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Turn my Heart to a Spade and I’ll Gladly Dig Your Grave by ihtherik
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), baldur's gate 3 - Fandom
26 Aug 2025
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Summary
5 years following his Ascension, Astarion has reappeared to collect the debts he thinks he's owed—including Tav herself. And there doesn’t seem to be a line Astarion’s not willing to cross to have her back.
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"A few things are now abundantly clear to me.
One, Astarion will not stop looking for me. Not after I'd denied him again, kicked him, shocked him, and disappeared in front of his eyes.
Two, I am woefully unprepared and underdressed; with the exception of a necklace infused with divine guidance, a useless ring, and a now-soiled house coat and thin work clothes which will not withstand much at all.
And three, regardless of how perilous, how dire my situation now is, I am livid. Beyond livid.
Vampire Ascendant or no, he is going to pay. He will meet retribution wearing my face, he will be made to realize he cannot just have anything, take anything he wants.
I don't want to think on the possibility of having to kill him. To end his immortal life, by one means or another. Even less do I want to think on ending my own, to escape my fate of becoming his thrall unwilling.
But by the Gods above and Devils below, if he wants to wage war, I will finish it."