Archive of Our Own ^beta

Arms overloaded with gifts, Natsu closed his car door with a bump of his hip before making his way up the walk to his townhouse. It had been ten days since he left to spend the holidays with his family, leaving his best friend and roommate behind. If he was really lucky, she would be home when he walked through the door instead of out with her douchebag boyfriend. A smile lit his face at the chance she was curled up on their couch waiting for him. 

Maybe, he thought, she baked some of her yummy holiday cookies for me. The thought of stuffing his face with her delicious cookies nearly caused him to drool. Remembering that he told Lucy the exact same thing last year had him chuckling. She had replied that ‘delicious cookies’ sounded like a euphemism for something else. Though her personality and manners were far more polished than his could ever be, Lucy sure did have a dirty sense of humor when she felt comfortable around someone.

His mind centered on what a lucky man he was to have Lucy in his life, he slid his key into the lock and let himself into their home. As soon as he stepped through the threshold, he knew something was wrong. While he knew it was wishful thinking for a stack of cookies to be waiting, there should at least have been the lingering smells of Lucy’s holiday baking, but there was nothing. Her coat was hanging by the door, which meant she was home, but none of the usual sounds were present. There was no turning of pages as she read whatever on the couch, no cheesy movie on the television, no light splashing of her taking a long soak.

Setting down the pile of gifts, he focused his attention on anything, finally hearing light sniffles coming from upstairs. He’d taken care of Lucy enough to know that these were not sick-Lucy sniffles. Sick-Lucy would be under a pile of blankets on the couch watching cooking shows instead of closed off in her room. Something was obviously wrong, and though Natsu did not yet know what happened, he was sure it had to do with her piece of shit boyfriend. Again.

They’d only been dating a few months, but Natsu remembered him from high school. He hadn’t liked Dan back then for some of the sleazy things he said about Lucy, and he liked the man even less years later. Lucy swore up and down that he was a gentleman and was good to her - even though the bastard had made her cry multiple times. 

Natsu mounted the stairs with a sigh. Much as he would love to beat the hell out of Dan, Lucy was his priority. Plus, she really didn’t like it when he stepped in without her permission. One time was enough for him to learn his lesson. He dashed up the stairs two at a time, landing in front of Lucy’s door quicker than he usually would and knocking softly. 

A sharp intake of breath came from the other side of the door, but otherwise it was silent. He tried a second time, then pressed his ear against the door. More sniffles were heard, but she still did not answer.

“I know you’re in there and awake, Lucy,” he called to her when it was obvious she was trying to wait him out. “C’mon, Lucy, open up.” A slight shuffle that took her further away from the door was the only noise inside. “We can do this the easy way, or you can spend a few days without a door when I kick it down. Your choice.”

It would not be the first time, though he had only done it once before when they were in high school. Her father had been so angry that his face turned purple. Natsu still laughed about it to this day, and Jude still held onto his anger. Good times.

“One,” Natsu counted, just as he had eight years before. “Tw-”

Lucy’s door swung open just as he was about to lift his foot. He took in her messy hair, puffy eyes, and tear-stained cheeks; it was obvious she had been at it for a while - likely several days. She collapsed against Natsu’s chest as soon as his arms opened for her. Her sobs broke his heart as tears and mucus soaked the front of his shirt. All he could do was hold her tighter, his own eyes squeezed shut to fight off his own tears at the pain she was in. 

Minutes ticked by and Natsu was steadfast in his self-appointed duty to take care of… he had to remind himself once again that Lucy was not his Lucy. Some things just weren’t meant to be. But she was still his best and closest and dearest friend, and he would do whatever he could to soothe and comfort her until she felt better.

“Not exactly the warm welcome I was expecting when I came home,” he joked when her shuddering sobs had finally stopped.

“I’m sorry,” Lucy replied in a soft, still-watery voice.

“Come on.” Completely ignoring her unnecessary apology, he led her to their bathroom. “Hot shower time for you. Take whatever time you need; I’ll bring your favorite pajamas, then I’m headed out for supplies so we can have a girl’s night in. Sound good?”

“Could you make your cinnamon cocoa bombs?”

The look he gave her said it all, and though it was small, she smiled for the first time in days.

“You’re the best, Natsu,” she told him before he slid the door closed.

True to his word, Natsu had everything set up when Lucy finally emerged from the bathroom dressed in her softest fuzzy lounge pants and one of the sweatshirts she stole from him when they were in college. She still claimed it was borrowed, but he hadn’t seen it in the two years between when he let her wear it and when she came down the stairs with it on after they moved in together.

As soon as she entered the living room, Natsu herded Lucy to her spot on the couch and pressed a warm mug into her hands. She took a deep breath, enjoying the rich scent before taking her first sip. Every bit of her was warmed as she drank her cocoa; some from the warmth of the liquid, some from the spiciness of the cinnamon, and some from the burn of just enough alcohol. It was glorious.

There was some smalltalk about his family and how the holidays went this year, after which they watched a cheesy romcom while eating copious amounts of Lucy’s favorite comfort foods.

The third movie of the night faded to black after another happy ending, the credits rolling as some song filled with love and longing filtered through the speakers. Slightly more than slightly tipsy, Natsu and Lucy remained cuddled together under a blanket. She had started crying again at something that happened on screen, and he finally calmed her once more. 

“You ready to talk about what happened?” It was the first time that night he had asked. History taught him that patience and liquor always helped her talk about what was bothering her.

“Yeah,” she sighed out against his chest. Lucy pushed herself back into a seated position as Natsu waited for her to begin. “I just need you to please not be too smug when the ‘I told you so’ comes. Okay?”

Shit. He hadn’t exactly wanted to be right; he gave her a nod and she took a deep breath before she began.

“From the beginning?” Another nod from him prompted one from her as well. He took her hand, giving a gentle squeeze. “Dan told me he had something special planned for Christmas. He told me he had plans with his family on Christmas day, but wanted to spend the day before with me. It was romantic - ice skating in the park, dinner reservations at a nice restaurant, then a walk downtown past all the light displays. We ended up back at his apartment at the end of the night…”

Lucy paused and Natsu could tell where she was going with this. She had told him before that Dan had tried to make their relationship more physical before she was ready, and he suspected the other man would try to pull something like this.

“I… we had sex, and I… gods, but I’m stupid.” Tears pooled in her eyes again. Not knowing what else to do, Natsu rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand over and over trying to soothe her just enough to get it all out. “He called a car to come pick me up and practically pushed me out the door when he was finished, claiming he had to get up early to go to his parents’ house. I didn’t hear anything from him the next day. But he was with his family, so I wasn’t really expecting to. It was two days before I got a call, him telling me he wanted to take me to lunch.”

Another pause, and Natsu watched as a mix of hurt and anger crossed her features.

“He waited until we had ordered before he broke up with me. Fucking bastard told me that he didn’t see the point in being with me anymore, since he got what he wanted. Apparently I am a mediocre fuck at best, and whatever access he might have to daddy’s money from marrying me wouldn’t be worth years of horrible sex.” She took a shaky breath, more anger than sadness as she continued. “As if it’s my fault he doesn’t know what foreplay is; a few minutes of intoxicated making out on his couch before pressuring me to…”

Her mouth snapped shut as her eyes snapped up to Natsu’s. Anger was not quite accurate. The Sun might be hot enough to compare to the fury he was feeling at that moment.

“What?” Natsu growled, trying his desperate best not to lose his shit one moment and feeling like he’d been submerged in a frozen river the next. He swallowed thickly, his tongue feeling sticky with the bile that rose in his throat. His next words came out as a whisper. “Did he rape you?”

“No.” Lucy attempted confidence in her words, but they still came out sounding more like a question. The night was still fuzzy in her mind, but she didn’t think he forced himself on her. “I… no. He didn’t… do that.”

“Did he ask if you wanted to have sex?”

“N-no.”

“Did you want to have sex with him?” He absolutely did not want to know the answer to that, but he needed to know. 

“Um…” Lucy hesitated. She knew her best friend better than she knew herself some days. She already knew what he was thinking, and did not want him going to prison for murder. But she also couldn’t lie to him. “Not really. I don’t think it would have happened if I hadn’t had so much to drink.”

Giving precisely zero fucks about how much he’d had to drink that night, Natsu wanted blood. He found himself held in place when he attempted to lunge to his feet. Lucy was smaller than him by a decent bit, something that caused people to underestimate her strength more often than not. Not Natsu, though; he’d known her strength since the beginning and therefore, was not surprised by the tight grip on his shirt that kept him in place.

“Don’t,” she pleaded. “He’s not worth it.”

Reaching his right hand up, he wiped a fresh tear from her cheek. “You’re worth it.”

“If you want to do something for me,” he perked up slightly at her words. Natsu would do anything for her. “Just stay. Please. I need you in my life more than I need him gone.”

In lieu of answering with words, he pulled her back into her previous position on the couch. Within seconds they were sufficiently covered by the blanket again and he was browsing for another of her favorite sappy movies. His anger about so many things that she said - and those that went unsaid - still boiled just under the surface, but tonight she needed this closeness, and he would give it to her.

* * * * * * * * * *

It took some time, but Lucy slowly got back to being herself. In the past, after a bad breakup, she would take a month or two and then get back out there. This time was different, though Natsu could never get a straight answer as to why. Instead of downloading a crap-ton of dating apps as she had in the past, she just… didn’t. She threw herself into work and time spent with friends - including him. 

Their usual weekly pizza and movie night fell on Valentine’s Day. She surprised him by declining his offer to reschedule, saying she didn’t need some random guy to tell her she was pretty and buy her flowers in some faux-romantic gesture. Lucy told him she would much rather spend the evening eating chocolate and watching comedies with him than be out with anyone else. 

And it wasn’t that she was incapable of finding a date. Lucy was a genuinely sweet woman with a good heart. In Natsu’s opinion, her outer beauty was a reflection of what was on the inside. Her brown eyes were dark, like the soil he loved to use for planting, and just as rich; he could be buried alive in those eyes and be all too happy to spend the rest of his days there. From the few times he had accidentally walked in on her stepping out of the shower - hey, it was the middle of the night and he had to piss… that’s just one of the dangers of a one bathroom townhouse - her body was perfectly proportioned in every way. 

Every week he felt it a little stronger. That ache in his chest when he looked at her. The desire to be just a little bit closer to her when they hung out, whether it was just them or all of their friends. No matter what he tried, it would not dissipate, so he accepted the fact that he would forever be in love with his best friend. If she ever felt the same, that would be great, but he would not rock the boat by telling her.

* * * * * * * * * *

Before long, it was summer. Natsu and Lucy were out doing their regular grocery run, bags filled with mostly essential food items and several favored snacks that were running low. 

Lucy was a few steps ahead of Natsu as she pushed the cart through the parking lot towards his car. Try as he might, he could not stop his eyes from wandering to her butt for several steps before averting his gaze. He caught up to her quickly and they loaded everything into the trunk. Natsu started the car, allowing Lucy to sit comfortably in the air conditioned interior as he returned the cart.

Alas, the peaceful day would not remain so any longer. Once the cart was returned, he stepped back and collided with someone else.

“I’m sor-” he cut himself off, his apology and politeness turning into burning rage in an instant. “Oh, it’s you.”

Natsu turned to walk away, only to be stopped by a hand gripping his left arm.

“That was rude,” Dan told him as if scolding a child for bad manners. “You need to apologize for assaulting me.”

“Maybe if you weren’t standing so close, I wouldn’t have run into you,” Natsu retorted, yanking his arm from the other man’s grip. It was easier than he thought it would be; for all his boasting, Dan was not particularly strong. “Is there a reason you were standing that close to my ass? Were you planning to take advantage of the situation the way you took advantage of Lucy?”

“I don’t know what lies that little slut told you, but I’m not surprised you believe her.” The fact that he could say such a thing with a straight face was astounding to Natsu. “Did you at least wait until she showered before you fucked her, or did you get the sloppy seconds?” Dan looked Natsu up and down before adding to his bullshit. “Maybe if you can teach her to do more than lay there like a blow-up doll I’d be willing to take her back.”

Natsu growled, his hands clenched into fists at his side. “Unlike you, I don’t take advantage of drunk women. I’m not the kind of man who pressures women into sex when they’re not ready. Unlike you, you fucking piece of shit, I’m not a rapist.”

Dan swung as soon as Natsu was done speaking. The punch landed in the center of his abdomen and Natsu staggered back a step, a grin spreading across his face as he retaliated. Fair is fair, and Natsu only sent one punch towards the other man, hitting him in the jaw. Dan collapsed immediately, Natsu kneeling over him.

“You’re just lucky that Lucy was too nice to press charges or you’d be rotting in prison getting a taste of your own medicine. Stay the fuck down until someone comes to get you.”

Natsu stepped back, hearing Lucy calling his name at the same time sirens came to his ears. He pulled her further away from her ex-boyfriend, but staying close enough that it could not be considered fleeing the scene.

Two hours and many questions later, Natsu and Lucy were allowed to go home. Dan, however, was taken into custody for assault. As the pair unloaded their groceries - the store manager was kind enough to replace their frozen goods that had melted - there was a tense silence between them. Natsu had refused to share with Lucy what Dan had said, and the longer he avoided it, the more it grated on her nerves.

She waited until they were setting out the ingredients for dinner before trying again. Lucy wanted answers about what happened and she was determined to have them.

“Natsu,” she cooed at him.

“No,” he replied without looking up from the vegetables he was slicing.

“Yes!” Lucy slammed the pot down on the stovetop and turned towards him. “I have a right to know what that prick said about me, Natsu. And don’t you dare say you’re trying to protect me. I don’t need your protection from this, I need to know that you can be honest with me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” During her tirade, Natsu had stopped what he was doing and faced her. “He hurt you enough, and I don’t want to be part of him hurting you more.”

“Don’t you see? I need you to tell me so whatever hurt is left can go away. I need the pain to cleanse the wound his actions and words left behind. I need it to be able to move on.”

Searching her eyes for any hint of a lie, Natsu found only resolve. Finding none, he led her to the couch to sit down; dinner could wait a little longer. When they were comfortable, he repeated what he could remember of their conversation, down to the crude phrasing. For her part, Lucy handled it well, not breaking down as he had expected. Only one tear fell from her eyes, and it had nothing to do with what Dan had said about her, instead taking offense to what he had implied about Natsu. 

A certain type of static filled the air around them that night. It was subtle, though both noticed it, and neither knew what to make of it, nor how it would change things between them.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Summer turned into fall and Natsu was almost constantly on-edge. Lucy had expressed a desire to ‘move on’ after his interaction with Dan, but she still hadn’t. Obviously, he did not mind all the time they spent together. 

Mostly.

He knew that it would end eventually, however, and the longer she went without dating, the more his mind tried to convince him that what they had was more. That’s what he wanted more than anything. Well, almost anything. What he really wanted was for Lucy to be happy. And he knew that she wouldn’t be until she was able to fully move on from what that bastard had done. She had wanted a family for as long as he could remember, and no matter how much he wished it were different, she would not get her happiness cuddled on their couch with him making fun of ridiculous romcoms.

It was selfish to want things to stay the way they were, but he couldn’t help but let himself believe a little longer. In a few months they would be traveling back to Magnolia to spend the holidays with his family. It had been eleven years since the first time he dragged her home; after she confided in him that she would spend the weeks of winter break alone - after her mom died, her dad always made sure he was out of town during her favorite time of year - he practically kidnapped her, promising she would never be alone again.

The memory flooded him with guilt for leaving her the year before, but it was her choice to spend the time with that jackass instead. At least they had solidified their plans well ahead of time this year. There would not be a repeat of what happened to her. Ever. Not if he had anything to say about it.

* * * * * * * * * *

Snow fell gently into the back garden as Lucy watched from her comfortable spot. Curled up on the huge circular reading chair that had been purchased and placed there just for her, Lucy felt spoiled. As always, she had been greeted with enthusiastic hugs and more love than she felt she deserved some days. 

Igneel had hugged her so tight that she could barely breathe, and Grandeeney fawned over how good she looked and how much she loved her latest novel. It was really too much.

They had all gone to bed hours ago, Lucy included. She had been assigned a room in their house when she and Natsu were sophomores in high school, back at the beginning of their friendship over a decade ago. This was the first year she had trouble falling asleep, instead finding herself in ‘Lucy’s Corner’ with a cup of cocoa, her mind racing too fast to think on any one thing for more than a moment.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Natsu’s voice startled her, eliciting a squeak that made him chuckle.

“Don’t scare me,” she chastised, slapping his arm as he plopped into the chair next to her. It swung enough to change her view, but she didn’t mind now that she had company. “Jerk. Shouldn’t you be sleeping as well?”

“Maybe. Something just felt off with you, and when I finally got up to check on you, you weren’t in your room. Figured there was only one other place you would be.” Natsu pushed off the floor enough to point them towards the window again before making himself comfortable by plastering himself against her and stealing her drink.

“Hey, no! Bad dragon!” Lucy twisted around to steal her drink back, but he already had the cup to his lips. 

It was at the dregs - arguably the best part, since the chocolate was deliciously concentrated - and she watched his throat bob as he swallowed the tastiest part of her beverage. She tried to grab the mug away from him one more time, the combination of her squirming and him dodging landing her with her thighs on either side of his hips.

Natsu licked what was left from the rim, then held the mug back and away from her. The position she found herself in became more precarious as she slipped, falling flush against his chest and knocking the breath from both of them.

“That wasn’t very nice.” Lucy turned her head towards Natsu, gasping softly at how close she was to his face. He smiled and she noticed the thin line of cocoa resting just above his upper lip. 

“You could have stopped me if you really wanted to. Besides, I think there’s a little bit left,” he said with a smug grin. “You’re more than welcome to take it from me.”

Lucy swallowed, looking up into his eyes and only seeing a playful challenge. He had never said anything so bold, and Lucy wasn’t sure if she should take him up on it. But in doing so, she would get two things she wanted - the last of her cocoa, and a taste of Natsu’s lips. 

She didn’t notice Natsu bringing the mug forward as she leaned closer to him. What she did notice was how he froze for a moment when her hands slid into his hair just as her lips pressed against his.

The shock did not last long, Natsu sitting straighter to follow Lucy as she tried to pull away, keeping their lips together and deepening the kiss. 

They pulled away minutes later, panting for breath, their foreheads resting together.

“What brought that on?” Natsu finally brought himself to ask. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

“I… you… is that not what you meant? There was cocoa left on your lips…” Lucy flushed, trying to pull away, but Natsu held her in place.

“Again,” he paused, finally bringing the mug between them.  “Not complaining. I wanted a taste, but I left some of your precious cocoa dregs that I know you love.” Natsu pressed the mug into her hands. 

“I'm so sorry. I… I  didn't mean to… Oh gods, I ruined everything!”

“Lucy, look at me. Please.” He brushed his fingertips across her cheek when she turned her face his way. “Did you… I mean… Well, was it just the chocolate?”

“I don't understand.”

Of all the conversations they'd had in more than eleven years of friendship, this one was proving to be the most difficult. And the most terrifying. As he so often did when offering comfort, Natsu took one of Lucy’s hands in his. This time, however, it was he who drew comfort from her.

“I've wanted to kiss you since junior year in high school,” Natsu explained. “You were always my best friend since the day we met, and I knew I loved you. But I thought it was just as a friend, and wanting to kiss you was just a crush that would eventually go away." He didn't realize that his fingers toyed with hers, Lucy’s eyes wide as he spoke. “It never did go away, though. And it wasn't just because you’re so damn pretty, even though you are. It's because I was falling in love with you.”

Finally taking a chance, he looked up into her wide eyes.

“So I'm the one who should be sorry. I responded without thinking, just wanting to spend forever kissing you. What I wanted to ask was whether you actually wanted to kiss me, or if…?” He didn't know how to finish his question. His chest clenched at the possibility that he forced himself on her, even just a kiss.

“It took me a while longer to figure it out.” A glimmer of hope shined through Natsu’s melancholy. “But I fell in love with you, too. I've wanted to kiss you for months.”

“Would you, maybe, wanna do it again?”

Lucy smiled, whispering an affirmative as she leaned in to kiss him once more.

Tired from a long day, their kisses did not last long, both wanting but neither pushing for more. They fell asleep together on Lucy’s chair, watching the snow slowly pile up outside.

* * * * * * * * * *

Natsu opened his eyes slowly, one hand smoothing Lucy’s hair away from his mouth and nose. He smiled remembering the night before as his eyes scanned the room. Time stopped as he locked eyes with his mother. She stood in the doorway watching with a knowing smile of her own. 

“Looks like you got what you wanted for Christmas,” Igneel commented as he handed his wife a cup of coffee. “And you didn't even have to meddle.”

They walked away as Lucy began to wake, content in the arms of the man she loved. Her eyes fluttered open when Natsu pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Merry Christmas, Lucy.”

She beamed tiredly up at him. “Merry Christmas, Natsu.” Lucy wiggled just enough to close the gap between her lips and his. She couldn’t get enough of them. 

“I love you,” Natsu whispered against her lips.

“Gross,” Wendy shouted as she walked past the doorway. “You can make out later, it’s time for presents!”

Lucy looked at Natsu, and he looked right back at her, both of them bursting into giggles as they scrambled towards the living room to celebrate Christmas with their family.