asked Ms Camila to help me relieve the pain. So it’s no worry. really. You couldn't have known, its not your fault.

 ....

Lie after lie. Have you no shame?

“Oh..well okay. Just tell us when it hurts, kay? You can always talk to us, you know?  We're your friends. We want to help."

“I know." 

"Cmon, lets go meet up with the rest."

“Oh they’re they are!” Willow says, pointing to the duo entering the dining room.

"Look who finally came out of his cave." Amity said jokingly. Hunter didn't catch the joke.

"I wasn't in a cave? I was in the basement, you just saw me?" "No ah,- nevermind."

“Oh Hunter! Come look over here” Augustus exclaims, waving over the table to come over.

Hunter sits down between Gus and Willow. Listening to Gus ramblings on his new knowledge of the food on the table. 

“That’s Krab Rainbow! It’s made up of real krabs ! Although I don't know how they put rainbows in there.  Oh! And this is a spring roll! I don’t know what they put in these but it’s super yummy they taste like griffin legs! Oh and these-“

“Calm down Gus!” Willow said laughing. “Let Hunter figure out the taste himself!” 

“Oh, sorry haha.” he shut his mouth and fidgeted embarrassingly.  

“So...what are these?” Hunter said trying to get Gus to talk again. Gus face immediately lights up.

An excited squeal escaped from Gus’s mouth. “Oh this is Shrimp! They belong in this realms sea that doesn’t boil and have little pincers that they snap so they can  talk to each other!!

“How does that work?” Amity inquired. 

“Okay so basically-“ Gus’s tangent continued. Willow enjoys these little moments. Moments where everyone just smiled. Moments when everyone just laughed without a care in the world. Gus was a bit sad lately, so seeing him ranting on about human things, stuff he loves was refreshing.  Everyone’s been on edge lately. They’ve all been getting used to their new environment. Trying to cope with their new home. It feels good to be a kid again. It feels good to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy.

“He’s very passionate about shrimp.” Willow said nudging Hunter and winking.

“Yea. You know Gus, he LOVES this place haha.”

Willow looks away from Gus and turns to Hunter, seeing him laugh was refreshing. He had a nice smile...she wants to see him happy. Out of everyone here, Hunter has had it the worst. Seeing him laugh and be a kid was... He deserves happiness.

She catches a glimpse of his wrist. A plethora of bandages around it with tiny bits of red beneath it. What happened? He  follows her eyes and stares at wrist. He pulls his sleeve down swiftly and puts his hand face down on the table.

"Hunter?" 

He tuned out her looks by turning away and facing Gus and continued listening to Gus's tirade. 

Hunter was is okay.

…right?