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Chapter Text

Bucky honestly couldn't believe it could still be this hot in late November. Years of harsh Brooklyn winters had taught him to bundle up tightly and find everyway possible to keep the cold out. Yet with the humidity it never seemed to be enough. Nights always ended with a cup of hot tea and couple pairs of socks on his feet.

Now he was living in a dry heat. That was the other thing, no cool breeze coming in off the Hudson or the ocean. He has always thought he'd love to live in a hot place, never have to worry about freezing his toes off every winter. Not having to worry about the icy water washing over his feet when he was working on the docks. He was grateful he didn't have to worry about any of that anymore, but he was thinking it may have been nice to move a place a little less intensity in their temperatures. No extreme colds or extreme heat. But Steve had told him living here would be great for both of them and Bucky believed him. But Steve needed to come more than Bucky, and the kid could hardly work so Bucky had given him most of his income to help him get out to Texas.

Friends since childhood it only made sense for Bucky and Steve to work together. When Steve had sent Bucky the letter informing him of an opening in his new small town of Bandera, Bucky had figured it would be a nice change from his day to day life in Brooklyn. Working the docks had gotten old quickly, but they pay had been decent. That and he was still a bit protective over Steve, For years he had practically raised the kid, and back then his health hadn't been very good. Every time Steve caught a cold Bucky found himself worried he might be nearing the end of his life. So many long nights taking care of the young blonde. It reminded him of the nights taking care of his sister. Perhaps that was why he was so worried about him whenever they happened.

While Bucky wasn't making any more money than what he had in Brooklyn, his small house was paid for and he had his own space now. He couldn't explain how freeing it felt to have his own space. No nosy neighbors complaining that he left too early and made too much noise in the morning, or that he never seemed to take any young ladies out and "Oh what a waste to see such a handsome young man living alone! He should be married by now, have his own kids. What a shame." Not to mention he didn't have to lift heavy box after heavy box day after day. No freezing feet, no stink of fish or smoke when he got home each night. There was very little he actually missed from his life in Brooklyn.

Bandera was on verge of growing from a small farming community to a well known town. While it was small it was growing rather quickly, many businesses had begun to start up. The new businesses brought in more families, as well as work for those who were already here. Bucky felt every week there was a new family he and Steve had to welcome into the town. Bucky hadn't been here long himself, but even he had to admit the growth was impressive. New homes were constantly being built, the older ones having new rooms added on to accommodate growing families, and businesses. It felt like everywhere he turned construction was going on. While his home had been built around the same time as many it now seemed small and outdated, with every other home having added on 1 or 2 rooms, or some other form of addition to the property. Mean while Bucky had his little 1 bedroom home with a small stable for his horse in the back. But he didn't mind, there wasn't really a reason to add on to it, or move somewhere bigger. It was just him after all. No wife or children to worry about, and he didn't see that happening any time soon for him.

Steve on the other hand had found a fantastic woman right before Bucky had moved down. Margert, or Peggy as she preferred, had come with her family from England. Bucky had to admit as much as he hated his best friend finding a new one to share his life with, Peggy was perfect for him. She liked Steve for Steve. Steve had proposed to her the week after Bucky arrived. The wedding was still a week or so off but Steve had been so happy since that day. The joy was evident in his letters back to Bucky when he first met the gal. It was nice to see him doing so well. Especially after seeing the changes Bandera has done for Steve.

The kid had always been on the smaller side with dozens of health issues, and a new one popping up with every change of the season. But between leaving Brooklyn for the wide open fresh air and the new doctor with his trial drugs and treatments that Steve had been seeing, Bucky had never seen him healthier. He wasn't so small any more, It wouldn't have surprised Bucky if Steve could actually take him in an arm wrestle now. He no longer worried about colds or fevers. It was beginning to feel like Steve didn't need him much any more. He could take care of himself, and with Peggy by his side he was completely taken care of even with out Bucky. But it was nice to be near some one he knew. There was no one left in Brookyln that he cared about.

Thoughts like these swarmed his mind as he sat in the sheriff's office rocking on the back legs of his wooden chair. He had his feet up on the desk and his hat pulled down over his eyes. Most days went like this. There was the occasional drunken brawl out side the saloon, but other than that there wasn't much to deal with. The papers in neighboring towns had been filled with head lines of the infamous "Black Widow." Bank after bank had been robbed in the middle of the day by this Widow. She left nothing behind. Simply took it all. She seemed to have no mercy. Whoever was there became her bait. Used, abused, and left behind. Most men she targeted did not survive the encounter. While there had been a few survivors to tell the tales she was rather good at cleaning up behind her.

The locals were constantly talking about this bandit, worried for their own money, or worse that she would target one of their loved ones. Bucky felt the whole story was a bit dramatic. The idea of one person taking everything? It just didn't make sense. But being in an area of small towns it just seemed fitting that they would take the small bit of news that they got and blow it up.

Bucky and Steve had joked on and off about catching the thief, but in reality knew the chances of this were so slim. The reward money made the joke that much better. After a life of always struggling paycheck to paycheck, the idea of getting a large reward all at once seemed enticing to say the least.

"Didn't I tell you no sleeping on the job Buck?"

Startling Bucky lost his balance, his feet falling to the ground - sending the chair he was rocking on and himself crashing to the hard wood floor. The crash of the chair echoed through the room, Bucky was just grateful no one else had been there to witness the incident.

"I wasn't sleepin'" He grumbled as he brushed himself off and stood up. "Just resting my eyes."

"It looked a lot like sleep to me." Steve said with a chuckle before tossing a paper on his desk.

Steve had come to Bandera three years ago, now he was sheriff of the small town. During his time here alone he had often written Bucky trying to convince him to come join him. It wasn't until Steve got the job as Sheriff and told Bucky he needed a new Deputy that Bucky had really considered it. Clint Barton also worked in the office with them but preferred to spend his time on the farm. He was really only there for the rare occasion that they needed an extra hand in a situation.

"Widow hit again, two towns over this time. She's gettin' closer Buck. I don't know what to do if she strikes here. I don't wanna put anyone in danger but I am sure not liking the idea opening up our vault for her to take this town's hard earned money either."

"I told ya, just have everyone take out their money for the time being, it'd be just as safe in their homes as it would in the bank. She will pass through and there won't be anything for her to take. Problem solved." The lazy southern drawl most people in the area spoke with had slowly crept in to Bucky's own language over the past eight months, the remnants of his Brooklyn accent could still be heard but they were becoming fewer and farther between as he grew accustomed to his new home.

"For how long? We can't expect the people to keep their money out indefinitely, and the bank couldn't survive that anyways. And what happens if she decides to strike at their businesses or their homes instead? Then what Buck? It would be that much harder to take her down if she is attacking each home instead of one place. And it would put so many more lives in danger."

"I don't know Steve. We don't even know she's going to hit here. She skips around. She has no pattern of targets. We already decided we couldn't risk you going in. Not with the wedding so close, and Peggy. She'd kill me if I let you. I wouldn't last any longer than you." Truthfully while Bucky liked Peggy he was also terrified of her. She was a much stronger caliber of woman than most those he had met. Perhaps it was her upbringing in London that had given her her edge, but whatever it was, he didn't dare test it. Bucky closed his eyes and moved his fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"If we can't risk you...." he repeated softly. "Steve, I know you said neither of us could go in, but face it. We can't put a civilian in there. No one in this town has the guts to face her any ways, and even if they did most of them don't even know what to do. They are so used to their day to day lives that something like this? They wouldn't have the faintest idea on what to do next. And we can't put you in. The only logical option is me."

Bucky immediately saw the look on his face the quick shake of his head. He knew Steve was going to tell him no. He acted like the big brother now. Odd how the roles had switched so quickly. "Buck that's not gonn..."

Before he could complete his thoughts Bucky cut him off. "It makes sense. I don't have a family, or a fiancé depending on me. Let alone a girl let along any prospects of one in the near future. Steve all I've got is you. And you'll have Peggy. Besides maybe I'll get lucky. Be one of those that survives? She's let a few go. Who's to say I won't be one of those. 'Sides, if I take her down I'll split the reward with you." He gave Steve a wink and nodded to the poster pinned to the wall. "It'd be a nice way to start your marriage, could buy you a nice big house over by Adam and his family. I'm sure Peg would love that."

"Yeah and how would you do that? By swooning her into letting you live? Out of seventeen targets only two have lived, two! And both of them were injured to the point they can't be on their own, like you said Buck you don't have a family to take care of you. As much as I like you I don't think Peggy would love the idea of you moving in right after we get married. Even if we got a house next to Adam. I don't like those odds Buck. You're my brother. I'm not loosing you to some wanted thief who can't ever seem to get enough. I'd rather open the vault and let her take it all."

"And what other choice do we have? Aside from someone who isn't even capable of trying to take her down, being on guard constantly we have nothing else we can do. It's me or Adam Broadbent, you know the guy's wife is pregnant with their second kid? Or Billy from down the road? His ma depends on him, and he's got that girl. Whole town knows they are gonna get married, it's just a matter of time before he asks her. And it's not like Laura would let Barton go. Let's face it neither of us has the guts to stand up to her to tell her to let him. And it's not your money to give away. These people trust you to keep them and their money money safe. Its why you are Sheriff. You have their trust. Toss away their money and you will loose it all."

He could see it in Steve's eyes. The understanding and acknowledgment that Bucky was right. He couldn't risk any one else. Not with the odds so low. The town didn't deserve to loose what they had worked hard for, but Bucky didn't deserve to die to protect it. But there wasn't a good option besides asking him to risk his life. He'd been here all of eight months and already was willing to lay down his life for them.

"I always hate it when you are right..." He muttered rubbing his forehead and taking a deep breath. Slowly he nodded before he continued to speak. "But you make it out Buck. You take her down. Not the other way? She doesn't get away with this time. Not with your life on the line. I am not going to loose my best friend to some bank robber. If she needs more she can go somewhere else. Peggy and I care about you Buck. The whole town cares. You have people, even if you think you don't. And you know I will kill you if you let her take you down."

"I'll do my best." He pulled his friend in for a hug before slapping him on the back. "Let Adam know I'll be sleeping in the office for the week. I'll go grab a few things and meet you both there in about Twenty minutes or so. 'Sides, she will most likely skip Bandera entirely. There's a half dozen towns around here that are bound to have at least as much money sitting in their vault as we do."

Steve sighed and shook his head. "Buck..."

"It'll be fine Steve. I can handle myself just as well as anyone else down here can."

"Alright. Fine. But if you die I swear I will kill you."

Bucky gave a chuckle and shrugged. "I remember saying the same thing to you when you caught that fever few years back."

Chapter Text

She was so close. Her debts almost paid. Just one or two more jobs and she would be free. She would never have to see that monster Alexi again. She could be her own person and not have to look over her shoulder every where she went. Maybe she could actually live out her dreams. Even if she couldn't the freedom would be enough for her.

She hadn't known her life would end up like this. The Americas were meant to give her a chance at living out the dreams of her childhood. All she had wanted was a new life in a new place. Russia had been so cold and bitter. So many left starving or dying. Her parents had given everything to get her to America. They had found a man who said he would get her to America, not only that but would continue her ballet training. He would make her into someone. He had said the price would be small. But upon arrival it had been much higher than anticipated. Hope of a new life was shattered in minutes.

She had thought maybe by going west and completing her work out there once she finished she could move east and live out her "American Dream" in peace. Until Alexi had shown up at her door. It was then she knew that there was nothing she could do to get away. Nothing but pay off her debts. And even then she wasn't entirely sure it would work. Deep down she feared that even if she paid it off Dreykov would give her to Alexi anyways. It wouldn't surprise her. He was full of tricks and lies.

She had not anticipated she would be so good at this work. While she hated it, she did what had to be done. The red on her ledger was a necessary evil. She had not wanted to kill. The first had been an accident. She had never intended to hurt any one but after the first death the rest were needed. Killing more brought more fear and less of a fight as odd as it sounded. One brought more of a fight but once she hit four or five they stopped fighting as much. Some just gave in. Opened the vaults and let her take it. That had been a nice surprise the first time. But by then she had an image to protect. To keep her image up, she had to come across as fearful. She always tried to pick the ones who seemed least needed. Those with out wedding rings, or older in age. People who might be missed but at least the pain would be easier to move on from.

The tactic had worked. It had given her a name and reputation to uphold. And so she did. But now she could see a light at the end of the tunnel. A chance she could finally let that reputation go and become someone else.

She sat in the small house she had taken refuge in months ago, looking over the maps and notes she'd taken from her time scouting. She took a bite of the cornbread and flipped the map over. She hated hitting towns too close together but time was running out. Alexi expected another payment by the end of the week. She knew what happened if she failed to pay it. And she was so close to the end, so close to freedom. One or two more jobs, that was all she needed. Then she could forget these horrible four years.

Her vibrant red hair was tied back in a bun with strands falling out like crazy. She would get a small room at the next inn she saw to freshen up and start scouting again. The tangled curls needed a wash desperately. Initially she had planned to cut it all off, thinking it would help her hide better. But it was the last thing she had to remember her mother by. Memories of her mother's bright red hair always perfectly done, and spending time to make sure Natasha's hair was done. Her mother had come from money but chose her father over that life, but there were some traditions that she could never give up. After leaving her parents she knew she couldn't loose one of the few remaining tethers to them. Although she was sure if her mother could see her now she would disown her. For a lot more than the messy hair. It was easy to stay hidden as long as her hair was hidden. So few red heads around here. It made her stand out quite a bit.

Her eyes darted across the map trying to find the name she had heard while passing through a town to the south. A town just beginning to boom. The perfect place to go. New comers were not yet afraid to put their money in the banks. They still trusted the broken system. And they were always so excited to have a place that would 'protect' their hard earned money.

Another bite of corn bread caused crumbs to fall across the page. She brushed it off and a name caught her eyes. Bandera. There it was. She quickly measured the distance and smiled. just over five miles. If she left now she could make it before dinner. Perhaps get a hot meal and a nice bed to stay in. She quickly gathered her things packing items back into her pack and placing them on her horse sitting outside the small dwelling.

She left her heavy coat, and hat on top, she'd rented every room she'd stayed in the past few years under a different name but every time one thing stayed the same. They always thought she'd been a man. By making it clear the robber had been a woman no one suspected when she rode in as a man. With her hair tucked into the hat, a pair of larger boots, a heavy jacket and some coal brushed across her cheeks and chin it was hard to tell unless they looked really close. Something she never gave them the chance to do.

Strapping the last items down she swung herself up and began her journey. An hour, maybe and hour and half and she'd be there. Silently she prayed this job would be big enough she could be done. Chances were slim she knew, but some of the booming towns brought great wealth. Maybe, just maybe Bandera would be one of them.

Over an hour later she could see the small town growing in the distance. She couldn't help but smile. She nudged her stallion on, excited at the prospects of a warm meal that she didn't have to cook and soft bed. If she was really lucky they would have a bath she could take as well. It felt like forever since she had had the chance to bathe and wash off. Funny how cleaning off could make someone feel so human again. Even when the rest of their actions proved other wise.

As she pulled in she got off the dark horse and led her by the reins through the town. Looking for any sign of an inn or a stable for the horse, as well as scouting out the bank and sheriffs office. Always nice to know where the 'help' might coming from. Especially as towns were now trying to prepare for her arrival. Some had instructed residents to pull their money out of the bank. Others had moved the vault to a different building. Most just put guards out. Guards were easy to deal with.

Most of the guards she had dealt with had been drunk men just looking for a couple extra coins or to "prove" they could do what no other man had done before. Then like the rest they would be unable to do it either.

She saw three men standing outside what appeared to be the sheriffs office, situated right next to the bank. Of all the places it could have been, it had to be right next to her target.

"Of course" she mutter under breath shaking her head. She hated when towns planned things out like this. It was always nice when the sheriff's office was across town. Or even a street or two over. But she was already here. It didn't make sense to turn back now.

It only took seconds for her to decide she would continue her path towards the bank to get a good idea of exit routes. Drawing closer to the men she could see details of each, two dirty blondes stood backs turned towards her, average height and builds. Well scratch that, the one seemed a bit above average. Not one she'd enjoy having to fight off.

Across from him stood a dark haired man. His hat was pulled low, but she could see the star on his vest. The sheriff? Perhaps a deputy? Either way she wanted to commit the face to memory. Keep an eye out for him just in case.

And then she heard him laugh. It seemed so out of place in her mind, a sound she wasn't used to hearing anymore. It almost brought a smile to her face. Almost.

"I'll be fine Steve. I promise. 'Sides if Peggy is so worried tell her to send me over some of that amazing cornbread and apple pie, then I'll be even better. Now both of you go. Adam I'm sure your wife has some chore for you to do around the house. I promise I'll be good." He took a step back and she could see the smile on his face.

Natasha stopped for a minute. He seemed genuinely happy. His features were sharp but somehow comforting and trustworthy. His dark hair was longer than most men kept theirs, but he didn't seem to mind. And honestly neither did she. It looked rather good on him. Especially contrasting those bright blue eyes. Natasha stumbled a bit causing her to fall of the day dream.
The man waved her at and took a step towards her. Instinctively she stepped towards her horse gripping the reins tighter. The man's gun sat on his waist, easy to pull out. Hers sat hidden underneath the heavy coat. She doubted she could get to it before he drew his weapon.

"Everything alright?"

Quickly she nodded her head and kept her eyes down.

"You new to town? Can I help you find something?"

Natasha shook her head and muttered with a deep voice "Just looking to stay the night. Passing through."

She'd had practice with her voice, of course it wasn't perfect but with quick sentences she could make do. She'd had to learn to disguise it. The accent from her homeland was far too recognizable, even more so than her bright hair. Especially in a place where those speaking almost sounded slow or drunk. Words were drawn out and letters skipped over often. It was an odd thing to learn but she'd been forced to do so, and to do it quickly.

The man nodded and took another step towards her "Martha's is where you'll wanna head. Take your next left, it's the white one on the end. Best bed and breakfast for miles 'round. You won't regret it I promise." He gave another smile before nodding his head and taking a couple steps back.

Natasha nodded a thanks and watched the man walk towards the bank. His smile....
She shook her head trying to get it out of her mind. She didn't have time for this. He was just a man. One who would only get in her way. She couldn't be thinking about him now. Besides her experience with men was nothing good and gave her little hope in the gender as a whole.

Frustrated with herself she took his advice heading towards the white bed and breakfast. Next to it stood a little stable. She urged the stallion in and lifted her bags off his back. Tying him up she gave him a gentle pat

"Almost there Dante. Almost I promise. Then I'll find you a good home."

She threw the bags over her shoulder and moved towards the bed and breakfast. She could smell the meat and potatoes cooking and her stomach growled. She picked up her speed and entered the building. Pulling out a coin purse she made her way to the young women standing near the stairs.

"One night please."

"Of course! We still have a room on the main level or several on the second, do you have a preference?"

Natasha shook her head silently pleading the process to speed up.

"Great, I will put you on the main level. The bathroom is down the hall, it is shared between the guests but you're more than welcome to draw a bath before dinner. Most the guests have washed up for the day. Dinner should be ready in about 30 minutes." Her cheery voice almost made Natasha sick. The girl was probably 16 or 17. The same age Natasha had been when she'd left Russia. Odd how two lives could be so different.

"Is it possible to get dinner delivered to the room? I can pay extra."

"Absolutely!" The blonde said with a wide grin. "I would be happy to deliver it myself. Can I just get a name for the reservation?"

She had a name prepared what was it? Natasha racked her brain trying to think

"Steve... Steve Smith."

"Steve? That's our sheriff's name! Have ya'll met?" The blonde said as she wrote down the name and reached for the key.

Natasha shook her head frustrated the blonde could drag out the process so long. She placed few coins on the table and reached for the key. This woman could talk and talk for hours it seemed.

"You'll be in the last room down the hall to your left, please let us know if there is anything we can do to help."

Natasha nodded and moved towards the room. If Steve was the sheriff and the dark haired man had been talking to him that meant the dark haired man must have been his deputy. Not that it mattered. In a town like this deputies and sheriffs often held the same responsibilities.

Unlocking the door she tossed her bag on the ground and shuffled through it to find a new outfit. Holding the bundle of clothes she made her way to the bathroom. A nice bath would be so relaxing after the last couple nights camping.

Drawing the bath took time but she didn't mind. It gave her time to brush through her tangled curls and undress. Insuring the door to the room was locked she slid into the luke warm water and sighed. How long had it been since she'd taken a warm bath? While she had had the funds to stay at nice places, it would have meant digging into the money meant for Dreykov. Meaning more time in his debt. And that wasn't something she wanted to entertain. Best to camp or stay in cheap spots whenever possible. It was nice to relax every now and then, to not have worry about anything for just a few moments. Pretend like her life wasn't a complete mess and that she was just an average young woman trying to live life.

She closed her eyes for a moment letting her muscles loose most of their tension. His face flashed into her mind, that smile with bright blue eyes. She shook herself trying to get him out of her mind. She'd seen him for what? All of two minutes and she couldn't get him out of her mind?
What was wrong with her? He likely didn't even care about her after telling her where to go. And he didn't even know she had been a woman.

Frustrated with herself she began scrubbing at her skin and hair. She could wish all she wanted that she was like other young women and had all the time in the world to dream about futures with handsome men and their charming smiles. But the truth was she wasn't. At this point she wasn't sure she ever could share those dreams.

Finally satisfied she got out of the tub and left it to drain. She dressed leaving the hat and coat next to the door. She wasn't one to take chances, even if her room was just a few steps down the hallway.

She brushed through her thick hair and braided it before twisting it into a tight bun. She pulled the hat on, followed by the coat before she left the wash room and moved towards her bed room. She could see the metal tray out side her door with a heap of potatoes, meat and gravy. Scooping it up before moving inside she felt her stomach growl again.

Locking the door behind her she finally sat down on the bed to a warm meal and a night of preparation.

Chapter Text

Bucky grabbed the woven blanket and pillow from his bed and stuffed them into his bag. He knew he wouldn't need much, it was likely only going to be a few days. At least until they had confirmation the Widow had moved on to other towns further away. If he did forget something or found he needed something his home was only a few minutes away. He was sure the bank could spare him for a few minutes if he needed.

Tossing the bag over his shoulder he grabbed an apple and a deck of cards to keep himself busy. While strangers weren't uncommon in the town something about the one today has struck him as odd. He could tell Steve felt the same way.

The stranger seemed a bit on the smaller side, and his clothes were oversized. Both he and the horse with him looked well traveled and tired. The pack on the horses back looked like it was hanging on by a thread. Even the sound of his voice hadn't felt quite right but no matter how much he thought about it he simply could not put his finger on it.

Martha's had seems liked the logical choice when he had learned the stranger needed a place to stay. Bucky himself had stayed there upon first arriving in town. And he wasn't ashamed to admit he had stopped in for breakfast or dinner on more than one occasion. She knew her way around the kitchen and he was grateful she was willing to share it with the town. Bucky had never been much of a cook himself. He could make a few meals here and there but he was always in such a rush to get from one thing to another that cooking was never something he felt there was time for. Most of his life he hadn't had his mother around and his father had never cared for cooking either. So the idea of coming home to a nice home cooked meal each night wasn't something he was used to. He had loved the option of sitting down to a nice meal of potatoes and what ever meat Martha had cooked up that night. Admittedly he had probably gone too often his first couple of weeks living in Bandera. But for the price and the food, he had considered it well worth it.

Gwendolen, Martha's youngest daughter, was always sweet to him when he would stop in for a meal. Bringing him extra rolls or a dish of cinnamon butter, even a piece of pie on occasion. Steve had told Bucky that the eighteen year old had a crush on him, and while six years wasn't an uncommon difference in age between couples, Bucky just couldn't find himself to think of her as anything more than a sister. Perhaps because she reminded him so much of his own sister. Rebecca had succumbed to tuberculosis at a very young age, the loss was still painful to think about but Gwendolen had filled the spot so well, she laughed and smiled just like Becca had. It almost felt like having her around again. That was until he learned she liked him a bit more than that. He simply couldn't think of her in that way. Looking back he could see the signs that he missed from the beginning but the brotherly instinct in him had ignored it.

He hadn't been around there recently. It had grown awkward now that he knew how she felt about him. He didn't want to hurt the poor girl or lead her on in any way. He wanted her to have every chance she could to find a good man to marry. Didn't want her to be hung up on him. He wasn't the type of guy most girls wanted. And he was sure Gwendolen had made him out to be some one different in her mind. He had to admit though, the thought had crossed his mind more than once that perhaps he should just settle down. While he wasn't old he certainly wasn't getting younger and it would keep the town off his back. But he couldn't do that to her. Or any other young woman in town. They deserved someone who truly cared for them, and Bucky couldn't provide that care or love they would desire.

Bucky tossed his things on the small sitting chair in the back office of bank. The office was squishy, really just meant for the manger to talk private matters over with clients. A small desk with a matching chair, a set of shelves, and the sitting chair filled the room leaving very little open space for one to move around in. The chair was a bit short for his height, but it would do for a few nights, if he really wanted to stretch out he could just sleep on the ground. It wouldn't be the first time he had done so. Likely wouldn't be the last time either.

Bucky looked around at the small space trying to decide how he would best occupy his time here. He'd spend his days at the bank as well unless Steve needed help with something in town. With the Widow being so comfortable striking during the day they had figured it would be safest to just have him stay the night so he would be there during the opening and closing processes as well. If all went well he'd be back in his home in two or three days time. Pulling off his vest and laying his hat down on the desk. He sat on the chair next to his bag to pull of his boots, figuring now was as good a time as any to head to bed for the night.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep when he heard the cries of alarm coming from outside the office. He wasted no time shoving his feet into his boots and grabbing his Colt .45 from the desk and ran through the door. He wasn't sure what to expect as he did so.

"Deputy it's fine, it's fine!" Cried Adam from across the open room. "It's just Miss Samantha Stacy. She decided now would be the best time to tell her sister she's engaged."

Adam rolled his eyes and Bucky looked towards the two women, their cheeks bright red with embarrassment. Samantha was Gwendolen older sister by a year, but most simply assumed the girls were twins. Both had long blonde hair, often worn in braids to keep it off their necks. Their height was within inches of each other and they often dressed almost the same.

"I'm so sorry deputy, I just couldn't help myself. Billy asked me last night and by the time I got home Gwendolen was already busy cleaning up the guest's dinners and there just wasn't time to tell her before we both went to bed for the night." Samantha's voice was filled with joy as she explained the event. She may have been embarrassed by the reaction it had caused but it was clear she was beyond excited for her future. Bucky couldn't blame her. She was about to change her life in what most claimed was the best way possible. Not that he could understand the feeling himself, but he could see the appeal.

Bucky nodded and waved his hand toward the two girls. "It's alright. I understand. Congratulations Miss Stacy. Billy truly is a lucky man. I was sure you were going to tell him no when he finally got the guts to ask you." He gave a slight smirk and the small group of people let out a chuckle.

"I thought she would too." Billy said from behind the counter standing next to the bank's manager Adam "But I guess I lucked out. Caught her in a good mood or something. Next time we have a big announcement I'll remind her to tell Gwendolen in a more private setting."

He glanced towards Gwendolen , standing beside her newly engaged sister. Gwendolen gave him a small wave followed by a bashful smile. He felt a small wave of disappointment as he thought of what Gwendolen must have been feeling at that moment. Samantha was only a year or so her senior and was now engaged to one of the most well known men in the town. Billy helped run the day to day operations at the bank. While he wasn't rich he was certainly on his way. Sure he had his mother to take care of but there was no doubt Samantha would lead a good life.

Not only would be have the money to live a good life style, but she would have a good man by her side to enjoy it with. Gwendolen at the moment had no prospects, mostly because she had been pushing them away in hopes of Bucky showing some interest. He wished he could make her understand that just wasn't going to happen, that she should move on and accept invitations from the other young men in town who had shown great interest in her.

Even if he was interested, he couldn't provide her with the life her sister was about to gain. He likely couldn't even provide her with the life she was accustomed to now. His salary was plenty for him and a wife. But only if the wife was willing to settle. Gwendolen didn't strike him as the type that would be willing to move down in stature. And he wasn't about to change careers to join Billy and Adam running the bank or take over Martha's. That just wasn't him. He needed a life of action, of change. He had hated living the same day over and over again in Brooklyn and he wasn't about to go back to it now that he had tasted the freedom of being a Deputy.

As the crowd settled down Bucky placed his gun back in his holster and ran a hand through his hair trying to brush out some of the tangles. Bucky could hear his father's voice telling him to cut his hair so he would look presentable, look more like the son he wished he had. Less like a disgrace, bring respect to the family. Or some other insulting talk. Perhaps that was why he rarely cut it now. He wanted to stray as far from the life his father had wanted for him.

Shaking his head and rubbing his eyes he turned to return to the office to retrieve his vest and hat. He needed a glass of water and something to eat so he could actually wake up for the day. He moved his head from side to side as he walked trying to work out the kinks from his awkward sleeping positions the night before.

Until the front door opened and he caught site of her. Vibrant red hair pulled into a tight braid, with a few pieces loose around curling around her face and bright green eyes. He froze for a moment taking in the stranger. She wore tight pants and a pair of dark boots. Pants.... Bucky had to stop himself from staring. It wasn't that he hadn't seen a woman in pants before but this was - well different, they looked good. Better than good. The corset on her waist was pulled tight, accenting her slender waistline, with a loose dark shirt tucked beneath it. She walked with an air of confidence around her. She was bound to stand out from any crowd, if not by her hair, then the clothes she wore would surely set her apart in any crowd.

Bucky blinked and shook his head to clear his mind for a moment before taking a step towards the strangler his hand held out to shake hers. "Welcome to Ban...."

That was when she shot the first bullet.

Chapter Text

As the Deputy stepped towards her Natasha panicked and let off a shot. The crack of splintering wood could be heard right before the screams echoed through out the room. How could she be so stupid? A bullet? Already? She had never done it so early. She always waited, trying to use it to her advantage, only when she absolutely needed to. Especially being so close to the Sheriff's office. The noise was sure to be heard. This was anything but to her advantage. Shaking her head Natasha stood her ground and watched the six people in the room begin to panic. No doubt all of them were looking for a way out. Natasha stood in front of the locked doors gun in hand. The back door wasn't visible from this angle, anyone who attempted to run for it could easily be shot down before they could make there. Judging by their frozen statures it was clear they understood that.

The young blonde girl from the bed and breakfast held to a women who looked almost exactly like her possibly a year is so older. Terror could be seen in both their eyes. Two men stood behind counters glancing between each other and the Deputy. One of them glanced at the two young women huddled together. And an elderly women sat on a bench near the front doors both confused and scared at the same time.

And then there was him.

She hadn't expected to see him there. Disheveled and well, handsome. He almost looked as if he had just woken up. His dark hair tangled around his face, his shirt half tucked into his dark pants. It looked as if he had shoved his feet into his boots in a hurry. His pants were tucked in some areas and hanging out in others. The hat from the night before was missing, but it looked better. Didn't hide as much of his face this way. He really was a sight for sore eyes. But that didn't matter now.

She was here for one thing and one thing only. She would take the money and go, she would bring it Dreykov and she would be free. That would be the end of it all. She would leave Texas, go east and get as far away as possible. She wouldn't let this terrible past follow her once she was free from this. She would find a place her reputation couldn't follow her and make a new life for herself. She would start over, become a new woman. Maybe she would finally get a chance to fulfill her childhood dreams.

"Sit." She commanded in a fierce tone. She made no effort to hide her accent now. There really was no reason too. At this point she hoped that just maybe it would help her, perhaps they would think that it was some one else robbing the bank. Up until this point she had been careful to keep the accent at bay each time. She took a step towards the deputy, gun pointed directly at him. "Now"

Silently the dark haired man nodded and slowly took a seat on the floor. The two young woman hesitantly followed his example still gripping each others hands as they did so. Their skirts piled around them and they tried to pull them in as if to make themselves a smaller target.

"Give me the gun" Natasha stepped towards him lowering her hand to take the weapon.
He looked up at her and handed her the gun from his holster. His electric blue eyes met hers, they were filled with determination. She had never seen someone in his situation react like this. Every one else had had their eyes filled with fear, but that was none to be seen in his. Instead he seemed concerned.

"You're the one they've been talking about aren't you? The Black Widow? Let Miss May go. She's startled easy and I worry what the stress may do to her heart. Please. She doesn't do you any good here. Just another person to look after, I promise you it will be easier if you just let her go."

He was one of those. One who would plead for the others safety before his own. She could never understand those people. It made no sense to her. Why put your own life at risk? It simply did not make sense.

She shook her head before taking the rope from her belt and tossed in front of him, it landed in a pile in front of his knees. He looked up at her his eyebrows "Tie them up. Now."

She placed the gun to his forehead and nodded towards Gwendolen and the woman who had to be her sister. Gwendolen's hands were wrapped around the other woman's arm pulling her close to her. Both looked terrified when Natasha looked towards them. Their grips on each other tightened and Gwendolen closed her eyes. As the deputy complied and finished the task she nodded to 'Miss May' as he had called her.

"Please just let her go. You have the rest of us. That should be enough. You do not need her too. She's raising her nephew, he's already lost his parents. Don't let him loose her too." His eyes pleaded with her. Begging for her to agree. She had to admit the story was compelling but the consequences of letting someone go weren't worth it. Besides if everyone followed her directions with out any disagreeing then Miss May would make it out just fine, along with everyone else.

"I said tie them up." She muttered frustrated with him. He nodded and stood to comply with the command.

He really was going to be a thorn in her side if he kept this up much longer. She couldn't risk one person leaving. The Sheriff's office was next door. How foolish did he think she was? She may have been young but she'd had far more experience on her than most the people in the room at the moment. All it took was Miss May running out screaming and in minutes the entire town to know what was happening in the bank. And then it was all ruined. It was already not going how she had hoped and she wasn't about to let it drift away even further.

Once he had finished she pointed at the older man behind the counter. The man who had been standing next to the Deputy and Sheriff the night before. Guessing by his age he was the one in charge, he was more likely to have keys on him than the younger was. He stood frozen his eyes staring at her and following the situation unfolding in front of her. "The vault. Open it."

The younger of the two shook his head confirming her suspensions, while the older continued to stand frozen in his terror. The younger man continued glancing between the two young women now tied up and the Deputy.

"I said open it Adam. It doesn't take a genius to do so. If I had to guess you have done this more than once, you should know very well how to do so. Just take the keys and open it. I will take care of the rest."

Caught of guard by the use of his name the man stumbled back and fell to the floor. Lifting her gun Natasha let off another shot, this time towards the ceiling. Every shot was another chance for someone outside to hear her but she needed to scare them into following her instructions. She was growing impatient. This was taking far longer than she wanted it to. Every minute longer she was in there was a minute too long. As soon as the shot had fired she grabbed the Deputy and forced him on to his feet. She kept him between her and Adam. She jammed the gun into his side narrowing her eyes. "I will not tell you again Adam. The next one goes in your Deputy's ribs. Is that understood?"

She saw the Deputy tense and she felt the change in the air. He had complied to easily... Had gotten up when she pulled him to his feet, hadn't put up a fight. He had simply agreed to everything she said, the only thing he questioned was if she would let Miss May go. How had she been so foolish? Of course there was something planned. Why else would have been here looking like this? No one went to a bank looking like they had just gotten out of bed. Had he stayed the night there? Waiting for her? That was a new one. Especially since she had never struck a bank at night.

When Adam finally stood again he held a single shot revolver, his hands shook as he spoke, the fear in his voice evident. what fool had given this man a gun? Clearly he had no idea how to use it. He was going to hurt someone, and if he was lucky it wouldn't be himself. "Dr-drop your weapon or I'll shoot!"

The poor man looked as if he had never held a gun in his entire life. Living the lifestyle of a banker she wouldn't be surprised if that was the truth. His fingers trembled and she feared if he did shoot he would harm himself or someone else and miss her entirely. This day was so far off track and in such a short time frame. This had been a huge mistake. She should have skipped this stupid town all together.

"You don't want to do that Adam. Your wife would be so disappointed to find you a victim of the Black Widow. You and I both know you don't have much experience with guns. Do you really want to risk it? Can you really live with the idea of of taking someone's life? We both know I can. What is one more life on my record?"

"I-I said drop it!" He stuttered again as the gun shook in his hands. The fear in his eyes was evident. Nothing like the Deputy. This man was driven strictly by fear and that could work in her favor. Those driven by fear never made the right decisions, they made the first one that came to their mind, the one that would 'fix' the problem the fastest. It wouldn't take much to provoke him to use his only shot. And judging by the shaking in his hands, his shot wouldn't hit his target.

The deputy shifted in front of her placing himself between Natasha and Adam. "Drop it Widow. We don't want to hurt you. You don't need this town's money too. You have to have enough by now. Let them go, and we will let you go. We won't chase you, we won't hunt you down. You'll get away scotch free. I promise, let them go and you never have to worry about us again." His voice was so soothing so comforting, she almost wanted to trust him.

Natasha shook her head and placed her finger on the trigger. What did he know? She would have enough when her freedom could be paid for. When she could walk away from this life. When she could get away from Alexei and Dreykov for good. Then it would be enough and only then. She wouldn't let any one tell her differently. They didn't know her circumstances. They didn't know her life. They never would.

Before she could fire her own gun she heard the loud pop of a gun. Between the screams and the confusion it took her a minute to find her bearings. There was no pain. No red hot blood. She hadn't been shot. Just as she thought, his shaking hands and inexperience had led to him missing his shot. Frustrated she fired, aiming for his leg. One victim was all she ever wanted. Never more. She would have to leave them wounded enough they couldn't follow. The deputy though... He'd have to go. Adam she knew had a family. The younger man had bolted for Gwendolen's copy as soon as Adam's gun had gone off. Wrapping her in his arms before Natasha could shoot. The ring on the woman's finger made it clear that if they were not yet married they planned to be. The Deputy though, had no ring. No woman with him the night before. Had likely spent the night in the bank. No married man did that willingly. No wife in her right mind would have let him knowing the risks and the reasons behind it.

Looking around she finally glimpsed where Adam's bullet had landed. The deputy had taken the hit. Nothing fatal. But his shoulder didn't look good, the tan shirt was now soaked in fresh blood. there was a lot more than she would have expected. He pushed against it with his right hand trying to stop the bleeding. He looked up at her and shook his head.

"Let them go." He muttered as he took a shaky step towards her. "Take me. I will help you get what ever you want, whatever you need. Just let them go"

She could hear the front doors shaking from others from the town trying to get in. No doubt the Sheriff was leading the cause. The locks wouldn't hold long. Not long enough for her to get the money. She would have to leave and plan a new attempt in another town. Somewhere far away. today was falling apart. A giant mess.

"The back door. Lead me and they all go free."

The deputy nodded and took another shaky step towards the back. She followed quickly the gun still drawn. How had things gone wrong so fast? She'd had guns drawn on her. Been fired at, even taken a bullet. But this time it had failed so miserably. Dreykov would surely kill her.... He would find her and kill her himself. He always found a way to track her down, he had for years. This would be no different. Perhaps she should have surrendered, a night in a small town jail cell seemed far better than anything Dreykov would do to her once he found out.

No. She couldn't go back now. She had a chance. Maybe the Deputy could bring in a nice ransom. Or at least a distraction. She shoved the gun into his back and pushed him away from the front doors, towards the back of the Bank.

Chapter Text

He groaned in pain as the bullet pierced his skin. He had shot him. Adam had actually shot him. Bucky almost couldn't believe it, then again it was Adam. He had instructed the man not to fire for any reason. He didn't trust him with a gun. The man had never shot one in his life, and now was not the time to try it out. He had been so clear about it. Just use the gun to scare her, convince her to back off. But under no circumstance was he to pull the trigger. He wasn't sure what else he could have said to make it clear that Adam was not to fire the gun... Yet what had he done? Fired. And not at the Widow, but at Bucky. He shouldn't have given him a loaded gun. That much was on him. But if Adam had simply listened to him for two minutes, Bucky wouldn't be holding his shoulder as he led a wanted thief through their bank towards her escape. And this was why he had told Steve he needed to be here. Civilians were not ready for this kind of action. They never knew what to do even when it had been laid out plain as day to them. At least now he could hold it over Steve's head. That was if he could make it out of this alive.

The pain was searing but at least he had her distracted. If he could keep it that way then the pain would be worth it. She was willing to let everyone else go. He knew he couldn't risk her changing her mind. Sure she had shot Adam, but by the look of it it was just a flesh wound. Couple of stitches from the town Doc and he would be just fine. Probably left with a decent scar but other than that he would recover quickly.

Besides after the stunt he had just pulled, Bucky felt that Adam kind of deserved it. Bucky probably wouldn't be quite so lucky, the chances of him getting stitches from some one he trusted were very slim now. Chances of getting stitches at all were probably pretty low. Bucky led the way towards the bank's back exit and pushed it open with his good arm. He could feel the hot sticky blood staining through his shirt, his right hand was covered in it as he tried to keep a steady pressure on the open wound, but the angle made it hard to keep the pressure. Droplets of the red liquid hit the ground creating an easy trail to follow. The blood loss would get to him soon if he couldn't stop it. He knew he needed medical attention, but doubted he would be getting it anytime soon. Bucky could already feel the dizziness begin to sink in as he stumbled foreword towards the back exit.

The edges of his vision were beginning to blur. His legs felt weak and all he wanted to do was sit down and close his eyes. He reached out his right hand to steady himself against the wall. His legs felt like a hundred pounds each with each step he took. After what felt like hours his hand finally hit the door frame.

He looked back to see the red head nod towards a dark chestnut colored horse grazing on the weeds growing between the bank and the Sheriff's office. The horse looked familiar but he wasn't sure why. His mind was growing fuzzy piecing things together wasn't happening. "Can you ride?"

Silently Bucky nodded. The Widow pushed him foreword with the gun, the look in her eye was wild. She was desperate to get out of there. "Get on."

Bucky didn't see how he possibly could. All feeling in his left arm was gone. He tried to move his fingers but there was nothing. No movement or feeling, he couldn't even lift it. There was just an odd numbness he had never felt before, almost as if something was missing. He couldn't use it to get on the stupid horse, and couldn't see a way to get on one handed. Surely she would understand that? If she didn't maybe she would just leave his body there. Then his friends wouldn't have to search for him...

"Get on!" The Russian voice came out almost scared. He could see the desperate fear in her eyes. She was so young. No more than Twenty, maybe Twenty-One. Yet those eyes, they held so much more than Twenty years. What could have caused some one so young to do things so drastically. What could she have seen or been through?

"I can't. I can't move my arm..." he nodded to the wound. His once tan shirt now dark with blood. "You get on and I will distract them, you'll be able to get away. I'll keep them from coming after you, no one chasing you, no one finding where ever you hide, just you and your freedom. You have my word."

He prayed it would be enough. If he could get her out of the town it would be enough, she could find some other town to hit. And he could get medical attention. His body was growing weaker by the minute. His legs were already beginning to feel like rubber beneath him. He heard the crash of the front doors, followed by screams from those still inside the small building. It would only be a few moments before they followed them back here. If she didn't get on now he knew she would take him down. Possibly others. The first one to come through the door would likely be Steve. He would be such an easy target if he did.

Almost as if she was reading his mind she said "Get on or I kill the sheriff do you understand?"

Bucky nodded and stepped towards the horse. He wasn't about to put his best friend's life on the line. Not when he had the chance to prevent it. Especially not with him engaged to Peggy. He wasn't ready to face the brit's wrath. Closing his eyes against the pain in his shoulder he used his right arm to pull himself up and struggled to get on. It took much longer than what he was used to, unable to just swing on now, but eventually he made it. It took her only seconds to swing on in front of him. "You jump off and I will not hesitate to kill you. Slow me down in any way and I will not hesitate to kill the Sheriff and any one else who comes out that door."

The accent was heavy, not quite as thick as her first words when she'd entered the bank less than fifteen minutes before. But it was still quite noticeable. None of the accounts or articles he and Steve had gone over mentioned an accent. But the fiery red hair had been noted in almost every account, after all it was vibrant and so very different from almost all the women living around this area. It was bound to make her stand out from any crowd. How had he not remembered that when she walked in? How could he have ignored such an obvious sign? Why hadn't he connected the dots? Stopped her before it got this far? Shot her before she shot? He could have taken her down before Adam shot. But it was too late to dwell on the past. It would get him no where now. Now he could only hope that just maybe Steve would find a trail that could lead him to where ever the Widow was taking him. While the blood trail had been easy to see in the bank, ridding on a horse in the desert would be a very different story. Especially with the winds constantly blowing the sand away. What did end up hitting the ground would likely be covered in only a matter of minutes. It wouldn't make for an easy trail to follow unless they were right on the Widow's trail, but she was too vigilant to let that happen to her.

The horse took off in a gallop as the crowd burst through the back door. Bucky could see Steve's dirty blonde hair at the front, gun drawn ready to shoot the next thing that moved. Several others trailed out after him. Barton stood behind Steve shaking his head, Billy stood holding the gun Adam had shot earlier. What a fool. The gun was a single shot revolver. He wouldn't have any idea how to reload the weapon, and it would be useless now. But all the guns the others held too. They were too far for an accurate shot now.

He could only imagine the confusion on Steve's face as he watched the scene unfolding in front of him. Bucky wasn't quite sure what was happening himself. He was now riding away with the woman who only moments earlier had been holding him at gun point in front of his friends and neighbors. The town could easily assume he had been in on it, those in the bank could push that storyline easily if they really wanted to. He closed his eyes praying they would understand. While he hadn't been there long he loved them. He'd do anything to protect them. That's what he was doing it now, wasn't it?

As the horse moved through the desert. Bucky felt himself slowly drift off, his head began to bob with the movements of the horse. The loss of blood and the excitement of the day taking over his exhausted and wounded body. Everything around him became dark and he faintly felt himself falling. Everything after that was black as sleep took over completely.

Chapter Text

Natasha felt the weight from behind her fall and she heard the crash into the desert sand. She slowed Dante to a stop and looked back to see the Deputy on the ground unconscious with dust swirling in the air round him, most likely from the loss of blood. By now he had to have lost quite a bit of it. She couldn't tell for certain how bad the wound was, but his shirt and hand had been covered in blood before he even got on Dante's back. Perhaps she should have left him to their town doctor to tend to. Now he lay on the ground, the blood mixing with sand. She'd have to do her best to clean the wound and try to prevent infection when they got to her hide out. A journey that would now take twice as long to complete.

The man couldn't even make it a quarter mile further to her hide out. Angered and frustrated by the delay she jumped down from the horse and moved to lift him. He had at least 4 or 5 inches of height on her, and based on his build he could have easily had a good amount of weight on her as well. His body was well defined and she had no doubt most the weight came from muscle, though that didn't change anything about the situation. He still weighed more than her and would be difficult for her to move around. A quarter mile under normal circumstances would be quick to traverse. Now she knew it would take a while. That was of course, if she could even get him there.

Why she wouldn't just leave him there to die she couldn't understand. Being injured certainly hadn't stopped her before. She had done it a few times, it shouldn't have changed anything. In fact it should have made the decision that much easier. He would now be a burden on her. Maybe it was because he was so close to her refuge, but she had a sinking feeling that was not the reason why. He was so different. He had cared for the people desperately. He had practically begged for their lives. Not his own. He was so willing to trade his own life for theirs. He hadn't once complained about the bullet in his shoulder. Had basically ignored it until she told him to get on the horse. And even once on the horse he hadn't said a word aside from the occasional grunt or groan that she assumed came from the discomfort.

She knelt down in the dirt and managed to maneuver him up putting his good arm around her shoulders, holding his hand with one of her own to keep in it place while wrapping her other arm around his waist. Taking most of his weight as she dragged him across the desert, dust trialing behind them covering their boots in it. She stumbled for the first few steps trying to adjust to the limp weight. Once she figured out the best way to move with him the rest of the term went much smoother. Dante followed closely behind, and she could only imagine what was going through his mind watching her struggler to carry this man.

Natasha could almost hear the horse mocking her between whinnies and saying "I just carried both of you for a much longer time and yet here you are struggling for the last 10 minutes?"

She could see the small area of run down houses and stables just ahead of them. For months she had hidden out here. The location made it easy to hit a few towns in the radius with out traveling for long periods of time. She had stayed in other places before, but none of them were quite as well positioned or comfortable as this one had been, but she knew her time here was coming to an end. She had hit nearly every town nearby. It wasn't worth hitting most of these places a second time. The little run down town had been left alone for years, basically forgotten. The people having left after a large outbreak of smallpox had stolen the lives of most of their residents. Most those living near the area forgot it had ever existed or had never known about it, making it easy to hide out as long as she was careful with fires and noise. Those who did know about it or remembered it still feared they may catch the pox if they stepped foot in the cursed town. Natasha was grateful for the fear and superstition caused by the town's tragic past. It made it much easier and safer to hide with out worrying about someone stumbling across her unexpectedly. So far she had only seen one person come through, and they didn't stop to check out any of the homes or empty buildings. All she had had to do was duck below the open window and stay silent until they were out of ear shot.

After what felt like ages of dragging the deputy through the dirt and dust she had finally been able to pull him into one of the smaller houses on the edge of town, a simple one room building. The family had clearly left it in a hurry, leaving behind most of their possessions - beds, blankets, plates, pots and pans. And she was grateful for every bit they had left. She had so little when she first arrived, but the leftovers had made it that much easier to hide out. She didn't have to purchase dishes for cooking, and she could leave them here when the time came to leave for good.

Dante had followed the couple and stopped just outside the home. Natasha had pulled a trough and filled it with grass, along with a bucket of water sitting next to it. It wasn't ideal for him she knew. He could do with a good shade, or a decent barn. But that would have to wait, once she was done she had promised to find him a good family. One that would treat him better than his first family, and better than she was now. He had been such a good horse to her. He deserved that much from her.

Natasha tried to gently lay the Deputy on one of the beds near the window that had been left behind, but her attempt failed and he hit with a soft thump and a low painful groan escaped from his lips. At least now she knew he was still alive. It probably wasn't the best way to find out, but there wasn't anything she could do about that now. She would have been rather pissed to have dragged him all that way only to find he'd died before she'd even gotten him there. That would have been just her luck after today's events.

The red head moved across the room to search through her bags for the small canteen of water and a clean cloth to clean his wound. Finding the water and a bundle of old rags she tucked them under one arm before she caught a glimpse of a clear bottle sitting near the bottom of her satchel. Her father had given it to her before leaving the homeland. A gift to celebrate with when she finally accomplished her dreams. A Russian treat, one she knew she would never find here.

"Natasha what are you thinking...." She muttered under her breath in her native tongue, rolling her eyes as she grabbed the vodka. "He better be worth it."

She knelt beside the man and used her knife to cut away his blood stained shirt. The blood had dried across most of the shirt, minus the spot nearest the wound. She tried to keep her mind focused on the task at hand, not the well defined muscles that the shirt had hidden so well. But it proved to be a much harder task than she would have thought. Her eyes traced along the light patch work of scars running across his torso and continuing on to his back. She knew from experience each scar told a story, but rarely was it one worth repeating to someone. And now, she had added another one to his map.

She dipped the clean cloth she had found in the water and began to gently wash away the dried blood and dirt from around the wound. From what she could tell the bullet had not gone through, but was instead lodged inside his shoulder somewhere. A dangerous situation surely, but she wasn't sure she had the skills required to find the bullet safely either. He was already on the boarder of life and death and if she were to dig the bullet out she was certain she would be pushing him closer to death. If he survived she would take him to see Howard. He would be a better option than just going for it and hoping for the best.

When she finished cleaning the wound she reached for the small bottle of vodka. A departure gift, it was meant to be used to celebrate her freedom when she first arrived in the United States. Freedom she'd been promised but never granted.

Sighing she used her teeth to pull out the cork and poured a small amount of the liquid on to a corner of the cloth. With any luck she would still have a small amount left over to celebrate with... someday. She gently dabbed the cloth on the wound and was pleasantly surprised to feel him jerk beneath it. If he could jerk and move that was a good sign. He had enough energy to make those movements happen, even if they weren't voluntary. His breathing picked up a bit as he moaned and moved again from the stinging sensation. She paused for a moment to make sure he didn't wake before she continued. Gently she started again, the Deputy jerked with each press of the damp clothe to his skin but she continued to clean and sterilize the wound until she'd felt she'd done her best to prevent an infection from taking place. She would have to get him to Stark's place to take care of the bullet soon, but he was in no position to move again right away. Especially not for an hour or so on horse back. They would have to wait until he was stable again, and had a chance to regain some strength.

She gathered the bloody rags and dropped them in the near empty bowl of water. She placed the cork back in the vodka bottle and sat it next to the bowl of bandages. Standing to rummage through her bags once more for a set of bandages to cover the wound she heard a soft whisper come from behind her.

"Why?"

The raspy voice was so faint she almost thought she'd imagined it. But when she turned to look at him she could see his eyes open just a bit, staring at her. He repeated himself once more "Why save me?"

Natasha stood still for a moment staring at the deputy. Truth be told she was still trying to find the answer to that question herself.

"I don't know...." She muttered quietly before returning to her search. She grabbed an old shirt that looked mostly clean and began tearing it up. Why had he asked her that? Why was it bothering her so much? She turned back to look at him confusion covering her face. His eyes were closed again. He lay with his good arm across his chest, his breathing was heavy and she could see sweat glistening on his chest and forearms. Why has she saved him?

She moved next to him once more with the torn up shirt. "I am sorry Deputy but I need to wrap it to help prevent more blood loss."

Natasha lifted his wounded arm to wrap the makeshift bandage around it. She was met with a yelp. His eyes shot open and she could see the pain in his eyes. A sting of guilt shot through her heart. She couldn't decide if it would be better to work fast to mitigate the pain or to be careful to minimize the risk of more damage. In the end despite the pain in his eyes she decided to work carefully. She laid his limp arm on her lap to keep it lifted and easier to work with. His good hand clenched into a tight fist and she could see his legs tighten under the pain. Natasha tied off the end of the bandage and gently laid his arm beside him.

"Thank you..." he muttered the words with his eyes closed and shuddered. Natasha grabbed a blanket off her bed and laid it across him.

"You shouldn't be thanking me."

Chapter Text

Bucky struggled to open his eyes. They were heavy and dream like, but he knew he wasn't dreaming because every muscle in his body ached. His shoulder was by far the worst. It felt like it was burning. He felt so weak. He just wanted to sink back into a deep sleep, but the smell of cooking meat drew him out. His grumbling stomach wasn't about to forgot the smell. He groaned as he tried to sit himself up. Forgetting about his shoulder for just a moment, he moved to put weight on his left arm to help push himself up. He cried out as a sharp pain vibrated through his chest and immediately dropped back to the bed, his right hand shot up to grab his shoulder and he closed his eyes tightly against the stinging sensation. He moaned as he tried to bite back the pain. He rocked slightly on his back trying to distract himself from the pain.

The pain stopped at his shoulder, after that it was just numb. No pain, no aching, just nothing. When the pain in his chest and shoulder subsided from his first attempt to sit, he tried once again. This time he moved slowly, using his right arm to push himself up. But the effort was still more than he had the strength to accomplish. Every inch of his body was sore and weak, he felt as if he had been hit by a bull. Followed by the bull proceeding to trample over him. He had no doubt that the bruises could have easily proven that.

"You are not strong enough. Lay back down."

The voice was soft and gentle. Nothing like what he'd heard in the bank. Young and fearful then. He looked around until he saw the bright red hair standing across the room next to a wood burning stove with an iron pot on top. He could hear the water boiling in the pot and whatever was in the water was making his stomach growl louder.

"You have lost a lot of blood. I cleaned what I could and bandaged it but the bullet is still inside. Moving it now will likely cause more damage. You need to lay still and rest."

"Where...." He struggled to piece together the words within the fog in his mind. His throat felt dry and the words scratched at it as he tried to get them out. "Where are we?"

He was laying shirtless with a bandage wrapped around his left shoulder. There was a faint faint pink color staining through it. A rainbow of bruises sprinkled across his chest and arms. He must have been a sight for sore eyes. He was laying on a thin mattress on the floor of what appeared to be a small sitting room. Cupboards, the wood burning stove, and a basin meant to be used as a sink indicated the area across from him was meant to be a kitchen. A wooden table sat between his location and that kitchen. Four matching chairs were tucked under it and dust seemed to cover most of it's surface.

"Somewhere safe." She muttered and pulled out a piece of meat. She nodded to a clear bottle sitting next to the bed he was resting on. "You should drink some. It will help numb the pain you are feeling. When I change the bandages I will clean it again."

Bucky stared at her confused with what was happening. Why had she saved him? Wasn't she the infamous Black Widow? If she was why wasn't he dead? Was she just a copy cat who couldn't go through with murder? Someone who had been hoping to make a quick score and wasn't ready for things to turn south. Or was she really her? The ruthless killer, the woman with no care in the world who she hurt or took from? He just couldn't see that in her. She seemed so innocent and young. So caring and kind. The two perspectives of her just didn't fit together.

"I made you some dinner." her words interrupted his thoughts. She turned to look at him with a plate of food in her hand, narrowing her eyes as she spoke. "I will help you sit, don't do it alone. It would be best to lean against the wall so you do not have to support yourself while you eat."

She moved away from the stove towards him. Instinct kicked in and Bucky tried to move away from her. She had just robbed his town's bank and that action had caused him to get shot. The last thing he wanted was to be near her. But now she was acting as if none of it had happened? L But there wasn't much he could do to get away, with the numbness in his arm and lack of space he resigned himself to letting her help. She bent down, and sat the plate of food on the ground beside the mattress. She took his good arm and pulled it gently to help him up, guiding his back to the wall behind him.

"There's not much. I didn't get a chance to get more food thanks to the stunt your friend decided to pull in there. You needed help and I couldn't risk leaving you alone to get more food. So I had to work with what I had already." He could hear the bitterness in her voice as she spoke about the encounter.

She grabbed the plate and put it on his lap and moved back to the kitchen to dish up her own plate. The meat smelt like amazing but he couldn't quite place the smell. The pieces of meat sat on top of what appeared to be scones. He poked at the meat with the fork she had given him, not sure what he was testing it for, but it made sense to do in the moment. The woman who had tried to kill him had just handed him a plate full of food. No one in their right mind would just trust that. But his stomach was starting to take over.

"Avar Khinkal." She said from across the room. "Boiled lamb and scones. It's not quite the same as my grandmother's but it does the job." she sat down across from him on a woven rug and took her own plate. She did not hesitate to dig in, pushing a rather large piece of lamb into her mouth, followed by a piece of crumbling scone.

"Why did you save me?" He stared at her. She wouldn't look up from her plate of food even to answer his question.

"I already told you. I don't know." She shoved another bite of the lamb into her mouth and shook her head.

"Who are you?"

"You already know that." The accent was sharp. Almost hurt, with a bit of annoyance.

"Why our town?"

"Eat your food before it gets cold."

Bucky picked up a piece of the boiled meat and took a bite. He wasn't sure what he had expected the meat to taste like but he was pleasantly surprised by the flavor of it. It was filled with flavor. The scones were flakey and filled with butter, they seemed like they melted in his mouth. It was absolutely delicious. "Where are you from?"

She looked up at him with a side eye confused. "New Jersey."

He scoffed at her response and shook his head. Around here most people may have believed that, but she just happened to be stuck with one of two men who would know she was lying. The docks he had worked on were full of men from Jersey. Not one of them sounded even close to the widows accent.

"No you're not. At least not originally. I grew up in Brooklyn. I knew dozens of people from New Jersey. There were some odd accents for sure but not a one of them spoke like you. Where are you really from?"

She looked up at him her bright eyes reflecting the flickering fire light before looking back down at her meal. "Russia...."

Bucky stared at her for a moment trying to figure it out. Even during his time living in New York he hadn't run into many Russians. Most of them had been ship hands. Only in port for a couple hours, or at most a day or two. Out here? None. From what he understood it wasn't an easy trip to make. Weeks of travelling by horseback, or for those who could afford it by train which was followed by weeks crossing the ocean on a boat. And then another trip out west to make it here? The cost alone was enough to stop most people from ever even dreaming about making it in their lifetime. Those who had made it were generally the oldest son of the family, trying to save money to bring the rest over, on a very rare occasion the oldest daughter. "Russia? How did y-"

"I do not talk about it. Eat your dinner." She pushed another bite into her mouth while keeping her eyes on the plate.

Bucky nodded understanding he couldn't push his luck, she had saved him but for what purpose? She clearly didn't care for his questions. He took another bite and reached for the clear bottle. He took a quick drink before immediately spitting it out. The bitter taste stuck and he shoved in a piece of scone trying to get the after taste out of his mouth.

"What is that?!?"

The Widow looked up and met his eyes for the first time since he had awoken. She let out a chuckle and and her lips curled into a soft smile "Vodka, a Russian drink. It calms nerves. Also gets one very drunk. Makes for great family parties."

Bucky almost smiled at the woman's chuckle, the sound made her seem so human and innocent. That was until he remembered the situation he was currently in. He shook his head and set the bottle down near his feet. The laugh may have matched her face but it was yet another piece that didn't fit the Black Widow persona she had created for herself during the last few years

"It's disgusting. I don't know why any one would want to drink that willingly." He shook his head truly confused why they would make such a terrible drink. "How long was I out?"

"Seven or eight hours. It's late. I didn't want to risk the smoke being seen and draw attention to us. I had to wait until sun down to start dinner. You passed out during the ride here and fell off the horse. I had to drag you in." The annoyance in her voice had grown quite a bit, and he could understand why. She was a small woman, dragging him wouldn't have been an easy task. He had to have a hundred pounds on her as well as several inches. Watching her drag him in surely would have been a sight to see. He could almost imagine his body laying limp while she struggled across the sands. But he could also imagine the frustration she would have felt trying to get him into the little home.

The fall did explain the sore feeling that he had across most, if not all of his body as well as the bruises he had noticed earlier when he first woke. Given a couple days the sore feeling and the discoloration would go away, unlike the pain in his shoulder. His body would recover easily from the fall, but a bullet wound would take time and would need proper attention to insure that it was healing the right way. She had told him that she cleaned the wound but had left the bullet which lead him to believe she didn't have the proper training to take care of it. She could clean it and change his bandages all she wanted but he would need real help so that it would have the best chance of healing right. He wasn't sure if he would actually be able to get the help needed. For all he knew he might just be extending the inevitable. Maybe it would be better to just give in now if all she planned to do was draw out the pain and let him die after all. That would fit the persona of the Black Widow, unlike the actions he had seen her do since waking.

"What is you name?" The question confused him as much as it did her. But he had to admit he wanted to know. No. He needed to know. He doubted she'd give it to him, but if he was able to get just a little bit of information he could try and befriend her, maybe it would save his life. Maybe it would end it sooner.

Chapter Text

Natasha's body froze.

Had he really just asked her what her name was? Why would he care what her name was? What would it matter to him if her knew her name or not? What made him think she was going to tell him? Surely it wouldn't change anything about their situation. It wouldn't help him. But more importantly than any of those questions, why did she feel the desire to tell answer his question?

She knew the best option would be to stay away from the full truth, to just give him partials. Enough to keep him satisfied, even if it was only temporary. Lies became too hard to keep up with, they could get away from one far to easily. And life had gotten away from her too much in recent days. But the truth was easy so long as she remembered what parts she had told him and what she elected to stay away from. "I believe they call me Black Wi-"

"I know what they call you. Trust me, I've read just about everything that I could get my hands on that mentioned anything about you but there isn't a single account that gives your name. You know? The name your parents or siblings called you? The name you went by before this Black Widow bank robber lifestyle of yours? What would friends call you? Even a nickname would do."

"It doesn't matter. I don't use it anymore, and I don't have any friends." She kept her eyes low but she could still feel his gaze on her. He was relentless and so determined to get answers out of her. Answers about a woman he had just met. He took another bite of the lamb and shook his head. She hadn't lied though, she had no one to call her by her birth name. Or a nickname. Everyone she cared about was still in Russia. At least she hoped they were...

"It matters because you saved my life and now it would appear I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future. I need to call you something and I'm not loving the idea of say 'Hey Black Widow' every time I address you. Its long and awkward. And I think we would both like to move on from the events of the past day. Saying 'Black Widow' a dozen times a day won't help me to do that, and I doubt it would help you. It would get rather annoying for both of us, 'sides if you don't tell me I'll just come up with somethin' and I don't think you'll care for any of the names I come up with. Right now I am thinking Delphine? Or maybe Birdie? Do you have a preference?"

He made a good point. He was stuck with her, ignoring his request for her name would result in him calling her Birdie. And she so hated the idea of him calling her Birdie, or something much worse, whenever he tried to get her attention. Neither one of them know how long he would be stuck here, and while he was healing he would need a lot of help. Help she would have to provide for him. Why had she saved him? Even she honestly didn't know. The entire day had gone off track so quickly she wasn't sure what she was doing or why she'd left him alive. Decisions had been made so quickly and now she felt it was too late to go back on them. She was in too deep now. It was all just a big mess. She had no idea what she was going to do with him or how long she would be keeping him around. She needed time to figure all that out. Time she wasn't sure she had.

"Natasha." She said deciding to give him the name Dreykov had told her to go by when she had arrived. Natalia was too 'foreign' and would stand out. People would know she wasn't American. Truthfully she didn't see how Natasha was any better than her given name but her young mind had trusted him. She believed that he knew better than her. The biggest mistake she had ever made. She had been too young and foolish to understand. Never trust a child to make and adults decision.

"Natasha." The Deputy said slowly. Almost playing with the name. "It suits you well."

Her eyes shot up to meet his confused. It suited her? What did that mean? It was a name. Not a shirt or a hat. It wasn't even her real name at that. Just something to hide behind.

"In Arabic the name means beautiful." He said before closing his mouth around another piece of meat.

Natasha felt the blush creep across her face, she turned away from him trying to hide it. How did a small town Deputy know Arabic? What was it with this man? Most small town Deputy's didn't care about anything other than a paycheck at the end of the day. He was so different. He cared so much about the people, he tried to save them, and now on top of all of that he knew Arabic?

"And you? What is your name Deputy? What is it that your so called friends call you? What about those who shoot you, what do they call you?" She raised an eyebrow towards him as she mentioned the actions his 'friend' had taken earlier that morning.

He shook his head and shrugged "James technically. But my friends call me Bucky. Adam calls me Deputy. After today though? He will be lucky to call me anything."

"Bucky?" She asked looking at him confused. The two names didn't seem to work together in a way that Bucky could be a nick name for James. "That's not exactly a common nick name for James. I don't see the connection between them? Where does Bucky come from?"

"My middle name is Buchanan..." he muttered, he rolled his eyes embarrassed as he did so.

"James Buchanan? You mean like the President of the United States?" Natasha let out a laugh as he nodded his head and groaned.

"I would love to say it's because I'm related to him, or that our parents were really good friends and thought it would be a fun joke, or something along those lines but really it's just an unlucky coincidence. I've always been Bucky as long as I can remember so it hasn't bothered me much, most people don't know or don't ask what my first name is. But there's the occasional time, like now, where it seems to come up for one reason or another. And then I am get to relive this conversation over again."

"I prefer James. I think it, what was it you said?" She paused trying to remember how he had phrased it "Ah yes, suits you better. Bucky is a child's name. You clearly are no child." She said as she began cleaning up dinner. She piled her silverware on the empty plate and grabbed her water cup to bring it to the sink. She had meant the words she said, James was certainly not a child. He was more of a man than most men she had interacted with. Not just in his stature and body, but in his attitude and actions. He didn't act in favor of himself but in the favor of those he cared for. Most children wouldn't do that.

Bucky laughed and shook his head as he followed suit and began to pile up his own dishes. "I think the only person to ever call me James was my Ma when she was mad at me. Maybe my sister too, but even that would have been a rare occasion. Pop ca..." He trailed off and she could see the distance in his eyes before he spoke again. "Not even Steve calls me James."

He spoke of his family in a past tense, not that they still called him James but that they had. It made her wonder if he had suffered the loss of his mother and sister or if he had just cut ties to his family for one reason or another. He had mentioned living in Brooklyn, perhaps they were still there and he just didn't have the funds to visit them. Seeing how he seemed to hate silence and was willing to fill it easily she doubted it would be hard to get answers about it if she really wanted to know.

The Deputy groaned as he tried to push himself off the wall. Natasha could see pain shoot across his face, he tried to hide but did not do a very good job. His skin was still quite pale, and his bandages were already beginning to soak through again. If he had managed to push himself to a standing position he most likely would have passed out only seconds later. She was amazed he hadn't said anything about it yet. She had been expecting him to complain and blame her immediately once he woke, yet he seemed to hardly notice it. The only time she saw him take notice was moments like this, when it hindered what he was attempting to do. And even then it wasn't something he lingered on. He just pushed through it. She admired that about him. She had met very few people who would act like that. They would immediately blame her, and rightly so. Then again looking back on his past reactions this morning she probably should have expected that.

"I told you, you need to rest. I will clean up dinner. You just stay down please." She tried to keep her voice calm but it came out sharp with frustration. He was so determined to help, it was going to kill her trying to keep him down long enough to recover. "We need to clean your wound and rebandage it first. I am worried about an infection taking place. I tried to clean it earlier but I think a second cleaning would be good for it, just incase."

The Deputy looked down at his shoulder, the once cream bandage was now light pink with blood, he nodded in agreement. Natasha grabbed another shirt and began ripping it to use it for another set of bandages. Glancing across the room she saw a the dark brown shirt she had worn into town the night before. It looked a bit small for him but he would have to make do, or go shirtless. An uncomfortable situation for them both. When he had been sleeping it hadn't been hard to ignored his toned chest and arms, but dinner had been hard. She had found it easier to keep her eyes down through out the meal. It would be rather hard to keep her eyes down for days with him sitting around shirtless. Sitting beside him she began to unwrap the now blood stained bandages. Placing them in a bowl to wash once she finished with the new bandages. She pointed towards the vodka bottle that still sat next to James' feet and began unraveling the new bandages.

"Try not to scream please."

He looked at her raising an eyebrow as if he was offended by the request. Using his right arm he grabbed the small bottle and passed it to her. She took it and poured a small amount on a rag. He was going through so much of the precious liquid. Perhaps she would have to find a different treat to celebrate with when she was finally free. Not that anything would compare to a gift from her father but she would make it work. She always did.

Before James could say anything else she pressed the rag against his wound. Immediately the look on his face went from offended to pain. He clenched his good fist, gripping the blanket beneath him, and groaned. The action caused the muscles in his arm to tense. He leaned his head back, hitting it against the wall behind him - causing another groan to escape his lips. His eyes were shut tightly and his teeth bit down on his lower lip to try and keep himself quite. Natasha kept her eyes focused on the task of cleaning the wound and rebandaging it.

She worked quickly to make sure the wound was still clean before dropping the dirty rag into the bowl along with the bloodied bandages and reaching for a new set. When she had finished wrapping his shoulder back up she handed him the shirt. His deep blue eyes met hers with confusion as he held up the fabric and examined it.

"Do you carry a men's shirt around with you often?"

She nodded. "It comes in handy more often than one might think. It's a lot easier to hide in an oversized shirt and jacket than most people would believe. Toss on a hat to hide the hair and no one bothers to look close enough to realize I'm not a man. With hair like mine it is hard to blend in a crowd, so I had to find other ways to make it work. Besides, people open up to men more than they do women. They tell me more information as a man than I could ever hope to get as a woman."

Recognition dawned on his face as he looked her up and down again and chuckled while shaking his head, as if he felt foolish for not making the connection earlier. "You were the man I directed to stay at Martha's last night weren't you?"

"Yes, that was me. Thank you for the suggestion. The food was quite amazing, and it was nice to have a warm bath for once, I don't get those very often."

Using his right arm he pulled the shirt on over his left and grunted softly as the tugging moved the limp limb. After getting it over both arms he attempted to button the shirt across his chest, but with one hand he couldn't keep the fabric stable enough to push the wooden buttons through the holes. He looked back at her with a look of defeat on his face.

"I can't button it."

Taken aback she shook her head and bit her lip. Of course he couldn't button it. He had one good arm. Wrapping his wound was one thing but buttoning his shirt felt so different. Like an invasion of his privacy. But it was help him button it or deal with him sitting around shirtless again. And she had already decided how she felt about that prospect.

Silently she nodded and moved closer to help button the shirt.

Chapter Text

Bucky felt her small hands tug at the fabric, pulling it tight against his chest as she pushed the buttons through each hole. It was a bit awkward having her so close to him. He doubted she felt the same, after all she had cleaned and dressed his wound twice already. Once while he was unconscious. He could only imagine how hard that would have been to complete. Not only was he limp and unable to help, but she likely would have been worried about hurting him with every movement.

Buttoning a shirt would be much easier and most likely faster for her to complete. But in his world men and women only got this close if they meant something special to each other. All she meant to him was a way to get his shirt buttoned. But in the closeness he couldn't help himself, his eyes roamed her face. Glancing at her soft pink lips, and up to her emerald green eyes. He had to tear his eyes away from her, she had a beauty about her he had not seen in another woman before. But he couldn't indulge in it, she was his captor. Not a marriage prospect, he would have to continually remind himself of that fact. Any other circumstances and Steve would have been teasing him for not asking her out for dinner and a dance.

The shirt was a bit tighter around his chest and shoulders than what he was used to but he couldn't really complain. It was better than the bloody mess he had been wearing this morning, and much better than sitting around half naked. Especially in the company of a woman. Her fingers worked quickly to finish the task. Once she reached the last button they lingered on it just a moment longer than they had on the rest of the buttons before she pulled away completely.

He looked down at his left arm laying limp beside him and tried again to move a finger, even just a bit. Like his previous attempts he was greeted with nothing. Defeated by the action he shook his head leaned back against the wood wall behind him. Getting shot and kidnapped had not been how he or Steve had imagined this going, not even close. Let alone getting shot by a friend and not the Widow.

At least the town still had their money and the Widow wasn't within their borders anymore. He would do what he could to keep it that way for as long as possible. Even if it meant staying with her. While he didn't have the strength to get away now, he was sure in a few days after rest he could gain enough strength to get away, and possibly over take her. But only if he knew the town would be safe. Steve and Peggy's wedding was planned for next week... Likely he would miss the event. He prayed they wouldn't postpone because of him. Steve deserved this bit of happiness. He had waited so long for it. It would make Bucky sick knowing the waited for him. The day was supposed to be about them, not him.

"You never answered my question why."

She kept her eyes down, she had done that almost the entire time he had been here. As if she was afraid to look him in the eyes. He didn't understand it, in his mind the roles should have been reversed. He should have been the one refusing to meet her eyes. Natasha gathered up the old bandages as well as the other items needed to clean and bandage his wounds and brought them to the sink across the room.

"Why what?"

The accent gave her an edge, and made her seem so foreign. It reminded him a bit of Brooklyn. It wasn't as noticeable as it had been during his first interactions with her, she seemed to be covering it up. He wondered if it was intentional. If she used the accent at the bank as a way to seem stronger, more in charge. Now she sounded like she was trying to sound like everyone else in the south, but it wasn't quite right. Not that it was bad to sound like everyone else, and he understood why she'd want t. But he had to admit that the accent fit her so well. It was nice to hear something different from the lazy southern drawl most people, especially when she was trying to blend in with the rest of the crowd. He had adapted around here after a few months, of course she would have adapted as well.

"Why you let me live, you've killed every other man you used within hours of the robbery. you discarded their bodies as if they meant nothing to you. You used them for escape, and that was the end. After that they held no purpose for you. You moved on, forgot about them. Yet for some reason you decided let me live. I even fell off your horse, I was near death already. You could have left me in the desert and never given me a second thought. I would have been one less problem to deal with and you wouldn't have even been the one to kill me. Given a day or two and my body wouldn't even be there. Less blood on your hands. But instead you took me in, you cared for me, cleaned my wound, bandaged me up and made me dinner. I don't get it, and I need to know why. I deserve to know why."

She shoved the vodka bottle and the few clean rags into a dark leather bag and shook her head. Her bright hair fell loose from her braid in some places, leaving it to curl around her ears and chin. "As I recall I have already answered your question James. The answer has not changed."

He could see how the question confused her almost as much as it did himself. Odd. She had been forced to make decision to take him with her rather quickly so he understood that, but she surely could have left him in the desert. Like he had told her, he had fallen off the horse, she could have left him there to die. Even if he wasn't near death she could have left him to stumble about trying to find his way back, he likely would have died trying. If he didn't die trying to get home the predators would have gotten him. It would have fit her normal course of actions much more than this did. Instead she had taken him with her to her hide out. And after he had fallen off, she had dragged him who knew how far to get him into this place. She had cared for him, cleaned his wound, shared her food and details about herself with him. None of it made any sense. She was supposed to be a brutal and cold blooded killer. Yet here she was standing in front of him, caring and kind to him. What had made her act so different towards him?

He knew it would not matter how much he pressed her for an answer, if she didn't know the answer to his question the only thing she would give him was 'I don't know.' It wasn't worth his time or energy to keep pressing on the matter. And it definitely wasn't worth risking a reaction from her. Resigning himself to change the subject he asked "How can I help?"

"Help with what?" She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow as she grabbed his plate from the bed. She stood careful to keep the silverware on the plate as she made her way to the wash basin.

"Help you clean things up. It's my mess after all." He nodded to the bloody bandages and his mess of a shirt that still lay on the ground in front of him. What a shame. That had been one of his favorite shirts, one of the last ones he had brought with him from Brooklyn. He wouldn't be able to replace it easily.

"You will help me best if you just rest. You lost far too much blood and you will need some time to recover from it. It's not worth you getting up now to give me limited help. Besides I just rebandaged your shoulder and I am not in the mood to do that again should you do something stupid to make it start bleeding out again." Her words were harsh and came out frustrated. Bucky hadn't been expecting that. He couldn't say he blamed her. But as he had thought before, saving him was her choice. She had brought it on her self. She didn't need to save him. But in that same regard he didn't need to help her did he? It was her mess and she was pulling him further and further into.

The red head continued putting items away either in bags or in the cupboards on the walls of the small kitchen located across the room. She left the bandages she had just finished cleaning to dry across the wooden table and set of chairs in the corner. Quietly she said "It's not really your fault. He was trying to shoot me, not you. He just missed and now you have to pay the price for his mistake. I am sorry, it wasn't what I expected to happen. If it was up to me I wouldn't have even been there in the first place."

He starred at her utterly confused by her words and the change of tone in her voice. She was apologizing to him because Adam missed her? She sounded so genuine in her apology. Never in his wildest dreams could he have expected the Black Widow to apologize to him because he had been shot due to her actions. She was filled with surprises. Maybe that was why no one had been able to succeed in catching her. No one ever truly knew what to expect out of her.

"He wasn't supposed to shoot. We told him not to fire the gun... It was supposed to be a scare tactic, something to try and frighten you off, even if things went south he was not supposed to fire. We shouldn't have even given him a loaded gun but he promised he would be fine, that he knew what to do. Obviously he didn't. He just didn't listen to us. He never does. So it was my fault for trusting him and giving him a loaded weapon that he didn't know how to use. "

He tried offering the words as a comfort to her but she seemed to just ignore him and continue on with her work. Bucky closed his eyes leaning his head back against the wall. Her instructions to rest were so enticing at the moment. His body ached from the bullet and the fall from the horse, and likely the night before sleeping on that stupid seat at the bank. That had been a pretty terrible idea. He didn't blame her for the bullet, and as much as he wanted to he couldn't blame Adam. He had been the one to give him the gun. He had been the one to leave it loaded even though he knew Adam had no experience with the weapon before. In the end the only one who could be faulted for the events of the wound was himself.

Others would try and blame the Widow for being there and there was some truth to that. But deep down he knew what he had done had been stupid. Had they really expected the Black Widow to be scared off by a teller with a gun? She had been robbing banks for years surely they weren't the first ones to try to scare her that way. Hopefully they were the only ones that had it end this way.

Chapter Text

"Steve you will find him, I know you will. But you desperately need to take a break. You are exhausted. Have you even slept since the robbery?" the English accent came out softly as the Sheriff felt her hands rubbing his shoulders. He knew she was right. He could feel the exhaustion in his body, but the idea of sleeping now just felt so wrong.

"Please my dear. I know how worried you are but you will be of no help to him if you don't rest. You have to take care of yourself first."

"Peg.... I told him not to. Told him he had to make it, not be one her victims. I just...." He trailed off shaking his head and rubbing between his eyes.

Everything was a complete wreck. He shouldn't have given in to Bucky. Should have stood his ground. He had been worried that something like this might happen, and now he was right. In the worst way possible. It wasn't the kind of right that one would go around bragging about. Even if Bucky made it back he wouldn't want to rub this in his face.

They should have just let her take the money. Get it over with and move on. Now his best friend was missing, dead or stuck with that terrible woman. Neither one was a good option in his mind. To add to it they had no idea where to even begin looking for him if he was still alive. The trail of blood in the bank had given Steve hope. But it wasn't long before he discovered that following the blood through the desert sands would be next to impossible. The winds had blown and covered the droplets and horse prints with new sand making the trail disappear right in front of him.

The last two days had been torture, hours of reading over local papers trying to find any new information. Anything that they could have missed while trying to prepare. Tracking what little they could only to end up in the middle of the desert. Talking to everyone at the bank, trying to understand every little thing that happened. Everyone claimed that the Widow had shot Bucky and then taken him hostage so she could get away. But the look on Adam's face made Steve doubt that the bullet had truly come from the Widow's gun. None of it made any sense.

Why would she take a wounded prisoner? He would add weight to the horse, take a toll on supplies, and be an overall burden. And those same reasons made Steve fear that she hadn't taken him as a prisoner. That instead his friends body lay some where in the desert sands, likely not much more than bones by now. Coyotes and wolves having feasted on him while he lay either dead or dying with no way to defund himself.

On top of the reading and gathering of accounts there had been no sleep. There wasn't time for it. If there was any chance his friend was alive he couldn't waste precious moments sleeping. He shouldn't have let Bucky do it. Should have ordered him to stay home. Now he was just hoping he could find anything to lead him to Bucky. It was all his fault. How could he have been so stupid?

"We don't know he's a victim yet. The other men she left either in the bank or near by. We haven't found his body yet. There is still a chance." She circled him to face him and lifted his chin to meet his eyes. "Bucky can handle himself. He is a tough one, you need to remember that. After all you both grew up on the streets of Brooklyn. She's not going to be able to break him that easily. We have both seen how determined he can be. If he wants to make it out alive he will. You need to have faith my love."

Peggy dropped her hand to grab his and offered a gentle smile, she kept her composer calm. Steve was grateful for that. He needed someone who could keep their head clear, and he knew he couldn't. Even if he had been sleeping, the whole mess was enough to scramble anyone's mind. She had been by his side from the moment he returned home from the first search effort. "Go home. I will talk to Clint. He should be back any minute. If he has any news I promise I will tell you immediately. Just please get some sleep. You desperately need it."

"It doesn't make sense Peggy. Why wouldn't she just leave his body? She's done it every single time. She has never taken one alive. She has to have a plan for him, and honestly I'm more terrified of that than I am of finding him dead."

The last line came out quite. Something he hadn't even realized he felt until now. How could he wish his best friend dead over alive? It was her. That Widow. Taking only what would benefit her, she couldn't be trusted. And Steve just couldn't figure out how Bucky could possible benefit her, and he didn't want to. He just wanted to get him back.

Peggy wrapped her arms around him and gave his cheek a soft kiss.

"Rest my love. I promise Barton and I will continue to work, we will take over for you. And we will do our absolute best. You have my word. But you need to rest. At least a couple hours. You are going to pass out from exhaustion if you don't and we both know I can't carry you to your bed. You'd be sleeping on top of your desk, and that does not look comfortable to me." Her eyes met his and she cupped his cheek in her hand. He could see the worry in her eyes. The stress of trying to take care of him and help him find his friend.

Giving in Steve grabbed his hat off the desk and placed it on his head. "Three hours. Then you come get me, no matter what."

"Three hours." She nodded in agreement and walked with him to the door. "And if there is any news I will come immediately. We are going to find him."

"What about next week Peg?" Steve stopped remembering the date. Their wedding. Bucky was supposed to be there with them to celebrate the occasion. Now Steve worried he wouldn't be there at all.

"If he isn't back we delay. For as long as it takes. He should be there." She offered him a gentle smile and pace her hand on his back to push him out the door. "We will have forever Steve. For now this is more important."

"And you won't resent me if we have to?" Steve asked the question reaching for her hand to squeeze it.

"I could never resent you my love."

Steve reached down and brushed a quick kiss on her lips. "I love you Peggy."

"I know" she nodded and gave his hand a squeeze before nodding to the door. "Go."

Chapter Text

The deputy asked far too many questions. He wanted to know too much about her, she didn't like it. There were only so many partial truths she could give to keep him happy before he realized that he wasn't getting everything he wanted. He would push and push until he got what he wanted. That much was evident. He was a curious man and curious men always caused trouble.

She glanced at him asleep near the wall, the old woven blanket lay on top of him but he had kicked most of it off during his restless night. She had watched him while he slept for sometime, or while he tried to sleep. He had tossed and turned during the night, no doubt due to the pain. He would roll one way and nudge his arm a bit which would be followed by a groan and another roll trying to get off of it.

She had grown accustomed to being alone and the silence that always accompanied it. So the noises he made had made sleeping difficult. Eventually she had rolled over and held her coat over her ear to try and ignore it. But part of her wanted to stay alert and make sure everything he was okay. She could remember her mother telling her stories of how she would hardly sleep whenever the girls got sick because she was worried about them. Natasha wondered if this was a similar feeling to that. She wasn't sure how she felt about sharing her little hide out, or so much information about herself. The last time she had shared information about her self she had ended up in this mess in the first place. But it was too late now, he had already seen her hide out, had already gained information about her. Information she had willingly given him.

It had been almost two days since the encounter at the bank. Thankfully he had slept through most of it, his body desperately needed time to recover. While it wasn't great sleep he was still so much easier to deal with when he was asleep. No questions and she didn't have to insist that he stay down and not try to help her clean up or prepare meals. He really only woke to eat and then tried his best to help clean up after. Almost the entire time he would ask questions about her or her work. She spent the time trying to dodge his questions or give him just enough information to satisfy him for a moment. She had to applaud him on his attempts. He was determined and nothing she did or said seemed to curve that determination. She was sure the very same determination had helped to make him a great deputy.

His wound wasn't quite as bad as she had initially believed it to be, the bullet hole was small and the bleeding had been minimal as long as she kept the bandages tight so the pressure was tight against it. But he still needed real help. The bullet was still lodged inside, and he would need stitches in order to truly start healing. James hadn't said anything about it since trying to climb on to her horse but based on the fact that he didn't ever move his arm or hand she assumed he still had no feeling in either. He seemed to almost ignore it entirely whenever she was around him. Aside from the buttoning of his shirt he hadn't asked for any help. He managed to eat on his own, and was able to stand up and take care of minimal tasks without help. He had managed an attempt at a sponge bath the night before. For that she was grateful. She wasn't willing to help him bathe himself. Bandaging and buttoning were one thing but that was an entirely different level of invading his personal space.

On occasion she would catch him concentrating on his arm and fingers, as if he was attempting to move his fingers. He never did it when he knew she was watching him. He was so careful about it, waiting for moments when she was washing dishes or out to feed Dante. She couldn't blame him. He likely didn't want to admit it to himself, let alone admit it to a stranger that something was wrong with him. Men always seemed to be so stubborn that way, even when it was blatantly obvious that something was wrong.

Sighing she walked outside towards the the stable to saddled up Dante and refresh his food for him to . When she finished with the task she went back inside to check on the Deputy and grab everything they would need for the trip. Hoping it would be a shirt trip she elected to leave most of her belongings behind. Sticking to her hat, gun, saddle bag and the money she had gathered over the last three weeks. She wasn't willing to let that out of her site. Not with her next meeting so close.

She gently nudged his foot trying to wake him from his slumber. She didn't want to head out, especially when she was certain the James' Sheriff friend would be searching for him. And that he most likely had others searching as well. And on top of that she wasn't sure how well James would fare during travel. But she knew with out proper attention he could loose his arm entirely, or worse, his life. She had done all she could to keep infection away, but until he got the bullet out and stitches placed it would be a constant fight. A bandage could only do so much. She was just lucky the wound had been small and seemed to stop bleeding. All she could do was pray Stark was home and that he wouldn't ask too many questions. Or at least less questions than James. Crouching down she shook him again and he moved groaning as he stretched his good arm, wincing slightly from the pain in his left shoulder as he did so.

"Get up. We need to get going." She tossed him the jacket she used to disguise herself to help him cover his arm and grabbed her own jacket and bag. She tied up her hair and tucked it underneath a dark hat. With out pins to hold it in place some of the thick locks fell loose and curled around her face. She ignored them as she grabbed her bag off the ground and threw it over her shoulder. She turned and stood over the deputy waiting on him to get up.

"Where are we going?" He mumbled still waking up, he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes as he sat up. The movement had become easier for him as he had gotten used to the lack of feeling. The first few times he had tried to use his left arm to help, but now he knew exactly what he needed to do to get up. His dark hair was a mess around his face and he ran his hand through it trying to calm it down a bit. Even exhausted he had a devilishly handsome look about him. With his hair a mess and two day growth across his chin, he looked like he belonged in her world, not as a Deputy of a small town. How in the world had he not been married already? With his determination he could have had just about any girl he wanted.

Where had that thought come from? Why did she care if he was married or not? He was a Deputy, his goal would be to arrest her, not court her. She shouldn't be concerned about his personal life and what he did or did not do with it. Perhaps he didn't want to be married or had been at one time. Or maybe there just weren't great options in Bandera. There had been that blonde at the inn and the bank, Gwendolen? She shook her head ready to hit herself in the face to pull her out of this delusion. No matter the reasoning behind the choice it wasn't her problem.

"To a friend of mine. I think he might be able to help with your arm."

"Who?" He pulled the jacket over his good arm and left it laying on the shoulder of his left.

"Has anyone ever told you that you ask too many questions?" Finally letting the thought out in a groan. Surely he would have to run out of them eventually right? "Dante is saddled up outside. The faster we get going the longer he will have to help. And the less likely some one will see us traveling."

"You named your horse Dante? That seems like the most common horse name. Ever." He stated laughing. "And no, no one has ever told me that. If they did I probably wouldn't listen."

Natasha rolled her eyes as she heard his words. There he went again, asking yet another question and throwing in his humor and sarcasm. Did the questions ever stop popping into his mind, or was he just an endless void of questions? And what was it with the sarcasm? Could he not be serious for more than five minutes? Was that too much ask of him? At least he was willing to admit that he wouldn't listen even when the action was brought up to him. "I didn't name him. His owners did."

"His owners?" James asked cocking an eyebrow at her as he followed her out the door.

"A necessary action." She muttered. "Can't get away very fast on foot. A horse runs much faster. Get on. Besides they don't miss him. They hardly took care of him."

She nodded to Dante and waited for him to swing himself up. With one good arm it took him a considerable amount of time but he managed. She was grateful she didn't have to help him up and prayed she wouldn't have to drag him across the desert this time around. He was looking much better, the color in his skin had returned and she doubted he would pass out. But if he did she might just leave him there this time. She took the horses reins and swung on herself and taking off at a steady pace.

"How long till we get there?"

"An hour or so. Possibly more. Dante isn't used to carrying two and I am not sure how it will effect him." Figuring telling him wouldn't change much. While Stark had money and wasn't afraid to show it, he also had a small home west of her hideout. He spent most his weekends and evenings there working on some new invention or toy. He enjoyed tinkering. And while he wasn't a doctor by trade his medical knowledge was far superior to her own. Hopefully it was enough to help James out. If it wasn't she wasn't sure what else she could do for him. Maybe she could find a doctor in a town that she hadn't hit yet. Not that there were many within a day's travel. She would have to cross that bridge when or if they came to it. For now Howard would be able to do it. He would have the answers they needed.

Maybe Howard could help bring back some feeling for him. Even if it was just enough to make most tasks manageable on his own. She could tell he was trying to ignore it. But every now and then she'd catch him staring at it, it almost looked like he was begging it to move. She couldn't imagine that feeling. Or rather the loss of it. To go from feeling it everyday to suddenly have nothing. It would change life completely. Even the small tasks one would do would suddenly be different than what they were used to. It was all her fault. She never should have shown up in that stupid town. Her plan had been to skip it until she had heard rumors from others it was a growing place. If she had skipped it James would be home now, probably preparing to take some cute girl out for the night. Or sitting at the saloon with Steve. Had she skipped his town. Gone to the next one. He would have been fine.

Was that why she had decided to save him? Because she blamed herself? She had killed others, wounded even more. But he was different. Something about him made her long to know more about him and his past. She couldn't explain it but she needed to know more.

Chapter Text

The ride was smooth going and the weather was not quite as warm as it had been the last few days. Seemed like Texas was finally hitting fall season. Finally hit fall in November, it really was nothing like New York. New York's fall started as early as August some years. And Winter was always quick to follow. The coat wasn't completely unbearable today, thank goodness. Bucky couldn't tell the time for sure but he would guess it was nearing noon based on the suns position. Natasha kept her eyes straight ahead and stayed quiet through the trip. Not that that was anything unusual. She was always quite unless he pushed hard for answers. She rarely spoke without purpose. She was living on her own, it probably was normal for her to be in silence for most of the day.

On the horizon a large ranch could be seen and Bucky had to assume it was where they were heading. There really wasn't much that could be seen on the horizon besides the ranch. He was grateful they were almost there. Sitting on a bouncing horse for an hour wasn't a super comfortable way to relax. He had spent most of the trip trying to hold still so he wouldn't bounce around too much and cause unnecessary movement. But this had left him feeling rather stiff and his body was beginning to regret it, and he couldn't say for certain it had helped. He still felt some pain in his shoulder with each bump.

She had mentioned getting him help for his arm. While his arm didn't hurt, unless you counted the pain in his shoulder, the lack of movement and feeling was almost worse. Like something was missing. Occasionally he'd move his shoulder trying to get his arm to react. His shoulder would respond with a sharp pain and his arm with nothing. It was unnerving to know that the same thoughts directed to his right arm would work but not the left. Odd how in a single moment things could change so quickly. A single action could change so much. He didn't talk about it though. He had enough to deal with trying to figure out why Natasha had kept him alive, figuring out if there was a way out, if he wanted to take that way out. Why she still wanted him around, and now why she was getting him help. The last thing he needed to do was bring up the circumstances that had brought them together.

It was obvious that the Black Widow preferred the silence, but James couldn't say he felt the same. The silence led to his thoughts wandering most often towards home and what was happening there. What was Steve up to now? Was he too busy with the wedding to care or was he pushing the wedding off? Did Adam get a smacking for what he did? Doubtful, most likely the man made up some story in which he wouldn't be the one to shoot James. Knowing him he probably got everyone in the bank to go along with the new version too. He was a good man but he couldn't ever take responsibility when he did something wrong. Was some one taking care of his horse? Yukon needed a lot of attention or he started getting pretty angry and likely would find a way to break out of the stable again if he didn't get it. Which meant if James ever made it home he would either have to find a way to track Yukon down or save up to get a new horse. If he was even able to ride on his own anymore. When his mind wasn't focusing on questions and thoughts of home it wandered towards what the future held for him now. He hated the silence. He hated the wandering thoughts. Thoughts he had no control over or answers to. Talking to her kept his mind off of all of it, the past the future, everything. It put the focus on her. Gave him more insight on who she was and why she acted the way she did.

"Who are we going to see?"

"You'll know soon enough."

In the beginning her accent had seemed to come and go, strongly present during times of stress or frustration, less so when she was relaxed. But as they had spent more time together it stayed consistent. While it was not as noticeable as it was the first day, he had to admit he kind of liked the sound of it. Almost soothing. Her words no longer sounded sharp and angry, but sad and lonely.

There were some moments when he had been resting there he thought he had heard her singing to herself, he didn't recognize the words that she sang but the melodies were simple and soft. Occasionally he could here shuffling of feet, almost as if she had been dancing to the words she sang. The songs and dancing only brought more questions to his mind about her and her past. How had she gotten here from Russia? If she had really come from New Jersey as she had told him, why not stay there? Surely the opportunities for a young woman were far greater there than out here. Especially one with such beauty about her. There were so many pieces to this Natasha and he wanted to put them all together. Figure out who she was and how she ended up here.

Lost in his own thoughts he didn't notice as Natasha slowed the horse and swung herself off to tie him up to a wooden fence. She gave Dante an apple to munch on and rubbed the side of his head before she dropped her hat and coat on to the saddle in front of Bucky. Brushing out her curls with her hands Natasha lifted her head to speak to James. Her green eyes sparkled in the sun and the curls she had just finished brushing framed her face. He scanned her face searching for a hint of emotion, a hint of what to expect.

"Wait here. I will let you know when to come. I don't want him getting the wrong idea before I can explain things to him. He tends to jump to dramatic conclusions and that is the last thing I need right now."

She turned away and moved towards the door of the large barn sitting a few feet back from the house. Both seemed to be newer buildings. Likely completed in the last few years. A picket fence surrounded the house to give the illusion that it was a completely separate area from the barn and the fields behind it.

Natasha had forgone the corset over the past two days, but she stuck to the pants with the loose fitting shirt tucked in. Still emphasizing her small waist by doing so. He couldn't help but watch her walk towards the buildings. she was filled with confidence and it looked so good on her. Sure the pants and corset had too. But they were nothing to the confidence she had in herself. He didn't know many woman who had the confidence to walk around in pants. Peggy did, that he was sure of. He hadn't ever seen her do it but had no doubts that she would be willing to and have no concerns about who might see or judge her for doing so. But other than her he really couldn't think of any others. Gwendolen never would. Between her mother, Martha, telling her it wasn't proper for a young lady to dress like that and her own embarrassment she would likely die before wearing a pair. The confidence in Natasha was so intriguing. Making him want to know even more about her. Wanting to understand where she had found the confidence.

Natasha knocked on the door of the barn rapidly and muttered something but she was too far away for Bucky to hear it. Seconds later the door opened to reveal a dark hair middle aged man. His face and clothes were smeared with grease but he gave a big smile and opened the door further. He stepped out of the building to greet Natasha and opened his arms to pull her into a hug. Her reaction was stiff as she patted his back and gave an awkward smile.

"Natalia, now this quite the surprise! I wasn't expecting company today. What can I do you for this time? Does Maria know you're here? She has been begging me for what she calls "girl time." Honestly I think it's just her way to say she needs a break from Tony." The man spoke loudly keeping the smile on his face as he wiped his hands on an already dirty rag before proceeding to shove it into the pocket of an equally dirty apron.

Natalia? She had told him that her name was Natasha. Why would she lie about that? Better yet, why would he be bothered about it? It was just a name, until she had told him Natasha he had been content calling her Bertha or Birdie, or whatever name he could come up with to drive her crazy. He hadn't really cared if she gave him her real name or not. He just didn't want to call her the Black Widow every time he talked with her. But something about her giving him her name had made him feel like she trusted him. But obviously she didn't.

The two spoke in front of the barn for a minute or so before the man looked up at James and smiled. He had a calm demeaner around him, someone you would feel instantly comfortable with and could trust easily. That would make sense as to why Natasha had taken him here instead of a town doctor. Even in a small town people would talk, but here not only did you feel like you could trust the man but you knew there was no one around to talk to.

Although James doubted that this man and his wife ran the ranch on their own, there were buildings further back likely for farm and stable hands. But something about this man made it obvious that he wouldn't talk about something unless given permission to.

Chapter Text

*Translated from Russian*

Natasha took a step back from the middle aged man and turned towards James. He was standing near Dante resting his good arm over the horses saddle. Every now and then he would glance over at Natasha. Watching the door and her, it almost looked as if he was worried about her and wanted to protect her. She wasn't sure why he would have that desire and she was sure she must be misreading his actions. She dropped her voice to a low whisper so that only Howard would hear what she was about to say. She didn't want James over hearing the conversation. It would just be easier if her didn't. He already asked too many questions. If he over heard she would have even more to explain to him. "I have a small problem that I need some help with."

"Nat... that's a person. You understand the difference between a person and a problem right?" The man raised and eyebrow looking between Natasha and the man standing near the horse. His greasy hands dropped the even greasier apron he wore and pointed at the man shaking his head in disbelief.

"Sometimes they can be one in the same Howard." She dropped her eyes biting down on her lips. Howard was always willing to accept her and her problems with minimal questions. It had been one of the reasons she had grown to trust him so much. It was easier to work with someone who didn't want to know everything about her and her complicated past. And she knew he wouldn't talk to anyone about them with out her permission, even his wife. He worked in an industry shrouded in secrets and if you wanted to get to the top you needed to protect your work as well as possible. She had come to him many times bloody and bruised and he took her in, patched her up and sent her off again with no questions and better than that? No rumors.

"What exactly do you want me to do? You know my boundaries Natalia. I won't cross them, even for an old friend."

"And I am not asking you to, you know I would never ask you to. I just, I screwed up..." she muttered. Screwed up wasn't even scratching the surface of what had happened. "I botched the last job. He got caught in the crossfire. The bullet is still in there somewhere but there hasn't been any infection. I've been keeping it clean as best I can, keeping the bandages tight against to minimize blood loss. But we really need to get the bullet out. I can't do it myself. I don't have the skills needed to do it safely. If I tried I am worried I would make it much worse. I have already caused him enough trauma and trouble, I don't want to make any more for him. I thought maybe you could help? At least get the bullet out and stitch it up?"

"Nat..." Howard sighed. "You know I'm not a doctor? I know some stuff, but my focuses have always been on machines. Not humans. Humans are so different. So unpredictable. I almost always know what to expect from a machine. Humans though? You never know how they are going to react. I mean a scrape or two is one thing, but a bullet hole? That is an entirely different situation. There are so many more factors that go into that. Nat... Why not take him to Dr. Richards? He's much better suited for this kind of stuff. I'm not sure how much I can actually do to help. I can help pay for it if that is the problem, I just think he would be much a better option than me."

She gave him a side eye and shook her head. She understood why Howard would want to push her to see Richards instead, Richards was a fantastic doctor. Known all over the area for the work he did. He had a higher success rate than most of the other doctors in the area, he worked mostly with new technologies and new ideas to try and bring better and faster healing to his patients. This also meant he had longer waiting lists, and much higher prices. Even if she could afford to take James to see Richards after what she had done to the town she doubted he would be willing to help her out.

"You know exactly why I can't do that Stark. I robbed his town. Twice. One of those times I robbed his office. I can't just walk in asking for help. It's not likely that they would just forgive and forget because someone I bring to them needs help. Most people aren't quite as forgiving as you are. You know that."

At that comment Howard gave a chuckle and shook his head "I don't understand why you do what you do Natalia, but I sure do love the stories that come from it. Bring him in and I will see what I can do for him. But I am not going to make either of you any promises. I really don't know how much I can help. Like I said, humans are not my thing."

"Thank you Howard." Natasha said relieved as she looked over at the deputy and waved for him to come over.

"He is going to need more than just the bullet removed. He can't move it. I don't know if there is any feeling left. I don't know if there is anything that can be done, but if there is... Then you are the one I would trust to do it." She dropped the sentence as James neared them.

James offered his classic smile as he drew closer and outstretched his good hand to shake Howard's.

"Bucky Barnes."

Howard gave Natasha a side eye before wiping his hand on his shirt and reaching to shake Bucky's hand.

"Howard Stark."

"Stark? As in?" Bucky's jaw dropped and he stared at the man in front of him, he seemed to be in awe of the man. Most people didn't recognize the Stark name, while that was changing in the east out here it was rare to find some one who knew who Howard Stark was or what he did. She found it rather interesting that James did. Perhaps from his time in Brooklyn?

"That would be me." Howard smiled "I've got to warn you now Bucky, if I let you in you can't tell a soul about what you'll be seeing in here. Not even your wife or kids. I'm working on reinventing the future and I'm not about to let some one else do it before me. Especially not by using my own ideas to beat me to it." He gave a cocky grin before stepping back and leading the way into his barn.

"That won't be a problem. I don't really have any one to tell things to anyways."

Natasha waited for James to follow Howard in before making her own way in behind the two. This could go quite terribly or very well. She just had to pray it would be the latter of the two options. She wasn't sure she could take it knowing she had screwed him over not once but twice in less than three days time. Things had already gone wrong too many times. One more just wasn't something she could handle right now. She had enough on her plate with a failed robbery and her meeting with Alexei this week.

Howard Stark had revolutionized the industrial business world. Bringing in new inventions often to speed up productions and work flow. Why he had chosen to settle out here instead of New York or Boston she would never understand. He had to travel out there often enough, it seemed to her being there would be easier. The travel time had to be inconvenient, not only for the business but for his family as well. Perhaps his family was why he had chosen to live here. To try and give his son a normal life. Or keep his wife from the men in the cities. But whatever the reason was she was grateful he was here. He had been the only friend she had for a while. And she truly appreciated it. He had helped her more times than she could count with very little explanation of why she needed the help. He had offered dozens of times to help her out of her situation but she feared if she brought him into it she would put his family at great risk. That wasn't a sacrifice she was willing to make for someone who had been so kind to her and had opened his own home to her on multiple occasions.

"Nat says you took a bullet to the shoulder, that's gotta hurt. Mind me asking how that happened?"

The deputy looked towards Natasha before telling his side of the story. "Just a little misunderstanding between some residents. You know how it goes, they get drunk, some one says something stupid. Then they all start yelling, and before you know it they've all got their guns drawn and half of them don't even know how to shoot one properly when they are sober, let alone drunk. Kind of just what happens as a deputy. You get shot at, most times you walk away just fine and other times you get hit. At least this time I could shake it. Some people aren't so lucky."

He shrugged and continue following Howard through the barn. James made it seem like it was nothing. Just a drunken brawl between residents in his town that he had been asked to break up. A complete accident. As if it had absolutely nothing to do with her. She couldn't understand why he would do that. He could have thrown her to the bulls and instead he came up with something to protect her from them. He didn't know Howard or his relationship to Natasha but he chosen to protect her from the truth. He really was an odd man. One she longed to know and understand more about. But the chances of that happening were slim. He may have been protecting her now, but once he was nearing the end of his recovery he would no doubt leave and return to his old life. One that suited him much better than a life on the run with her.

"Deputy?" A deep laugh came from Howard as he shook his head "Natalia hanging with a deputy of the law? Well now you have really got my attention!"

Natasha rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath. *"I hate men.."*

Both men turned to look at her confusion evident on their faces, she shook her head motioning for them to continue on through the mess of metal, rags, and tools scattered across the floor and tables. Piles of what most would consider scarps or garbage littered the floor and shelves. Towards the back of the building the area was cleaner and neater, but it seemed it was only that way because Howard had yet to fill the space with more of his projects.

"Don't mind the mess, Maria thinks I collect to much but honestly you just never know when that broken piece of glass might be exactly what you are needing. Besides, it's nothing compared to her shoe collection. And those all look exactly the same if you ask me."

Howard always had a way of filling the silence with humor. He had done it the first time they met. He had been one of her first targets. She was young and inexperienced. All she had known was a big house must have money somewhere inside. Stupidly she hadn't even waited for them to leave. Just run in in the middle of dinner time. Maria and Tony screamed when they first saw her but Howard had remained calm. He had seen the young battered teen and taken him under his wing. He and Maria had helped her recover from the most recent injuries Alexei had caused her and made sure she had known that no matter what she was always welcome in their home.

They had tried offering their help, but she hadn't been willing to tell them anything about her circumstances. Even now she was reluctant to give them much information. She didn't give that information to any one.

Chapter Text

Bucky's eyes widen as they entered the barn, he had to admit this was absolutely fantastic. As a child he had always been fascinated by the new inventions he was constantly hearing about. He would have loved to learn to do it himself. He had always enjoyed tinkering and playing with whatever he could find around. But they didn't have the funds for good schooling, let alone books, tools, and everything else that would be needed to succeed. Besides the lack of finances, by the time the schooling would have started his mother was already suffering from her tuberculosis and he had taken over caring for Rebecca, as well as for Steve. By the time she had passed he was already working on the docks and going back to school didn't make much sense at that point. Not that his father would have been willing to cover the cost, or let him take the time off work to go. Work was the only thing his father had ever been proud when it came to Bucky and his accomplishments, and that was only because it allowed his father to slack off and not work much himself.

They walked past tables covered with tools and parts, as well as dirty rags and buckets everywhere. Papers of various sizes were pinned to walls and scattered across tables and the floor. Bucky longed to examine it all, to learn what each piece's function was, what it was made to do. How they would all work together and what they would become. But now wasn't the time for that. In the middle of the barn he could see a large metal figure covered with a greasy stained linen blanket. Messy tables stood around the figure, filled much like the rest of the ones seen in the barn. Filled with everything from tools, to papers and the occasional dirty plate or cup. Compared to everything else in the building it seemed so out of place, which made it all the more compelling to look at.

"Can I ask what that is?" Bucky pointed toward the figure.

Howard shook his head and waved his hand as if to say it didn't matter. "Too early for its time. Maybe Tony will have access the resources needed to complete it. But for now it's just a rather large paper weight. Unless you ask Maria, then it is m second wife."

"Tony? Is he your son?" Bucky racked his mind trying to recall what he had heard about the Stark family. Most of what he knew came from the men on the docks, and all they cared about was what products the boss purchased to make their lives easier. So admittedly it wasn't much. Occasionally they had loaded shipments with the Stark logo stamped across the crate but they never knew what was inside. Just that it was needed on a certain boat by a certain time.

"Sure is! He's gonna be 6 this year. Kid is brilliant. He's gonna change the world in ways I never could." The pride in Howard's voice was clear. Something Bucky wasn't used to when it came to father's talking about their sons. It was nice to see it for once. The men he had grown up around had never had that pride for any of this children. He likely could have talked about the young boy for hours had Natasha not stepped in and changed the topic of conversation.

"How long do you think this will take? I've tried to take care of it but I'm worried he's moved it too much and the damage may be permanent." She had pulled her sleeves down and wrapped her fingers around the edges of them, her teeth were biting down on her pink lips. The confidence she normally held seemed to have disappeared. The woman now was nervous and trying her best to hide it from the two men. Bucky had never seen her nervous. She always held an air of confidence about her, even when things weren't going the way she planned. It had impressed him in the bank seeing her still hold everything together despite the rather drastic changes the day had held for both of them. Even when he was berating her with questions she remained clam most of the time. So this side of her was new, and almost enjoyable. She was worried about him, she cared about him for some unknown reason.

Bucky took a deep breath as he forced himself to come to terms with the reason they were here. He had tried to ignore it, the inventions around the barn had done a fantastic job at helping him forget why he was there. He had told himself he'd be fine, that it would heal on it's own in a couple weeks. But Natasha was right. The damage was likely there for good. Suddenly it didn't matter he was surround by the things of his boyhood dreams. He was grown, these things weren't a part of his life. They never would be no matter how badly he wanted them to be. But his arm, the injury? It was and now possibly to a point it likely wouldn't be healed, at least not the way it had once been. It would forever be an impact on his life going foreword.

"I will have to examine it before I can determine that. I will also need you to tell me everything that you did to care for the wound. Bucky if I can have you lay here." He nodded at a long table and tossed a crumpled up sheet on to the head of it. Compared to the rest of the tables around them this one could be considered clean. It had some stains and scorch marks. But it was free of papers and tools.

"Sorry, I'm no doctor, so tables are about as good as it gets with me. I'd take you inside and use the guest room but Maria wouldn't be too happy about that. You'll have to take your shirt and coat off, Natalia mentioned that it was bandaged? You're lucky she knows how to bandage and take care of a wound. At least enough to keep away infections. Nat, if you can, please help him take the bandages off. I think he might be more comfortable with you doing than me getting that close to him and from what you have said I don't think he's able to do it on his own. I'll try and find you something to lay your head on."

Bucky nodded and sat on the table. So Natasha had told Howard a bit about it. He wondered how much she had said. Not that it mattered, in only a few moments Howard would find out on his own anyways. He pulled the coat off and dropped it to the ground next to his feet and preceded to use his right hand to unbutton the shirt. He tugged it off his limp arm biting harder on his lip as pain stabbed his shoulder from the movement. He dropped the shirt on top the coat and Natasha stepped foreword to help him remove the bandages.

She tucked a piece of loose hair behind her ear and kept her eyes focused on the work. Bucky watched her work again, by now the feeling of her so close was common. She had helped rebandage his shoulder a few times. They had a rhythm down, for him it mostly meant sitting as still as possible and letting her moved the fabric across his shoulder and between his chest and forearm. He wouldn't say comfortable but it wasn't necessarily uncomfortable either. She always kept her attention focused on the work in front of her. Bucky couldn't help but take in her beauty whenever she was helping him. How could he not when she was so close to him? Her delicate fingers and thick hair. The way she hummed an unknown tune while she was concentrating, or when she wasn't humming she often would bite the inside of her cheek while she worked. All of it seemed so familiar to him now.

She unwrapped the bandages from his arm, careful not to move it, cringing when she had to. When she finished she placed the bandages next to his coat and shirt and stepped back. She had done a pretty good job at cleaning the wound and taking care of it despite not being a doctor. He hadn't had any signs of infection and hadn't bled out so she clearly knew enough to get by on. Her small fingers brushed against the skin of his bicep as she finished, she pulled away immediately when she felt the skin connect. But Bucky found himself wishing she hadn't He couldn't feel the touch but he liked the idea of it. Captor or not she was incredibly captivating and She took the slightly pink bandages and bundled them up before stepping back a couple steps. She dropped the bandages on one of the tables beside a pile of dirty rags.

Howard tossed a bundled up blanket on the head of the table and moved to take Natasha's place in front of Bucky and Instructed him to lay down. "I'm not going to lie to you Bucky. This isn't going to feel good. It is probably going to hurt. If I had to guess, it's going to hurt a lot. But if you can keep the screaming to a minimum that would be great. I don't want my wife thinking I am experimenting on people back here. It took me months to convince her I wasn't killing dogs for experiments I don't know if she'd ever believe me if she heard you screaming. And that is the last thing I need right now."

Bucky appreciated the humor Howard added to his words. It made things seem a little easier to take in. Not quite so serious, it was so nice to laugh and bring in. He knew there were some out there who couldn't deal with humor during a serious situation but Bucky wasn't one of those men. Humor helped him get through things pretty much all of his life. It had often been something he turned to when times were hard, his father hated it. He had thought he was mocking him. It made it easier to hide just how bad things were. Not just from others but from himself as well. Howard would have made a great friend in a different situation.

"I brought the vodka if you need it." Natasha joked, as she held up the small bottle and smirked. It almost sounded odd hearing her joke. Not quite like Howard. The humor wasn't common with her, it felt like she was trying to be funny but not quite sure how to make it sound right. But he appreciated the attempt, and enjoyed seeing a new side of her. And if she was serious about bringing that vile liquid he would have to come up with some excuse not to drink it

Bucky cringed remembering his last experience with the dreadful drink. He was still trying to get the aftertaste out of his mouth. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to get rid of it, but he did know that it was a memory he would never forget. And one he would try to never create again. "Thanks but I think I'll pass on that. Just give me something to bite."

Howard nodded and handed him a rag. "Pretty sure this one's clean."

Bucky took the rag, placing it in his mouth, biting down on it and closed his eyes preparing himself for the pain.

Chapter Text

Natasha watched helplessly as Howard worked. He was clearly good at what he did, but what he did wasn't normally humans. Part of her wished she had gone to Doctor Richards, begging and pleading for his help if need be. But she knew no amount of beginning and pleading could make some one forget being held at gun point. And she didn't have the money that would. Howard would have to do.

She could see how uncomfortable James was. His right hand was clenched tightly, his eyes shut tight. She could see his heals digging into the wood beneath them, and the constant effort to force his upper body to remain still and not pull away from the paint. The rag stuffed in his mouth only muffled so much. He he let out several cries each time Howard moved the medical instruments, his legs jerking slightly. He was trying to hold it all in, that was obvious, but even the strongest of men could only hide so much pain. Natasha gripped her arms tighter each time as she watched. She had let this happen to him. Had let some one take a bullet for her. A bullet meant for her.

She couldn't stand to watch the operation any more, watching James struggle against the pain was too much. He looked so helpless and she hated that. He had been so strong to this point, even though he had lost a lot of blood and no doubt was in pain since the day she first brought him to he place. Now he was fighting back cries of pain just to fix her mistakes. Taking a step back from the area she turned away and walked towards the front of the room. She ran her hands through her hair as she paced across the floor. Her feet kicked stray bolts and tools across the floor. Noises echoing as the scattered and hit against other items.

She had ruined James life. He probably would have had a happy, albeit boring, life in his future it not been for her. Married a nice girl. Had a couple kids. Worked as the Deputy in that blasted town for however long he desired. Maybe one day he would have become the sheriff. What ever it was he wanted, he could have had it. Now she wasn't sure what was in store for him, she didn't even know what her own plans were for him. She couldn't keep him around forever, but letting him go was so risky. He'd seen where she hid out. She'd have to find a new place, but she couldn't do that with him and she couldn't let him go while he knew where she was hiding out. Every time she thought about it the more complicated things got. There was no simple or easy answer to their situation.

She had caused too many what if's now. It was so much easier when it had just been her. Her and that stupid horse. So much easier to care for just her and Dante. Moving around was easier. Picking a new target, getting away, everything. She didn't have to worry about any one else or their problems. She could prepare for her monthly meets in peace. She could have the money and make the drop and get on with getting the next months ready. She hadn't even thought about that since it had all began. Dreykov expected his payment by the end of the week. Alexei would be waiting for her. If she didn't or couldn't pay, she knew what the consequences would be. She had failed before. Her hand instinctively covered her stomach trying to protect herself from what would surely be coming if she couldn't get the money soon. She had no idea how she could manage to get it now. With James healing and the people in the area looking for her more than ever before it would be so much harder.

After what felt like hours of waiting and pacing, Howard walked up to her and nodded. "I got the bullet out. He's asleep for now, which is for the best. He needs the rest. He's also going to need a lot of fluids and food. I will let Maria know to expect company for dinner. I've stitched him up, I'm pretty sure it should heal up alright. He's gonna have quite the scar to tell his future wife about one day. But I don't know if it's going to help bring feeling back for him. At least not one hundred percent. The bullet was in there pretty deep, with the damage it did upon entry and the damage done between then and now, there was a lot of shredded tissue. I have a few ideas that may help though."

"Thank you Howard. Thank you for everything. I'm so sorry I dragged you into this. I promise this is the last time. I know how dangerous it is, and I don't want to bring your family into it." Her arms dropped from her chest and she took a couple steps towards the table where James lay. His face and chest were covered in sweat, light reflected off of the small droplets. His deep blue eyes were closed and his right arm lay across his chest. She smiled looking at him, most of the time she had seen him the past few days he had been sleeping. Unlike the other times where he had looked like he was in pain most of the time, he looked peaceful. Almost relieved. Getting the bullet out must have helped relieve the stress of moving from his mind.

"You and I both know that this won't be the last time." Howard chuckled as he scrubbed at blood on his hands. "Nat... You know you don't have to live this way. You know I can help, I am willing to. I've told you before. I will pay the debts. I can get this guy off your back. I can get you out of this now. Set you up in a nice home? Land for Dante in a nice little town where ever you want. Just tell me where. I will do it for you. But this lifestyle, Natalia, it's only hurting yourself and others. You can't do this forever. You running against the odds now. It's only a matter of time before they catch up to you, and I don't know that you'll survive when they do."

"No." She shook her head running her hands through her hair. He was right that it was hurting herself as well as others but she couldn't drag him in. It would drag him and his family into the problem and pass the hurt on to them. "Howard you don't understand if I bring you in they won't ever let you out... They don't work that way. Once you belong to them, it's forever. Even after the debts are paid, I don't think I will truly be free. I can't do that to you. Your work for the world means too much and I couldn't do that to Maria and Tony. It's not fair."

"And what about Bucky? You dragged him into this, how was that okay? How was that fair when he didn't ask for it? Do you even know what are you going to do with him? Are you going to leave him on the side of the road like the rest? Or are you going to let him go so he can tell the whole world about you? You can't keep him forever. He will over power you, and he will get away. And if he doesn't get away what happens when these men that you are so afraid of find out? What will they do to him?" The words felt hostile. Immediately she felt the need to defend herself and her actions, but there was no defense she could put up to fix her mistakes of the last week. Howard was right, he was reading the same fears that were running through her mind constantly since she had first taken him in.

"I-I..." she bit down on her lip shaking her head. "I don't know Howard. It's all a mess. It was never supposed to go down like this. But I couldn't let him suffer. I don't know what to do with him. I just want him to be okay and safe. But I don't know what to do anymore. I just wanted to be free. I wanted to get away from them! I didn't want to see them ever again, I just wanted it over. I just wanted to be myself again, to dance and enjoy life. I wanted to live my life. Even though I know I never will, I had to cling to that hope. It has been the only thing I have had since I came to this country. Instead I ruined his life. I didn't care about the other lives I ruined, they didn't matter to me. They were needed sacrifices. But James... There is something about him that I am not ready to loose."

"You care about him." Howard's voice dropped, the hostility gone in a moment as he stepped towards her wrapping her in a hug. Natalia found herself crumpling into his hold. Howard was so understanding of her and the mistakes she had made, she knew no matter what she did he would always be there for her. "Natalia you are human. Mistakes happen. But you are trying to fix it. You will figure it out. You always do. And you know we will be here to help you with what ever you need. We care about you Natalia. We are willing to help you but you need to be willing to accept our help Nat."

"This isn't just a mistake.... This is... I don't know." She felt so hopeless. She had been so close to freedom. And now she felt so far. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She reached up to brush them away. He had always seemed like a big brother to her, the kind she wished she could have had growing up, and now was no different. The kind that would have prevented all of this from happening in the first place. Protected her from Dreykov, kept her home in Russia with their family. But she couldn't have had it then, she would just have to be grateful she had it now.

"But you need to face the reality, this Deputy means more to you than any of the others. There is a reason for that. You said it yourself, there is something about him that you are not ready to loose. Maybe you should find out why that is. And it wouldn't hurt to find out if he feels the same way about you." Howards words struck her. She knew he was right but she couldn't face the truth of it. Instead she chose to change the subject.

"You said you have ideas for his arm. What are they? How much will they cost?"

"You know I'm not going to charge you a thing. Come on. Let me show you."

Chapter Text

Bucky lay on the table eyes closed breathing deeply for sometime before he finally sat up and pulled the rag from his mouth and wiped the sweat from his face with his arm. In the past two days he had been shot by a friend, kidnaped by a stranger, fallen off of a moving horse, and operated on. His body was utterly exhausted. All he really wanted was to get a long good nights rest in his own bed, or better yet to wake up and find that this had all be a dream. But he sincerely doubted that was going to happen. Just knowing the bullet was out was comforting to him, even if it didn't change much. At least now the wound could be stitched, and potentially heal. It would certainly leave quite the scar. He didn't dare try to move his hand. At this point every failed attempt was just a painful reminder of what had happened.

He could see Howard and Natasha talking across the barn, their voices were too low to be over heard. But whatever they were talking about clearly brought intense emotions from both, Howard's face was filled with frustration as he pointed back towards Bucky and Natasha looked as if she was about to break into tears at any second. All it would take was the wrong word to send the tears streaming down her face. Howard's frustration seemed to melt away as he wrapped her in his arms. Natasha seemed to curl up and let go of everything she had been holding on to. Howard held her for a moment and Bucky felt an intense sense of jealousy grow in his chest as he watched the scene lay out in front of him.

He couldn't explain the feeling, she had come to rob his town, been the reason he was shot, and then she had kidnapped him, and yet he was jealous of some man he had never met giving her a hug? What in the world was wrong with him? Who in their right mind could possibly feel that way? That had to be it, he wasn't in his right mind. He needed to stop thinking about her, get his mind back on track. Which was much harder to do than it was to say, seeing as she was his captor and the only person aside from Howard he had had contact with for the past two days. Not to mention she was taking care of him. She had been closer to him than any other woman ever had been besides his mother and sister. But the closeness between his family had been different. They were related. It wasn't anything special. Just living in tight quarters most of the time. With Natasha it felt different. The proximity was more than just out of need. He desired it, even after all that had happened. And he had no idea when or if she planned to let him go. Yet despite all of this he knew that he wanted to be the one holding her.

He could hear the two walking towards him. He glanced up at them, Natasha's arms were crossed in front of her chest as she walked. Howard moved off towards the only enclosed room in the barn, as Natasha continued towards Bucky Her bright hair fell around her face, framing it in tangled curls. Despite the slight puffiness around her eyes she looked beautiful. He was doing it again. He had to stop or he would never be able to figure out his next steps.

Bucky glanced down at the new bandages that Howard had put on after removing the bullet and stitching the wound. They were wrapped much neater than the ones Natasha had put on the past two days, but they also felt tighter. Almost uncomfortably tight. He reached for the shirt he had left near the other end of the table and began pulling it on. He tugged the left sleeve over his arm gently and pulled it up to cover his should before he pushed his right arm through the other sleeve. He began grabbing the buttons determined to figure out how to do it one handed. If he was going to live like this for the rest of his life he would have to figure it out sooner or later. And the sooner he did the better. After all, he wouldn't have Natasha there to help him forever. He managed to get the first button about half way through the hole before it slipped and the Widow chuckled. She now stood directly in front of him, a smile filled her small face.

"Can you handle that yourself Deputy?" She asked with a small smile before she took the two sides of the shirt from his hands. "Howard told me you were asleep. You probably need it. The last two days have been a lot for you."

Immediately she got to work pushing the buttons through their corresponding holes. James watched the movements of her fingers as he tried to keep his eyes off of her face. He knew if he met those eyes he would do something very stupid. He was full of so many stupid ideas now. It was a miracle he had made it this long with out acting on any of them. Especially when she was this close to him.

"I don't think I could sleep now even if I tried to." He muttered. He was exhausted but sleeping on a table in the middle of a work shop didn't seem like the best idea. He doubted Howard would be comfortable letting Bucky sleep in his work space alone, and probably wouldn't want to sit and stare at him as Bucky slept. Not that Bucky could sleep through some one watching over him the entire time. Even just imagining it was enough to make him shudder.

"I'm sorry James. I swear, I never meant for this to happen... I wish I could change it. I wish I could go back and keep you out if it all together. You didn't ask for any of this. Things ran off the track so fast I just didn't know what to do. I didn't expect any of it." She trailed off and Bucky glanced up at her eyes quickly before tearing his gaze away, only for it to be caught by her soft pink lips. He shook his head and closed his eyes trying to clear his mind but found it nearly impossible to do so.

She finished with the last button and let go of the shirt intending to step away from him but before she could pull away Bucky's hand grabbed hers. His thumb rubbed across her skin and he instinctively tightened his hold on her. Her skin felt so soft under his thumb. Her fingers so thin and delicate, as if one wrong movement could snap them in half. But they slipped between his with ease and felt comfortable there.

"It's not your fault, you shouldn't be blaming yourself entirely. I told him not to shoot the darn gun. I thought by saying that he would understand that he was not supposed to shoot the gun. Apparently I wasn't clear enough for him, I will have to work on that in future. Adam hasn't had the need or the desire to shoot a gun before. He shouldn't have been trusted with it, let alone a loaded one. We were desperate. You do stupid things when you're desperate." He muttered lifting his eyes to meet her bright green eyes. That was his first mistake. Meeting those brilliant emerald eyes filled with compassion and confusion, and something else that he couldn't quite name. He could see the tears welling up in her eyes as she tried to apologize. The moment he met them all self control was lost.

Before he could stop himself from doing something he'd most likely regret, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, he dropped her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer until her body was pressed against his. Natasha froze beneath his grip for a moment, as if she had never been kissed before this moment. Slowly she wrapped her own arms around him, letting a hand run through his messy hair. Everything about the kiss felt so right, and yet so wrong at the same time. As soon as he pulled away he regretted it, he longed to bring her close again but that would be foolish. He thought he was smarter than that, but his desires and actions were proving him very wrong.

James' own words came into his mind. 'You do stupid things when you're desperate."

Chapter Text

She couldn't explain the feeling when his lips met hers, except for perfect. His lips had met hers so quickly there had been nothing she could do to prevent it, and once they had she didn't want to. His hand dropped hers and moved to her waist, his fingers dug into the back of her shirt as he pulled her closer, the fabric pulling tighter around her body as he wrapped it around the fingers of his good hand. His body pressed up against hers and she could feel the heat radiating off of his body. Her stomach was filled with butterflies, swarming it and seemingly flipping. Her fingers felt like they were numb, and everything felt right. Better yet, it felt safe. Something she hadn't felt for years. And she didn't want that feeling to end, or the kiss.

For a moment her entire body froze, unable to move. Not sure what to do or what she wanted to do. After what felt like forever she found herself able to move, her hands reached up wrapping around his neck and moving to his dark hair, tangling themselves into his thick strands of hair. Until he pulled away. As soon as his lips left hers she knew she wanted more. No, she needed more. She knew it would become a drug that she couldn't fight off if she didn't get control over it now. But in this moment that was the last thing she wanted to do.

She wanted to keep him close for as long as she could. That feeling of safety dwindled when he pulled away and she yearned for more. She could have stayed in his arms for forever, but he pulled away the look on his face was almost as surprised as she was. His hand reached up to rub the back of his neck before he spoke again.

She had learned not to trust people, especially men. They seemed to always have hidden motives. They wanted something more from her. And they were not afraid to take it, to force it from her by any means necessary. But James didn't. His kiss had been sincere, passionate, but kind. He didn't try for anything more. He didn't force anything from her. It was an unfamiliar feeling for her. For the first time she felt herself longing for more.

"I'm sorry. That was..." James shook his head letting his hair fall into his face and cover his brilliant blue eyes. "I don't know what I was think..."

"It was perfect." She muttered cutting him off before he could finish what he was saying. She reached up and brushed away his hair to look him in the eyes. His eyes met hers with surprise, and she offered him a gentle smile. The surprise in his blue eyes melted away as she toyed with a piece of his hair. His hand moved back to her waist, resting on the small of her back. She finally understood why she had saved him and why she couldn't give him an answer when he asked her previously. It was an answer she never could have known until this happened.

"This is why." She whispered letting her fingers brush against his cheek leaning in to give him another kiss, the stubble of his unshaven beard tickled her cheek, but his lips were soft and welcoming. The feeling of safety enveloped her once again as James moved his hand back to her waist. For the first time in her life she found herself wanting someone, and wanting for them to want her back. To have a future with one specific person and to share hopes and dreams with them. If that was even a possibility. Both Natasha and James jumped when they heard the door to the back room close.

"Now I'm not exactly sure how well this is going to work. Like I said it's before it's time, but maybe with just a small part of it I can manage to make it..." Howard looked up from the pages he was holding and cocked an eyebrow. Pointing at the two of them and shaking his head, he asked "Some one want to explain? Are you two? Are you fondueing?"

Natasha pulled away from James. While she wasn't entirely sure what Howard had meant by the term "fondueing" she could understand what he had been implying. Her face turning bright red as she did so. James himself had a slight blush as he reached up to rub the back of his head, he seemed to do it whenever he was embarrassed or unsure of something. Natasha knew the best way to get Howard to stop talking about it was to change the subject, specifically to something in specialty. "Just show us what you've got. Tell me what I can do to help make it work."

"I don't think that I will ever understand you Russians or your secrets." Howard blinked a few times and shook his head before he continued on with explaining his plan acting as if nothing had happened and that he had not just walked in on them kissing. "The entire suit needs far to much power to run, power we can't create just yet. Another thing for Tony to take on, maybe in his time they will be able to make that power. However, I think I can get the arm running on just movement. No power cells needed, a permanent source of power so long as Bucky can move his arm just a bit. Keep Buck alive and you'll keep it movin'."

He laid the papers down on the table pointing at the blueprints to what looked like an arm made of sticks and straps. To her it looked like a child trying to draw a human arm. But Howard and James seemed to see something in that she couldn't see. "I think if Bucky can get just a little bit of movement going on in that arm of his, I can make this work. It will probably be finicky for a while and it will need a lot of touch ups and tuning before it is running perfectly, so you will have to be patient as we work that out. But we can use the device to amplify whatever movements you can make. You will still be limited in what you can do but it will be more than what you've got right now, and we can continue to work on it. Get it to a point where you'll be functioning essentially at the same point as you were before the accident happened. Obviously it will be a bit different than it was before, not quite as natural, but it is going to be better than doing nothing right? At least you'll have two hands to use."

Natasha could see the look of wonder in James' eyes. Like a little boy watching a steam engine run down the tracks for the very first time. He looked over the blueprints reading each note and examining the different pictures on the pages. HIs fingers traced the images and he listened intently to Howard as he spoke, each word bringing more hope to him. He stood straighter, his She smiled as she saw the glimmer of hope growing in his eyes. The hope had disappeared when she first brought him back and he'd realized he couldn't move his arm. Now it was back in those vibrant blue eyes... They had seen so much. She longed to hear the stories behind it all.

"So if I can move my fingers it will make the movement bigger? Or if I bend my elbow?" Natasha could see the gears turning in James' head as he pieced everything together in is mind. She would have never thought the deputy of a small town would have such a love for tinkering. She would have expected him to be all about guns and horse back riding. Catching the bad guys or whatever it was that small deputy's did. Not having a love for inventing or learning about it. Maybe if things worked out Howard would have a place for him to learn, and expand on it. If James wanted to of course.

"Essentially. It's going to take some time for us to really nail it down, it's not something I've worked with much. But we've got a few things over at Stark Industries that we have started using it on. Smaller than this but hey, that's what I was born to do. Change what the world has and make it better. I'd recommend staying away from heavy lifting for a bit until we can figure out what we can do to help it support weight. That is going to take some time to figure out, but once we get it going it shouldn't be too hard to make changes to accommodate anything you find you can't do or have difficulties doing. For you it is going to mean a few days of learning. And it's gonna take me a few days to make sure we get the mechanics right on it. But if we take the pieces off the suit I've been working on we can have a working prototype tonight. This is a whole new territory of medicine and medical help, I won't promise anything. But I will work with you and do everything I can to make it work. It's just down to you." Howard nodded to Bucky's hand laying against his side.

Natasha saw the doubt cross James' face for a moment before he quickly replaced it with determination. She had seen that look before. In the bank when he was determined to get her out of there and protect his friends. And in her little hide out, trying to get answers to the questions he asked. Both times he had gotten what he wanted. Even if it had been in very round about ways. If his determination now mimicked the determination of that day she had no doubt he would be able to to pull this off. She had no doubt that determination had been something that helped him get the job in Bandera. And no doubt that it would help him get through this trial, help him find a way through and . It set him apart from every other man she had met before.

"Okay." James stood up taller, nodding. He looked up with a grin and glanced towards Natasha reaching out his good hand to take hers in his own. She gave it a reassuring squeeze letting her fingers lace between his. She would do whatever he needed from her, whatever she could to help him get his life back on track. "Then we should get started, no reason to keep procrastinating."

Chapter Text

Hours of practice and effort had paid off. He had sat with Natasha as she helped him move each finger, curling each one up slowly. Then letting him try before repeating the action. They repeated the process dozens of times until he could coax it to happen on his own. Starting with his fingers, moving one at a time until he could twitch them on his own, then moving to his wrist and elbow. She had been so patient with him, never getting frustrated or angry that he wasn't able to do it. With each movement she rewarded him with a smile and words of encouragement. She just kept cheering him on. The movements were small, but small was better than nothing. He had a soaring headache from the concentration it had taken, but seeing the small twitches in his fingers was well worth it.

"Howard should be done with his part soon." The red head gave him a smile before nodding towards the center of the barn where Howard had been working. He was quiet loud when he worked. Often getting excited about things and shouting about them. He hummed to himself as he worked, as if the silence was not something he enjoyed listening to.

Bucky nodded and flexed his fingers again. The effort it took was quite a bit, and he could only hope what ever Howard had planned would help him with that at least. If it was going to take this much concentration and effort every time just to move his pinky or index finger he wasn't sure it would be worth it. He knew with time it would likely become easier to get the movements to come but with his current headache that wasn't something he wanted to think about too long.

Natasha stood up from her spot on the edge of the cluttered work table where they had been working together to go find Stark.

"Nat."

The Widow looked back at him, surprised at the use of her nick name. Bucky wasn't even sure why he had used it, but it felt so natural. After the days they had spent together he figured she couldn't deny him that. He let her call him James after all, but after hearing her call him James so many times he had admitted to himself that he didn't want her to call him anything but James. Bucky would have felt foreign coming from her. James may have been a name he had stopped using long ago, but she filled those aching memories attached to it with hope.

"Thank you." He said the words hoping she would see how sincere he was about them. He truly was grateful for the effort she had gone to for him. Taking him to a trusted friend had not been something she had to do, yet she still chose to. Helping him recover hadn't been something she had to do yet once again she chose to. And he was beyond grateful for it. While she may have been the reason that his life was in danger in the first place she had chosen to stray from her typical actions to preserve his life.

"For what?" She asked confused, her hands tugged at the ends of her sleeves, pulling them into her palm, her fingers curling around them to keep them in place. It wasn't the first time he had seen her do it. Whenever she was nervous she tugged at them. He found the nervous habit quite cute. It only added to the list of things that made the Black Widow truly seem human. Set her apart from the rumors swirling around her nickname.

"Everything. Saving my life. Taking care of me. This." He stood and reached for her hand, gently pulling the fingers away from the fabric of her shirt so he could lace his own in between them.

"You don't have to thank me. It was my fault. If I didn't come to your town... if I had skipped it like I had previously planned on." She trailed off and tried to pull her hand back as she looked away from him towards the center of the room where Howard could be seen working.

He gripped her hand tighter, refusing to let it go. Confused by her statement he asked "What do you mean skip my town? Why didn't you skip it?"

"I..." she sighed and shook her head "There is a lot of things in my past that made me who I am today. I don't know if I'm ready to tell you that story yet."

She dropped his hand and stepped away from him. Bucky could see the hurt and anger flash in her eyes. Whatever this secret was, he needed to know. But he knew couldn't push it. It was hers to tell. With time he was sure she would, but he wasn't sure he had time to wait. He was anxious to return to Bandera. Anxious to let Steve know he was okay. Anxious to punch Adam square in the face. Return to his life, if he could.

"We should check on Howard. With any luck he's almost done" He said walking past her towards the metal figure he had questioned about earlier. Stark had started taking it apart hours ago, when they has begun working on moving his fingers and arm. He had been so focused on the work Bucky wasn't sure he'd have even noticed if anything happened outside of his world of creating.

"Ha!" A laugh sounds from across the barn and Bucky could see the man stepping back to stare at the pile of metal, leather, and gears sitting in front of him. "Alright Buck! Ready to give this thing a test?"

The use of Buck caught him off guard for a moment, suddenly he understood how Natasha must have felt only moments earlier when he had used her nickname. The only other people to call him that had been Steve and Rebecca. It felt odd to hear it come form someone else's mouth. But he wasn't about to complain. This man had just spent hours helping Bucky out. The least he could do was let him call him Buck. Bucky sped up his step and met Howard near the table. He stared at the configuration laying in front of him confused.

"Ready as I will ever be I suppose."

"I'd like to introduce you to the iron arm. The name is pending." He picked it up and nodded towards Bucky. "You'll have to take your shirt off again. I want to get it as close to skin as we can. Don't want anything getting in the way. Less risk of it catching in the gears. I am also hoping keeping it close to the skin will help it feel a bit more comfortable. Not to mention, easier to hide it."

Bucky understood and began pushing the buttons through their corresponding holes on the other side of the shirt. Natasha stood next to him watching, as if hoping he needed to help to get them undone. He dropped the fabric on the table and stood back waiting for Howard's next instructions. The barn had grown cold as the hours had passed. He could feel goosebumps rising on his skin and he didn't know if it was from anticipation or the chill of the air around him.

"As I explained earlier it's going to help amplify those movements that you make. We just need to get it strapped on. Nat, you should watch. It will be good for him to take it off every couple of days and rest for a bit with out it. But obviously he won't be able to do that alone." Howard seemed to be speaking more to himself as he picked up the tangle of metal and leather.

Bucky used his right arm to lift his left up, trying to help get it situated for the 'iron arm.' The name would have to change, but that was a topic for a later time. Right now he was just anxious to see if it would actually work. Howard slipped the contraption over his bare arm and he twitched at the feeling of the cool metal against his skin. Feeling... He smiled at it. Cold as it might be he could feel it. Immediately the man got to strapping it on, making sure each one was tight enough to prevent the metal bars from moving, but loose enough to keep blood flowing. Natasha stepped forward and helped slide his fingers into place between small strips of metal. Both stepped back at the same time and Stark gave a nod.

The arm comprised of several thin flat metal bars pulled against his skin meeting at the elbow with a set of gears and leather straps. A similar set up was found at the wrist, with smaller metal strips stretching out to the fingers, each knuckle meeting with a small set of gears. A strap ran from the top of the contraption across his chest, under his right arm and across his back to keep the shoulder tight. It looked straight out of a fictional story book, but as long as it worked like Stark said it would Bucky wouldn't complain. It could make him look completely ridiculous and he wouldn't care as long as he could move his arm again.

"Well, give it a try deputy." Howard looked almost as anxious and excited as Bucky felt.

Cautiously Bucky bent his fingers. He heard an almost silent clicking sound and his fingers snapped against his palm. While he felt next to nothing the movement surprised him. He had only been able to twitch the fingers and now with help he was able to make a full movement. He laughed and looked up at the other two amazed.

"I can't believe it." He shook his head baffled, slowly he tried again and let out a laugh as the fingers snapped against his palm once more. He looked up at Natasha his smile growing when he met her eyes. She stood back a couple feet with a smile on her face. She looked so relieved and proud.

"It can use some tweaking, looks like it is taking the movement a little too far." Howard immediately started taking notes on a piece of paper muttering to himself. He scratched his head with his pencil as he thought things out.

Natasha stayed where she was staring at him with a slight smirk on her lips. "How does it feel James?"

"I don't know how to describe it. It's not like before but it, I mean it's not quite as natural feeling but it moves. I was beginning to think it would never happen again. I thought when Adam shot me - well I kind of figured that was it." He laughed starring at the contraption now resting against his arm. Twisting his wrist to view it from all angles.

"I'm happy for you." She laughed lightly and stepped closer to him, reaching out to take the arm in her hand. She examined it, gently turning his hand over to examine the other side. "You never know with Howard. He tends to go a little, overboard on things when he is excited about them. But he creates good work. Always has."

"How does it look?" He examined it himself while holding it out for her to look at. While he knew it wasn't the most appeasing site, he found he didn't care much. It brought back something he had thought would be gone forever. He would take a clunky, unattractive, metal attachment over no movement any day. And he was sure he could hide most of it under coats and shirts if he needed to.

"Well it's definitely not something you see everyday, but I don't mind it." She smiled as she reached up to brush her fingers against one of the metal brackets. she traced it until it hit the gears at his elbow and pulled away. "It will be a conversation starter for sure."

James reached passed her to grab his shirt. He pulled it over the contraption and cringed when the sound of fabric ripping was heard. Immediately he glanced at Natasha concerned how she would react to him ripping her shirt. Natasha simply chuckled and gave him a side eye. "Ripping up the nice shirt I gave you James? How inconsiderate of you."

She grabbed a pair of scissors from the work bench and cut away a portion of the sleeve, rolling the rest of it up to hide the fraying ends. She turned to his right arm and rolled the sleeve up to match the left. "It looks better this way. You'll swoon all the women now."

James laughed and shook his head, reaching his hand up to brush against the soft skin of her cheek. "I'll replace the shirt. And I'm not looking to swoon all the women, just one."

She looked up at him from the corner of her eye with a smirk. "The shirt is the last of my worries. Keep it. I have a feeling you might be ripping through a few more while you get used to things."

Natasha was right, he'd rip through several if he wasn't careful. Another thing to adjust to he supposed.

Chapter Text

James looked genuinely happy, as if this moment was made of pure joy. Like the past moments that caused it didn't matter. And his laugh, like his smile was filled with joy. It was so comforting to hear. He almost seemed like the Deputy she had seen the day she first rode into his town. Smiling and laughing with his friends outside the bank, with out a care in the world and no idea where the next day would take him. Just a cocky Deputy trying to get his friends off his back. It wasn't a look she was used to. The people she generally interacted with were rarely happy when she was around them. She didn't realize then how much she would come to enjoy the that emotion, especially when it was coming from James. His laugh filled her with the joy she had lost years ago. Brought back comfort she thought she could never feel again.

It reminded her of the late nights playing with Yelena in the kitchen. Laughing as they tried to make cookies to surprise their mama with. Their father's hearty laugh filling the room as he learned what they were doing. She missed those moments. They now felt like a life time ago.

She stared far longer than she should have but she enjoyed the way he looked and acted at the moment. His dark hair was tangled and unkempt, with two days of unshaven facial hair. The stubble looked good on him. Gave him a bit of an edge, not so goody two shoes, and that edge was so desirable. If she was being honest with herself, all she wanted to do was kiss him again. Press her lips against his, feel that flutter in her stomach, feel his arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer to him. Things had gone so wrong, yet so right at the same time. She had no clue what could possibly come from this situation, but she was grateful for the twist in fate.

If she had her way he'd be a part of her life until the end. But she hadn't had her way in life since coming to America. She doubted that would change now. James had feeling, he could move his arm. He had a life to get home to. Friends, a job, possibly family members. They would miss him, and even if she missed him it wasn't safe for him in her world. They live completely different lives. She knew no matter how badly she wanted him to stay if he left it would be for the best - for both of them. She knew she couldn't let him stay in her life. Not with the trials she faced. Bringing him to Alexei's attention would only cause trouble for James. If he didn't leave she would have to push him away. A task that would be a million times harder now that she had finally admitted the feelings she had for him. She hated the thought of it. For a few short days she could almost pretend nothing was wrong, that she was living a normal life. And that for a moment, just a moment, she could love someone. And that they could live a life together. Loosing that future would hurt more than anything she had lost yet. She had left her family willingly, had come to America by choice, but loosing James wouldn't be a willing choice.

Howard was now bent over the 'iron arm' and instructing James on what to do so they could fine tune it. The name was atrocious. But the smile it gave him was well worth it. She would call it anything if it meant keeping James smiling. The men exchanged casual conversation as they worked. Grease covered both men now, and the table they worked on was covered in scraps of metal, leather, and dozens of tools. The dusty wood floor looked about the same, covered in shavings from the materials. A knock came from the door near the front of the barn and a petite dark haired woman stepped in with a little boy hiding behind the fabrics of her skirt and apron.

"Howard? Dinner is ready whenever you are."

Howard instantly stood up and turned to face the two in the door way. His mouth turned to a smile as he saw them, and the little boy stepped out from behind his mother's skirts waving to his father. "Is it really that late already?"

Howard dropped the wrench he had been using on the table, and moved towards his family scooping the young boy up in a hug. The boy laughed and cried out protests as his father tickled his stomach and tossed him over his shoulder when he leaned down to kiss his wife. A chuckle escaped the small woman. They really seamed like the perfect family. Howard clearly loved both his wife and son very much, it wasn't something he was afraid to talk about or show. And Maria understood his need to work often, even when he was home she knew he would likely be spending most of the day in the barn or in his office. She wasn't like most women, she was independent and strong. She could go weeks with out having Howard home, but she also loved having him around. Tony didn't seem to mind it either, but Natalia wondered if as he grew older he would still feel that way, or if he would begin to resent his father's work and frequent business trips. Perhaps as he grew Howard would bring him in more and show him what the family business was all about.

"Your friends are more than welcome to eat with us. I made plenty, and I am sure that Tony would love to have company. It's nice to see you again Natalia." Maria gave her a bright smile and waved in her direction. She stepped out of the barn with Howard and Tony following quickly behind.

As they walked away hand in hand, Howard could be heard saying "I think you mean that you would like the company for Tony."

The statement was followed by laughs from both parents and a half dozen different questions from Tony, ranging from why 'Aunt Nat' was there, and who the strange man with the monster arm was. Followed by what was for dinner, and could he just skip it an eat pie?

Natasha, like Howard, had not realized how late it had gotten. Time had passed so quickly while they had been working. Her stomach was growling, they had worked right through lunch and until now she had not noticed how hungry she was. Now she found herself excited to eat some of Maria's amazing dinner. She made simple meals, but they were quite delicious and filling. Much better than eating a piece of cornbread and a few apple slices. It would be nice to eat a homemade dinner, and to socialize with friends for a night.

Natasha made to follow the small family out of the barn towards the house but James' hand caught hers and he pulled her back to him. Her heart skipped a beat as she turned to look at him and the charming grin on his face. How could he do that to her? Use a simple action to make her entire body freeze, make her mind almost forget what she was facing. She had faced men before and none of them had effected her like this. They had mostly struck fear in her, or made themselves look stupid and incompetent. James did neither. Instead he instilled safety in her while making her feel like the fool for letting him effect her in such a new way.

"Thank you Natasha." The look on his face was so sincere. She could see the gratitude in his eyes. But she could also see the exhaustion in his face. He was in desperate need of a good nights rest. Perhaps not worrying about the bullet in his arm he might sleep better tonight. Hopefully he could sleep without waking, and not worry about rolling over in his sleep or laying on his arm the wrong way. They would have a long journey ahead of them before that could happen unfortunately.

"It was all Howard. He is the one you should be thanking. All I did was manage to get you shot, which is not something you should be thanking me for." Natasha felt the familiar ache in her heart once more, it always came when the topic was brought up. She hated that it did. Hated that it was her fault, but at least she was doing what she could to make it better. And for whatever reason James didn't seem to blame her for her mistake. For that she would be grateful and confused. "I had to do what I could to fix my mistake."

"I don't blame you at all, please remember that. If anyone is at fault for the shooting it's me. I gave an untrained man a fully loaded gun and expected him to know how to use it if it came to it." He tightened his grip on her hand before dropping it. The sincerity in his voice was strong, but it didn't wipe away the pain she felt for dragging him into this situation. He may not blame her, but she did, she always would. "I think we'd better go eat. I'd love to meet the woman behind Howard. She's got to have all the patience in the world to deal with him."

Natasha laughed "Maria is wonderful, Howard is incredibly lucky to have such a woman. How she can put up with the man and all of his insane ideas I will never know. But she is so good for him. And just wait until you meet Tony. He's an exact copy of Howard, with about ten times the energy. I am sure you two will get along wonderfully. I am still amazed Maria can put up with both Howard and Tony, those two can never seem to concentrate on any one thing for long. She has more patience than any one I have ever met."

"Judging on what I have seen of Howard, I can only imagine how a six year old version of him would be."

Chapter Text

*****TRIGGER WARNING*****

Mentions of Rape and Abuse

Dinner had been excellent. James had relished not only in the savory food but the feeling and movement in his arm. Though his own actions were small and the feeling limited, the movements the attachment created in response were strong and directed. He was still getting used to the contraption, which he refused to call "iron-arm." What a ridiculous name. But it moved, ridiculous name or not, it worked. And no name would stop him from being grateful for that.

The contraption was tight against his arm, but not tight enough that he would complain. The metal had been cold when he first put it on, but it had since warmed up. Howard had mentioned taking it off and spending some time with out it as he adjusted to the new device. He was sure after then it would be cold again but that wouldn't be enough to bother him. It would warm up again and then it wouldn't be an issue.

The Starks had kindly offered to let them stay the night in their guest bedrooms. At first Natasha had tried to decline, claiming they could make the trip just fine and she didn't want to intrude on their family time. But when Maria pushed back with her own arguments, stating that they had more than enough room and she would love to have some female company for once, she caved. It helped that the sun was already setting and desert chill was settling in for the night. Riding now would be a much chillier and a longer process than if they left early in the morning. Not to mention how easy it was to get lost in the dark. And the bobcats and coyotes that came out in search of a midnight snack once the sun went down.

Howard had taken that moment to inform them, with a mouth full of food, that he would like to have Bucky stay a few days to make sure everything was going well. Maria had given the man a playful slap on the arm and reminded him not to talk with his mouth full. Howard had responded by chuckling and shoveling in another spoonful of food. Tony had loved the idea and immediately grabbed the Deputy, pulling him away from the table and his unfinished dinner, running him around the house to show him every odd and end he could find before finally settling on playing cowboys. The little boy had long since fallen asleep and his father had carried him to bed for the night after telling Bucky and Natasha which rooms they could use for the night.

Now Natasha sat alone in the front room staring out the window fiddling with the edge of the blanket as she did so. The night sky was filled with stars, not a cloud in the sky to hide their brilliant glow. Bucky stood in the doorway watching her. He wasn't sure what the next step was for him now. He wasn't sure that Bandera was safe from her, but he also wasn't sure he was ready to leave her even if it was. She held a power over him. A sense of desire for her was constant in his mind. She was so mysterious and he longed to uncover the mysteries.

He stepped into the small sitting room and crossed the floor to the chair she occupied, deciding it was time to find the answer to at least one of those mysteries. "Howard called you Natalia when he first saw you. I thought your name was Natasha?"

Her fingers stopped their dancing and her head turned to look at him. A sea of hurt behind her emerald irises. Part of him almost wished he hadn't said anything at all. But he needed to know why she had told him Natasha while Howard had been given Natalia. He knew it seemed trivial. But her name had been one thing she'd given up easy, the one thing he had known from the beginning. Something that made their interactions feel more personal. To know it had been a lie stung.

"Natalia is my birth name." She whispered. "My father named me after his mother. I guess he hoped that I would grow up to be like her. But I'm not in Russia, I'm not married to a poor farm hand, I'm not raising four children on a diet of potatoes and water, I don't sew, and I am not nearly as kind, patient or even close to how sweet she was..."

"Why Natasha?" Bucky sat down on the chair across from her, leaning foreword and placing his elbows on his knees. He was ready to listen to her, to hear her whole story. Make sense of it all and put the pieces together of her life. Maybe learn why she had become the Black Widow, and why she continued to live that lifestyle.

"James... There things you don't want to know about. Things you are better off not knowing." Natalia's eyes dropped to the patterned blanket on her lap. She grabbed the edges and pulled it up to wrap it around her shoulders, tucking it beneath her chin. Natalia pulled her legs up on the chair, tucking her feet underneath her, before focusing once more on the starry night view outside the window. Tears glistened at the edges of her eyes.

"My mother died of tuberculosis when I was eleven, she dealt with it for a couple years. She fought really hard, but no one survives it. As a kid you don't really understand that until it's too late. You kind of just keep hoping that they are going to get better and that they will survive it. I mean she was my mother, they go through everything and never let anyone know how much of a toll it takes on them. They always get better, at least that is what you think as a child. But there comes a time when they don't get better. Towards the end it was really bad. She couldn't get out of bed, most of the time she sleeping and when she was awake she wasn't really there. It was almost a relief when she passed away because I knew she wasn't suffering anymore. Until my father start to blame me for it. He claimed that she got it from Steve's mom. And it never would have happened had I not been friends with that 'pathetic excuse for a child.' He was right. Sarah is probably who she got it from, but they were close friends too. She was determined to help Sarah and take care of Steve. We spent hours at the Roger's place trying to help out. My father started drinking right after she caught it. She never liked him when he was drunk but when she was sick she couldn't stop him, and he didn't care what she or anyone thought about it anymore. Five weeks after we buried ma, my sister began showing symptoms. She was only eight at the time. She died seven months later, her body was too young to even try fighting it off, it took her faster than I had seen it take anyone. Once again he blamed me...." He wasn't sure why he was telling her his story. Few people knew the truth of his past. Even Steve only knew pieces. Bucky could never tell him that he was the reason his father blamed him. He took a deep breath before he continued on.

"Becca was the one thing that had stopped him from lashing out after ma passed, he didn't want his precious daughter to see him as a monster. Once she was gone he didn't care anymore. He drank himself away, and he let the drinks take over. That first night after we buried her... I didn't even get a chance to mourn her. He got a little too drunk after the services and let it all loose. He broke a beer bottle over my head, the he took a bat and broke my arm. I got a job at the docks as soon as I healed to get away from him and to help pay for his debts... He liked the job, made for a good excuse when neighbors saw me bruised. Just told them I got it at work, slipped on the dock hit my head. Tripped on a chain, coworker threw a wrench the wrong way. I gave up every dream I had to protect myself. He died when I was seventeen. As a kid I always thought I would mourn when my father died, cry at his grave side, miss him whenever I would see kids playing with their fathers in the street. Maybe even my own kids would miss their grandfather. But that night was the most liberating night of my life... I was finally free. I hadn't felt that way in so long."

Natalia looked at him wonder in her eyes as he told her about his past. She dropped the blanket and reached out for his hand. "James I had no idea. I am so sorry. No child deserves to go through that. No parent should treat their child like that. The scars I saw, they were from him weren't they?"

He looked down at his arms and chest and nodded. Pops had been smart about most of his hits, landing them across his chest and upper arms so they could be easily hid. Most people didn't even know they were there.

"My past is something I survived. It's not something I am proud of or that I take pleasure in remembering. I haven't told many people about it, and those I have told don't know everything about it. It's my story. My history to share when I want. Not everyone needs to or deserves to hear it. But some do..." he looked up at her and ran his hand through his hair. "Sometimes the things we think others don't need to know about are the things they need to know most. The things that will let them know just how much we trust them. When you are ready to tell me what ever it is that you think I shouldn't know I will be ready to listen to you, no judgements. I promise."

He gripped the edges of the chair to push himself off to leave the room and head to bed. He had meant what he said. When she was ready to tell him, he would be ready to listen.

The sound of her quiet voice stopped him "I was in ballet most of my life. My parents worked hard to pay for it, it wasn't cheap but they wanted my sister and I to have something besides farm life to look foreword to. We were all told I had talent and that my talent could take me places. I could make the papers, be in the shows that those who had money to freely spend loved watching every weekend. All they had to do was send me to America, there all my dreams could come true. Dreykov, he ran the school I was attending at the time, would cover most of the trip. They just had to pay whatever they could. He would send me with his most trusted advisor and in a few years Dreykov himself would come to insure my schooling was done properly, he planned on sending several young woman to start his school in the dream land. My parents gave him everything they had... There were six of us sent to America in the beginning. We spent weeks on a ship surround by dozens of men..." she shuddered and once more pulled the blanket around her tighter as she hugged her knees to her chest. She almost looked like a scared little girl. James could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. Judging by her comment and reaction it was easy to piece together what had happened on the ship. Dozens of men with six young girls...

"I thought when we landed that would be the end of it. I would go on to live the life that Dreykov had promised. I would dance every day and never have to worry about anything else. Just fulfill my dreams. But my parents had been lied to. Dreykov, he said the debts had to be paid in full, until then I would be in his service, we all would be. Five years was all they gave us. I was sixteen at the time, some of the other girls were even younger than I was. I didn't know how I could possibly pay for it. I thought I could run from it so I caught the first train out here, I tried to start a life and forget the last year of my life. I worked at general store, the owner and his wife let me stay in the back in exchange for work. They were so kind to me. I thought I had done it. That I had escaped. It wasn't the dream life I had been promised, but it was a good life. Two months later Alexei showed up at my door... He killed the owner and his family in front of me. And then he-he..." her lips quivered and the tears began to flow.

"He took advantage of you." James whispered softly. She nodded and buried her head in her knees. James could see the young teen in her coming out. The sixteen year old who had come to America on the promise of a new life filled with fame and doing what she loved most. Forced to grow up far too soon. Forced to face the world as an adult when she herself was still just a child. The innocence of her childhood ripped away from her and five others with out a choice. She had seen death and pain that few had seen by this stage in their lives. And it had built her into a completely different woman than she had planned on. He now understood the walls, the secrets and distractions. It was all to protect herself from her past.

"He's followed me ever since, no matter how far I go he is quick to follow. I don't know how he does it, but he does. I can't escape so I pay him monthly and he sends it to Dreykov. If I can't pay it off... He is my future. Dreykov has promised me to him. I can't run, I can't hide... I've tried. The consequences are not worth it... I just want to be free. I didn't know what else to do. Robbing banks kept him off me, I could get enough money quickly with little risk. A life here or there, one specifically chosen so that the loss wouldn't effect the community much, it seemed like a small price to pay. All I wanted to do was dance and make my parents proud. Maybe send home money and get them over here so we could be a family again. Instead I'm the Black Widow. They would be so ashamed of me and what I have become. In your own words, my past isn't something I am proud of. But neither is my future. They are both just something I have to survive." The words came out between sobs. With out thinking James stood and pulled her into his arms. He wrapped his right around her tightly and rested his left hand on the back of her head.

"Natalia.... What you've been through. I can't imagine. What you did to survive, no one can possibly blame you for it..." Suddenly the trials of his past felt like nothing. He been able to escape his abuser, but she was still trapped, her attempts to escape had been met with more abuse. Everything she had done wasn't to make her comfortable or rich, or take what she felt she had deserved. It was to survive. Natalia had suffered at the hands of the devil for years. Her abuser had followed her hundreds of miles, had already claimed her as his own. And he hated it. He wanted to end it all for her. Protect her and give her the life she deserved. Give her the chance to dance like she had dreamed. Even if was just for him, or the neighbors. It would be worth it to see her smile while she danced.

James held her letting her cry in his arms. Slowly they sank to the floor. Natalia curled up tighter letting the tears flow. Never in his wildest dreams could he had imagined that the infamous Black Widow had such a tragic and horrible story behind her. That the reasoning behind her actions could be so dark. They just sat, the only noise Natalia's soft sniffles, until she fell asleep curled up like a child on his lap. Her fingers were curled around the blanket keeping it next to her chin. Her fiery hair fell around her face in tangled curls. James didn't dare move. He didn't want to wake her, and as much as he wanted to carry her to bed he wasn't sure that was something he could handle quite yet. So he stayed. Letting her rest on his lap as he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.

His mind tumbled over her story. Raped, kidnapped, lied too, used, forced to grow up. All of it made him so angry. There had to be a way he could break her out of it. Save her from the future planned for her. Redeem her from her past. He thought of every possibility to get her out of this life. Protect her. But the only thing that made sense was to end the lives of those running hers. Surely men like this deserved to die. They added nothing to the world, but they took away the innocence of young children for their own gain. They were what was wrong with the world. Natalia's life had been ripped apart by them. Taken away from her before she even got to live it. Now she was enslaved to them until she could pay off her debts or be married off to that pathetic excuse for a man.

As James thought the idea over trying to decide if he was ready or not to take someone's life, he drifted off.

Chapter Text

*** TRIGGER WARNING ***

Mentions of abuse

Natalia woke to a soft snore humming in her ears. Her body was sore and cramped. As she sat she could feel her muscles aching from the uncomfortable sleeping position, she couldn't remember why she had fallen asleep on the hardwood floor. She bent her neck trying to relieve the cramping feeling. Her eyes were still puffy from crying the night before. She sat up and rubbed at her eyes. She could feel the tangled mess her hair had become through the restless night and tried brushing her hands through it, failing when her fingers only managed to push the knots and tangles closer together. As she pulled her hands out from her messy hair her eyes caught sight of him asleep against the wall. His mouth was open and his head turned to what looked like it would be a rather uncomfortable angle. He would surely wake with a kink in his neck. Maybe she should wake him so that it would hopefully help his neck from kinking too bad. But she couldn't get herself to do it. He looked so peaceful, despite his position. She didn't want to take that peace away from him.

James had stayed with her through the night. He hadn't run when she confided in him like she had expected. When she had told him the nightmares about not only her past but her future. He hadn't run, but rather had chosen to stay the night with her, uncomfortable position and all. She was so grateful for that choice. As she starred at him she tried to understand how a father could be so cruel to his son, to beat him and blame him for circumstance so far out his control. Especially a son like James. And how James could leave a situation like that with hope, not pull into his shell and push other away. Even when the one person who should have loved him tried to take it all from him. Looking at the Deputy now, one would have never assumed he came from such dire circumstances. He was filled with joy and laughed, he joked often and was always smiling. He saw the best in the worst of times. How she wished she could be more like him, to come out of her own situation like him. But it had already taken away the light and joy she had once had inside. She had lost is long ago. She feared that it would never come back, even if she did escape from all of it.

Tony came galloping through the house with his hat on top of his messy black hair and a small star pinned to his night shirt. Natalia laughed at the site, he clearly had woken with excitement and was ready to start his day with his new friend. He hadn't even found the time to get properly dressed for the day. Maria would have a fit if she saw him running around the house dressed in his sleep ware, especially in front of guests. Truthfully Natalia couldn't care less what Tony wore so long as he was dressed, and she doubted James cared. But Maria came from a proper family, and living in the West hadn't taken that out of her yet, neither had living with Howard. She was determined to pass that etiquette on to her son no matter how hard he fought her on it.

Natalia had heard the James playing with Tony the night before. The two had run around the house chasing each other and pretending to be on horse back as they galloped around. Running between chairs and jumping over pillows and blankets. James had played right along with Tony, calling the blankets and pillows haybales or fences, as they dodged the "play time thieves" better known has Howard and Maria, who were trying to get Tony to get ready for bed. He would be an excellent father one day. And a wonderful husband to who ever was lucky enough to snag him.

Tony stopped in front of them confused as he starred at the two of them on the floor. "Why is Uncle Bucky sleeping? That's not a bed, and he's not in his bed clothes." Tony came forward and kicked at James foot before letting out a dramatic gasp and looking towards Natalia wide eyed, worry crossing his small face.

"Is he..." The little boy paused looking back at the Deputy against wall before he finished his sentence "...dead?"

A soft chuckle escaped the Deputy's mouth before he stretched his arms and sat up. He rubbed at his eyes trying to wipe the sleep from them, and tried to calm his hair by running a hand through it. This only managed to make his hair look even messier than it had before. "Not quite yet, Tony."

With a squeal of delight Tony jumped on the Deputy and proceeded to tell him all his plans for the day. Starting with breakfast and chores, going right into play time. Which of course James was expected to be a part of everything. Tony would not be doing anything alone today if he could help it. He was going to drag his new friend around all day.

Natalia sat back and watched the exchange between the two. James nodding along to the young boy's incredibly fast pace, the kid hardly stopped talking to take a breath and amazingly James was able to keep up with him and understand what he was saying. The deputy agreed to play but only if Tony did his chores willingly and with out a single complaint. "Why don't you go find your mother and help her get breakfast ready for everyone? After we eat and clean up we can play for a bit. Does that sound alright?"

Tony nodded and ran off towards the kitchen with a smile. Natalia knew Maria would be beyond grateful for the magic that James was working with her son. Like his father Tony only enjoyed working if it meant rewards would follow or if it was something he truly wanted. And James had a way of getting Tony to see reward in almost any task.

"Maria is going to have a hard time letting you go."

James shook his head and stood up, offering his right hand to her to help her up. She took the outstretched hand and let him pull her up. He pulled her closer and brushed away a strand of hair. His finger brushed across her skin for a moment and she could feel the sparks when it did. "Naw, he'd be sick of me in a week. Once you spend that much time with someone they become old news. Not quite as exciting after a few days. And he would start to catch on to me and my trickery. Didn't take Becca too long to catch on to me."

"You are so good with him." She shook her head confused, even with a younger sister Natalia didn't have half the patience James did with children. "How?"

Natalia had never really been around children aside from her younger sister. When she had it had been during ballet. Rules were very strict. There was no play, only dance. Playing was distracting, distraction did not provide results. Most of the time she had spent with her sister had been in ballet, so they rarely had time to play or grow together as sisters should. Tony had been the first real experience she had with children, the first time no one. While he was fun she didn't have the patience to deal with him for long. After only a few minutes she found he was getting on her nerves and she wasn't able to handle it well. It worried her that she would act that way with her own children in the future.

"When Steve's ma got sick I kind of took over raising him, he was sick a lot which meant I had to help him out a lot. And then my ma...." He trailed off "Pops wasn't very good at being a father before Ma passed, after he was even worse. And Becca needed help. So I took care of her too. You get pretty creative when you've got to entertain your little sister who's stuck in bed. 'Specially when you want to keep her mind off things." James gave a deep sign and nodded towards the kitchen.

"Whatever they are making smells delicious." James took in a deep breath and closed his eyes as he took in the aromas filling the house.

After several visits to the Stark household she knew pancakes and strawberry jam were a breakfast staple. One of the few breakfasts that Tony would eat with out complaining so Maria took full advantage of it. She generally added eggs and a side of fruit for others to enjoy. Tony would rarely touch the eggs and fruit on his own plate. On occasion she would also make strips of bacon or sausage to go with the meal.

"Breakfast!!!" The little boy came running into the room and tugged at James shirt trying to pull him into the dinning room. "I helped mama. We made pancakes and bacon! Mama said to come get you to eat, you gotta eat fast so we can play sooner! Pretty please!"

James laughed and dropped his hand to let the little boy grab and lead him away to the kitchen. Before Tony could pull him too far James grabbed Natalia's hand with his left lacing his fingers with hers. The feeling was awkward at first, the metal strips supporting his fingers made it hard to truly hold his hand. But the movement was so natural for him. No forcing it or concentrating to make it happen. It just happened like it was second nature, as if the last few days had no happened and he could move his arm like he had the rest of his life. It caused a smile to cross her face as she let him tug her along behind the young Stark.

The kitchen was a decent size, with a wood burning stove in the far corner. Pancakes filled a platter sitting on the table, true to Maria's style, a jar of homemade strawberry jam sat beside it along with a bowl of fruits and a pan with scrambled eggs. Bacon strips sat on a second platter and a tall pitcher sat filled with fresh water from the well.

Tony took his seat eagerly and immediately pointed at the chair beside him. "This one is for you Uncle Bucky."

The Deputy gave the boy a smile and pulled out the seat next to Tony, as well as the one beside it. He waited for Natalia to sit and pushed the chair back in. She wasn't used to such kind gestures. The men in her life were nothing like him. All they wanted from her was to take advantage of her. Take her for everything she was worth, at this point in her life her worth felt like nothing. But James was so different. He treated her with respect, he didn't care what she felt she was worth. She held so much worth in his eyes, worth he wasn't trying to take away from her. Instead he was trying to add to it, to try and make her see it. Even knowing what she had done he still treated her as a human. Even when he had kissed her, that had been it. There had been no push for more, no hidden intentions behind it. And every action after had been filled with love and kindness. So gentle. The last time any one had treated her with such care hand been in Russia. Her father had always treated his family with kindness. It had been something she missed immediately after leaving home.

Watching James with Tony she knew he would be nothing like his own father. He would love his children and his wife. He would break the chain of abuse. She still ached knowing his own father had beaten him. Broken him. Blamed him for the loss of their family. How James had been relieved to loose his father. She couldn't imagine how hard that would be as a child to endure. Her parents had not been perfect by any means, but they had done their best and they had loved her and her younger sister. Had tried to provide for them both, and give her a better life in America. Perhaps that was why she hadn't sent a letter since she arrived. The idea of telling them what happened to her and how she no longer was their innocent little girl. She couldn't do that to the only people left who truly loved her. Maybe they weren't the only ones left.

He and Tony played through the meal with James sneaking food in not only to his own mouth but Tony's as well. Natalia could see the pleasure in Maria's eyes. Tony was so willing to do what ever James suggested. He had willingly cleared the table after everyone finished their meal. Even now James had him sweeping the floor while pretending that the crumbs and dust were bad guys that needed to be swept away. Natalia had no doubts that James had done a wonderful job keeping Becca's mind occupied, even when she was likely dealing with feelings of nausea and pain. The girl had been lucky to have James as a brother.

"I don't know where you found him Natalia, but I love him." Maria joked as she watched the two running through the kitchen and dinning room. "For my own sake can you please keep him around? If you don't can I? I'll pay him whatever he wants. I could actually get some house work done with him around!"

Natalia chuckled and shook her head. "So you can have a babysitter? When ever you want? I think you would have to talk to him about that. He is convinced Tony would stop listening to him in a week or so."

Maria laughed and scrubbed at the jam stuck to what had been Tony's breakfast plate. "He really is a good one Natalia. The way he looks at you, he likes you. Something about him is different than most men. I may tease you about keeping him for my own sanity, but I don't think he would mind if you kept him around."

Natalia knew exactly what she meant. She had seen it in him since day one. If only she could figure out what exactly it was. "Yes he is..."

Chapter Text

The next three days passed similar to the first. Each day begun with a fantastic breakfast made by Maria. James was finding that he was growing quite fond of pancakes. Especially with the incredible strawberry jam Maria paired with them. He would have to find a way to convince her to send him home with some, as well as her recipe for the pancakes. He may not be the best cook, but he was sure something like pancakes he could handle. The meal was almost immediately followed by play time with little Tony. Chasing the young boy as he galloped through out the house, while tricking him into chores every now and then. When the boy would work on his schooling, James would head out to the barn where he and Howard worked on fine tuning his new arm accessory. But the best part came at the end of each night.

He and Natalia would find themselves sitting in the front room after the Starks had retired to bed for the night. They filled this time with stories from both their pasts. He enjoyed the time, generally keeping her close to him, her hands laced with his as they spoke. Every moment he spent with her left him wanting more. For once in his life, he felt completely happy, at peace. He knew it didn't make sense, the way they met, the circumstances. No one in their right mind would think it was a smart idea to fall in love with the woman who had caused him to get shot and then essentially kidnapped them, but he did. And he didn't care.

The small things of her past were what really drew him in. Her love of dancing, how she would get excited about something and slip into Russian, and the blush that would cross her face when she realized she had switched languages on him. Or when she would talk about her younger sister, Yelena. He could see how much she loved and missed the young girl. Yelena had been a part of the same ballet school as Natalia. Both had been offered a chance to come to America, but at the time her family could only afford to send one, they had chosen Natalia because she was older. She hadn't said it but James could see it in her eyes. She was grateful they could only afford for one. It had saved Yelena from the same nightmare she now lived in. James wondered though, if Dreykov had been so willing to pay for most of Natalia's journey, had he made the same deal later on? Offered to bring Yelena over, pushing the same narrative? Was she now living a similar life to her older sister? Trapped in the same cycle of horror? James didn't dare voice the concern. Natalia had enough on her plate to worry about. He couldn't add more to it.

James had shared stories of Steve and Rebecca, of their years growing up in Brooklyn. How they felt they ruled the world when they would run down those streets. How he could remember the streets like the back of his hand. Afternoons spent in the candy shop down the road from their apartments, Mr. Anderson would give them a piece each if they would sweep the floor or take out the trash. Stories of his family before the tragedy hit. Most of the stories came from before his mother left them and his father let everything loose. They had been a happy family, and he had told her how he wondered if his father would have still loved him had the tuberculous not killed his mother and younger sister, or if deep down the man had always resented him and he only kept it together so that his wife wouldn't find out how much he hated his own son. He told her how Steve had moved out to get help with his own poor health. James had been skeptical of it, this Doctor Strange offered odd treatments that had worried James. But looking back, it had been the right decision. And then Steve had convinced him to follow him down for a new start, to get away from the life he led in Brooklyn. And telling her about his life in Bandera since, how much he enjoyed his new job, and his own house. Laughed with her about Gwendolen, and the crush she had on him.

He had never felt this before. This desire to always be with one particular person, to give her every bit of happiness she deserved and to let her know every secret about him. To do what ever was necessary to make her life perfect. He enjoyed the nights he had been spending with her. The idea that he could spend every night in the future with her was very enticing. Learning more about her and sharing his own past. Aside from Becca and Steve, Natalia was the only person he had ever felt this comfortable with. The only one he was willing to open up to without second guessing it or censoring what he said to them. Even Peggy, as great as she was, had never been one he was comfortable opening up to. He had told her so little about himself, leaving her to fill in blanks or question Steve for more answers. She was Steve's partner and he knew eventually he would have to open himself up to her more than he had. After the wedding he'd likely not have much of a choice. She'd be as much a part of his life as Steve was.

The wedding... James quickly counted down on his fingers trying to figure out the date. If he was right it was only two days away. His best friend was getting married in two days. Instantly his mood dropped and he was grateful Tony had already gone to bed for the night, he wouldn't have had it in him to chase the boy around pretending to be enjoying himself with this thought now sitting on his mind. He would miss his best friend's wedding. A day he had promised he would be there for. One that he had been excited for, even if he didn't know Peggy well. He knew Steve was happy with her, and he had wanted to be there to witness their marriage begin.

"James?" Natalia's voice echoed from the entryway of the room and he managed a smile before turning to look at her. She stood just inside the room, her hair was loose curling around her face "Howard is leaving for New York tomorrow. He said for now your arm should be good, but he would like to see you again in about a month. He wants to begin work on stabilizing it for lifting and more intensive movements. He isn't sure how long that will take but he wants to get started on it sooner rather than later."

James nodded as the red head stepped in to the room. "Okay. That should not be a problem."

"Is everything alright? You seem disappointed?" Natalia stepped further into the room reaching for his good hand. It was much easier to hold her hands without the metal supports.

He nodded again as her slender fingers slipped into his own and gave a gentle squeeze. "All good. Just remembered Steve is getting married this week. I promised him I would be there. Looks like I will be breaking that promise."

Natalia bit down on the corner of her lip and shook her head. "You should go."

James looked at her completely baffled. He wasn't quite sure what he had expected but this was not it. She was telling him to go after kidnapping him? Surely she was playing with him. A cruel joke if she was.

"Natalia..."

"I'm serious James. You should be there." Her voice was soft. An ache could be heard as she spoke but she was clearly trying to cover it up. She was good at it, no doubt, but he could still hear it. "It's his big day. And he's your best friend, you can't miss it. You would never be able to forgive yourself for that. You'd never forgive me."

She was willingly letting him go? He didn't understand why. He had seen her hide out, he knew her operation. He knew her. She was letting him go but he wanted to stay, promise or not. He wanted to protect her from everything. Alexei and Dreykov especially. If he left now he had no idea when or if he would see her again. Or if they would find her first.

"You would want him to be there at your wedding wouldn't you?" She used her other hand to lift his chin so his eyes would meet hers, the smile on her face seemed so practiced and fake. She had many years of practice under her belt, she could play the happy "If you take Dante you could be there by tomorrow morning, afternoon at the latest. Then you would still have the evening to rest and get ready."

"Natalia..."

The words Natalia spoke didn't match the expression on her face. The plastered smile did little to hide the hurt in her eyes. The tough exterior she had put on when they first met had long since broken away. He could read her now easier than ever before, and he was so torn. On one hand she was right. Steve would want him there, and he wanted to be there for him and Peggy on their big day. On the other he felt she needed him more than they did, how could he abandon her now? She had talked briefly about Alexei taking payment each month. He knew it had to be coming soon and he didn't want her going alone. Especially knowing she had failed to get money during her last attempt. Admittedly he didn't know how much she needed, or how much she had, but a sinking feeling in his gut told him what she did have wasn't enough. He would happily give her what he had but it would require her coming with him to Bandera. Which seemed very unlikely.

"I can't... I can't leave you, not right now. What about Dreykov and Alexei? It's not safe for you. I can't let you go alone, not when you don't have enough." He placed his hands on both sides of her face keeping his eyes on hers. "They've hurt you enough. I won't let them continue to do so. It's not right, you don't deserve it."

"I'm a big girl James. I can handle myself. I've done it before. You forget, I've been doing this for four years now. These meetings are nothing new to me. I can handle them. Besides, there isn't much you could do to help. If they saw you their first action would be to kill you. And I can't handle that." Natalia reached up to take his hands from her face, and stepped back from him. Her voice dropped low and she gave his fingers a gentle kiss. "Howard said he would take care of everything free of charge. You won't have to worry about it. Just come in about a month. After that he will tell you how often he'd like you to continue returning. He's pretty sure he's invented the next big break in medical knowledge and he would like to keep it secret until he can get it working perfectly. I know it won't be easy to hide but maybe with winter coming it will help? I know you're used to Brooklyn winters so you probably think you won't need a coat in the winter here. But your body is getting used to the heat, once it begins to get colder you'll still find yourself wearing a coat."

"Do not change the subject." He said starring down at her. The change in topic had frustrated him. The fact that she thought he couldn't help her hadn't helped. They could talk about his arm later. He wasn't some banker or inn owner. He could handle himself just fine, and he could help her. Maybe it wasn't his normal thing, and maybe he wasn't as equipped as she was, but he was willing to learn. Letting her go into it alone made his gut wrench. "Don't do that to me. Don't brush me off like I can't help you. I know I'm not in your situation, I know I haven't dealt with it like you have. But I know what it's like to be lied to, to be hurt and broken by the very ones who promised to take care of you. The ones you trusted to give you a better life. I got out of it and I can help you out."

"James you can't!" Her voice rose, her accent following suit growing stronger with each phrase. "You got out because your father died. Not because you did anything special. You just waited for the old man to kick the bucket. I don't have that kind of luck, if one dies two more take their place, it doesn't end with Alexei. It probably doesn't end with Dreykov. You cannot help. Because I don't want you to. Okay? I don't want you any where near me or near them. This is my problem and I will deal with it how I choose to. I don't want to see you again. I was so close to my freedom and you and your pathetic little friends ruined it. I lost it and now I have two days to figure out how to pay them back. Do you understand how short of a time frame that is? How much I would need to get? Two days because of your friend's great plan! You don't understand and you never could. Just go. There isn't anything left for you here."

James stepped back feeling an ache in his heart begin to grow as her words cut deeper with each blow. He had grown to care for her. He had begun thinking about how to make a future with her work, he had been willing to do whatever it took to make it work. He was ready to give up the life he had made for himself in order to save hers. He had wanted to help her and he should have known better. She was doing what black widows did best. Kill their prey. But this time it was different. She wasn't leaving his body on the road. Just crushing his heart and telling him to get over it. Making him out to be fool for ever thinking he could have helped her. A fool for thinking they could have made things between them work.

"Natalia...." He stopped unsure what else to say, there really was nothing. In only moments she had taken what was between them and ripped it apart. There wasn't anything he could say at this point, she had made up her mind and she had made her decision very clear to him. The air around the two felt ice cold. Neither dared to look at the other.

"Just go James. Please."

Shaking his head he pushed past her heading to the room he had been staying in. He grabbed the coat laying on the corner of his bed and hastily shoved it on. He needed time to think. Maybe a walk would clear his head, it was too dark to travel now. Even though he wanted out of this house, didn't want to be around her any more. He couldn't risk the dark, he'd end up going the wrong way or prey to a pack of coyotes. He left through the back door not paying attention to where he was going. The Stark property was vast and he knew he wouldn't be bothering any neighbors.

His mind swarmed with the words she had said. Had she really meant it? Had that been what she thought the entire time they had been together? Why even bother keeping him alive? Why bother with bringing him here? Why give him hope only to rip it away from him? If that was how she really felt then he would go. If she didn't need him then he would leave her be. Deep down he knew he'd never forget. And doubted he'd ever get over her. She had offered him Dante but if he would be returning in a month one of Howard's horses would suit him just fine for his journey. At least this way he wouldn't have to see her again. He wouldn't have to face the feelings that would come with it. He could try to forget the past five days and get on with his life in Bandera. He could continue being Deputy of the boring little town, settle down with Gwendolen and start a family. Do what everyone expected out of a young man. But not if he were to face her again.

Chapter Text

Natalia bit back salty tears as she said the words. She didn't mean them, and she could only imagine how they would hurt him. Heaven knew they were hurting her. But they had to be said. She had taken the information of his childhood that he had so willingly trusted her with and used it against him to force him away. She didn't want him to go. She wanted him to stay more than anything. Thrown every dagger she could into his heart just to keep him safe. She wanted to believe him, that he could help her escape. But he couldn't and she couldn't risk him trying to. He meant to much to her to risk loosing him to the men who had already taken everything from her. The minute she dragged him in he would never escape, he would either die or be stuck like she was. She wouldn't loose the last ray of hope in her life to them, she just couldn't. She would do whatever it took to keep him hidden from them.

She stumbled back into the wall as he pushed past her. She watched as he left the room and marched down the hallway to the kitchen. The minute he was out the door she let the dam break and the tears flow. She sank to the floor burying her head in her knees. Her vision went blurry with tears as she held back sobs. She didn't dare let her cries out, she didn't want anyone to hear her. Especially James. If he heard he would come running back and know she hadn't meant a word that she said. Then he would never leave and she had to keep him away. She couldn't be mad at him for his reaction, she would have acted the same had the roles been reversed. But every inch of her ached, and hated what she had just done. She didn't want to let him go. The past five days had the best she'd had in years. She had finally felt safe, she hadn't felt that since she left her family in Russia. He had seen her darkest parts and had not only accepted them but had tried to bring light to them. Tried to find a way to heal them. And now she was forcing him out of her life. Forcing out the safety and the calm, replacing it with the life she hated so much.

James was the kind of man she had dreamed about ever since she was a little girl. The kind that roamed every little girls dreams, the kind she and Yelena would joke about falling in love with during the late hours of the night when they were young. The Prince Charming that would save her from her current dreadful circumstances. A man her father would have been proud of. The kind that would change his family legacy, provide for and love a family of his own. She had no doubts that he would make a lucky girl incredibly happy one day, she only wished that she could have been that girl. But she had just ruined any chance of that happening. Even if she hadn't surely James would have realized sooner or later that she wouldn't be good for him. Wise up and realize he was just in love with her because she was the only option then. Once he was back home that wouldn't be an issue.

She could remember the words of her mother years ago. Yelena and Natalia had been cuddled in her arms after listening to a bed time story. Yelena, always in love with the idea of love, had asked something about how mama had known papa was her 'prince' and how she knew she wanted to keep him forever. Her mother has responded by saying something about how one day they would kiss a man that they couldn't live with out. Each kiss would feel like fire rushing through their body, and would leave them wanting more. Papa was that man for her. Now Natalia feared James had become that man to her. She craved his smell, his embrace, his kisses.

She didn't sleep. She couldn't, every time she closed her eyes she envisioned his vibrant blue eyes filled with hurt and anger as he had pushed past her to leave. When she finally shuffled out of the room the next morning she saw Tony moping at the kitchen table and she knew why. James had left. He was gone now, and she didn't know if she would ever get the chance to see him again. But it was better this way, no awkward goodbyes or trying to pretend like nothing had happened while they were in front of the Starks. Neither one of them would be forced to watch the other go and pretend like it didn't hurt to do so.

Maria smiled and welcomed Natalia into the kitchen. "Howard got Dante ready for you before he left this morning, but you are more than welcome to stay as long as you need. Howard had to leave early for New York, he said if you decide to go for me to say goodbye for him. He also made sure I prepared you some food to take with you. It's on the table in a sack. He will probably be gone two weeks or so, but when he gets back he would love to have you back out, as well as your friend. He said he'd send word to him once he got back. Bucky left this morning as well. Said he had a wedding to attend?"

"He didn't take Dante?" She looked at the women questioning the words she had said. So that was it then, a part of her had offered Dante as a way to see him one last time. But he had found away around that. Frustration boiled up inside her, mixed with heart ache. James and his stupid determination. Determined to follow her words. Determined to stay out of her life because she had asked him to. There was no one she could be mad at but herself. She couldn't blame him for doing exactly as she had asked him to.

"No, he asked Howard if he could borrow one of ours since he would be coming back in a couple weeks anyways. It will be good for Epona. With Howard's work and Tony's schooling we just don't ride as much as we used to and I'm sure she's loving this. It has been so long since she got a good long ride. Besides we still have two more in the stable so letting him take one doesn't leave us stuck, and with Howard gone I don't have much to go out for at the moment anyways."

Now she wouldn't even get to see him to get her horse back. She had told him to take Dante for that reason. So she could at least see him one last time. To say goodbye, and apologize for it all. Attempt to at least give him some peace over the situation. Help him move on and start his life.

"Thank you Maria. You have been so amazing to me and Bucky, as always. I truly appreciate it." She tried to play it off as if nothing had happened between the two of them. Like James had just been a friend and she was just trying to help him out by bringing him here. She smiled and nodded towards Tony. "I'll miss you Tony. You promise to be good for your ma?"

"I already told Uncle Bucky I would be really good. He said if I'm good he will bring me a special treat next time! And he promised to stay at least two days so that we can have lots of time to play! I've got big plans for our play time. Lots of bad guys to catch." He spoke with a mouth full of strawberry covered pancakes. He gave a big smile before shoving in another bite, sticky red jam trickling down his chin and landing in his lap.

Natalia felt the familiar ache in his heart when his name was mentioned. She smiled at the boy and nodded "I'm sure he will be very happy to see you next month. I bet he misses playing with you just as much as you miss playing with him. He makes a very good play partner doesn't he?"

The little boy nodded quickly, brown hair flying around him. "He's the best."

Natalia ate a quick breakfast with the mother and son and helped them clean up the meal before she retreated back to the room she had been using to pack what few possessions she had brought with her. A coat, her dark hat, a pair of boots and her saddle bag. When she had first decided to bring James she had not intended on the trip being more than a couple hours. Those hours had turned into three days. Three amazing days. She had finally felt safe and happy. Now she would be forced to fall back into her old life full of uncertainty and fear.

She'd have to return to her old hide out and get the money before she made her way to meet up with Alexei in that old inn. She knew she didn't have enough. Bandera was supposed to give her the rest, and what she hoped would cover part if not all of next months. Now she was short for this month and would have to make up the interest next month. And Alexei would expect much more than just that. And he always got what he wanted.

Chapter Text

James led Epona through the familiar streets of Bandera. Dusted kicked up around his boots and the horse's hooves with each step. He watched it swirl around his feet, only to be kicked up again with the next step. He was unwilling to take his eyes off the ground, there wasn't much of a reason to. He had longed to return home in the beginning but now, he would have done anything to stay by her side. Bandera felt less like home now than it had when he first arrived.

He had left the Stark's home as soon as the light started creeping over the horizon that morning and pushed Epona hard to try and arrive early enough to avoid anyone. It was still early in the morning by the time he arrived, and he was only a block or so away from his home but he doubted he'd make it before someone caught site of him. He was lucky he had made it this far with out being caught. There was always some one awake in this dull town. Someone ready to spread the gossip as quickly as they could. His return would bring back the excitement of the failed robbery. Everyone would talk about it for another week, and every time they saw him they'd bring it up, asking a dozen questions even if they already knew the answer. That was what happened in small towns with nothing exciting to keep the people entertained. The moment something exciting did they didn't let it go until the next exciting thing came along. He'd be forced to remember it forever. Forced to remember her. Hopefully Steve's wedding would help get people off his back.

Even with out someone questioning him about the events he couldn't stop thinking about her. As he passed Martha's inn he could picture Natalia's bright red hair curling around her face. Framing her pale skin and emerald eyes. The contrast between the three was striking and oh so memorable. Trying to pull himself out of the memories he kicked at a pebble in the dirt and glanced up to make sure he hadn't missed the turn for his street. But it did nothing to help. He could hear her Russian accent in his ears, her sweet laugh as he told her of the things he and Steve used to do as children. Feel her delicate fingers slip in between his, her lips against his for the first time. All of it was so fresh on his mind.

"Deputy?" Gwendolen Stacy stood in the doorway of her mother's inn staring at him awestruck, she dropped the rag she had been holding and took a hesitant step towards him. That worked. Suddenly every image of Natalia washed away as he stood in the middle of the pathway staring at the blonde trying to think of something to get him out of there faster. She rushed down the stairs from the porch towards him and he shook his head stepping back.

"Mornin' Miss Gwendolen." He muttered as he continued on his way tugging at Epona's straps to keep her on course towards his home, as well as trying to pick up the pace to get away from Gwendolen faster. He stepped to the side just in time to avoid her pulling him into a hug. He couldn't help but feel grateful he had missed the young woman's attempt. The last thing he wanted was a hug from anyone but Natalia.

"Where have you been? The whole town has been worried sick about you! The bank, and the Black Widow.... Deputy we thought you were dead... Steve and the others, they have been searching non stop to find you. I can't believe this... We have to tell Steve! Oh he will be so happy to see you again. The poor man has been up since she took you!" Gwendolen followed close behind him as her questions rattled off one by one. Her footsteps fell in sync with his own as he neared the corner that would take him to his small house.

"Well I'm not." He shook his head trying to ignore her. All he wanted was to get home. Drink some whiskey and take a very long nap, then he had to talk to Steve. Let him know he was okay and that he better not have postponed the wedding. He was exhausted. He ached. Not just his muscles, but his heart. He needed time to forget about it. Even if it was temporary. "Gwendolen, I appreciate the concern, I do. It's very kind of you to care but I really just want to sleep on my own bed please. I promise I'll answer your questions later, I just need to rest."

She started to speak again but he ignored her continuing on. Now that she knew the whole town would know within the hour and would likely be waiting outside his house filled with questions. He just wanted to be alone. He wasn't in the mood to deal with them. Not right now. He needed time to adjust back to life in Bandera. Back to being the Deputy, and to taking care of the town as well as it's people. Back to being alone.

James rounded the corner and could see his small home only two doors down. It hadn't changed since he'd left, although some one had clearly been there to feed his horse. Yukon was a good horse, James had purchased him after he arrived in Bandera from the Barton family. He was a young horse with a lot of energy, and did just fine out in the open. James was glad to see some one had taken care of him, and he had no doubt it had been Steve or Peggy. He would have to make note to thank them later today. He led Epona into the small stable behind his house where he had kept Yukon. It would be a tighter fit for two horses but better than spending the night outside. Yukon immediately perked up and giving a delighted neigh as he tried to nuzzle James. He pulled off the saddle and straps from Epona's back and laid them across one of the stalls before stepping over to Yukon and rubbing his nose.

"Hey pal, I promise I'll take you for a ride later today. For now I brought you some company. She probably costs about five times what you did so don't do anything stupid 'right?"

Talking to a horse, his father would have laughed at him and told him how stupid he was for it. Truthfully when he had purchased the horse he had expected him to be just that. A horse. He had not expected to grow close to the stallion, to treat him like a friend. Yukon had been patient with James as he learned to ride and take care of him. He couldn't have asked for a better horse, and he was happy to converse with him, even if he couldn't respond the same way that another human would. He was a great listener. James had spent countless hours talking to Yukon about the things going on in his life. After the events he had just lived through there would be many more hours of one sided conversations to come.

Leaving the horses to mingle he moved towards the small building that had become home over the last eight months. He pushed open the door and dropped his coat on the ground. Leaning against the wall he pulled off his boots and ripped them next to the coat. His hat sat on the kitchen table on top of the vest he had left at the bank, along with his blanket folded nicely beside the hat and vest, along with the set of playing cards he had brought with him for his stay at the bank. He chuckled and shook his head. Only Steve would have been kind enough to return them for him, any one else would have forgotten about it or brought it home with the intent to return it but never actually getting around to doing it.

James had just sunk into one of his kitchen chairs with a piece of dried jerky and a glass of water when he heard the knock on the door. He groaned and let his head fall back, not wanting to stand up and answer it but the person behind it didn't wait for James to get up and answer, they pushed the door in and stepped into the room. The tall blonde filled the doorway. He moved into the room to shut the door behind him.

"Buck?" Steve's voice came from the sitting room filled with confusion, and Bucky managed a smile as he looked up at his best friend. The blonde had deep circles under his eyes, his clothes were wrinkled and his hair was a tangled mess. Bucky couldn't recall the last time he had looked like this. He was always looking his best now. He almost resembled the sick little kid from Brooklyn. Give or take a couple inches and a hundred pounds or so. He knew he had been the cause of it. His friend clearly hadn't slept much and Bucky had no doubts it had been because of him. If he could keep this conversation short maybe his friend could get some rest and be prepared for tomorrow.

"Hey Steve. You look exhausted." He stood up to greet his friend. Steve embraced him with a tight hug and Bucky grunted when Steve's hand hit his left shoulder. Most of the lingering pain was gone, the stitches were helping speed along the healing process but the slap still caused quite a bit of pain to ripple through his shoulder and upper chest. "Careful please, still got a bullet hole I'm healing from."

"You come back to town and don't even bother to tell me? I had to find out from Abigail. You idiot. I've been worried sick! I've been searching everyday, least you could have done was tell me in person! I am going to kill you Buck. I can't believe this." Steve pulled back from the hug looking at Bucky's arm. Bucky had rolled his sleeve up finding it was easier to work with the metal attachment if it didn't have much fabric covering it. The fibers seemed to catch in the gears and jam it up. It was an easy fix but even easier to avoid. Steve's eyes filled with confusion as he looked it up and down.

"What is that?" Bucky could hear the inflex in Steve's voice and the confusion in his eyes. It was understandable, after all it was a pretty odd thing to see. Most people didn't walk around with metal bars strapped to their arms. If they did they probably did a better job at hiding it than James did because he hadn't ever seen anyone wearing one.

"A lot has happened Steve. I was gonna tell you, I swear. I just needed time to rest, and figure it all out. I'm exhausted. It's been a really crazy week for me and I'm not really sure how to deal with it all. Or how to process most of it honestly." Bucky honestly wasn't sure how he could explain everything to Steve, and had hoped for a couple hours to figure it all out. How was he supposed to tell Steve that the Black Widow wasn't as bad as she seemed? Or that he had met Howard Stark and now wore one of his inventions? How was he supposed to explain that despite being free all he wanted to do was go back...

"I'm sorry. I tried. I really tried. We looked everywhere Buck. I'm sorry." Steve muttered shaking his head. He pinched the bridge of his nose and but down on his lip. "We couldn't find a trail, we had no idea where to look... I spent hours out looking but there was nothing to follow."

"It's okay Steve. Really it's fine. I understand trust me. She's good. She doesn't leave a trail. I know that just as much as you do. Don't worry about it." He sat back down in his chair and retrieved his jerky. "Just please tell me you let Adam have it. Heaven knows he deserved it."

Steve grabbed another piece of the jerky and a bottle of whiskey from one of the cupboards before he took the chair across from Bucky confused. "Have it? For what?"

"For shooting me." He shrugged and tore off a piece of the dried meat. Steve's eyes widen and he sat foreword.

"Adam shot you? They all said it was the Widow... We believed them, I mean it made sense logically that it would have been her. Buck what happened?"

Bucky let out a snort, that sounded just like Adam. Blame some one else for his mistakes. The guy could never accept the consequences of his actions. "Of course he did. He couldn't even admit that he shot me. And he got everyone else to agree with him. I'm gonna kill him next time I see him, should kill everyone who agreed to tell that stupid lie."

He rubbed his forehead as he began to tell Steve the events that had happened over the past few days. He tried to skim over what he had learned of Natalia but found it was hard to do. He wanted Steve to understand why she was doing what she was doing, he wanted him to be willing to forgive her and accept the reasons just as he had. But wasn't sure how much of it was his story to tell, and if he didn't tell the whole story he doubted Steve would truly understand her actions, if he didn't understand her actions he would never understand Bucky's feelings. Not that Bucky understood them himself.

"Alright let me get this straight-" Steve said trying to fully understand what had happened. "Adam was the one who shot you, and then the Widow used you as a bargaining chip to get out. She not only kept you alive, but took care of you? Saved your life? And your arm? You couldn't feel it or move it until you got this thing from Howard Stark? And then she just let you go? It's all a little out there don't you think? I mean the Black Widow doesn't just let people go. That's not in her character."

Bucky nodded and shrugged as he grabbed the whiskey and took a drink. "I know. Trust me, I know. I wish I could say it was all a dream or some child's made up story, But I swear it's all true. Every bit of it as wild and out there as it sounds. I honestly don't think I could make it up if I wanted to.

He didn't mention his feelings, he didn't tell Steve he had kissed her, more than once. Or that she had forced him to leave. That even though she had told him to go, he hadn't wanted to. He couldn't explain it to Steve, he couldn't even explain it to himself. She had forced him out of her life, and feeling on it wouldn't help him any.

"Why didn't you take her down? You were with her almost a week. I get the first couple days, you needed time to rest and heal. But what stopped you later? When you had the strength back? I don't understand."

"I-I don't know. As I got to know her, I just couldn't. She's nothing like her reputation Steve. Everything she's done, it's not because she wants to do it. She has no choice. She's in some real trouble. Trouble that she doesn't deserve, it's not her fault she's in it. She was lied to and taken advantage of. She was taken from her family, told a lie in order to use her... She needs help. I think I can help her, but she just won't let me. And I don't know where she's going or what to do anymore. I thought when I got away I'd be able to stop thinking about her, that I could forgot about this whole experience and move on. Be proud I helped the town, and happy its over. But I can't... I'm not happy it's over. I wasn't ready to leave. I can't move on. I-"

"You love her." Steve cut him off with a smirk on his face as he held the whiskey to his lips. He looked like he was about to laugh, not the reaction Bucky had been expecting. He seems understanding of the situation, as if he believed him just like that. "After years of taking nice young girls out on a date and then never talking to them again you finally fall in love with someone and she's a wanted thief. I have to admit, I never saw that one coming. I always knew who ever you fell in love with would be one spirited young woman, some one ready to live an adventurous life. I mean she'd have to be to keep up with you, but a thief? Not exactly what I had pictured. Funny enough though, it fits."

Bucky dropped his eyes shaking his head. Love? Hardly. He couldn't be. Enjoyed the woman's company? Yes. Wanted to spend more time with her? Absolutely. But love? He couldn't be, not yet. And then there was her actions last night...

"I'm not in love. It was five days. That's hardly enough time to even get to know someone. You can't fall in love that fast." Bucky took a deep breath shaking his head and dropped it into his right hand. "Besides, even if I was, it's not like she wants me around."

Bucky placed his head in his hands and bit down on his lip, he couldn't hold it back any more. He had to tell someone. "I wanted to help her. I wanted to get her out of this situation and give her the life she deserves. Protect her... I was ready to give her everything... She pushed me away. I was ready to do whatever it took to get her out."

As he spoke Bucky could the truth of Steve's words sinking in. He did love her. He wanted her in his future. But that didn't matter now. Steve nodded his head smiling softly.

"And you can't stop thinking about her. That's exactly how it starts Buck. I knew I wanted to marry Peggy after a day."

"I could if you'd stop asking me about her." Deciding it was time to change the subject, he needed to get passed her, Bucky asked "What about the wedding?"

Steve shrugged "Peggy and I decided to push it off until you got back. You're my best friend, and you should be there."

"I'm back now. Just tell me what time I need to be ready by and I'll be there. You two have waited long enough for this day."

"Buck we don't have to, we can wait a couple days. You need sometime to rest and heal."

"Steve, your wedding will keep the town off my back for a day or two. I need that so much more than I do rest."

Steve let out a loud laugh and nodded his head. "Now that you are probably right about. I'll let Peggy know tonight. Think you can be ready by Eight?"

"I'll be there." Bucky gave Steve a smile as the blonde stood to leave.

Chapter Text

*** WARNING ***

Implications of Rape

* translated from Russian*

Gold and silver coins lay scattered around her, only moments earlier they had been staked into neat piles to help make the counting easier. But it didn't matter how neatly she arranged the coins, there simply wasn't enough. In her frustration she had knocked them to the ground. Scattering them across the floorboards, there was just over half the amount needed to pay for this months dues. The other half still sat in the vault of the Bandera Town Bank. She didn't have time to plan and execute another job, after the way Bandera had gone she would need an air tight plan the next time around and there was no way she could do that in less than a day. And she knew no matter how much she begged or explained they wouldn't care. Her arms wrapped around her stomach dreading what the afternoon would bring. Alexei would be so happy. He would give that devilish grin she had grown to know all too well over the years. The one that made her blood boil and her stomach ache. The one that would make her do anything to get away from him.

Natalia had left Howard's remote home only an hour or so after breakfast. Tony had protested, saying he was bored and wanted her to play cowboys with him. Maria had understood though. She had seen Natalia and James together. Had seen how they interacted. And she could see how James leaving had hurt Natalia, even if she didn't know that Natalia had forced him to leave. Maria had comforted Tony telling him Natalia and James would both be back soon and they would spend plenty of time playing cowboys with Tony upon their return. It had cheered the young boy up some. Not enough to stop him from trying to get her to stay one more time.

Immediately after leaving the Stark's she had returned to her small lonely hideaway. She didn't care if James had everyone there waiting for her. At this point she had so little left to care about, it didn't matter any more. If they had been waiting for her at least then she could have gone somewhere safe for a few days. Until Alexei found her, and then it would simply start over once again. Or maybe it would finally end. That would be a blessing in disguise she was sure.

Once she had arrive home she gathered what money she had from each of the hiding spots. Including what she used to pay her way through life. She usually kept a small portion of each robbery, just enough to keep her going. Get food, the occasional sleeping accommodation, bullets. it was not much but she would had to sacrifice it this time. Once she had gathered the money she focused on her few possessions. It was time to leave this little hide out in search for a new one. Time to move from this area and start on a new one. Part of her longed to try running away again. Maybe she make it work this time. No more stealing, or pretending. Just getting to live life. The other part longed to run back to James. Curl up in his arms and pretend none of this existed. Maybe she could convince him to run away with her. Start a new life far away. They could go to the west coast. The gold rush was certainly bringing many. No one would notice two more. They could start a family, grow old, and be with each other far away from her past.

But Natalia knew it would never work. Even if she could convince James to run away with her and give up his life in Bandera. Even if she could, nothing she could do would end this torture early. They had found her once, and had made it very clear that finding her again would be no issue for them. She had no idea how they had done it, but it didn't matter. There was no where she could run to that they wouldn't soon follow. No matter where she went she would always have the fear of them finding her one day hanging over her, she would constantly fear that today would be the day. She would have to accept the consequences of failing her mission and do better next time. Next time there wouldn't have James to distract her. She could get what she needed and be gone. She wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

Natalia now stood in the all too familiar meeting place the bag gripped tightly in her hands. She had met here once a month for the past 4 and half years. The little inn was nothing like Martha's. The atmosphere was cold and unwelcoming. Cobwebs littered the corners and ceiling, and dust covered almost every flat surface of the room beside the check in desk. She had only seen other patrons a handful of times. It made the cold room feel even more unwelcoming. The silence crept in from every corner. As much as she had hated Gwendolen's obnoxious talking that day, she now longed for it, and the warm bath and food that had followed it. Anything to distract her from the coming minutes.

The tall board shouldered Russian walked through the door a smirk on his face. He walked with pride, he was a man who knew what he wanted and exactly how to get it. His dark blonde hair was greasy and unkempt. His face littered in scars from battles won years before. His voice was low and held an edge to it. * "My little ballerina, you look so sad. Now why is that?" *

He traced his thumb across her chin and lips. She dropped her face and jerked back trying to get away but he grabbed her wrist stopping the movement. The Russian man didn't wait for her to respond before dropping his eyes to the bag in her hands. *"What did you bring me today little one?" *

She tossed the bag at his feet, keeping her eyes down. She knew better than to meet his greedy eyes. His presence alone was enough to crush her. To break away the outer walls she had put up for her own protection. Walls she had been forced to put up because of him. In him hid her greatest fear. The monsters under her bed as a child held nothing when compared to Alexei. Those monsters had turned out to be figments of her imagination. He was very real. And within him was a much greater monster than any child could dream.

He leaned down to pick up the worn bag and tossed it from hand to hand. Alexei shook his head, clicking his tongue. The cracked lips on his face turned into a wicked grin as he did so. He tossed the bag to the side and shook his head. * "Oh little spider I don't think this is enough." *

* "Dreykov will be so disappointed in you little ballerina. Me on the other hand..." * He grabbed her wrist once more and pulled her to him. He slid a hand through her hair before grabbing a fistful and yanking her head back. She hated when he called her that. A painful reminder of the reason she was here in the first place. A reminder of what she would never have.

She could feeling his breath next to her right ear before he spoke again * "You're mine now and you always will be." *

Natalia could feel the tears welling up as she struggled to push away from him. His grip on her hair tightened and he used his other hand to slap her across the face. His gold ring breaking through the skin. She flinched trying once more to pull away but the grip on her wrist was too strong, the attempt to break away was only met with his fingers tightening and a loud snap.

She screamed out in pain when he broke her wrist and dropped to the ground cradling her arm against her chest. He stood above her smirking down at her. Natalia knew getting away wasn't going to happen. All she wanted to do was blackout. Forget everything that was about to happen to her. Or never wake.

* "It's all I have. I-I couldn't get the rest. There wasn't time. I can get it, I just need a couple more days please. The towns are starting to fi-"* Another slap across her face and she could feel hot blood flowing from her nose onto her lips. She wiped the blood away with her good wrist fighting back sobs from the pain and fear. They would do nothing but cause more pain to her. He relished in her weaknesses showing throw. Played on them to make her fear him more. If that were even possible.

* "Dreykov doesn't ask for excuses from you. He asks for results. Which you have failed to produce." * Alexei forced her to her feet once more. His arm slithered around her waist to pull her against him. His lips were only inches from her own and she could smell the vodka on his breath, and the stench of something else. She couldn't place it, but it reeked. It reminded her of the rotting animal carcasses she had come across in her journeys. She tried once more to get away, she had to. If she didn't she would be subjected to what ever his plans were. Using every bit of force she could muster to push herself away from him and his fowl breath. Alexei responded by shoving her to the ground, her head slammed against the corner of a wood table and before she even hit the ground everything went black.

Natalia woke in a daze. She could feel dried blood across her face and matted in her hair. Her entire body ached. She pushed herself up and groaned against the pain. Bruises of various shades and color covered most of her body. Her right wrist was swollen, the slightest movement causing sharp pains to ripple through her arm. Gently she lifted up her shirt to reveal a rainbow of colors across her ribs to match her arms and legs. Biting her lip against the pain she slowly stood up, immediately she reached foreword to grab something to steady herself. Her head swam and she felt so dizzy. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep, to rest her sore body. But not here. She needed to get somewhere safe. She stumbled towards her coat and hat, on top sat a crumbled piece of paper with Russian written across her. Heart heart sank as she read the words. A task she could never complete.

'One week. Full payment. Last chance. No excuses this time.'

Staggering to Dante she swung on to his saddle and urged him to go. She slumped over on the saddle. Exhausted she tried to keep her eyes open and focused on where she was going. She wasn't entirely sure where that was until she saw the small town of Bandera on the horizon. James... He would be there.

She was unsure how he would react to seeing her again considering how she had pushed him away only days before. But she didn't care any more. She was so broken and beaten, not just physically but emotionally. She needed time to recover in a place she felt safe. He was her safety. She had known that from the very first kiss. If only she could get him to forgive her. He didn't have to treat her like before, didn't have to kiss her or even touch her. She just hoped he would take her in, even for a night.

The town was dark and quiet, most of the residents having gone to bed for the night. Some of the homes still had flickering lights that could be seen, but for the most part they were dark. The homes all looked so different and she wasn't entirely sure which one was James'. Judging by size she moved to a section of the town with smaller homes. There was one on the edge, a small dwelling. It looked to be one bedroom with a stable out back. It made sense. He had mentioned he owned a horse and lived towards the edge of town hadn't he? Or was she making that up because she wanted to lay down?

Dante stopped just outside the stable and in a movement filled with pain Natalia swung herself off and led him in. Seeing Epona standing next to an unfamiliar chestnut colored horse told her she had been correct, no imagination this time. There was food in the trough and water for the horses. Enough that Natalia didn't bother for the night, she could fill it tomorrow if Dante ate too much of it. She shut the gate to keep the horses in and moved to the home. He steps were slow and deliberate, careful to avoid causing her pain. She kept her right arm tight against her chest. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip, her left fist clenched against the pain.

She knocked twice and waited but when no answer came she tried the handle. The door swung open and she stepped in from the brisk outdoor air. The open room was chilly, not much warmer than the weather outside, but she didn't mind. It felt safe and welcoming. Immediately she shut the door and stood in he room looking around for any sign that he was home. The fireplace was empty, and the home was dark. She couldn't tell the layout for certain but she thought there was a door. Her tired limbs ached and begged her to lay down, anywhere.

"James?" She called out to the darkness. She waited for a bit before sink onto the small sitting chair near by, huddling under her thick coat. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing while she waited for him to return home.

Chapter Text

James walked into his home late. He had been filling in for Steve while he was away on his honeymoon. They had only gone a few towns over and Steve had told James if he needed him he would be there. But James was determined to let the man enjoy his honeymoon in peace. He deserved it. He had spent almost a week with little to no sleep looking for James. Least James could do for him was give him a couple days off to enjoy his new life with his bride. Filling in meant pretty much nothing. Nothing happened in Bandera. A few drunks stumbled around after dinner and James got them home. Miss Nancy claimed the neighbor stole her cat, again. The cat was found on her own bed until a pile of tangled yarn. If only they could have said that it was the first time that was where the cat had been found. Or the first time Miss. Nancy had accused some one of stealing her annoying cat.

Tonight had been slightly different with old Mr. Sampson blaming Clint for stealing one of his horses. It had take two hours to convince the aging man that the horse was in fact the same one he had sold to the Barton family six months back. But really it was nothing new or exciting. Just plain old Bandera. Adjusting back to life here hadn't been as bad as he had expected. He kept his distance from others a bit more, especially those who had been present at the bank. Adam hadn't dare spoken to him since his return. For that James was glad. They both knew if Adam came close he would be lucky if all he walked away with was a black eye. Keeping his distance from the man was for the best. But Gwendolen seemed to have a renewed determination to get James to fall in love with her. James had no desire for that. After the last week he was convinced he would be better off dying alone then trying to put himself out there again.

But the girl just wouldn't leave him alone. Trailing him home each night, or showing up with food at his door or at the Sheriff's office. She was driving him nuts. He was grateful for the food, but she stuck around watching him eat. It was to the point he was refusing to eat any of the food claiming he was too busy, making up excuses as to why he couldn't sit down and eat at that moment. All he really wanted was for her to leave him alone but she didn't seem to understand that no matter what he said to her. Tonight he had left out the back door and taken the back roads to get home just to avoid her. He was so tired of constantly being followed by her. Tired of her questioning him about the last week, or what his plans for the future were.

His house was dark from the outside, unwelcoming and cold looking, but that was to be expected. With no one home it would have been more concerning to find a candle or the fire place lit. He knew it would be cold inside and he'd have to light the fireplace in his room quickly if he didn't want to freeze tonight. One of the downsides of returning home late at night. At least earlier in the evening he could have started the fire to keep the warm in the home all evening and leading into the night. Now he would have to hope it warmed up enough that his toes didn't freeze for the first portion of the night.

He pushed the door closed before he pulled off the leather gloves he had worn the past few days to keep his new addition hidden. He tossed them onto the table he kept next to the door for his hat and coat. The town's people had asked him enough questions about the last week he didn't want to add more fuel to the fire, and he knew Howard wanted to keep it hidden for as long as possible. He'd have to ask him next time he went if he had any better ideas on covering it up. For now the gloves and jacket weren't awful, but come spring and summer they would be tough to wear all day. If he had thought summer was hard this year, next years would be much worse if they didn't figure something out by then.

Fumbling around until he found his lantern he set it on the dinning table and lit it. He turned to drop his coat and hat on top of the gloves. That was when he saw her huddled on his small sitting chair in the corner. Her dark coat was pulled over her small frame. Bright hair poking out over the edges. She looked as if she had fallen asleep there but she was stirring now and beginning to stretch. The movement to do so looked like it was causing her quite a bit of pain. Each movement she made was slow and deliberate.

Her left eye was swollen shut, a trail of crusted blood ran from her malformed nose down to her cracked lips. Her hair was tangled, bruises of various sizes and colors covered her cheeks and arms, If James was a betting man he would say there would be matching bruises across her chest, stomach, and legs. Tears streamed down her face but she didn't wipe them away. Her right wrist was swollen to twice it's normal size. Every muscle in James body was furious, he was ready to kill some one. Seeing her like this, it was wrong. Some one had done this to her and they needed to pay.

"Natalia?" He whispered quietly as if he couldn't believe it. It had to be a trick of his mind, but why would he imagine her like this? Injured, in pain, weak? No. This was real. He dropped the coat to the floor beside him and moved quickly to close the distance between them. The Widow nodded unable to say anything as more tears streamed down her face, falling off her chin to the floor. He wasted no time pulling her off the chair and into his arms. He tightened them around her, afraid to let her go. He had let her go once and she had returned to him bruised and broken. He wasn't about to let that happen ever again. "What happened? Who did this to you?"

He feared he already knew the answer as she struggled to get the words out. She hadn't told him much of them, but they were the only ones who could do something this terrible to someone and not feel bad about it. "I didn't know where else to go... I couldn't go to Howard's, and I didn't want to go back to my place. I didn't want to be alone. I was scared Alexei would follow me and I couldn't do it a second time. I just couldn't. I'm sorry. I'm so sor-"

"Hey, hey don't apologize. There's nothing to apologize for." He placed his hands on the sides of her face, careful to avoid any bruises. He gently pushed her matted hair away from her eyes and shook his head, begging her to believe him. He wasn't angry she was here. He wasn't mad she had broken into his home, all he wanted was to protect her and make them pay for ever laying their hands on her. He was grateful she had trusted him enough to know he would keep her safe. "Tell me what happened."

Natalia's body shuddered with sobs as she spoke. "I didn't have the money. I tried to explain that, but Alexei, he didn't care. He said Dreykov didn't want excuses just results. He threw me to the ground and I blacked out. I don't know what happened after that... I can't do it anymore. It's not possible James. I lost..."

Everything she had been holding back came out in that moment. Her knees gave out and she crumpled to the ground, cradling her arm. James had not been expected the extra weight and fell to the floor with her. Quickly he pulled her onto his lap tightening his grip around her. With her good hand she gripped his shirt collar and buried her head into his chest. Her sobs shook her entire body and James found himself struggling to contain his anger.

"Let me help you. Please." He whispered gently as he stroked her hair, trying to calm her and give her some sense of safety and peace. The woman he held now was so different than the one he had met in the bank. That day, only about a week ago, now felt like months ago. They had both been through so much since then, and had seen sides of each other no one else had. Natalia had dropped walls, every mask she had once used was gone when she was around him. This was the real Natalia. The child that had grown up against her will. Between sobs she shook her head.

"They will kill you James. I can't loose you to them. You're all I have left." She buried her face in his chest, her uninjured hand gripped at the fabric of his shirt. James closed his eyes muttering a silent prayer. He wouldn't let her go this time, no matter how hard she fought or pushed for him to. She was his to protect and he had failed once. He wouldn't do it again.

"If I don't they will kill you. Natalia, I'm not asking anymore." He brushed away the scarlet hair and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "It's my turn to help you. I won't loose you again, especially not to men like them. They have no right to take you."

He stood taking her good hand and pulling her up slowly. He led her to his small bedroom and helped her onto the bed. She curled up cradling her right arm and started at the blank wall to the side of the bed. He pulled a blanket up around her and gave her cheek a soft kiss. She didn't move or react to the kiss. She just lay there staring at the wall.

"I'm going to get some water and rags to clean you up. Don't move please."

He knew he likely wouldn't have to worry about her moving but it just seemed right. He left the young woman alone in the bed to rummaged through his cabinets for rags and a bowl of water. He grabbed an old shirt to rip up and use for bandages as well as a wooden spoon. On his way back to the bedroom he spotted Natalia's small saddle bag next to the chair and grabbed it searching through its contents until her found the clear bottle. He slipped it into his pocket. He would set out a shirt for her to change into when she felt better. Her current one was ripped and covered in blood and dirt. He knew how it felt to be stuck in blood crusted clothing and he wanted to help ease her situation in every way he could. Even if the shirt would drown her.

Upon his return to the room he left everything on the nightstand and lit the fire. Natalia lay in the same fetal position staring at the wall. He waited for the flames to start eating at the wood steadily before he stood to care for Natalia. The warmth slowly began to start seeping into the room, warming the cool air around the two.

He sat beside her and gently took her bad arm. She winced with the movement and her teeth dug into her chapped lips. He couldn't say for certain but it seemed Alexei had fractured the bone. The bone didn't feel out of place or flexible thank goodness. He wasn't too concerned with setting it perfectly because of that, but he knew it needed something sturdy to keep it from bending and to prevent it from beginning to heal improperly until he could get her the right help. He grabbed the spoon and the bandages and wrapped the utensil tightly against her skin. Natalia closed her eyes letting tears flow down her cheeks as he worked. Doctor Strange could help her in the morning, he just needed to give her enough to get through the night. For now she needed sleep. She needed to recover from the day and try to forget what had happened. In the morning they would decide what to do for her arm, and how to break her free from her abusers.

Silently he began to peel the matted hair from the dried blood and wash the red from her face. As he washed it away he could several small lacerations across her face along with varying shades of purples, blues, and greens. He dropped the dirty rags in a bowl when he finished he took the bottle of vodka from his pocket and placed it on the nightstand. Her words stood out in his mind from that first night. 'It numbs the pain.' Hopefully it could do just that for her. He placed a kiss on her cheek and stood to leave the room so she could sleep. He would stay in the sitting room just outside the door, but first he wanted to double check that the windows were locked and that she would be safe in the room alone.

"Stay please." She whispered her eyes still closed. He didn't hesitate to obey her request. He laid beside her and she rolled over to bury her face in his chest. Her small frame fit perfectly in his arms. Take the broken bones, blood, and bruises out of it and this would have been his dream come true. "Please don't leave me."

James obeyed, and sat back on the bed, wrapping his arms around her and kissed her forehead. He knew how it would look if anyone saw them but the curtains were drawn and his only intentions now were to be there to protect her and give her a sense of comfort. If she wanted him to stay he would stay and that was the end of it. "I won't. I promise."

As she began to drift off to sleep in his arms he let the words he had longed to say fall of his lips. "I love you Natalia."

They came out as a whisper with his lips pressed against her skin, but he meant them. It didn't matter they had only known each other for a few days. He loved her. Maybe Steve had a point. He knew he would marry Peggy by the end of day one. Loving some one after a week couldn't be that crazy could it?

Chapter Text

James had spent the night in the same bed as her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. She had felt safe with him beside her. Like no one could hurt her there. She hadn't wanted the night to end. Ultimately she didn't want to leave his arms. The only word she could use to properly describe the feeling was home. She felt at home with him. He had told her the night before he loved her, and she knew she felt the same way about him. She hadn't been able to say it then, but the minute he said the words she knew. Funny how feelings could change in such a short amount of time. A week to one may not have been long enough to know but to her it was more than enough time.

He had left early in the morning to take care of things at the sheriff's office. He told her he was going to try and convince someone named Barton to take over for the rest of the day but he wasn't sure how long it would take to get him on board. He had promised to come back for lunch. Natalia agreed to stay in with curtains drawn and keep the noise down. She knew she didn't want to draw attention to herself. Or let anyone know that James had company, especially female company. She knew all too well how fast rumors could spread in small towns. And she was sure he had enough of those going around now with his sudden return, questions surrounding his arm, and how he was recovering. Who had helped him, why he didn't let any one see it, did he want revenge on the Widow? How had he escaped? Where was she now? She didn't need to add to them. And she didn't need to risk anyone recognizing her.

She had tried to wash her hair, to rid it of the rest of the dried blood, but with only one hand she had not found much success in the action. It was hard to reach all of it and harder to brush out the tangles with her fingers. She was beginning to understand how James must have felt after the robbery attempt. Although for him she was sure it had been much worse than what she was experiencing now. He had lost all feeling, and even now while he had limited feeling most of the movements he made weren't entirely from him. With out the assist of the Iron arm he could hardly move his fingers at all. The new understanding brought back the pain she felt knowing it had been her fault that he had wound up with a bullet lodged in his left shoulder. But the selfish side of her was grateful for it.

She had come to the decision that she would make lunch and ask James if he could help her finish washing her hair in his sink upon his return. Perhaps she could even convince him to buy a hair brush. Nothing fancy, she didn't need a ivory brush or anything like that but something to help get through her thick locks would be nice.

She was now standing in his moderate sized kitchen preparing a small lunch for the two of them. The swelling in her eye had gone down considerably, she could at least see out of it now. But her body was still sore from the bruises and cuts covering most of it. Certain movements would remind her of that very fact. The swelling in her arm had also gone down and there was less pain. With the spoon wrapped against it she couldn't move it much which helped limit the pain. An odd choice for a splint but she had to give him credit for thinking on his feet and finding something to use in the heat of the moment.

She set the plate of jerky and buttered bread and jam on the small table. She loved how comfortable his home was. A small kitchen and sitting room filled one side of the home. His bedroom and washroom sat on the other. It was a decent size. Not too big, but certainly not big enough for a family. With only him living here though she was sure it was plenty of space. Perhaps even enough space for two.

He had only a few pieces of furniture but it felt cozy. A table with a set of matching chairs sat against the wall between the kitchen and sitting room. In his sitting room was the chair she had fallen asleep on while waiting for him the night before, a rug and a small table next to his door. He had a stack of books sitting against the wall and a wooden chest next to them. She hadn't dared open it. She had invaded enough of his space she couldn't invade any more. The set up left a good sized open space in the home, making it feel much bigger than it actually was.

Small blood stains could still be seen on the rug and the fabric of the sitting chair, but James didn't seem to mind. She had scrubbed at them but it didn't seem to change anything but smear it around. Maybe later she could try again, but her arm was tried and she was anxious to see him again.

The door closed and James dropped his hat and coat on the small table by the door, followed by the dark leather gloves he wore to hide Stark's newest invention. She much preferred him with out the hat. She liked seeing his face, and his messy hair. It was comforting to her. The hat had a way of hiding his face and the gentle features that accompanied it. He smiled at her as he walked into the home. "You are looking much better. How are you feeling?"

"I'm sore but I feel much better. Thank you for last night." She looked up at him and offered a gentle smile as she nodded towards the table sitting against the wall.

"I made lunch." She whispered softly. Her voice cracked a bit under the pressure. He stepped in front of her and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. The feeling of butterflies in her stomach was becoming common now, but in a good way. It was a feeling she would welcome anytime she could.

"You didn't have to do that Nat."

"And you didn't have to take care of me last night."

He shook his head as he sat down to the table. "I didn't have to, I wanted to. I love you Natalia. I care for the things I love. What kind of man would I be if I just turned you away? Especially after you cared for me?"

Natalia blushed and sat across from him. Wincing as she felt the bruises on her rib cage. "I pushed you away and then I broke into your home, probably scared the living daylights out of you."

"I'll admit -" he took a bite of his sandwich and continued on "it freaked me out seeing some one in my home when I wasn't expecting it. But the moment I saw your face I didn't care. The last three days were torture. All I could think about was you. During Steve's wedding, at work, home. Natalia, you own my mind now. I tried to push you out. Believe me I did just about everything I could, but thoughts of you always won that battle. I was ready to give up and live alone for the rest of my life."

She knew exactly what he meant. His home had been the place her body took her, even when she didn't really know where she was going. Pushing him away had caused more pain than anything she had done or gone through before. And she had been through a lot despite her young age. But if there was one thing she could change it would have been pushing him away. She regretted it more than any other action that she had done before.

"I know it's ridiculous. We've known each other a week, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. Everyone in town just kept saying it's fine, you're home, you'll forget about the experience soon. But what they didn't understand, what they couldn't understand was that I didn't want to. Every moment with you..." James trailed off and closed his eyes taking a deep breath. He shifted in his seat and dropped the sandwich on his plate.

"I have spent my life taking care of others. There wasn't time to take care of me. But since I got here, Steve hasn't needed help. He's got Peggy, and his health is so much better. Suddenly I had time for myself. I could have dated, pursued a relationship, courted a nice young woman and eventually married her. But every woman in town is the same. They want a perfect life. No adventure, no change. The same day to day. I can't live like that, it's just not who I am. But the moment you walked into that bank, something about you was so different. Maybe it was the pants or the gun, I don't know. But I knew then you would lead a life of adventure, you would be okay with change. You could be happy with someone like me. Natalia, I don't care what the town says, I don't care what your past holds. I just know that I need to be a part of your future and whatever it holds."

Natalia stared at him her mouth dropping open slightly. She hadn't expected him to be so open, and so honest with her. Especially not after she had pushed him away. She had never been that open with anyone. She had never had that much trust in a person, but it was nice to know that he felt he could trust her enough to open himself up like that. Truthfully she had expected him to tell her to leave the night before and to never come back. Something like she had made her choice and she had to live by it. Or that she had hurt him enough and he wasn't going to take any more. It was just surprising to be welcomed and to be expected to stay. His words seemed to heal her shattered heart. He wanted to be with her no matter what, he wanted to be a part of the mess she called her life. He dreamed of a future with her against all odds, and the odds truly were stacked against them.

"James, I don't know how much of a future I have..." her voice cracked and she could feel tears building up. She wanted him in what ever future she had, but she wasn't sure how long that future would be. She couldn't take another beating like the one she'd had the night before. Her body was in no shape to attempt a robbery, and every attempt to run in the past had failed. The note left beside her had given her a week to get the rest of the funds. Not just for this month. The rest that she owed in total. There was still so much left on her debt. The only person she knew with access to that amount of money was Howard. But she wasn't willing to bring him into this. They would never let him or his family go. And he would be a dangerous asset to them and their plans.

"Then we make one." His words were strong and confident. James' hands slipping into hers and he pulled her from her chair onto his lap.

"Whatever it takes." He whispered against her lips before he pressed his against hers. Time stopped in a collision of senses, every fear, every doubt melted as she let herself be swept away by the action. Her stomach fluttered. The feeling was so different from the night before. Alexei's actions had been filled with lust and an angry desire. James' were filled with love and compassion.

She closed her eyes and pressed against his chest. His hands dropped hers, one wrapped around her waist while the other traveled up her back to her hair, tangling it's self in her thick curls. Natalia's own hands rested around his neck, the spoon resting against his neck leaving her right hand resting at an awkward position. But neither of them cared about it.

"I love you Natalia." He murmured just as a knock sounded at the door. Whoever had knocked took no time waiting to come in.

"I love you t-"

"Bucky, I am so sorry to barge in unannounced, but my Ma sent me with some left overs from lunch today. I thought you might be a bit hungry, I had some free time before getting things ready for dinner. So I figured I would bring them by now and you could have them for lunch, or dinner. Whatever you prefer. I tried to catch you at the office but Clint said you had come ho..."

The southern drawl came from a petite blonde woman standing in the door way. Natalia tried to back away, but James' grip made that hard to do. Her heart stopped and she dug her fingers into James' chest. The woman stood stared at the two of them mouth open as she stumbled back.

Natalia had seen her before, at the inn and the next day in the bank. Although she looked different. Those days her hair had been braided and she had worn rather dull clothing. Now her hair was curled and half of it was pinned up, leaving only a few pieces in the front to frame her heart shaped face. She wore what looked to be her Sunday best. A bright blue dress with a matching over coat and hat. Her lips were a dark shade of pink and Natalia could see a faint dusting of blush on her cheeks. Gwendolen... James had mentioned her before as well as the crush she had on him.

Once she had put the pieces together her defensive side kicked in. Broken and beaten or not this girl was not taking James. She was done letting him go with out a fight, she may have been the 'perfect' southern belle, but James had made it clear that wasn't what he was looking for. He wanted Natalia.

Chapter Text

Natalia's lips were soft against his. Her hands found a place to rest around his neck, the wooden spoon dug in against his neck, but it was easy to ignore. This moment helped deepen the desire to keep her next to him. He would do anything to insure that she would be by his side for the rest of his life. He knew it would likely mean moving away from Bandera, the people here knew Natalia. While he had come to love it here, she had come to mean so much more to him then the people in this town.

They feared the 'Black Widow' and that wouldn't change by her moving in. They held onto their grudges and were not easy to forgive. He doubted even if they knew her story they would be willing to give her a second chance. Steve and Peggy would, but they were different than the rest of those around the town. Natalia would likely never feel comfortable or safe within the town boarders.

He heard the knock against solid wood and silently cursed. He was going to kill whoever was standing on the other side of that door, it was mid day. Whoever it was better have a very good reason for showing up at his door. Barton was at the office, any issues in town in need of a deputy could have easily been handled by him. A sinking feeling began to settle in his stomach that it would be Gwendolen. She had been showing up at random just to say hello, or bring over an 'extra' pie. Always in her Sunday best, all dolled up as if she was heading to church. If it was Gwendolen he wasn't going to hold back any more. It was time she learned he had no interest in her, or a life with her. His heart had been taken by another and he was more than okay with that.

Before he could move to open the door he heard the soft squeak of the hinges. There were very few people willing to just opened his door. One of them was currently out of town on his honeymoon. The other hadn't done it before but he wouldn't put it past her.

He felt Natalia pull away but his instincts kicked in and he tightened his grip on her. Her nails dug into his chest as she attempted to back away from him. The actions were odd. He couldn't make sense of them but her face was filled with fear and frustration, from her angle she could see whoever stood in the doorway before they spoke. And once they did James understood her fear and frustration. The all to familiar southern belle accent filled the room as she spoke.

"Bucky, I am so sorry to barge in unannounced, but my Ma sent me with some left overs from lunch today. I thought you might be a bit hungry, I had some free time before getting things ready for dinner. So I figured I would bring them by now and you could have them for lunch, or dinner. Whatever you prefer. I tried to catch you at the office but Clint said you had come ho..."

Gwendolen stood in his door way, a basket of food in her hands. A deep red clothe covered the top, but the aroma's of the food couldn't be missed. One could never miss the aromas of Miss Martha's cooking. It was enough to make even a full stomach growl. The basket dropped and a mixture of meats, potatoes, and cornbread rolled across his wood floor, gravy splattered across the floor and up the hem of her dress. The blonde stumbled back wide eyed as she looked at Natalia shaking her head as she did so. Her back hit the door and she froze unsure where else she could go. The expression on her face was a mixture of a dozen different emotions but James could clearly see the fear and confusion laying heavily on it.

"What is she doing here Bucky? She tried to kill you! She-She's a wanted thief! She kidnapped you! She terrorized this town! She's a criminal!"

Natalia's grip loosened as she tried to step back from the situation, as if to remove herself from it entirely. James tightened his own not willing to let her go. Gwendolen had made it awkward but he had made her a promise and he wasn't going to break it because of Gwendolen. For once everything in his life seemed right. Sure there were obstacles in the way, but he was no stranger to obstacles. He had the one thing that meant more to him than anything ever had. Gwendolen was not going to ruin it.

"Bucky?!" The terror in her voice rose in the silence as she caught site of James' hand holding Natalia's.

He took a deep breath and stepped foreword to place himself between the two women. The frustration in him was growing. The fact that she had simply walked into his home uninvited as if it was her own home, and that she was now demanding to know something that was none of her business.

"She didn't try to kill me." James muttered as he tried to find a way to explain to her. To make her understand it.

"She tried to rob us! She shot you and then kidnapped you! You were missing for five days! You came back completely different! Or did you forgot all of that? She is the Black Widow! She doesn't belong here, she belongs in a jail cell. You of all people should know that!" She through her hands up gesturing towards the red head. The frustration and confusion was obvious in the young woman's action and body language.

"No. Adam shot me. Or did you forget that? You all told Steve it was her didn't you though? Wanted to give Adam a way out?" He practically spat the words as he moved his body between Gwendolen and Natalia. She had come into his home unannounced and was now telling him what had happened to him? And wasn't even telling the truth, despite the fact that they had both been there. They had both seen the same events taking place. Had she really convinced her self that it had been Natalia and not Adam that shot him? And now she just stood there staring at them. She seemed so angry, but he didn't care. This was his life to live and she had no place to tell him what to do.

"Shot you or not she is a wanted thief Deputy. You have a job to do. We have to tell Steve she's here." Gwendolen put emphasis on the title before she bent down and began gathering the food that had fallen from the basket and hastily shoved it back in. She glanced up at him between putting things back, her eyes staying on him, refusing to glance at Natalia. Refusing to acknowledge her presence.

"Steve already knows." He muttered shaking his head. "You need to leave. Now."

Her eyes were full of hurt and anger as she stood and threw the basket at him. "I cannot believe you! You are a disgusting human. You're what? In love with this woman? This thief? You've known her for what a whole week? Or were you in on it the whole time? Did you help her? Did you plan it together? Why even come back if you wanted her anyways?!"

Her words came out heated, angry and full of spite. Tears were streaming down her face and he could feel Natalia moving away trying to step away from him.

"James...." Natalia whispered from behind him. "Let her calm down. We can explain it to her. Please, I'm sure she will understand if we just explain it to her."

"James?!? She calls you James? You told me you hated that name! I loved you Bucky. I did everything I could to get your attention, to get you to notice me and you never did. And then she comes waltzing in ready to steal our money and you fall in love with her? What is wrong with you?! What is so wrong in your head that you can turn into her arms and so her affection despite everything she tried to do to us!"

Frustrated with the blonde he dropped Natalia's hand and stepped foreword. "Gwen, this is my home. This is my life. I tried over and over to tell you I was not interested in a courtship with you, that I could not and would not provide the life you wanted. I never tried to lead you on, I was kind but I did not show any signs of affection towards you. You chose to disregard my words and actions. You didn't love me, you loved the idea of me. The idea of a happy life where we could play husband and wife. Ignoring that I would never change my ways just to make you happy. I could never be happy living your dream lifestyle. That I would give up my job to help you run your mothers inn. That I would give up who I am to make you happy. I am not that kind of person. But you ignored that and chose to 'love' me."

He grabbed the basket she had thrown at him and handed it to her. He had done his best to listen to Natalia, to explain and try and keep the young woman calm. He needed her to understand, to know why she couldn't tell anyone that the Black Widow was here. But he doubted anything he could say would convince her that keeping Natalia's presence a secret would be for the best.

"You know nothing about Natalia. You do not know her story, her life, or why she did what she did. You do not get to judge her or me. Steve is already aware of the situation so go on, tell him. But I swear to you Gwen, if you tell any one else I will make your life miserable. There will be no happy ending for you here if you do so. Natalia needs help and support so that is what she will be getting. You can respect my decision or you can tell the town but you will deal with the consequences if you do so."

He had no real intent to ruin her life. She was a kind hearted young woman who deserved the best in life, a life he couldn't give her even if he had wanted to. But he couldn't risk her telling anyone. Especially not her newly engaged sister. That woman would have the whole town knowing within ten minutes and Natalia would be hung by sunset with James forced to watch as her life slowly left her body.

She stared at him silent for a moment and then in one quick movement her hand flew up slapping across his cheek as hard as she could. His head jerked to the side and he reached up to rub at the sore red skin. Admittedly he probably deserved it, unfortunately that didn't stop the stinging feeling.

"You are utterly disgusting Deputy. A disgrace to this town. You have no place here as long as you defend the likes of her. We accepted you into our homes. We trusted you."

The anger in him boiled up, threatening to burst through, in ways he knew would only make things much worse. He knew there were truths in what she said, but it didn't change the fact that she didn't have the full story. She was working with the pieces she had, even if some were false or misremembered, and he couldn't fault her for that, but that didn't mean he had to listen to her, especially in his own home.

"Get out." He muttered pointing to the door. "Now."

The blonde turned on her heels and left without another word slamming the front door behind her as she left. James turned back to face Natalia and she immediately rushed to him, rubbing the red hand print on his face with her thumb.

"I am so sorry James... I've put you in danger. If she tells any one... I am so sorry. I never should have come here." he caught her hand and held it against his face, lacing his fingers between her own. He closed his eyes and shook his head. There was no reason for her to apologize for Gwendolen's actions.

"Don't apologize. Her actions are not yours. You don't need to apologize for them." He pressed his lips to her finger tips and pulled her closer to him. "And you know I would gladly go through any danger to be with you. The people of this town do not scare me. They are all bark and no bite. Gwendolen and the others will understand one day. And if they don't it doesn't matter."

Natalia placed her head on his chest careful to avoid his left shoulder. "Somehow I doubt that. Seeing some one hold a gun to your head is a hard image to forget and and even harder to get over. It is a memory you live with forever."

She spoke from experience, he could hear it in her the tone of her voice. More horrors from her past. Horrors that would haunt her until the end of her days.

"I did." He whispered against her forehead.

"I don't understand why or how you did so. But I am grateful for it." She replied before her voice dropped to a whisper and she looked up to meet his eyes. "I love you James Buchanan Barnes."

The words brought a soft smile to his face, even with the use of his full name. Something he had come to loath felt so right coming from her. "I love you too Natalia."

Chapter Text

Natalia stared at him awestruck at the way he had just stood up for her. The way he had defended her even when he knew the risks and the damage it could cause. She couldn't think of anyone who had done that for her before. Gwen was bound to tell anyone and everyone she could. But James hadn't feared the petite blonde, or her mouth. He had stood up for the woman who had caused him so much pain and changed his life completely in only a matter of days

She stood silent for a moment while he shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. Natalia could see the hairs catching on the metal supports framing each finger, and the small tug to push the hand further through his hair. She couldn't imagine the adjusting he would still have to go through with the new accessory. How many small day to day actions would need to be changed ? How many things that most people just did with out thinking would James now need to focus on before completing them? But at least there was function. At least he could continue to use it.

He let out a deep breath and rolled his eyes before he finally stood up straight and gave her a gentle smile. He reached his right hand out for hers and she took it, letting their fingers lace together. The familiar tingling sensation took over her hand and her pulled her into his chest.

"I'm sorry about that. Gwen is... Well she's a bit of a character. She means well, but she thinks everyone should live life the way she plans it. She never stops to think about the plans others might have, or the reasons they live they way they do. And apparently she finds it okay to barge into someone's home with out their given permission."

Natalia honestly couldn't tell if James was more upset over the dispute or the fact that she had come into his home unannounced and with out permission. There seemed to be equal amounts of frustration coming from both issues. She could understand it, some one had come into his own space with out an invitation. They had violated his privacy.

"What do we do if she tells the town that I am here? They are not going to like me being here. Not after what I did to them. And they surely won't like you helping me. And they definitely will not like Steve helping. It will create quiet the stir, are you sure you and Steve can handle that?"

"I will handle it. There has to be a way to figure things out." He shrugged and stepped back to the table, reaching for the once forgotten sandwich. "Steve and Peggy should be back in town within a couple hours, I'd like for them to come over if you are comfortable with that. I think Steve and I need to talk."

Natalia's hairs stood on edge when he mentioned inviting them over. She was already hesitant about James now being involved in her situation. But two strangers? Ones who knew nothing about her? No. She hadn't even let Howard help, and she had known him for years now. There was absolutely no reason that she should even entertain the idea.

"They don't even know me. Is it really fair to bring them into this?"

The brunette glanced at her out the side of his eye giving her a questioning look before he took a bite of his sandwich, crumbs falling to the table and sticking to the stubble on his chin. He shrugged and brushed off the crumbs with his right hand.

"I didn't either, but I still decided to help. That's what good people do. Sometimes we help others who need it even when we don't know them. You need to start trusting people, we can help Nat. This Dreykov fella can't fight off everyone. 'Sides, I'm gonna have to figure out a plan for our future either way. And Steve's got a better grasp on the towns around here and who might be in need of another deputy." He muttered with a mouth full of food.

Her mind flashed back to the first night at the Stark's home when Howard had talked excitedly with food in his mouth. She could see Maria's playful hit across his shoulder to remind him of his manners. Could that possibly be in her future? Could she and James figure this out, start a life together? Was he serious about leaving his life here for her?

"Steve is someone you can trust Nat. He's not one to spill secrets. And he's not one to let another suffer, no matter how well he knows or doesn't know them. I know this situation is tender, I know it's not easy to open up, and I won't force you to. But please consider it."

The relationship James had with Steve reminder her of own relationship she had once shared with her younger sister. Yelena had been three years her junior, and nearly killed their mother at her birth. She was so different from Natalia, not only in looks but in attitude. People rarely believed that the bright blonde and fiery red head were sisters. And while their personalities were so different, they were each others best friends. Their parents had given them everything they had to make their lives better. To give them something that they themselves could never have. They spent all of their money to put them in ballet school. A mistake now that Natalia could look back on what it had caused. Then when the girl's had done well in school they had sold everything they could to send Natalia to the States for a chance at a better life. She didn't blame them, they didn't know, they had tried to make things better for her. Natalia knew she would have done the same for Yelena. Leaving her four years ago had been heart breaking. Even now after years of being away she would give everything she had to protect her sister. She prayed nightly that Yelena was still home in Russia. And hopefully far from Dreykov's ballet school. Even if it wasn't what Yelena wanted, it would be far better than the life Natalia lived now. James had that same love and protection for Steve. They would be with each other till the end of the line, of that she had no doubt.

She watched him finish his sandwich before he stood and brushed the crumbs off his lap. "I have to get back. Barton is expecting me, and I've got to try and control Gwendolen's news. Keep the doors locked. Curtains dra-"

"James, I know how to hide. Likely better than you do. I've been doing it for four years now, and quiet well considering the amount of people who have been looking for me. You don't have to remind me how." She stepped closer and brushed off the stray crumbs clinging to the stubble around his lips. He caught her hand and brought her fingers to his lips. The touch of his lips against her skin was featherlight and she was finding the it was quickly becoming something she couldn't be with out the more he did it.

"I'm sorry... I have a habit of over protecting the things I love." he stepped back and grabbed his hat placing it low on his head before he grabbed the gloves to cover his hand.

She watched him, sure that the instinct to protect and nurture had come from those long nights watching over his mother, followed by repeating the nights with his sister. And possibly from taking care of Steve as well. Not having someone to care for must have felt so different now that he didn't need to protect or care for someone.

"I'll have dinner waiting. Invite Steve and Peggy. I would love to meet them. I feel like I know Steve quite well already."

He gave her a soft smirk and tilted his hat towards her as he stepped out the door.

Chapter Text

He walked with his head low, but the streets seemed so empty today. Even for mid day it just felt quieter than most days. Usually he'd see at least a dozen or so people out and about, talking to each other, running errands or something else. Kids running between building to building, chasing each other as they played games through the streets. But today he saw none of that. Just tumble weeds blowing across the empty streets. A sinking feeling in his gut told him it was because of the encounter with Gwendolen less than an hour earlier. Had she really already told everyone?

If she had what were they thinking? Were they judging him or were they already marching to his house to out Natalia and himself along side her? Was he making a mistake going in to work? Or would it be a mistake to stay home? It would make sense as to why the streets were so empty. They saw him coming and hid, they didn't want to believe it. Or the believed it and feared him now. Either way he had to get through the day.

"Deputy, could we speak for a moment?" The mid age voice filled with that sweet southern accent came from behind him and he knew exactly who it belonged to before he turned to face her.

"Miss Martha, I'm rather busy tod-"

"That wasn't a request deputy. We need to speak. I know Gwendolen came to see you. She came home in tears and I need to know why. She has her heart set on you, and while that doesn't mean you need to return to admiration but she doesn't deserve to come home in tears." The older women cut him off with a stern voice. She stood tall, with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her apron was covered in flour, along with a few other small stains that he couldn't place. Martha had always been protective of her children. He understood why. He had been that way over Rebecca. But the monster he was protecting her from was her own father. Martha protected her children from everything she could but he doubted there was anything in their own home she had to protect them from.

"Martha I am sorry but Clint is waiting for me to return. He needs to get ho-"

"And he can wait a little bit longer Deputy Barnes. We both know he is perfectly capable of the job, after all, the job was his before you came along." There was a hint angst in her voice. She took a step towards him and James immediately took a step back to keep the space.

"You've been different since you returned Deputy. The way you talk, act, even the way you move is different. I cannot help but wonder what exactly happened to you when you were with her. I suppose I'm the same as the rest of the town in that perspective. Will you ever tell us? Or are we forever to be left in the dark on it?"

He appreciated that Martha cared, that she worried about him and his struggles but right now that was the last thing he wanted. He knew it was her motherly instincts stepping in. Maybe it was the memories of loosing his mother that pushed him away, or maybe it was the current issues he was dealing with. He couldn't be sure but talking to Martha wasn't something he wanted to do at the moment. Even if he was willing to talk to her this particular topic wasn't one she should be pushing, she should have waited for him to feel comfortable enough to open up on his own.

"Bucky, Gwendolen is worried about you. We all are. We need answers. Was it truly so terrible that you won't tell us anything? What could possibly have happened to you? You returned home, did you not?"

Returned home? Was that the only the only thing she cared about? Was that the base of "being okay?" Was he expected to return to who he was simply because he had made it home? Ignore everything he had gone through and pretend it never happened? Pretend Adam never shot him? Or that he had fallen in love?

"Martha, the answers you want aren't something any of you has a right to. Not you, not Gwendolen, no one. What I went through has caused a lot of change. Changes that I am still going through and I am figuring out. When I am ready I will talk to those I want."

"And you just expect us to sit around waiting?"

What made her think she deserved any answers? No she hadn't been there and hadn't caused any of this but she was acting like she deserved them simply because she lived in the town. He went through the trauma. Trauma caused in part by one of the towns people that Martha claimed deserved answers. He had absolutely no desire to talk to any of them about it.

"I don't expect you to do anything. It is my life and my experience and I will not be bullied into answering your questions. I don't ask you what happened to you husband. That is your story to tell when you want. Not one for me to demand out of you, so stop demanding my experiences for your pleasure. If you want some drama to spice up your life go talk to Adam and his wife." He growled the words at the woman and turned away from her. It seemed today was bound to be one confrontation after another, each one more exhausting than the last.

"Depu-"

"I said no." He took a deep breath and continued on towards the office. At least if one positive thing could come from this confrontation it was that he was quiet sure that Gwendolen had not told her mother yet. And if she hadn't told Martha chances were slim she had told anyone else, well any one but Samantha.

He stormed into the office and tossed his hat on his desk with a deep groan. Barton stared at him eyebrows raised as Bucky turned and hit his head against the wall. "Everything alright Bucky?"

"Fine. Just fine." He muttered with a roll of his eyes. Clint Barton had worked with Steve during the time he had first moved out and before Bucky had finally joined him. He had made it clear he was ready to leave the job and spend more time at home with his wife and kids, which had been one of the reasons Steve had offered the position to Bucky in the first place. The man was an excellent shot, he just preferred using a bow and arrow as odd as it sounded. Bucky had never really asked him about it, just assumed that some Natives had taught him how to use it. Or maybe he had used it his whole life. The guy was filled with mysteries, the bow being one of many.

Clint had worked for the old sheriff but preferred life on his farm. He had a wife and two kids to watch over, and he had found that spending time with them meant more to him. But he was always willing to step in when needed. With Steve away they had decided to have Barton come in until he came home. While Bucky enjoyed the guy he wasn't Steve. They didn't have the same history together. A life long friendship and understanding of each other. And Bucky desperately needed that right now. He had had enough time away from his friend. But he didn't want to take away from his friends honeymoon. It was supposed to be the greatest week of his life and Bucky wanted Steve to enjoy that.

"Bucky you sure you're up for this? You haven't been back long, and you went through some pretty traumatic stuff. Even putting the emotional part aside you got hit by a bullet. You sure you ain't pushing your body too hard? Maybe you should take the rest of the day off. 'Sides it's not like anything has happened recently. I doubt today will be any different. Worst case, old man Smithers needs help finding his cow again."

"I'm fine Clint. Just frustrated. Everyone wants to pretend life is just like it was. And for them it probably is. But for me it's anything but..." Clint always seemed to be so relaxed and understanding. The two hardly knew each other, but the few times they interacted James could see how much he cared for other people. He could only imagine how he treated his own kids if he was willing to treat near strangers with such grace and kindness.

"Like I said, traumatic experiences." The blonde stood up from his desk and stepped towards him. "Laura is fine if I stay the rest of the day. Steve will be back tonight. Go home and rest. You were shot and kidnapped, then you show up one day and just jump right back into life? That can't be good for you. Take a break."

Bucky sighed and ran his right hand through his hair. He had to be careful how much movement he did with his left now. Howard had wanted him to keep the creation on the down low and that was harder to do when anyone close to him could hear the small clicks anytime he moved it. "I-I don't know Clint."

He knew there was truth to Clint's words. But at the same time, the distraction of work had been useful the last couple days. But on the other hand, Natalia was home waiting for him.

"Go home." Clint picked up Bucky's hat from his desk and tossed it to him. "I've got this covered. Laura will understand. She's already planning on bringing you dinner tonight."

Bucky caught the hat and nodded towards Clint. "Thank you Clint. If you see Steve can you tell him I'd like to talk to him tonight if possible?"

"I would be happy to. Relax, I've got this covered."

"Thank you" he pushed his hat on and pulled it low to cover his eyes before stepping out the door, praying that this time through town he wouldn't run into any one.

He kept up a quick pace trying to get home, but also trying not to draw too much attention to himself. The extra time with Natalia would be nice, especially to help figure things out for tonight. He truly hoped bringing Steve in wouldn't be a mistake.

He turned the corner onto his street and his heart stopped. He could see the open door and he knew something was wrong. Ignoring his previous conviction to remain clam and keep on the down low, he took off as fast as he could. He push through the ajar door gun drawn. "Natalia?!?"

Chapter Text

*Translated from Russian*

Alexei dragged his callused finger across her chin and smirked. * "Little spider, we have some catching up to do. Don't we? After all, you've made some very interesting decisions. I thought we had made it clear what brining in help would mean when you ran the first time. Such a nice little family that we had to kill, what a shame. I am certain they wouldn't have taken you in if they had know who and what you have become. Or what would happen to them because of you. What do you think?" *

The words came out rough. The Russian's accent was thick and made her stomach turn. He spoke in their native tongue but the words were dripping with alcohol making them slur together. It was hard to tell them apart unless one was actively trying to. Any distractions would have made it ear impossible to know what the man was saying. His grip on her waist was tight, impossible for her to break, and she was sure there would be bruises. If she lived long enough to see them.

The look in his eyes reminded her of the deadly rattle snakes living through out the desert that she had been warned of. Except he came with no warning. No rattle to tell unsuspecting children to back away slowly. No. He had come with trust, with love, a father figure when she was far from her own father. One who would give her the life she always dreamed of, and would make her into some one she could never become on her own. He had done that part at least. With out him she wouldn't have become the Black Widow. She would have hidden away in a small town forever, with her family. A boring but safe life. But now she

She could almost see the venom dripping off his teeth as he licked his lips. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her head back so he could see her eyes. * "We had a deal. You provide the money, no one gets hurt. You don't ask for help, you don't tell any one what we are doing. You get your dream life. You fail and you pay the price. You broke that deal Natalia. It's time to pay up." *

* "I-I can get you the money. I just need a couple days. I promise." * She wasn't sure how she could get enough, but she would figure it out. She had to. She had to be done with this man, this life. All of it. She wanted a future with James, whatever it could be. She wanted it far more than anything she had wanted before. Even the ballerina life that she had once been promised. James was truly all she wanted now. And she was willing to do whatever it took to have that future.

* "Oh we have long passed that option Natalia." *

* "You know I can do it. I can get the money. I've kept my word, I'm sorry I couldn't get it last time. I just-" *

A soft echo of her name coming from outside stopped her cold. James... No. He was supposed to be working. He was supposed to be gone until that evening. That had been the only thing that had given her any sense of peace. He had been safe, Alexei didn't know who he was. But now, Alexei would surely kill him.

As if he read her thoughts he looked towards the door and grinned * "It sounds as if your 'help' has arrived. Should we greet him?" *

* "No!" * She clawed desperately trying to break free, to distract him long enough to do something, anything. She had to protect James, warn him somehow. But it wasn't enough. Alexei's grip was too tight, she couldn't break free. With each movement she made it almost seemed as if his grip tightened around her.

James stepped through the door, his gun was raised but he didn't shoot. She was too close to Alexei, he wouldn't risk it. Alexei dropped Natalia's hair his attention now drawn to the Deputy.

"James run!" She begged him looking at him with pleading eyes. Maybe he would listen. Maybe she could save him. "Now! Please R-"

A slap across her face cut her off and the Russian released her. He stepped toward James, he spoke in English for the first time. The words still slurring together. "Ah, so the help has a name. James. So wonderful to finally meet the man who helped our little spider. What a shame though, You could have stayed out, could have kept yourself safe. But now here we are."

Alexei's laugh sounded more like a cackle to her. He truly enjoyed this. These actions that caused pain to others brought this sorry excuse of a man joy and entertainment. But James didn't seem to care. He took a swing at him with his right arm. His fist connected with the blonde's face and Alexei stepped back rubbing his face.

Natalia knew they were no match. James had no training in hand to hand combat. The most he had done was fight of his drunken father and protected Steve from the Brooklyn men who thought it would be fun to tease the weak one. Alexei was trained. His life revolved around it.

"Get out! James run!"

Alexei shook his head and swung with his own fist. "No, I don't think he will be leaving."

The impact caused the skin above James' eye to split and she knew from experience that the skin around the cut, including his eyes lid would soon begin to swell. The swelling would limit his eye sight and would only make the fight harder James stumbled back into the wall but took the punch well. Alexei didn't stop, he moved foreword as if he was about to pounce on his prey. With James pinned to the wall he had no where to move to.

"A lawman, you really know how to pick your help don't you Natalia? Unfortunately we can't have that." Alexei gripped James' badge and his fist and pulled it back. The action caused the badge to rip through the fabric exposing the bandage and Howard's 'iron arm' contraption underneath the fabric of his shirt.

"Now, now, now what do we have here?" He words came out almost like a nursey song like, with a laugh behind them. Natalia wasn't sure if he was referring to the bandage or the metal on top, perhaps both. An injury still healing provided an easy target to cause immediate pain and take an opponent down faster. Alexei's face twisted into a grotesque smirk as he reached for the knife at his waist. He started cutting the leather bands between the small metal supports. Each support dropped to the ground with a soft tinkle.

Natalia stepped foreword and pulled on Alexei's arm trying to pull him a way from James, even just distract him enough to help James escape. This was her fight after all. "No! Please! Let him go! He isn't a part of this! He didn't do anything! Just let him go, he won't say a word. I promise. Just let him live."

Even as she said the words she knew it wasn't true. James wouldn't just walk away. He couldn't. She could she it in his eyes. He was bound to stay. To fight for her, but that wouldn't stop her from trying.

Alexei shook her off with ease, and in one swift movement he dug the knife into James' shoulder. She watched in horror as James' face changed from anger to pain in only a moment. The once white bandage began turning a deep red and memories of their first encounter swarmed her. He reached his right arm up in an attempt to fight back or possibly pull the knife out. She couldn't tell. But his movements had slowed considerably. His arm was still healing and now, if by some miracle, he survived this he would have to start that healing process over again.

Would he be able to move his arm after two injuries in such a short time? Would Howard be able to fix the contraption? Would he forgive her for causing him pain again? Or was that too many times? All questions that truly didn't matter at this point. All that mattered was getting him out of here so that he could have a chance to answer those questions himself.

"I'll do anything you want, no questions, no fighting! I swear, I will do anything. Just let him go! Please!" Her heart broke as she watched James. All his hard work, all of Howard's work... Gone, all because of her. She begged, ready to drop to her knees and give him whatever he desired. No matter what sick demands he would make. She would do it with out a single word against him. "Anything, I swear."

Alexei didn't pay her any attention, instead he landed a punch across the right side of James' face. James coughed and blood trickled from his mouth. But that didn't stop the Russian. He grabbed the knife once more and twisted it until James' knees buckled. Alexei's grip on him seemed to be the only thing keeping him standing. Finding joy in the man's pain Alexei continued his assault, landing a punch to the Deputy's stomach. James was trying so hard to be strong but there was only so much one man could take. And he was still recovering from the bullet wound and fall from the horse. He was bound to still have bruises and she wouldn't have been surprised if he'd broken a rib or two in the fall.

She needed to get Alexei off of him. Natalia searched the room desperately for anything she could use to help. James' gun was discarded next to Alexei's foot, there was no way she could get to it before he noticed what she was going for. Her bag with her own gun was in the bedroom, another move she didn't think she could make with out Alexei catching her. The kitchen was on the other side of the two men, all she had was her bare hands. Those were proving rather useless.

James looked at her with a swollen eye and shook his head. His lip was caked in blood, the red liquid sticking between his teeth, and running down his chin. It was a terrible sight, even if she hadn't cared for him. "Let Natalia go. I'll take on her debts. Whatever you need, I'll do it."

The Russian stopped and laughed. "A lawman willing to protect the infamous Black Widow. What a twist! She really does have a hold on your heart doesn't she soldier? What lies did she tell her to convince you she is a good person? Did she talk about Dreykov's daughter? The family she caused to die? Or did she omit those from her story to make her seem like a better person?"

The blonde grabbed a fistful of James' hair and slammed his head into the wall. James groaned and when the blonde let go his head wobbled as if he wasn't sure how to hold it straight. Natalia spotted a book discarded under the couch and grabbed it. It was small but it was all she had. She gripped it in both hands and swung with all she had. The book connected with Alexei's skull and he let go of James. Immediately James fell to the ground his body too week to hold him on its own. The blonde turned in a fury towards Natalia and she stumbled back trying to think of anything she could to keep him away from James.

The blonde towered over her, but then he stumbled and fell. He hit the ground hard and that was when Natalia could see James' hand wrapped around his ankle.

James looked at her, and nodded to the door. "Find Steve. Now."

Then the blonde was on him. He slammed James' head to the ground over and over. Until his eyes rolled back, and his body went limp. Her heart begged her to stay and help but her mind knew there was nothing she could do. So she ran. She stumbled through Bandera's streets, tears streaming down her face. She had left him... He had give his everything for her and she abandoned him...

She tripped just as she hit the main road and collapsed on the ground. She didn't know how to find Steve. She didn't even know what he looked like, and no one here would trust her. She was the outlaw who had come in and ruined their lives. Now she would be asking, no begging for their help.

"Where's Bucky?" A blonde stood in the door way in front of her concern echoing in their voice.

Natalia shook her head and let the emotions take control. "I-I didn't mean to. I tried to help him, I swear. I did. But Alexei. I wasn't strong enough, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

She felt broken, pathetic but she forced herself looked up and to say the words she feared to be true. "I think he's dead..."

With that the walls she had built so carefully crumbled. She lost what little control she had left. The one person who had given her hope, had loved and trusted her was gone. And it was all her fault. No matter how one looked at it, she was the one to blame.

She heaved with heavy sobs as the town's citizens began to leave their homes and establishments to see what was going on. The blonde swooped in and pulled Natalia into the building and slammed the door behind them.

Chapter Text

James fell in and out of consciousness during the ride. The few moments he was awake he could feel ropes digging into his skin and the bouncing of a horse. The bouncing made him sick to his stomach and if there was anything left in his stomach he was sure he would have thrown it up. Along with the sick feeling, the bouncing intensified his headache which only led to him wanting to keep his eyes closed more. Only made him want to make that blackness permanent.

He wasn't sure when they made it to their destination, or where it was. But it was damp and dark. Time passed slowly inside. He wasn't sure how long he had been there, at first he thought he was doing okay at keeping track of the days, but then they turned into weeks and he lost count. With out seeing the sun most days he wasn't even sure if it was night or day most of the time. What little food he did receive was dry and almost inedible, but he didn't have much of a choice. He choked down the food and tried to keep himself on a regular schedule but with out seeing the sun it was impossible to know if he really was. The water was warm and tasted odd but his dehydrated body didn't care. It longed for more and would happily take what ever it was given.

He had noticed the first time he woke in the dark room that his arm had been stitched up, but much like the first time there was little to no feeling in his limbs. He could still get a little movement in his fingers. The elbow refused. Maybe if he was at full strength he could make it work. But now he was too tired and weak to keep trying. It was one less thing to waste his limited energy on.

And then the torture started. Hour after hour of questions followed by pain. He could have sworn he was answering the questions correctly. But each answer was met with some form of pain. Their favorite was a whip. Easy enough to inflict pain while standing at a distance. They tied his hands to a wood pole to keep him in place. At least the pole provided something to lean on when it got to be too much. He had lost count of how many times he had passed out tied to it.

"What is your name?"

"Bucky- Bucky Barnes." He croaked the name out but knew he'd only be greeted by the sharp crack of a whip. He arched his back as the leather made contact with his skin. His raspy throat struggled to cry out but there was little sound it could make.

"Try again."

Maybe they were right... Maybe that wasn't his name. He focused and tried to remember what people had called him. But he couldn't even remember faces. Everything had merged together. There was a faint memory of something red saying the name James. Maybe that was the name they wanted.

"James..."

He muttered the name praying against all odds that it would be right. But the stinging sensation in his back told him other wise.

"Try again."

"I don't know! I don't know the answer...." His broken voice whispered the words weakly as he collapsed against the pole in front of him. He wasn't sure what were memories and what were lies. It was all too jumbled now. He was too weak to care. He prayed they would just let him die. But that would be to easy for them. They enjoyed the torture. His death would be far less pleasureful for them.

He couldn't even remember the reason he was here. Those memories were long gone, along with so much more. There was so little left of him, what was left was fading quickly no matter how hard he tried to hold on to it.

He felt rough hands grab him and the chains around his wrist loosen. The dragged him down the halls before tossing him in the dark room once more. He laid there motionless. By now he knew moving that only intensified the pain.

"What will you do with him once you have broken him?" He recognized the voice, a distant memory sat at the edge of his mind but he couldn't put his finger one it.

"He will be the greatest soldier the Red Room has seen. Cold and heartless, no mercy. Much like the Russian winters. And we are so close Alexei, so close to breaking him. We will have our Winter Soldier."