Chapter Text
Natsu woke up with the worst headache he remembered ever having. His pulse thrummed behind his forehead, and he was pretty much feeling like shit in general. Vaguely, he noticed the silhouette of hands moving clumsily in the air, trying to grab at something… wait, were those his own hands? The fingers that were apparently his managed to reach a bench, grab it firmly and hoist him up.
Bad idea. Horrible idea. That was such a bad idea, that was the worst idea in the history of ideas. Natsu’s head swam in the midst of pain, confusion and heaviness. Black dots were strolling through his vision, making it difficult to see anything at all. He tried to blink them away, but failed miserably. Everything felt quite miserable right now, to be honest. He bet that dying would be actually a blessing.
No, wait he couldn’t die. Not right now. Something had happened. Something important.
He let his head fall down again and cursed in a hundred different languages when it knocked against the floor and shook everything inside. Where was he right now? Why was he feeling like shit? What had happened in the last twenty-four hours?
Edolas. The answer came as a lightning bolt to him, making him jump on the spot and curse once again when the movement made him realize just how sensitive his stomach was. Had he thrown up at some point during last night? No, definitely not. If he had, he wouldn’t be feeling so much like crap right now.
Wait, he was feeling like shit because he had drunk last night. Yeah… yeah, he remembered! He had drunk like there was no tomorrow. Fairy Tail had been celebrating because… because they had come back from Edolas alive and… and nobody had been badly hurt and… and… and now they had new members like Pantherlily and…
Natsu’s eyes shot wide open, and when the light pierced his sensitive pupils and left him hurting, he still forced them to stay that way.
Lisanna. Lisanna was alive.
He stood up on wobbly legs, careful of every movement he made. There was lead where his head should have been; it felt heavy and unstable, and his stomach was protesting, trying to come out through his mouth. He kept his jaw tightly closed, refusing to throw up right now. He had much more important matters before that.
His abused eyes scanned the place, and he realized he was at the guild. Orange light filtered between the closed curtains, and the automatic part of his brain guessed it must be somewhere in the early morning, maybe sunrise, maybe nine am. There was no way of knowing without going outside, and that was something he definitely wasn’t going to do.
He had fallen asleep sometime last night at a corner and some kind soul had dropped a blanket over his passed out form. Good news was that he didn’t seem to be the only one left in that poor state. At least half of the guild was sleeping at different places of the floor. He could see Cana drooling over an unconscious Juvia, who in turn was clinging like her life depended on it to her Gray-sama’s precious arm. Lucy was nowhere to be seen, but that wasn’t too weird. She probably went home at some point during last night. Gajeel was actually hugging his new pet in a gesture that looked almost cute, if it wasn’t by the fact that seeing Gajeel in an unconscious and innocent state was incredibly disturbing for Natsu’s eyes. Levy was not far away either, resting over Droy’s chest with Jet near them.
But Natsu’s groggy brain barely registered his guild mates' state. There was only space for one fact in there, and that was that beyond the smell of alcohol and sweat and heat and human beings, there was the scent of something rich and sweet, something that smelled like spring, clean fur and fresh leather. A scent he thought he would never smell again.
If someone had seen him walking in that moment, they would have thought of him as an automat doll instead of a living person. He followed the trail letting his instincts do the work that at the moment his logical mind was unable to do. He stumbled over knocked out bodies and his legs hit a couple of tables, but finally he got to his destination. And found her.
She was tucked away in her siblings’ arms, both elders hugging her from each side. Mirajane was nuzzling her hair while Elfman spooned her, his big body covering almost everything of her in a protective embrace. And she was smiling. A small, fulfilled smile. A peaceful smile.
Natsu decided he was too tired and hung over to do anything at the moment. He walked back to his spot in the corner where he found Happy snuggled in the blanket, something he hadn’t noticed before. He laid on the floor again and tried to cover himself the best he could with the little cloth. Sleep seized him almost immediately. He was hella tired, and his brain needed to sleep the headache off. But it was okay. There was nothing to hurry about anyway. He would wake up a couple of hours from now, and everything would be just fine.
The door looked at him. It seemed to mock him on his indecision. Some people were beginning to stare. One does not simply stay standing in front of a door for half an hour without knocking. And yet...
The Strauss house stood tall in front of him. He hadn’t been here in what felt like an eternity. Two years can stretch a lot, curiously. The days in which he came here almost every day to invite Lisanna for a drink or some playtime seemed not only years, but worlds away. Too much had happened.
It had been a week since Lisanna’s miraculous comeback from the world of the dead. Or, well, from the dimension of Edolas, to be more precise. One week of awkward glances and fidgeting in his seat. One week of growing tension and uncomfortable silence.
They hadn’t talked since the day they returned from Edolas. Lisanna had barely been at the guild at all. She was present the first day after her emotional reunion with her siblings. She helped Team Natsu, Gajeel, and a new found Patherlily explain what had happened during the Edolas drama, the absence of Mystogan and all that shit. Confusion was dissipated, tears were shed, and everybody celebrated the fact that their dear baby Lisanna was back. Celebrated big, Fairy Tail style, of course.
As expected, the party had lasted the whole night and morning found drunken wizards passed out over the floor and tables. Everybody had partied, and nobody had held back. Natsu had woken up with a serious hangover. He had drunk, eaten and danced like there was no tomorrow. Lisanna was back, she was alive and tangible, her scent in his nose when he thought he would never smell it again. He was ecstatic.
When he woke up the next day, neither Lisanna nor any of the Strauss siblings had been there anymore. Panic overflowed him. The fear that it all might have been a dream was sharp and poignant. But no, her scent was in the air and his nose wouldn’t lie to him.
He took the semi-conscious Happy with him and followed the trail until he got to the same place he was right now. When he knocked on the door, a calmed Mirajane opened.
“She’s sleeping right now. She’s tired. Give her some time to settle down, will you, Natsu? All this world moving was harsh on her.”
Natsu hadn’t protested because what Mirajane said sounded pretty reasonable. Lisanna was tired and that was logical, very logical. He should give her time, that’s right, that’s right.
Yes, that’s right. Really logical. And reasonable. But then, why were his insides clawing out of him, demanding to see the girl right then and there?
“Ah, okay. I’ll… I’ll go now. I’ll come back later. Yes, that’s what I’ll do.”
“Wait Natsu!”
Mirajane had stopped him when he was about to leave. Her words pulled taunt some hidden strings inside of him. He turned around with a hopeful smile on his face.
“What is it?”
“Could you… Could you maybe let Happy stay? Lisanna said she wanted to spend time with him. She missed him. ”
…And that’s the fastest way to crush a boy’s optimism.
“Oh. Uh. Sure.”
The kitten had fallen asleep over his head on the way there. Gently he woke him up and explained the situation. Happy eagerly agreed to stay. Why wouldn’t he, honestly? The exceed had suffered from Lisanna’s absence just as much as the boy had.
Natsu left him there and went away with a whole new kind of bad humour tainted with disappointment that he couldn’t quite shake off for the rest of the day.
The only times he saw Happy or Lisanna during the next week, were when the girl decided to show up at the guild to say hi or complete some errand Mirajane had assigned her. She never stayed for long, and whenever her gaze was caught by Natsu she seemed to hurry whatever she was doing and disappear faster than he could follow.
Huh. One would even think she was trying to avoid him. Good thing Natsu knew better.
Okay so, he had given her a week. A week to settle down. A week of tension and sharply cut out glances. He wasn’t a jerk; if Lisanna needed her time, he was no one to deny her from it. But he also had his needs and he really, really needed to talk to her. He needed to see her, to smell her, to touch her. Two years were a heck of a lot of time. Especially when you are absolutely convinced that you will never see the other person because fate has decided to rip them away from you. He needed to convince himself that she was real. To recognize her.
Yes, a week was enough time and it’s not like he was doing something wrong by coming here to talk to her. Maybe spend some time with her. He had every right to do it, he had it. Yeah, he did!
Besides, since Happy was staying here, it was only right for him to come by and check on him. He wasn’t doing anything wrong by coming here. He was about to knock when the door abruptly opened and suddenly two bright blue orbs were staring at him.
“Na-natsu!”
“Lisanna!”
Natsu realized he was dumbfounded, so he discretely closed his jaw and tucked away the hand that had been left frozen in the air.
“Natsu… what are you doing here? Are you here for Happy?”
“Ehh… actually, I was looking for you.”
Lisanna cocked he head, scowling in confusion.
“For me?”
“Lisannaaaaa, who’s at the door?” A ball of blue fur peered up from the girl’s shoulder. “Oh, Natsu! How are you doing? It’s been a whole week!”
“Yeah, I know buddy.” Natsu grinned at Happy, but when his eyes returned to Lisanna, hers were cast down. Natsu’s smile faltered just a little. “Erg… I was here to know how things were going… Since the Strauss are feeding you I thought I should contribute somehow.”
Natsu’s tongue tasted sour as it formed the words that weren’t lies but were not exactly the truth either. He looked at Lisanna once more, but she still wasn’t meeting his gaze and that bothered him so much for some reason.
“Oh well, I’m fine here. Mirajane is a great cook, and she knows dozens of different ways to cook fish, besides everybody says I’m not a bother so you shouldn’t worry. Oh, but how’s Lucy going? Have you gone to a mission without me, remember I want to…”
Happy’s chattering faded into background silence as Natsu’s gaze focused solely on Lisanna’s face. Why wouldn’t she meet his eyes? Why had she been avoiding him all week? He had been so incredibly happy when she came back. Like his lungs couldn’t quite fit his chest, and yet it wasn’t an unpleasant sensation. All on the contrary, it was almost like soaring. And Lisanna had seemed happy too, if the way she had hugged him against the floor was any hint to go by.
What had happened during the last week to make her shy away from him like that?
“Lisanna, who’s at the door…? Oh, Natsu! What are you doing here? Ah, I mean, it’s good to see you!” Mirajane appeared behind Lisanna wearing one of her jovial smiles. “What are you doing here? Do you want to come in?”
Natsu spared one last fruitless glance to the younger girl, before engaging the bartender with a half-way fixed expression of his own.
“I… I was just wondering if you would like some help with Happy. Since, you know, he’s my responsibility. And you are taking care of him for me so. I just. Thought it might be correct to offer my help.”
Awkward. This situation was so awkward. No, awkward didn’t even began to describe the strain in the air. Natsu was starting to feel deflated, like somebody had drained all the energy from his body. Lisanna didn’t look like she wanted to talk to him at all, and that feeling was worse than the strongest punch in the gut. Why had he even come here? He should had been more patient, like Lucy always says, and waited until Lisanna had approached him when she was ready.
Unaware of his inner sulking, Mirajane was humming with her index finger pressed against her lips.
“Well, Happy is fine, we don’t have any problems with him, really. He’s a sweetheart when he wants to be. He doesn’t give trouble at all, you should trust him… some more…” Mirajane slowly stopped talking as she noticed the tension between the two teens. Gosh, but you could practically cut the air with a knife! She pursed her lips and cocked an eyebrow. No, this definitely wasn’t going to happen. Not on her watch!
The model tucked one white strand behind her ear before crossing her arms, one hand on her chin, and saying as casually as she could:
“Actually Natsu, you came just in the right moment. I was needing an extra pair of hands here.”
“You did?”
“You did, Mira-nee?”
The teens looked at her, then at each other when they realized they had spoken at the same time and immediately averted their gazes, both with blushes. Mavis, but they were like small children!
“Yes, I did. Lisanna, you had been at home an awfully lot.”
“Mira-nee! I haven’t!” The girl spluttered, recoiling slightly.
“Yes, you have Lisanna. Natsu, I need your help to get her out of here. Go take her to the town centre or something. Help her get used to the ways of Earthland again.”
Lisanna was protesting somewhere on the background, but Mirajane didn’t pay her any attention, engrossed in Natsu as she was. The boy looked bleak, so unlike himself. His eyes averted when usually looking straight in the face of a challenge, his shoulders down when he always held them high with pride. This kid was a pile of self-doubt right now.
Ah, first love. It’s astonishing, how it can take down the best of us.
Pity a self-doubting Natsu wouldn’t do right now. She needed to do something about it.
“You know, Natsu. Lisanna has been asking for you. She missed you greatly these two years, even if she’s shy to admit it.”
The current colour in Lisanna’s cheeks could have probably defied what humanity as a kind considered red, but once again Mirajane’s focus was somewhere else. Specifically, on the way Natsu started to look less like an emo boy with low self-esteem and more like himself.
“She… she did?”
He took the bait. Headshot.
“Yes, totally!”
“Mira-nee, what are you saying?” Lisanna hissed with a painfully ashamed expression.
“That’s such a silly question Lisanna. I’m telling the truth. Haven’t you missed Natsu?”
“Well, y-yeah, I did!”
“Of course you did. He’s your friend, isn’t him?”
The girl’s spluttering stopped to be replaced by a gapingly surprised expression.
“Yes, he… he is.”
“And you Natsu, you missed her, right?”
“Yes.” Natsu looked straight at Lisanna when he said the next words. “I did miss her. More than you can imagine.”
“Oh, I know Natsu.” The way she said this made him look up, and so much understanding came through in that simple stare. Memories of nights spent together mourning the loss of their dear one. “I know. You are her friend. And she’s yours. So why don’t you two go out together and hang out a little? It will be good for both of you.”
Silence followed her words, but this time it wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward. Just loaded. Waiting for something.
Finally, Lisanna sighed and look up.
“I guess… it would be good if we go out and do something.”
“Of course it will!” Mirajane cheered. “Now go. I have a thousand different things to do at home and I want some peace while I do so. Ah, but leave Happy here. He’s good company to be with when doing housework,” she said as she pushed both of them out and took the cat from Lisanna’s shoulder.
“Ahhh, we’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
“Yes, Mira-chan, I won’t bring her home late.”
“Yes, yes, take as much time as you want to!” Was the last thing she said before closing the door on their noses, leaving her message crystal-clear. Once alone, she sighed and hugged Happy against her chest.
“Those two need so much help. Sometimes I wonder why they put so many obstacles in their own way.”
Happy squished his way up among her boobs until his head popped up.
“They lllllike each other?”
Mirajane giggled at her accomplice.
“Of course they do!”
One step after the other, right and left, keep the legs moving. That’s how you walk, that’s right. Eyes gazing anywhere but her face. That’s it, Natsu, keep the awkward atmosphere going on.
Natsu was so frustrated he could have screamed. Lisanna still wasn’t looking at him, and she smelled just as uncomfortable as he was. Since when were walks with her this quiet? No, wait, he remembers the quietness. He remembers the peacefulness he use to feel with her, but this thing right here had nothing to do with what he felt years ago. This silence was tense instead of relaxing, too many words lost in the way out of their mouths.
But what could you say to someone you hadn’t seen in two years? Someone you thought was dead for two years? Someone you mourned for, someone you thought would never see again? Natsu was trying, really trying to find something to talk about, a comment to make, a stupid joke to shorten the distance separating them but nothing came to him. Just awful emptiness that screamed in his face the lack of connection there was between them.
Where was that contented silence they had once shared? God, he missed it. Natsu had never been good at expressing himself. That’s why he liked being with Lisanna so much. He could just stare into her eyes and she would read in his face whatever he needed to tell her. And wordlessly she would grab his hand, or hug him from behind, or just walk by his side humming a soothing song. Nothing else had been so comforting. So understanding. So needless of words.
Maybe that silent understanding they once had was lost forever. Maybe it was buried under the fists of monsters and the earth of tombstones. So much had happened. It was only natural, right? That they wouldn’t be the same people as they were before. The thought had the corners of his lips going down with the sudden heaviness he was feeling on the edges of his soul.
Natsu glanced at her, needing to see her, but she still looked distant, so far away even though there was less than a foot separating them. Lisanna looked so cold when she had always been warm to him.
The dragon slayer scowled with anger at this whole situation. He wanted it back. He wanted the connection, the understanding, the almost telepathic bond they once had as kids.
He wanted his Lisanna back.
He knew she was still there, insecurely shielding under that surface of awkward looks and shut mouths. But how could he crack this ice apart?
He stopped on his tracks as the answer appeared as easy as his smile.
He just had to burn it down. If something is giving you too much trouble, just burn the whole thing down. And to hell with it.
“Hey, Lis, this silence won’t do.”
“Eh, what?” Her head came up with surprise written all over her face. Natsu ignored her perplexity without so much thought, rested his fists over his hips instead.
“You were unable to use your magic in Edolas, right?”
“Ah, yes, I wasn’t…”
“So then, how did you get jobs done?”
Lisanna was taking a couple seconds to answer, as if her brain had some problems processing the words. As if the dragon slayer had shaken her too suddenly out of the silence and now she was having trouble relearning how to speak. But Natsu, simply waiting for an answer, was unfazed by this.
“I had to use magical equipment with lacrima inside.”
“Ah yes, I remember those. Edo-Lucy gave us some when we were there. They were shitty as fuck though, one use and they were all broken. Nothing as good ol’ magic, don’t you think?”
“Well, yes.” Lisanna’s smile came shyly to her lips. It looked like she was trying to remember how to make that simple gesture. “But in Edolas I hadn’t much of a choice, Natsu. I hadn’t those wonderful balls the prince gave to you.”
“Those were the X-balls. Mystogan gave them to us.” It sounded so weird to think of Mystogan as ‘prince’ of anything. “But anyway, then that means you haven’t used your magic in two years, Lis.”
Whatever progress in relearning of speaking she had made, it seemed to run away from her; she just stood there gaping at him.
“I… I guess I haven’t.”
“You're rusty, then.”
“… I guess I am.”
“Therefore, you need to practice and make up for those two years lost.”
Lisanna closed her mouth tightly, as if refusing to answer. Natsu stared at her with a cocked eyebrow.
“Right?” He asked as he crossed his arms with a smirk.
“I guess you are right,” she finally sighed.
“Of course I am.” He grinned then, all sharp teeth that should be scary but weren’t and eyes closed that were brighter than sunlight could. He snatched her hand and started running towards his home. “We need to do something about it!”
“Ah! Natsu! You’ll rip my arm off!” Lisanna didn’t sound too thrilled by the idea of running.
“We need to hurry, Lis! There’s two years to make up for!”
He dragged her throughout the whole of Magnolia and its outskirts, until they left civilization behind and the woods appeared in front of them. When the little cottage got into view, Natsu passed right by its side, heading to the trees behind it. He finally let go of her wrist when they stopped in a clearing Natsu usually used to practice. The girl sighed in relief as her whole body sagged, hands over her knees, her breathing erratic with the exertion of physical exercise.
“Geez, Lis. You are more out of shape than I thought.” Natsu’s comments were usually oblivious, straight forward with painful honesty, but he never put much thought on them. He just said what he saw, not really thinking that it could rile up the person on the receiver end.
That statement had nothing of innocent. There was an intended sassiness in his voice, a challenge that was nothing subtle. Lisanna’s panting stopped and she froze for a moment before slowly pulling up from her position and sizing him up with a careful stare.
She scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest.
“You, sir, are way cockier than I remember you being.”
“You sure about that, Lis? Perhaps you got too used to that meek copycat of me.” His hands went up to lace behind his head and he looked away in an undeniably cocky posture. “I expected more of you. Comparing me to a wimpy kid, Mavis but I feel insulted.”
“I-!” Lisanna was now smiling, torn between amusement and outrage. “I am not comparing you! Stop putting words in my mouth! I was just saying, it will take me some time getting used to this version of you again. Besides, Edo-Natsu is a sweetheart and we were really close, good friends! Don’t diminish him just like that.”
Natsu scoffed. Something in the fond way Lisanna spoke of the other version of himself had an acrid feeling churning his gut, but he chose to ignore it in favour of the smile she was now showing. Now, that’s how he remembered Lisanna being! All twinkling eyes and rosy cheeks. If she just needed a little playing push to get out of her hiding place, then he would taunt her as much as he needed to.
“He was a crying baby who loved transportation, Lis. I don’t know what you saw in him, I could never be friends with someone like that. Oh, but maybe that’s all your crappy social skills could get you…”
“Hey, stop talking of him like that! You are technically the same person! And-” Her head was hunched over her shoulders, her mouth set on a firm line, and the tips of her ears were red. Oh my, she was getting angry. And yet, the corners of her mouth were still pulling in a half, reluctant smile. “I’ve got great social skills! I’m friends with everybody in the guild!”
“Lis, your best friends are a flying blue cat and a fire-eating pyromaniac. Ask any random person what that says about you, and they will all conclude that your social skills are… well, poor at best.”
“Did you just admit to be a pyromaniac?”
“And a proud one, at that.”
“For the love of God.” Her hand was at her face then, as if needed there or else her head would fall, dramatically looking down, carrying the weight of the world in her shoulders. “You know, during the last two years my best friend used to be a pink-haired driver with dual personalities, so maybe you are right. I have poor social skills.”
There it was again. That gnawing irritation that had him suddenly really angry at that other version of himself. Natsu wondered about it.
“We need to train,” he said in a burst of energy, eager to forget the whole Edo-Natsu deal. “You still remember the basics of your magic, don’t you?”
“Of course I do, Natsu,” the girl huffed as she removed her sweater. The hem of her underside shirt stuck to the fabric she was removing, allowing a sliver of milky white belly to be seen, only to be hidden immediately after. Natsu pretended he hadn’t really seen that. That his gut hadn’t twisted at the sight. “Don’t take me as a beginner. I might have not practiced much during my time in Edolas, but that doesn’t mean I’m helpless. I still remember the flow of magic setting my body alive.”
She acquired a fighting stance, he feet separated at the level of her shoulders and her gaze attentive to his movements. Natsu startled a bit at that, but that didn’t prevent a smile from tweaking his lips upwards.
“I never said we would spar.”
“With you, what other thing could we be doing?”
Her mischievous eyes tugged something in him, and without him knowing it he was already in crouching position, ready to jump. He bit his lower lip, feeling excitement growing from within. Yes, this was the Lisanna he remembered!
“Okay. I’ll go easy on you.”
“You do that and I might just find an opening to defeat you…”
“Oh, I doubt that.” Now, Natsu couldn’t stop the grin that was splitting his face in half. “I’m all fired up!”
“On the count of three, okay?”
Sparring with Lisanna? He had never done that before, not even when they had been kids. This would be so fun, Natsu was sure of it.
“Okay,” he agreed before starting counting down: “Three, two…”
“One!”
She jumped to the air and the next thing Natsu knew, he was fighting off claws from gashing his face. Lisanna had transformed and now there were colourful wings were her arms should had been and sharp talons instead of feet.
“Animal Soul: Harpy!”
Natsu had to back off just a little before her powerful initiative. He remembers this take over, he saw it once or twice while going on missions with the Strauss siblings but he had never given much credit to it. I mean, how much harm could a giant bird cause? He had never really paid attention to the sharpness of those claws, or the speed of the wings.
He was now realizing his mistake.
Moving a step back and planting his hands on the ground for leverage, he swung his legs up and rotated himself over her.
“Fire Dragon’s Claws!”
His feet ignited in fire, creating a raging circle of flames around them. On the corner of his eye he saw Lisanna flying upwards, escaping the small inferno and disappearing behind the flare. Only a moment afterwards he had her on his back, bravely charging through the flames to surprise him from his blind spot, this time fully transformed into a giant bird. It was her beak what he had to watch out this time, and man, that shit was definitely made with some hard material.
Natsu blocked with both his arms, but Lisanna was fast and agile. Her talons were on his forearms in the blink of an eye, pulling them apart and away from his face to give access to her bothersome beak.
And she started… pulling at his hair? With her beak?!
“Ouch, argh… hey, that hurts! Stop it!” Natsu squirmed and struggled beneath her to break free, but the claws at his forearms were strong and that beak was relentless.
“You really thought I wouldn’t be able to tell you were holding back?” Her voice came slightly pitched high from this bird-like form, and drowned in her cheerful laughter. “Mira-nee told me they now call you Salamander! Is the great Salamander really going to look down on me? I feel disappointed!”
Well, that did it.
“Oh, you feisty girl, I’ll show you what Salamander is capable of doing!”
From shoulder to fingertips, his whole arms exploded in flames. Lisanna immediately let go with a squeak. Her wings were going to take her higher once again, but Natsu wasn’t going to give her the chance.
“Fire Dragon’s Iron Fist!”
His attack rained down on her, but while Natsu had destructive attacks and strength, Lisanna had the speed of her wings and the advantage of being a small target. She dodged flame after flame, strike after strike, her chortling still letting itself be heard throughout the attack. Natsu couldn’t help the smile in his lips either, or the giggles that left him. He always had fun while sparring; fighting turned his body into a live wire, more alive than ever. But this was different. It wasn’t the edging thrill that hollowed his stomach when he was fighting a powerful opponent, or the strain in his muscles that reminded him of how vulnerable he could be. This was quieter, simpler. Uncomplicated. Like taking a jump into a cold pool among friends in the middle of summer. The fun of an after-school game in the heat of spring.
He kept attacking and Lisanna kept dodging, occasionally risking advances of her own. They were still laughing, louder every second that passed. They were dancing and then they were just playing, two kids revelling in the innocence of childhood. Not troubled teenagers anymore, not scarred souls torn apart by loss. Just kids, carefree and gleeful kids, playing as if years hadn’t happened, as if there was nothing to worry in the world. As if laughing and playing was the only thing really worth to do.
Submerged under this timeless sea, Natsu really felt like time hadn’t passed. Like they were the same people as before. That two years hadn’t happened, that Lisanna would be sixteen next month and he would have to help Mirajane prepare her surprise party this weekend. Carefree. Gleeful. So easy and innocent. If only it was as simple as that…
Lisanna landed on earth and, too fast for Natsu’s eyes to catch up, she changed back into a human form. No bird parts this time, but for a startling moment Natsu thought she was naked! It took him some seconds to realize that she was cladded in a tiger stripped bikini so white that it blended with her pale skin.
“Animal Soul: Cat!”
What the fuck, Lisanna was even faster in this form! She moved with feline precision, sharp claws instead of fingers threatening to slice his arms apart at his slightest distraction. He ducked and heard the whistled of the air being cut apart where his head had been not a second ago. How could he retaliate? From this position a Dragon Slayer’s Sword Horn would be ideal, but that would finish the battle too soon. It was one of his most powerful attacks. He had no time to keep thinking because then his eyes made the terrible mistake to look just ahead of him. To be faced with Lisanna’s cleavage. Hidden only by a tiny tiger stripped bikini. A very tiny tiger stripped bikini.
Natsu felt the colour draining out of his face, only to return full force not a second after. Had it… had it grown during these two years? It… it was definitely bigger. Not that Natsu spent time looking at it, not at all! But just… those were things you noticed, right? And Lisanna was positively smaller before. That, or she had managed to hide everything with mastery.
Oh God, they were bouncing.
He forced his eyes to go up to her face where they should be because he wasn’t a pervert for fuck’s sake, but then he was met with a close look of her cat-like features and that was his doom. Little fangs stood out from her lips, moisten by the battle, and her small pink feline nose was surrounded by whiskers. And on the top of her head two big, very white and very soft-looking ears were born from her hair. Before he could stop it, Natsu was abruptly struck by some very dark and lewd thoughts that dried out his mouth and left a void were his stomach should have been.
He was punished for them soon enough though. His moment of distraction gave Lisanna the right opening, and costed him a deep gash in his arm.
“Argh, fuck!” Natsu recoiled some clumsy steps away, grabbing at his injured arm all the while trying to avoid Lisanna’s unyielding claws.
“I’ve got you now!” She shouted as she jumped and fell over him with the full weight of her body. Natsu’s feet stumbled and he fell backwards, Lisanna landing on top of him, her nails grabbing firmly at his vest to keep him in place. “I win!” She sing-sang.
“Oh, not a chance!” His hands went up to her shoulders and pushed her backwards, gaining him the top position. But Lisanna was stubborn if anything, and kept struggling underneath him, managing to get him off of her. They rolled around on the grass, one way then the other, magic forgotten, and the laughter was there again, filling the forest and caressing their ears.
“Okay, okay, truce, truce!” Lisanna cried after some minutes, after Natsu had gotten on top again.
He rolled aside and they laid there, side by side, watching the sky. Natsu was slightly out of breath, more from the laughter than the physical exertion. There were still some remnants of it, clinging to the corners of his mouth. He made no effort to get rid of it; he hadn’t had so much fun just fooling around in what felt like ages.
“How’s your arm?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. You couldn’t hurt me even if you really tried.”
“Who says I was trying?”
She looked at him, one eyebrow up and eyes a sea of slyness. Natsu should be bothered by it, but instead he found out her expression was making weird things with his heart. He sucked in a breath, regaining his composure and his next words were uttered with confidence:
“Next time you won’t manage to land a single strike.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Something glowed in the corner of his eye, and when he looked aside Lisanna was back on the clothes she was wearing before. Natsu was silently thankful for it. It was easier to concentrate this way. Lisanna was in no better state than he, eyes closed and giggles dying down into a pleasant smile. Natsu smiled, sighed and turned his face back to the sky, eyes closed and hands behind his head, relaxed and content.
They stayed like that for some seconds that stretched into minutes. Just enjoying the silence and Natsu was so glad to get what he wanted back.
But then he heard Lisanna moving beside him, and opened his eyes to find her sitting up.
He looked at her with a raised brow, questioningly, but she shied away when their eyes met. Once again. Why. Why wouldn’t she meet his eyes? Things had been going so well.
“This was… nice,” she muttered while dusting her clothes. “I haven’t had so much fun for a while…”
“Hey, stop looking away.” Natsu sat up, gently took her chin in his hand and turned her head around. Lisanna returned his stare with the wide eyes of a doe that’s been caught by headlights. Natsu was unfazed, gaze firm on her. “I’ve spent two whole years unable to look at your eyes. Don’t hide them from me anymore, please.”
She stayed frozen for a second but then moved her head inches away, just enough to separate from his hand, and Natsu dropped it understanding the message. She sighed, her eyes falling just slightly once again and hugged her knees, letting her head rest over them. Looking straight ahead. Her blue orbs dancing aimlessly over the trees. Still not looking at him.
He mimicked her posture, but his head was turned aside, refused to look anywhere but her. He wasn’t going to let her escape just like that.
“What’s wrong, Lis? Why have you been avoiding me this week?”
She stiffened.
“Natsu, I haven’t been avoiding you, I have just been spending a lot of time at home…”
“Yes you have, Lis. Don’t try to deny it.”
She blinked, slowly, gaze eating the ground. His tone had appeared more serious than he had first intended, but it was okay. Natsu almost never spoke seriously, voice always full of mischievousness. But right now, this thing, it was serious. So small, and yet it mattered so much. At least to him.
Butterflies were starting to fly around them, unafraid now that the battle had finished. The clearing started to come to life around them. Birds were singing and insects buzzing. A lonely bee set flight from a nearby flower, and Lisanna followed it with her sight.
“Lis?”
“I guess I… was afraid.”
That answer surprised him, popping out when he thought she wouldn’t say anything.
“Afraid?” Natsu asked, confused. “Of what?”
Of him?
“I don’t know.” There was a small, melancholic smile in her face. “Afraid that you might have changed. That things wouldn’t be the same between us anymore.”
Oh. So then the thing was mutual.
“So I,” she continued. “I guess I just… stupidly-cowardly-, tried to postpone it. Our meeting. As much as possible.” She looked at him, on her own accord this time, eyes bright open and unwavering, some sort of mirth dancing in them. “But you were having none of it, right?”
Natsu startled back a little, somehow feeling guilty but then he pushed it down. He had done nothing wrong by going to her door, he reminded himself.
“Well, of course not!” He huffed. His whole head rested on his knees and for the first time, he was the one to look aside. His next words came as a mumbled whisper. “I missed you. I wanted to see you.”
He heard her giggling softly, and couldn’t resist the curiosity to look at her face. Lisanna looked at him fondly now, tilting her head.
“I missed you too, you know. I guess that’s why I was scared. I was scared that maybe you wouldn’t be the same Natsu I left.”
The dragon slayer opened his mouth to answer, but found it empty of words. He closed it again and let his gaze roam the grass, mulling over what she said.
Lisanna let it slip. It was so quiet between them, but it wasn’t the same uncomfortable silence as before. No, that one had been burnt down by laughter and games and glee. This one was more like what they used to have before, easy and undemanding.
“I don’t think things can ever be like they were before, Lis,” he finally said. “I bet you’ve already realized that. Too many things have happened. We aren’t the same people we were before. You have changed… and so have I. You are now back to life and it’s great! I was so happy when I saw you here, in Earthland that I- I don’t know. I felt like my chest was exploding.” He sighed. “But… but the scars are still there and... Lisanna, I had to mourn you. Build a tombstone for you. Bury you.” Natsu had to make a small pause, control his voice, remind himself that the past was in the past.
“And when I think of the pain I felt when I lost you, it still hurts sometimes. It’s a deep scar. It will fade away, surely, but it’ll need time. We are both different. We lost two years of each other’s lives, and we don’t really know what happened during that time. And some changes, they are… they are irreversible. Trying to go back to what we were before is pointless, at least to my eyes.”
The wind whispered as it tangled between tree branches. The boy looked straight ahead, watching the sun go down and paint the hillside with shadows. He didn’t want to look at her. For a moment, he was scared he might have broken something irreparable between them. But the words had been begging to be spoken, and they were already uttered anyway. No going back now.
Lisanna was the first to break the silence and when she did, it was with a nostalgic sigh. Natsu hazarded a peek at her and found her stretching her legs, letting her weight rest on the palms of her hands behind her. Watching the sky with a fond smile tweaking her lips.
“Indeed you have changed, haven’t you Natsu? Who would have guessed you would become so mature?”
Natsu realized he had been holding his breath. He let go of it in a short snort as some tension left his shoulders.
“Well, it was bound to happen at some point.”
The girl’s small smile grew into a full grin, eyes closed for a moment, as if appreciating something that was lost to Natsu. She snickered then and looked at him playfully.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I was beginning to have my doubts with you.”
“Hey, I am a mature guy! Ask anyone about it. Oh, but don’t ask Lucy. She’s particularly adamant in saying I’m as destructive as a child in a tantrum.”
She cackled, and the wind carried the weightlessness of her laugher away. Natsu smiled too, relieved to see the tension had completely left them. Lisanna let herself fall on the grass and after some seconds Natsu did the same.
“Hey, Natsu. I know it won’t be as before. It couldn’t be, could it? But then, since we are different people now, and there might be some things we don’t know about each other, there’s a question I’m bound to ask you.”
The dragon slayer tilted his head to the side, looking at her curiously.
“What is it?”
“Natsu, do you want to be my friend?”
It took a moment for him to answer, that simple phrase transporting him years back, when he was only a boy too scared to socialize with anyone in the guild, half-frozen in a trauma of the past. It all came back to him, the smile that thawed his fears away, that made him feel warm once again.
Natsu smiled with his eyes closed in happiness.
“I would love to.” He opened his lids and looked at the wide blue sky. “We can be best friends.”
Lisanna rolled on her side to face him, her arms pillowing her head.
“Best friends forever,” she whispered.
Natsu rolled too and took her pinkie finger in his own, Lisanna’s eyes following the motion.
“Best friends forever,” he swore softly, looking at their intertwined fingers.
He lifted his gaze as Lisanna did the same. For a moment, their eyes connected and it was as if time stretched on forever. Lisanna’s white lashes captured Natsu’s attention. He found himself marvelling at them, wanting to touch them. Wanting to let the pads of his fingers travel through those silky, pale locks of hair. Lisanna was breathing softly, her mouth partly opened, making as little noise as possible, least it would somehow break the moment. Natsu realized he was doing the same. He was suddenly very aware of how plump her lips looked, and very aware of the fact that he wanted to taste them. Know how they would feel under his own.
Aware that he wanted to kiss Lisanna.
Aware that maybe, just maybe, Lisanna wanted to kiss him to.
But then Lisanna closed her eyes, and the moment was lost. When she opened them again their connection was still there, but it wasn’t quite the same.
“I’ve just come back,” she whispered, still keeping the noises to a minimum.
Natsu understood. He nodded, eyes closed. No need of words. They never had.
Nothing could be heard but the wind rustling the grass. Silence, comfortable and familiar. Natsu could take a nap here, sleep for hours. It was just that peaceful. Lisanna smelled relaxed and if he concentrated enough, his keen ears could tell him that her heart was beating steadily, slowly, sleeping already. He decided to follow her in.
Their fingers were still knotted, and they left them like that until they woke up.