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********************~Don’t Be a Dick~********************
Dick was the second to find out, and Damian was not too far behind. Dick finding out was by accident, and he blamed himself when Damian figured it out too.
In all honestly, he had his suspicions after he stumbled in on an argument between the two men at the cave back when they were stuck together by their nanomite link. He could tell the tension they were emanating was a little beyond normal (1), then again, there was never really anything normal about the friendship those two had. In the end, Dick decided not to dwell on it any further. The idea of who Bruce was bumping in the night with was the last thing Dick wanted to think about. After that, the idea eventually disappeared into an afterthought as several months went by without another hint or mention of their relationship.
So when Dick did finally discover hard evidence to support his theory, it was purely by mistake. Then again, he kind of set himself up for it. Without even asking, he made his way to the cave. Tim had developed some software that Dick wanted to test on the Batcomputer. It had the ability to hijack surveillance devices, and Dick was preparing for a mission that involved hacking a pretty high security government facility. Dick knew for certain that if the tool worked on the Bat-mainframe, there was no way any government server would stack up.
“Bingo!” Dick laughed out triumphantly as he watched the program run its magic. He had to admit, even though he himself had some pretty impressive hacking skills, he was nowhere near the level of one IT genius, Timothy Drake.
‘So what would be the best test? Maybe I can hack Orcale’s comm?’
Dick smiled to himself before his scrolling stopped on the perfect target. ‘Barbara would be a challenge, but perhaps this even beefier system would be better.’ Dick couldn’t resist testing out the full capabilities of Tim’s new program and also there weren’t many times he was able to get the slip on Bruce.
When Dick saw that Bruce was now located at the Watchtower, his mind had been made up. Bruce always kept his comm link turned off when he was at the tower, save for distress signals and emergencies in which all members of the batclan knew the access code. Well, it wasn’t so much that the comm link was turned off, but more that the tower security system blocked most outside sources. In any case, if Dick wanted to reconnect Bruce’s link, he would have to go through both the Batcomputer and the tower’s security systems to accomplish this feat. Dick couldn’t even begin to imagine the look on Bruce’s face if he managed that, and that thought alone was what drove him.
As Dick began typing in the necessary algorithms, he silently cursed. This was going to be a lot tougher than he originally imagined. Luckily he knew just enough to help the program along its way. After several minutes, Dick let out another triumphant laugh. An array of pleasant beeps indicating his success went off before a deep familiar voice was suddenly heard over the computer.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s too risky.”
“And why not?” came the second voice. Dick immediately recognized the other person as Clark.
“You hardly know anything about these people,” Bruce replied.
“Well, I know Shiyah, and she vouches for them, so that’s good enough for me. Besides, when a friend asks for my help, how can I say no?”
There was a short pause before Bruce finally answered back. “Sometimes you are too trusting for your own good.”
Clark let out a sigh that bordered on a groan. “Of course you would say that.”
‘What a surprise, they’re arguing.’ Admittedly, Dick wasn’t interested at all in hearing another one of Bruce and Clark’s tryst. He figured he would only listen for a few minutes so he could get a few key details to relay back to Bruce as proof that he had indeed hacked his comm unit.
“Well, regardless of what I say, you’re going to do it. I don’t even know why you asked me my opinion, so here.”
For a moment there was just silence.
“What’s this?” Clark asked with genuine confusion.
“It’s all the information I gathered on the Torigians. Green Lantern was able to pull up some information for me such as details about their planet, the blueprints of prominent buildings, and some of the Torigian’s weaknesses,” Bruce replied flatly.
This time the pause was even longer than before, and Dick could just imagine Clark’s wide eye, mouth slightly agape, expression.
“You did this for me?”
There was no response.
“Bruce you’re the best! I could just kiss you,” Clark exclaimed, his appreciation clear in his tone.
Dick let out a bored sigh and started to reach for the disconnect button. He’d heard enough. The only thing less interesting than them arguing was them getting along.
“Okay,” Bruce replied back.
“Okay, what?” Clark questioned with noticeable confusion.
“Kiss me then.”
Dick’s finger suddenly stopped moving.
“H-here?” Clark stammered.
A small haughty sound could be heard over Bruce’s comm. “What’s wrong?”
“Anyone could walk by and see,” Clark answered nervously.
“Suddenly lost the nerve to take such a risk.” Dick’s jaw nearly dropped. He’d heard that tone in Bruce’s voice before, and he was almost positive the man was not joking. It was the same voice he used whenever he spurred his opponent into doing something reckless.
“Now that’s not fair! This isn’t the same,” Clark interjected his voice obviously annoyed.
“Oh? I see, I guess you are only inclined to take big risk when there’s a big fortunate pay off?” There was a drawn out silence. Finally Bruce let out a sigh and all the arrogance left his voice. “You see, that’s the point I am trying to make. The only difference is to me a risk is still a risk no matter what the size and mmff!”
Having leaned too far towards the computer, Dick fell out of his seat, his sheer shock somehow taking over his exceptional sense of balance. Did Clark just kiss Bruce, and for that matter, why was the kiss not followed up by the sound of bones breaking?
Bruce let out and angry snarl. “What the hell, Clark! Why did you kiss me?”
“Because you pissed me off,” Clark grumbled in a borderline childish voice. Dick had never heard such a tone from the man of steel.
“That doesn’t even make any sense!” Bruce exclaimed incredulously.
“Well, you basically said kissing you wasn’t a worthwhile risk to me. I just wanted to let you know you were wrong,”
“That wasn’t the point I was trying to make!”
“Well, that’s what I got out of it,” Clark snorted.
“Now listen here, Clark, you-” before Bruce could finish his statement his voice was roughly covered up. Dick’s eyes were now impossibly large as realization hit him at an uncontrollable speed. Suddenly everything began to add up. Damian mentioned that Clark was coming by the mansion a lot more often. Dick had chalked it up to them teaming up for another joint project, but now he realized it was a completely different kind of partnership than he imagined.
Dick looked at the clock and couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. It had been well over 3 minutes and the two men were still making out. Finally the sound of heavy panting could be heard before someone eventually spoke up.
“See, Bruce, sometimes risk can have pretty worthwhile pay offs.”
“So damn cheeky,” Bruce hissed back, apparently still too breathless to give a proper riposte.
“Haha, okay, Bruce,” Clark laughed. “I got your message loud and clear. I’ll try to be more prepared in the future.”
Bruce let out a pleased sound before the sound of shuffling was heard.
“Grayson, what on earth are you listening to?”
Dick felt his blood go cold and his pulse stop before he worked up the nerve to turn around. Standing behind him was a very confused and very upset looking Robin.
“DAMIAN! How long have you been here?” Dick exclaimed as he scrambled to locate the disconnect button.
The young Wayne narrowed his eyes. “Long enough. Is that father and…” Suddenly the boy’s beady eyes grew four times larger as his lower mouth quivered and he gasped out. “The alien?”
“NOO!” Dick yelled as he still struggled with the console finding it very hard to turn it off while remaining trapped under Damian’s horrified gaze. “Well, yeah, but” Dick trailed. “But there’s a perfectly good explanation here!”
“Okay” Damian grimaced, his face anything but pleasant. He then crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the anxious Dick. “Go ahead. Explain away.”
Dick let out a weak laugh. It was at that point he was suddenly reminded of a very hard lesson he’d forgotten from his childhood. No good ever came from ease dropping on Batman.
*****************~What Wally Saw~******************
The person who figured it out in the most compromising scenario was Wally.
The list of reasons why Wally loved having super speed was endless, but there were a few aspects of his powers that made his life a little less fulfilling. One definitely being his insatiable appetite, and the other was the fact that video games were no longer challenging.
His reflexes were simply too quick for any computer to keep up with him. Sure he could still play games that focused mainly on puzzles, but sometimes Wally wanted a little bit more variety in his life, and it just so happened most games developed were geared towards reflexes, precision, and technique. All things that Wally had a very unfair advantage over.
It wasn’t until one day, while on watch duty, Wally discovered something. Although it wasn’t a complete match for him, the tower’s high powered, state of the art, beyond futuristic mainframe had the perfect processing capabilities to run gaming software that could keep up with Wally’s speed. Of course the software had to be specially designed, but with a little help from Dick, he had more than a few games created.
However, after a few months had gone by, Batman noticed Wally’s more frequent and unnecessary visits to the tower. The end result was him getting a very long lecture from Batman about how using a multi-billion dollar computer to play video games was fraudulent waste and abuse of JLA resources. He then confiscated the games and banned Wally from ever using the computer for gaming again.
Unbeknownst to Batman, Wally had made backups, and would now use this one particular computer to still sneak in some game time. It was a terminal and room that was hardly ever used due to its inconvenient location in an older section of the tower. Honestly, Wally had only seen Superman in this room, and that was because the hero was a creature of habit and had a hard time abandoning old things that weren’t broken. Wally also did a better job of covering his tracks and nearly 6 months had gone by without any bat-interference.
“I believe I left it here,” a familiar voice sounded from down the hall.
“SHIT!” Wally blurted. He then began to fleet about the room in a panicked mess, picking up all the snack wrappers and soda bottles and shoving them into a nearby locker. He then made a move to leave the room, but realized he forgot to turn the computer off. Wally quickly hit the monitor screen, but realized it was much too late to escape. Had it been anyone but Superman, Flash was sure he could’ve zipped by undetected, but he knew Superman’s quick reflexes would catch him. Not sure what else to do, Wally did the next best thing he could think of and jumped into the locker.
Today must not have been Wally’s lucky day because the person accompanying Superman was none other than Batman himself. Superman opened up the door and waited for Batman to walk in first before shutting it behind them and motioning towards the computer.
“See, here it is. Told you I didn’t lose it,” Superman smiled proudly as he turned and handed something to the stoic looking vigilante.
Batman frowned as he snatched the drive out of the smirking hero’s hands. “Well, next time how about uploading it to the server instead of leaving it lying around? That way we could have accessed it from anywhere rather than having to walk all the way over here to recover it.”
“Sure thing,” Clark all but muttered under his breath as he watched Bruce insert the device into the computer before turning it on.
“Wally,” Bruce growled.
Wally felt his panic rise at the mention of his name. Had he been found out?
“What?” Superman questioned as he peered over Batman’s shoulder.
“I told him to stop using this computer for useless recreation. I didn’t spend billions of dollars so he could play video games.”
Flash let out both a sigh of relief and mentally face-palmed himself. Sure his hiding place hadn’t been uncovered, but in the end, he still got caught.
Superman let out a soft chuckle and shook his head. “Ease up, can you really blame him? I doubt there are many other computers out there that can keep up with him.”
Batman snorted in response, and Wally suddenly remembered why Superman was one of his favorite teammates.
After more than several minutes had gone by of Batman typing away while ignoring the world around him, Superman finally spoke up.
“You know, Bruce, I really missed you.”
Wally who had admittedly been mentally dozing off suddenly woke up and twisted his face with confusion. Sure he knew Superman and Batman were pretty close, but it still sounded like an odd thing for him to say. Then again, Wally was pretty sure that the two heroes were a lot closer behind closed doors than they let on. He had no idea how incredibly accurate that thought was.
“I didn’t expect that after a 10 day mission in the Klaxon solar system, I’d come back and you would be gone for nearly two weeks doing some kind of undercover reconnaissance. Then we were both so busy playing catch up, I didn’t even get to see you again until today’s meeting.”
The speed at which Batman was typing did not falter, and he only shrugged in response.
Clark let out a leisurely sigh before moving right next to the computer and replied in a voice that had suddenly dropped several octaves. “How long has it been?”
Bruce grunted with annoyance as Clark sat down on the end of the computer module and leaned into his space.
“32 days?” Clark whispered.
Wally’s eyes were now impossibly wide as he struggled not to make a sound. He had never witnessed it from a point of view other than his own mouth, but he was pretty sure this is what one would call sexual harassment. Was Superman coming onto Batman?
“32 days, 19 hours, and,” Batman paused for a moment and looked at the corner of the computer screen. “33 minutes to be exact.”
Batman’s reply was flat and dry, but Wally was still finding his reaction unnaturally calm. Did he not understand what was going on here, or was he just always like this?
“Oh-hoh,” Clark laughed out, his voice filled with mock amusement. “So you were counting the days?”
“No, I just pay better attention to my surroundings than you,” Bruce countered as he brushed Clark’s hands off the terminal and started typing again.
Clark’s smile curled in a somewhat feral manner that Wally was sure no one would believe was even possible for the world’s boy scout to conjure. The expression was simply priceless.
“I bet you could even count the seconds,” Clark chuckled lowly his eyes never once turning from Bruce’s face.
Batman made no effort to reply.
“Bruce.”
Batman narrowed his eyes and leaned further toward the screen. This didn’t seem to deter the Kryptonian at all as his voice grew even deeper. “Bruce, did you pay that much attention?”
The ferocity at which Batman was typing increased. It was as though he were concentrating too hard on the computer. The corner of Clark’s grin turned up even further as he continued to assault Bruce with his low throaty tenor. “32 days, 19 hours, 34 minutes, and…”
Wally swallowed hard. At this point even he was feeling a bit violated by Clark’s voice, and for some reason he just couldn’t help but lean closer towards the locker door.
Bruce stopped typing and finally replied. “38 seconds.”
Clark’s playful eyes remained fixated on Bruce who was still staring at the computer screen.
“39, 40, 41, 42…” Clark began to count.
“Clark, shut up,” Bruce growled just before he roughly grabbed the hero by the front of his uniform and crushed their lips together.
Wally nearly toppled over backwards as Batman suddenly attacked Superman. Before the taller man could react he was being pressed up against the computer module and Bruce had found a perfect spot between the man’s legs.
Wally covered his mouth and eyes with his hands for fear that the two facial organs would betray him. In the end, his hands did as his fingers involuntarily moved so that he could still peek through them. He then began to wonder if he’d actually fallen asleep or stumbled into some kind of dimensional rift. There was just no way he was observing what he was seeing right now. It had to be some kind of trick.
The computer began to make loud angry noises. At some point, Clark had turned the tables and now Bruce was the one with his back against the console. Maybe this had happened because the vigilante was now desperately trying to reach for the power button while still combating Clark’s oral assault on his face and lips.
Bruce let out a pleased moan when Clark bit his lip. It was at that moment he managed to finally shut down the terminal, but by then he was already melting into Clark’s touch, trying with all of his might not to mewl.
Wally gasped. Did Batman, the Batman just moan? Was the league’s very own stiff robotic hero actually able to make sounds like that? The moment the sound left the peeping tom’s mouth he regretted it. Sure, no normal person would’ve heard it, but unfortunately for him, he wasn’t the only super power being present in the room.
“What?” Bruce questioned as Clark suddenly froze. Wally immediately held his breath.
Clark lifted his head before looking down at Bruce uneasily. “I thought I heard something, but maybe I'm being paranoid.”
“Hmm, is the guilt getting to you?” Bruce smirked wryly. Clark couldn’t help but wipe the look off Bruce’s face as he once again captured the man’s lips in another heated kiss.
Wally finally released his breath but very slowly so that it could barely be heard. He then began to regret many of the choices he made that day.
‘I should’ve listened to B and not used this computer to play games. Why did I hide in this locker? Why didn’t I make a break for it?’
There was just no way Wally could fess up now, so the only thing he was left doing was trying not to get too immersed with the pilfered peepshow. Right now the young hero was torn between his desire to watch the forbidden once in a lifetime love scene, while the bigger part of him was mortified and trying to figure out how he would ever be able to face the two heroes with a straight face again.
For the last several minutes, Flash was staring at the corner of the locker trying not to focus on the sounds he was hearing. No longer able to bide his curiosity, Wally decided to take one last peek. That was a mistake.
Clark was now straddling Bruce and had removed the man’s cowl. Bruce’s cheeks were flush and his eyes were hazy and there was a generous amount of sweat trickling down his face. Wally had never imagined that Bruce could look so sensual and alluring, and he wasn’t even attracted to men. Then again, he was pretty positive Clark wasn’t either, but after what he just witnessed, he could see why he converted.
Clark rocked into Bruce, causing him to gasp out. His eyes then dilated causing them to grow in size making their blue lustful hue dramatically more noticeable. At this point Wally lost control of his vocal cords and let out a muffled sound. Luckily Superman seemed too preoccupied to hear it as he didn’t even seem fazed and continued to fondle Bruce.
Bruce groaned lowly before he mumbled out. “Waaaallllly.”
Clark immediately froze and tensed up. He then furrowed his brow and he looked at Bruce with a mix of irritation and confusion. Apparently hearing someone else’s name uttered from his lover’s mouth at this particular moment was a little less than flattering.
“Wally?” Clark echoed his voice a bit strained.
The misty hue in Bruce’s eyes finally disappeared as though his head had suddenly cleared, and he immediately pushed Clark away.
“No, WALLY!” He shouted just before the locker door flew open.
“Hey guys,” Wally choked out through a very nervous laugh.
Batman had a murderous gleam in his eyes while Superman was standing behind him looking utterly horrified.
It was at that moment Wally debated on whether it would be best to explain himself or flee. Before his mind could fully make the choice, he was already halfway down the hall. At this point the speedster was not ready to deal with the wrath of Batman, but he definitely made up his mind he would never go in that room again.
The End!