Chapter 1: Beginnings
Summary:
Stage I: Beginnings
At first, Soma didn't know what Arikado's silence made him feel, it all started from one instance of it. He couldn't tell if it was annoyance, or irritation, or even anger... But Soma felt like this was a rough start between the two and their cooperation at work.
Notes:
Hello there!
I am back again in my Castlevania train, choo choo, so here is a Soma focused little multi-chapter about him coping with silence. This is inspired by the Five Stages of Grief but I decided to change it a bit to fit more!
Hope you enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The agent was neither talkative or explanatory, Soma knew that from their first encounter outside of that castle in the eclipse. The man explained the bare minimum, he pissed Soma off, and honestly he wished even two years after the events to have been right about Graham Jones not being ‘such a bad guy’ just so he could rub it in Arikado’s face. His stoicism, his seriousness, his coldness that was so harsh it felt as if you were stepping on sharpened ice pieces; they all annoyed Soma.
He had started working under Arikado after the events with Celia. Soma felt too restless, too worried, too alarmed to go back to having a normal life. The first time after Dracula’s castle he tried, he truly tried, he gave it his all to spend time with Mina, to forget that his ordeal happened, to ignore the heaviness of his heart and the beats it skipped on certain nights. During those nights silence was unbearable, he found himself outside of his apartment, walking in busy streets just to hear the humming of engines, the vrooming of cars, the talking of crowds, the bleeding through a random headset that someone might have worn next to him on the train… Soma had to fill his surroundings one way or another.
That became a habit he carried with him into the Agency, something that rarely became a bother since the young man was diligent and got his work done. Well, rarely didn’t mean never, because of course his boss would have an issue with it. The first few times that Soma was doing paperwork with earphones in and his smartphone blasting music in his ears, his leg was twitching nervously, his glass eyes focused on the pen sliding against scratchy paper… He was just fine, paying attention to the task in hand. But his body jerked once he felt someone tap his right shoulder, removing the earphones and looking up at Arikado. Soma’s white brow arched, weirded out as to what his boss might have wanted.
“Arikado… Can I help you?”
His question was responded with a sigh, the agent pointing at his ears and then at his work. That alone made Soma groan and stand up from where he was stationed; he was doing just fine, he was done with three out of the seven reports he had to do, so why was he getting complaints about it from Arikado of all people. Soma respected the guy, especially after what happened with Celia and Mina’s fake, Arikado had practically put himself in the wolf’s jaws ready to be devoured just for Soma to snap out of his trance. It had worked but after that he returned to be the same emotionless agent, and Soma had returned to despising the cold shoulder he was receiving whenever he interacted with him.
“I am doing my job, aren’t I? I do not see why it is such an issue to you, when no one else has given me shit for them!”
Soma wore his earbuds again, blasting his music as he stormed outside of the office, his footsteps rapid against tiled floors. He entered the elevator and pressed the first floor button, where the cafeteria was stationed. Bustling with people, with noise, many agents even waved at him, greeting him with a bow, a nod, a mouthed hello. He lowered the volume of the j-rock he was listening to in order to place his order by the counter, resuming it as he picked it up. This was so much better, better than the pointing and gesturing that Arikado gave him, better at the silent complaints and quiet judgment his boss served him… Anything was better than that; even the worst of all cacophonies.
Meanwhile upstairs Arikado had remained stunned where Soma once sat, blinking at the boy having left the shared office space. Julius entered the room, steaming coffee cups in hand, his brow arching upon seeing the seat of their young agent empty and vacant. His lips parted, about to say something, then closed as he looked at Alucard.
“What did you do?”
Julius’ question earned a small tug of Alucard’s lips downwards as the Agent started walking towards his desk, taking a seat and flipping some papers. The Belmont smiled, leaning against the nearby wall, eyes wandering down the street where people were marching like a well oiled clockwork display. He gave his coworker and friend time, after all he knew that is all the dhampir needed to answer his question.
“I wanted to request him to lower the volume of his music because I could hear it… But based on his reaction I must have not done it correctly… I wonder if next time I should just ask him to do so…”
Sighing, the agent lifted his eyes to meet the hunter’s laughter, and an offered cup of coffee. He took the drink and sipped a bit of the liquid from it, returning to be silent as he worked on reports and acceptance letters. When Soma returned he said nothing, leaving Julius to do the talking, because if his silence bothered the young boy so much; Adrian didn’t want to agitate him even more by talking about what had happened.
Notes:
Thank you for reading Chapter 1 of this short multi-chapter!
Kudos and Comments are always appreciated!
Hope you enjoy Chapter 2!
Chapter 2: Repetition
Summary:
Stage II: Repetition
Once annoyance settled in at the start, Soma started seeing the signs of repetition. Silence with Arikado happened again and again, it happened so much that it became something Soma loathed to hear, or well not hear.
Notes:
Hello again!
Chapter 2 is here, and so are the next chapters since I am uploading this all in one go! But I hope you enjoy it as much as you did Chapter 1, if you did that is!
Toodles!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Talking with Arikado about a mission was never something Soma enjoyed. He usually had to report to Julius when he first started, because he was assigned in his field team, which was simple and something Soma could easily do. Julius scarcely required paperwork, just a verbal report while he jolted down short notes always worked wonders. Soma guessed that it was his style due to his straightforward approach on things, after all Julius wanted to act fast if anything was brought into his attention through the reports.
Yoko was not someone who accepted reports all that often, especially not from Soma’s side of the field, but sometimes she stood in for Julius. She was lenient, and although requested you to personally write the report because she couldn’t be bothered considering it was not her job to begin with, the Belnades woman was mainly doing her job well enough. Soma had never an issue with reporting to her when Julius was away, they even grabbed coffee and talked about life, Mina, about everyone they had a common knowledge of. Arikado was also a part of some conversations, for Soma it was because he complained about him almost on the daily, but for Yoko it was because she was reassuring the youth that their boss wasn’t as bad as Soma thought of him to be.
But as Julius was moved outside of Japan more often, Soma got transferred to the field team under Arikado. At first he didn’t mind, Arikado didn’t visit the teams much, he was quietly checking up on their practice areas and that was it. The group was small in size, no more than maybe fifteen people, so Soma had a lot of personal space and no one to annoy him… But oh what did annoy him was reporting to Arikado.
“So we met up at the cemetery last night to capture a group of cultists. They were stationed in an underground mausoleum, quite creepy if you ask me.”
The dhampir agent lifted his gaze from the papers he was holding, nodding at Soma.
“It was just me and three other guys, but we managed just fine. But man I wish Julius was here and not all the way to Romania, it would have taken one hour instead of two! I swear they didn’t go down easy, they struggled and kicked even when we had them cornered!”
Soma noticed the black pearls across from him drifting towards the paper and Arikado remained quiet, again… No words coming out of the dhampir’s lips.
“Arikado, can you please say something?! We are supposed to be having a briefing, not a one-sided monologue here!”
“Well…”
The voice of the agent finally came out, and Soma slightly perked up and focused. His glassy eyes slid on the paper Arikado was gesturing at, arching a white eyebrow fully curious as to why he was handed a pen.
“Well… What?”
“Fill in the report form. I am sure that whatever else you have to say can be summarized in the written file for the case you were up against yesterday.”
Silence once again filled the room; tense, uncomfortable, at least for Soma. It happened every time he gave Arikado a report, he should stop expecting the next one to be different. Standing up he took the file he was offered, grumpily walking over to his desk to fill it in properly. Yoko’s words about Arikado echoed in his head, Julius’ admiration about their boss followed… And Soma wondered for just a split second if he was just too easily annoyed at the complete absence of a voice in the room.
Notes:
Thank you for reading Chapter 2 of this!
Kudos and Comments are always appreciated!
Hope you enjoy Chapter 3!
Chapter 3: Continuity
Summary:
Stage III: Continuity
It happened all the time, again and again, and Soma... Soma had started accepting it. It choked him, it still made him feel like he was stepping on needles, but as time passed he would take the awkwardness over the irritation he felt before.
Notes:
I am here to simply say... Thank you for reaching the 3rd chapter! Have fun!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Whenever Soma entered Arikado’s apartment after work, silence was the first thing that greeted him. He didn’t want to be there, he wanted to return to his own college apartment and be alone with no one to tend to but himself. Due to his job, Julius said that this was the best possible arrangement, especially after the Celia incident, which Soma bluntly refused to acknowledge just because he also refused to be in the same room with Genya Arikado for more than the needed working hours.
His boss’ quiet nature continued during their shared nights, usually accompanied with the sound of pen scratching on paper, or keyboard keys clicking against the membranes. Soma preferred to block all those sounds out, focus on sleeping or watching a movie, or even playing a forgotten video game with the volume nearly at maximum. He was surprised Arikado didn’t say anything about his free time activities after work, but on some occasions he found himself feeling bad and going back to what Yoko had told him again and again.
“This… This is stupid…”
Soma had found himself mumbling how stupid his situation was, while on top of the stove, stirring some chicken broth that he had already made into a more tasteful sauce. Next to him, in another two saucepans lay the chicken in question and cooked rice, ready to be served and showered in the sweet and sour broth. The young adult stared at the food he was making, trying to convince that what he was doing was going to go unappreciated by the dhampir anyways… But ignoring whatever his brain was shouting at him, Soma served two bowls of food and walked towards Arikado’s study.
On days off, which were usually shared between the two, Arikado spent most of the time in his study. He claimed that it was to catch up on work and utilize his time better, but Soma could feel it was because he was in the apartment. But it was night time, and for once Arikado didn’t come out of his study at all, not even for lunch… And following Yoko’s advice Soma had decided to give him a chance.
“Hey, Arikado…”
Opening the door slightly, after a couple of knocks, Soma entered the study. His eyes widened, like two pools of crystal clear water, shining under the peak of the sunrise. He didn’t visit this room all that often, he avoided it, but now he was asking himself why. It was filled with books, some in cases, some in podiums, others on top of desks or even piled on the floor supported by a random stool or a chair that happened to be there. The walls were decorated in a lovely warm red to brown wallpaper, with golden stitched details, and portraits of many different landscapes. There were maps, old and new, a globe almost half as tall as Soma, and so many different trinkets of many sizes.
His eyes wandered enough that eventually they landed on the figure of the agent. Arikado was laying on his desk, raven hair falling and framing his face as his breaths softly shook his body, his eyes closed and his clothes merely consisting of a dark gray turtleneck and a pair of black pants. Quietly Soma approached the desk, and he saw something he was sure he wasn’t supposed to see. It was a letter, addressed to Julius, but it was still incomplete and its contents were something Soma didn’t expect.
‘Julius,
This is Arikado responding to your previous letter. I hope everything is going alright over where you are, this should be finding its way in your hands during your train ride to Paris, so I wish your trip to France is an uneventful one.
I do apologize for writing to you so soon, but I need your help. I understand that from across the globe the help you can give me is limited, but I’d appreciate it nevertheless. Please tell me how you handle Soma during your work hours. He is competent, and works hard, some days even too hard dare I say. But he is reckless at times, and I do worry he will hurt himself out of simple frustration. I know how he must feel, but I do not know how to get him to open up and talk to me… I doubt he even wants to, considering that he and I do not have the best relationship to begin with.
All I am asking for is some advice. Any small bits will help. I just want to make him more comfortable around me, even if I do understand myself I might not be the most likable person, or the most easily sociable either.
Thank you, Julius.
May we see each other again soon, I owe you a drink for this.
-Arikado Genya’
Averting his eyes, it was Soma’s turn to be quiet. He remained like that for a bit, and then composed himself, took on his typical ‘are you kidding me?’ facial expression and shook Arikado awake by the shoulder. Once the agent blinked a couple of times, shaking off the sleep that had befallen him, he stared up at Soma in pure confusion.
“You know if you want to sleep, you can do that in your bedroom Arikado. Now come on, dinner is ready. Eat first, go back to bed later.”
And for once, Soma left before Arikado even tried to shape out a response. He accepted the silence as one, especially after laying eyes to that letter. The dinner went by fast, with no conversation hanging out in the air. But for some unknown reason Soma didn’t feel bothered by it, maybe a bit tense at first, but the atmosphere did not choke him.
Notes:
Thank you for reading Chapter 3!
Kudos and Comments are always appreciated!
Hope you enjoy Chapter 4!
Chapter 4: Factuality
Summary:
Stage IV: Factuality
Through the weeks and months Soma started understanding more Arikado's silence, embracing the quiet environment as some kind of a fact, not an occurrence. That alone was enough to put the young man at ease, at least for the majority of the times, often causing him to drift his thoughts on other matters regarding the agent.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
One whole year passed with Soma living with Arikado, working under him and generally associating himself with the dhampir. Julius had filled him in through a phone call about Arikado’s, well Alucard’s true story; about being the son of Dracula, put into a very difficult position by having to kill his father and also face the fact that he has to take care of a possible immortal incarnation of him. Soma argued that he could have just said no, but the vampire hunter assured him that he did, but Yoko and him were adamant that only he could take up the task.
So Soma had found a somewhat new appreciation for Arikado’s silence. He knew that whenever he was faced with it, it was because the secret agent was thinking of something proper to say to not hurt him, or it was because he was silent for Soma to continue talking as he gave him all of his attention. Soma found out that even if Arikado was silent, he was looking at him, he had found those two black eyes staring at him; hinted with a little layer of gold under them, which made Soma quiet down a couple of times when he saw it.
“So Julius is returning tomorrow huh…?”
The young man’s question was directed to no one in particular, just out loud spoken as his boss placed an iced coffee in front of him, making Soma look up and meet his gaze.
“Yes… At least you will have someone besides Yoko and Mina to chat…”
Arikado picked up his own coffee cup, taking a sip from the drink as he looked at the last letter delivered yesterday from Julius, the one announcing his return to the Agency. But Soma stared at him instead, chuckling a bit and leaning back in his chair, holding the edge of his desk to keep his balance.
“Well that is true, but I do have someone besides the girls to chat with! You are here, you know around the office and at home, aren’t ya?”
The question caught the dhampir off guard, making him blink with wide eyes towards Soma’s direction. Soma paid no mind to his boss’ surprise, yanking himself forward to take a sip through the straw of his coffee. He didn’t mind speaking up like that, it did make Arikado show him some new expressions beyond the silence.
Following that, Arikado cleared his throat, nodded towards Soma’s way and returned to his desk. Soma’s glassy eyes followed his black clad figure, observing it quietly for once, before returning to the paperwork tasks at hand. As he did fill the forms in though, Soma found himself sketching a profile portrait of Arikado on a notebook he had opened for emergency note taking in case they got a phone call. The sketch was scratchy, done with a regular black ballpen, but as he stared at it Soma remembered Mina and Yoko talking about Arikado.
“You know Soma, mister Arikado always looks… I do not want to say handsome, but beautiful instead. It is as if his face is a painting.”
“Damn, why did Alucard have to be our boss? Couldn’t he have gone undercover as a model, or an actor, or something that didn’t have to pile missions on us?!”
If his memory served right even Julius and Hammer had made multiple comments about Arikado’s appearance, comments that Soma just had rolled his eyes at.
“Heeey Soma, alone today? No big ‘A’ following? Shame, the pretty boy does bring in some people that end up buying stuff, which makes my sales go up!”
“Soma I hope you are not spacing out because you are staring at a specific someone, because if we also have issues from you for falling for the boss, I will pick up vampire killer with no hesitation; understood?”
Soma remembered clearly when Julius threatened him like that, and how he refused the accusations, claiming he just drifted off for a second. But thinking back on it, he was staring at Arikado. He was examining how his hair so effortlessly fell on his shoulders in a wavy pattern, framing his face in all the right places, but at the same time showing off his cheekbones and edges. The young man remembered distinctively noticing Arikado’s eyelashes, long and perfectly heighted, brushing only slightly at the top of his cheeks when the agent blinked. Well, Soma hadn’t lied, he wasn’t falling for Arikado… But the more he watched the man, the more he saw what Yoko, Mina, Hammer and even Julius did; a very beautiful man, much like a temptation laid there by a demon to lure a sinner in.
His silver eyes landed on the sketch again, which was almost finished, before drifting all the way back. He glanced behind his shoulder, noticing Arikado quietly looking over papers and focusing on work. Soma found himself smiling at that, and for once silence wasn’t bothering him, in fact he didn’t even reach for his phone to put his playlist on. With Arikado, a quiet room was a fact, Soma slowly had started accepting that. Surprisingly he found himself worried if Arikado started replying too fast or too rapidly whenever they talked, sure waiting for replies especially during reports was a tad bit awkward… But Soma now knew that silence meant an effort for the agent to collect his thoughts and understand the situation better, as well as say something befitting to it.
Notes:
Thank you for reading Chapter 4!
Kudos and Comments are always appreciated!
Hope you enjoy Chapter 5 that is the finale, see you there!
Chapter 5: Comfort
Summary:
Stage V: Comfort
At nights, Soma himself seeks comfort in silence, but he never gets it. The quiet room is deafening, the noise from outside doesn't make the suffocation he feels any less, but Arikado's silence is different. He cherishes it at moments like these, at moments where the world feels cold and foreign, but the quiet room of their apartment feels like home; a safe haven.
Notes:
Welcome to the final chapter!
I hope you enjoy peeking through this as well!
I will write more on the end notes!
Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
There was no denying it; Soma was loud. He talked a lot, stirred the conversation in multiple directions, something that Yoko and Mina loved, Arikado and Julius not so much. Soma had the unexplainable habit of wanting to be heard above everything that was happening, be it a clicking pen, tapping fingers, clicking heels, a coffee maker or a whole construction site outside of their window. But what most people didn’t know was that he too could find himself wrapped in thoughts, doubts, questions. When that happened, Soma was quiet, he allowed silence to become his world, but those moments were mainly spent with him alone.
Soma never wanted people to see him distressed, in his eyes it would ruin the impression others had of him, and subsequently would make him feel less. So whenever the young reincarnation of Dracula was having a tough time, he stayed in his room, claiming he was not feeling good that day. But during nights, harsh ones that dreams melted away into nightmares, which soon twisted and got distorted into a dark reality with lines blurred of what is and isn’t true, Soma couldn’t help but wake up with a yelp.
With his breathing in rapid succession, Soma lifted his body and stared outside his window, where the night and the moon greeted him with their ominous darkness. He looked over himself, for any signs that the massacre he saw in his dream was real, but thankfully he found no blood on his hands or clothes. He also made sure to touch his fangs, noticing that his finger glided across them effortlessly, no cuts and no sharpened tips. But his breath was hitched, it was heaving his chest, shaking his body. When Soma stood up to try and reach the bathroom his legs failed him, making him drop to his knees with a thud in the middle of the night.
“Soma…?”
A knock came from his door, making Soma lift his head up terrified that he had woken up Arikado, but then he remembered that the agent rarely slept during nighttime. His silvery eyes locked with a golden undertone as the door leading to his bedroom opened up, catching him slightly off guard at how soft they were, how caring and careful as the dark clad figure approached his small frame.
“Is everything alright? What happened?”
Soma for once was the one that remained silent in his and Arikado’s exchange of words. He never did that. He never kept his mouth shut. He always responded or shot back a snarky remark when he didn’t want to answer. But at that moment, Soma felt like he couldn’t trust his own words, like he couldn’t trust himself to explain without an external influence guiding him completely out of his control.
“I see… I understand, it’s alright Soma. Everything will be alright, trust me…”
As Arikado said that, Soma was taken aback when arms were wrapped around his trembling frame. He let out a soft sob, throwing himself on the agent who also served as his guardian, clinging for him as if he was a lifeline. The dhampir started caressing his white locks, hushing him with soft whispers, for once being the talkative one of the two.
Eventually the hour ticked away, and Soma didn’t move; he remained in Arikado’s arms, tightly clenching his fists around the black soft fabric of the agent’s turtleneck, letting out empty sobs and tearless sniffles, his eyes dried out by then. Arikado didn’t say anything, he stood up and tucked Soma in, under warm blankets and bedsheets. But once he tried to stand up and leave, Soma grabbed his wrist and pulled him down, laying on his chest and curling up to feel embraced and safe.
In that room, in the middle of a moonlit night, Soma didn’t hear another word spill from Arikado’s lips. The only sounds he heard were some cars passing by the main road outside of the apartment, the clock from the other side of the hallway as the seconds passed, and the breathing patterns of both him and Arikado. The combination of all those sounds, and the enveloping silence the room had, allowed Soma to close his tired eyes and let sleep take him once more. His night was dreamless, but restful, and it was the first time that Soma felt that Arikado’s silence was what made home feel like home, and what made him feel safe during a night when everything felt unknown and foreign.
Notes:
Thank you so so much for reaching the end of this!
I wrote this fic in between days that I was supposed to be resting but I am very glad I did.
Soma is generally a character that I treasure and cherish, even if I torture him from time to time~!
Thank you for giving this little fic a read and as usual; Kudos and Comments are always appreciated in my book!
You can find me on twitter or tumblr under @SoraHinari for updates or sneak peeks of some of my upcoming things!
Thank you once more!
ZeDeadWeight on Chapter 3 Mon 18 Dec 2023 10:41PM UTC
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SoraHinari on Chapter 3 Tue 19 Dec 2023 02:01AM UTC
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ZeDeadWeight on Chapter 5 Mon 18 Dec 2023 10:52PM UTC
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SoraHinari on Chapter 5 Tue 19 Dec 2023 02:03AM UTC
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