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Chapter Text

Ashlyn felt like she was dying physically and mentally. Preseason was the worst two weeks of her life. She hated it, but at the same time, like every soccer player, she loved it.

She loved the soreness. She loved the exhaustion and the ice baths and the complaining from all the teammates. And as a freshmen, first year in college, she was ready to finally get a taste of what she really wanted.

It was three days in, and they were starting to understand names and positions, but it was hard to really get to know anyone on a super personal level at the moment. It was still that awkward stage with everyone, but one person.

“Ash, have you seen my shinguards?”

Whitney Engen, Ashlyn’s roommate for the year. They shared a room and they happened to share a bathroom with two other girls on the team. But Whitney was completely opposite of Ashlyn in the personality department, and somehow, that’s how they got along famously.

From her facedown position on the bottom bunk bed, she shrugged. “I haven’t seen any of your shit.”

“I thought I put them in the bathroom.”

“Maybe Meghan or Morgan took them.”

“We have practice in an hour. I need them.”

Ashlyn finally opened her eyes and turned her head to find Whitney in a bar and shorts digging through the closet. “Whit, relax. You have plenty of time to find them.”

“Coach is going to kill me.”

“No one wears them at practice to begin with. Calm down.”

“But–”

Ash glared at her. “Whit, stop looking and talking before I beat the shit out of you. I’m exhausted and need a nap before hell starts all over again.”

Whitney, finally, nodded slowly and stood. “Sorry.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“Yes, Ashlyn!” Coach Jill yelled with a small smile. “Not bad, kid.”

Ashlyn managed a pained smile as she stood from her dive, moving to get out of goal. She felt a small pain in her shoulder but covered it up as Alyssa went in next for her round of shots.

Hope, the senior keeper and probably current starter, nodded towards her shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Ashlyn said, rubbing it softly. “It just hurts sometimes.”

“Get the trainers to look at it after practice.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Hope sighed. “Alright, Freshman, listen up and listen well.” Ash cringed internally as Hope’s bitch face turned even more serious. If there was one thing about the number 1 keeper on the team, it was that she was terrifying. “If you’re the best for your position, you play. If you drink the day before game day, you get kicked off. And if you’re hurt,” she poked Ashlyn’s shoulder harshly, causing the girl to hiss in pain, “You see the trainers. Do you understand?”

Ashlyn swallowed. “It’s really nothing–”

“Hope,” Alyssa said, running over. “You’re in.”

The taller, darker, scarier girl ran back to goal after giving Ashlyn a stern look. Alyssa saw the exchange and gave Ashlyn a warning.

“Look, it’s best if whatever advice she gave you, you take it.”

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t advice. It was an order.”

“Well,” Alyssa said with a small shrug. “I’d take that too. Just do it.”

By the end of practice, the pain was bad. She wasn’t sure what she did, but it was hurting like a bitch and people were starting to notice. She tried to hide it, especially after Hope picked up on it instantly, and then another senior, Carly, asked her about it. And then Abby and Pinoe. They were all calling her out, and she hated looking weak and hurt during the first few days of preseason.

In fact, she was going to hide it anyway. No matter what, she wasn’t going to have some trainers say she needed to sit out for a few days. This is her freshmen year, her time to make an impression. Not to wimp out. So after the water break and final stretches, she was going to just let it go and head back to the room with Whitney.

Until coach paired them up for stretching, freshmen with seniors and juniors with sophomores.

“Ashlyn.”

The blonde looked up to see Abby walking over to her. “You’re with me. Come here.”

She furrowed her brows when she noticed Abby moving about ten or fifteen yards from the group. She didn’t want to go, but knew she had to. Whitney gave her a look as she walked by.

Abby pointed to the ground. “Sit.”

After a few hamstring stretches and this and that, Ashlyn was almost done. She was getting up to switch places when Abby shook her head. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Um, why?”

Abby sat down by her, stretching her legs. Ashlyn matched it as the older girl spoke. “Hope told me what’s going on.”

“Shit,” Ashlyn mumbled. “Look, I promise you that I’m fine. I’ve had a few shoulder issues but that’s a goalkeeper’s typical issue. We have shoulder problems. You field players have ankle problems. We all play through it.”

“I get that but the point is that sometimes it’s okay to just tough it out. Other times, it’s not.”

“Look, I know my body–”

“Better than the trainers?” Abby finished with an amused smile. “I’m sure you do. You can tell when something hurts before they can. But they can fix it before you can. See the differences?”

Ashlyn sat forward and wrapped her arms around her legs, wiping the sweat from her forward. “So what you’re saying is… Go to the trainers?”

Abby tapped her lightly on the shoulder. “Exactly.” And then, when Ashlyn thought that it was finally over, Abby called out to one of the girls. “Krieger!”

Ali Krieger. With so many people on the team, Ashlyn hasn’t exactly gotten to get to know everybody, and this player was one of them.

Abby jumped up, followed by Ashlyn as Ali jogged over. Her hair was up in a signiture bun that everyone claimed was her style, and she was built right down to teh core. She resembled the perfect soccer player. “Kriegs, Ashlyn, here, has to go to the training room. You’re heading there right?”

The brunette that actually had Ashlyn speechless nodded, engaging into that conversation as Ashlyn blanked out. Abby seemed to get quieter, almost like the conversation was secret, but Ash didn’t notice. She was too caught up in the person that was Ali Krieger, that when the two finally looked at her, she was completely lost.

“Um, what?” she asked.

Ali chuckled. “Nothing. The training room is this way. Grab your stuff and follow me.”

Ashlyn swallowed and nodded, heading off the field.

The two walked down the small road to the training room as Ashlyn finally asked what she was wondering. “Abby made it sound like you head to the training room a lot,” she pointed out. “Why?”

“Is there a problem with the training room?” Ali teased.

Ash shrugged, fixing her back on her shoulder. “I’m just not exactly a fan.”

“Ha. You hate it.”

“No, I just – I just don’t particularly like it.”

“Ben is a good trainer,” Ali pointed out. “He’s young but he’s smart.”

Ashlyn nodded. “So, why do you go? Just the typical ice bath or?...”

She seemed to look at little nervous. “Um, tenth grade, high school. I broke my leg in a pick-up game at the park with my brother and his friends. They were drinking and his buddy pushed me into one of the tables by accident. But I was sprinting by it at the time and basically hit it full force. It broke my tibia right in half.”

Ashlyn’s eyes widened. “Holy shit.”

Ali nodded “Yeah. Turns out, when they fixed it back up, about a week later I had a blood clot. I was having mini heart attacks and honestly, I could’ve died that night if I never made it to the hospital. Ben does some routines checks with me sometimes and keeps my muscles stronger. It’s more of a precaution that’s pointless but it makes me mentally feel better I guess.”

What could she even say to that? She didn’t have a clue. She’d suffered through back to back ACL’s in the beginning of High School, but those were simple procedures compared to, well, death.

“For someone who almost died, you’re one hell of a defender.”

That was the best she could come up with. And to her shock, it looked like Ali ducked her head and… blushed? No way.

“Here it is,” she said softly as they approached a small brick building. “Come on.”

They maneuvered through a few of the corridors before coming up to an open on, following the sound of a few of the girls, ice machines, and laughter.

Ash walked in and instantly saw the only male in the room in khakis and a polo, guessing he was the trainer. And an attractive one at that. Even she could see that.

He was tall, with light tanned skin and what looked to be a dashing smile. Fit. Genuine. Smart. Strong. He was a package that most girls would go for. And it was obvious quite a few girls on the team were smitten.

But Ashlyn, for some reason she can’t understand, cringed when he smiled at Ali. “Hey, Ali. Your stuff is in the usual place.”

“Thanks. And Ben, this is Ashlyn.”

Ben stuck his hand out. Ashlyn did the same, although not as enthusiastically. “Ahh, the one who hates the training rooms and trainers alike.” Ashlyn raised in eyebrow, wondering how he knew that. He chuckled. “Abby texted me and told me you were on the way and to make sure you actually showed up.”

With that, she rolled her eyes. “Right.” She hated feeling babied, and it was already starting.

“It’s her shoulder,” Ali finally said, pointing to the right one where Ashlyn had been rubbing it for a while. Ben nodded and Ali looked at Ashlyn with a smile. “Be good, yeah?”

“Yeah, right,” Ashlyn mumbled as she watched Ali walk off. Ben moved her towards a table, the rest of the girls seemingly used to the training room and bustling about like they own the joint. Ashlyn breathed a small sigh of relief when she saw Whitney walk in with Morgan and Meghan, or Kling as some people on the team call her.

Whit immediately spotted Ashlyn and walked over. “What are you doing in here?” She teased. “You told me that you hated this kind of stuff.”

“Abby’s orders,” she mumbled as Ben took her shoulder in his hands, moving it around. “And Carly’s. And Hope’s. And Christie's. And I'm pretty sure that Alyssa even mentioned it. They even gave me a freaking escort,” she added with a bit of sass, pointing towards Ali who was making her own ice bad.

Whitney nodded while Ben just laughed. “They like to win,” he told the girls. “You’ve got to understand that they’re the leaders here. After Michelle Akers, Mia Hamm, Briana Scurry and the other seniors graduated, they stepped in. It’s a system and a family. They care about each other, and they care about their freshmen being smart about themselves and their bodies.” He gave her a look. “I can tell you’re stubborn, but it’s best if you start to figure this out sooner rather than later.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Twenty minutes. That’s how long Ashlyn was able to sleep before Whitney was waking her up, looking just as tired herself. “Ash, get up.”

She mumbled a ‘no’ and pushed her head back into her pillow.

“Ashlyn, come on. The seniors called a meeting.”

She groaned. “Why?”

There was a chuckle that didn’t belong to any of her roommates, causing her to tense up. “Abby was right when she assumed you’d be stubborn about this.”

Ashlyn perked her head up and her eyes met Ali’s, who was smiling down at her with amusement. “I’m not stubborn. I’m normal. And normal people like to sleep. Especially when we have practice at eight AM.”

There was an obvious sign that it would take a while to get Ashlyn out of bed. Whitney knew this, and she figured Ali did too, so when Kling and Morgan announced that they were leaving for the meeting, Ali told them to go ahead. She’d get Ashlyn out of bed.

As soon as the door shut, Ashlyn rolled over closer to the wall, pulled her pillow towards her, and curled into a ball. “And by the way,” she mumbled tiredly, “My shoulder is killing me. Ben is an asshole.”

“It’ll help if you keep up the rehab,” she chuckled. “You’ll be fine. Now come on.”

Ash shook her head. “No.”

“Ash,” Ali warned. “Don’t make me do this.”

“You’re not getting me out of this bed.”

There was no comment at first, but eventually she started to hear a bit of rustle. Ali walked away, and Ash hoped that maybe she’d give up and she’d be able to get some sleep. But then, suddenly, Niagara Falls seemed to fall on her, soaking her and the bed in cold water.

She jumped up quickly, screaming as the cold water hit her. “Ali, what the hell?”

She shrugged, two empty liter bottles with the tops cut off in her hands and a smirk on her face. “You wouldn’t get up. Now, the seniors called a meeting, so let’s go.”

“I thought you were only a sophomore,” Ashlyn shot back, glaring at her. “Since when do I have to listen to you?”

Ali sighed, dropping the cut bottles on the desk and leaning on the desk with her arms crossed. “Look, Ashlyn. You’ll find that the older classmen listen to the younger just as much you guys will listen to them. Hope, Abby, Carly, Christie, they’ll all listen to you. But when they call meetings, especially during preseason, you’re there. Understand?”

“I just want to play and sleep. And I’m only getting one of those things,” she shot back, grabbing an extra shirt since the one she had before was now soaked through.

Ali gave her a one shoulder shrug. “It’s preseason. You either deal with it or you quit.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

There was a bit of a ruckus as Ali and Ashlyn finally entered the meeting in Christie’s room. They had an apartment like room, but there were six girls for three rooms, two bathrooms, and a living room and kitchen area. The place was pretty big for college dorms.

Everyone was already in conversation when Ali stepped in, taking a spot by her other sophomores. Hope, being the blunt person she is, gave Ash a once over with how soaked she was and blurted out. “What the hell happened to you?”

Every chuckled as Ashlyn glared at her and sat in the seat that Whitney saved her. “Ali is a sadist. That’s what happened.”

After a few arguments between the two and laughter from the whole team, the attention was finally drawn away from Ashlyn and towards the three main seniors now standing before the sitting team.

“Alright, freshmen, you’re probably wondering what this is about,” Abby started. “We’re going to give you the rundown. We do this every year to give freshmen an idea of what is coming and to give the returning players a recap of the rules and expectations.”

Ashlyn wanted to roll her eyes. This place was so strict. She nudged Whitney and whispered, “This place has so many rules that my head is going to explode.”

Whitney shushed her, being the goodie-two-shoes she is.

Hope stepped up this time, giving them a simple and intimidating look. “Here’s the deal. First off, I’ve already had to tell one of you this, but when you’re hurt, you go to the training room. You get it fixed. Don’t play through something that could hinder your performance. It’s different when its adrenaline on the field, and we get that. But after practices and games, you get treatment. Simple as that.” At the end, she looked directly at Ashlyn, who immediately looked away.

“Coach sees and notices more than you think,” Carly added. “Not a lot gets by her, so there’s no point in lying or trying to fool her. She can tell when you’re sick, hurt, mentally and physically, tired. Just be smart.”

They spent the next twenty minutes or so telling of guidelines (not so much rules) that the team agreed to follow. These ideas were put in as these seniors were freshmen, and the classes before them. It was like a tradition, and that was something Ashlyn could at least respect in a way.

“And we get it,” Abby said towards the end. “When we win, people want to drink and party. The team will get together a lot, so there’s nothing against drinking in season. Because if there was, Pinoe wouldn’t have made it a week.” The team chuckled and the shorter blonde flicked the older one off. “The point is, if you do drink and whatnot, be smart. Some people at this campus are assholes and not worth the trouble of having problems with, especially for the next few months we’re playing. Got it?”

Everyone seemed to nod in agreement. And then, Kling raised her hand.

Carly chuckled. “This isn’t class, Meghan. You can just say what’s on your mind.”

“So, like, when are we getting our warm-ups and gear?”

Hope, Abby, and Carly all looked at each other while the team laughed quietly, the freshmen out of curiosity and the returning players knowing what came next. Then, altogether, the seniors said, “When you earn it.”

Chapter Text

The entire team was together at the cafeteria the next day with big news from Coach.

After their morning workouts which consisted of skill and fitness training, Coach Ellis pulled the team in early and sat them all down to stretch. During that talk, she said that practice was cancelled for that afternoon, that they would still have their third night practice, and that she would explain later after details were finalized.

Naturally, that’s all the team would talk about.

Ashlyn was surrounded by Kling, two juniors (Alex Morgan and Tobin Heath), and Whitney. They were buzzing trying to figure out what it was, especially since everyone, seniors included, were confused.

“No, she’s never done this,” Tobin said, a girl with her hair in a pony-tail and a chill vibe about her. “Jill is normally more of a straight shooter, gives us schedules of exactly what is going on. She rarely changes her plans.”

“Yeah, but last time she did this, it was a few years before us,” Alex mentioned after swallowing a bit of her sandwich. “Wasn’t it with that Miranda girl, got caught drinking or something the night before a game? She called the girls altogether and had a massive meeting where she changed like three weeks of scheduling from practice to conditioning.”

“Yeah, but there’s no game to worry about,” Kling mentioned quickly.

Tobin nodded but still gave her a look. “Yeah, but it’s still preseason. That’s just as strict.”

“No one has been drinking,” Ashlyn said. “Most of us are too tired to breathe, much less party.”

“It could be a good thing,” Whitney said optimistically. “I mean, maybe it’s a reward kind of thing?”

“She doesn’t do that until the end of season,” Tobin said. “Which is when you normally get your gear, Kling,” she chuckled at the younger girl. Then she glanced to Alex. “But I honestly have no idea what she could be planning.”

Ashlyn sighed and glanced down the line to ask someone else what they thought. The team was along one long table, and as soon as Ash looked down the line, she spotted Ali again.

It didn’t matter who she was sitting with, or where she was in the group, or what they were talking about. Ashlyn caught herself looking at her and then staring at her, watching her smile and laugh at what the girls said. Ashlyn was too far away to catch onto their conversation, but she caught every one of Ali’s movements and laughs.

While being as sneakily as possible, she kept throwing glances over towards Ali all during lunch as the team talked about the situation. No one seemed to notice, luckily.

And then, Coach Ellis, her assistant and the goal keeper coach all walked into the cafeteria, making a B-line for the team. Hope noticed first, getting Abby’s attention to quiet the team.

“Ladies,” Jill greeted them, standing at the head of one side. “I’m sure you guys are wondering what this is about. And I didn’t want to leave you guys in the dark because I wasn’t aware of this until last night.”

She paused, leaving the girls in suspense. Ashlyn was genuinely nervous, though she tried to look as cool and calm as possible.

Then she continued. “Simply put, we’ve got a game tomorrow.”

Everyone looked at each other, kind of confused. Then, Abby spoke. “A game? Like, a game kind of game or a game? Or are we scrimmaging each other?”

Jill chuckled. “A real game. Against West Partisan University.”

“They won region on the West Coast, didn’t they?” Ali, much to Ashlyn’s impressed idea of her already, asked. She must really keep up with everything in the national level.

“Yes. It’s good competition. So we gave you guys a good, short training today. You have the afternoon off. I expect plenty of bonding and getting to know each other. The coaches and I are working on a lineup. And we’ll see you all tonight to set the lineups in play, get some work in, and a bit of recovery. Sound good?”

The girls all nodded, excitement growing specifically inside of Ashlyn as her knee started bouncing. Her first college game against the regional champions from the West Coast. Holy shit.

“Good. Their team has traveled here for their entire preseason, so they want a bit of outside competition. Get prepared. Relax this afternoon. Drink plenty of water. And I will see you all tonight.” She paused before looking down the table in the direction of the seniors. “And seniors, I expect the Freshmen to know the rules of game days.”

Abby, Hope, and Carly nodded. “Way ahead of you, Coach,” Abby said with a small smile.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn and Whitney had just showered and were sitting on Ashlyn’s bottom bunk bed watching TV when their phones went off.

Listen up, Freshmen. Since we have a little time off, we’ve got a bit of a surprise for you guys. Wear your bathing suits and get to the field. And be prepared to get a little wet. You’ve got twenty minutes. – Abby

Both girls frowned. “Um, what?” Ashlyn asked hesitantly.

Whitney shrugged. “Is this some kind of initiation?”

Morgan and Kling walked in through the bathroom, phones in hand. “Did you guys get that text?” Kling asked.

The blondes both nodded. “Yeah,” Whitney answered. “Any idea what we got ourselves into?”

The other two shook their heads. They had no idea.

So instead, they got dressed and decided to just go with the flow. All the girls wore bikinis, except for Ashlyn’s board shorts that she always wore when surfing in Florida, and they headed towards the field in t-shirts and flip flops. This was kind of exciting, kind of terrifying at the same time.

By the time those four made it down to the field, everyone else was already there. Ali, Carly, Hope, Abby, Heather, and Becky were standing in front of the rest who were sitting in the grass. A box sat at their feet, and Ashlyn eyed it with suspicion.

“What’s going on?” Ashlyn asked as they arrived.

Ali, who met her eyes with a teasing smile, answered. “Field trip for the freshmen.”

“What exactly does that entail?” Ashlyn pressed. “Are we being blindfolded? Driven off? Dropped in a random forest and forced to find our way home?”

“Yes, yes, and no,” she shot back. “Now sit down and we can explain it.”

Ashlyn wanted to fight back again, mainly because the brunette with a feisty side was… interesting, but she was nudged by Whitney who gave her a weird look and the group sat down without another word.

The other five who were “in charge” at the moment backed away from the group, Ali’s eyes giving Ashlyn a playful glint. The blonde watched her intensely. But the others talked for a few seconds before returning back to the group. Abby grabbed the box and called the freshmen forward. They all stood up and walked forward, Ashlyn looking at it like an alien from another planet. She bent down to look at it when Ali, of course, reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

Ashlyn looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

Ali challenged it. “Keep your hands to yourself, Harris.”

Just like that, Ashlyn realized that her last name had never sounded any better. She nodded once, moving back as she let out a “Yes, ma’am” with a smirk.

“Alright freshmen,” Abby said loudly. “Shut up and listen. You’ve got one hell of an afternoon ahead of you.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Twenty minutes later, Ashlyn found herself with Ali as a driver and her three roommates in the car, no idea where she was going. Because sure enough, the freshmen were blindfolded and Ali was designated to drive one of the freshmen cars. But just because Ashlyn couldn’t see, didn’t mean she couldn’t talk.

“So, can you tell me where we’re going yet?”

Ali, once again, sighed. “Ashlyn Harris, I’m going to put this in words you can understand. I. Can. Not. Tell. You.”

Ashlyn smirked at her playfulness. “Yeah, but why not?”

“Because it’s a secret area. Only the soccer team knows about it, and you don’t get to know about it as a freshman.”

“So if I wanted to come back here this year?...”

“You’ll be blindfolded every time.”

“Kinky,” she said with a small smirk, crossing her arms and sitting back in her seat.

She heard the other three chuckle behind her. Whitney spoke up. “Ashlyn, I doubt that’s the point of the place we’re going to.”

“Not saying it hadn’t been used for that before,” Ali said. Ashlyn could practically see her smile, causing one of her own to start up.

This was not the trip that Ashlyn expected, and Ali wasn’t the person she expected. Even with the blindfold on, she kept seeing that brunette’s face, and she wasn’t even sure what was so… enticing about her. Ashlyn had seen beautiful women before. Her ex-girlfriends were all gorgeous, but Ali was something else.

She seemed to spend the entire trip thinking about her or talking to her or teasing her. It was a mess in her head. And she was sure that she was going to get shit from Whitney and probably Kling and Morgan if they caught on about it.

After going from pavement to gravel to what felt like dirt, Ali finally pulled the car into park and cut off the engine. “Everybody out.”

Ashlyn went to move her blindfold when Ali’s hands grabbed hers. “Ah, ah, ah, Harris,” she teased, pulling Ashlyn’s blindfold back down and her hands away. “That stays on. Now get out.”

Ashlyn smiled at the demanding tone and did as she was told, stepping out of the car and leaning against the door when she closed it. She heard the bustling of feet and people moving from her left and her right. She stayed put trying to figure out what was going on when Ali came up next to her and grabbed her arm. “Come on. And don’t fall.”

“Will you catch me if I do?” Ashlyn teased.

She pictured Ali running her eyes. “I might just do the tripping.”

They walked with everyone else, and Ashlyn heard the hushed tone of the returning players and the confused murmur of the newbies like her. This was interesting for sure. She let Ali lead her and tried her best to keep her footing as she ignored the fact that Ali’s hand hadn’t left the skin of her arm where her sleeveless cut off didn’t cover.

Finally, after what seemed like a while, Ashlyn heard the sound of running water. And then, a few minutes later, Ali pulled her to a stop extremely close to the sound. She smiled at the idea of being back around water, like how it is back home in Florida.

“Listen up,” Abby’s voice called. “All of you can swim, correct?”

There were rounds of yes.

“No fear of water? No crying? No freaking out? Because if so, tell now.” Everyone seemed to be fine with it, and finally, after what had felt like forever between the field and the car ride, Abby announced that they could take the blind folds off.

And then, as soon as Ashlyn could see the sun again, someone shoved her forward, and she fell five feet off a cliff into a pool of water.

She heard laughter when she broke the surface, looking up. On the cliff were all the returners, sophomores through juniors, and in the water were all of the freshmen. Ali’s eyes had a glint in them as Ashlyn look at her with a look of fake broken trust. She just chuckled and shrugged and pointed behind the freshmen.

They turned, all getting the message, and behind them was a massive, huge waterfall that fell into the pool they were currently in. The pool was about sixty yards wide, the waterfall completely on the other side. But it looked to be about fifty feet tall, gorgeous and amazing. Ashlyn was caught in it when suddenly, something was on her shoulders (luckily it was mainly on her good one) and she sunk back into the water again.

When she came back up, Whitney was smiling at her, treading water. “Initiation is a bitch.”

That afternoon was quite the party. The freshmen’s clothes were soaked, but the returners actually got to change and strip into their bathing suits before jumping in. Ashlyn did exploring mostly, walking around and swimming to the other side to get a better look at the waterfall. There was a rope swing that a class from ’06 had put up. Cliffs to jump off of. And the tree line was cut back at one section, making a small soccer field that Tobin and a few others had taken over, juggling and kicking around.

Ashlyn made it to the waterfall and hauled herself up onto the small ledge. Her shirt had been ditched and she dusted her board shorts off as she wondered around. She wasn’t there more than a minute before she heard footsteps behind her.

She turned and sure enough, there was Ali.

“If I didn’t know any better,” Ashlyn started, “I’d say you were following me.”

“Abby’s orders,” Ali said as she walked forward, running her hands through the waterfall. They were walking on the small part of land behind it, hiding them from the team. “She seems to think that you can be quite the trouble maker. With your smart mouth, and your attitude, and all that. Someone has to keep you in line. And we don't want you doing something stupid like jumping off the top of the waterfall.”

Ashlyn chuckled. “That sounds like a good idea so, well, she’s not wrong. But I really don’t need a babysitter.” She sat down against the wall of dirt, staring out at the falling water. “I promise.”

Ali plopped down next to her, pulling her knees to her chest. Ashlyn found her absolutely gorgeous in her black bikini, sun tanned skin, wet hair, all that. “How about a friend?” Ali asked.

“Are you sure you can handle that? I heard I'm a handful.”

“Probably not, but it’s worth a shot.”

Ashlyn laughed at that. After a few seconds of silence, Ash asked, “So… Abby made you deal with me, huh?”

She shrugged. “I mean, yes and no? She figured you needed to be watched and I… volunteered.”

“As tribute?”

Ali laughed at the Hunger Games reference. “Very funny. No. I mean, when I came in, Becky kind of took me under her wing, and Hope took Becky the year before. It was more on the field, but it was a sophomore, freshmen relationship kind of thing, and it was good for all of us. And, I mean, I want to be there for you in the same way.”

Ashlyn nodded. “That’s kind of cool. So next year, I get to pick a freshman?”

Ali chuckled. “Yeah, sure. You can pick a freshman.”

“I’ve never had a baby sister kind of thing,” Ashlyn smiled. “That’ll be new.”

“Any brothers?”

“One actually,” Ashlyn answered. “A bit of a mess. He’s a good guy. His wife is great. But really, it’s more like it’s me, him, and my grandma.” She paused, looking down. She wasn’t sure how much she should share with Ali, but this was who she was. Why keep it a secret? “My parents don’t really… approve of my lifestyle, so they don’t really associate with me anymore like they used to. Hopefully, that’ll change. I miss my father like crazy sometimes, but my mom has a bit more trouble coming around. But luckily, my dad still calls and talks to me and keeps up with me as long as my mom isn’t around. I miss him more than anything. He was one of my best friends before this mess.”

Ali gasped slightly. It was barely loud enough for her to hear, but she heard it. “Can I ask what happened?”

“Yeah, sure.”

There was a moment of silence, and Ali finally caught on with a small smile. “Alright smartass. What happened?”

“They found out I was… well, that I am gay. And they didn’t really approve of it. Well, my dad really didn’t at first but he’s come around more than my mom has.”

Ali nodded once, looking down now in the same way. “My brother, Kyle, is my only sibling. Coming out to my parents was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. It was terrifying and he used to cry in my room for hours on end just thinking about it.”

“I did the same to Chris. I hated the feeling of not be comfortable with myself.”

“It’s incredibly brave what you did,” Ali said in a small, soft voice, barely audible over the roar of the water. “Not a lot of people have that kind of courage.”

Ashlyn nodded. “I just couldn’t do it anymore. The lies. They always asked if I had a boyfriend, and I figured that they would just catch on, but no. They lived in denial and it pushed me to live that way. And I hated it. So one day, I brought my girlfriend at the time home and just said it and kissed her. Chris, naturally, hooted and hollered and when he realized how pissed my mom was and how confused my dad was, he blew up. That caused my mom to get mad. That caused me to get defensive. It was a mess. My girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks later after I moved to grandmother’s house, saying I was having too many problems and she didn’t want to be a part of the family issues.”

Ali nodded. “How long ago was that?”

“Two months ago,” Ashlyn answered, ducking her head. “We dated in secret for over a year, and publicly for a month before she ditched.”

Ali reached over and pulled at Ashlyn’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Well, for what it’s worth, it’s their loss. You seem pretty incredible to me, and they’ll come around. Your dad already knows it. Your mom will figure it out. Just be proud that you found yourself. That’s more than most people can say.”

A smile actually broke out over Ashlyn’s face. “Thanks, Ali.”

“For being a babysitter?” she teased.

“No,” Ashlyn chuckled. “For being a friend.”

Chapter Text

The next day, everyone was in the locker room, Lauren blaring music as the team DJ, and a few of the girls were dancing that were already in uniform. Ashlyn walked in late, due to having her shoulder looked at by Ben, and smiled when Whitney called her over, saving a locker for her.

The best part, it was also by Ali’s.

“Hey,” Ali smiled when she sat down, giving her a knowing look before turning back to Heather who sat next to her on the other side.

Ash smiled back and ripped her shirt off to change. Ali looked away shyly, but Ash didn’t notice it. She quickly slipped into her keeper warm-up gear.

When she sat back down to pull her cleats on, Whitney leaned over. “First college game. You nervous?”

“Terrified,” Ashlyn chuckled. “I mean, I doubt that I’ll play but it’s still crazy to me that I’m even here.”

“You’ll be fine. Don’t stress. You’re a great keeper.”

“I agree,” Ali said as she leaned towards the pair. “I mean, Hope will obviously get the start, but you and Alyssa could get split time.” She leaned forward towards Whitney. “You too, Whit. So be ready. Everyone gets time in these opening games. Don’t be nervous and overthink.” She smiled at Ashlyn then. “And besides, you’re a great keeper.”

“I just–”

Ali pressed her finger to Ashlyn’s lips. “No. None of that. You’re going to be great, understand?”

Ashlyn nodded once. “Yea – yeah,” she stuttered once Ali dropped her hand again, giving her a smile and turning back to Heather.

“Someone has a crush,” Whitney said quietly, hiding a smirk.

Ashlyn glared at her as she bent down to fix her cleats. “Whitney. Do me a favor and shut the hell up.”

Back to the actual locker room, it was interesting to see this to say the least. It was similar to high school pre-game, and yet, completely different. For one, there was more room for dancing, which was a big deal for this team from what Ashlyn noticed. That must have been pregame ritual or something.

“Dance with me!” Heather yelled, grabbing Ali’s arm. She resisted slightly but was eventually pulled up to the middle of the locker room with Lauren and Alex and a few others. They were all dancing to different songs, old school, new school, and Ashlyn smiled the whole time she sneakily watched Ali.

Her spirit was so carefree in these moments. It was amazing to watch as she danced and smiled and laughed. She caught Ashlyn’s eyes slightly, and it looked like she was going to beckon her to come dance, but Jill burst through the door at that moment.

“Alright, everyone take a seat and Lauren, the music, off.”

They all hushed and took their seats. Ashlyn snuck one more look at Ali before turning her attention to coach, but she missed the knowing expression on Whitney’s face.

“Here’s the deal ladies. Starting line-up is as follows. Hope in goal. Krieger, Becks, Kling, Captain in the back. Lauren, Heather.…”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The team jumped off the bench as Pinoe put a cross in, connecting it with Abby’s head before it sailed just over the bar. Ashlyn had her hands on her head and was ready to celebrate, but no goal.

The game went on for a while before halftime finally came. The score? 0-0.

And that was when Ashlyn was told she would start the second half.

That was also when her heart started racing a mile a minute.

Whitney gave her words of encouragement, along with Kling and Morgan and others, but she was still feeling a bit of panic. She was confident and ready, but for some reason, she was scared at the same time. Hope came up, clapping a hand on her shoulder.

“Their middle striker is left footed. Be ready for that. 17 shoots from far out, and her footwork is hard to follow from that distance from goal. The outside backs are keeping everything under control on crosses, making sure they don’t come in, but Becky and Christie might need a bit of guidance with the overlapping runs. Got it? They can’t watch everything. You can.”

Ashlyn nodded towards the older keeper. “Got it.”

She smiled. “And hey. Good luck, yeah?”

“Yeah, thanks,” she said with a nervous chuckle, turning to the bench. There were a few minutes left and the girls had gotten the balls back out to kick around, stay focused, and stay loose. Ashlyn finished her gloves and ran some water over them when Ali came over.

“Hey,” the brunette said, a ball in her hand. “Need help warming up?”

Ashlyn smiled. “I don’t know if you can push me hard enough.”

With that challenge, Ali’s eyes darkened. “We’ll see blondie. Let’s go.”

After the short warmup, of which Ali could shoot a lot stronger than what Ashlyn got to see in practice, the game was about to start. They walked onto the field, doing their defensive huddle in which Christie took control, did their cheer, and before she knew it, Ashlyn was jogging to the goal. Her hands were shaking from nerves, and she didn’t catch a break.

Because within the first two minutes, the other team started to pull some passes together, one after another and before long, they were on Ashlyn’s defensive third. She didn’t panic, but as she saw Ali get beat, she noticed that Christie and Becky were marked. No help there. Ali was trying her best to get back, but the other forward was fast. Very fast.

Ashlyn didn’t think about it. She saw the girl take a long touch, and she used her instincts sprinting out.

It’s hard, as a keeper, to really remember what happens. Sometimes, it’s instinct that at one point you’re ready to pounce and the next, the ball is just in your hands. And Ashlyn suddenly had the ball, the opponent’s forward on the ground, as she curled around the round prize with the grass tickling her face.

“Ash?” Ali asked as she came up, looking down at her. “Shit, I’m sorry. She just–”

Ashlyn waved her off. “It’s fine.” She didn’t want to hear it. It wasn’t that she didn’t care, but they had to get back into business. If there was one thing she prided herself on, it was focus.

She got up, with Ali’s help, and gave her a small nod. “Just watch the cut next time. Don’t leave me hanging, Krieger.”

Ali gave her a small smile with a pat on the back. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” She paused. “You’re shoulder okay?”

“Perfect. Now get back to your spot.”

They had chemistry on the field. Corner kicks, goal kicks, when Ali should leave it or when Ashlyn should let her defenders control the game. And yeah, she and Ali had it, but it was just about equal all across the board. There was a good connection, and it just continued when Whitney came in, along with Julie. No matter what, it just worked.

Ashlyn was smiling like a dog who found a stash of bacon when Coach called her off halfway through the second half, allowing Alyssa the final time. Ali gave her a clap from her twenty yard distance and a smile.

“Harris,” Jill said with a stern expression. Ashlyn was worried momentarily, taking off her gloves. But Coach, when the eye contact was made, gave her a nod. “Not bad. You’re a natural with our back line.”

“You picked a good line to work with,” she said. She also could’ve sworn she heard Pinoe say something like ‘suck-up’ as well. Jill laughed.

“Get some water,” Coach said while shaking her head. “You did well.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Later that night, Ashlyn was on the phone with her brother, Chris. She was freshly showered. Whitney was already asleep. The lights were off and she found herself starting to drift off.

“You seem tired,” Chris chuckled as she started to daze out.

She just shrugged instead of giving him a sarcastic comment. “Yeah, well, that’s what college ball does to you.”

“I thought you only played twenty minutes?”

“Shut up. I still got subbed in before Alyssa took me out,” she hissed teasingly, causing Whitney to stir in the bunk above her. She dropped her voice. “Besides, it’s been a rough week, okay? Not a rough game.”

“Too bad you guys couldn’t score though. But you weren’t scored on so that’s a bonus.”

“Yeah, the defense is solid. There’s some connection to work on with the strikers and midfield, and even the outside backs will run up, especially Ali, but we still have some work to do.”

“Sounds like you’re having fun though. I’m glad. I was worried about you but you seem to be settling in pretty easily.”

Ashlyn rolled on her back, closing her eyes as she smiled at the fact that she’s gotten it so easy. “Whitney and Ali have helped a lot. But the team in general is pretty relaxed and welcoming. That’s always helpful.”

She yawned after that, causing Chris to chuckle.

“Alright, you, get some sleep. You’ve got practice in the morning.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” she groaned.

“You love it. Goodnight. Play good. Don’t hurt yourself.”

“No promises,” she smiled. And as she hung up, she started to settle in when suddenly, her phone went off again. She heard Whitney bark something about shutting it off and rolling over when Ash reached for it again. She was about to tell Chris off when she realized it wasn’t Chris.

It was Ali.

“Ali?” Ashlyn whispered. She didn’t really want to make Whitney even angrier, but she also didn’t really want Whitney to even know about this conversation.

“You trying to sleep?” Ali teased. “You realize it’s ten o’clock.”

“And I’m tired. What’s your point, princess?”

“Nicknames, really?”

Ashlyn shook her head with a smile. “Fine, what’s your point, Ali?”

The other girl laughed, and Ashlyn pictured her sitting in her bed shaking her head. “I just wanted to say you had a good game. For your first time and all. And I wanted to say thanks.”

Ashlyn frowned. “Thanks?”

“For saving my ass in the beginning of the second half. That striker was a sub and came out of nowhere. I wasn’t ready and that was my fault.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ashlyn said. “Just don’t let it happen again.”

“No, really–”

“Ali, I don’t care who stops the ball as long as we don’t get scored on. Make sense?”

There was a pause. “I don’t like mature Ashlyn. I want the goofy kid that tried to jump off the top of the waterfall and tripped. She’s less… formal.”

“I belly flopped!” Ashlyn groaned, touching her stomach as her goofy side instantly started to show. “That crap hurt. It wasn’t funny.”

She heard Ali’s beautiful laughter through the phone. “I laughed so hard I almost peed.”

“I’m glad my pain is so wonderful to you.”

“I’m not. It was hilarious.”

Ashlyn shook her head with a smile. “You’re such a jerk.”

“Yeah, well, I’m your jerk on your line so you better get used to it,” Ali teased. “But I’ll let you get some sleep. You need more beauty rest than most people.”

“Are you always this mean?” Ashlyn quirked, a slight teasing tone in her voice.

“Maybe,” Ali shot back. “Maybe not. You’ll have to get to know me to find out.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And that Ashlyn did. Granted, she got to know everyone on the team after the two weeks of preseason and once school started, but everyone caught on that she and Ali spent quite the amount of time together.

Whitney constantly teased her about it, being the only one that knew about Ashlyn’s little crush. They may have just met, but Whitney knew Ashlyn extremely well for the short amount of time. If anything, they considered themselves best friends easily. Whitney, luckily, was even in a lot of Ashlyn’s classes, and she was actually a genius. She was the typical kid that every father wanted as a daughter, and then there was Ashlyn.

In the first three weeks of school, Ashlyn was kicked out of two classes, got in trouble with the RA about a noise complaint from whoever lived under her and Whitney, and she might have told her biology lab teacher off for counting her absent when she was ten minutes late.

On the bright side, she had a ton of friends.

So other than school, she was having the time of her life.

And soccer was going great. She moved her way up past Alyssa, becoming second string. She managed to play in the first couple of preseason games, but she wasn’t sure how much time she would see now that the real games were starting. Conference play was much more competitive and more important. But either way, she was playing well and getting the credibility that she wanted.

And by the end of September, she was having the time of her life.

“How was class?” Kling asked as Ashlyn and Whitney finally arrived at lunch, subs and chips in hand.

Ashlyn shrugged, taking the seat in the booth by Ali who had been sitting with some of the other girls. They smiled at each other slightly before Ashlyn shrugged. “Awful. My biology teacher hates me.”

“I wonder why,” Whitney teased.

Ashlyn glared at her. “You should be thanking me.”

“Oh, really?” Whitney challenged. “And why is that?”

She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms casually. “If I wasn’t so bad, you wouldn’t look so good. You’re the favorite because she hates me. So,” she spread her arms out with a big grin on her face. “You’re welcome.”

There was a bit more bickering before Kling shook her head at them, turning towards Ali. “So Ali, how was your German test?”

“Alright,” she shrugged, playing with the rim of her drink. “It’s hard because I know how I would say things back in Germany, but the teacher wants me to speak a different style.”

“Did you at least do okay?” Ashlyn asked worriedly.

“Yeah, I mean, I did fine. I just hate that what I learned as a kid and what I’m learning now don’t match up. It’s kind of obnoxious.”

Ashlyn popped a chip in her mouth and said, “So tell the teacher. You probably know more than he does anyway.”

“I can’t just tell my teacher off,” Ali chuckled.

“Sure you can!”

That earned her a French fry from Kling, considering Ashlyn did exactly that.

Many people knew that Ali had spent a few years of what Americans considered middle school in Germany. Her family moved there for a while and moved back to America when she was twelve, moving to D.C. permanently. It made her well versed in German, where she still watched some shows and movies and listened to some music to keep up her fluency.

She just didn’t get along with her teacher.

“Hey, Ali.”

All the girls looked up to the guy who had walked up to the table. He was dressed in a polo, jeans, and boots. He looked like a frat boy, and had styled blonde hair with a dashing smile, even if Ashlyn hated to admit it.

“Hey, John, what’s up?”

John, apparently, leaned forward on the table, completely in Ashlyn’s person space to get closer to Ali. “So, that project in German 3, we have to have partners.”

Ali nodded. “Yeah.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to be mine.”

Ashlyn glared at the kid and met Whitney’s gaze from across the table. Her friend was telling her to keep her cool and relax, and Ashlyn gave her a ‘I’m fine’ mixed with ‘eat shit and die’ kind of look that made Whitney roll her eyes.

“Um, yeah, sure,” Ali answered unsurely.

John smirked. “Great. We can start tonight if you want to. After your practice.”

“Tonight?” Ali repeated, obviously not comfortable with it.

Ashlyn frowned as she looked over at Ali.

John gave her a pleading look. “Come on, Als. It’s just the project, I promise.”

What else was he implying exactly? Ashlyn though sourly.

“I know,” Ali nodded. “Um, yeah. Tonight is fine. I’ll meet you in the library.”

John smiled and nodded. “Great. I’ll text you.” He finally stood straight, oblivious to the look of death Ashlyn gave him. “Ladies, good job on the win yesterday. Can’t wait to see you guys play Friday. Keep up with winning streak.”

A few of the girls nodded and thanked him, and when he finally left, Ashlyn immediately turned to Ali, not saying a word but the brunette got the message.

She sighed and answered. “John and I dated for a while last year. We happen to have the same major and when we were kind of together, we signed up our schedules to be compatible.”

“The first mistake in a long line from Ali Krieger,” Heather, who was sitting on the other side of Ali, chimed in.

Ashlyn nodded. “How come I didn’t know?”

“You didn’t exactly ask.”

“Any other ex-boyfriends?” Ashlyn asked, feeling a bit thrown off but she refused to let it show.

“We weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. We were just hanging out. Not dating, but dated.”

“Any more?” Ashlyn repeated teasingly in order to hide her real tone.

“Only a few,” Ali said with a shrug. “It’s not a big deal. We weren’t anything serious. They never are serious.”

“It was a serious mess though,” Heather said once more. Ali glared at her. “What? It’s true.”

Chapter Text

“Can I ask you something?” Whitney said as she leaned forward across the table quietly, keeping a hushed tone in the library.

I pulled out one of my earbuds. “Sure, go for it.”

“You and Ali.”

“Are just friends,” I confirmed for the tenth time this year. “She’s straight, Whitney. Everybody knows that.”

“That doesn’t mean people don’t change.”

“Sure, people change. But that doesn’t mean it’s their sexuality that changes. It’s more likely that it’s their hair color. Most of the time, they know what they are at this point.”

Whitney seemed frustrated with me, flipping her hair over her shoulder and leaning closer. “All I’m saying is, I don’t think she’s as straight as you think she is.”

“Because you’re so good at reading people?” I shot back.

She smirked. “I figured you out in two seconds.”

“Oh yeah, well what about you and Kenny?” I shot back, causing her to blush and lean back a little. “Yeah, don’t think I haven’t noticed. You guys are always texting and I know it’s not about that project anymore cause that was due last week.”

Whitney was now red as a tomato. “Okay, so, we’re kind of talking.”

“And you didn’t tell me, why?”

Whitney shrugged one shoulder. “Because, I mean, nothing has happened yet. We’ve barely hung out besides school work.”

“Then hang out,” Ashlyn pressed. “Go to dinner or something. It’ll be fun.”

Whitney shook her head. “It’s not that simple.”

Ashlyn caught on quickly. “Whitney, is Adam still in the picture?”

Her best friend dropped her head to the table, flinging her hands up momentarily to show her frustration. “Kind of? I mean, yeah, we broke up when I came here but we still talk and he told me last night that he still loved me.”

Ashlyn thought about that for a moment. “Wow. Okay. So, how do you feel about it?”

“Scared,” she answered with a muffled voice, still face down on the desk. “Terrified. Confused. Lost.”

“About what?”

They both looked up at the new voice, watching as Ali took the seat next to Ashlyn, dropping her books to the table.

Whitney sighed. “Boy problems.”

“Tell me about it,” she sighed. “Sometimes, they can’t take a hint. And then, the person you want to take a hint doesn’t get the hint. And sometimes, you’re the confused one. It sucks.”

Both Ashlyn and Whitney looked at each other before Ash turned to her friend. “Um, Ali, are you okay?”

She was about to say that she was fine, but she didn’t. instead, she sighed and said, “It’s John. He’s… being John. And this stupid project is a way for him to just mess with me again.”

“What?” Ashlyn asked angrily, her blood boiling. “What the hell is he doing?”

Ali put a hand on her thigh, calming her down. Both of them thought it was normal, but Whitney noticed it and sure enough, didn’t think it was so ‘friendly’. “It’s nothing. He’s just the flirty, touchy type. And he’s not exactly good at focusing.”

“Is he pushing you into anything?” Ashlyn pressed.

Ali shook her head, removing her hand and going to her books. “Ashlyn, I’ve dealt with him before. Trust me. I’m fine. He’s more of a pest than anything.”

“I can kick his ass if you want me to,” Ashlyn said with a small smile.

Ali chuckled but shook her head. “Not quite, Romeo. Remember, Coach doesn’t exactly condone fights with students.”

Ashlyn shrugged one shoulder. “If it gets him off of your back, it’s worth it.”

“You’d kill him,” Whitney chuckled, but quickly recovered when it sounded different to the other girls than to her. “I mean, Ashlyn, you have no self-control. You told me about that time you slapped some kid in the face with a fish.”

Ashlyn glared at her playfully as Ali finally laughed for the first time. “That was supposed to be between the two of us.”

“Oh my god, you didn’t. What happened? I have to know,” Ali claimed.

“No.”

“Ashlyn,” Ali begged.

“No,” she said louder this time.

Whitney took the lead. “Since Ash is being a party pooper, this is what happened. She–”

“You’re going to tell it wrong,” Ashlyn interrupted.

Whitney leaned back in her seat, a little hurt and a lot amused. “Alright. You tell it then.

Although it’s not a story she wanted Ali to know, she knew that there was no going back now. Ali would keep asking, so she might as well get it out now.

“Fine. So what happened was this…”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

That weekend was the first away trip that was overnight. Ashlyn and Whitney had trouble packing their bags because they weren’t sure what they should take, but eventually they figured it out, packed an extra set of dinner stuff in case, grabbed their travel gear and put in on, and then headed towards Coach’s office where the bus would be parked.

Some of the team was already there, and Ashlyn instantly found Ali and walked towards her.

“Hey, troublemaker,” Ali beamed, leaning back against a pillar next to Heather. “You got everything you need? Cleats? Shin guards? Gloves? Prewrap? Headphones?”

Ashlyn mentally checked off the rest of the list as Ali called it out to her. “Yeah, Mom, I think I got it.”

“Just checking,” she teased.

The group as a whole chatted for a while that Friday morning before the bus finally showed up, Jill already aboard. They went through the regular routine, putting the overnight stuff on the bottom, taking blankets and pillows and headphones onto the seating section.

As Ashlyn stepped up to the stairs of the bus entrance, Ali grabbed her wrist. “Sit with me.”

She did, like she always did now that they basically knew who sat with who on bus trips, and Whitney texted her from her seat next to Lori to make fun of her about it from a few seats behind her, as always. Ashlyn flicked her off but otherwise ignored her.

Most of the ride was simple, watching movies, listening to music, chatting quietly. Ali, as it turns out, wasn’t a hugger but Ashlyn learned on their first trip that she was a cuddler. She’d abandon her pillow for Ashlyn’s shoulder all the time, or just lay in her lap, sprawl out in the seats with her head against the window. Ashlyn was always stuck on the outside just admiring her instead.

About three hours into the trip, she got a text that woke her up. It was from Alex, a few seats ahead of her, who turned around with a smirk on her face.

Roomies? – Alex

Ashlyn smirked and nodded towards Ali in question. Alex nodded and pointed towards Tobin, indicating the four of them. With a smile, Ashlyn gave her thumbs up.
“Stop moving,” Ali complained, her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder.

Ash chuckled. “Sorry, princess.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“Which room are we in?” Ali asked, yawning slightly since Ashlyn woke her up on the bus and drug her to the lobby of the hotel.

Alex looked at the key card. “202. Elevators are over here. Ali, the stairs are that way,” Alex said, pointing towards the hall.

Ali nodded and grabbed her bags, heading that way. Ashlyn hesitated, knowing about Ali’s fear of elevators and told Tobin and Alex that they’d meet them in the room. “Ali!” she called as she jogged over to her with the duffle bag over her shoulder. “Slow down.”

“You can take the elevator, you know.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

With that, the brunette let her do what she wanted and they walked through the stairs. They found Tobin and Alex in the room already, their stuff on the bed closest to the door.

Ashlyn knew that this is what it would be like, but now she was nervous. She played it off as well as she could, putting her bag down casually but she sat on the edge as she found the remote, trying to think through her life at the moment as the other three girls chatted.

She had to share a bed with Ali. Okay, she could do that. Ali is a cuddler. That, she could handle, she hoped. Whitney would give her a ton of shit. That was dealt with easily enough. Her emotions… that was a bit more uncontrollable.

“What about NCIS?” Alex asked as Ashlyn flipped to that one. Tobin nodded enthusiastically as Ali grabbed her phone, saying she was going to call Kyle before heading outside to the hallway.

“So,” Tobin said, sitting up in bed by Alex. “What’s going on with you and Ali?”

Ashlyn frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Ash,” Alex teased. “We overheard you and Whitney talking about it one day. You guys aren’t as quiet as you think.”

Shit, was the only thing that Ashlyn could think of. She never wanted it to get out to people that she may or may not have feelings more than platonic for Ali Krieger.

Tobin stood and came over to Ashlyn’s bed, patting her on the back. “Look, man, we know you probably don’t want the team to find out. We’ve kept it between the two of us. Unless others just catch on, no one knows. Except Whitney, of course.”

“Well, she,” Ashlyn said, pointing towards the door that Ali just walked out of, “can’t find out.”

It looked like the two wanted to protest, but Ashlyn shook her head.

“Are you really just going to hold this in?” Alex asked with worry.

The blonde nodded. “Yes, so no awkward comments. No jokes. No matchmaking.” She gave Alex a look at the end of that one. “And no games about it. I’m just trying to get through it in one piece. I want Ali in my life, and if that’s a friend, so be it.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

At dinner, Ashlyn was the last to show up because of a call to her brother. They were down in South Carolina, at some Italian restaurant. The team dressed up enough for jeans and nice shirts, and Ashlyn walked in last, taking the seat by Ali as she waved her over. Whitney smirked at her as she did, taking the spot by Lori and Kling.

Dinner went smoothly, the conversation flowing just like it always did with the team. Until Ashlyn got an idea due to the discussion at hand.

“So what are we doing tonight?” Alex asked with a mouthful of pasta.

Christie shrugged. “We can’t do anything too crazy. We have a game tomorrow afternoon,” she warned without pointing fingers.

“We know,” Alex chuckled. “I’m just saying that we have a bit of time left though. It’s only 9, curfew is 12, dinner is almost over, so why not go do something? How often are we around Myrtle Beach?”

Tobin chucked. “Not that I don’t mind breaking the rules, but Jill isn’t going to be happy about us doing anything outside the hotel. Just saying, we might have to be careful.”

Ali leaned forward and dropped her voice at the proposition. “I heard there was a carnival going on close to the hotel. It’s like a one mile walk or something.”

“Yes. Let’s go,” Tobin said enthusiastically. But then she paused. “But, we have no money. And Coach isn’t going to pay.”

“So don’t pay,” Ashlyn said like it was obvious.

All the girls looked at her with a weird gaze, especially Ali, who spoke up. “Um, what? Like sneak in?”

“It can’t be that hard.”

“It’s probably not that easy. Besides, imagine how pissed Jill would be if we got caught.” Ali protested again.

Ashlyn smirked, taking a sip of her water. “So, don’t get caught. It’s not like they have crazy security. It’s a carnival, not a Presidential meeting.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“This is such a bad idea,” Whitney repeated for the tenth time as the group walked down the street. Only Alex, Tobin, Ali, Whitney, and Ashlyn were down to going out for the moment since the task at hand was a need to know basis.

Ashlyn chucked. The two of them were walking ahead of the other three. “Why? You’re not going to get in trouble.”

“But how do you know that?” Whitney whined.

“Because this isn’t my first rodeo, won’t be my last, and I really doubt that you have anything to worry about when it comes to police. Like I said, it’s just a carnival. I doubt they even have fencing up.”

“And if they do?”

“We hop the fence.” Ashlyn chuckled. “Look, Whitney, you need to learn to not be such a cookie-cutter kid sometime. Break a rule for once.”

Whitney got defensive. “I’ve broken plenty of rules before.”

Ashlyn gave her a look, begging her to go on.

“I mean, like eating my dessert before breakfast and–”

She couldn’t help it. Ashlyn burst out laughing. “That’s not breaking a rule. Going skinny dipping in the governor’s pool at 2 AM on your sixteenth birthday, now that’s breaking a rule.”

Whitney’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

“Completely.”

Whitney was still in shock and awe by Ashlyn’s stories by the time they got to the carnival. The gates were closed to entrance, saying that they stopped selling tickets at nine-thirty. A fence traced all the way around the carnival, and Ashlyn scanned the area, looking for a way in.

“We can’t get in,” Ali claimed, stepping up beside Ashlyn. “The fence is too high.”

“Never say can’t.”

“Okay, then, Harris, how exactly do you plan to jump an eight foot fence?” Tobin asked.

She wasn’t sure. There was no way to climb it, especially with the barbed wire fencing at the top, but then she spotted something and started walking a hundred yards to the right where some campers were parked.

Ali noticed first as they followed, stopping when she realized what Ashlyn was implying. “No way. There’s no way. Are you crazy?”

Ashlyn turned with a smirk. “Yes, I am, because there’s always a way.” The other four stopped at her implication and watched as she walked up to a group of three guys, all of which who gave her a strange look. “Hey, I was wondering if you guys could help me and my friends out.”

The three guys, all older college or graduated at least, smirked as they looked at the group of girls who were obviously looking on with a mixture of confusion and amusement.

One of the guys, a brown haired man with a UNC t-shirt on, shrugged. “What do you need?”

“To get over the fence,” Ashlyn pointed. “And we need your camper to do it.”

“You want to climb to the roof and jump over?” he asked to confirm, a smile on his face.

She nodded. “You better believe it.”

“I can understand you wanting to do it,” one of the guys said, “But the other four look a little sketched out. Especially the blonde one.”

With a turn, she saw that her friends were a little worried. Whitney looked like she was going to have a heart attack. Alex and Tobin had their arms looped, half wanting to try this and half wanting to go back to their room. And then there was Ali, who, once she met Ashlyn’s eyes, walked over.

“Whitney is just a little nervous.” Ashlyn said with compliance. “But I promise you that we’re just looking for a way in, simple and easy.” She smiled when Ali showed up, and it was obvious that her flirt was on. “Maybe a few of them could use a date,” she added in hopes of getting the boys to agree.

“Hi, boys,” Ali said with a shy smile, the charm turned on to maximum. “Could you please help us out? We really want to get into that carnival and we’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” the blonde guy asked. Ashlyn saw the glint in his eyes and wanted to punch him but kept her cool. She implied it too, so she can’t get too mad. Hell, actually, yeah she could. Luckily, one of the other guys asked another question first.

“Are you really wanting to jump the fence? A pretty face like you might not land right without a little muscle cushion on at the bottom?"

The comment was a little unnecessary to Ashlyn too, but Ali stepped forward to where the guy was sitting, giving him a pleading look. “Well, with someone like you to catch me, I don’t have much to worry about, right?”

After more flirtatious actions from Ali than Ashlyn was not so comfortable with, they finally convinced the guys to help them out. Although, the only one that wanted to sneak back in was the blonde one that Ali was flirting with. Luckily, the other guys convinced him that they had to leave to get back to his girlfriend, to which Ali gave him a look that said ‘no way then’.

Ashlyn was the first on the roof, and she stripped off her jacket to throw it over the top of the fence so no one would get scraped or hurt. She turned to the other four. “Tobin, you up first?”

“Yeah, sure,” the chill girl said, stepping up. “What do I do?”

“The camper is close enough to grab the fence, so stretch your foot out to my jacket.” Tobin did, leaving one on the camper. “Now, push off and jump over. You’re going to have to land and catch yourself.”

“Are you serious?” Tobin said with shock. “That’s like a ten foot drop. How the fuck do I do that without breaking my ankle?”

“Like the tuck and roll,” Ashlyn said. “You know what I’m talking about.”

“How about… you go first,” she said, pushing off and back onto the camper.

Ashlyn shrugged but went first, doing exactly as she said. When she pushed off, her body sailed over the fence and she landed on her feet, immediately dropping down and tucking her shoulder in, rolling it out. She rolled a few times before finally stopping and standing back up, checking her bad shoulder that was okay and held her hands up for the next to go with a big a smile.

Ali struggled a little bit, landing right and laughing once she finally made it. Tobin said her heart was racing when she jumped up, and she kept hopping around excitedly like she had just won the world cup. Alex seemed to have her eyes as wide as a deer in headlights, just shocked she managed to do it as she stared back at the fence.

And then there was Whitney.

“Come on, Whit!” Ashlyn yelled at her. “Just jump.”

“I’m going to die,” Whitney claimed. “Or get caught. Or break something. I’m just going to wait here–”

“No, you’re not.”

“Ashlyn, you may be good at this, but some of us are more realistic. This is such a bad idea.”

Ali sighed. “Just jump, Whit. You’ll be okay.”

“Ha! But no, I won’t.”

Her patience was dwindling and Ashlyn yelled, “Whitney, just jump! For the love of God, jump!”

Whitney screamed when she did. It was so loud that Ashlyn turned around to make sure no one heard her, - which luckily there were enough rides that most people screamed for everything – and watched as Whitney finally landed and rolled. She walked over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder as Whitney lied on the ground and laughed.

“You okay?” Ashlyn chuckled.

“Holy shit,” she said, looking at the fence and repeating it. “Holy shit. Holy freaking shit. We just jumped over that.” She jumped to her feet, suddenly really hyper. “We fucking jumped the fence. Oh my god.”

“Would you look at that? Whitney finally broke a rule,” Ashlyn said when the other three walked over to make sure that they were okay. “Are you good?”

The blonde nodded quickly. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” Tobin chuckled. “She’s good.”

“So, what do you guys wanna do first?” Ashlyn smiled, watching as Whitney took off, not even answering her question. Talking about how she couldn’t believe they actually did that as she pulled Tobin and Alex with each of her hands.

Ali laughed next to Ash, walking side by side as they snuck into the crowd. “That was quite the plan,” she chimed.

Ash shrugged. “I can’t believe you guys actually did it. I didn’t even think it would work, but you guys trusted me way too much honestly.”

“I agree. You’re a lunatic and that’s never happening again,” she chuckled. “Abby was right about you.”

Ash frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You really are a trouble maker.”

Chapter Text

Ashlyn woke when her alarm went off, indicating that the group needed get down to the breakfast with the rest of the team. She rolled over and reached towards the dresser, laughing at Alex who glared at her.

“What?” she chuckled.

“Why do you have your alarm going off so early?”

“It’s our first away game on the road. I want to be ready,” she chimed, chuckling as Alex, Tobin, and even Ali buried their heads under their pillows. “Oh, come on. You guys can’t be serious.”

“We sleep until the last minute,” Tobin claimed. “So shut up.”

“I mean, I normally do too but you guys have to be excited at least a little bit.”

They all groaned. With a sigh, Ashlyn rolled back to Ali. They were on their sides, and Ali opened one eye to look at her. “What?”

The blonde smiled at her morning voice and the messy hair and the tired face lacking make-up. There’s so many few moments that this kind of thing happens, so Ashlyn made sure to take it in. “Coffee?”

“Please,” Ali begged.

“Come with me?”

Ali shook her head, wrapping her arms around her pillow and snuggling into it. “Too tired.”

“Pretty please with sugar on top?”

Ali shook her head. “Thirty minutes?”

“Ali…”

“Ashlyn…”

Ash sighed and eventually nodded, falling back against the bed again. “Fine. You win.”

“Good,” Ali smiled. “Now come here. I’m freezing.”

It was kind of cold, but Ashlyn had avoided too much contact with Ali last night successfully. This girl was addicting, and Ashlyn did want to be addicted to something when the affects weren’t as good as she hoped.

But Ali had already moved towards her, wrapping her arm around her stomach and snuggling into the blonde’s side, head on her shoulder. Ashlyn’s heart stopped but pumped even faster at the same time. She was about to panic, and she felt it. But she steadied her breathing, staring at the ceiling in order to calm down.

This was getting harder though. Especially last night, she’d catch herself smiling at Ali like an idiot. But luckily, all her friends there were fully aware of what was happening, so they were able to knock her out of it. She was just worried that Ali might eventually notice and pull away. That was also the confusing part. She wanted Ali closer, but it hurt every time too. This was not easy.

After twenty minutes, Ali stirred against Ashlyn, who had yet to even think about getting any more sleep. The other girl yawned and stretched, her tank top coming up to expose her stomach. Ashlyn tried her best to advert her eyes, but failed.

“Breakfast?” Ali asked tiredly.

Ashlyn smiled. “Finally. Let’s go.”

“Hold on,” she said, stretching her arms slightly. “Let me just get ready first.”

“For breakfast?” Ashlyn chuckled as Ali got out of bed.

“Obviously. I’ve got to look good. Dress to impress.”

“And the girl doesn’t leave her room without her mascara. It’s a curse if she does ,” Tobin inquired tiredly, rolling over to ignore them after that.

The two got ready quietly, kicking Alex and Tobin awake only as they were leaving lightly so they weren’t too pissy about it. The sleepy pair was thankful but still groaned something about ‘shutting the hell up’ before Ali and Ashlyn left the room with a small chuckle.

“Wanna split a waffle?” Ali yawned as they finally walked into breakfast, most of the team there and eating.

Ashlyn nodded. “Yeah. And grab me a banana. I’ll get your coffee.”

It was simple and easy with the two of them. Whitney saved a seat for both at one of the tables, and the team fell into easy, morning conversation. Apparently, Whitney couldn’t keep her mouth shut about last night’s trip and a few of the girls came up to Ashlyn with their words of wisdom and questions, warning her and the congratulating her at the same time. Except for the seniors, who kind of just scolded her. Kling was particularly excited about it.

That was the last time Ashlyn was going to help Whitney break a rule. Good lord. The girl couldn’t keep a secret to save her life.

Well… she could. But it was only one. And if that secret got out, Ashlyn was a dead woman.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“YES ALI!” Ashlyn screamed as she watched the defender slide tackled a girl, sending her to the ground and jumping to her feet with the ball, passing it back to Christie in order for her to switch the field.

“Excited much?” Julie chuckled next to her.

“You should be more excited. That’s the kind of tackles you defenders need to be prepared to do.”

Julie chuckled. “Okay, Coach. I’ll keep that in mind.”

The game was going well, and everything was in order. They had already scored, although it was still anyone’s game. Alex managed to put one away easily enough, and Abby had plenty of chances thanks to Heather and Pinoe.

And with that one goal, they ended up winning the game.

Naturally, Ashlyn was buzzing, even though Alyssa got the cap this time instead of her. She was just excited about how Ali played, honestly, and when the other girl came off the field looking sweaty and disgusting, Ashlyn still wrapped her up in a hug.

“You played awesome!” Ashlyn beamed, pulling away. “Seriously, kick ass, you played great.”

Ali blushed. “Thanks, and I wanted to ask you about something.”

“Ladies! Bring it in and stretch!” Jill yelled, calling all the girls together. “We’ve got to talk.”

Ashlyn and Ali partnered up for her to stretch, and they were stretching Ali’s right hamstring when Ashlyn asked what Ali was talking about.

The brunette looked away, her cheeks turning a little red. “Well, we’re closer to my family here, and Jill said that we might get some time tonight to go eat with our families if the team voted on it. My mom and dad are busy, but my brother was in town this week from L.A.”

At the pause, Ashlyn raised an eyebrow, switching to Ali’s other leg. “Okay?”

“Did you want to go with us? I think you and Kyle could get along pretty well.”

“Really?”

Ali nodded. “Yeah. And he wants to meet you.”

Ashlyn dropped her legs and pushed them towards Ali’s chest, causing her to lean over the other girl with a smirk. “So you’ve talked about me to your brother?”

Ali slapped her shoulder lightly. “Shut up. He was curious about the freshmen and when I said you were the troubled child, he wanted to meet you. Said that he can relate.”

“I’m offended.”

“You thrive off of that title,” Ali shot back. “Don’t even try to play the hurt puppy right now.”

She wanted to pout but she shrugged instead, pulling back and helping Ali to her feet. “Are you sure you don’t want time with your brother by yourself?”

“Positive. You can bring Whitney too, if you want.”

Ashlyn turned towards her best friend, who was smiling and changing into a t-shirt. She nodded, liking the idea. “Yeah, I’ll ask if she wants to tag along.”

“Great,” Ali beamed. “Let’s go.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Meeting Kyle was more stressful than Ashlyn thought it would be, but Whitney defused the situation as much as she could, which Ashlyn was grateful for. Being one of the three people that knew about Ashlyn’s crush, she did everything she could to keep anything weird from showing.

Kyle was also just like Ali in so many ways. They had a similar smile. Same dark hair. That Krieger kind of sunlight that came off of them that made people just smile around them. He talked about his time in New York or in California meeting celebrities and doing hair. Ashlyn loved the fact that he had a dog and they talked about Luna alone basically the entire car ride. And finally, at the restaurant, Ashlyn took the seat by Ali at the booth, feeling quite relaxed.

It was going well so far. They were just talking about school and soccer, how the team was doing, what it was like, what Ashlyn and Whitney loved about the university and what they didn’t. But it was when Kyle started to sip his drink and smirk at Ashlyn that she got nervous.

She wasn’t sure why, but it was like he knew something. He had that look on his face that made her nervous, and she started to fidget in her seat slightly, causing Whitney to notice but Ali, luckily, was so engrossed with seeing her brother that she was completely oblivious to the blonde beside her having mini panic attacks.

“So, Kyle,” Ali beamed, leaning forward over her empty plate of spaghetti, “Have you talked to Tom?”

Kyle, surprising Ashlyn and Whitney, blushed. “Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it. We’ve been on a few dates and Luna likes him, but I don’t want to jinx it.”

“But I want to know!”

“You don’t get to, baby sis,” he smiled. “It’s bad luck.”

After a few glares, Ali frowned. “Fine, I have to go to the bathroom anyway.” She stood and stretched, sliding out of the booth.

Whitney, much to Ashlyn’s horror, stood too. “I gotta go too. Come on.”

When the two were out of earshot, Kyle looked right at Ashlyn. “So what’s going on with you and my sister?”

Ashlyn’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Come on. You know what I mean. People as hot as you are not just friends with people like my sister.”

“As hot as – wait – what… I’m not – nothing is going on. We’re friends. Only friends. Completely platonic. I mean – I – ” At her mumbling, Ashlyn groaned and covered her face. “I swear, nothing has happened.”

Kyle laughed as Ashlyn started to panic. “Ashlyn, it’s okay. I can see that you’re a good person and honestly, I just want the truth.”

“Nothing is going on,” Ashlyn said again, this time more convincing. “That’s the truth. I promise.”

Kyle leaned forward, dropping his chin to his hand. “So you’re telling me that you and Ali are just friends? By the way she talks about you, it’s a bit more than that. You two are too close to be just friends.”

Ashlyn knew that she could be honest with Ali’s brother, but she still found herself defending the situation. “We’re just good friends, like how I am with Whitney.”

Kyle gave her a ‘touché’ look. “Yes, but Whitney is obviously the only straight person at this table.”

She opened her mouth to speak but what he said threw her off. The only straight person? The only straight person? ONLY? As in, out of the four of them, one of them was straight. And that person wasn’t Ali?... no way.

Ashlyn looked more cautious this time. She held up her finger, causing Kyle to smirk. “Okay, explain.”

He chuckled. “Sweetheart, my sister has dated nothing but guys, but she’s got a little curve in that river. It’s not a straight canal like she says or thinks.”

“So… you’re saying that your sister is gay and she doesn’t know it?”

With a shrug, he nodded once and leaned back in his seat. “Kind of. She’s kissed girls and whatnot, but it was mainly just being drunk at a party. Ali knows that she finds girls attractive, but that image of marriage and kids and all that has always been with a man in her head.”

Now Ashlyn was even more confused. “So, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that Ali needs a little push to find out who she really is.” Kyle turned towards the bathroom to make sure the girls weren’t coming back, which they weren’t, and turned back to Ashlyn with mischief in his eyes. “Ali isn’t touchy feeling. She doesn’t really cuddle unless she likes that person which I’ve never really witnessed in the first place. She doesn’t hug, like ever, unless it’s family. Yet, she does that with you. And she has this little sparkle in her eyes when she sees you or talks about you, despite the fact she doesn’t know it. It’s obvious that she feels something. And someone like you knows how to push.”

Ashlyn frowned. “I’m not going to push her into something she’s unsure about.” She was honestly offended that Kyle would think that of her.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said as he shook his head. “I’m saying that Ali needs guidance, and you’ve got the kindness, patience, and confidence to show her who she really is and that it’s okay who she is and what she wants. If you like my sister like I think you do, you have to patient but you have to know when to point things out to her to really get to her.”

Ashlyn thought for a moment, and finally looked Kyle dead in the eyes. “So, is this some weird way of you saying that I get your approval to date your sister?”

“Yes and no,” he smiled. “It’s a weird way of me saying I want you to get Ali out of her comfort zone. She wants to know who she is, and you can help her.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After dinner, Kyle dropped them off at the hotel and Ali and Ashlyn made their way back up to the room, finding Tobin on the bed and Alex in the shower.

“How was dinner?” Tobin asked.

Ali beamed, jumping into conversation about her brother as Ashlyn smiled and sat on the bed quietly, feeling tired. Her conversation with Kyle kept going through her head, over and over again. She found herself zoning out of conversations and just thinking about it. What if Kyle was right? How was she supposed to go about it? She had Kyle’s number now to talk, and he swore he wouldn’t say a word to his sister, but Ashlyn still was terrified of Ali finding out.

She sighed loudly after a moment, noticing that Ali was now in the shower for who knew how long and Alex was smirking at her in her sleep clothes. Even the TV was on and she didn’t know when that happened.

“You look troubled,” Alex chuckled, running a hand through her hair.

Ashlyn, without thinking, just murmured, “Ali Krieger is the trouble.”

“Here comes the Krieger Fever,” Tobin chuckled. “Was dinner that weird? You’ve been zoned out for five minutes.”

“Kyle had a few things to say that really got me thinking.” Ashlyn sighed, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

“He knows his sister pretty well. Whatever he said is probably true.”

That caused Ashlyn to sit up against the headboard. She played with her hands. “So if he told me that Ali isn’t completely straight, it’s true?”

Alex and Tobin shared a look as Alex slipped under the bedsheets. Tobin answered. “Dude, Ali has never admitted it, but I wouldn’t peg her to be straight as a board. Especially with how she’s been acting recently around you.”

That was what Ashlyn wanted to hear, and it scared her at the same time. “I don’t get it.”

“I’m not sure Ali gets it,” Alex said calmly. “That’s what makes this so difficult. I know I like Servano, so that’s easy and simple and it makes sense. Therefore, we’re dating. Ali never really admits to liking anyone. None of her past boyfriends, if she actually called them boyfriends. Nobody she was texting. Nothing. It’s like she’s in a constant state of denial about everything.”

“She’s also a people pleaser,” Tobin chimed in. “If she feels like it’s going to cause drama, she’ll put everyone else before her.”

Ashlyn put her hands over her face, rubbing it in frustration. “What do I do?”

“Be you,” Tobin said confidently. “Ali has a ton of friends on the team, but you two click to a whole new level, and that’s a good thing. Just go with it. I wouldn’t stress too much about it if I were you.”

Alex chuckled. “That’s because you’re as chill as ice. You don’t worry or stress about anything.”

Tobin shoved her lightly. “Not true. I get excited about shit. It’s not like I have no emotion.”

“You just have no stress.”

“Guys,” Ashlyn said, getting their attention again. She said it to hush them because sure enough, the water had stopped and Ali could be heard in the bathroom. Ashlyn dropped her voice. “Shut up and don’t mention what we talked about, got it?”

The forward nodded. “You’re not going to be crazy weird or anything right?”

“God, I hope not,” Ashlyn sighed. But when Ali stepped out of the shower, oblivious as Tobin and Alex started back on their ‘chill’ conversation, Ashlyn realized that she was in for a long night. Because Ali was just in her boy shorts and a t-shirt, and she climbed into bed without a word, curling into Ashlyn as she mumbled something about sleep and immediately closed her eyes.

This is going to be a long friendship, Ashlyn thought before she drifted off to sleep as well, a certain brunette tight in her arms.

Chapter Text

The words on the paper before her were only confusing Ashlyn, even more. Biology was a fun major, for sure, but sometimes this shit was just too confusing. Normally, she understood everything. Hell, she was actually one of the smartest in her class. But there was one section, one small, should be simple, not complicated section that she just could not remember for the life of her.

So with a sigh, she dropped her head to the table in the middle of the library, cursing at herself when she heard someone chuckled.

She looked up to see Madison – the girl who sits next to her in class. She was a red head with a bright smile, green eyes, and plenty of freckles. But she was funny and pretty smart. Not a genius, but what she understood, she understood well. And Ashlyn could use some understanding.

“Need some help?” Madison teased, pointing to the biology book.

“I hate this class.”

“No, you love this class."

"Fine, I hate this book."

"No, you hate this section,” the redhead said, pulling it away and closing it. “You’re never going to learn it by reading it in there.”

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn dropped her chin to one hand, smiling with a glint in her eyes. “What makes you think that? I’m not illiterate.”

“You need to talk about it. You’re too hyper and too much of a talker to learn any other way, which is how you remember everything else, right?” Madison took the seat by Ashlyn around the round table, dropping her books to the floor and pulling out what seemed to be a hundred flash cards. “So, let’s talk about it.”

They spent the next hour going over the cards quietly, and Ashlyn was easily starting to understand the phylums and classes and genus and species and what made what group and what chordates had what characteristics and she was finally actually enjoying this stupid subject again.

“Name the four important key points with a chordate,” Madison said, looking down at the notecard.

Ashlyn looked at her hand and counted them off. “Notochord, dorsal hollow nerve cord, the pharyngeal slits… and… fuck.” She scratched her head, trying to remember, suddenly coming up blank... again. “Shit.”

Madison chuckled. “Think about it.”

“I can’t remember.”

The other girl leaned forward and whispered something dirty in Ashlyn’s ear, causing the blonde to laugh and suddenly remember. “Oh, yeah. Post anal tail. Yup, never forgetting that again.”

Madison laughed loud enough to where the librarian shushed her from the desk. She dropped her voice but still smiled. “Sorry, but it helps me remember.”

“About your ex-boyfriend and your sex life? Yeah, that stuff would stick,” Ashlyn said, shaking her head in amusement.

“Just saying, you’re never going to forget it,” she shrugged.

“Hey.”

Both girls turned and Ashlyn smiled when she saw Ali coming towards her. That smile faltered slightly when John was right behind her.

But Ali stopped and said bye to John, who was kind of shocked and protested but eventually she shooed him away and took the other seat beside Ashlyn. “What are you guys doing?”

Ashlyn, shocked that Ali was suddenly acting like this, just shrugged. Normally she just drops by to say hey considering they see each other all of the time. If they don’t go to the library together, they don’t normally stick together. But oh well. Ash won’t complain. “Biology. Madison was helping me out.”

“I thought you were good in Biology?” Ali asked.

“I am,” Ashlyn shot back. “But some of this stuff doesn’t stick and I forget it. Madison was helping me remember some of it. Giving me tips and all that.”

The redhead, who happened to be drinking a cup of coffee, coughed on the liquid, covering her mouth and trying not to laugh. Once she finally recovered, she met Ashlyn’s amused look with one of her own. “Yeah, if you consider talking about anal a tip to remember chordate characteristics, sure.”

Ashlyn missed the pissed and confused look from Ali. “I mean, whatever works, you know?”

“Okay?” Ali said with a raised eyebrow. “Anyway, did you want to go to dinner? I’m kind of hungry.”

For a split second, Ashlyn wondered why Ali just didn’t go with John. Then she realized that she should be happy and went with it. “Sure. I’m starving.” The pair stood as Madison got her stuff together. “Thanks for your help by the way. Really.”

Madison shrugged, her bag on her shoulder and gave Ashlyn a surprise hug. “No worries. I’m happy to help. We'll probably need each other's help all semester, especially me asking you. I'll just text you or something next time.”

Ashlyn chuckled. “You don't have my number.” And she already had her hand out for the other girl’s phone. "Here."

Once they finished, Madison gave them both a smile and headed deeper in the library. Ali, as soon as they got out of the quiet space and into the hall, practically glared at Ashlyn. “What the hell was that?”

Ashlyn was taken aback. “What?”

“That girl. She was completely hitting on you that entire time.”

“So?”

“So? That’s all you have to say is so?”

Ashlyn laughed. “Yeah, Ali. That’s it. I mean, Madison and I are friends and were in the same major. And I don’t have a girlfriend. It’s not a big deal. I was just being nice and she's cool.”

“You were flirting with her,” Ali said with annoyance.

Ashlyn gave Ali a look. “Your point?”

It looked like she was ready to say something else, but Ali closed her mouth and shrugged. “Whatever. Do what you want.”

“Ali, what’s going on?” Ashlyn asked.

Ali shrugged her off. “Nothing. I see Heather. Let’s go.” And with that, the brunette took off walking faster towards their friend. But as soon as they reached her, Ali acted normal again, too normal. Sitting by Ashlyn. Laughing with her. Like that argument/bicker/whatever it was didn’t happen. And all Ashlyn could think was:

What in the hell was that?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was like that conversation never happened. Ali played it off so well for the next twenty four hours, but Ashlyn knew the difference because they weren’t texting or talking with just the two of them.

And finally, Ashlyn was so confused by the end of the next day that she confronted Whitney about it.

“I don’t know,” Whitney said, sitting cross legged on Ashlyn’s bed with her back to the wall. “I mean, maybe Ali is on her period or something.”

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “Really? That’s all you got?”

“What do you want me to say, Ash? Ali sometimes just acts weird. We all do. It might just be a weird week for her and it’ll be fine. I think you’re overthinking a lot of this.”

Maybe she was, maybe she wasn’t. Ashlyn didn’t know but she did know that it wasn’t good how easily Ali could get under her skin like this. And she couldn’t really talk to the rest of the team about it too much because she didn’t want them asking questions. Ali and Ashlyn were supposed to be the perfect friends according to the team, and the last thing she wanted was Ali getting mad about something this trivial.

So she basically just tried to think about other stuff, but now that her test was over, she didn’t have much work or much to worry about.

And it wasn’t until that night that she got a text randomly, and when she looked at it, her heart started to beat a little faster.

Can we talk? – Ali

It took a moment, but Ashlyn finally opened the message and replied as nonchalantly as possible.

Sure. Everything okay? – Ashlyn

Yeah. Is Whitney in your room? – Ali

She’s going to be at the library for the next few hours or so. Come on over. – Ashlyn

Her heart was pounding the entire time. She wasn’t even sure why. Ali was coming over, that was nothing new. They’d probably talk. Okay. Done that before. They might cuddle a bit but they’re just friends that do that. It is what it is.

So when Ali finally knocked on Ashlyn’s door, for some reason, she started to panic.

But she opened the door as coolly as possible, giving Ali a small smile as she came through the door. “So, what’s up?”

Ali immediately sat on Ashlyn’s bed, pulling her legs to her chest. “I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?”

“Madison.”

Ashlyn sighed and moved her way over. She figured that this conversation might take a while. So she sat on the bed close to Ali but kept her distance. “What about her?”

“Yesterday, I was kind of a bitch. I mean, I guess that I’ve seen you flirt with girls on campus all the time and something about her just made me so mad, you know? Your friendly nature already makes people like you, but she just... I got a bad vibe I guess.”

Ashlyn chuckled. “It wasn’t even really flirting. We were working on Biology, that’s it. I promise.”

The brunette played with her hair over her shoulder, looking down at the bedsheets. “I don’t know what came over me. I was just aggravated, I guess. John was making me mad and then I saw you and knew that you could’ve cheered me up but you just flirted with Madison and it was just a mess of stuff that was driving me crazy. I’m sorry.”

Ashlyn’s mind went to what Kyle had told her a few days ago. She didn’t want to overthink the situation, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t let herself go far enough to think that Ali liked her that way, but she didn’t throw that idea out the window either.

Either way, she just wanted to be okay with Ali. So she nodded and pulled out her most charming smile. “Apology accepted. You should know that I couldn’t stay mad at you, not that I was mad this time anyway. I was more worried honestly.”

Ali smiled to herself, dropping her head. “Either way, I was a bitch.”

“Eh, more of an ice queen, but what else should I expect from someone with the last name Krieger?”

“Shut up,” Ali chuckled, pushing Ashlyn’s shoulder playfully. “I just don’t want it to be weird between us.”

“I’ll admit, it was a little strange for the past day or so,” Ashlyn said, moving to sit next to Ali, pressing her head to the wall behind them. “I just didn’t know how you wanted me to deal with it.”

Ali turned her head and looked directly at her. “Next time I’m being a bitch, tell me.”

With a nod, Ashlyn smiled. “Deal." But she really knew that she wouldn't. The last thing she would fight back against is Diva Ali. "And don’t worry about Madison. Even if anything happens, nothing will change between us. I wouldn’t let that happen with anyone I dated. You got it?”

Ali nodded, looking away momentarily and then back at her again. “That’s what I like to hear.”

In her eyes at that moment, Ashlyn caught something though. She wasn’t sure what it was. She wasn’t sure what it meant. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was even talking about, but there was something strange in Ali’s gaze at that moment, but instead of talking about it, she turned towards their TV.

“You want to watch something before you head back to your room?”

Ali nodded. “Yeah. A movie sounds good. And thanks for letting me talk before tomorrow. I didn’t want to go into game day with the two of us being kind of… off.”

“You can talk to me about anything, Ali,” Ashlyn said. she reached for her hand and gave her a squeeze.

Ali squeezed her hand back. “I know that. Now, movie time!”

Ashlyn chuckled before slipping off the bed, holding up a stack of DVD’s. “Which one, princess?”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn woke that next morning to someone banging on her door. She groaned, putting head back into her pillow as Whitney moved from the desk to get the door.

“Ali?” Whitney asked in surprise and before Ashlyn was able to get up and turn, suddenly she was being crushed under the weight of the defender, pushing her face and stomach into the bed.

“It’s GAME DAY!” Ali beamed, pressing on Ashlyn as she lied face down on her bed.

Whitney just chuckled and went back to her desk, getting an online quiz before classes and the game that afternoon.

Ashlyn wanted to slap the girl on top of her. “Ali, its barely nine A.M.” Ashlyn wasn’t even dressed, only in some sweatpants and a sports bra, which she was acutely aware of at the moment with Ali on top of her.

But the brunette didn’t comment on that and said, “It’s actually almost eleven. Check your clock.”

“That is still thirty minutes before I usually get up for classes today.”

“Ugh!” Ali crashed next to her, propping her head up as she landed between the wall and Ashlyn. “Come on. I’m too excited to sleep.”

Ashlyn turned her head and popped one eye open, looking at the sight before her. It was always a beautiful sight to take in, but she couldn’t show that or say that. Instead, she just ran her eyes over Ali’s body, discretely asking: “Are you already in uniform?”

“What? I’m excited.”

Whitney just laughed. “Ali, you are a mess. The warm-up isn’t for another 4 hours.”

She just shrugged. “I’m just ready to play. After our win last weekend, I only want to play even more. It’s been four days since we’ve played a game.”

“If I remember correctly, last weekend I had to beg to get you up.” Ashlyn, after giving her a quick look, just chuckled. “You’ve already got your make-up on and everything.”

Ali nodded enthusiastically. “What? Look good, feel good, play good.”

“I know. Krieger motto and shit. Got it. But listen, my motto: Sleep good, feel good, play good. Get it?”

“Oh how the roles have reversed,” Ali beamed. “I wasn’t expecting you to be so against this. I figured you’d want to get up and grab something to eat, and after your class we can play some pool, chill out a bit before the game.”

Ashlyn closed her eyes again as Ali started to play with her hair. Her hands gripped her pillow in order to keep them to herself. “I’m kind of content where I am.”

They heard Whitney chuckle and stand up. “Alright, you goofballs. I’m going to the library before class to finish the paper.” She reached down and grabbed her bag. Ashlyn turned her head to look at Whitney who gave her a smirk. “I’ll see you before the game?”

Ashlyn nodded. “Yeah. See you later.”

Once the door was closed, Ali moved her legs to hang over Ashlyn’s back. “You know, I’ve been thinking.”

Ashlyn turned her head back to Ali but kept her eyes closed. “What exactly have you been thinking about?”

“Your parents.”

Ashlyn’s eyes popped open. “Um, what?”

“I know you don’t get along with your mom that often, but Ashlyn, you never really talk to them. You call your brother all the time, but you need to start calling your parents more.”

Ashlyn moved to sit up after that, but Ali kept her legs across the blonde’s body as she sat up, and they ended up lying across each other, perpendicularly. Ali looked at Ashlyn’s torso where her sports bra was the only cover, thinking that Ashlyn didn’t notice. “Ali, what are you on about?”

Ali’s eyes went back to hers immediately. “I’m just saying, that I’m sure that they’ve gotten over the problems you guys had before you left for college.”

Ashlyn sighed. “I’ve talked to my dad a few times over the past month and a half and while he’s changed for the better, my mom is still… resilient. He can’t even talk to me if my mom is in the room. It’s not really something I can change if I want to be who I am.”

Ali’s hands fell to Ashlyn’s arm, rubbing it slightly. “I’m just saying that you should at least call your dad a little bit more.”

“I will if you answer one thing."

"Sure."

"Okay, something must have happened to spark this on,” Ashlyn chuckled. “What is it?”

“I was just talking to my mom and dad on skype and we were talking about you and they asked about your family. That just got me thinking. I promise that’s it.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Ashlyn chuckled. “So you talk to your parents about me?”

Ali blushed, much to Ashlyn’s surprise, and looked away slightly. “I mean, they ask, you know.”

“Uh huh.”

“Stop.” Ali glared at her but Ashlyn continued her look. “Stop giving me that look.”

Ashlyn leaned forward. “What look?”

“That one,” Ali chuckled and poked Ashlyn’s dimple where her smirk was coming through. It was no more than two seconds later that Ali jumped off the bed, giving Ashlyn a playful glare. “Come on. We’re eating lunch before your class.”

“Now?” Ashlyn groaned, collapsing on the bed dramatically.

Ali chuckled. “Now.”

Chapter Text

What time are you out of class? – Ali

Twelve today, why? - Ashlyn

I was wondering if you wanted to get away for a bit. I had a test today and I’m kind of stressed out and need to just leave for a while but I don’t want to be alone. – Ali

Where would we be going? We have practice in three hours – Ashlyn

Coffee? There’s a shop downtown that I go to when I need to get away from things. – Ali

Sure. I’ll be in your room after class – Ashlyn

Great. And thanks for doing this. – Ali

No problem, Ali. Anytime. – Ashlyn

The coffee shop itself was nice. Ali had drove the pair, pointing out new restaurants that Ashlyn had yet to see or try since moving here. It was similar to one that was back in Florida, so Ashlyn was a little excited about it.

The simplicity was nice. It was quiet and in a smaller part of town, more out of the way. Kind of like a random place that you stumble upon accidentally, not because you’re looking. And it was nice to be there with Ali too, obviously.

They sat at the back at a small table across from each other, and Ali had barely spoken the whole trip. She was chewing her bottom lip and looking down at the cup before and Ashlyn about lost her mind and eventually just blurted out, “Ali, this isn’t about your test. What in the world is going on?”

The brunette, dressed in skinny jeans and a tank top with a light jacket, sighed and ran her hands through her hair. “I’m so frustrated.”

“With what?”

“Everything,” Ali sighed.

Ashlyn leaned forward. “I’m going to need a little bit more than that.”

“My dad called me,” she said in a low voice. “My brother… he relapsed last night.”

Ashlyn tensed. She knew what that was about due to Chris and her parents. Chris had a problem and fixed it, never relapsed, got married. But she understood the worry. For a while, she just stayed quiet, not sure what to say. But finally, she was able to manage a weak response. “How?”

Ali shook her head. “They don’t know how or why or what in the world he was thinking. He showed up to his apartment drunk and Max was able to calm him down after a bit of a fight and a few punches, and he called my parents. Kyle had been sober for four months,” Ali gripped her head tightly. “And he seemed to be fine at my game last weekend. Like nothing was wrong.”

“Maybe something snapped?” Ashlyn asked. “Sometimes, it doesn’t take much.”

Ali just shook her head. “I don’t want to see him like that again. It’s just… it’s not good.”

“Did they call the rehabilitation center?” Ashlyn asked.

To her surprise, the brunette looked up and shook her head. “Max said he was going to try to handle him. Kyle was doing well before so maybe he just needs a stern talking to. I was going to call him today and see how it was going, but I needed a break from reality for a minute before that.”

Ashlyn nodded. “Well, if you need anything…”

“I can count on you,” Ali smiled. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

They were quiet for a moment. Ashlyn took a moment to really look at Ali. She noticed how tired the brunette was. Her hair wasn’t as put together as normal, not that Ashlyn minded. And her make-up, although still present, was a bit out of order. She just looked less put together and more of a mess but Ashlyn still thought that Ali was gorgeous either way.

But she always looked perfect and put together, so the fact that Kyle stopped her from doing what she always did worried Ashlyn. It could impact Ali more than she wanted it to.

“Hey,” Ashlyn called, getting Ali’s attention away from her cup and towards the blonde again. “Retail therapy?”

With that, Ali actually broke a smile. “Are you sure you can handle me when I’m shopping?”

“Absolutely. We have that stupid mid-October pre–Halloween Dance thingy coming up, and I’m pretty sure you need an outfit.”

With that, Ali’s true smile broke through. “Don’t you need one too?” Ashlyn nodded solemnly because honestly, she wasn’t really about that shopping life for herself. She loved dressing up and goofing off, but shopping for it was annoying. But Ali beamed still. “Let’s do it.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The pair was wondering around randomly from store to store in the outlet malls, and Ashlyn was checking the time. They still had about an hour before practice and it was about a fifteen minute drive back, but she was starting to get tired.

She sat outside the waiting room for Ali to step back out.

“I don’t like it,” Ali said from behind the door.

Ashlyn sighed. “Let me see it first. Don’t just be judgmental about the thing. I’m sure it looks great.”

Finally, she stepped out and sighed. Granted, the costume wasn’t the best. Ali tried on a ninja turtle one, modeled the typical sexy nurse because why not, and even tried on a Cinderella dress. Although Ashlyn liked all of them, Ali wasn’t happy.

And even now, Ashlyn could agree that the outfit she had on wasn’t for her. Ali’s legs were covered in black leather, with a red leather jacket and a bow and arrow strapped to the back. She was supposed to be the Red Arrow, the one that Roy Harper was in the TV show. And it didn’t work.

“You look hot,” Ashlyn said honestly, cringing at that but quickly added, “But it’s just not you.”

“I know,” Ali sighed, turning towards the mirror. “I love leather, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t help that this character is a dude.”

“I could be Red Arrow and you could be Speedy.”

Ali smirked as she turned towards Ashlyn, her hands on her hips. “Don’t they date in the TV show?”

Ashlyn started to cuss at herself - Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Way to go Ashlyn. Way to blow your cover, you fucking idiot. Could you sound anymore needy right now? Probably not. Smooth, you moron.

She recovered fast enough. “Yeah, or I mean, John can go with you. It would make more sense anyway. I’m not sure why I even suggested it. I didn’t know if you had a date to the dance or anything so–”

Ali’s smile grew even bigger. “Are you asking me to go to the Halloween Costume Dance with you?”

Now, Ashlyn was sweating. “No, it’s just, we – I mean you can if you wanted to. I just, I figured – Last I heard, you and John weren’t all that great so I thought maybe I could step in as a friend, you know?”

With a shrug, Ali turned back towards the mirror. “Sure, why not? It’ll be fun to go without a real date this year.”

Ashlyn sighed at that and stood up, wiping her sweating hands on her knees. “We should probably head back for practice.”

“So are we doing couple’s costumes or just regular costumes and we’re just going together?”

Ashlyn was looking everywhere but Ali at this point. “Um, I mean, we’re not a couple so we’re not really going together.”

“No, silly,” Ali chuckled, turning back to Ashlyn when the other girl looked up shyly. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn mumbled. “I mean, whatever you want to wear is okay with me, I guess.”

“So I can pick your costume?” Ali beamed.

With that kind of excitement… “Sure, why not?”

“This is going to be great!” the brunette chuckled, running towards Ashlyn and jumping on her. Ashlyn held her close, acutely aware of what transpired and started to think of ideas on how to deal with it. She would be drinking, along with the rest of the team, after they win their game that day. So, this was about to be a struggle for her emotions.

“Come on,” Ali smiled when she pulled back. “We have practice and I have planning to do.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn crashed to the ground with the ball in her hands, tucking it in. Carly just had a perfect shot, almost, but Ashlyn managed to dive and even managed to hold it, not just deflect it. Even though it kind of tweaked her shoulder again, she smiled at the fact that she got it and laughed when Carly gave her a frustrated look.

“Not bad,” Hope said next to the goal as the next shooters came up to the drill. “Keep it up, Harris.”

Surprisingly, she did. The stress that was the Halloween dance at the end of the week had her in a panic, and she was excited at the same time, bringing her game up. Apparently, stress helped her play well.

After a few more shots, Alyssa switched in and Ashlyn stepped out, wiping a bit of sweat off her forehead with her sleeve.

Hope eyed her quietly and after a moment, Ashlyn couldn’t take it. “What?”

The older keeper chuckled. “I heard the news.”

“What news?”

“The Krieger-Harris duo for the dance news.”

Ashlyn’s eyes almost jumped out of her skull. “What? How?”

“Ali’s told about the whole team by now, running her mouth all practice.”

Ashlyn swallowed. “It’s been two hours and the team already knows?”

Hope leaned against the pole as Alyssa caught a shot, smirking at Ashlyn. “You know, Ali is excited to just have fun. And you’re just nervous. Care to explain why?” Hope said it like she knew something, and that worried Ashlyn. Based on her reaction, how many people on the team thought the same thing?

“What are you implying, Hope?” Ashlyn said harshly.

“Nothing,” the older keeper said, putting her hands up defensively. “Not a thing, freshman.”

And yet, she kept getting little notions from people all practice. One in particular, from Pinoe, was a smack on the butt and a knowing smirk, pointing towards Ali.

Kelley thought it would be funny to make a comment about couple’s costumes.

Whitney gave her a sympathetic look that was mixed with amusement.

Alex and Tobin confronted her about it, asking what the plan was.

By the end of practice, she was about to pull her hair out. After Jill ended it, she quickly grabbed her stuff and was basically running to the training room – Jill told Ben to keep her informed on Ashlyn’s rehab, unfortunately, which means she couldn't skip out – when Whitney caught up to her.

“Hey, slow down,” Whitney yelled, giving her a worried look. “You know the team is just joking right? The only people who still know the truth are me, Alex, and Tobin. The rest of the team just finds it funny to tease you but they don’t think it’s serious. You guys are best friends, for Christ’s sakes. I mean, if you two aren’t teased, are you even that close?”

Ashlyn sighed, rubbing at her eyes. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“I think Hope knows though,” Ashlyn claimed. “She’s smart and observant, and her comments weren’t so teasing today.”

“I doubt that anyone cares,” the other said, giving Ashlyn’s shoulder a squeeze. “I mean, you’re freaking out about Ali knowing, but what’s so bad about the team knowing?”

Ashlyn practically laughed out loud. “The team is a bunch of college girls. What about that makes you think that they can keep a secret? If almost thirty people know one secret, someone is bound to tell Ali by accident or someone will run their mouths and then it’ll just be weird.”

“You and Ali are best friends, Ash. It’s not going to change anything.”

“It will,” Ashlyn insisted as her phone went off. “And I promised her that nothing would ever change between us.”

It was a text: Hey, you stormed out of practice today. I thought you played well so I was wondering if something was bothering you. I saw you talking to Hope quite a bit. Is everything okay? – Ali

She sighed and showed the message to Whitney, who shrugged and said, “You could just tell her.”

“No.”

“Ash–”

“Whitney, she’s still kind of talking to John and–”

“No, it’s another project.” Whitney said, stepping up towards the training room entrance. “Not a date. I know you get jealous about it, but Ali doesn’t like him like that. You of all people know that.”
“I’m still going to think it anyway.”

“Well stop.” Before they entered the training room, Whitney stopped and put a hand on her shoulder. “Look, Ashlyn. The team knows you two are close, so they’ll tease you about anything. It’s how it always is. So just calm down. Nobody suspects anything. It’s a joke. They know you two aren’t together, so relax. Okay?”

She sighed and nodded before entering the training room. “Okay.”

She responded: Yeah, I’m fine. Just kind of tired. The strikers put the heat on today so I just wanted to get my shoulder looked at before the team bombards Ben. – Ashlyn

Are you sure? – Ali

Positive. It’s all good! – Ashlyn

Alright. Text me if you want to go to dinner at the caf. And I’ll let you know about the costume ideas, so no changing your mind! You’re my official date. Deal with it. – Ali

Don’t worry. I’ll be there, princess – Ashlyn

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“I still don’t get why you’re so stressed,” Alex said nonchalantly from her bed.

The three of them, Ashlyn, Alex, and Tobin, were all sitting in Tobin’s room talking the afternoon of the Halloween party. People have died down about the talk with Ashlyn and Ali, which had eased Ashlyn’s worry a little bit. It was obviously a joke to them, but it still wasn’t to Ashlyn.

The game was earlier that morning, and they ended up winning 2-1. So a good vibe should’ve been going around already. With actual Halloween coming up in two weeks and the school putting on the early dance, the next few weeks were going to be busy starting with today.

Tobin chuckled at Alex’s comment, lying on the floor next to Ashlyn with her arms behind her head as music played from their Bluetooth speakers. “I think Ashlyn is trying to say that when she drinks, she gets handsy.”

“Doesn’t everybody?” Alex chuckled.

Ashlyn groaned and rolled over to her stomach, burying her head in her arms. “I can’t drink tonight. That’s the only way.”

“No way!” Alex almost yelled. “I’ve been too excited to see a hammered Ashlyn try to dance. You’re the biggest troubled child on the team and I want to see you at your worst. I’ve seen you drunk, not smashed, and it’s time to change that.”

“Good to know this amusement is only for you,” Ashlyn said with a glare at Alex’s direction.
Tobin sat up, pushing her back to the edge of the bed. “Ashlyn, are you more worried about something happening or having Ali drunk and something not happening?”

Alex gave Tobin a weird look.

But Ashlyn thought about it. “Both sound equally as terrifying.” She lifted her head and glanced at Tobin. “I mean, if something happens then how will things be different tomorrow morning? But if something doesn’t happen, then holy shit, I don’t even want to know what I’ll be thinking because I’m going to probably just be depressed.”

Tobin chuckled. “I just think that you shouldn’t overdue it.”

“Overdue it?”

“Just be you. Probably spike the punch, take over the mic from the band, moon a picture with the Dean of the university, and I’m sure Ali will have the time of her life.”

“Mooning the Dean?” Alex chuckled.

Tobin shrugged. “I’m sure our little troubled child will do something kind of prank,” she chuckled with a shrug.

Ashlyn thought about it. “I mean, why not? My first College dance thing. I kind of have to trash it somehow.”

“So focus on that instead of stressing yourself out about Ali,” Alex offered.

Tobin nodded. “And if something happens, just let it. Don’t fight it.”

“You guys really think it’s a good idea?” Ashlyn inquired with a hint of worry.

They both looked at each other, sharing a ‘best friend’ kind of silent conversation before Alex nodded. “We do. You and Ali won’t let anything come between you, ever. There’s nothing to worry about, and you should really just have fun tonight.”

“But if something does happen, give Whitney a heads up,” Tobin said with a laugh. “Lord knows you won’t be considerate with Ali’s tongue down your throat.”

“Dude!” Ashlyn yelled, throwing a pillow at her. “Are you serious? What happened to being chill, Tobin?”

Tobin just laughed and threw it right back.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn paced back and forth outside of Ali’s apartment. She was dressed and ready to go for the Halloween dance, and many of the girls were already there. It started at 9 and it was 9:30 right now, as Ashlyn told Ali that she would be there.

But she couldn’t bring herself to knock on the door. She was actually really nervous, even though nothing would probably happen. If anything, they were going to dance, drink, Ashlyn would panic at one point and probably say something stupid or Whitney would get her out of the situation. That was how she planned the night going.

Therefore, she was only kind of excited. She’d rather be able to actually take Ali to the dance, like she really wanted to. None of this ‘best friend’ stuff but the real stuff. Ashlyn is already picking her up from her room. Why not make it more official?

Oh wait, because she’d be crazy if she tried. That’s right.

And before she could build up the nerve to knock, the door opened to reveal Ali to a much less prepared Ashlyn.

The brunette was dressed in a cowgirl outfit, much like Ashlyn’s cow girl/boyer outfit. Her hair was in a braid to the side, and she looked like the spitting image of Jessie from the Toy Story movie. And she looked damn good while doing it.

Ashlyn swallowed. She couldn’t even live up to that. Her hair was in a similar braid, but she was dressed more like Woody and just didn’t pull it off quite as well as she wanted to.

“You look amazing!” Ali squealed as she jumped into Ashlyn’s arms. They embraced tightly and Ashlyn prayed that Ali couldn’t hear or feel how hard her heart was pounding. Ali pulled back, keeping her hands on Ashlyn’s arms. “Seriously. Holy shit. You look hot, like my own little Rodeo rider.”

Ashlyn chuckled, relieving the feeling in her stomach. “Rodeo rider? Little? Excuse me?”

Ali was just beaming up at her. “Come on. You look good. The girls are going to be going after you all night.”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “You look pretty good too.” Her voice had dropped slightly, but she hoped that Ali didn’t catch it. “Actually, I mean, you look absolutely stunning.”

Ali blushed and touched Ashlyn’s stomach. “Stop,” she said, obviously not meaning it. “Now come on. Heather is telling me how drunk she is and that’s not something I want to miss.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The dance was loud. And loud. And a little loud. The music was pumping like crazy in the hall that the school rented out. Out of the two thousand students that went to this college, Ashlyn was sure most of them were actually there in the massive, crazy, huge area.

The best part was that the school wasn’t really in charge of this function. The senior class president from SGA set it up and people donated in order to rent that place. That meant, with the money they collected, that there was an open bar and a badass DJ.

Ashlyn chuckled as Ali instantly grabbed her hand and moved towards the bar, ordering two Jack and cokes without hesitation. The bartender gave her a smile and a wink when he passed it to them, but otherwise moved on to the next thirty people ready to order.

For the first hour, they just drank and danced with the team, with the baseball guys, with some of the basketball boys, some lacrosse girls, anyone and everyone. It was all fun and games until people started to get too drunk, and then it turned to the blast that everyone talked about every year.

“How’s it going?” Alex asked Ashlyn as she yanked her up to dance. Ashlyn was kind of foggy, saying anything and everything at this point, and she chuckled and gripped Alex’s hips as she turned and started grinding against her.

“I should ask you that question,” Ashlyn chuckled. “I noticed you and Servano disappeared for about, I don’t know, forty-five minutes. Do I even have to guess?”

Alex blushed and laughed loudly over the music. “So we might have snuck off. The question is, why haven’t you and Ali?”

At this point, Ashlyn actually smiled and pressed her chin to Alex’s shoulder. “You know why, Ms. Morgan. Bad idea.”

“Good idea.”

“Bad idea.”

“Good idea!”

“What’s a good idea?” Ali asked as she jumped out of nowhere, almost falling into Ashlyn. The blonde immediately dropped Alex and grabbed Ali before she fell. Ali just laughed and pressed her forehead into Ashlyn’s shoulder. “Sorry. I’m a little drunk.”

Ashlyn shook her head. “A little? More like a lot, princess.”

“Nahhh, I’m good! I’m great!” she stood straighter and attempted to spin a circle, but she bumped into someone and they pushed her into Alex who both grabbed Ashlyn in order to keep them from falling. Somehow, Ashlyn managed to keep them up and off the floor in her own messed up state.

Alex pecked Ashlyn on the cheek as they all straightened up. “I see Servano. Good luck, Ashlyn! Don’t be an idiot.”

“Shut up,” Ashlyn shot back as the other brunette took off towards her boyfriend.

Ali immediately wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s neck as the other girl gripped her hips. “So what was that about?”

“What?”

“Alex,” Ali said like it was obvious. “Good luck with what?” She seemed to think about it herself and Ashlyn got amused with the confused frown that came over her face. “Is Madison around or something?”

Ashlyn chuckled. Luckily, a slow song came on and Ali moved even closer to Ashlyn pressing her head into the crook of Ashlyn’s neck. When she didn’t answer, Ali asked the question again.

Finally, Ashlyn just answered. “I saw her earlier but it was just a talk about the test.”

“Promise?” Ali challenged, pulling back again.

Ashlyn’s grip on Ali’s hips tightened. “Why are you so curious?”

“I’m just trying to keep you out of trouble, remember? Captain’s orders,” she said, pointing at Abby and a few of the other seniors who were dancing with their significant others at the moment. Abby turned at that point, giving the pair a wink. “You’re mine to take care of.”

“If you keep drinking so much, I’ll end up taking care of you, princess. You’re starting to reach a limit.”

“I have no limit,” Ali shot back.

Ashlyn threw her head back and laughed. “That just shows how far gone you are.”

“Ali?”

They both turned to see John standing there, a drink in his hand. He was dressed as a stripper from the looks of it, with black pants and nothing but suspenders over his chest. Ashlyn gave him a look up and down, rolling her eyes at him.

Ali loosened her arms around Ashlyn’s neck, but she didn’t drop them, causing Ashlyn to turn the other way and smile. “John, what are you doing here?” Ali asked.

“It’s a party. But I was wondering why you never answered me about being my date.” This time, it was him who looked Ashlyn up and down as she turned back to him. “I didn’t realize you were turning into one of them.”

Ashlyn knew where this conversation was going. “Them?” she shot back. “What exactly does that mean?” She dropped her arms from Ali and turned towards John, feeling Ali grab her arm to hold her back slightly. “Because if you’re talking about Abby and Meghan, I might just kick your ass.”

“Ashlyn,” Ali warned.

“I have nothing against people like you,” John said quickly. “I’m just saying that Ali is never going to go for someone like you. She’s straight, in case you didn’t know.”

“I know that,” Ashlyn said through gritted teeth.

“John, maybe you should go,” Ali suggested.

“I just wanted to ask you to dance. To really dance.”

Ashlyn tensed when Ali dropped her arm, moving towards him. “Just one dance,” Ali suggested.

Once Ali said that, Ashlyn pretty much got the picture. She, naturally, came second. And she turned and walked off. She didn’t hear Ali’s calls to her. Didn’t hear Alex and Tobin yelling at her. She went straight for the bar, grabbed a double Jack and coke and downed it in about thirty seconds before Whitney got to her, seeing the empty glass, and slapped the back of her head, knocking her hat right off.

“What the hell?” Ashlyn yelled, glaring at her best friend as she bent to pick up her hat, wiping it off. “Why did you do that?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Whitney said angrily.

Ashlyn sighed. “Whitney, Ali is with John, you’re with Kenny, Alex is with Servano, Tobin is who knows where, everyone else has their dates, and I’m hanging out here with Jack.”

“Jack?”

One of the many bartenders dropped another drink in front of her. Ashlyn held up the dark liquid, smiling at Whitney with an attitude. “Jack.” And she downed that drink in a matter of seconds as well. Two in two minutes. She was feeling it… fast.

“You’re letting Ali get to you.” Whitney sat up on the stool, motioning for Ashlyn to do the same. She did… well, eventually. After stumbling once or twice. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Because she’s Ali. Because that’s what I do. Because I’m an idiot. Because I’m drunk. Take your pick. They’re all valid answers.”

“God!” Whitney exclaimed in frustration. “Can’t you just tell Ali how you feel? It would save the rest of us the headache.”

“Have you been drinking?” Ashlyn asked in shock. “Because what you said can’t possibly be what I heard.”

Whitney glared at her. “Ashlyn.”

“Whitney.”

“Fine.” Whitney jumped off the stool, obviously annoyed with her friend. “You want to be a little pain in the ass, go for it. See if I give a shit.”

After she took off, Ashlyn was about to order another drink when suddenly, a pair of arms slipped around her waist. Ashlyn tensed, but a whisper in her ear pulled her from her fear and helped her relax.

“Want to step outside for a little bit?”

OOOOOOOOOOOO

“So since when do you go around looking for trouble? Wondering around? Sneaking off? I thought you were some hardworking, goodie two shoes kind of kid? Always trying her hardest and all that?” Ashlyn asked as the pair walked (she more of stumbled) outside in the grass around the building hosting the dance.

Madison – dressed as a Clary Morgenstern from the Mortal Instrument series – smirked at her. She was sober enough to walk backwards, giving Ashlyn a playful look. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Ashlyn.”

“Does this mean I get to find out?”

“All you have to do is ask,” Madison beamed as she rounded the corner.

By this point, the few drinks that Ashlyn downed in ten minutes was starting to hit her, hard. Her stomach felt weird. Her brain was foggy. And she barely even registered what she was seriously doing as she rounded the corner, and suddenly she was pushed up against the wall.

Madison was pressed against Ashlyn so fast that the other girl barely registered what was going on. All she felt was lips, teeth, tongue, and she was hot all over. Their hips pressed together as Madison stood on her tip toes, being a few inches shorter.

Ashlyn hadn’t been kissed like this in a while. She had flirted. She had joked around at a few parties, she had made out with a couple of girls due to dares and jokes and whatnot, but she never let it get far. And Madison, well, she was pushing it fast.

The intoxication was making it hard for Ashlyn to really think. It might have been cold, but all she really felt was heat. Her hands slid under Madison’s black leather jacket and under her tank top, causing the other girl to smile against her lips and lean into her more. Ashlyn eventually turned them, pushing Madison against the wall and kissing down her neck.

Madison’s hands wandered around Ashlyn’s neck, keeping her close as the cold air started to blow. They both shivered at the wind, pulling each other closer as Ashlyn grabbed Madison’s hands moving them to the building behind her and pinning her to the wall. What felt like minutes later, Ashlyn finally pulled her hands away, letting Madison wrap her arms around the blonde’s neck.

“Aggressive much?” Madison chuckled, leaning in for another kiss. “Not that I mind.”

She tightened her grip and jumped, wrapping her legs around Ashlyn. Their lips were meeting in a fury as Madison pulled off eth jean jacket that Ashlyn wore, immediately working on the buttons of her yellow shirt.

Ashlyn tensed. “Madison, what are you doing?”

“What both of us want me to do,” she said, moving her hands over Ashlyn’s shoulders and down towards the rest of the buttons, getting them open and yanking the shirt apart. “Don’t you want to?”

Ashlyn didn’t know what to say and she buried her face in Madison’s hair when the girl’s hands started to trail along her collar bones. She wanted to, mainly because she was sexually frustrated. With Chloe, they dated over a year. Things happened. She got used to it. It had been months before she’d really been with anyone, and Madison was gorgeous. She wasn’t Ashlyn’s type, but she was gorgeous.

So did she want it? Yes. Was it a good idea? No? Yes? Maybe? She was too drunk to really think about it. All she really thought about was how she didn’t realize how frustrated she’d been with her feelings for Ali.

And just as her drunken mind had convinced her that this was a good idea, someone was grabbing her shoulders and yanking her away from Madison, causing the redhead to drop to the ground with a gasp.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Tobin practically yelled, losing her cool almost completely. Tobin shoved Ashlyn once more for good measure, putting her on her butt in the dirt easily. Ashlyn barely registered Alex yanking Madison away and pushing her towards the entrance to the dance, yelling some profanities and pissed off language.

“Have you lost your freaking mind?” Tobin yelled. In her police uniform, she was actually intimidating in a bit of a weird way, and since she pushed her foot against Ashlyn’s stomach when she tried to get up, that only made it even more terrifying. “You’re making out with Madison in the back of the building? Ashlyn, what the fuck?”

“It’s a dance, party, thing,” Ashlyn said, shoving Tobin’s foot off of her and barely making it to her feet. “So I’m having fun.”

“Fun? Making out with some slut is fun?”

“She’s not a slut,” Ashlyn shot back. “Madison is just…”

“What?” Tobin asked. “She’s just what?”

“Just – I don’t know! Why are you freaking out? This has nothing to do with you, Tobin.”

“Because Ali is in tears because of you!”

Ashlyn froze, her face twisting in confusion. “Wha – what are you talking about?”

“She saw you down those drinks and talking to Whit after she danced with John to stop the tension between you two. When she looked up, you were gone. So she went looking. Ashlyn, you’re her best friend. The last thing she expected to find was you up against the wall with some redhead girl from your biology class and her hands in your shirt. Heather found her running through the dance with tears in her eyes and grabbed me and Alex to look for you.”

Suddenly, she was sobering up pretty quickly, all things considering how much she drank. “Ali… she’s crying?”

“God, you are so dense!” Tobin looked like she wanted to slap Ashlyn at this point. Hell, Ashlyn wanted to slap Ashlyn. “You really hurt her Ashlyn. And you need to fix this.”

“How?” Ashlyn raised her hands and dropped them again. “I mean, what the hell am I supposed to say?”

“How about the truth?” Tobin suggested.

Ashlyn, although she wanted to argue, sighed and covered her face with her hands. They already had one bicker because of Madison. And this was going to be more than an apology. It was going to require a lot.

“Ashlyn?”

She looked up to find Tobin closer to her, and the other girl put a hand on Ashlyn’s shoulder. “Sorry I had to be so aggressive and shit, but I had to get my point across.”

Ashlyn nodded. “I deserved it. God, I really am an idiot.”

“Yeah. And next time you hurt Ali, I’ll punch you in the jaw. I'm not scared of you, and neither is Hope or anyone else on the team when it comes to Ali's safety and protection. But this time, just fix it. Okay? Or I swear to God...”

“Yeah, I will.” Ashlyn put her hands behind her head in surrender but she was too tired and drunk to think of anything other than Ali. “Okay.”

“One more thing.” Ashlyn raised an eyebrow when Tobin reached forward, grabbed Ashlyn’s jacket off the floor and shoving it at her chest roughly. “You might want to get your clothes back on and situated. I doubt that would make Ali feel any better.”

Chapter Text

Ashlyn made it back to her room just as Kenny was leaving.

He stopped when he saw her in the hallway, giving Ashlyn a worried look. “Whitney is pissed at you,” he said quietly. “And Heather is with Ali. I don’t know what happened, but just know that Whitney is ready to kick your ass.”

“I figured. Thanks for the heads up.”

He gave her a pat on the back and she made her way to her door, opening it, slipping inside, closing it, and leaning against it without a word.

Whitney didn’t say anything. She stood by the window, back against it with her arms crossed and her head down. She was just radiating the anger and the frustration and Ashlyn wanted to be anywhere but there at the moment. She wasn’t sure how long they stood there, on opposite sides of the room, staring at the floor.

Finally, Ashlyn couldn’t take it. “I know you’re pissed, so just spit it out.”

With that, Whitney spoke with more venom than Ashlyn thought possible. “We’ve only been friends for a few months, but I think I know you pretty well. I know Ali too. And I know that you two affected each other pretty hard tonight, you guys were getting to each other. The drinking, the dancing, the touching, the fucking matching outfits. And yet, you really fucked it up tonight. Everything about it. Ditching Ali. Being mad at me. Making out with Madison. Drinking your problems away. I mean, have you ever thought about the fact that Chris and Kyle did the same shit? Has that even occurred to you? You basically did the one thing that both of your brothers do, that your mother did, and you know how that feels, Ashlyn! Why would you even think to do that to her? Why would you put Ali through that? Like she doesn’t have enough to deal with already! You’re a fucking moron, Ashlyn! An idiot!”

By the end of it, Whitney was yelling, and Ashlyn was realizing how bad she fucked up. Her attitude changed from defensive to vulnerable.

Kyle just relapsed, and she and Ali agreed not to go crazy with the drinking, just be happy and be fun with it, but not to drink to forget. That’s what their brothers did, and Ashlyn just did it to Ali too. Everything she resented her mother for, she did it to Ali without a second thought.

She sunk to the floor at the realization, pulling her knees to her chest, but she struggled with the still tipsy feeling. “I didn’t even think of it like that.”

“Of course you didn’t.”

“What do you want me to say, Whit?” Ashlyn looked up to see her best friend looking at her. “I would never forgive me if I was in her position. Nothing I can say is going to fix anything.”

Whitney was quiet and moved towards Ashlyn, taking the spot next to her. They both sat with their backs against the wall, their heads pressed against it with their eyes closed in their stupid Halloween costumes.

“She’ll forgive you.”

Ashlyn shook her head. “I don’t think she will. I crossed a line.”

Whitney reached over and grabbed Ashlyn’s hand for reassurance. “She cares too much about you to stay mad. If you just explain everything to her, she’ll understand in time.”

“I can’t do that.”

“You need to tell her.” Whitney squeezed her hand. “Ali needs to hear it.”

“Tell her that I like her more than a friend, that I want to be with her. Yeah,” Ashlyn chuckled without humor. “That is not going to be something that’s going to fix this. It’ll just make it worse and freak her out.”

“So what are you going to do?”

Ashlyn thought long and hard about it. And finally, she got an idea. Her eyes widened and she quickly reached for her phone, yanking it out of her pocket and scrolling through the contacts.

“You’re not trying to call her, are you?” Whitney asked with concern.

Ashlyn shook her head as the phone was finally answered. “Hello?”

“Dad?” Her voice cracked as she said his name.

“Ashlyn.” He said her name with a bit of a shocked tone to it. “Hi, honey, what is it? What’s wrong?”

“I need your help. I messed up, and I don’t know what to do.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn’s stomach was in knots, twists, butterflies, and felt so sick that she was going to throw up. But she was ready for this at the same time.

It was afternoon the next day on Sunday when Ali finally woke up. Ashlyn got a text from Heather saying that Ali was willing to talk and to meet her at the field after about the tenth phone call and fourth text. Of all places, Ashlyn didn’t question it and just said that she’d be there.

She juggled the soccer ball at her feet, ignoring the slight headache that she had from her hangover. Her hands were in the pockets of her jacket and her snapback hid enough of the sun from her face to keep her from squinting. Other than that, she was dressed to play because she was sure she’d have to de-stress after this conversation.

Her phone buzzed again just as she saw Ali walking down the path from the training room.

Hey. Are we going to talk about last night? Because your friends kind of came in unexpected and you won’t answer any of my texts. – Madison

“Great timing Madison.” She sighed and turned her phone off, watching as Ali walked towards her. She wanted to run to her and apologize and hug and – god forbid she tries to kiss her – and just take things back to how they were. But she couldn’t so she stayed put and picked up the ball, waiting until Ali was in earshot.

And when she was, she sat down on the grass, motioning for Ashlyn to do the same. Ali looked good now too. Tight skinny jeans, a black tank top, grey sweater, hair curled, make-up done. God, Ashlyn was regretting yesterday even more and more.

They were quiet for a while, not knowing what to say. Ashlyn finally started. “You know, I hate this.”

Ali sighed, pulling her legs to her chest. “Me too.”

“Can I just say that I’m sorry?” Ashlyn asked, turning towards Ali. “I’m sorry. I crossed a line. Especially with the drinking. I didn’t realize what I was doing, and you can best believe that Tobin and Whitney told me exactly how bad I fucked up. And I hurt you. I never wanted to that. I care about you too much to intentionally do that. When Tobin told me what happened, I immediately wanted to go to you and I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to and Ali… I can’t believe I did that to you.”

Ali nodded quietly, taking a moment before talking. “I might have overreacted.”

“No.” Ashlyn shook her head stubbornly. “Absolutely not. None of this is your fault.”

“Ashlyn–”

“Stop. It’s me. I messed up yesterday.”

“It’s not just you,” Ali stated adamantly, finally turning and meeting Ashlyn’s eyes. It was obvious that her eyes had been red from crying and she was tired, but Ashlyn didn’t speak so Ali continued. “When I was talking to Heather, well, crying to Heather actually, she asked what started it. Everything was fine between the two of us. We were going great and John showed up and I made the bitchiest move by dancing with him. Especially after everything that he said about you and Pinoe and Abby, I should’ve slapped him in the face, kneed him in the balls, something. But I just picked him over you to avoid a fight and as soon as I saw you walk away, I wanted nothing to go and get you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Ali looked away, picking at the grass with her fingers. “I got scared.”

Ashlyn could understand that.

One thing her dad told her over the phone was to finally put her fears aside. She was so scared to tell them about Chloe for the longest time, and although her mother didn’t like it, it worked out well enough. Even the breakup, she needed it to grow. He explained to her that getting it out is better than letting it in.

So Ashlyn finally let part of it out at least. “Honestly, Ali, you’ve scared the shit out of me since the day we started playing together.”

Ali’s head popped back up. “What?”

“It’s something about you. Your eyes. Your laughed. The way your nose crinkles when you smile. How you’re always looking out for me, and I know that’s not just because of Abby. How you’re just absolutely brilliant. Everything about you is incredible, and incredible things have always scared me since they tend to break me in the first place.”

Ali swallowed. “What do you mean?”

“My mother, everyone always thought that she was amazing, because they didn’t see her at home. They didn’t see her fuck up, so they thought she was perfect. Everything about her. Chloe, same thing for her. She was the cheerleader at our high school, the captain, the one everyone wanted to know and be friends with. And she decided to be with me, until everyone suddenly found out and she dropped me. I don’t have the best track record.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Ashlyn.”

Ashlyn leaned back and lied down, covering her face with her hands. “And I don’t want to hurt you, but I did. You don’t want to hurt me, but you did. That’s not exactly good for a… whatever this is.”

“We’ve always been good until recently.” Ali said bluntly and turned, pressing her hand to grass and turning towards Ashlyn. “What happened to us?”

To be honest or not to be honest? Her dad taught her to be honest so… “I developed feelings for you.”

Ali’s eyes widened but she stayed rather quiet when she spoke. “I wanted to think that, but I wasn’t sure if it was true.”

Ashlyn sighed. It was now or never. “Ali, I don’t know what to say. Everyone has been telling me to be honest with you, and it’s terrified me to do it. But I guess that I should just let it out. So yeah, I have feelings for you. I like you as more than a friend. I want to be able to throw you up against the wall and kiss the shit out of you and I’m sure that terrifies you but I can’t help it. You do something to me, something that I can’t explain, Ali.”

The look on Ali’s face… Ashlyn realized that might not have been the best choice of words but there was no going back now. She searched Ali’s eyes for something, anything, and just when she thought she saw a bit of hope, they heard footsteps.

They both turned to see Carly and Hope walking towards the field, ball bags, cones, and gear in hand. Ashlyn wanted to curse the seniors and their freaking dedication and their awful timing. She knew nothing would happen with Ali as long as they’re around.

When the seniors saw them, they froze. Naturally, the whole team would already know about it. It was written all over their face.

“Hey,” Ashlyn said in a low voice, glancing towards Ali as she stood up to face them. “Could you guys have any worse timing, because I think you’re out to ruin my life?”
“Ashlyn,” Ali shot her a warning glare to cool off.

“Oh,” Hope said, giving Ashlyn the first look of sympathy that she’d ever seen from the girl. “Are we… interrupting something?”

Ali stood up too, brushing off her jeans. “No, I was just getting ready to go.”

Ashlyn’s heart dropped. Ali never said anything back and this was not how she wanted the conversation to end. Especially with her… no so subtle and quite vulgar revelation.

Carly nodded and just moved to the field with her cones, avoiding the conversation.

Hope, on the other hand, gave Ashlyn a look. “You want to train? You’ve already got your cleats and everything anyway.”

Ashlyn didn’t answer and looked towards Ali. The brunette shrugged but a small smile came over her face. “Um, dinner tonight? We can talk and all that.”

“Yeah,” the blonde answered almost immediately and to her surprise, Ali stepped forward and kissed her cheek, giving her a small smile before she nodded and walked off, hands back in her pockets. Ashlyn watched her go, her hand moving towards her cheek.

Hope whistled and stepped up next to Ashlyn. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you were smitten.”

Ashlyn was still too in shock by the conversation and the kiss on the cheek to really answer until Hope snapped her fingers in her face. “Huh, what?”

“Yup,” Hope chuckled, a real smile breaking her face. “You’re completely taken by that girl.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Carly took another shot, causing Ashlyn to dive and she managed to grab it at least.

“Not bad,” Carly chuckled, lining back up at the PK spot. She was practicing her shots as Hope and Ashlyn practiced reading them. “A few more?”

“Bring it on.”

After they finally finished up the shots, Ashlyn sat down in the grass, leaning back on her hands when Carly came up and sat beside her.

“I’ll be honest with you,” Carly stated, watching as Hope picked up the cones and gave the two of them some privacy. “You’ve got your hands full right now. And the team knows it. We all had a feeling something was up between you and Ali recently, and yesterday kind of pinpointed what it was. I know that you have feelings for her.” Carly patted Ashlyn on the back lightly. “And that’s okay. I don’t care. The team doesn’t care. We want you guys to be happy.”

Ashlyn sighed. “It’s not that easy to be happy when I have you guys interrupting vital conversations.”

“Sorry.” Carly smiled. “Look, my boyfriend and I had a rough start, but we worked it out. You can work it out with Ali. Even if it doesn’t end up how you want it to, you guys need to be in each other’s lives. If that’s as friends, so be it.”

“I told her that I have feelings for her,” Ashlyn blurted out, sitting up and picking at the grass between her feet. “I fucking just blurted it out like a sappy kid.”

Carly chuckled. “So what did she say?”

“You two showed up before she answered. You seniors and your great timing,” Ashlyn said a little bitterly for the fifth time basically. She then recovered. “I mean, couldn’t you guys go to the gym or something for once?”

“A field on an afternoon isn’t exactly the best place for privacy,” Hope said when she came up, sitting down to face the other two. “Just saying. If it wasn’t us, Abby and Alex would’ve made their way down here or one of the boy’s players. Next time, pick a room.”

“Thanks for the advice, Captain Useless.”

“When are you going to finish your talk then?” Carly asked. “She mentioned dinner.”

Ashlyn nodded. “What am I supposed to say to her?”

“Looks to me like you’ve already said what you need to say,” Hope chimed in. “So just let Ali talk this time.”

Carly nodded. “I agree. It’s Ali’s turn, and whatever she decides, you have to respect it.”

“Because if you don’t, it’ll end in another fight.”

“And the last thing you both need is more drama.”

“Since you’re actually kind of cute together, I want this to work out.”

“Okay, guys,” Ashlyn said with a small smile. “I get it. You’re supportive and all that. But I think I can handle this, actually. I mean, it’s just Ali, right?”

Carly and Hope both gave her a smile. Carly gave her a small wink too. “Good luck tonight. And try not to let your attitude interfere with this.”

“Yeah,” Hope added. “Don’t be your typical troublemaker self. Be the Ashlyn that Ali is going to fall in love with.”

OOOOOOOOOOOO

She was nervous. She was so freaking nervous and that wasn’t like her at all. Ashlyn had changed her outfit ten times, gotten plenty of pointers from Whitney, have six different pump up speeches to herself, felt like she was going to throw up. It wasn’t getting easier.

Finally, she ended up settling on jeans, some vans, and just a regular black button down with her hair down and a black snapback. She didn’t really have time for much, but her nerves seemed to have enough energy to keep her moving. Meanwhile, her excitement gave her an extra kick in her step. She was ready for this. Ali seemed… interested, and Ashlyn wanted to jump at the opportunity, right?

She finally knocked on the door to Ali’s room, her heart pounding a mile a minute. It seemed to take forever for Ali to actually answer, and when she did, it wasn’t Ali.

It was Alex and Tobin.

Ashlyn looked more confused than anything. “Um, What are you guys doing here. Where is Ali?”

“You’re coming with us,” Tobin stated, reaching into her pocket to pull out her car keys.

Alex then pulled out a blindfold from her pocket, a smirk on her lips. “Do you trust us?”

“No. Where is Ali?” she asked, taking a step back when Alex walked towards her. “And you’re not blindfolding me, you asshat.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “She wanted us to do something, okay? Just go with it.”

She was skeptical. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Tobin said with a smile. “Come on, man. Do this for Ali. She really wants this to work out.”

That made Ashlyn’s nerves jump back up. “This as in…”

Tobin and Alex both nodded.

“Okay,” she said, closing her eyes and crossing her arms. “Fuck it. The sooner we get there, the better.”

Chapter Text

“Okay, Ashlyn, are you alright?” Alex asked when she finally turned the car off.

It had been a long ride, about thirty minutes, and she was sick of not being able to see anything. But she was so nervous that she never asked even where they were going, how long it would take, anything. She just had her head pressed against the back of Tobin’s headrest and waited patiently while talking herself out of a panic.

“Dude, you’re making me nervous,” Tobin chuckled when she opened the back door, leading Ashlyn out.

It was cold, outside, and Ashlyn could hear running water. That was only one place. The team’s waterfall place. And it was the first place that she and Ali really had a talk. It was where Ashlyn opened up to her the first time.

She felt Alex grab her arm and put a hand on her back. “Follow me, stud.”

Ashlyn let her lead her towards the sound of the water, and she was suddenly placed down on the ground. There was some whispering between Alex and Tobin before they came over, gave Ashlyn a hug, told her to take the blindfold off, and left.

There was no one even here. It was kind of cold, and Ashlyn felt a chill go through her when she realized that she probably should’ve brought a jacket. And when she heard footsteps, she froze, took a deep breath, and turned.

Ali was walking towards her with a bag from their favorite burger place. She was still dressed the same as she was that afternoon, and Ashlyn felt her breath get taken away. She couldn’t even think of what to say.

But Ali could as she sat beside her, both taking in the smell of the burgers and Ashlyn’s eyes never left Ali’s face for a second. “Hungry?”

Ashlyn nodded. “So, the blindfold?” Ashlyn asked.

Ali reached into the bag and pulled out the burgers and fries, smiling slightly. “Freshmen can’t know how to get to this place, remember?” she laughed. “You don’t get to learn until next year.”

Ashlyn shook her head but otherwise didn’t say anything. But when Ali handed her a burger and their fingers brushed against each other, she felt it again. That… thing. Her eyes met Ali’s and right when she was about to say something, Ali looked back away.

This is going to be harder than I thought, Ashlyn mentally noted.

“So, burgers?” Ashlyn asked, taking a bite. “Is there coffee?”

Ali smiled as she pulled out a canister, handing it to her. “Always. Is that even a question?”

Ashlyn chuckled and took a sip. It was perfect. The burgers were pretty good too. The French fries were on point. Ali timed it really well and Ashlyn couldn’t really complain. Although, what she wanted to talk about what something that she couldn’t find the right way to bring up.

So instead, they talked over dinner about this and that, simple soccer stuff, avoiding everything with any kind of feelings or emotions or too much stress. So mainly they talked about how midterms went, about soccer, upcoming games. It wasn’t too bad, and Ashlyn had to stop herself from staring sometimes as Ali would talk, or how Ali would laugh, or her smile, or just Ali.

But eventually, the conversation kind of died down and Ashlyn found herself on her back, Ali beside her, watching as the sky turned darker and darker.

Eventually, Ali started to shiver. “Are you cold?” Ashlyn asked.

Ali chuckled. “Um, yeah. A little bit.”

“Maybe we should get back?” Ashlyn asked, starting to get up, but she didn’t really want to. She never wanted to leave now that she actually had Ali here alone. And she wanted to talk, but how should she start? “Or… you know… we could…”

Ali caught on slid closer and threw one arm and leg over Ashlyn, curling into her as she pushed the blonde back down. “Yeah, this is better.”

Ashlyn smirked and wrapped and arm around Ali, but now she couldn’t take it. She had to say something. “Ali, are we going to be just friends or something more? I’m sorry, but I have to know before my brain explodes.”

“Oh,” Ali said quickly, hiding her face on Ashlyn’s shoulder instead of looking at her. “Um, wow. You’re just going to jump the gun, huh?”

“I told you how I feel. And if that’s not how you feel, I get it. Completely understand. I’ve been on both sides of it, so I get it. Just… just know that I’ll be here either way.”

Ali sighed and finally pushed herself up on her elbows, turning to look at Ashlyn in the eyes. “I – I want to.”

“You do?”

“But I don’t know how to,” Ali said honestly. She moved to lie on her stomach and grabbed Ashlyn’s hand, moving it to play with her fingers like something a couple who had been together for months would do. “I mean, I’m not good with regular relationships, much less one with someone like you.”

Ashlyn, although she didn’t want to take that offensive, kind of flinched at that.

“Not like that,” Ali said quickly. “I mean, just a teammate, a girl, all of it is new. And I’ve never been one for being open with anything, and you know that Sydney, Pinoe, Heather, they’re going to want to know everything. On top of that, you caught Kyle pretty well, before he… relapsed again, but he couldn’t stop asking about you before that. But your parents didn’t take to you being with a girl all that well and I mean, what if mine don’t? They were pretty hesitant with Kyle but, I mean, they got over it pretty quickly so I don't think that they would really care and–”

“Ali.”

“I just don’t know how to deal with this and–”

“You’re blabbering,” Ashlyn chuckled, grabbing Ali’s hand and linking their fingers together. “If you’re not ready for this, you don’t have to do anything. We can just… stay friends.”

Ali was quiet for a while. She finally pressed her head into Ashlyn’s shoulder and took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about this conversation for a long time and now I don’t know what I’m even trying to say.”

“Join the club,” Ashlyn chuckled. She thought back, again, to her conversation with Kyle. She had to know when to push and when to not. And yet, she had no idea when that actually was. Might as well just go for it. “Can we just try something?”

“Try what?”

“Well, I know what I want but you’re confused. So maybe this will help.”

Ali lifted her head. “What will help?”

Ashlyn smiled at her slightly. “Close your eyes.” Ali did after giving her a skeptical look. “Now lie back.” She did, lying on the grass as Ashlyn rolled over, now hovering over Ali who lied with her eyes closed. “Put your arms around my shoulders.” She did. “Take a deep breath, Ali.” Once she did, Ashlyn took a long look at the girl lying down under her, taking it in. And then, she leaned in and pressed her lips to Ali’s.

It was a moment Ashlyn would never forget. The little gasp that escaped Ali’s lips. The little smile that appeared on Ashlyn’s. The way Ali’s arms tightened around her shoulders. The way she pulled Ashlyn closer. The way she just kissed her back. The way Ashlyn’s hands touched her cheek, rubbing her thumb over the smooth skin. Everything about it.

She pulled away after a few seconds, watching as Ali kept her eyes closed and a smile appeared over her face. “If you want to stop this, it can stop here and we can go back to how we were. But if you enjoyed that like I did,” she watched as Ali finally opened her eyes and looked at her, “Then everything is up to your pace. Who we tell, how we act. It’s all on you and what you’re comfortable with. Your pace.”

Ali bit her lip, something that Ashlyn found completely enduring. “What about Madison?”

She was expecting that question. “What happened yesterday was mainly due to drinking, honestly.”

“But she texted you earlier,” Ali pointed out. “And I think everyone knows she has the hots for you.”

“Who doesn’t?” Ali glared at her and Ashlyn cleared her throat quickly. “We just study together a bit, and we’ll be in a study group together, but you’ll always be the one I’d rather be with. She’s a pretty girl, but I’d choose you over anyone any day of the week, month, year, all of it.”

Ali blushed, pressing her forehead to Ashlyn’s momentarily before falling back to the grass. “I should’ve known you’d be a smooth talker.”

“Harris charm,” Ashlyn chuckled. “I warned you about it.”

“I like it though,” Ali said with a glint in her eye. “But can we… can we keep this between the two of us?”

Secrecy? Complete secrecy? Ashlyn sighed. “From everyone?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m just kind of nervous and scared. I just, I just want people to understand how different this is for me and I’m sure the team will be fine with me but I’m not completely sure with all of their questions. They’ll find out soon enough because lord knows, we don’t hide it well. Instead of just announcing it, just kind of let people figure it out.”

Ashlyn chuckled at that.

“And it’s a little nerve wracking that I feel this… strongly for you, Ashlyn. Especially after one kiss.”

“We can make that two,” Ashlyn chuckled, causing Ali to laugh. “Or three, or four. Just saying.”

“I like that idea,” Ali beamed, pulling Ashlyn back down to her. “You’re as smart as you look.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn waved as Ali dropped her off at her dorm, driving off back to her own set of dorms. She watched until the car finally disappeared from view, a completely beaming and idiotic smile on her face.

And when she got to the room, she expected to see Whitney waiting for her with a curios look. Instead… she found Whitney in her bed on the top bunk with Kenny, their lips locked.

Because of all the shit that Ashlyn had to put up with from Whitney, she pulled out her phone over the music the two had playing in the room and quietly slipped over to the bed, snapping a picture. When she saw the results, she laughed over the sound of Drake through the speakers and catcalled at them, causing Whitney to spaz and shove Kenny away, which led to him falling off the top bunk and onto the floor and it was just a mess for ten straight seconds.

He landed with a thud. Ashlyn’s mouth dropped open with amusement. Whitney looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“Holy shit!” Whitney yelled, jumping off the bed and leaning over Kenny. “I’m so sorry. Oh my God, Kenny, are you okay?”

“Jesus, Whit,” he claimed, gripping his shoulder. He rolled over and Ashlyn was trying not to laugh as she turned off the speakers. He gripped his shoulder and his hip. “Yal should really invest in a bigger rug to cushion my fall. That thing is useless.”

Kenny was from Georgia, being from southern Georgia, and had a slight southern accent. His plaid shirt was halfway open and his brown, curly hair that came to his shoulders was a little tousled. It was amusing as the poor guy struggled on the floor.

On the other hand, Whitney didn’t look much more intact. All she had was a tank top, some soccer shorts, and the start of a hickey on her neck.

Ashlyn gave her a look when she looked up, the blondes knowing that they both had something to talk about this time. “Shut up,” Whitney glared.

“I didn’t say anything,” Ashlyn said with a smile, holding her hands up. “Are you okay, Kenny?”

“I just fell off of a bunk bed,” he chuckled, sitting up and rubbing his shoulder. “But I think I’ll live. That was quite the entrance, Ash.”

“And you two put on quite the show.”

“Okay! Enough,” Whitney pleaded, giving Ashlyn a look that said ‘what are you even doing here’ and Ashlyn just shrugged. “Kenny, are you sure you’re fine?”

He nodded and she helped him up. “Yeah, I’m good. But most people don’t kiss and tell, not kiss and shove the guy off the bed.”

“That’s my bad,” Ashlyn said with a laugh, taking a seat on her bed. “I can leave if you guys want to, you know, continue.”

Whitney blushed instantly. “Ashlyn, oh my god.”

“It’s fine,” Kenny said, pulling Whitney into his side to relax her. “I’m sure you ladies want to talk about Ali so I should probably go. I have a test tomorrow anyway.”

Ashlyn gave Whitney a look this time. “You told him about Ali?”

He laughed. “Ashlyn, anyone associated with the team knows about you and Ali and the tension between you two. And besides, plenty of people saw the drama yesterday. I just hope you two are okay.”

Ashlyn nodded, a small smile pulling at her face a little bit. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

He smiled. “Good.” He leaned down and kissed Whitney lightly before grabbing his school bag. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow Whit.”

As soon as he was out the door, Whitney ran to Ashlyn and jumped on her, throwing both of them on the bed with giggles. “Oh my god, tell me everything!”

“Me? What about you?” Ashlyn shot back. “You say that you’re jumping back and forth between Kenny and Adam and suddenly you’re making out with one of them in our bunk bed.”

“It just kind of happened,” Whitney laughed, sitting up and moving so Ashlyn could do the same. “We were talking and he just kissed me and it’s not my fault.”

Ashlyn just laughed. “And I thought I was a mess.”

“Whatever, now tell me about Ali!” Whitney squealed. “What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t you be with Ali?”

Ashlyn shrugged but a grin came across her face anyway. “Look, we talked and Ali and I agreed that if this happens, we take it slow.”

“If?” Whitney asked skeptically. “Why is there an ‘if’?”

“I mean, she’s still kind of nervous about the whole thing. And I promised to take it at her pace. She wants this to be something between the two of us and doesn’t want the whole world to know either so, you know, it’s… it’s slow.”

Whitney took that in and frowned. “Ashlyn, you deserve better than that.”

“That’s not it,” Ashlyn said quickly. “I offered it to Ali because I want her to be safe and sure about this.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “When you and Ali left dinner one time with Kyle, me and him had a good talk. A talk about Ali. And he explained some things to me. I can’t just… push her into this. And I want her to feel the same way and not be so worried before we do this.”

At that, Whitney seemed to calm down a little bit more. “I guess that makes sense. I just wish I could see you happy with her already.”

“That may be too explicit for your innocent eyes.”

Whitney slapped her arm. “Shut up, you know what I mean. And if I ever walk in on you two, I will murder you.”

Ashlyn laughed. “I’ll give you a heads up.”

With a small smile, Whitney nodded and turned kind of serious. “Honestly though, I really do just want you two to be happy.”

“Thanks,” Ashlyn said with a small smile. “But we’ll get there. I’d rather take our time than rush into it and ruin everything.”

Whitney nodded and squeezed her hand, jumping off the bed. “I want full details tomorrow at lunch, but I really should study for my test.”

“Yeah, cause that’s what you were doing when I walked in here earlier,” Ashlyn teased.

“Shut up, you jerk,” Whitney said with a shoulder nudge. “You’ve got your own shit to do, now let’s get to work.”

Chapter Text

They hadn’t really spoken about what happened and Ashlyn hadn’t seen Ali all day yet. It was lunch time and she was eating with Pinoe, Kling, Moe, and Whitney when she saw Ali walk in with Heather.

Honestly, she was kind of nervous. The team was aware that something happened, but only Whitney and Heather knew to the extent of it. Even then, Ashlyn wasn’t exactly sure how they ended things yesterday and where they really stood now.

She left everything in Ali’s hands. If she wanted PDA, Ali would start it. If she wanted to be serious and do this, Ali would say it. If she wanted what Ashlyn wanted, Ali had to tell her because although they both seemed to like everything that happened yesterday, there was still some hesitation on Ali’s side.

The team was just talking away about random stuff when Ali and Heather walked over, Ali taking the spot by Ashlyn quickly. Ash gave her a small smile and when the brunette reached under the table and grabbed Ashlyn’s hand, the blonde lit up.

“Hey,” Ali said quietly, nudging her shoulder slightly.

Ashlyn looked at her for a moment longer before finally speaking. “Hey.”

“Ashlyn,” Kling said, catching the table’s attention. “Are you still down to tutor me for Biology?”

“Yeah, you still need me to?”

“My test is tomorrow, so yeah.”

Ashlyn shrugged, feeling Ali drop her hand and she reached to grab her water with it now. “I’m free tonight after practice. I’ll be in the library so just find me in there.”
“Actually, Ash,” Ali inquired, leaning forward. “What about the thing we talked about doing tonight?”

“The thing?”

Ali gave her a look. “Yeah, the thing.”

Kling chimed in. “Can that thing happen after my thing? Because if have this thing called a grade that’s a little important.”

Ashlyn was genuinely confused. They hadn’t talked about hanging out. Hell, they haven’t really talked since yesterday when Ashlyn gave Ali her space to think about what happened between the two of them. And as long as there was a good vibe, Ashlyn was going to let Ali take it at her pace.

And then, she caught on. “Oh! The thing!”

Ali laughed. “Yeah, the thing.”

“That’s couple’s talk for ‘alone time’,” Pinoe said slyly while taking a drink of her water. “Just saying.”

Whitney gave Pinoe a look. Ali gave one to Ashlyn. Kling chuckled with Moe. And Heather just ate her food quietly. It was obvious the other girls wanted answers to all of their questions, and Ashlyn was waiting for Ali, not wanting to step over her boundaries.

But Ashlyn was just about to speak up when suddenly, a hand descended on Ali’s shoulder. Ashlyn eyed it with annoyance and looked up to meet none other than John.

“Ali,” he said with his most charming smile. “Where you been? I called you for the past two days and you won’t answer.”

“Um, yeah,” Ali gently moved his hand away. “Sorry about that.”

“Well, what’s going on?” he asked with a small smile and a hint of confusion. “I mean, I thought Saturday was great and then you just bolted. What happened?”

Ali glanced at Ashlyn. She wasn’t sure what to say, it was obvious in the brunette’s eyes. Ashlyn knew what she wanted to do, but didn’t know if that’s what Ali wanted her to say. But her hand stayed on the other girl’s knee and she didn’t want to budge it.

Ali gave her a small smile before looking back at John. “I’m kind of seeing someone, John.”

Ashlyn’s eyes widened, along with everyone else at the table.

Including John. “What?”

“Look, I just don’t like you the way that you like me and I like this person exactly like they like me. At least, I hope they do,” she said with a small smile. “So… I think it’s best if we just stay friends. You understand?”

John took a small step back, nodding his head slightly. “Um, yeah sure.” He looked genuinely in shock as he finally turned, giving Ali one last unbelievable look before turning and walking away.

And as soon as he was gone, everyone bombarded her.

“Oh my god, does that mean you two are together?”

“I’m so proud of you, Ali.”

“At least you won’t have to deal with him anymore.”

“I need details, now.”

And a few other things were said before Ashlyn and Ali got the group of girls to calm down. Ashlyn was honestly still trying to wrap her mind around everything, staring at Ali with so many of her own questions.

Ali just shrugged one shoulder, not looking at Ashlyn. “I mean, nothing is official yet.”

“But it will be?” Pinoe, Heather, and Whitney both asked, eying both of them. Pinoe continued, “What are you waiting for?”

Ali looked at Ashlyn, giving her a small smile. “For that first date.”

Ashlyn smiled.

Kling chuckled and shook her head, looking at Heather. “Can you help me with my biology test?”

_____________________________

“So,” Ashlyn said with a nudge to Ali’s shoulder. They were walking towards their next class. “A date?”

Ali smiled and looked down at the ground. “Yeah. A date.”

“Like a date-date?”

“What other date is there?” Ali asked.

“A playdate? The fruit.” Ashlyn shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans. “I mean, you know I want you to be 100% sure about this. And you just basically announced it to the team.”

“Was that bad?” Ali inquired. “I just – they were asking questions and after what happened with John I wanted to make a point and so–”

“It’s okay,” Ashlyn blurted out, pulling her into a side hug that looked friendly. She didn’t want to do anything in public just yet. “I was just surprised I guess.”

“Why?”

“Nothing,” Ashlyn said quickly. “No reason. I promise.”

They made it to the front of the Biology Building, Ashlyn’s stop while Ali was heading over to the communication’s section. They stopped, having a few more minutes before class started.

And as they stopped, none other than Madison walked out.

“Ashlyn!”

Ali sighed. “Today is full of all kinds of surprises,” she muttered.

Despite the situation, Ashlyn managed a laugh and a small smile towards Madison as she strutted over in her boots and braids. “Hey Madison.”

“Hey, you,” she flirted, coming up and jumping on Ashlyn, giving her a tight hug. “Where you been?”

Ashlyn pushed her back at arm’s length. “Busy weekend.”

“You never texted me back.”

“Like I said, I was busy with some stuff.”

“Too busy to come over later?” Madison asked with a bat of her eyelashes, playing with Ashlyn’s jacket.

Ali cleared her throat at that, waving with sass as they both turned towards her. “Hi, Madison right?” She stepped towards Ashlyn, just bumping her shoulder lightly. “From the library?”

The redhead nodded.

“I’m Ali,” she said, putting her hand out, an obvious challenge in her eyes. Ashlyn had to hide her smirk at the look of it.

Madison took it with a weird look. “Um, yeah. I remember.” She took Ali’s hand carefully, eyeing the both of them before her phone started to go off. “Uh, excuse me,” she said, pulling her phone out. “I’ll see you later, Ashlyn.”

The blonde ran a hand through her hair. “Yeah, sure.”

Madison walked off, the phone at her ear. Ali watched her go with a look of disgust and annoyance, one that Ashlyn just felt amused by. It gave her even more hope. She had plenty already, but watching Ali be so… protective was refreshing. With Chloe, Ashlyn was always the protective one. She’s never seen the other side.

“I hate her,” Ali blurted out after a few seconds, still giving Madison the stink eye. “I didn’t like her after the library incident. I seriously couldn’t stand her after the dance. And now, I hate her.”

Ashlyn chuckled. “You don’t have to worry about her, Ali. We’re just friends. I promise. Saturday was just… you know.”

She nodded, giving Ashlyn a small smile. “I know. I just – this is new and–”

“We can talk about it tonight, alright?” Ashlyn asked, quieting her voice a little bit more. “On that date.”

Ali pretended to think for a moment. “I don’t remember actually agreeing to a date.”

With a chuckle, Ashlyn said, “You won’t forget it, I promise. I’ll make it memorable.”

Ali smiled before she backed away, giving Ashlyn a playful wink. “Well, I’ll think about it.”

_______________________

Practice was intense. Ashlyn was so busy thinking about something to do that she actually didn’t play all that well, but it wasn’t too noticeable. Everyone just seemed to think she was having an off day, including Ali, luckily. So everyone just hoped that she’d be better tomorrow.

But her mind was just racing. Ali was the first person she’d go on a “date” with after Chloe. And the thing was, Ashlyn had no idea where to take her, what to do, when to do it. Is she supposed to kiss her again? Do they talk about it or make this more relaxed? What the hell was she thinking about jumping into this so unprepared?

And she was about to have a mini panic attack about it as she and Whitney finally got back to the room.

“What do you mean you don’t know what you’re doing?” Whitney practically yelled at Ashlyn.

Ashlyn plopped down on her bed face first. “I don’t know anything, Whitney. I’m supposed to take Ali on an incredible date that I have no time to plan because of my big mouth and I’m an idiot.”

Whitney sighed, taking a seat at her desk. “Okay, we’ll figure this out. It can’t be that difficult to plan a date.”

“You’re into guys. You’ve never had to plan a date.”

“We can figure it out,” Whitney insisted.

“How?” Ashlyn looked at the clock. “I still have to shower. It’s already five. I’m picking her up at seven to go somewhere, wherever the hell that is, and fuck if I know what I’m doing at the moment. Nothing is planned and Ali is someone who expects the best, some who deserves it.”

Whitney moved towards the bed, taking a seat and patting Ashlyn on the shoulder. “I’ve never seen you nervous like this.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I’ve never been nervous like this.”

“It’s just Ali.” Whitney rubbed her back softly, trying to calm her best friend. “You two are basically perfect for each other. There’s nothing to really worry about.”

“I know, but still.”

“Ashlyn, she won’t care where you take her,” Whitney said. “Ali would be happy about anything.”

Ashlyn rolled back over, taking a deep breath to look at Whitney. “I don’t want to mess this up.”

Whitney smiled. “You won’t. You’re Ashlyn Harris. You’ve got this.”

“I still don’t know what to do for the actual date though,” she sighed.

“Just do something that you would normally do.”

Ashlyn sighed. “Like what?”

Whitney shrugged one shoulder. “Something stupid, idiotic, dangerous but not too dangerous, and… something to keep Ali on her feet. Something that’s unique and something she will absolutely remember.”

_______________________

“So where are we going?” Ali asked for the third time.

Ashlyn shrugged from behind the wheel, driving with one hand. “You don’t get to find out yet.” She fixed up her snapback and her sweatshirt, trying not to look too much at Ali and focus on the road.

But the brunette leaned over the console, a smile on her face and those begging eyes almost broke Ashlyn as she leaned in close. “Really?”

“Really,” Ashlyn said almost immediately, pulling up a bandana. “And don’t make me blindfold you and shut you up.”

Ali slumped back in her seat. “I don’t like how the roles have reversed,” she pouted. “I just want to know what’s going on.”

Ashlyn chuckled with a small glance towards her date. Ali was sporting black pants with black boots and a simple sweater, her make-up done to a T and her hair in perfect curls. She always looked beautiful all the time, blowing Ashlyn’s mind every single time.

She just hoped that this trip and date was as mind-blowing as Ashlyn wants it to be. This could be a completely perfect thing that will get Ali to cling to Ashlyn the whole night, or Ali will kill her and probably never talk to her ever again. But this is about as dramatic a date someone can get, especially a first date, and Ashlyn took Whitney’s advice and just went with it.

At least Ali’s excitement was pretty on point though.

“Stop smiling,” Ashlyn teased as Ali looked at her again and broke out into another grin.

“I can’t help it,” she shrugged. “Especially with the hat. You look hot.” Her boldness even shocked Ashlyn but she recovered quickly.

“And you look absolutely stunning,” Ashlyn countered.

Ali blushed, looking out the window with a small smile. “You know, I never would’ve guessed you to be a sweet talker. Hot, sexy, all of that I expected. Not stunning or adorable.”

“I’m as charming as they get.”

“And completely modest.”

Ashlyn smirked at that. “Just trust me. You’ll love where we’re going. Well, I hope you will.”

It only took another ten minutes before they finally got there. Ashlyn smiled as Ali got extremely quiet, looking up at the old abandoned saw mill. By now, the sun had gone down and the only light that lit up the parking lot was one single bulb hanging from the side of the building.

Ali slowly turned towards Ashlyn. “Ash, what are we doing here?”

Ashlyn smiled and shut the car off, taking away the headlight and making it even more eerie in the October moonlight. “Ever heard of the Ghost Busters?”

“What?” Ali’s eyes widened. “You’re not serious.”

“You better believe it, babe. Prepared to be scared.”

Chapter Text

“So, ghost busters like hunting ghosts?” Ali asked wearily as she stepped out of Ashlyn’s car, her simple Blue Toyota Corolla. “Like… going out and looking for creepy shit? Like walking around and trying to find things that can possess you and kill you?”

Ashlyn chuckled as she walked around the car, leaning against it as she watched Ali survey the area. “Not scared, are you Krieger?”

“No,” she said with a cracked voice. “Just a little creeped out and panicked.”

“You know, there’s a story that goes with this place,” Ashlyn said, stepping right behind Ali and feeling the girl shudder when Ashlyn wrapped her arms around her waist. “The owner was slowly going out of business, and his arch enemy wanted the property. He had no next of kin. No one to give the sawmill to, so when he started to get sick at old age, he burned the place down. Well, tried to at least. See those scorch marks?” She rested her head on Ali’s shoulder and pointed with her right hand towards the left side of the building, where black was running up and down the sides of the building. “They got the fire out rather quickly and then found him inside with a bullet in his head and a gun next to his body.”

Ali swallowed and stepped back into Ashlyn’s embrace. “So why exactly are we here?”

“There’s a rumor. If you walk inside, tap three times on the area where he died, and drop a handful of saw dust,” Ashlyn pulled a little bag out of her pocket with that saw dust, “You’ll hear his voice and footsteps around the mill, like he’s watching you. Some people even claim that they’ve heard his laugh, like a haunting laugh.”

Instantly, Ali turned and buried her head in Ashlyn’s chest, gripping the waist of the blond like a lifeline. “Okay, what happened to a first date with dinner and a movie?”

“I’m charming, not cliché. Well, except for the dinner part.”

“Promise I won’t get hurt?”

Ashlyn chuckled, kissing the top of Ali’s head. “I would never let anything seriously happen to you. I promise.”

After a few more minutes, Ali took a deep breath and pulled back, grabbing Ashlyn’s hand. “I’m going to freak the fuck out.”

Her potty mouth was more than amusing to Ashlyn. “Time to make things interesting then.”

To her surprise, Ali wasn’t too jumpy. She gripped Ashlyn’s hand in a death grip but not every sound made her jump, although there was a wolf howl that caused her to grip Ashlyn’s hip and ask if she had at least a pocket knife or a gun. That was an interesting conversation.

But once they got inside, Ali moved from Ashlyn’s side to her back, gripping her sweatshirt tightly and basically trying to hide herself from everything.

“There it is,” Ashlyn pointed, walking towards the drawing on the floor, the chalk drawing. “I’m not sure if someone just drew that or if that was really drawn by the people that found him twenty five years ago, but that is creepy.”

Ali didn’t even look and just muttered a “Uh huh. Yeah.”

Ashlyn chuckled. “Want to do the sawdust thing?”

“Sure…”

“These machines look like they’re going to fall apart,” Ashlyn pointed out.

“Yup.”

“How are you doing?”

"Terrible."

At this point, Ashlyn was having real trouble trying not to laugh. Although the wind would blow sometimes, causing a few noises, nothing was too creepy about the place. “Ali, just look around. I promise that you’re safe.”

She pulled back slightly, but kept her grip on Ashlyn’s back. “The saw is disgusting. The roof looks like it’s going to fall through. If anyone even tries to walk in the second story, they might crash to the floor. And I’m not shivering because it’s cold. I swear I saw someone walk by that window and now I’m panicking.”

Ashlyn looked up, wondering what Ali was talking about. “Wait, what?”

“That one,” she pointed towards the window where the only light from the parking lot truly shines through. “I think that was a real person.”

“Are you sure?” Ashlyn asked.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” She grabbed Ali’s hand, taking a deep breath. “Want to check it out?”

“Nope. I want to leave.”

There was only one door in and out of this place though that was open, and that was the one by the window where Ali saw someone walk by. At this point, Ashlyn was honestly kind of nervous.

“It’s probably just some kids,” Ashlyn whispered. “I mean, there’s no such thing as ghosts, right? Maybe it was just a tree branch or whatever.”

Ali looked back at Ashlyn, finally. “Are you saying that for my benefit or yours?”

And just with that question, the sound of a shattering window caused them both so scream and duck, turning around to see the glass fall from the second story, far enough away that it wouldn’t hurt them but still scared the shit out of them.

“Okay,” Ashlyn said after the glass stopped falling. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Agreed,” Ali said in a hurry. But as they started to speed walk for the exit, they heard a laugh, a man’s laugh. And they froze. And looked around. And Ashlyn had Ali next to her in a protective stance, looking towards the corner that the sound came from.

“You didn’t put the sawdust down, right?” Ali asked wearily.

Ashlyn shook her head. “So nothing should be happening.”

“And yet...”

The laughter intensified, booming through the entire mill by now. Ali was breathing hard. Ashlyn was frantic trying to figure out where it was coming from and reached down to grab and old piece of metal, pulling Ali behind her. “Okay, stay here.”

“Hell no,” Ali hissed back. Ashlyn reached down and grabbed her own metal rod, causing Ali’s eyes to widen. “Can you even hit a ghost?”

“I can try.”

“Won’t it just go through them?” Ali added.

Ashlyn shrugged one shoulder. “It’s worth a shot.”

“Speaking of, I’m going to need a drink after this,” Ali said quietly. “Otherwise I’m never going to sleep.”

“Assuming we live through this.”

They slowly walked over to the sound of the voice, and just as Ashlyn reached a giant piece of cloth, covering where the voice was coming from, she slowly reached down and yanked it up, both of them ready to strike.

And all they saw was a Bluetooth speaker.

Ashlyn frowned. “What the fu–”

“BOO!”

The two screamed, jumping forward and swinging behind them. Ali missed completely, throwing the rod past the intruders but Ashlyn… she nailed the intruder in the shoulder, watching in the darkness as a body hit the floor. But only one, the other was standing.

“Holy shit, Ashlyn!”

That voice. It was Whitney. And Whitney bent down to assess the damage of the fallen person, who Ashlyn just stared at with her heart racing, her palms sweaty, and her hands shaking. Whitney squatted to in order to assess the injury Ashlyn caused to the fourth member.

The other person was gripping her shoulder, and Ashlyn recognized her when she spoke. “Damn, Ashlyn. You’ve got quite the swing on you, girl.”

“Pinoe?” Ali asked, dropping to her knees and pulling her phone out, shining the light on the other pair. They were in all black, head to toe with hats on. Ali gave them a ‘what the fuck’ look. “We could’ve killed you guys.”

“Where did you learn to swing like that?” Pinoe groaned, sitting up and rubbing her shoulder.

Ashlyn shrugged, finally calming down a little. “I slapped a kid in the face with a fish when I was in elementary school. Since then, I kinda got good at it.”

“Can we talk about this when we get out of here?” Ali begged, jumping lightly on her toes. “This place gives me the creeps.”

“Do you need the hospital?” Whitney asked, helping Pinoe to her feet.

Pinoe shook her head. “And give Ashlyn the satisfaction? Hell no. Just take me to Waffle House. Grease can heal me.”

_______________________________

It was about four miles down the road when suddenly, Ali just burst out laughing. Ashlyn was driving in the dark and gave her a strange look. “Ali, are you okay?”

“I can’t believe we did that!” she yelled, laughing to herself.

Ashlyn chuckled. “You sound like Whitney.”

“I mean, that place was abandoned, for decades! And we just waltzed in there like it was nothing.”

“I wouldn’t say it was nothing.”

“And I don’t care if that was Whitney and Pinoe. You should’ve seen your face. You knocked the shit out of Megan. Which she kind of deserved it. But I’ve never had such a rush on the first date. I mean, normally it’s all awkward and you don’t know what to talk about. But this was anything but. Honestly, I’ll never forget this.” Ali leaned over and put her lips to Ashlyn’s cheek, smiling at her. “Thank you.”

Ashlyn blushed and tried her best to keep her eyes on the road, only getting a small glance at Ali. “Any time.”

“So we can go again?”

“To the same place?”

“Somewhere new,” Ali begged. “I mean, it is October. It just makes since to go be ghost busters and to haunted houses and corn mazes and fright fest like Oktober fest, like they have in Germany, and –”

Ashlyn shook her head with a smile. “I have awoken a monster. Oh my god, what have I done?”

They pulled up to a stop sign, and just as Ashlyn started to go again, Ali told her to wait.

“What’s up?” Ashlyn asked, watching as Whitney’s car disappeared in the distance.

Ali hesitated momentarily, and then she reached up, grabbed Ashlyn’s face, and pulled her in for a heated kiss. Ashlyn gasped into it, closing her eyes instantly and wishing that the angle would’ve allowed for her to touch Ali too but she couldn’t, especially with the tightness in her shoulder recently due to soccer.

When Ali pulled back, she kept her forehead pressed to Ashlyn. “Thank you. Tonight was intense and terrifying, but it was so you. You don’t do anything by the book, do you?”

Ashlyn chuckled. “I like to think that I’ll do certain things by the book. But in the sake of keeping things interesting, no. I’m a bit out there.”

“I like that.” Ali kissed her again, and Ashlyn relished in it. “Really like that.”

“I’m glad. Because I really like you.”

Ali beamed. “I’d hope so.”

“I do.”

“Now we should probably go before Pinoe has jokes about how we fell behind,” Ali said, planting a small kiss on her cheek before she pulled back and sat back in her seat. “Drive, speed racer.”

“It’s really hard to drive when I’m so unfocused on the road,” Ashlyn pointed out.

Ali smiled at her in the darkness. “Try not to kill us on the way back. I’ll make it worth your while if we live through this.”

_______________

Pinoe had all kinds of comments why they were 5 minutes late. She wouldn’t let the pair get away with anything. Even after waffles, hashbrowns, and chocolate milk, she was still drilling them with teasing questions. And although Ashlyn found some of them amusing, it was starting to get kind of annoying towards Ali who only wished half the stuff Pinoe suggested were true.

And then, there was Whitney. She was still nervous about Pinoe’s shoulder, what coach would say tomorrow at practice, why her star outside midfielder with the perfect crosses would have a massive bruise on the outside of her shoulder, and how to talk themselves out of it. She was worrying about everything, leaving the goofing off to Ashlyn and the rest of the group.

“At least we match in the shoulder issue,” Ashlyn pointed out, smirking at Pinoe at one point.

And that only earned a scowl from Whitney who insisted they both go to the training room before practice, Ali agreeing almost instantly.

By the time they finally got back to campus, it was almost midnight and Ali had an 8:00 A.M. class in the morning.

Ashlyn walked her to the door, even if the chilly air was starting to get to her. She’d have to drive to the other side of campus, a small 1/3 of a mile away but it was worth it to see Ali for a few more minutes.

“Tonight was actually amazing,” Ali said as they made it to her door, reaching to open it when Ashlyn stopped her. “What are you doing?”

Ashlyn grabbed her hands, holding them with a small smile. “I’m doing this right. I walked you to your door. I’m going to kiss you goodnight. And I’m going to see you tomorrow, and then the next day, and the next day.”

Ail shifted on her feet, looking down at their hands. “But… what if I want you to stay?”

“Really?” Ashlyn asked instantly, but she shook her head to clear it. “I want to, but I went fast with Chloe, and I don’t want to do that with you Ali. I want to do this right with you. No rushing. No secrets.”

“There are no secrets,” Ali insisted. “And I’m not Chloe. And we’re not rushing this. In fact,” she stepped closer, removing her hands and wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck instead. She leaned up and kissed Ashlyn, smiling when the blonde responded instantly and put her hands on her hips, pulling Ali closer.

They kissed long enough that the cold was no longer there and all Ashlyn felt was warm and fuzzy inside. And when they finally pulled back, Ali actually only pulled herself closer and buried her face in Ashlyn’s neck, the cold and hot mix causing goosebumps to rise on their skin.

“Thank you,” Ali whispered, holding her tight. “Tonight really was amazing. Dinner and everything, even with Pinoe and Whitney.”

“I’m still surprised Whitney agreed to that. Pinoe must have paid her to mess with us.”

Ali chuckled. “Or being around you must be changing her.”

Ashlyn smiled, rubbing Ali’s back softly. “You know, this is the end of our first official date.”

“It is.”

“Which means we get to have a second one,” Ashlyn implied.

Ali chuckled, only pulling herself even tighter, if that was even possible. “As long as I get to plan it.”

Ashlyn pulled back, giving her a look. “Oh yeah? What were you thinking?”

Ali shook her head, giving her a small kiss again. “It’s my surprise this time. Although it’ll be hard since you set the bar so high already.”

“Dinner and a horror experience. It’s the best first date,” Ashlyn teased.

“Well, I liked it.” Ali kissed her again. “And I like you.” And she kissed her again. “And I really like kissing you.”

Ashlyn chuckled against her lips. “You’re bolder than I thought you would be.”

Ali shrugged, giving her one last, long kiss before pulling back completely, walking to her door. “Well, maybe you bring it out in me,” she said before opening the door and giving Ashlyn one last look before she closed it.

Ashlyn stood there, staring at the door with a goofy smile on her face and shoved her hands in her pockets. “Oh, I am so screwed.”

Chapter Text

It had been 2 weeks since their first date. And although they had taken it slow and calm and simple, they hadn’t had time for a second date between school, soccer, Halloween, traveling for games, and everything else going on. They had gone on a few group trips, like to a haunted house in town, but getting the two together was a bit harder.

But it had been a great two weeks, despite the trouble Ashlyn was having of finding time with Ali and only Ali. But it was still fun and exciting and Ali, surprising Ashlyn still, was always the one to initiate anything because Ashlyn didn’t want to push her into anything. And every time Ali did something like that, it only brought a smile to the blonde’s face.

All in all, Ashlyn was pretty happy so far. Chris kept teasing her about it. Her Grandma couldn’t get enough of Ashlyn’s talks about Ali. She barely wanted to talk about Ashlyn at all, asking how Ali was doing, what Ali was up to, how their relationship was, when they would meet her, if she would come down for the Holidays. Even her dad didn’t completely reject the idea, although he didn’t press for details. She found herself just telling him randomly, dropping it like a bomb. And he didn’t exactly accept it, asking simple questions and kind of staying clear of the subject. But it was a start.

It was working out pretty well though. And Ashlyn had never really been happier.

Well, at the moment, she might have been happier before. Because Coach Jill just called her into her office, and she wasn’t exactly sure why.

She knocked on the door, stepping in when Jill yelled “It’s open!”

No one was in there except the two of them, and Ashlyn took a seat across the desk. It was almost practice time, so she was in her shorts and practice shirt, ready to get to the field, wondering why there was a meeting with Jill now of all things.

“Hey, Coach,” Ashlyn nodded. “Um, can I ask what this is about?”

Jill sighed. “Honestly, there are a few things I wanted to ask you about.”

“Okay?”

“First, Ali.”

Ashlyn swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous. She knew that this kind of talk would have to happen, but didn’t expect it to be thrown in her face.

Jill looked her dead in the eyes. “You’ll be respectful and professional about this, right? Not letting your feelings get in the way?”

“Yes,” Ashlyn answered immediately. “Absolutely.”

“Good. That’s what Ali told me.”

She frowned. “You already talked to Ali?”

“She came to me and told me,” Jill answered, leaning back in her seat more casually now that the first mountain was crossed. “Ali knows that secrets aren’t really tolerated around here, not that I didn’t know before she came to me anyway. I’ve noticed over the past few weeks or so that things were changing.”

Ashlyn fidgeted in her seat. “Um, really?”

“Do you want to talk about this or move on?”

“Move on,” Ashlyn nodded. “Definitely. Ali and I won’t let anything get in the way of training. I promise.”

“Good.” Jill reached across her desk for a sheet of paper, an email that was printed out. “Now, onto this.” She slid it over to Ashlyn who grabbed it with curiosity.

Coach Ellis,
I do not want to be the one to tell you this, but we have a problem with one of your players. Ashlyn Harris decided today that Chemistry Lab would be a joke and almost blew up the lab with some hydrogen gas that she wanted to light on fire for fun using balloons. Basically, it was classified as an ‘accident’ because she really is a brilliant student, even if she gets too bored with regular labs and starts to make her own.

Just wanted to let you know before someone else mentioned it and you overheard. I’m not upset because she was at least safe about her hazardous activities, keeping it to the back of the class, but I’m a calmer teacher compared to some on campus. It could have been extremely different.

I was hoping you could talk to her, get her to calm that fire of hers before she moves onto the harder teachers at this school.
Thank you,
Dr. Katherine Pattenson

Ashlyn slowly slid the email back towards her coach, looking down at her shoes.

Jill was quiet for a moment before she left out a chuckle. “Really Ashlyn? Trying to set fire to the Chemistry lab?”

With the calmer atmosphere, Ashlyn finally looked up with a small smile. “The lab required a lot of down time and patience and that last part doesn’t compute with my brain very well.”

“I asked her for your grade in that class,” Jill added. “You’ve got a 99 in a freshmen class where the average is an 82.”

Ashlyn nodded, feeling shy for the first time in her life.

“I don’t think I have to worry about you much. You’re smart and you’re reckless, but not to the point that anything is going to go awry because of it. Just try not to get into any more unnecessary trouble?”

Ashlyn chuckled. “Um, yeah. Thanks Coach.” She stood, heading towards the door when Jill called her back one more time. “Yeah?”

“One last thing,” Jill mentioned, giving her a small smile that wasn’t so sweet. “You’re staying after practice today, a little punishment conditioning.”

She sighed, knowing that she should’ve seen that coming. “I’ll be there,” and with that she turned and sighed, heading towards the door with less of a kick in her step.

__________

Ashlyn collapsed on the couch in Ali’s suite, watching as Heather made fun of her and went to the shower and she just flicked the other girl off because that’s all the energy she had at the moment.

Ali chuckled when she walked out, toweling out her freshly showered hair in a pair of sweats and a long sleeve shirt she stole from Ashlyn’s drawer. “You just got out of conditioning?”

“Yes and I can’t imagine getting into real trouble,” Ashlyn mumbled. “I was too tired to even change out of the practice gear afterwards. I couldn’t even make it to my own room and yours was closer so, you know.”

Ali chuckled. “You’re getting sweat all over our couch.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

Ali sighed. “Hey, I think the other shower is going to be free until Pinoe and Kelley get back from the gym. You can shower in there if you want to.”

“I can barely move.”

“Come on.” Ali moved towards her and sat back on her heels, looking at Ashlyn when she was eye level. “If you shower, I’ll give you a massage afterwards. You can take a nap. I’ll order pizza or something from dinner or go get you something from the dining hall. But I’m not doing it with you all sweaty.”

Ashlyn sighed. “Fine.”

It took her about twenty minutes to finally get out of the shower and she put on Ali’s old high school shirt and one of Kelley’s sweatpants before walking back towards the living room with the couch. But at this point, Ali was on the couch with Heather this time and when she looked up, Heather followed her gaze and smiled.

“I’ll move to the floor,” Heather announced, sliding down. “I heard someone had a rough day and deserves a massage.”

Ashlyn gave Ali the most ‘you’re an amazing human being and I’m so fucking grateful’ look before collapsing on the couch, her head in Ali’s lap as she instantly started to fall asleep.

Ali chuckled. “You know, I can’t really do a massage with you like this.”

“Just let me nap for a few minutes?” Ashlyn asked, yawning and wrapping one arm around Ali’s right leg like a pillow.

“You’re getting my sweatpants wet,” Ali teased.

Ashlyn only held on tighter. “Please don’t make me move.”

Heather shook her head, looking back at them with a knowing smile. “You two are precious and I love you guys and I approve and you make me wish my boyfriend went to this school. That’s all I have to say.”

Ashlyn felt Ali’s fingers move through her wet hair and started to drift into sleep even more. A few minutes later, she was barely able to hear the conversation around her. The last thing she heard, maybe heard maybe imagined, was…

“Is she asleep already?” Heather asked.

Ali leaned forward, nodding a little. “I think so. Coach must have really put her through hell because of her little chemistry mess.”

“Well, we knew that she wasn’t the most rational person. It’s amazing to me some of the stuff she gets herself into and out of after she gets caught.”

“Yeah,” Ali chuckled. “But that’s why I love her.”

Heather was quiet for only a split second. “Like a friend or like how I think you meant that?”

Ali was quiet this time, and for longer, her fingers stopping in Ashlyn’s hair momentarily. “I’m not sure. But whatever I feel, I like it.”

And with that, Ashlyn fell asleep, barely recollecting anything that was said before dreamland took her over completely.

__________________

Ashlyn woke on the couch about an hour later, but she was no longer on Ali’s lap. She was spooning the older girl, her arms wrapped around her as they lied on the couch with the TV on.

She smiled as she thought about it. If someone told her that she’d actually be dating Ali Krieger when she first saw her at the pre-season meeting, she would’ve laughed. Even after pre-season, she always thought that it was a little sister big sister relationship to Ali, especially since Ashlyn was Ali’s “freshmen to watch”. Really, everyone looked out for her. It took the whole team to keep her under control sometimes.

That caused her to tighten her arms around Ali, pressing her forehead into Ali’s back as the other girl awoke.

The brunette turned in her arms onto her back, looking up as Ashlyn propped herself up on her elbows to look down at her. “Hey you.”

Ashlyn smiled back. “Hey. Did you want to go to dinner or…?”

Ali shook her head. “I’m kind of content where I am.”

“I am too.”

She smiled, and reached up, pulling Ashlyn down. Their lips pressed together lightly but Ashlyn felt something in it like she always did. And her smile broke out when Ali bit her lip and pulled at it. This went on for a while, simple kisses, a little teasing, some giggling when Ashlyn touched Ali’s side where she was ticklish.

This was what Ashlyn had wanted, how it started with Chloe but this was not the same. She cursed herself for even comparing the two, and pushed it in the back of her mind. Because Ali was better than Chloe ever was in all aspects, and she didn’t want to even think about her old girlfriend who didn’t appreciate her. She wanted to think about Ali and only Ali.

So she turned and maneuvered herself until Ali was under her completely, Ashlyn pushing her hands beside Ali’s head as their lips moved almost perfectly with each other. Ali’s hands moved up and down her arms as they kissed, moving from her messy, still damp blonde hair, down her shoulders and to the sleeves of her t-shirt before going back again through that pattern.

Ali pressed her hands suddenly to Ashlyn’s abs, causing her to tense but it was a good tense. The brunette just smiled against her lips. “You know, maybe we can push this a little further than we normally do.”

Ashlyn didn’t say anything and started kissing down Ali’s jaw and neck, something they barely ventured to most of the time. Ashlyn didn’t want to push anything, but if Ali asked…

The brunette sighed into Ashlyn’s neck, moving to give her more access when they heard the front door to the apartment unlock and open up.

“Why does this not surprise me?” Heather announced as soon as they opened the door.

They both pulled back and looked up to Whitney, Heather, and Kelley with two boxes of Papa John’s pizza in their hands, some waters, and paper plates.

Ashlyn’s stomach suddenly growled, really growled, like loudly growled, and Ali laughed from under her. “Someone is hungry.”

“Wonder why,” Whitney teased with a wink. “What were you two doing while we were gone?”

“Screw you, Whit,” Ashlyn chuckled, moving to slide back behind Ali and wrapping her arms around her.

Ali sunk into her embrace. “Someone feed her. She’s angry when she’s hungry.”

The girls chuckled and continued to tease Ashlyn until they all sat around the room, Heather and the couple on the couch and the other two on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, a free for all going on.

And when Ashlyn finished almost half of a pizza by herself, Heather finally called her out on it. “Was the last time you ate in the stone ages?”

Ashlyn glared at her. “With coach’s little punishment, I might have burned off ten thousand calories.”

“Exaggerate much?” Whitney smirked.

“It was exhausting.”

Kelley laughed. “Maybe for a goalkeeper.”

“Easy now,” Ashlyn pointed. “No keeper jokes.”

“But you are a keeper,” Ali said cheesily as she kissed her cheek.

Ashlyn slightly blushed and shook her head.

Kelley and Whitney exchanged looked before faking a gag, causing Heather to laugh too.

And just at that moment, Ashlyn’s phone started to ring from the floor. She asked Ali to grab it, but when she did she tensed and didn’t hand it to Ashlyn.

That caused the blonde to give her a look. “Ali? Who is it?”

Ali sighed and showed her the phone. “Madison.”

Ashlyn took it hesitantly. “Um, want me to let it go to voicemail?”

“I want her to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine,” Ali snapped but then she shook her head and ran her hands through her hair a little before looking back at Ashlyn. “But here.”

She answered it before handing it to Ashlyn, who was a little hesitant to actually speak until Madison’s questioned “Hello? Ash? Are you there?” came through the phone.

“Hey,” Ashlyn said, still watching Ali’s reaction as the girl ate pizza without a purpose and stared at the TV. “What’s going on?”

“Our test tomorrow, I was hoping you could help me before I die from a brain aneurism. I need an A in order to keep my Dean’s List going and I need you to help me to do it.”

“So studying?”

“There are just some concepts that I’m having some issues with and you were answering the questions pretty well in class so…”

Ali rolled her eyes at that, causing Kelley to snicker.

Ashlyn was at a crossroads. She didn’t want to piss Ali off, but she was also someone who was used to helping people. Initially, she would’ve said yes in a heartbeat. Now… she wasn’t sure. But she knew that she could never turn her back on someone who needed her. She’s always done that. Even after Chloe broke her heart, she would still help that girl if she ever called and needed anything.

So she took a moment and finally nodded. “Yeah, sure. Meet in the library in ten minutes? I have to finish up my studying anyway.”

She heard Madison sigh in relief. “Thank you. You’re a life saver.”

“Yeah. No problem.” Then she hung up, immediately looking at Ali. “Okay, before you get mad–”

“Are you serious?” Ali blurted out, her normally calm and beautiful eyes now heated and furious.

Ashlyn sighed. “Ali, it’s just for school. She needs my help and–”

Ali shook her head. “She was making out against a wall with you two weeks ago. She can find someone else to tutor her, not my girlfriend! Especially since she keeps hitting on you like I’m not even there. You should know better than to just say yes to her, Ashlyn.”

The other three girls had a sudden interest in their phones or the TV, and Ashlyn wished that she was right there with them.

“This is the biggest test we’ve had this year,” Ashlyn answered. “And after this, I’ll tell her to get someone else to help her with our last test and the final, okay? I promise.”
Ali sighed and looked away. “Fine. Whatever. Just go.”

Ashlyn’s mouth dropped and her voice cracked when she said, “Ali.” When her girlfriend didn’t answer, Ashlyn sighed and pressed a kiss to her temple, hating how Ali just turned further away before standing. “Okay. Um, I’ll call you later?”

Ali shrugged. “I may be asleep by the time you’re done.”

“But–”

She shook her head, moving away from her and pulling her legs to her chest. “Ash, just go.”

The blonde sighed, hating the fact that they were fighting.

“I’ll walk to the room with you to get your stuff,” Whitney offered, standing to her feet. The pair said by to the others and headed out, and as soon as they were outside with the door closed and out of sight. Ashlyn kicked at the side of the building.

Whitney sighed. “You’re an idiot.”

Ashlyn nodded, wanting to rip her own hair out. “Yeah. I know. But Madison just needs my help. And I really do need to study a bit more before tomorrow.”

“I know that. And deep down Ali knows that, but she’s still worried and hurt.”

“I’m not a player,” Ashlyn pointed out. “I’ve never given her a reason to doubt me.”

“But you did make out with Madison. That’s what worries her.”

Ashlyn groaned, rubbing her hands over her face. “God, how many times are we going to go through this?”

Chapter Text

“So is Ali still mad?” Whitney asked as the two were up and getting ready for school.

Ashlyn was looking at her phone. She called Ali twice and sent her a text, and has yet to hear anything back. There was a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach as she shook her head. “I didn’t get an answer so I’m going to go with yes.”

“You do realize that you basically ditched Ali to go help a girl who you had quite the make out session with and who obviously flirts with and likes you and hates Ali?”

Ashlyn sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I got it. I made a mistake but I couldn’t just say no.”

“You’re too good of a person.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Ashlyn shot back. “I mean, nothing happened. I helped her with the stuff she needed help with, we went over the study guide one more time, and I left. That’s it.”

Whitney moved to sit next to Ashlyn on her bed, giving her best friend a look. “I talked to Heather yesterday.”

“So?”

“So, we talked about Ali.”

Ashlyn figured she was missing something, so she looked at Whitney impatiently. “I have my test in twenty minutes. You need to kind of speed this up.”

“Okay, smartass,” Whitney said with an eye roll. “Look, when it comes to Ali, she’s kind of insecure. Heather said that she’s always been like that, but it normally wasn’t noticeable. She keeps it inside. The fact that you ditched her to go with Madison didn’t help that insecurity. You know what I mean?”

That wasn’t even something Ashlyn thought about. Ali never really seemed insecure at all. In fact, she was the most confident person that Ashlyn had ever really seen. “I didn’t mean for it to look how Ali took it. It was just helping a friend.”

“But she did take it wrong. And you need to talk to her.”

Ashlyn showed Whitney the unanswered calls and texts. “I’m kind of trying and she’s kind of blowing me off.”

“She doesn’t have class for another hour and a half. She’ll text you when she’s awake and you’ll talk this out over lunch and be fine before practice.”

Ashlyn gave her a look. “And you know this… how?”

She shrugged with a smile. “Because you two can’t stay mad at each other for long. And if you let this mess up your practices, coach will make your punishment after practice even worse than it was yesterday.”

Ashlyn took a deep, shuddering breath. “God help me.”

“All you have is me and Heather. Sorry. Jesus has bigger problems.”

________________

But it wasn’t fixed before lunch because Ali claimed she had a tutoring session. And Ashlyn had Biology lab all the way up until practice. And keepers had a separate practice today to really work them and prepare them for the conference tournament coming up. And then Ali ran off to the training room, claiming that Ben wanted to check on her knee that she’d been having problems with. And when Ashlyn texted her about dinner, she had already made plans.

“Dammit!” Ashlyn yelled when she got that text, throwing her phone against her bed.

Kling and Morgan (the two amigos) poked their heads through the bathroom door. “Still haven’t made up with the princess?” Morgan asked curiously.

“She’s completely ignoring me.” Ashlyn just fell on the floor, her back against the rug as she stared at the ceiling.

The pair walked inside and took their seats on Ashlyn’s bed. Kling gave her a sympathetic look. “Dude, why don’t you just stomp over to her room and demand what her problem is?”

“I know what the problem is.”

“So why don’t you just kiss and make up?” Morgan asked.

Ashlyn gave the two freshmen a look. “How can we be the same age but yet you two are so clueless?”

They frowned. “Meaning?”

“This isn’t a movie. I can’t just walk over there and kiss her and pretend everything will be okay,” she explained. “Ali is mad. And it’s thin ice I’m walking on right now. I can’t push too hard or I’ll fall through, got it?”

Kling nodded and Morgan shrugged. “But,” Kling continued. “You two are too cute to break up.”

“We’re not broken up. We just recently got together anyway.”

“This is why I don’t have a boyfriend,” Morgan announced. “Because this is confusing. You’re not broken up but you’re not talking, and you can’t kiss her even though you’re together.”

Kling shook her head. “It’s only this complicated with girls. Guys are just stupid. Stay in a heterosexual relationship and you’ll be fine.”

Ashlyn couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I may be upset, but you two are too stupid not to laugh at. All couples fight, just like friends fight and families fight. It doesn’t mean you avoid people in general. You just have to pick your battles.”

“So Ali picked to fight this battle?” Morgan asked.

Ashlyn nodded. It was like talking a relationship through to two five year olds. “Yeah, basically. I want it fixed but Ali is kind of standing her ground on stressing me out.”
“So, is this like the makeup sex thing people talk about?” Morgan asked.

“Wait, sex thing? Are you a virgin?” Ashlyn blurted out, causing the other girl to blush. Not only her, but Kling too, and Ashlyn quickly recovered. “Because that’s not a bad thing, guys. It doesn’t matter.”

They both shrugged. Kling spoke, “I mean, I’ve never really had the chance I guess. Always focusing on school and soccer.”

“Same,” Morgan added. “I guess the opportunity hasn’t come up.”

Ashlyn nodded. “Well, for the record, for couples who have been together longer it might be a make-up sex thing. But Ali and I are nowhere near that point. Got it?”

They both nodded. Kling asked, “So what are you going to do? If she keeps pushing you away, are you just going to let it happen?”

“Or are you going to point out that she’s being the ridiculous one right now and get straight to the point?” Morgan added.

“No idea,” Ashlyn sighed. “No. Freaking. Idea.”

_____________

It was the next morning when Ashlyn was at breakfast that she actually saw Ali face to face, despite all the trouble that she was going through in order to make it happen. And her heart broke a little when Ali saw her and took Heather to the other side of the cafeteria away from the group. Kelley and a few of the girls that Ashlyn was sitting with took notice and shot her a sympathetic look.

But Ashlyn wasn’t going to have her cold shoulder anymore. Dammit, this was going to be fixed right here and right now.

She stood, rather abruptly, and made her way over to Ali. She actually bumped into John who gave her a death glare but Ashlyn was too focused on Ali at a two person table in the corner to really give John two shits of her life.

“Ali,” She said as she finally got there, receiving two pairs of wide eyes. “We need to talk.”

Ali, after she got over her shock, looked back to her food. “Honestly, Ashlyn, I have nothing to say to you right now. I’m still not okay with what happened and I don’t want to talk to you about it.”

“Well, get over it. Because we need to talk and we need to talk now.”

“I’m going to get some cereal and talk to Pinoe,” Heather announced. Ashlyn was grateful as she got up, taking her food with her and heading to the team’s table, leaving Ashlyn to slide in.

Ashlyn took maybe a split second before she let it rip. “Ali, you’ve been ignoring me. I know you don’t like Madison, but she needed my help for the test yesterday. But all we did was study. If she needs my help, I can’t just say no. She didn’t hit on me, nothing happened so there is nothing to be upset about. You’re being unreasonable. ”

Ali dropped her fork. “Excuse me? I’m unreasonable?”

“Yes,” Ashlyn nodded. “Absolutely.”

“Ashlyn, Madison is like an ex-girlfriend and you chose me over here that night when she called you. It was like you were her puppy and you just went running when she whistled. How do you think that made me feel?”

“She’s nothing like an ex-girlfriend because we hung out in the library every once in a while and she kissed me when I was wasted at the Halloween party. But that’s it. I promise you that I don’t have feelings for her like that. It was just study help.”

Ali sighed and looked down, playing with her fingers on the table. “It still hurt.”

“And I’m sorry.” She reached forward, grabbing Ali’s hand and holding eye contact. “I never meant to make you feel upset or inferior. But Ali…” she paused, looking into those brown eyes that had her so captivated and just blurt it out, “I love you. And I miss you. And I hate fighting with you.”

Ali’s eyes widened and they started to shine like she was going to cry. “Really?”

“Yes. Really. You were one of my best friends before we started this, and I loved you then, and I love you now, and I’m sorry and I just want to be able to–”

Ali smiled and reached forward, pulling Ashlyn by her shirt into a kiss in the middle of the cafeteria. They didn’t know it, but John saw it, the team saw it, Madison saw it. Hell, one of Ali’s teachers saw it. But Ashlyn couldn’t care less and after being deprived of Ali for almost two days, all she wanted was to keep kissing her.

Apparently, so did Ali.

“I love you too,” Ali smiled against her lips, kissing her one more time before pulling back. “Let’s get out of here,” the brunette whispered as she stood, pulling Ashlyn up with their fingers intertwined. “Now.”

Ashlyn’s eyebrows raised in delight and amusement. “Now?”

“Right. Now.” Ali practically yanked Ashlyn through the cafeteria, earning a catcall from Pinoe and causing a lot of the cafeteria to turn and look at the pair that was rushing out of there like the place was on fire.

Once they were outside, Ashlyn finally managed to speak. “Um, where are we going?”

“My room,” she said, turning and kissing Ashlyn one more time in the middle of the lawn.

Ashlyn pulled her back and stopped her from moving, gripping her hips tightly, getting her brain gears working again finally. “Ali, you have class in twenty minutes.”

She looked at her watch and groaned. “Are you shitting me?”

“It’s a five minute walk to your place and then a ten minute walk back to the Language Building for your German class.”

“I hate this timing,” Ali complained, pressing her forehead into Ashlyn’s shoulder as the other girl wrapped her arm around her.

Ashlyn chuckled. “Well, in your haste to get out of the cafeteria and have your way with me, you left your school stuff in there.”

Ali blushed. “I… yeah. That’s basically what I was intending to do.”

Ashlyn glanced around, finding a gazebo about fifty yards away. “Well, text Pinoe to get your bag for you. We need to talk.”

The pair made their way over to the gazebo, taking a seat. Ashlyn wasn’t sure what other people were saying, lord knows what they were saying, but she was only concerned about what this conversation held for her and Ali.

They held hands as they sat down, Ali shivering slightly when the breeze came through and Ashlyn slid closer, wrapping her arms around her. “We agreed to take this slow, right?”

Ali sighed. “Whose moronic idea was that?”

“Mine,” Ashlyn smirked. “But just trust me. It’s a good idea. It’s best for the both of us.”

“What if I want to speed this up?”

“We can when we feel ready for it. I just don’t want us to jump into something too fast,” Ashlyn explained. “The team is going to be affected by our choices, you know. I know that a relationship is between two people, but it affects more than two people. And both of us are too selfless to really leave them out of this. You know that and I know that.”

“I know,” Ali said, dropping her head to Ashlyn’s shoulder. “And you’re a lot better at this than I am.”

“I just don’t want you to regret anything. Ever.”

Ali nodded, giving her a small kiss on the lips and smiling up at her. “You’re too good to me.”

“You’re too good for me,” she corrected and pressed a kiss to Ali's forehead, pulling her back in. “Way too good.”

Ali smiled but at that moment, Pinoe came out with her bag, waving it in the air. “ALI! IT’S TIME FOR CLASS!”

Ashlyn chuckled. “Time to get your education on.”

“Yeah, but first,” Ali leaned forward and planted a hard kiss to Ashlyn’s lips, almost making the other girl dizzy and knocking her over with the force of it. “I’ll see you later, hot stuff.”

“Yes you will,” Ashlyn said back to her, watching her walk away with a kick in her step. She smiled to herself when Pinoe jumped on Ali, giving Ashlyn a look of amusement. But Ashlyn was still too caught up in her girlfriend, shaking her head to herself. “Yes you will.”

________________

Ashlyn woke from the nap she was taking before practice very happily. Her eyes were closed but she could feel the hands rubbing her back softly, massaging her bad shoulder specifically, with a weight pressing on her lower back.

She smiled as she woke up, cracking one eye open to look back at Ali who smiled down her, planting a kiss on her shoulder where her sports bra didn’t cover.

“How was class?” Ashlyn asked sleepily.

Ali shrugged, moving her lips across her shoulder to her back and to the other side, causing goosebumps to rise on Ashlyn’s skin.

“Ali,” Ashlyn hummed, closing her eyes again. “That feels so good.”

“Just relax,” Ali said against her neck, placing an open kiss there before brushing her lips back down, swooping Ashlyn’s hair to the side to give her the most access.

Ashlyn did as Ali moved over her, pressing her hands into the knots in her shoulder. Kissing down her spine. Rubbing circles along her lower pack. Squeezing between her shoulder blades. It took about five minutes before Ashlyn started to fall back asleep again, loving the relaxation that Ali could make her feel. She took a deep sigh when Ali leaned down and kissed her cheek, but Ashlyn turned before she got away and caught her lips with her own.

They kissed as Ashlyn rolled over to her back, her hands going straight to Ali’s hips and their lips moving together lightly. It was basically innocent. Ashlyn’s hands didn’t move. Ali didn’t press her for anything just kept her hands on Ashlyn’s cheeks, smiling as they both kissed each other, biting each other’s lips and laughing whenever Ashlyn touched Ali’s ticklish sides.

Ashlyn finally paused when a random thought popped in her head. “How did you get in here?”

Ali chuckled and pulled back slightly. “I ran into Whitney. She needed help from Heather and went into my room.”

“So we’re alone?”

Ali smirked. “The bathroom door is locked, so yeah.” She leaned down and brushed her lips over Ashlyn’s. “Completely alone.”

“And we’re okay?” Ashlyn asked, eyes still closed. “About the whole Madison thing?”

“Yes. It’s fine.” Ali breathed. “Be friends with her or whatever, but just kiss me, Ashlyn. Please.”

Ashlyn yanked her girlfriend down hard, their kiss turning heated very quickly. Her hands slowly rose up Ali’s sides, pulling her shirt with it. She wasn’t sure how far to push it, but Ali sat back and yanked her shirt off without a question, immediately going back to kissing Ashlyn with their skin to skin contact, causing the younger girl to moan louder than she intended.

Her skin was like fire, and Ashlyn wanted more as Ali moved over her, their hands roaming and their kissing getting more and more heated. She wasn’t sure how or who initiated it or what started it, but their tongues were dancing together as Ali grabbed Ashlyn’s hands, sliding them up high on her abs before reaching the underpart of her Victoria’s Secret bra.

Ashlyn’s breath hitched, but Ali nodded to her before going back to kiss her again, so Ashlyn did what she had been dying to do for a while.

And Ali moaned as soon as Ashlyn touched her. She dropped her head to press into the crook of Ashlyn’s neck, but Ashlyn could feel her kissing the skin softly and smiled as she turned and pressed a small kiss to Ali’s temple. She squeezed Ali one more time before moving her hands to her cheeks, pulling her mouth back to hers and kissing her softly.

“Ash?” Ali mumbled against her lips a few seconds later.

“Hmm?”

Ali pulled back, looking into Ashlyn’s hooded eyes. “You said you loved me. So… when do you think we’ll… take the next step? We already talked a little bit so…”

Ashlyn sighed at that, knowing what Ali was talking about. But there was so much that went into it. Especially Kyle. Although he had relapsed, he managed to get a phone call to Ashlyn last week to keep in touch, luxury of Max and Tom. They talked for a few before giving the phone to a nervous but excited Ali, and that advice was what Ashlyn needed at the moment. She didn’t want to push Ali, but she also wanted Ali to be a hundred percent ready.

She pushed her girlfriend back and turned, pressing her own back against the wall behind the bed as Ali settled into her front, both staring at the TV that was barely on.

With Ali’s back to Ashlyn’s front, the blonde dropped her head to Ali’s shoulder, squeezing her. “Ali, you know I want to.”

“But?”

“But,” Ashlyn paused and she pressed a small kiss to Ali’s exposed shoulder. “Have you ever… done this with a girl?”

The question caused Ali to turn away from her. “Um, no. I haven’t. But there’s plenty of bonuses.”

Ashlyn gave her a look. “I mean, yeah, but like what?”

“No getting pregnant.”

“Ha,” Ashlyn laughed, kissing Ali’s neck. “You’re funny.”

“But seriously, is it because this is new for me?”

Ashlyn nodded. “Which is why I don’t want you to feel pushed into anything. And we don’t need to worry about this kind of stuff during season, particularly when we have one game left and then the conference tournament.” Ashlyn squeezed Ali’s body to her in reassurance. “I promise, one day it’ll happen. But right now, we have,” she checked her watch, “Thirty minutes until practice and we probably need to be there in our right minds out of the gutter, you know?”

Ali chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, I got it.”

“One day,” Ashlyn whispered, turning Ali’s head towards her and kissing her lightly on the lips. “Okay?”

Ali nodded, smiling into the kiss.

Chapter Text

The final game before the conference tournament was finally here and the team was stuck in Florida for it. They were second in the conference right now, and if they won this game they would be first, with a home advantage for the first games of the tournament.

And with that in mind, the team was extremely hyped up. They were at the beach momentarily for about an hour, all that Jill would allow them before she forced them to head back to the hotel for the rest. Saturday was technically only a day away and they needed to be focused and not sore and tired from a day at the beach.

But the warm weather was such a nice change compared to the weather they got in Virginia, and the sun was amazing against Ashlyn’s skin. She missed the waves. And the smell. And the sounds. And she didn’t realize how much she would miss until she was back there.

But while the rest of the team ran around and joked on the beach, she stood with her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants when a pair of arms wrapped around her torso. “Hey, sexy.”

She smiled, placing her hand over Ali’s. “Hey.”

“You look like you’re thinking.”

“A little bit.”

“About what?”

Ashlyn shrugged and motioned for Ali to sit. They sat side by side, and Ashlyn played with the sand between her feet with a small smile on her face. “It’s just funny how the beaches up north don’t feel like the beaches here. And yet, when I’m anywhere in Florida, it feels like home.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know what it is. Florida beaches are just different. It reminds me of my grandma and Chris and just reminds me how badly I want to see them.”

“Thanksgiving is soon,” Ali assured her. “Just a few weeks away. And then you’ll see them for almost a whole week.”

She nodded but then countered with, “But I’ll be away from you for a whole week.”

“I’ll just have to give you something to remember me by,” Ali said with a small, teasing smile.

Ashlyn just shook her head lightly at her girlfriend’s constant teasing and playfulness. But her mind quickly went back to her family. They were still on the East Coast, and Grandma and Chris couldn’t afford a 3 hour drive to see her when they were saving money to just get her home over Christmas, not to mention thanksgiving. It wasn’t easy when it came to money between the family, especially with her parents being useless since the big fight issue, but she’d rather have no money and support from her currently family than all the cash in the world with no respect.

Ali saw the gears turning in her girlfriend’s head and slid closer, leaning her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder. “Hey, stop thinking so much. You’re making me nervous.”

“We’re just so close to my family,” Ashlyn finally let out. “And yet, so far. We can’t afford a trip anywhere, really, and the fact I made it up to Virginia is a miracle in and of itself. It just sucks to feel like my family is just out of reach.”

“I could, you know…” Ali paused. “Um, I mean, my family isn’t exactly rich but we’re… well off. I could–”

“No,” Ashlyn said instantly and sternly. “I’m not taking charity, Ali.”

Ali lifted her head from her shoulder. “It’s not–”

“I won’t allow it and neither will Chris or Grandma,” she asserted. “Just… that isn’t how we work and we don’t like to take money from people. Okay? I’ll see them soon enough.”

“But Ashlyn–”

“Just drop it.” Ali did, sighing and sitting back, losing body contact with Ashlyn. She sighed when she felt her girlfriend tense up at her anger. “I’m sorry. I just can’t take that.”

“I should’ve known. You’re as stubborn as I am.” Ali managed a smile and reached to squeeze the blonde’s hand. “I just want you to be able to see your family. Everyone should have that chance.”

“I know. And I get that. I’ll see them soon. Just right now,” she looked behind her to the team, catching Whitney’s eyes who waved them over for a short game of juggling. “We have a game tomorrow and a team to prepare with.”

Ali nodded and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. “Come on. Let’s go before they tease us anymore than necessary.”

---------------

The game itself was a mess. The team they were playing was the number one team in the conference. This win or lose could determine if Ashlyn and the gals went on as conference leads or runner ups into the tournaments.

And right now, it was 1-1 going into the second half.

Ashlyn watched from the side, wrapped up in sweatpants and a light jacket as she bounced back and forth on her heels. Hope was playing amazing, making quite the few insane saves that Ashlyn wasn’t even sure she could’ve gotten to. At least, not without a little adrenaline. Everyone else was playing well though, as well as they could against a team that was just as good.

But a corner was called after Ali blocked a cross, which was when things got a little too intense.

It was a driven ball, and about six different people went for it. But in that huge group, Hope was determined and hit it with her fist, but someone pushed her from behind, causing her to fall into a mass of people and land wrong, very wrong, with a knee to her stomach and her head to the ground.

Ben was running out before the play was even over, before the ref even blew her whistle, and Ashlyn stopped breathing at that point as well.

“Harris!” Coach Jill yelled, catching the keeper’s attention with wide eyes. “Get ready.”

Whitney was by Ashlyn instantly, pulling her aside for a quick warmup. “Hey,” her best friend said when she kicked another ball at Ashlyn who caught it easily. “Relax. You’re tense as a rubber band right now.”

“I’m nervous as shit, Whitney.”

“Well, you should be but it’s just a soccer game. Play how you play and you’ll be fine.”

“Great. Play how you play. Perfect advice. That’s like telling someone who doesn’t know how to drive a motorcycle that it’s like riding a bike. Really helpful, Whitney.”

Whitney kicked one ball extra hard, hitting Ashlyn in the stomach lightly who sort of doubled over a bit. Then she walked up, and slapped Ashlyn in the back of the head.

“Hey! What the–”

“Ashlyn, someone like you does not act like this. It’s a big game, and you should be pumped, not nervous. What the hell has gotten into you?”

Ashlyn sighed. “I don’t know. I just… I just feel off this trip. I’m worried that today isn’t the day that I should play.”

“You. Will. Be. Fine. Now get out there and kick some ass. Okay? Show them what you’ve got.” She paused and started to walk off before turning back around. “Unless you think Alyssa should play over you. She’d be more prepared at this point.” And then she turned and continued walking.

Ashlyn thought about what Whitney said as she walked back to the bench, earning encouragement from the team as she took a sip of water and wet her gloves. Her mind started racing. It’s the same sun she’s played under before. Same grass. With the same cleats and shin guards. What is there to be nervous about? It’s the same game she’s played for years.

“Harris,” Jill called. “You’re on.”

The team was gathered in a huddle around where Hope collapsed as Ben took his time getting her off the field. She gave Ashlyn a small smile, who gave her a thumbs up and a silent promise to do everything she could to keep this game on their side.

Captain was talking when she made it towards the huddle, squeezing in by Alex and Heather.

“ – and the thing you need to worry about it simply keeping the ball out of our net and into theirs. Don’t worry about Hope. Ben will take good care of her. It’ll be fine. She’ll be fine. Kriegs.” Ashlyn looked at Ali for the first time, noticing that she looked a little upset. “That was not your fault. It was a corner kick and Hope was pushed into you. There was nothing you can do about that and you need to just play and let it go for the time being. Got it?”

Ali nodded once. “Yeah. Got it.”

Ashlyn met her eyes over the group and gave her a reassuring smile. Ali returned it, thank god, and gave her a small nod.

Abby stepped up now. “And Ashlyn, heads up with number 23. She’s kind of a bitch.”

Ashlyn chuckled at that. “Yeah, thanks Abs.”

“Alright,” she called to the team, putting her hand in. “Let’s get this going. Remain calm. Play smart. Kick ass. And punch a bitch if you have to. Just don’t get carded.” This caused a few laughs before the team put their hands in and the game was running again.

It was so much more intense on the field than it was on the bench, and that intensity was bad enough. The crowd wasn’t huge, but Ashlyn just wanted to win for her girls. One second, her team would be crashing the goal and the next she was thrown to the ground to save another ball from going on.

But all hell broke loose when there was a shot, and it happened to nail Captain in the hand in the box, completely and totally obviously by accident, and the ref blew the whistle.

Naturally, Ashlyn protested and stormed towards the guy in yellow, screaming about intentionality and this and that, but the guy waved her off and told her to get back in the net. It was a PK. Just Ashlyn and number 23, who was smirking at her.

Ali went up to Ashlyn, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “I’ve seen her tapes. She goes left on ninety percent of her PK shots.”

Ashlyn nodded. “Thanks.”

The set up was the worst, because everyone seemed to take their time to make the tension long and painful for Ashlyn. She was jumping, trying to stay warm and loose as the dumbass ref messed with his notebook and the teams pushed and shoved along the eighteen yard box.

Ashlyn thought. And thought. And thought a lot. She didn’t want her first real game to happen like this. She hadn’t played all season, really, no more than ten minutes at the end of a game they were winning, and now she was stuck in a PK spot over their hardest game. This was great timing.

She took a deep breath once the kicker was set and the ref blew the whistle. She watched her every move, and when she saw the girl kick to the right, completely opposite of what Ali told her actually, she dove.

But it was a perfect shot. And it was a drilled shot, nonetheless. She managed to get her hands on it, but it did little with the force behind it as it sailed to the upper ninety spot, hitting the side netting with power.

The frustration was incredible as Ashlyn slowly got up, knowing that she let the team down. She let Hope down. She let Ali down. She let Whitney down and Kling and Morgan. She let everyone down.

“Ash.”

Ali was next to her, bending down to get the ball. She gave her a look but Ashlyn shook her off.

“Don’t,” the blonde demanded, grabbing the ball and punting it back to midfield to start over.

“Ash, you couldn’t have–”

She shook her off. “Ali, just get back in position. We need to win this game back.”

--------------

They couldn’t though. Alex, Abby, Tobin, everyone struggled to get shots off and those that were on frame were blocked every time by the opposing keeper. Ashlyn’s frustration grew and grew as the time dwindled down to five minutes to four, three, two, one, and then the three whistles blew. Their first loss of the season.

She stormed off the field instantly, ignoring the opposing team, especially the number 23 who was walking right towards her for a handshake of superiority. Ashlyn ignored her, and Whitney, Ali, Hope, and everyone. She stuffed her belongs in her bag, heading straight for the bus. No one bothered to stop her and Jill announced that they would talk on the bus after the team showered and got cleaned up.

But Ashlyn only made it halfway there before suddenly she was yanked back.

“What the hell?” she glared, her eyes softening a little at Ali’s concerned face. “Ali, now isn’t the time.”

“You can’t just run off like that. The PK wasn’t your fault. That shot was basically impossible to stop. I don’t want to see you beat yourself up.”

“Yeah, well we lost because I’m pretty sure Hope could’ve saved that shot,” Ashlyn yelled, yanking her arm out of Ali’s. She was walking by the softball building and moved to continued when Ali suddenly shoved her up against the wall, holding her there. “Let me go, Ali.”

“No.”

“Ali–”

“Would you stop being so full of self-hatred?” Ali screamed, her eyes glistening with as much anger and frustration at Ashlyn as the blonde felt at the situation.

Ashlyn sighed, pressing the back of her head against the wall behind her. She tried to focus more on Ali, on her hands on her shoulders and the feeling of her close, but she just kept replaying that goal in her head over and over again.

It took a few seconds, but Ali relaxed and then pressed herself against Ashlyn who instantly wrapped her arms around the brunette, holding her close. “Ashlyn, it’s just a game. We’re still in the tournament. We’re still in this.”

She sighed. “I know. But that was my chance. And I blew it. It’s our first loss of the season. What kind of backup keeper am I if I can’t win the game?”

“It’s not your fault.” Ali pulled back, wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck. “You didn’t blow it. You made amazing saves tonight and Coach knows how good you are. She’s not an idiot.”

“Our season did a complete one eighty, Ali. I just keep thinking that there could’ve been something I’ve done.”

“There isn’t. Tobin lost that tackle, they passed around Carly, and they ended up getting a shot off that Captain just happened to be in the wrong place in the wrong time.”

“But –”

“Stop it. Our attacking players didn’t score as much as they should and it’s just as much their fault as it is mine, yours, and Coach’s.” She leaned up and pressed a small kiss to Ashlyn’s cheek, causing a small smile on the other girl’s lips.

“Ashlyn?”

She tensed, instantly. That was a voice she didn’t hear often, and sometimes it made her nervous recently, but it was a voice that she probably really needed right now. When she was younger, this voice could help talk her through anything and make her feel better. Even though they’ve had some problems lately, he was still the one that helped like no one could.

Ashlyn looked to her left, finding him. Yup. Her dad. He was standing there, a nervous smile on her face with his hands in his jacket pockets. He looked as put together as ever, and yet nervous and flustered at the same time.

She swallowed. “Dad.”

He nodded, his eyes moving to Ali and looking a little confused, slightly conflicted, but he gave her his best smile. “Um, you must be Ali?”

Ali moved to step away but Ashlyn wrapped her arms around Ali’s middle, pulling her back into her side as the two stood straighter. Ali took the hint and leaned back into Ashlyn comfortably. “Um, yes, sir. I am.”

He took a small step forward, looking unsure of himself. He might have been dressed in a suit at the moment, but he was anything but confident. “I know this is a surprise, Ashlyn. I didn’t know if you wanted me to call before or not.”

Ashlyn finally got out of her head and gave him a small smile, despite how shitty she was feeling. “No, it’s fine. Um, it’s good. But what are you doing here though? You live like four hours from here.”

“I heard about your game,” he said simply. “And I wanted to see you play. I’ve been watching a few games on the live streams on the computer or if they’re on the TV, but I just wanted to see you in person again.”

“What about… what about Mom?” Ashlyn asked hesitantly, looking around with a nervous tension. “Does she know you’re here?”

Her dad gave her a reassuring look. “She’s at home. I told her I have a business meeting this weekend and needed to be here Friday and Saturday. She doesn’t know.”

Ashlyn nodded, not sure if the fact that her dad lied to her mom was a good or bad idea but it was what it was. With the way she was feeling and the day she was having, it was definitely for the best that she didn’t break down into tears while her bitchy mother was around.

Ali nudged her. She looked down to see the brunette basically saying ‘go hug him, or something’ so Ashlyn let go of Ali and moved towards her dad.

He opened his arms for her and the blonde found herself crashing into the arms of her father, feeling more secure than she had in a long time. Nothing is like a hug from your father, and Ashlyn found herself letting out tears as she buried her face in her father’s neck, taking deep breaths to calm down.

“Honey?” he asked worriedly, rubbing her back slowly. “Ashlyn, are you okay?”

“I just missed you,” she cried back. “I didn’t really know how much but I did, I do, and I’m so happy you’re here, Dad. I really am.”

He nodded, closing his eyes. “I’m happy to see you too.”

Ali wasn’t sure what to do, so while the two were embracing, she was going to just slip away quietly. But when she started to back up, she heard Ashlyn’s dad call her name.

She turned back. “Yes sir?”

“Come here,” he motioned her forward, Ashlyn’s eyeing him like he was up to something with a small smile as she wiped her eyes completely. Ali came forward, her hand going straight to Ashlyn’s as she finally really met Ashlyn’s father, shaking his head. “It’s nice to officially meet the girl who Ashlyn is so crazy about.”

Ali blushed. “Thank you. Ashlyn told me a lot about you too.”

He nodded once. “Look, I don’t want you to be weary or nervous around me, because I’m sure that Ashlyn has told you everything that happened a few months back over the summer with Chloe. I’ve talked to my daughter,” He gave Ashlyn a small smile, “And although my wife doesn’t like it, I just want her to be happy. And you make her happy. So thank you.”

Ali blushed but Ashlyn just beamed with pride. “Well, she’s not the only happy one in this relationship

Ashlyn squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Ashlyn’s dad watched with a small smile. “Is there a chance the two of you can squeeze in a bit of dinner before the bus?”

“I’m not sure where we’re going,” Ashlyn said. “But I’m sure Jill won’t mind if you tag along and take us somewhere before we get our stuff from the hotel. It’s not every day my dad just shows up to game.”

Chapter Text

Ashlyn, Ali, and her father, Mike, got permission from Jill to go to dinner and be dropped off at the hotel. The team was leaving at nine and driving through the night, allowing some of the girls some time with their families before they get back to school the following morning.

Ashlyn smiled as Ali laughed out loud as something her dad said, so focused on the interaction and not even what they were really talking about. It was amazing that her dad and Ali worked so well together, and it made her feel much better about the fact that Ali could fit right in. Her dad, although his part is much smaller recently, is still important in her life, and it helped that Ali and her dad got along so well.

“Ashlyn, honey, I like her,” Mike said, giving his daughter a smile. “You really picked a winner here.”

Ali blushed and looked down to the empty plate where a steak used to lie. “Thank you, sir.”

“So what happened to that goalkeeper?” Mike asked. “Is she going to be okay?”

Ashlyn shrugged. “She hit her head pretty bad and has a rough headache right now. Carli is staying with her and keeping the team posted on how she’s doing.”

“How long will she be out?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere between a few days to a few months. It depends on how bad her concussion was, but Ben looked pretty worried about her. I think she’ll be okay though. He worries more than he should. She didn’t pass out and the pain wasn’t too bad from what she said.”

Ali nodded along with that. “Our trainer has a protectiveness over us. I’m sure that he’s just taking a precaution because he doesn’t want anything bad to happen if we put Hope in too early.”

“Yeah, but we need her,” Ashlyn said as her voice dropped, playing with the straw in her water drink. “Especially for the tournament.”

Ali caught on, but her dad didn’t. “You seemed like you played extremely well, though. That was quite the show you put on.”

“Yeah. But we lost.”

Ali gave her a small look and put her hand on the blonde’s knee under the table. “Ashlyn–”

“Have you talked to Grandma or Chris?” Ashlyn blurted out, not wanting to hear Ali’s comments again. She might have loved Ali but the encouragement right now wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to just ignore the elephant in the room instead. Ali removed her hand, getting the picture.

Her dad nodded once. “I called Chris a few weeks ago, but Grandma was busy somewhere or something. Things have gotten better between us, though. He’s still surprised every time I call.”

“Yeah, but it’ll get better. Chris mentioned it went pretty well, but he didn’t have time to talk too much.”

Mike nodded but then he sighed. “Your mother still won’t talk to him, though. Ever since… you know.”

Ashlyn did. “Ever since he took my side?”

“Basically,” Mike said with a defeated tone. “I just can’t seem to get her to understand that you’re her kids, and yet she just can’t get over herself in order to be in your lives. But I promise, I’ll always be here for you, okay?”

That caused her to relax and smile a little bit. “Thanks, Dad. I hated when we were having problems over the summer.”

“I’m sorry I was that stubborn and ignorant about it.” He reached across the table and grabbed Ashlyn’s hand, giving it a small squeeze. “But I never want us to go back to that. I love you, remember that.”

“I love you too, Dad,” she smiled, but her smile dropped when she noticed her father’s phone start to ring on the table, and a picture of her mother popped up.

He sighed, looking at the phone, to the two girls, and back to it before grabbing it and shoving it in his pocket.

Ashlyn raised an eyebrow. “You’re not going to answer it?”

He shrugged. “I’ll claim I was in a business meeting.”

OOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn was out of her funk and back to her old self after dinner with her dad, and the team was meeting up outside the hotel, considering they’ve already checked out earlier that day, in order to leave for the night trip back to school.

With her feet bouncing her around, Ashlyn was buzzing from one person to another, everyone happy to see that she was back. Whitney, especially, gave her best friend a bigger and longer hug than necessary, but the taller blonde didn’t mind as she gripped her back just as strongly.

“Everything go okay?” Whitney asked her, pulling away.

Ashlyn nodded and beamed. “Great. He loved Ali and–”

She trailed off when she realized that Ali wasn’t around. She did a complete 360, but no sign of her outside where the team was gather with their bags all over the place. “Um, where is she?”

Whitney glanced too. “I don’t know. She was out here earlier.”

Heather popped up, probably eavesdropping on the conversation. “She went around back to the pool. You might want to go check on her.”

Ashlyn tensed. “Is she okay?”

“I don’t know. She wasn’t talking much after you guys got back from dinner with your dad.”

Without another word, Ashlyn dropped bags on the sidewalk and headed around the hotel to the opening where the pool was. They didn’t have keys anymore, so when she noticed that Ali was sitting with her feet in the pool – probably due to the fact that guy at the reception thought she was hot – Ashlyn hopped the fence really quick, getting a few looks from the small amount of people around the warmed water, and took off her shoes before sliding next to her on the concrete.

They didn’t talk, didn’t touch, didn’t really acknowledge each other for a while. Ashlyn gave Ali her space until she finally couldn’t take it and reached over, placing her hand on Ali’s on the concrete.

Ali sighed as soon as the touch happened. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For what I’m thinking right now.” She took a deep breath before speaking quickly again. “I just want you to know that you can talk to me about stuff, whatever, okay? Even if we argue we can always talk it out.”

Ashlyn nodded, giving Ali a strange look. “Okay. I got that.”

“I mean, like, really disagree, we can still talk things out, right? Whether that’s about school, or Madison, or money, or anything in the future, we can work it out.”

“What is this about?”

Ali finally looked up and met Ashlyn’s eyes. “Just… can we do that? No matter how much we fight, no matter how serious the situation is. I get that we both are hot headed and need to cool off sometimes, but can we not let anything get out of hand. We haven’t yet, really, but just… Please?”

Ashlyn almost said yes, almost, but she knows that sometimes people will disagree. She knows that sometimes, there are fights and there is no resolution. So although she wanted to reassure Ali that they would be the perfect couple, she knew she couldn’t lie like that, not to Ali and not to anyone.

So instead, she just grabbed Ali’s hand that she was holding and pulled it towards her lap, playing with her fingers. “Ali, baby, what is this about?”

The brunette took a deep breath, looking out over the pool. “Meeting your dad just got me thinking about stuff.”

“What stuff?” She paused. “You’re not questioning this or anything, right?”

“God no!” Ali practically yelled, catching the attention of a few swimmers. She blushed and looked away from them, meeting Ashlyn’s gaze. “No,” she said quieter. “It’s just… your parents have been married for years, right?”

“Yeah. Over two decades.”

“And yet, they’re at this point that they fight all the time because of you and they can’t find a way to compromise.”

Ashlyn got defensive at that. “So you’re saying that it’s my fault?” she scoffed and dropped Ali’s hand. “Really, Ali? You know as well as I do that I couldn’t stop being gay any more than you could, and now here you are blaming my parent’s problems on me?”

“No! That’s not what I was getting at.”

“Then you better explain because what the actual hell are you trying to say?”

“I just don’t want us to have problems when we… you know.”

Ashlyn, in her annoyance, wasn’t even really understanding. “When we what?”

“When we have kids,” Ali whispered, barely loud enough for Ashlyn to hear it. “Or when we get married… or you know, any of that stuff. If, when, whatever. I’m not saying that – what I mean is – I just… shit. I don’t even know what I’m saying.”

And just like that, all her anger disappeared. “You – you want kids? You’ve thought about that stuff?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Yeah, I guess so. I’ve always thought about it. How many I want and what I want them to do. And I’m worried that even after years, even after they go to college, there can still be problems. And I don’t want the life like your parents have. I don’t want to have to hide and lie to each other in order to see our kids or do what we want. I want us to be honest, no matter how upset the other might get. I just want us to–”

Ashlyn yanked Ali to her when she saw a small tear start to escape, and she wrapped the girl up in her arms, holding her securely. “You never have to worry about that. Whatever happens, happens, but if we get to that point, I wouldn't turn my back on you. However long you want me around, I'll be here.”

“That didn’t freak you out?” Ali asked in her hysterics. “About the kids and everything? We’ve never talked about it and this is still new to the both of us and–”

“I want it too, Ali. I do.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely.” Ashlyn smiled to herself at the other girls insecurities. They were cute in a weird way, something Ashlyn would love to spend her time reassuring in the best ways possible. “I will try to talk to you if I have a problem and we will always work it out and go to bed together when we get to that point and I promise you that if you’ll let me, I’ll never let you go.”

Ali sighed in relief, burying her head in Ashlyn’s shoulder. “I love you, Ash.”

She smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, princess.”

OOOOOOO

They sat together on the bus, as usual. And they fell asleep, as usual. And someone on the team would take a picture and post it in the groupMe, as usual. And they would wake up to all sorts of notifications and teasing, as usual.

But Ashlyn knew that she’d never want it any other way.

Ashlyn had her pillow in Ali’s lap where she slept as Ali was passed out against the window. Or so she thought. She was pulled out of her dream by a hand running through her hair. A smile broke out over her face as she felt it. With that on top of the music she was listening to, she was lulled back to sleep almost instantly.

And it was about two hours later, around eight A.M., that her phone woke her up.

Somehow, they ended up moving and Ali was asleep on her shoulder now, so she was able to move to get her phone, quietly pulling out her headphones and answering with a soft, “Hello?”

“Hey, little sister,” Chris said tiredly. “You’ll never believe who just called me and woke me up.”

“Dad?”

There was silence for a moment. “I don’t like how college is making you smarter.”

She chuckled, causing Ali to stir next to her but she just fell back asleep. “So, what did he say?”

“He mentioned that he went to your game, and he talked about Thanksgiving.”

“Thanksgiving?’

“He wants to have it here,” Chris said with a yawn. “And apparently, he couldn’t wait until I woke up for work and the wife wasn’t exactly happy about that wake up call.”

Ashlyn chuckled at that, causing Ali to groan again. “Look, Chris, sorry Dad has terrible timing, but trust me when I say I know all about it.”

“Yeah, I heard that was a surprise.”

“Basically.”

“And that you basically had Ali against the wall when he found you.”

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t like that and Ali shoved me against it, thank you.”

“Kinky.”

“Screw you, Chris.”

She heard a snicker and looked up to see Alex and Tobin, awake and watching something on the computer. She knew they heard her but didn’t care at that point.

“Whatever, baby sis. Just know Dad wanted to come to Thanksgiving and even though I’m still kind of… not okay with him, Grandma wants him here. I mean, I never had the problem with him really but I’m sure it’ll be awkward to start with so I wanted to give you a heads up that it’s a go.”

Ashlyn nodded. “Um, what about Mom?”

“She’s not welcome here at all,” he said adamantly and harshly. “Not after the way she treated you and what she called you. It’s unforgivable. Dad, I’m still kind of iffy about, but it’s different with him. He never said anything, instead he kept his mouth shut and let Mom rip you apart and both of us always liked Dad more anyway, especially you. So I know you still really care for Dad, and because of that he’s completely welcome to come to Grandma’s. But Mom… she will never be allowed within ten miles from you.”

She smiled at her brother’s protectiveness. “Thanks, Chris.”

“I just wanted you to know what the plan was and that you were okay with it.”

“Yeah. I'm good.”

“You’re sure?”

“Dad is still Dad, always has been,” Ashlyn emphasized. “Trust me.”

“Alright. Grandma will probably set everything up. We’ll see you soon then?”

Ashlyn nodded, said goodbye, and hung up, putting the phone back in her pocket. Ali shifted and her hands that were wrapped around Ashlyn’s arm tightened, nuzzling herself closer to the blonde.

Ashlyn smiled down at her when Ali spoke up, rather tiredly.

“Who was that?” she barely whispered.

“Chris.”

She nodded, sighing rather loudly and cuddling closer to Ashlyn. “And what did he…” she yawned quietly, “what did he want?”

“It’s just about Thanksgiving. Go back to sleep and we'll talk later.”

Although it looked like she didn’t want to, Ali passed back out almost instantly. It was so fast, Ashlyn didn’t even think she’d really remember the conversation they just had anyway and she smiled to herself as she closed her eyes, resting her head on the seat rest.

“Hey.”

She opened one eye to see Abby between the seats in front of her, Christie asleep beside her.

Ashlyn raised an eyebrow. “Hey?”

“You are okay, right? This weekend wasn’t easy for you.”

“I’m good,” Ashlyn nodded, subconsciously running her hands over Ali’s leg softly under the blanket. “Much better.”

Abby nodded. “You know, for the record, I’m really happy for you two,” she said, looking at Ali momentarily. “I’ve never seen her so content. And you look happy. And that game wasn’t your fault and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for it. Alex and I couldn’t score and you couldn’t stop that shot. Sometimes, it’s just not your day, okay?”

Ashlyn nodded. “Thanks, Abs.”

“Anytime, kid.” Abby said with a smile. “Just don’t do anything stupid with that one.” She looked at Ali.

“Do you even know me?” she said with a wink, causing Abby to roll her eyes and turn back anyway with a small smirk on her lips.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn smiled against Ali’s mouth as the brunette moaned under her. That kind of noise was something she could hear over and over again.

It was late after their first tournament game, that they won, that Hope made it back in time from her concussion and played, Ali got an assist in, and they were celebrating moving on to the next round. Heather was gone with her boyfriend. The others were out celebrating still at a party off campus, and Ashlyn was a little intoxicated – maybe a lot intoxicated - and happy and touchy feely at the moment while Ali was enjoying every moment of it.

Ali rolled them until Ashlyn lied under her. Her dress was bunched up, allowing Ashlyn’s hands to roam over her legs without any resistance, and also causing Ashlyn to get a little hot and bothered faster than she cared to admit.

The brunette’s hair that was perfectly curled was swooped to the side as she looked down at Ashlyn. The blonde’s dress shirt was unbuttoned, and the bowtie that she had on earlier (knowing it would drive Ali crazy) was somewhere discarded on the floor. And even though everything about this situation was driving her up the wall, she was trying to keep it under control.

But Ali wasn’t having that at all.

She slid Ashlyn’s shirt to the sides, her hands roaming over her abs and along her sports bra, kissing her neck and sucking at the spot between her neck and collar bone. Ashlyn had to close her eyes to keep herself from voicing how good it felt, but a little still slipped through when Ali bit down lightly, running her hand up higher to her chest.

“Is that okay?” Ali asked, squeezing as Ashlyn gasped, tilting her head back in ecstasy. Ali watched with a small smile before doing it again. “Ashlyn?”

“God yes,” Ashlyn answered, the alcohol making her more vocal and loud. “So freaking good, Ali.”

“Are you sure?”

Ashlyn might have been drunk, but she knew what Ali was doing. Of the two of them, Ashlyn was the weary one when they were together, but this time she couldn’t think. She could just do.

So she flipped Ali back on the bed and slid over her, hitching her dress up even more past her hips and revealing a red, lace thong that caused Ali’s face to go the same color. But Ashlyn was so drunk on Ali and the alcohol that she just went in for the kiss as her hands roamed downward, tracing Ali’s underwear with a need that Ashlyn couldn’t really control.

Ali chuckled against her lips, gasping when Ashlyn’s fingers danced under her thong just to be pulled back out again. She groaned and kissed Ashlyn harder. “You’re just teasing me.”

“Shh,” Ashlyn hushed, kissing Ali softly when she pulled back. “Hold still.”

“You want me to–”

“Yes.” Ashlyn demanded. “Now hold still.” Turns out, drunk Ashlyn is kind of demanding, and it turns out that Ali found it a huge turn on. Ashlyn grabbed her hands and moved Ali’s above her head, giving her a small kiss when she did. “Don’t move, baby.”

Ali nodded as Ashlyn kissed her way down her body. She started at her hands, moving down her arms towards her shoulders were she moved the straps of her black dress to get a better access to Ali’s skin. She kissed down her chest and slowly brought her dress up higher and higher, watching as Ali’s breath got more labored and eventually, she slid the dress over Ali’s head and dropped it to the floor, smiling down at her as she reached for Ali’s hands and entertained them.

Ali’s completely exposed chest, due to the lack of bra used with the dress, had Ashlyn completely captivated. Ali tried to move her hands to cover herself and Ashlyn kept her frozen there, finally lifting her glossed over eyes to Ali’s before leaning down and kissing her with such a passion that the dizziness Ashlyn already felt seemed like the world was spinning.

Ali’s hands eventually broke away, moving to Ashlyn’s shirt and pulling it off, discarding it on the floor with everything else. And before Ashlyn could recollect it, she grabbed the keeper’s bra and pulled, releasing her as well and yanking her down until their bodies were intertwined and their chests pressed together for the first time in their relationship, the first real time.

Ashlyn sighed into Ali’s mouth at the feeling. They were pulling each other as close as they could, even though it seemed impossible to ever get close enough.

“Ashlyn?”

She didn’t even noticed her girlfriend speak in her intoxicated state, just moving from her lips to her cheek to her neck, and moving lower until she was at Ali’s chest. But just as she went in for the kill, Ali grabbed her hair and her chin, pulling her back up.

“Ashlyn, babe, wait.”

She froze, looking confused. “What is it?”

Ali sighed, and Ashlyn thought that maybe she didn’t something wrong. Ali wanted this. She’d wanted this just as much as Ashlyn but was always a little louder and more vocal about it. And yet, she looked terrified.

And the scared look in her eyes sobered Ashlyn up instantly, who jumped back and rolled off of her. “Shit, Ali, I’m so sorry.” She reached for her shirt and yanked it on, getting a few buttons back together. “I mean, I can’t believe I just tried to–”

“Hey, hey, hey, hey,” Ali covered herself with the blanket beside her and reached out. “Ashlyn, it’s okay.”

“No it’s not!” She jumped back as Ali touched her and started pacing. “It’s not okay. I shouldn’t have done that. You weren’t ready and–”

Ali jumped up, grabbing Ashlyn’s arm. “Hey, stop that. This isn’t your fault. You’re right that I wasn’t ready even though I thought I was but you need to understand that what just happened here wasn’t you.”

Maybe it was the drunken haze, but Ashlyn nodded at what Ali said and allowed the other girl to pull her into a hug. But as soon as they did, Ashlyn tensed. “Ali?”

“Hmm?”

“You probably need to put on a t-shirt or something,” Ashlyn said shyly, taking Ali in and holding her tighter. “Cause I really don’t have self-control right now.”

Ali chuckled, and nodded but when she went to pull away, Ashlyn didn’t let her go. “Ashlyn, you have to let me go.”

“Give me a second.”

With a jab to Ashlyn’s side, Ali was able to break free and chuckled when Ashlyn gave her a look of astonishment at the harmless, joking, ticklish jab. “Hey now.”

“Hi there,” Ali shot back with a smile, grabbing a t-shirt from her drawer and covering her chest. She reached out for Ashlyn as soon as she did. “Will you stay with me?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ali blushed, pulling her towards the bed where they were just having more fun than either could handle. Ashlyn slid in beside Ali, pulling the covers over the both of them and smiling when Ali wrapped her body around the blonde. She yawned almost instantly, causing Ashlyn to laugh and pull her closer.

And before either knew it, they were passed out.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn woke to the warmth of Ali’s body pressed against hers, the blonde’s front to the brunette’s back and her arms secured with Ali’s hold on her hands. For a moment, she just wanted to lie there in contentment, but it wasn’t more than five minutes later that Ali started to stir awake.

With a mental check of no headache, no stomach ache, and no broken bones or problems, Ashlyn pressed a kiss to Ali’s neck, smiling as goosebumps arose.

“I could get used to this,” Ali said with a smile.

Ashlyn chuckled and squeezed her. “Good morning to you too.”

“How’s your head?”

“Could be worse. It doesn’t seem to be too bad but I haven’t stood up yet so, you know, trying to be optimistic at the moment. I drank enough to have a migraine.”

Ali laughed, intertwining their fingers. “Yeah. You did tend to drink a bit last night.”

“We won. I was celebrating. Not my fault. Besides, I had my guardian angel to watch me,” Ashlyn said, putting another kiss behind Ali’s ear. “And I really am sorry about last night.”

“Don’t be. It was fun. I know I might have seemed like I panicked but I really want that, you know, eventually. When I’m ready.”

Ashlyn nodded. “Well, when you’re ready, I’m ready. Okay?”

Ali turned, giving Ashlyn a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“Can I get a real kiss this time?” Ashlyn asked, leaning in.

“Nope,” Ali dodged her, hiding her face in Ashlyn’s arm. “I have morning breath.”

“You’re point?”

“That’s gross.”

“But you’re cute.”

“Stop it,” Ali whined with a smile, laughing loudly when Ashlyn tickled her side. “Ashlyn! Stop!”

“Quiet down,” Ashlyn warned.

“Heather is – stop! – she’s at her boyfriend’s hotel,” Ali laughed, trying to swat Ashlyn away and talk at the same time. But Ashlyn kept tickling her and Ali practically screamed. “Ashlyn Michelle Harris! Stop it!”

Ashlyn shushed her. “You’ll wake your roommates.”

“Too late!” Pinoe called as she ran into the room, jumping on the bed and crushing the two players under her. “Good morning, love birds!”

Ashlyn chuckled at Pinoe. It was nice to be around someone who didn’t care about PDA and had no fear of jumping in bed with a couple because she had no shame whatsoever. It made the environment more carefree and relaxed.

Pinoe kissed them both on the cheek, smirking when she saw a mark on Ashlyn’s neck. “Have fun last night?” Then she paused. “Please tell me you’re not naked from the waist down.”

“Well,” Ashlyn teased.

But Ali cut her off. “No, we’re not. Relax.”

“Good. Cause I have to tell you something!” she practically yelled, standing to her feet and jumping around Ali’s room. “I’ve got big news! Huge news!”

Ashlyn watched her with a smile, wrapping her arms around Ali tighter as she answered Pinoe. “Did you get laid?”

“No, but,” Pinoe chimed. “But… I did meet someone.”

Ali perked up. “Who?”

“Her name is Sera. And oh. My. God. She plays guitar and has that nerdy but band like feel about her and her eyes are just gorgeous and I think I’m in love.” To finish her dramatics, Pinoe collapsed on the floor, a blissful smile on her face. “I’m going to marry her one day.”

“I’m sure you will,” Ashlyn laughed.

Pinoe gave her a look. “Mark my words, Harris.”

“Okay,” Ashlyn said. “Okay. I believe you.”

OOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn texted Whitney on her way back to her room later that Sunday morning for a shower, but she didn’t want to walk in on Whitney again. Although Ashlyn found it amusing, Whitney wasn’t quite as comfortable with it and asked Ashlyn to text her whenever she’s coming back to the room.

“Knock, knock, “Ashlyn called out as she stepped into her dorm room, smiling as Kenny and Whitney lied on her bed, watching TV.

They both waved at her, Whitney giving her a smirk. “Have a good night?”

“Maybe.”

“That’s quite the hickey,” Kenny pointed out, touching his neck where Ashlyn’s was when she took off her hoodie. “I mean, I knew Ali was persistent but it looks like she never left that spot at all.”

Ashlyn just laughed, looking in the mirror. Luckily, it was low enough that she could cover it with a jacket that had a collar, but even her hoodie hid it kind of well. And even better, it was cold so the more layers, the easier it was to hide this kind of stuff.

She shrugged, rubbing her fingers over the sensitive spot. “I might have been the one that was drunk, but Ali was the one who was feisty.”

Kenny stood from the bed, pecking Whitney on the lips. “Well, I should probably go so you two can talk about your girl stuff.”

“Girl stuff?” Whitney teased.

He shrugged. “Or whatever. I have a pick-up baseball game anyway, so I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah,” Whitney said, giving him a smile as he headed for the door. “I’ll be there.”

“Cool,” he beamed and then he gave Ashlyn a small smile, poking her neck. “See you later, Romeo.”

With a playful shove, he left, his laugh echoing through the halls as Ashlyn shook her head at him, taking the spot by Whitney on the bed. “You know, Kenny is a jokester that can drive me up the wall but he’s pretty cool. I’m glad you two get along so well.”

Whitney nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about,” she reached up, touching Ashlyn’s hickey where Kenny teased her about it, “That.” And then she laughed out loud, really loud. “Holy crap. Like holy freaking crap.”

“Yeah.” Ashlyn ran her fingers over it again. She didn’t remember Ali even giving it to her, but there it was. “It’s a bit… dark.”

“And huge.” Whitney laughed, shaking her head. “You and Ali have a good night then?”

“Nothing else happened.” She didn’t want Whitney’s mind to get carried away. “I swear. Just made out a little and then we went to sleep.”

Whitney gave her a look but shrugged. “Well, everything is okay, right?”

“Yeah. She just… panicked a little.”

In understanding, Whitney nodded. “It’ll just take some time.”

Ashlyn sighed, leaning against the wall with her hands in her pockets. “Yeah. I’m giving her all the time she needs but pretty soon I’m going to get restless.”

“Don’t push her,” Whitney warned.

“Never,” Ashlyn said instantly. “I just… God, this would be easier if it was anyone but Ali Krieger. But she just has to look so perfect that I lose my mind.”

“Well, that was her goal last night, so, you know...”

Ashlyn gave her a look. “What?”

The other girl shrugged. “She wanted to get to the next level and about six of us spent over an hour just trying to pick out Ali’s outfit. She wanted something to happen, at least, before she freaked out apparently.”

“Too bad,” Ashlyn sighed. “It was fun.”

“I’m sure,” Whitney teased. “But now, back to the real world. Party is over and you have a test tomorrow that you’ve got to study for.”

Chapter Text

With Ali having a German paper due, practice over, and dinner already finished, the two headed to the library to buckle down. Ashlyn had her Chemistry test, Biology test, and Literature paper coming up and Whitney was right that she had to get a head start.

But about an hour into it, Ashlyn was ready to bang her head on the table. Not only because she was tired of studying but because she couldn’t focus enough to get it done.

“You okay?” Ali asked as she glanced up. Ashlyn had sighed and groaned, again, which made number ten in about thirty minutes.

The blonde ran a hand through her wavy hair in aggravation. “I’m going to go find the nearest tower and lock myself in.”

“Ashlyn.”

“Or just quitting everything in general. I mean, this is ridiculous.”

“Ash.”

“Or just bang my head against the wall repeatedly, over and over and over and over again.”

“Hey.” Ali reached over and touched her arm, causing their eyes to meet. Ali’s had an amused smile on her face. “Relax, baby. You’ve got all A’s in your biology required classes, so why are you freaking out?”

That wasn’t the whole problem, but Ashlyn let it go. “Because I want to keep them up before finals in a few weeks.”

“And you will.” Ali squeezed her arm where her long sleeve covered, giving her a soft smile. “But I need to focus and you’re kind of stressing me out.”

“Sorry,” Ashlyn blushed.

She really did try her best to study, but it wasn’t just finals or soccer or her grades that were distracting her. Her phone kept going off, and she had to hide it so Ali didn’t see. Why?

Because it was Madison.

Hey. Are you in the library? I need help. - Madison

Ashlyn, please? I know you said get someone else to help me but you’re the smartest one in our class. And you can explain it in a simpler way. - Madison

Look, if it helps, I’ll study with you and Ali. I know you’re with her and that’s why you’re not answering. I’m not an idiot. I promise I’ll behave ;) – Madison

After the last one, she finally ended up shoving her phone in her jacket pocket, ignoring the buzz and doing her best to just stare at the computer. No work was completed for ten minutes and when Madison walked into the library, Ashlyn knew that there was no hope.

She made a B-Line for Ashlyn and Ali, and the blonde saw it coming but didn’t have time to warn Ali before Madison sidled up next to Ashlyn, her elbow on Ashlyn’s shoulder playfully. She flipped her red hair over her shoulder, giving Ali a fake smile before looking at Ashlyn.

“Hey, you.”

Ali’s head lifted slowly and she gave Ashlyn a ‘what the fuck’ look, although she tried to stay calm and was obviously failing.

“Um, hey,” Ashlyn said quietly, looking between the two. “Hi. What’s up?”

Madison rolled her eyes. “I know you were ignoring my text because of your girlfriend, but I really just need your help.”

“With the Biology test?”

“Yes. I’m completely lost and the test is tomorrow."

Ali scoffed. “Don’t you think you might want to actually be good at the subject you’re studying? Sounds like Biology isn’t your forte since you haven’t had a single test you can do on your own.”

With wide eyes, it was Ashlyn’s turn to give her a ‘what the fuck’ look.

“Excuse me?” Madison asked, turning defensive. “Look, I’m perfectly good at animal anatomy, not the molecular crap. Something that you can’t possibly start to comprehend.”

Ali’s eyes narrowed. “Really? Well, at least I don’t mooch and beg someone’s girlfriend who you know you’re never going to have to just have the chance to talk to her. I’m not that pathetic, unlike some people.”

Some people had started to turn, looking at the group of three. The two girls were starting to get loud, and Ashlyn didn’t want this to get any worse. “Ali–”

“What the hell is your problem?” Madison demanded.

“Madison–”

Ali jumped out of her seat now, staring Madison down. “My problem is that Ashlyn is my girlfriend, not something you can hit on and try to take. She’s mine. So back the hell off.”

“I’m not trying to steal your girlfriend!”

“Bullshit! You’ve been slutting it up trying to sleep with her ever since–”

“Okay! Enough!” Ashlyn jumped up, getting in between the two before it got worse. They already had the eyes of the librarian on them. “Cut it out, for Christ’s sakes.”

“Get your little puppy to calm down,” Madison said, giving Ali a calmer version of the finger. “She’s the bitch whose hormones are out of whack.”

“Madison, seriously–”

Ali stepped forward, but Ashlyn kept her hand on her chest and pushed her back. “Excuse me?” the brunette shot back, trying to dodge Ashlyn. “You son of–”

“Ali, I was looking for you.”

The three froze at the sound of Abby Wambach, and they looked up to meet her, Hope, and Carli. The three seniors were giving them a look that said to cut it out, and Ali instantly backed off, but her glare was the same as always, if not stronger.

“Hey,” Carly stepped forward, grabbing the girl’s shirt. “We wanted to talk to you about the game.”

She didn’t tear her eyes from Madison’s until Carly grabbed her arm forcefully. Then she seemed to break out of her trance. “Wait, why?”

“Just come with us,” Hope instructed.

Ashlyn watched as the three took her girlfriend away. Hope, before leaving, told her they’ll handle Ali and that she had to control the redhead. She watched until Ali was behind the bookshelves and out of view before collapsing in her seat, Madison standing next to her.

“She’s a piece of work.”

Ashlyn’s anger spiked at that. “Madison, what the hell was that? That’s my girlfriend. You can’t say that shit to her.”

“She started it!”

“I don’t care,” Ashlyn hissed. “Just – sit down and shut up and listen.”

The redhead did, taking Ali’s vacant seat.

“Look,” Ashlyn started. “I want to help you, I do. But Ali cannot stand you. And that makes things complicated.”

“Well, the feeling is mutual.”

“Just let me finish.” Madison huffed and nodded, motioning for her to continue. “Ali is one of the most important people in my life, and her opinion matters to me. The only fight we’ve had was because of the last time I helped you. If you two could just get along, our studying would be easier and my life would just be simpler, got it?”

“Yes, but you really think that the princess is going to go for that?” Madison asked. “I mean, seems like she’s pretty set on hating me. And honestly, I really do just need your help with Biology.”

“And I’ll help you,” Ashlyn reassured her, hating the fact of leaving someone to fend for themselves. “But when we do, we study with other people. We’re never alone. Ali is allowed to watch and keep an eye on us, and I swear that if you try something and she retaliates, I won’t stop her.”

Madison nodded, getting the picture. “I’m serious though. I just need you to go over Chapter 9.”

-------------

Ashlyn called for the third time and got no answer. When the three seniors got Ali to cool down, they walked her back out to the main part of the library, but when Ali saw Madison, she just left. Ashlyn ended up gathering her things and took them to her room, but Heather answered it and said that Ali took off, just grabbing her keys and leaving.

So now, Ashlyn was pacing in her own room, wishing Ali would just answer the phone.

It was dejavu all over again.

“Hey, this is Ali, leave a message.”

Ashlyn sighed, cutting the call. Again.

Whitney, who was finishing up a paper at her desk, turned towards her. “Maybe she just needed some time to cool off?”

“She’s so mad at me.”

“Well, yeah, dipshit. You did it again.”

“She just needs my help! That’s it!” Ashlyn yelled, taking a deep breath when Kling and Morgan walked in as well. “Do you guys think I’m being an idiot?”

They took Ashlyn’s bed casually. Kling shrugged. “I get the helping people thing, I do. But I also see it from Ali’s point of view in a way. Although, personally, I don’t see the problem as long as it’s in public and nothing happens.”

“Seriously?” Morgan asked, giving her best friend wide eyes. “Madison practically tried to seduce Ashlyn before. Almost succeeded.”

“Hey, that was–”

“Before they got together.” Kling finished.

“It still happened,” Whitney pointed out.

Ashlyn chimed it, “But it didn’t and nothing remotely close to romantic has happened since. We’ve talked about it. Madison and I are strictly friends, mainly just study partners, and Ali said that she was okay with it before this whole mess happened. Madison and I meet up before class and Ali never said that it pissed off her. She would just roll her eyes but still.”

“Ashlyn, this is the second time,” Whitney pointed out. “I know you love the girl, but sometimes I wonder if you even think before doing shit, like chilling with Madison when she storms out of the library and you don’t even chase after her. Like, does any thinking happen in your brain?”

“No,” Ashlyn sighed. “That’s my problem.”

Morgan chuckled. “Is that where all the detentions from High School came from?”

“Basically.”

“Look, I think Ali is madder at Madison and how she was instead of you,” Whitney said, giving her friend a sympathetic look. “You guys had talked last time and she knows that even though you say you won’t, you can’t help but go out of your way to help other people. You’re as much a savior as a trouble maker, and Ali loves that about you. Just give her some time and she’ll realize it.”

“So you think I’m kind of in the right?” Ashlyn said, dropping to the floor. She pulled her legs up to her chest, staring at the rug. “I mean, should I apologize?”

Kling chimed in. “Probably, but Ali should too. She was the one that almost started World War Three in the library anyway.”

Ashlyn nodded, feeling slightly better. “Thanks, guys.” And then her phone dinged with a text.

Hey. Look, I’ve got to calm down and you need to study. With your stuff and mine, we don’t have time to talk this out right now. But I’m not… super mad. Just kind of mad. We’ll figure this out before practice on Wednesday when we have time, okay? And Heather said you were looking for me, so I’m back on campus. Don’t freak out. And we’ll talk after the school stuff is over. – Ali

“Well,” Ashlyn sighed, reading the message three different times. “Alright, then.”

---------------------

She had just turned her Literature paper in and walked out of the building when Ashlyn’s phone started ringing. She thought it was Ali and yanked it out of her pocket. But it wasn’t.

“Kyle?”

“Hey,” came a soft, male, tired sounding voice. “Long time.”

She rubbed the back of her head nervously, a few students giving her strange looks. Normally, Ali was with her when he called, and he normally called Ali’s phone. This was new. “Um, yeah. Hey, how are you?”

“Been better. How are you?”

“Alright, I guess.” She took a seat at a bench under one of the trees, trying to hide in the shadows. She didn’t want anyone hearing whatever this conversation was about.

“Um, so you know about the whole situation right now as well as Ali does.”

Ashlyn sighed. “Yeah. We’ve talked since you relapsed, but I have a feeling that this conversation isn’t the typical one, is it?”

“It’s not. Have you dealt with someone… like this before?”

She paused, not sure how to answer but she had to be honest with him. “Yes. Everyone in my immediate family, actually.”

“Really?” he seemed to have perked up at that.

“My brother did drugs and drank a bit when he was in high school, but he got out. My dad did cocaine when I was younger. But in your case, yeah, my mom was an alcoholic, has been my whole life. She still drinks but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be.”

“So, if I came by to talk to you…”

Ashlyn sat straight instantly. “Wait, you’re here? In Virginia?”

“Yeah. And you’re on the bench, actually. I can see you.”

With that, she looked up and saw a black escalade, with the windows rolled down. There was a blonde in the front seat that was driving, and he waved her over. It wasn’t Kyle, so Ashlyn was hesitant, but she sped up when she noticed Kyle leaning forward in the passenger seat.

“Oh my god,” she laughed when she made it to the car. “Kyle, you’re really here. Ali will be ecstatic.”
“Yeah, about that… can we go to lunch or something? I wanted to talk to you before I talk to Ali.”
Ashlyn nodded, and when he gestured for her to get in, she did.

The driver, she learned, was the Tom that Kyle was talking to when he saw them play and when Ashlyn first met him. Tom Anderson. His blonde hair looked like it was styled by Kyle personally, looking spiffy. He had a nice smile, a good tan since he lived out in California, seemed pretty built, and Ashlyn could approve of his fashion sense, somewhat similar to her brother’s in the collar, dress pants, sleeves rolled up kind of look.

Kyle, on the other hand, looked like he was struggling. There were some circles under his eyes, and his skin looked just rough and not taken care of. He hadn’t lost too much weight, but Ashlyn knew what to look for and could tell that the alcohol hadn’t helped his physique.

What really caught Ashlyn’s eyes was the way Tom acted though. He did everything he could to protect Kyle while Ashlyn rode and talked with them. She, unfortunately, had to ask questions and figure out what Kyle had done and where he was at with his recovery and why he started up again, but Tom seemed to take over the answers. Simply things like: 1. He just started drinking, 2. He started to recover two weeks ago and was on the rise, 3. They had gotten into a huge fight and Kyle just went straight for the bottle.

Now though, it seems that Kyle’s roommate and Tom have done a good job on getting him back on his feet. In fact, he seemed completely normal during lunch and before Ashlyn knew it, they were relaxing with full bellies and big smiles.

“I wanted to thank you,” Kyle said when the laughter died down at one point.

“For what?”

“Alex,” he said simply, like it was obvious. “When I wasn’t there for her recently, you were. I can’t tell you how thankful I am.”

“Well, without your advice, I may have never gone for it.” She chuckled, playing with the rim of her glass before she looked up and met his gaze. “So really, I should be thanking you.”

Tom beamed at his boyfriend, giving him a small wink.

“Well,” Kyle shrugged. “I think you two would’ve figured it out eventually. I mean, you guys are perfect.”

Ashlyn’s mood changed at that. “Well, not completely.”

Within the next five minutes, she let them know everything that had happened with Madison from start to finish. Kyle wasn’t happy about the first time, at the Halloween party in mid October, and she could tell that it pissed him off, but he never once interrupted her. He just held Tom’s hand under the table and nodded every once in a while, until Ashlyn finally finished with her final dilemma.

“And now,” Ashlyn continued, “She’s kind of busy with school and I can’t really talk to her until next tomorrow. I mean, we’ll be okay and all but I just want to be back to normal without this weird vibe.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Well, that and she’s lying to you.”

“What?”

“Ali. She may have some school work, but she’s too smart to take up that much time. She just knows that she’s in the wrong and doesn’t want to face it, so she’s pushing you away for the time being.”
“I – wait – what?”

Kyle chuckled at Ashlyn. “Look, not that I like the idea of you hanging out with this redhead, it seems like you just want to help her pass her class. Whatever, that’s fine. You seem like that kind of person. But Ali, I’m sure that you know she’s a big insecure.”

“Which she doesn’t need to be,” Ashlyn interjected.

“But she is,” Kyle shot back. “And sometimes she lets that blind her. I can tell you would never cheat on my sister or let anyone else come onto you like that, but Ali just freaks out. And she knows it. And she’s never been good at saying ‘I was wrong’.”

“Yeah,” Tom chuckled. “Runs in the family.”

Kyle gave him a wink (making Ashlyn smile because he looked like his original self when he did that). “So walk over there and force her to talk to you.”

“Really?

He nodded. “Yes. And it’s best if she doesn’t see it coming.”

Ashlyn swallowed nervously. She didn’t like the idea of busting in Ali’s room, calling her out, and possibly getting into another fight because honestly, Ashlyn would cave. What Ali wanted, Ali got. And Ashlyn knew that. Ali might have but Ashlyn did, and that scared her, made her worry about just running in their room guns blazing.

“It’ll be fine,” Kyle encouraged.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to her after practice,” Ashlyn said. “But why are you guys even here?”

Tom answered. “We got a few weeks off. And with Thanksgiving next week, Kyle wanted to come home and get away from L.A. for a little bit and, you know, everything else.”

Kyle leaned over and kissed Kyle’s cheek. “And thank god this beauty decided to come with me.”

“So, when are you going to see Ali?”

They both shrugged but Kyle said, “Let me know when you two work things out. We want to explore a little bit anyway. With classes and practice, I can just see Ali tonight when you guys work it out. We can double date for ice cream.”

Ashlyn nodded. “Yeah, making up with Ali isn’t going to be that easy though.”

Tom leaned over and dropped his voice a little. “Between the two of us, if she’s anything like Kyle, a couple kisses and puppy dog eyes and you’ll be good as new.”

“Not true!”

“So true,” Tom chuckled.

Ashlyn laughed too, shaking her head. “Yeah, well, Ali may be just a little more complex than her brother.”

“Ha!” Kyle rolled his eyes. “A little?”

“Okay. A lot.”

Chapter Text

“Harris!” Coach yelled when she hopped off of Ben’s golf cart. He gave her a lift considering she was late to the training room after her talk with Kyle and Tom. The boys and herself got so caught up at lunch that they ended up leaving too late, hitting traffic, and practice was already twenty minutes into it. “Get over here!”

Everyone was stretching and all eyes were on her as she sulked over to Jill, where she stood off to the side of the group. Ali didn’t even look in her direction, keeping her eyes on her feet as she stretched. But a few of the other girls gave her some sympathetic looks, most of all from Whitney.

Coach crossed her arms when the keeper approached, dropping her bag. “Where were you?”

She sighed, not sure if she should tell Jill everything. But Abby always said that Coach finds out everything anyway, so she said, “A friend is in town and I had lunch with him. Time got away from us and we hit traffic and it just backfired on me.”

“That’s your excuse?”

“It’s what happened,” Ashlyn answered honestly. “Not an excuse.”

Jill studied her a moment before a small smile cracked through. “I thought you were going to say ‘my dog stole my shin guards’ or some idea to get me off your back.”
Ashlyn laughed. “Well, technically, now that I think about it…”

“Good try, kiddo,” Jill shook her head slightly. “But the tournament is not the time to be late to practices. We’ve got the championship game this Friday, and missing one practice can put Alyssa back above you, understand?”

Ashlyn immediately straightened. “Yes. Got it.”

“Good, so I want you to stay after with Zach and train and do some conditioning for being late.”

Great. She needed to talk to Ali ASAP and here she was, getting stuck with extra keeper training and conditioning, where she’ll probably need extra rehab afterwards, along with an ice bath, and then probably pass out after dinner.

This was not getting any easier.

But she nodded and took it. “Absolutely.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” She grabbed some cones and gave Ashlyn one more glance. “You’ve been good this year, Ashlyn, despite the trouble you think I don’t know about.”

Ashlyn frowned. “Um, trouble?”

“The festival in North Carolina, where you guys jumped the fence after sneaking out of the hotel?” Ashlyn’s eyes widened. “Sneaking into a bar downtown, underage. Yeah, I know the owner of that bar and he knows my players.” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. “Oh, and don’t think I don’t know about the little prank war between you, Sydney, Pinoe, even getting Whitney involved. Also, I walked into the whipped cream deathtrap in the locker room too before it got Hope.”

Ashlyn gave her a nervous smile, especially about the festival where they snuck off from the hotel. “Um, I was just–”

“Despite that, I like you, kid. Just be smart, yeah? You’re a good player and you bring a lightness to this team, a more relaxed vibe that some of the girls could use.”

“Like Hope?” she chuckled.

Jill nodded. “Yeah, like Hope. I’m sure she’s going to have plenty of words to say to you about this.”

Ashlyn turned and saw that Hope and Abby were talking and looking at her, and she knew exactly where her next lecture was coming from.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn nodded quickly. “I don’t doubt it one bit.”

________________________________

Ashlyn groaned as Ben tilted her shoulder and arm back. She was lying face down on the table, gripping it with her free hand like her life depended on it.

“I’m just stretching you,” Ben pointed out.

Ashlyn wanted to punch him. “Ben, you’re killing me, actually. I swear to God I want to– Shit!” He pulled it back hard before letting it release and slowly lowering her arm back down. “Kick you in the fucking nuts.”

He chuckled, his hands massaging out the knots in her shoulder. “I’m sure. You know, everyone appreciates me but you.”

“I appreciate you, just not as a trainer.”

“I’ve helped, haven’t I?”

Ashlyn paused. “I’m not giving you the satisfaction of answering that.”

Ben laughed. “Hold still. I’m going to get you some ice.”

She slowly got up, asking him, “No ice bath?”

“I’ve already drained it. They kept you that extra hour and it really threw off my timing.”

Ashlyn nodded. “Yeah. That’s fine.”

“Sorry kid.”

“It’s okay.”

He took off and Ashlyn took her spot on the edge of the patted table, sitting with her legs dangling on the side. Her hand immediately went to her bad shoulder, rubbing softly. She’d been having problems with it lately but luckily it wasn’t too bad. With Hope back, she still needed to be ready, especially with these games coming up. She wanted a championship, and as a freshmen, that would be a dream.

But there were other things on her mind as well. Like Kyle. Like Madison. Mainly Ali. This was a mess.

Kyle’s advice was good though. She was going to just walk to Ali’s room, and demand that they work this out. But she had to think about this correctly. It could be a bad step if she pushed to hard, fully aware of Ali’s insecurities, but if she didn’t push hard enough then the two of them wouldn’t get anywhere in the talk, maybe even take a few steps back.

“Here you go,” Ben said, stepping up and placing the ice on her shoulder, cooling her sports bra. She held it as he wrapped it in silence, the sound of the clear wrap being the only thing in the room.

He helped her put her sweatshirt on over it when they got it on tight, but as she started to leave, he called her back.

“What’s up?” Ashlyn asked in the doorway.

“I heard the girls talking earlier. About you.”

Ashlyn tensed. “Who?”

“Abby, Ali, and Hope.” Ben leaned back on the table behind him. “Look, whatever is going on between you and Ali, you two need to work it out. Hope isn’t happy about you missing practice, and she thinks it’s because you didn’t want to deal with the drama or whatever, and that affects the whole team.”

“No,” Ashlyn corrected. “I had a lunch date and time got away from us. I told Hope that.”

“And I’m sure that she probably didn’t believe it. And since Ali and Whitney both said they didn’t know you went out, everyone thinks you’re kind of lying about it.”

Shit. Ashlyn had to bite her tongue before she spit something out about Kyle being here. “Look, I really did just lose track of time. And the issue between Ali and me isn’t as dramatic as everyone is making it out to be. It’s just Madison, again, which is nothing that we can’t get over and it’s no surprise at this point.”

Ben nodded. “Ali is strong but she doesn’t like to be threatened, okay? I just want her to be safe. She doesn’t need a relationship that makes her worry and stress.”

“She will be safe. I promise.”

And as Ashlyn turned to leave, he called her back again. “And Ash?”

“Yeah.”

“I want you to be happy too,” He added, giving her a small smile. “I care about you guys, all of you, and Ali will get over her whatever is going on when she realizes everything you’ve done for her.”

Ashlyn nodded, a smile finally tugging at her lips. “Thanks, Ben.”

“Anytime. Now try not to hurt yourself, okay?”

With a laugh, Ashlyn nodded. “No promises.”

---------------------------------------

After a shower, some dinner with Whitney, a bit of a pep talk, a text from Kyle for encouragement, and a deep breath, Ashlyn walked up to Ali’s apartment door, knocking softly and nervously.

Heather was the one to answer, and her eyes widened when she saw Ashlyn. “Oh, hey.”

“I need to talk to Ali.”

“I agree.” She stepped aside, letting Ashlyn inside. “She’s in the bedroom. I’ll just be out here.”

“Thanks, Heather.”

Ashlyn didn’t knock on the bedroom door and just walked in, closing and locking the door behind her. Ali had her beats on and was bobbing her head to music as she typed away at her desk, her back to Ashlyn.

But Ashlyn wasn’t having that and walked forwards, reaching over the brunette and closing the laptop, causing Ali to frown. She looked up and froze at Ashlyn’s serious gaze, something no one sees on the blonde very often.

“What are you–”

“We need to talk and I’m not waiting,” Ashlyn stated, leaning against Ali’s bed with her arms crossed. “We can have a ten minute conversation and you can finish your paper in plenty of time. There’s no point in waiting until tomorrow.”

Ali sighed. “Okay, fine.”

“You’re mad about Madison, which I get. But Ali, you have to understand that Madison is just... not even a friend. I’m like her tutor. That’s the only thing that’s there now, I promise. We talk when she needs my help in class or in the library. That’s it. We have to stop fighting about this, for Christ’s sakes!”

“It’s just her. Madison makes me so mad and... I dont know. She really just pisses me off and–”

“I know how insecure you can be, but you have no reason to be Ali.”

Ali’s eyes widened. “What?”

“A few people have told me,” Ashlyn said calmly as she let her attitude fade out. “After everything that’s happened, you really think I wouldn’t have caught on or people wouldn’t have told me?” Ali was quiet, so Ashlyn continued. “Ali, why are you keeping things from me like that? If I make you feel anything close to upset or insecure, I want to know to fix it. You’re the strongest person I know on the field, in life in general, and you keep this secret locked away like it won’t affect you or anyone around you. You don’t have to hide this stuff.”

Ali sighed, running a hand through her now dried and washed hair. “It’s not easy to just say that stuff Ashlyn.”

The tone of her voice showed how upset she really was. And Ashlyn cringed at causing it. She walked towards her girlfriend, squatting in front of her with her hands on Ali’s legs. “I know it’s not easy, but we both need to open up to each other. We promised that we would talk when we were upset. We had no problem doing it when we were just friends.”

“But we’re not just friends anymore.”

“Ali.” Ashlyn grabbed the girl’s hands and kissed them both softly before meeting her gaze. “I love you. I don’t want you to be insecure and think I would ever choose anyone over you. But I’m also someone who will go out of my way to help people. If that’s going to cause problems, then we need to work it out now.”

“Do you ever feel like that?”

“You mean insecure?”

Ali nodded.

Ashlyn thought about it. “I think everyone does. Some people are insecure about presentations or their opinions, but after Chloe left me, yeah, I became even more insecure than I was before. And the reason I was a trouble maker and still am is because of that same insecurity, that people won’t like me if I can’t make them laugh or joke or do stupid stuff. Every time Hope starts over me, that little bit of doubt is there. But you,” she paused, giving Ali her most genuine smile, “you make me feel anything but insecure and I want you to feel the same way about me. The fact that you don’t makes me realize I’m not doing anything near as much as I need to.”

The other girl was quiet for the longest time, and finally nodded before leaning forward and pressing her forehead to Ashlyn’s. “I’m sorry. I’m being a total bitch.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“It’s just… my time of the month has my hormones going crazy and–”

Ashlyn laughed, kissing Ali softly on the lips. “Babe, it’s okay. I get it. I’ve dealt with it before. I’m fully aware of your emotional craziness right now. And this time, it’s even justified.”

She smiled slightly and blushed. “You’re the best.”

“So I’ve been told.” Ashlyn pulled Ali to her feet, wrapping her arms around her and holding her close. “Oh, and I have a surprise for you.”

Ali pulled back. “What?”

“Yeah. But you need to do me a favor first.”

“Okay?” Ali questioned.

Ashlyn let her girlfriend go, walking towards the closet. She found a bandana that can work as a blindfold and smiled at Ali when she held it up.

Ali rolled her eyes. “Seriously? Is this going to be a thing for us?”

“Of course,” Ashlyn smiled. “But trust me, you’ll love this.”

-------------------------

They made it to the field, where Ali was questioning Ashlyn with a thousand words a minute, and when Ashlyn finally told her she could take the blindfold off, she screamed and sprinted towards Kyle who was standing with his hands out wide and a smile on his face.

Ashlyn and Tom watched a few feet away as the siblings talked. Ali questioned him about his situation. He told her how he was coming for Thanksgiving. They talked about both Tom and Ashlyn while both Tom and Ashlyn looked on, smiled, and chuckled to each other. The siblings gossiped and talked for ten minutes before finally taking a breather from each other.

When they did, Ali ran towards Ashlyn and jumped on her. The blonde barely had time to catch her as legs wrapped around her waist.

“Thank you. This is amazing,” Ali said, holding her tight.

Ashlyn shrugged. “You know that it wasn’t anything to do with me. This was Kyle wanting to show up.”

“I don’t care. Thank you.”

“But I didn’t–”

Ali cut her off with a kiss, dropping her legs from Ashlyn’s hips and giving her a happy smile. “Just take it,” she giggled. “Lord knows you deserve more recognition for everything else at least.”

Kyle and Tom laughed, holding hands. “You two,” Kyle teased. “You’re adorable.”

Ashlyn blushed. “Yeah well, it’s the better half over here,” she said, nudging Ali lightly with her hip.

“A smooth talker,” Tom inquired. “You and I will get along great. That’s how you pull the Krieger’s in.”

“Great minds think alike,” Ashlyn winked playfully. “It’s the secret weapon.”

“So now that our dates are flirting with each other,” Kyle teased, pretending to give Tom a stern look but failing. “How about some dinner? Tom’s treat.”

“Excuse me?”

“Please?” Kyle begged.

Ashlyn laughed as the group headed towards Tom’s car. “Don’t worry,” she said as she clapped Tom on the back. “I got Ali and me.”

Tom and Kyle continued to joke as they walked away from the field, and she and Ali kind of fell behind. Ali’s hands were wrapped around Ashlyn’s arm, and she leaned into her, taking a deep breath that sounded like a sigh.

Ashlyn heard it though. “You okay?”

“You know, you don’t have to pay for me everywhere we go,” She mumbled into Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“What?” Ashlyn asked. “Of course I do. You’re my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, but financially you should be saving for your trip home and–”

This again. Money was not something Ashlyn wanted to talk about right now. She pulled Ali back, giving her a hard look. “I’ll make it home, and be able to take you to dinner. Relax, Ali. Please.”

The brunette nodded, linking her fingers with Ashlyn’s. “I hate how your stubbornness won’t let me help.”

“If I ever really need it, I’ll let you know.” Ashlyn kissed the top of Ali’s head, opening the back car door for her as Tom and Kyle slipped in the front. “Okay?”

Ali paused, halfway in the car and halfway out. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

Chapter Text

“How is it back home?” Ali asked.

Ashlyn sat on her bed, her laptop to the side with Ali’s shining face on it and perfect mascara. Thanksgiving had come and went, and it was the next morning on Black Friday. Ashlyn had just gotten back in at 10:00 AM, buying all of her Christmas presents and getting everyone a present that she needed. So now, she was basically broke. But…

“It’s been great. Chris, Angela, and Grandma have been amazing. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until I got back.” She fixed her tank top as she lied on her stomach on the bed, her hair in a bun. “I missed home so much.”

Ali, who was also lying on her bed in a similar position, beamed at that. “And your dad? How as yesterday? You seemed pretty busy and didn’t text me much.”

Ashlyn nodded in apology. “Yeah, I didn’t mean for that to happen. But it actually wasn’t that bad. He talked to Chris alone for a while, and they worked things out pretty easily. My grandma jumped right in as the loving person she is, welcoming my dad with open arms, so it was nice. He left later last night to head back up to my mom. I already miss him though.”

“I’m glad it’s all working out. At least with your dad.”

Just thinking about it had Ashlyn’s smile pulling back at her face again. “I am too. We went surfing yesterday, and it was like I was fourteen again.”

Ali raised an eyebrow. “You and your dad?”

“And Chris.” Ashlyn shifted so the laptop was actually in her lap, her back against the headboard of the bed. She saw Ali look down the camera, obviously checking out her upper half, but just felt flattered and didn’t comment on that. “The three of us. My dad even wiped out like he always did. No surprise there.”

Ali looked at Ashlyn a little too deeply for the blonde to not get a little hot and bothered by. “I can’t wait to see you surf. I can only imagine how hot you look.”

Ashlyn blushed, smiled, and rubbed the back of her neck. “You know, I don’t know how you reduce me to someone who can’t even be cocky when you say something like that. Honestly, what have you done to me?”

Ali laughed, dropping her head before picking it up again, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Let me guess. You’d normally say, ‘I’ve been told that it’s a sight to see’ or something like that?”

“Maybe,” Ashlyn mumbled. “But some girls have fainted at the sight before I even had a chance to be confident.”

“Wow,” Ali rolled her eyes. “Don’t expect that from me. I may jump you, but I won’t out on the chance to look because I couldn’t keep consciousness. That’s not my style.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” With a smile, Ashlyn let the conversation linger for a moment before finally taking a deep breath, looking at Ali through the screen. “I miss you so much, Ali.”

The brunette nodded once, her eyes going from playful to sincere. “You have no idea. And since Kyle and Tom are both here, they’re getting all of the attention and I am feeling less of a princess by the day.”

“I’ll make it up to you when we get back.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“How are they?” Ashlyn asked quickly. “Tom and Kyle? Did it go well yesterday too?”

“Yeah.” Ali’s eyes brightened at the thought of it. “Tom is great. My parents loved him as soon as we introduced him a few days ago. He hit it off perfectly, and I’ve never seen Kyle happier, despite the situation with his rehab.”

Ashlyn was happy that it worked out. “That’s only going to help with Kyle’s recovery. That’s good.”

“I want you to meet them,” Ali said softly, almost shyly. “Watching Kyle and Tom together makes me want to introduce you to my family.”

“I will, you know, one day.”

Ali raised a perfect eyebrow. “Why, Harris, is that nervousness I detect?”

“A little,” she said softly. “Maybe? No. actually, I can handle it. If I can handle you AND Kyle, I can handle your parents.”

“Funny.” She rolled her eyes but she was smiling anyway. “I–”

“Is that my girlfriend?!” Ashlyn heard Kyle yelled and Ali looked up towards the door, squealing as Kyle ran and jumped on the bed, landing next to Ali and beaming at Ashlyn. “Hi, babe!”

“Hey, hot stuff,” Ashlyn chuckled, playing along. “How is my favorite Krieger?”

Kyle answered with an “I’m great” at the same time Ali glared and asked “What the hell?”

“Kyle?” Ashlyn tilted her head to the side. “Are you wearing pants?”

“Of course not. Is that a question?”

Ali nudged her brother. “Tom is here so he’s hardly ever clothed.”

“I’ve been naked my whole life,” Kyle shot back. “Thank you very much. Sex has nothing to do with it.”

Suddenly, Ashlyn’s door to her room opened, revealing Chris and his wife, Angela. He gave her a sympathetic smile, knowing she didn’t get too many chances to talk to Ali. “Hey, Ash. You ready?”

She nodded and sighed. “Yeah, give me five minutes.”

Chris took that and closed the door again after yelling a hello at Ali which she blushed at.

“Where you going?” The brunette asked, Kyle looking equally intrigued.

“Tattoo parlor.”

Ali’s eyes widened and Kyle’s looked ecstatic. “Wow. A tattoo?” Ali asked.

“I know I should’ve told you,” Ashlyn directed at Ali. “But I just kind of wanted to do it, you know? I’ve always wanted one and now, fuck it, I’m doing it.”

“You’d look hot with a sleeve,” Kyle said. “Just saying.”

“Thanks. I’ll work on that.”

“Send me a picture when you get it?” Ali asked. She looked confused and a little hurt that Ashlyn never told her but the blonde could still see the excitement and wonder in what Ashlyn was getting ready to do.

So she shook her head no. “Absolutely… not, beautiful. I love you, but you’re going to have to wait.”

“What?!”

“Sorry, but no. I still love you though.”

Ali, looking bummed but trying to hide a smile, mumbled an, “Love you too.”

“I love you more!” Kyle yelled before he grabbed the laptop and shut it, getting the final word in.

“Typical,” Ashlyn laughed, dropping the laptop beside her. “He always has to get the last word.”

OOOOOOOOOOOO

“So you’re sure about this?” Chris asked.

It was the two of them, standing before the tattoo parlor that one of Chris’ high school friends owns and works at. This was a spontaneous decision, but Ashlyn wanted her story to be known and written down, and this is how she wanted to do it.

She nodded. “I am.”

“Alright.” He stepped forward and opened the door for her. “Then, let’s do this. Marcus cleared two appointments for you so no backing out.”

“Never.”

She knew what she wanted, but she knew it would take a while and she was nervous about it. Actually, it was terrifying what she was thinking about doing, but that’s what she was the most excited about. No one at school knew about this, so it’ll be quite the surprise for everyone.

Marcus, who was naturally covered in tattoos in a cut off sleeve, introduced himself and they got to talking about the tattoo. He was a little surprised at Ashlyn’s suggestion of what she wanted, and more surprised about the size of it. He said that he expected something that most girls want like a dreamcatcher or birds, not Greek Gods and Goddesses.

It took 8 hours to finish the black and white peace, 8 hours, and Ashlyn felt like her arm was starting to go numb. Even with the breaks, it wasn’t too painful but it wasn’t on her good shoulder and she wasn’t used to keeping her messed up piece still.

Chris and Marcus talked the entire time, catching up since Chris’s last tattoo. They talked about Angela, about Ashlyn’s college experience, about Ali – much to Ashlyn’s surprise because Chris told him about his sister’s girlfriend – and about the family drama. It was nice though, and Ashlyn loved every second of it. She found herself liking the feeling of the needles, liking Marcus and his laid back attitude, and just loved being around her brother.

This was something she’d come back and do more often.

“Alright,” Marcus announced sometime after the sun had gone done. “You, little lady, are done.”

“Just as it was starting to feel good too,” she said with a bummed voice, but she beamed when Marcus held up a mirror and let her get a good look of the tattoo.

Athena and Zeus decorated her upper arm, dancing across her skin in swirls of black and white and grey. Her jaw dropped at the sight of it. It looked amazing, even with the skin irritation caused by the needles.

“You’re amazing,” Ashlyn announced in awe, causing the two men to just laugh.

“It looks great,” Chris said, shaking Marcus’s hand. “Thanks man. You never disappoint.”

“If I did, I’d be out of a job.”

“Ali’s going to love it,” Chris mentioned, giving his sister and approving nod. “Seriously, it looks fantastic, little sis.”

Ashlyn stared at it for a while before looking at her brother, suddenly serious. “Do you… do you think Dad will like it?”

“Are you crazy?” Chris laughed. “Of course he will. It looks amazing, and it’s for him. He’s going to be so excited.” He paused though and then laughed again to himself. “And it’s going to piss Mom off to no end. So I can only thank you for that.”

“Yeah, she hates tattoos.”

“One of the reasons I started to get them.”

The siblings bumped fists and laughed.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Two days later, Ashlyn was flying back up to school with arrangements for Whitney to pick her up. At the moment, she was going through her check list that her grandma made, making sure that they had everything as Chris looked on with amusement.

“You have your shirts, jackets, sweatpants, boots? It gets cold up there.”

“Yes, Grandma, I got it.”

“What about Ali’s present?”

She tapped her jacket pocket that she had on with the box in her pocket. “Right here.”

“Your wallet?”

“Yes.”

“School work?”

“I left it up there.”

“Beanie?”

“Yup.”

“Toothbrush?”

“Grandma.” Ashlyn stepped forward in the foyer, wrapping her Grandmother in a hug. “I got everything I need. It’s three more weeks and then I’m home, so I will be okay. I promise.”

“Yeah. Okay. Sounds good.”

“And thanks for the mac and cheese,” Ashlyn said before kissing her Grandmother’s cheek and pulled away, grabbing her carry-on bag for the plane. Chris stood by the car when she finally headed down there, grabbing her bag and throwing it in the back of the jeep before finally getting in. Ashlyn waved to her Grandma as they pulled out of the short driveway, and she was finally off to school again, to Ali.

The drive to the airport was quiet between the siblings, as was the departure. Neither knew what to say, and Chris just told her that he loved her and couldn’t wait to see her over Christmas for more than a week this time.

The flight back was short, simple, and the usual. Plenty of people on the plane, Ashlyn crammed against the wall, at least one obnoxious child that couldn’t sit still or be quiet, and a crappy movie that she’s already seen.

So when she finally saw Whitney by her car at the arrivals section of the airport, she dropped her bags and sprinted over. “Whitney!”

Her best friend looked up from her phone, beaming and jumped into Ashlyn’s arms, letting the taller blonde swing her around as they laughed.

“Oh my god! Let me see it!” Whitney screamed, causing a few people to turn towards them. “Give it to me!”

Ashlyn chuckled, reaching into her jacket, having some trouble with the gloves that she had on, and pulled out the box. Whitney opened it immediately, gasping as her hand flew to her mouth.

“Holy shit.”

“I know.”

“How much was this?”

“A lot,” Ashlyn chuckled. “I mean, my dad helped me out when I bought it, but I promised to pay him back. Where I’m going to find that money, I don’t know.”

“Ali is going to freak.”

Ashlyn nodded, taking back the box and putting it back in her pocket safely. “Yeah, I hope so. And I don’t think I even make it to Christmas to give it to her.”

Whitney chuckled. “I’d be surprised if I can even keep a secret. Holy shit, I’m excited.”

Ashlyn grabbed her bags and took a deep breath, wishing she shared her friend’s excitement instead of the panic. “Yeah, well that’s only one surprise.” She tossed her bag in the trunk and slid into the car, watching as Whitney’s eyes slightly widened as she remembered.

“Oh yeah! Show me the other thing.”

After struggling and moving around, Ashlyn finally got her jacket off and her long sleeve rolled up, revealing the massive tattoo.

Whitney reached out and touched it, smiling at her friend. “Ali isn’t going to be able to control herself.”

Ashlyn blushed. “You think?”

“Heather didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” she asked, rolling her sleeve back down.

Whitney gave Ashlyn a teasing wink. “She has a thing for tattoos.”

Chapter Text

The team was back together that Sunday night when Whitney and Ashlyn finally made it to campus. They were celebrating their National Championship win from the week before, which Hope played in but they won so Ashlyn was cool with it. Since it was across the country and everyone had left for Thanksgiving by the time they got back, it was time to officially celebrate.

The campus was going crazy. Different apartments were full of drunken teenagers and athletes and drama kids and anyone and everyone just partying and living it up before finals swarmed then in the next few weeks. After this, it was buckle down, and the team wanted to do nothing but let loose.

It took Ashlyn and Whitney about thirty minutes to get ready. Ash dressed in one of Ali’s favorite outfits, despite the cold weather, which was just her black combat boots, black pants, grey t-shirt with her leather jacket and a grey fedora.

It was late into the party by the time they got there. They stepped inside, music pounding, bodies dancing, people talking and drinking. HAO was hammered with her boyfriend on the couch, screaming as they walked in and jumping on Ashlyn happily. Amy was just as nuts with Lauren. Baby Morgan and Kling were playing beer pong. Hell, even Carli, Hope, and Abby were drinking with Christie behind the counter with a few guys and Abby’s girlfriend.

But as happy as Ashlyn as to see them, she really just wanted to see one person in particular. Ali had been begging to come to Ashlyn’s room, but she wanted to surprise her at the party instead, and now she had the chance.

So she took off, leaving Whitney with HAO, and started to wonder. She found KAO making out with some soccer player from the guy’s team. She dodged Alex and Servano against the wall. And by the time she made it to the downstairs basement of the frat house, she had seen too many people making out and getting it on. All that changed when she finally spotted Ali though.

Her back was to the blonde on the stairs. She was talking to a group of her German buddies from her classes, a beer bottle in her hand. She was leaning on the side of the couch, obviously for balance, and Ashlyn couldn’t help herself but to smile.

“Mind if I steal this angel for a little bit?” Ashlyn asked her friends as she snuck her arms around Ali, pressing her face into her shoulder.

The brunette turned and squealed, instantly jumping on Ashlyn and knocking her off balance and to the floor, the beer spilling onto the carpet as one of the German guys yelled out ‘party foul!’ Everyone around them laughed as Ali ignored him and peppered kisses along Ashlyn’s face randomly in her drunken and messy state, but Ash didn’t mind one bit.

“You’re finally here,” Ali said between kisses. “I missed you.” Kiss. “And I love you.” Another kiss. “And I’m so happy to see you.” Kiss. “And don’t ever leave me again.” Another kiss, but this one was to Ashlyn’s lips, and the blonde responded instantly, pulling Ali in instead of letting her back up again.

They lied on the floor, making out with Ali on Ashlyn for who knows how long? Ashlyn had been without her kisses for too long, and she easily got caught up until someone whistled and she heard Pinoe yell something like ‘get a room’. Finally, Ashlyn pushed Ali back lightly.

“Well, hi to you too,” the blonde beamed.

Ali was breathing hard, looking like she could barely believe what was before her. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”

“Ditto.” Ashlyn pulled her close for one more kiss before moving to stand. Ali helped her up but never let go of her, keeping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck. The blonde loved every second of it. “How much have you had to drink, by chance?”

“A little.”

“A little… bit too much?” Ashlyn teased.

“No,” Ali laughed, slapping her shoulder lightly. “But enough to want you to dance with me.”

Ashlyn pulled Ali close with her hands on her lower back. “Anything for you.”

“Good, because you’re in for a long night.”

---------------------------------------------

With Heather staying with Dave again, Ali’s room was clear. It was four in the morning by the time they left the Kappa frat house, Ali sobered up and Ashlyn right behind her. They had danced basically all of the alcohol out of their system, and Ashlyn started to freak out a little bit as Ali closed the door behind her, locking it so Pinoe wouldn’t make any unknown surprises.

The quiet was a completely different environment, and Ashlyn didn’t move from her spot in the middle of the room as Ali walked towards her, wrapping her arms around her neck and pulling in for a slow kiss, one of the slowest and sensual kisses they’ve ever shared.

They stood there, unmoving, Ashlyn’s hands on Ali’s waists as their lips just slowly moved with one another. They lost track of time as Ali slowly pushed Ashlyn towards the bed, achingly slow, and Ashlyn turned to lay her down gently, sliding over her.

Her jacket came off first, revealing a small glimmer of her new tattoo. Ali’s eyes zeroed in on it, her hand moving over it gently. With her gazed locked over the ink, she reached for Ashlyn’s shirt and pulled it up slowly until it dropped to the floor and Ali’s fingers started to dance over the newly exposed and patterned skin of Ashlyn’s upper arm.

The entire time, the keeper kept her gaze on Ali. The way her eyes darkened slightly. The way she licked her lips. The way her cheeks were still flushed from the alcohol. The way her nose crinkled when she smiled, finally meeting Ashlyn’s gaze as they leaned towards each other for another kiss.

There was no communication other than their touches and their movements. Ashlyn, this time, knew that Ali was ready. Al showed she was ready. They were no longer drunk and had sobered up. They weren’t being influenced by anything other than their need for each other, and a week apart showed Ashlyn that she didn’t want to hold off from Ali anymore. They needed each other in every way possible.

Turns out, what Whitney said was true. Ali loved tattoos, and she kept one hand on Ashlyn’s tattoo the whole time. When Ashlyn leaned down and kissed down Ali’s neck or her chest, the other girl moved her lips over the new tattoo every time. Something had to be touching or moving over the ink, and it only turned Ashlyn on more that Ali was reacting to it like that.

Nothing was rushed. It was actually the slowest, calmest, most relax feeling Ashlyn had endured in a long time.

She wasn’t sure why. Ali made her excited but calmed her down and turned her on and made her happy and it was such a mix of emotion that Ashlyn didn’t want to do anything to rush it. She wanted it to last forever, so they took their time, removing clothing one by one and kissing every inch of each other’s skin.

Until eventually, Ashlyn’s hand trailed down Ali’s body, creating chill bumps on her girlfriend’s skin. When she finally got to where Ali was ready for her, the blonde pressed her forehead to Ali, simply asking, “You’re sure?”

Ali kissed her without a question and nodded. “100% ready.”

It was something Ashlyn had never experienced. 10 times better than her hookups. 1000x better than anything with Chloe and completely different. Ali and Ashlyn moved perfectly together, communicated well without words, found what both liked and what they didn’t. It was hot at times, sensual at times, they’d tease and laugh and smiled and kissed and touched and it felt like heaven.

And afterwards, they laid side by side, Ali playing with Ashlyn’s fingers in between them in one hand. Their legs were tangled together, and Ashlyn watched Ali’s face as she dropped Ashlyn’s hand and moved towards her shoulder with the tattoo, like she had done for the past hour and a half.

“I love this,” was the first thing that either had said after what happened, the silence was just welcomed but now that Ali had broken the silence, Ashlyn’s mind started to actually work again.

She glanced towards her arm. “I’ve got to get the little details finished over Christmas, and I have a few more in mind that I want. But I do like this one. He did well with Zeus and Athena.”

“For you and your dad?” Ashlyn nodded and Ali stared in awe. “It’s amazing.”

“You’re amazing.”

Ali blushed, giving her a look. “Stop being cute. I don’t have the energy to show you what that does to me.”

Ashlyn laughed and wrapped her arm around Ali, pulling their bare bodies together as Ali wrapped her arm around the blonde’s waist, her hand on her shoulder. “I love you, Ali. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do.”

The keeper kissed Ali’s head lightly. The brunette yawned rather dramatically, curling into Ashlyn’s more. “Go to sleep,” Ashlyn laughed. “I’ll be here in the morning.”

“I know,” Ali whispered tiredly. “And Ashlyn?”

“Yeah, beautiful?”

“I’m glad you’re here, and I missed you.”

------------------------------------------------------

Whitney and Ashlyn were sitting at lunch later that first day back to classes. After the crazy night that she had, Ashlyn got maybe three hours of sleep before Ali had to wake her up for her first class. And since then, they hadn’t had a chance to see each other.

But her best friend looked at her concerned. “Ashlyn, you’ve been quiet. Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Ashlyn looked up from her sandwich, completely missing what Whitney said due to her thoughts. “What did you say?”

Whitney squinted her eyes at her. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, just thinking.”

“About?”

Ashlyn played with the chips on her plate, pushing them back and forth with her head in her other hand. “Just… last night.”

“Day dreaming?” Whitney teased.

“No,” Ashlyn said with a small smile. “Like, really thinking. Not about what happened, but you know.”

“I don’t.” Whitney leaned forward. “Ashlyn, what is going on in that genius brain of yours? I thought you’d want to talk about what happened and be excited. Which you were, until suddenly you’re closed off completely.”

“It’s Ali.” Ashlyn took a deep breath before she sat straighter, looked Whitney in the eyes, and blurted out, “I am completely and one hundred percent head over heels in love with her and that scares the shit out of me.”

Whitney looked taken aback. “Scared? Why? It’s Ali. What is there to be scared of?”

“It’s a long story.”

Whitney softened her eyes at her best friend. “Well, we’ve got time.”

“It’s just…” she paused. “Ali is everything to me right now. And I hope she always is. But Chloe… I wasn’t anywhere near as crazy about her as I am about Ali, and when she broke my heart I almost lost my mind. If it wasn’t for my brother, I might have gone down the same addiction paths they have, even knowing that I had soccer. It was hard for weeks. And Ali has a power over me that no one ever has had before and I’m scared out of my mind.”

Whitney put her drink down and ran her hands over her face. “Ashlyn, we both know that Ali wouldn’t hurt you. You’ll fight, yes. You two will argue, of course. Everyone will disagree at some point, but you two aren’t going to break up and have problems like you and Chloe had. It’s different. Ali isn’t Chloe, and you’re not the same person that I started the semester with. Besides, you two are perfect for each other.”

“And that’s what scares me.”

“Why?”

“I’m scared of being alone, Whitney,” Ashlyn blurted out, gripping at her hair. “And Ali is it for me. I can’t be with another person after her. I can feel it. And it’s only been a couple of months. If I lose her, I’m done. And I’m scared shitless of being alone.”

“You won’t be.”

Ashlyn felt Whitney reach over and grab her arm, pulling her hands from her hair and forcing their eyes to meet.

“Ashlyn, Ali spent all break talking about you whenever Heather called her. She did nothing but ask me when you would get back, so she didn’t seem too eager with you and too girlfriend crazy by asking you, even though she is. You bought her that freaking–”

“Shh!” Ashlyn quickly interjected. “I don’t want anyone to know yet, Whitney. Keep your freaking mouth shut, you moron.”

Whitney looked around incredulously. “No one is even here that we know, Ashlyn.”

“Still. Hush.”

“Fine, you bought her the… thing,” she said with an eye roll. “And there is nothing you need to worry about. Last night was good, yes?”

Ashlyn nodded and sighed happily thinking about it, closing her eyes. “Amazing.”

“So stop worrying. You two will be fine.”

Ashly nodded, taking in her best friend’s words of wisdom. “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” Whitney said, slumping back in her seat after finally convincing her stressed friend to relax. “Good lord. I thought sex relieved people but it doesn’t nothing but wind you up.”

“Ali just makes me crazy.”

“In a good way, right?”

Ashlyn nodded, popping a chip in her mouth now that she had the stomach to eat again. “The best way.”

Chapter Text

The days spent before finals were about the same and simple. The team would get together for pickup every once in a while if it wasn’t too cold or snowing. Most interactions outside of class or the field were in the library. Ashlyn, much to Ali’s discomfort, helped Madison and a few others for their final Bio test along with the final, but it was in a group so Ali decided that she had to drop her issues and just let it happen. Especially since Ashlyn didn’t say anything about her working with John on their final project, even though Ashlyn hated it. The two just had to trust each other, and they did.

But when they did get to hang out away from school, it was normally just dinner dates or one time they went to a movie. Time was just too precious at the moment, between getting ready to be a month apart and having to study, they were feeling pressed to really be together while they could.

Ashlyn especially. She wasn’t sure how she was going to last a whole month away from Ali, especially around a time like the Holidays.

But finals were starting the next day, and they were in Ali’s room with HAO, studying away with some music playing in the background as the three focused on getting the grades they desired.

Ali leaned over at one point though, away from her German paper, and kissed Ashlyn on the cheek where they sat on the bed. “Ich liebe dich.”

Ashlyn frowned. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

“Stop being cute,” HAO directed at Ali, a small smile on her face. “I’m trying to study.”

“Wait, what does it mean?” Ashlyn pressed.

“I love you.”

That didn’t stop Ashlyn though. “Ali.”

“Ashlyn.”

“You can’t do that to me. Just tell me.”

Her girlfriend smiled that nose crinkle grin and shrugged, kissing her on the lips softly. “Sure I can. I’m your girlfriend so I can do what I want.”

Ashlyn pulled her back for a longer kiss before letting her go. “Please?”

“No.”

“You know I can look it up.”

Ali shrugged and sighed. “I already told you what it means.”

Ashlyn frowned. And then thought, and paused for a moment before shaking her head. “No you didn’t?”

“Yes I did.”

Ashlyn shook her head but Ali just leaned in and kissed her cheek lightly, a smile on her face. “I love you,” she implied a little harder, giving Ashlyn a look that she finally caught onto.

“Oh,” she chuckled, kissing Ali lightly. “Well, ich liebe dich, too.”

Ali burst out laughing at her terrible pronunciation and mix of German and English. “That was horrible.”

“So why did you randomly say that anyway?” Ashlyn asked, looking down at Ali’s laptop, seeing nothing but a German mess that she couldn’t begin to comprehend. “Are you writing a love story or something?”

“No, it’s about a romance novel, but we have to analyze it in German and the quote had that in it.”

Ashlyn nodded, going back to her own work when Ali leaned her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder no more than ten minutes later. “Do you have to work with Madison and the group tonight?”

Ever since the drama, Ashlyn had decided that legit tutoring was the way to go. A few kids in the class had asked her for help, so to ease Ali and her own stress of the situation, she managed to start a study group to keep everyone together, everyone to study, and no drama between Madison and Ali.

So with an honest answer, Ashlyn said, “Not really. I told Madison, Cooper, and Kailey that if they needed me, they could call. I have too much to do to worry about every detail though with my Chemistry test tomorrow on top of Biology.”

“You’ll do great, you know.”

“I know. But well, I need to be perfect to keep my A+.”

“You will.” Ali kissed her shoulder, covered with her dry fit long sleeve black shirt. “Besides, you could probably teach that class at this point. You need to go into tutoring more than your little study group, actually get paid for it.”

“Maybe next year,” Ashlyn thought. But then, something else popped into her head, but it wouldn’t be a short conversation. “So, are you done?”

“Just finished, why?”

Ashlyn moved both their laptops and papers and books to the side before grabbing Ali’s hand in hers, letting the brunette drape her legs over Ashlyn’s. “I wanted to talk to you about everything.”

“You mean the break?”

“Yeah. Christmas and all that.”

Ali gave Ashlyn her full attention. “What about it?”

“Well, presents. Do you want to do it before or afterwards?”

“Do you have mine already?” Ali asked, almost shocked at the prospect.

Ashlyn nodded. “I found it over Thanksgiving and I couldn’t stop myself from buying it.”

“And you have it here? At school?”

“Yeah.”

Ali’s excitement scared Ashlyn as she yelled. “GIVE IT TO ME!”

“I’m done,” HAO announced, jumping form her bed, giving them a look. “I’m going to the library and you two better not be having sex when I get back.”

Ali blushed. Ashlyn laughed. HAO winked and then she was gone, leaving the two and Ali’s very excited state. Ashlyn almost wished HAO would stay to help her calm the defender down a little bit.

“So,” Ali pressed fidgeting in Ashlyn’s lap. “Where is it? What is it? Can I see it?”

“I–” Ashlyn laughed at the situation. “I’m not giving it to you now. I just wanted to ask when you wanted to do it.”

Ali frowned intensely. “Why not now? I have yours. You have mine. It makes sense.”

This time, it was Ashlyn’s turn to look shocked. “You… you have a present for me already?”

With a beaming smile, Ali nodded quickly. “Well, kind of present. Not your full present but sort of.”

“So, now?”

“Now.”

Ashlyn took that and nodded, motioning for Ali to stand. She did, jumping off the bed and Ashlyn moved towards her school back, reaching in the front pocket. The small box had a red ribbon tied around it, but as soon as Ali noticed that it was jewelry, her eyes widened and her hand went to her mouth.

“You sure you want this now?” Ashlyn teased, rotating it in her hand. “We can wait, you know.”

Ali reached for it. “Give it to me.”

Ashlyn’s keeper reflexes allowed her to dodge Ali’s hand though, and she wanted to tease her girlfriend for her eagerness. “I don’t know. I kind of want to wait. The suspense is the fun part.”

“Ashlyn!”

“I mean, what’s a few days, right?”

“I swear to God…” Ali jumped at Ashlyn, tackling them both to the carpet rug. They wrestled for a while, laughing and joking, until Ashlyn finally let Ali win and rolled to her back, the brunette on straddling her with the box in her hands.

Ali looked so proud of herself, and Ashlyn rolled her eyes at that. “Shut up, Krieger.”

“I win.”

“I let you.”

“Funny.” Ali stuck her tongue out before looking at the small box in her hands. Ashlyn saw her staring and her own heart was racing as Ali slowly pulled at the ribbon. She was nervous. She was petrified. What if Ali didn’t like it? What if it was too much, too soon? What if this was a really bad idea.

But she stayed quiet. Ali dropped the ribbon and opened the top of it, her hand going to her mouth in a gasp as she looked at what was inside.

It was a small A on a necklace, surrounded by diamonds on the outside. The silver and shining diamonds caught Ashlyn’s eyes instantly as they walked by Jared’s at the mall. She hated that she had to have help to get it, but she was going to pay her dad back in the future. Right now, she was just praying that Ali actually liked it.

“Oh my god,” Ali breathed, still staring at it. “Ashlyn…” she touched the small letter, her eyes widening even more when it dawned on her that it was from Jared’s and it was real. “How did you… how much did this cost?”

“Don’t worry about that,” she answered instantly. She knew Ali would worry about the money, but she didn’t want her to focus on that. “Do you like it?”

Ali nodded, still in shock.

Ashlyn slowly sat up, keeping Ali on her lap on the floor as she took the necklace from the box. She unhooked the clip, wrapping it around Ali’s neck as she fixed her hair, hooking it in the back and letting it drop between Ali’s collarbones.

Ali touched it once it was there, still looking like she couldn’t believe it.

“It’s not too much, is it?” Ashlyn asked hesitantly.

“No way,” Ali said with a head shake. “This is amazing. Ashlyn, you’re amazing.”

They shared a slow, perfect kiss after that. Ali put all her thanks into it, Ashlyn put all her love. Either way, they felt it and it felt right.

Eventually, Ali pushed Ashlyn back to the floor, hovering over her as their lips danced together. Ashlyn’s hands moved under Ali’s sweater, smiling as she felt goosebumps arise on her girlfriend’s skin. Just thinking about not having this for a month had Ashlyn tightening her grip on Ali, pulling her closer until their bodies were molding together.

“Wait,” Ali suddenly whispered, pulling back. Ashlyn followed her, continually kissing her, causing Ali to laugh and push her back down to the floor. “Ashlyn, baby, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.”

Ashlyn sighed, allowing her to be pushed away. “Why?”

“Don’t you want your present?”

Ashlyn rolled them over until Ali was under her, and she gave her the most seductive look she could. “I’d rather have something else.”

“Well, that might be half of your present eventually, but no.”

“Why not?” Ashlyn whined, leaning down to kiss her. Ali dodged her though, playfully, and Ashlyn pouted. “You’re being mean.”

“You need to study anyway. Did you forget you have two major tests tomorrow?”

Ashlyn sighed and nodded, pulling back. She and Ali made their way to the bed, Ashlyn was instructed to sit there while Ali grabbed and envelope from her desk. They situated themselves back to how they were before, and Ali slid closer to Ashlyn as she handed her a blank envelope.

“Here.”

With a confused glance towards Ali, Ashlyn shrugged and took it. “And what is this?”

“Open it and see.”

Inside looked like just a normal piece of paper. She held up the folded piece, looking at it strangely. “Paper?”

“Do I have to tell you everything?” Ali teased. “Unfold it, you idiot.”

With a laugh, Ashlyn did as she was told, and her laugh quickly died off. It was tickets. But not concert tickets or game tickets, but they were plane tickets. And not just plane tickets, but tickets to Florida. And at this point, Ashlyn was completely confused, because they left after finals, and there was only one of them.

“Um,” Ashlyn said, not sure what to say. “Did you… did you buy me a plane ticket?” If that was the case, Ashlyn was going to be angry. She hated how Ali always wanted to buy her stuff, because she thought the blonde couldn’t fend for herself. She didn’t need Ali’s help in order to get home, for Christ’s sakes.

Ali could tell what she was thinking. “Ashlyn, it’s not for you.”

That was confusing. Because it was her present, but the ticket wasn’t for her, so what did that…

Her mouth dropped as she turned towards Ali quickly. “Is this… is this for you?”

“My Aunt lives in Florida, Miami actually.” She shrugged and beamed at Ashlyn. “So I’ll be there probably most of the break, at least until New Years, which means I’ll only be a few hours from you. Or, I mean, I can take a road trip to this little place called Satellite beach, where I heard a hot surfer lives and is the talk of the town.”

Ashlyn slowly started to grin as Ali continued to talk. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Ali nodded, leaning close enough for their lips to brush each other but it wasn’t a kiss, not yet. “You can’t get rid of me that easy, Harris. You’re going to be stuck with me over Christmas, whether you like it or not.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“SHE’S COMING HERE?”

Ashlyn pulled the phone away from her ear as she stood at the airport. People were buzzing about, and the place was packed for winter travels and get togethers. Ali and Kyle had earlier flights and were long gone, already heading for Miami for the first bit of break. They had plans to get together from the 20th to early on Christmas Day, and then the siblings were going to head back to Miami, where Tom was flying in to be with them for dinner.

But Ashlyn just now informed her grandma. “Yes, Grandma. Just her and Kyle for four or five days. It’s nothing to freak out over.”

“Oh my god. I have to get the house ready, and plan some stuff for you guys to do and–”

“Grandma, it’ll be fine. We’ll probably just surf and go to the skate park and relax. All you have to do is cook,” Ashlyn laughed.

“Yes, but you know that I don’t take hospitality lightly.”

“I’m fully aware,” Ashlyn chuckled, shaking her head. She found the nearest bench that she could, having already dropped her suitcase off to be loaded onto the plane. It wouldn’t be long until she was on her way home. “But I promise you, Ali only wants to see the house how Chris and I grew up. Nothing fancy. Nothing different.”

“So messy, a little out of control, with a massive amount of mac and cheese and plenty of sand on the carpet with the smell of ocean?”

“Yes,” Ashlyn laughed. “Exactly.”

“I’ll try to hold myself back. Oh! Your brother is here and wants to talk to you.”

“Put him on.”

There was a bit of commotion before Ashlyn finally heard Chris with his classic, “Hey, baby sis,” introduction.

“What’s up, Bud?”

“I heard a little bird is on her way home and that the bird’s girlfriend might be coming too.”

“Maybe?”

“Can’t wait to see you,” he said and she could picture the smile on her brother’s face. “And I definitely can’t wait to meet Ali in person, finally.”

The idea of seeing her family with Ali made her stomach twist in a delightful way. “Yeah, she can’t either. You guys are going to love her.”

“I’m sure we will. She’s been nothing but good for you, and Dad had nothing but positive things to say about her. And Angela can’t wait to have someone to shopping with before Christmas.”

“Trust me, that might be Ali’s favorite part. Lord knows that she’s terrified of surfing. Claims she just wants to watch me instead of learn.”

Chris laughed. “She probably thinks you’ll look hot riding the waves. That’s what sucked Angela in and here we are, now married.”

“Easy,” Ashlyn warned. “Ali and I aren’t getting married anytime soon.”

If Chris was here right now, he’d probably be giving her that disapproving look. “Yeah, but you will. Anyway, have a safe flight sis, and we’ll figure out the details of the visits when you get here, yeah?”

“Yeah. Don’t be too excited to see me.”

“Never.”

Chapter Text

“It’s a shark, Ali. Just touch it!”

“NO! Are you crazy? It could kill me.”

“It’s out of the water. Plus, it’s tiny. It wouldn’t hurt.”

“Ashlyn! Put the fucking shark down!”

“Look.” Ashlyn held it up. It was small, a tiny little thing, no bigger than a catfish at the moment. “I’m going to hold it and you’re going to touch it.”

Chris stepped up, dropping the fishing pole and holding up his camera as he took a picture. “Or she’ll slap you with it like that kid when you were little.”

“That was with a dead fish, thank you very much.”

Ali shook her head and backed away. “I think I’m going to throw up or cry. Or both.”

This was what the entire trip had been like since Ali got there two days earlier with Kyle. He was currently at the skate park, of course, but the Harris siblings and Ali were feeling a beach trip that morning.

Either way, Ashlyn hadn’t been happier. Ali instantly clicked with her brother, and so did Kyle for that fact. They had a tendency to gang up on her, much to her dismay, but she secretly loved the way that Ali’s eyes would light up as they teased her and made fun of her. Chris loved telling stupid childhood stories. And Kyle was getting a hoot out of the hot mess that she used to be.

Her Grandmother though, that was the opinion that mattered. And Ali charmed her instantly. Ashlyn would catch her girlfriend laughing in the kitchen after dinner, helping her grandmother clean. They’d cook together and talk about Ashlyn all day long, and all three of them enjoyed that subject. It was everything that Ashlyn wanted it to be.

But Ali hated sea life, that was for sure. Well, not the water, but just the creatures that lived there in particular. “Ashlyn Michelle Harris, if you bring that thing near me I swear to God I’m going to kill you.”

Chris laughed out loud at that. “Oh my God. She’s so mad.”

“You wouldn’t do it,” Ashlyn claimed, stepping closer to Ali. The feel of the sand under her toes brought a smile to her face, and the sunshine shining off of Ali’s skin was even more beautiful. Ashlyn couldn’t help but love the look of horror either. “You love me too much.”

“Don’t be so confident.”

“Don’t be a liar.”

“I’m not about to get in the middle of a lover’s spat,” Chris said with a smile. “I’m going to help Grandma and Angela with dinner. I’ll see you two lovebirds later.”

As he walked off, Ashlyn finally lowered the shark back to the waves and watched as he took a moment to relax in the water and breathe again before swimming back out. Ashlyn held her hands up to Ali, palms first. “He’s gone, see?”

“You know, where there’s a baby, there’s a momma.”

“Yes. So want to go surfing?” Ashlyn teased with a smile.

“Jerk,” Ali mumbled as she sat down, pointing to the sand next to her. But Ashlyn sat behind in instead, pulling their bodies together as Ali settled against her. “You drive me insane.”

“I can’t help it. You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

“But seriously?” Ali’s hand fiddled with the necklace that Ashlyn gave her. It became a habit recently, a habit that Ashlyn found adorable. “Chasing me with a live shark? He could’ve bitten my fingers off.”

“Nah, he was too gentle for that. And too small.”

Ali shook her head, watching as the sun started to fall over the ocean. They still had about thirty minutes of daylight, but Ashlyn loved this moment. They’d started to do this every day before dinner, letting Grandma fix last minute preparations on her own and sneaking out to watch the sun over the ocean in Ashlyn’s backyard.

Ali sighed contently, wrapping her arms behind her around Ashlyn’s neck. “You know, I don’t want to go back to school.”

Ashlyn chuckled, kissing Ali’s neck where her bikini top didn’t cover, which was a lot of skin to her eyes. “Yeah, how come?”

“I’ve seen how you are here in Florida. I like this Ashlyn.”

“I’m the same person,” she claimed. “Just around more snow and rain rather than sunshine and tan lines. That’s all it is.”

“And I was right about something.”

“That I do look hot while surfing?”

Ali laughed loudly, slapping Ashlyn in the back of the head before curling into her more, a grin on her face. “Well, yes, but that’s not what I was talking about. I was talking to HAO before we left school and she asked me if I was nervous about meeting your family.”

Ashlyn frowned. “Were you?”

“Yes, but that’s not the point. I just knew that if they were anything like you, I’d be fine. And I was right.” Ali turned in Ashlyn’s grasp until she sat across the blonde’s laugh, giving her a long, soft kiss. “I love you and I love your family and I just want to stay here because you’re so carefree and just… you.”

Ashlyn shrugged one shoulder as casually as she could. “Well, you know. I’m pretty fantastic anywhere.”

“Shut up,” Ali chuckled. “Come on, your Grandma probably wants us back in the house.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ali smirked against the kiss Ashlyn gave her as the blonde slowly lied her down, reaching for her towel. The defender barely made it out of the bathroom before Ashlyn was on her, granted Ali couldn’t blame her. It had been weeks since they’d been intimate, and it was starting to wear down on both of them.

But it was still not the right time.

“Baby,” Ali whispered, whimpering when Ashlyn pulled at her towel, instantly opening her up to the blonde. “Ashlyn, babe, we can’t do this now.”

Even though she didn’t want to, Ashlyn stopped and buried her face in Ali’s bare neck. “You know, I’m dying over here.”

“You’ll live.”

Ashlyn pushed herself up on her hands, looking down at Ali. Seeing her like that made that last statement a little less likely. “Will I though? You said the plane ticket was only part of my Christmas present at school. Can’t this be the rest of it?” she teased.

“I can’t have sex with you when your grandmother is,” Ali pointed towards the wall behind them, “You know, right there. What if she heard us?”

“Then be quiet.” Ashlyn kissed her again but it lasted a short second before Ali laughed and pushed her off, causing her to land on the bed with a grown. “Dammit, Ali.”

The brunette stood, completely leaving her towel and twirled her naked body for Ashlyn teasingly. “What?”

The blonde covered her eyes and suppressed the yell she wanted to let out. “You. Are. Going. To. Be. The. Death. Of. Me.”

“Relax. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Yeah, you better.”

Once Ali was dressed, she settled back on Ashlyn’s waist, now leaning over her girlfriend with a beaming smile on her face. “You know I love you, right?”

Ashlyn shrugged. “I might have forgotten by now.”

Ali leaned down, curling herself around Ashlyn as she rested her head on her shoulder. “When does your dad get here?”

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, one of Ashlyn’s favorite times of the year. With Ali, Kyle, their parents (they were coming up for the night, heading to Ali’s Mom’s sister’s house to stay, and then heading back down the panhandle), and Ashlyn’s dad, it was going to be a full house.

Ashlyn thought before answering. “Sometime after lunch. A few hours before your parents get here.”

“You officially get to meet them,” Ali teased. “Are you nervous.”

“Yes.”

The seriousness of her answer caused Ali to look up. “Really? You’ve talked to them plenty of times on skype and facetime. Why are you nervous?”

“This is the official meeting, why wouldn’t I be nervous? I want them to like me.”

“They will,” Ali insisted.

Ashlyn knew that deep down. “Yeah, but I mean, I can only charm so much before my brother calls out my bullshit.”

Ali laughed at that. “Yeah, true. But Kyle and I have talked you up so much that there is no way they won’t like you. All you have to do is live up to our expectations.”

“Yeah, really easy,” Ashlyn teased as she squeezed Ali’s waist. “Thanks for nothing.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn sighed as she hung up the phone with her father. She sat on the couch in the living room, on the late afternoon of Christmas Eve, with Ali snuggled up against her side.

“So?” Ali pressed.

“He’s running late,” Ashlyn said with a groan. “Like a few hours late by the looks of it. He keeps calling to push the time back even more. Your parents might get here before my dad ever does. Apparently something held him up at home and again when he got on the road on top of traffic and all that bullshit. He’s got about twenty minutes before he’s here.”

Ali nodded. “Well, he’ll still get here. Don’t worry.”

“MOM AND DAD ARE CLOSE!” Kyle yelled as he jumped the last step of the stairs into the living room. “They’re almost here!” The couple chuckled as Kyle launched himself on the couch with them, on the opposite side of course. “If Tom was here, everything would be perfect.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that,” Ashlyn teased. “Now would we?”

“Very funny.”

They talked for a while, and the closer the time got to the Krieger family getting there, the more nervous and quiet Ashlyn got. Her mind started racing as her fingers mindlessly danced across Ali’s skin. The siblings were going on about the things that their parents would want to talk about and what they’ve been up to and what else they could do before they leave tomorrow afternoon. But it was too trivial to keep Ashlyn’s mind occupied.

And before she really got herself under control. The doorbell rang.

“MOM! DAD!” Kyle yelled and he jumped up just as Grandma, Chris, and Angela came into the room.

Everyone moved to the living room as the Kriegers made their way into the Harris household. Ashlyn and Ali stood, waiting for Kyle to finish his own introductions of the family members and when Ken noticed Ashlyn and Ali, he stepped up, Deb right on his heels.

“And this is officially Ashlyn,” Ken said, giving her a look up and down. “Turns out, you weren’t catfishing us, huh?”

She chuckled at that, swallowing the little lump in her throat. “Never, sir. What you see is what you get.”

“Well,” he said with a close eye, “you’re certainly not exactly what I expected from our conversations.”

Ashlyn’s eyes widened slightly. “Um, expected, sir?”

Ali couldn’t help the look of horror passing her girlfriend’s face, and she glared at her dad. “Stop,” she told him. “You’re stressing her out.” Ali wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s waist and leaned into her. “And I swear that if you say ‘sir’ one more time, I’m going to throw up.”

“I just–”

“I get it,” Ken interrupted with a now adoring smile. “But really, just call me Ken. I’d appreciate that.”

“Um, sure.” Ashlyn shook his hand when he reached out, and she was even starting to smile as he pulled Deb towards him.

“Honey,” Ken said. “This is our first meeting of official Ashlyn. Official Ashlyn, this is my wife.”

“Oh my goodness!” Deb yelled and Ali barely had time to let go before Deb had the surfer chick wrapped up in a tight hug, yanking Ashlyn down from her taller height. “Kyle and Ali didn’t do you justice on how gorgeous you really are, and neither did the pictures.” She pulled away, giving Ashlyn a once over as well. “Ali, well done. I knew I taught you and your brother well.”

Ashlyn just chuckled, finally figure out why Ali acted the way she did. “Thanks. But you know, none of us compare to someone like you.”

“Ooo,” Deb said with a wag of her finger and a smile. “She’s smooth. I knew I liked this one.”

Ali kissed Ashlyn's cheek. “Me too,” Ali beamed.

With the warmer weather, they all decided that it would be less crowded and worth it to eat the Christmas Eve meal outside. It was amazing how well the families meshed together. Deb and Grandma hit it off perfectly as they cooked and finished up preparations, and Chris and Ken were talking away about architecture, politics, whatever it was they wanted to talk about. Kyle and Angela were busy doing their own thing and probably talking about how hot Tom was, which Ashlyn teases Chris about all the time.

So that left the perfect couple, sitting outside on the patio. Ali was in Ashlyn’s lap as they all talked and laughed. That is, until the doorbell rang.

“I got it,” Chris said, pulling himself away from Ken and heading inside.

Ashlyn figured it was her dad. “I’m going to go with him.” She said to her girlfriend.

Ali hopped off Ashlyn to let her go, giving the blonde a small kiss in front of everyone, which the blonde blushed at and the group laughed, before she headed inside.

What Ashlyn expected to happen was far from it. She and Chris shared a smile as they walked to the door and as soon as it was open, Ashlyn launched herself at her father. She took in the moment, smiling against his neck until Chris spoke.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Ashlyn pulled away, frowning, but behind her father (who looked extremely uncomfortable) was none other than her mother.

She tensed and let her brother pull her back by the arm protectively. She didn’t need protection but they stood together in the doorway, glaring at the woman on the porch. She was dressed in a woman’s suit and skirt, a red and black one, looking like she was of a higher class than everyone around her. Ashlyn’s father sighed and ran a hand through his hair, and Chris told him to get inside. He did, not wanting to deal with this part of the family drama as he just stepped past his kids.

“How did you get here?” Ashlyn demanded.

“I ran into your father with some friends,” her mother said, talking to Ashlyn for the first time in months. “They’re just in the car getting everything else.”

“You’re not welcome here,” Chris stated and pointed towards the road. “Leave. You and your friends can go.”

“Ashlyn will want to see her.”

Ashlyn frowned. “Her?”

They heard footsteps around the front of the house, and Ashlyn waited for whatever this ‘surprise’ person was. What she saw was not a good thing. The first lady, about her mother’s age, was smiling tightly like it was forced holding a casserole dish with a dress on.

The girl with her though, her daughter, was exactly how Ashlyn remembered her. In black jeans, boots, and a funny Christmas sweater, her dark brown hair up in a sock bun, the same amount of make-up and eye shadow as normal, and a small smile on her face, Ashlyn noticed who it was immediately.

And the weight of the world fell on her shoulders as Chris stepped in front of her, blocking all three women from the house. He glared and spoke harshly, “Mom, what were you thinking? Ali is here.”

“Ali?” the brunette asked, obviously intrigued.

“Her girlfriend,” Chris spat. “Now get out of here and have your Christmas somewhere else before I drag you out of here myself.”

“Son–”

“No! We don’t want you here.” He glared at the younger girl as well. “None of us want any of you here.”

Ashlyn couldn’t take it though. It was the first time in months. A time for answers. And time to finally set things straight, and it wasn’t a good time or the right time or a smart move, but Ashlyn stepped to the side. “Chris is right. You two need to go.”

Her mother’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“But Chloe,” Ashlyn continued, never taking her eyes off of the beautiful girl before her. “I want to talk to you.”

Her ex-girlfriend nodded, a nervous smile on her face. “Good, because I want to talk to you too.”

Chris sighed, knowing his sister would react this way. He stepped in front of her, his back to the others as he looked at Ashlyn with caution. “Ash, Ali isn’t going to like this. It’s the Madison thing all over again, but this is serious. It’s your ex-girlfriend. Think about this, baby sis.”

“Ali and I have talked. She knows about Chloe, and this is something I have to do. She'll understand.” Ashlyn stepped forward and grabbed Chloe’s hand, ready to drag her down the street so they could walk and talk.

Chapter Text

They walked for a while without either speaking. Ashlyn’s vest and dress pants were the only things she could look at, and it was hard to concentrate on anything in general. She would sneak a few glances at Chloe, at the first girl to ever break her heart, and she finally couldn’t handle it.

She shoved her hands in her pockets to keep them from shaking and asked, “How did you even end up here?”

“My mother and I ran into your mom recently while shopping in Destin. And I mean, our parents were friends before, you know…”

“Before you dumped me,” Ashlyn clarified. “So what, you guys just became buddy-buddy again? She’s okay with you being gay but not me. Fantastic.”

“I, uh,” Chloe looked nervous and scared and worried. “I actually have a, uh, a boyfriend. Drew.”

The blonde rolled her eyes. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Ashlyn–”

“Don’t even start, Chloe.”

“I wanted to say I was sorry.”

“Well, I don’t want to hear it.” Ashlyn stopped and turned towards her ex, a fire in her eyes that she normally suppressed, but she let it go this time. “I mean, Goddammit, Chloe, you ruined me for a long time. You dumped me when things got hard, after a year of being with you. I sacrificed a ton of shit for you, and then you left because of your image. Sorry isn’t going to cover it.”

“I know.”

“I mean, I just wanted a good dinner with my girlfriend’s family, and you have to ruin even that for me.”

Chloe reached out, but Ashlyn stepped away from her. She sighed. “Look, your mother threatened your dad with divorce if he didn’t bring us along for this dinner thing. It's fucked up, but he didn't want to deal with it now, so here we are. I didn’t want to come and ruin anything for you. My mother made me tag along.”

“You could’ve said no.”

“I know.” Chloe wrapped her arms around her torso. “But… I wanted to see you. Not under these circumstances, and definitely not when your… girlfriend was around, but I still wanted to see you.”

Ashlyn ran a hand through her wavy blond locks. “Why, Chloe?”

She sighed. “Ashlyn, believe it or not, I miss you.”

Ashlyn crossed her arms over her chest, a scowl on her face. “Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“I do. At least the way we used to talk. I could’ve told you anything, and I miss that in my life,” Chloe answered honestly. “I just miss how close we were, mentally. You really were my best friend. I never lied to you about that. I trusted you more than you'll ever know. I still do.”

Ashlyn didn’t know what to say. She kind of missed Chloe in her own way too. Granted, it wasn’t anything physical. But there is something that will always keep you attached to your first love, and Chloe was Ashlyn’s real first love. It was the only love that made sense at the time. But things were different now.

“You should go, Chloe.”

The other girl’s eyes were filled with sadness almost instantly. “Ashlyn–”

“I’ll walk you back to my house, but you need to leave. You’re not welcome in the house, and neither is your mother or mine now. When we get back, you leave. Got it?”

Although Chloe looked like she wanted to object, she knew a pointless fight with Ashlyn when she saw one. She’s one of the few people on the planet that has seen all sides of Ashlyn, and that was one of the most intimidating ideas of having her around. In some ways, Chloe knew Ashlyn better than Ali, just because they’ve had more time together. And the last thing she wanted was for Ali to feel threatened, especially on Christmas.

So Chloe nodded. “Yeah. I got it.”

They turned back and walked quietly, following the same path they already went down. It was starting to get dark now, the early sunset bringing in the darkness and soon the Christmas lights will be turning on. Ashlyn still found a beauty in it, even with Chloe at her side instead of Ali.

She was so focused on how this thing was so messed up, how a great day turned into a disaster. She didn’t even pay attention really to details around her. The footsteps she took were mechanical, and her eyes were hazy as they focused on the walk before her, and before she knew it, they were back.

Ashlyn didn’t wait for Chloe, didn’t hold the door for her like she used to, didn’t even acknowledge her as she walked into the house.

And what she walked into was trouble. Everything was quiet. Everyone was in the living room now, all sitting around randomly, soft Christmas music playing in the background to ease a bit of the tension. Ali’s family was huddled together, looking uncomfortable. Ashlyn’s parents were on the loveseat, not touching but not completely avoiding each other. Chloe’s mom sat in her own chair, playing with her hands. And it looked like Chris had seen a ghost, Angela at his side where he stood by the fireplace. Her hands were running along his arms, and Ashlyn watched as she grabbed his hand, looking worried. Even Grandma looked shocked and speechless.

Ashlyn frowned. “What’s going on?”

As soon as everyone noticed that the ex-couple was back, Ali immediately moved towards Ashlyn. She wrapped her arms around her middle, which Ashlyn happily accepted and placed a kiss on top of her girlfriend’s head.

Chloe and Ali shared a look, not sure what kind of look but a look, before Ali pulled away. But she didn’t answer. Chris did.

“Mom… has some news.”

Ashlyn kept Ali close as she looked around. “News?”

“Bad news.”

“And we care… why?” Ashlyn pressed. She was shocked to see that Chris even looked offended by her harshness, and Ali grabbed her hand to try to calm her.

Chris rubbed his free hand over his face. “Look, little sis, Mom really needs you to hear her out.”

Ashlyn scoffed. “Yeah, because she did that so well with me. If I remember correctly, she called me all kinds of shit when she found out the truth about me, so why should I care about her?”

“Ashlyn,” Ali said calmly, wrapping her hands around her forearm. “Babe, you really need to listen.”

“Why? What’s the point?”

“Because it’s important,” her dad demanded in a big voice. It wasn’t a simple statement, but one with weight and heaviness. And it wasn’t a question. One thing Ashlyn knew was that she couldn’t say no to her dad either, especially when he had his father face on. “Now sit down.”

“Ashlyn,” Chloe chimed in carefully. “It really… it really is important.”

The blonde sighed, but she nodded at that. She grabbed Ali’s hand tightly as they walked into the living room completely, taking the recliner that was empty. She pulled Ali into her lap for her own support before asking, “So what is this about? Because I wanted a good Christmas, not whatever the hell this is.”

Her mother looked at her and she noticed something. That she looked… tired. “Ashlyn–”

“Just spit it out,” Ashlyn snapped. “The sooner you say this, the sooner you can leave. Don’t beat around the bush.”

“Ashlyn,” Ali and Chloe both warned at the same time. This caused a few looks to be directed at Chloe, who looked away in embarrassment. But Ali just squeezed Ashlyn’s hand, choosing to ignore the ex-girlfriend.

Chloe got the hint and shut up, this time officially.

And her mother finally took a deep breath, and she blurted it out.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Two hours later, Ashlyn was still on the beach. It was dark by now. Dinner was probably cold. Everyone had been inside, but even if they came looking, Chris was the only one that could find her, if he even remembered how to get there. They had a secret spot near the beach, about a 3 miles from the house that wasn’t easy to get to and they hadn’t gone since she was maybe 13 or 14. Mixed in with the sand dunes, it was even harder to actually reach in the dark.

But she had been there for a while, staring at the moon, listening to the waves, wondering how a day like this could’ve been twisted and messed up so quickly. She had yet to cry, yet to let the news sink in, and maybe she’d never actually cry about it. Maybe the feelings that she once had for a motherly figure were gone and all she had left was hatred and mistrust. Maybe it was too hard for her to care.

Her phone buzzed, again, but this time it was from Chris. Everyone had been texting and calling, but she wouldn’t answer. Not with her Grandma. Not with Ali. Not with Chris. Certainly not with Chloe. She was avoiding her problems completely.

“Cancer,” she whispered out quietly to no one, trying to wrap her mind around it. “Brain cancer.”

Granted, for a second after her mom had told her, she wanted to say that the woman deserved it. For crying out loud, she didn’t take care of her body at all when it came to drinking. She might have worked out and ate well, but she still was an addict. And even then, her karma was enough to cause something like this. She wasn’t exactly a good person that deserved a long life.

Yet, Ashlyn felt a bit of sadness… somewhere for some reason, she didn’t want her mother to have to go through that. She just wanted to avoid her forever, not have her die. She’d never wish that on anyone.

But it’s not like she’d die instantly. She has a bit of time. Why would her mother come and ruin Christmas intentionally, the first Christmas she has with Ali? She could’ve told Chris and Ashlyn this news after New Year’s! She could’ve said it a month from now. Hell, she could have just never had told them. How fucked up was it that she wanted to do it at this precise moment? It just would’ve been easier if they never had to know.

Ashlyn pulled at her hair as she listened to the waves. Normally, they calmed her down, but nothing was helping at this point. She wouldn’t be surprised if Ali was going to break up with her over this craziness. Her family was a mess, and that’s why Chloe left. Why wouldn’t Ali?

Because Ali isn’t Chloe.

Ashlyn kept repeating that phrase over and over again. They were two separate people. Ali wouldn’t leave. She wouldn’t ditch and pack and go. Ashlyn had to trust that.

It was the only thing that kept her sanity right now.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

She awoke to the sound of her phone ringing, frowning as she noticed a cold breeze coming over her skin. She slowly opened her eyes to see the sun, the actual sun, rising over the waves before her.

Her eyes widened. “Shit.”

As quickly as she could, she reached into her pocket for her phone and groaned when she noticed it was her grandmother. “Hey, Gram, listen–”

“Where the hell are you?”

“Did she answer?” That voice. It was Ali’s. And it was Ali’s when she was extremely worried.

Ashlyn ran a hand through her hair. “Grams, I’m fine. I just fell asleep and–”

“Where?”

“The beach. I was just out here thinking and I guess that I just kind of lost track of time and passed out. I didn’t mean to scare any of you.”

“Chris, Chloe, and Ali were out looking for you for hours. Your girlfriend hasn’t even gotten to sleep. You put her through hell, Ashlyn, and I know this hard for you but she didn't deserve that. She and Chloe refused to stop and they just got back, still panicking. Ashlyn, you frightened the entire family. Your mother–”

“I don’t want to talk about that.” Ashlyn stood, wiping the sand off of her pants and out of her shoes.

Grams sighed. “Fine. Where are you? Ali can come get you.”

“No!” Ashlyn said too quickly, instantly regretting it when she suddenly realized that it was on speaker. “Just…” she wanted to slap herself. “I’ll find my way back. It’ll take me about an hour but I still need some time.”

“Ash?” Ali asked, obviously taking the phone. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just… I’ll be back soon.”

She instantly hung up, running her hands over her face as she walked towards the beach. What did she just do? Why did she feel like this? What was happening?

The idea of seeing Ali right now terrified her. Not like it did before. She didn’t want to see any of them. Ali. Chris. Grandma. Her father. No one. There was a similar reaction when Chloe dumped her, but she didn’t completely shut everyone out. She hadn’t really planned on doing it the first time. Now, even thought she was fully aware of it, she still couldn’t stop it.

So she took her time getting back to the house. An hour turned to two by the time she made it up the back porch from the beach, her hands in her pocket and her eyes to the floor. She walked in to find everyone in the living room, but she ignored them as she walked right by, up the stairs and to her room. No one said a word to her, but she could feel the eyes on her that followed her every move.

Everyone she cared about what finally together (plus some unwanted extras), and yet, she couldn’t bare to be anywhere near them.

But as usual, Ashlyn didn’t get the silence and solitude she longed for. She had crawled into bed and stared at the ceiling for five minutes before she heard footsteps. But she didn’t look as the door opened and closed, didn’t register that there were two people at the door, or who those two people were.

Ali came though and slid on the bed, sitting next to Ashlyn. “Merry Christmas, Ash.”

The blonde hummed in response.

“I told you she’d be like this.” Ashlyn recognized that voice and rolled her eyes at it. “She likes to pout. Always has.”

Ashlyn shot up and glared at Chloe who was leaning against the door casually. The girl looked tired and exhausted, but her attitude was still there as she leaned with her arms crossed. “What are you even doing here still?”

“We wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Well, I am. So you and my parents can get your shit and leave.”

“Ashlyn,” Ali warned. She turned her girlfriend’s head with her hand, looking the blonde in the eyes with sad concern. Ali looked exhausted under the makeup that she tried to use to cover it up. Ashlyn could see through it though. “Come on. You’re not mad at her so don’t start taking it out on her.”

“Why are you defending her?” Ashlyn shot back. “Chloe shouldn’t even be here. She’s my ex-girlfriend.”

“So?” Ali pulled away from Ashlyn, sitting up and looking down on her. “She cares about you. We happened to have a long time to get to know each other while we were out all hours of the night looking for you," she claimed, shoving Ashlyn's shoulder for emphasis about how mad she really was. "So don’t get mad at her because of something none of us have control over. Your mom has cancer, okay? I get that. It’s hard, and both of us,” she gestured to herself and Chloe who still stood in the doorway, “just want to help. So don’t get mad and sassy at either of us just because we love you.”

Although Ashlyn wanted to argue, she didn’t. Ali was right, like she always was, and the blonde flopped back down on the bed, covering her face with her hands. “I’m… I’m sorry. For disappearing and all that. I just had to get away.”

Ali leaned closer, putting her head against her shoulder. They were quiet for a moment as they both tried to calm down. “It’s okay.”

“Some Christmas, huh?”

Ali reached for Ashlyn’s hand and squeezed. “Babe, it’s okay.”

There was so much that Ashlyn wanted to argue. It wasn’t okay. Her mother had cancer. She didn’t even get along with the blasted woman. She ditched Ali for Christmas Eve, leaving her parents and Kyle with an insane family in a place they didn’t know on a frantic search for her. Her ex-girlfriend was there, like this was just a fucked up game for her. How in the world was any of this okay?

But looking Ali’s eyes, Ashlyn saw the forgiveness that she didn’t deserve. She couldn’t take the look and turned away.

Ali noticed, frowning. “Ashlyn–”

“Can I just get some privacy?” she asked, closing her eyes. “Just for a few minutes.”

Her current girlfriend and her ex both exchanged glances but they agreed. Ali gave her a small kiss on the cheek before standing and leaving the room. And once they were gone, Ashlyn jumped up and paced, going over all the possibilities, all the information, everything that had happened recently. There was only one thing that kept popping into her head though.

She looked at herself in the mirror and had the realization. She was a completely mess, her family was a mess, her life was a mess, and Ali didn’t deserve a mess.

Ali deserved better.

The look of Ashlyn’s state annoyed her so much that before she knew it, her fist flew, the glass broke, and the mirror crumbled to the ground, the perfect metaphor for the state of her own life.

Chapter Text

The rest of Christmas break went a bit smoother, but Ashlyn wasn’t the ball of sunshine she used to be. Ali could tell. Whitney could tell. Chloe could tell. Ashlyn could even tell. She wasn’t oblivious to her changes, even though she hated them. It was like she couldn’t stop though.

A few days into classes, Ali finally confronted her about it.

Ashlyn was on Ali’s bed, staring at the ceiling. She tended to do that a lot as the time went on. She spent too much time in her head and not enough in reality. But Ali was sick of it and from where she lied she moved her hands to Ashlyn’s face and pulled their eyes together.

Nothing was said for the longest time. Even though Ashlyn was looking, it was a faded look like she wasn’t really there. “Ash?”

The blonde blinked a few times and shook her head before she finally seemed to come to. “Hey.”

“Are you ever going to let me back in?”

The blonde sighed, closing her eyes but Ali acted instantly.

“Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out, Ashlyn. I need you. You’re not the only one going through things right now, complications and whatnot, and I need you babe. I do.”

The blonde opened her eyes again and this time, their eye contact lasted a split second before Ashlyn’s lips were on Ali’s fast and hard and distracting.

Neither was sure how long it had been since they’d been this close like this. The silence was ruining their physical aspect as well, and Ashlyn hadn’t given Ali much more than a small peck on the lips when they parted for classes. This was the first time they had really gotten into anything. Even at Ashlyn’s house before Christmas, they couldn’t do much because of Grandma.

And now, Ashlyn had lost all control. She wasn’t sure what came over her. Normally, she kept her distance because she didn’t want to do anything to hurt Ali worse. This time, it was like the floodgates opened and everything she’d been suppressing burst through.

At the feeling, Ashlyn felt herself start to get overwhelmed. A tear broke through, no matter how hard she tried to keep it at bay and no matter how hard she kissed Ali to distract herself.

But Ali felt it fall to her cheek, and her hand brushed over Ashlyn’s cheek. She pulled away. “Ash, you’re crying. Wha–”

The blonde flipped her to her back and slid over Ali, kissing her harder and holding her hands, pressing them into her sheets. She needed control to get through this. She had to hide how much she was fighting herself, and Ali was the perfect distraction. This was the girl that Ashlyn could get lost in, could put her all into. And she needed that. She didn’t need questions. No interrogations. She needed to be kissed, to be loved, to feel loved, something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Their kissing wasn’t anything heated or crazy, but it wasn’t slow and sensual. They were talking with their movements, and Ashlyn squeezed Ali’s hands more and more as the time went on. She felt herself giving way, felt the emotions coming over her, and she couldn’t let it happen.

Before Ali could even realize what was going on, Ashlyn ripped her shirt off and pulled at Ali’s, dropping them both to the floor. Her lips were all over Ali’s soft skin, moving across her neck and her chest, anything to keep Ali’s mind foggy. But unfortunately, it didn’t work completely.

“Ashlyn–”

She ignored her and reached between Ali and the sheets for the clasp of her bra.

But Ali grabbed her wrist quickly. “Ash. Stop. Please.”

With a defeated breath, Ashlyn collapsed on top of Ali. She was breathing hard, not saying a word, and neither had moved where Ashlyn’s hand gripped the strip of clothing on her back. Eventually, Ashlyn let go and fell to Ali’s side, covering her face in her hands as she felt the tears start to threaten her eyes.

Ali pulled Ashlyn close as the blonde let the tears fall. And she cried. For the first time, she cried about her mother. For the first time, she cried about her fears. She cried about the prospect of losing Ali, about her family, about it all. For weeks she had held it in, and now, she’s letting it all out.

And the brunette never loosened her grip for a second. She held her until Ashlyn had cried herself to sleep, leaving Ali wide awake and wondering:

What is really going on in Ashlyn’s head?

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Hours later, in the early hours of the morning, Ashlyn awoke. Her eyes were heavy and burning, but she was awake and still in the protective arms of Ali.

She thought that the defender was asleep. So when she moved to get up and Ali spoke, she froze.

“I need you to talk to me, Ashlyn. I know you don’t want to, but I need you to if we’re going to figure anything out.”

She knew that Ali was right, but she didn’t know how to put it into words.

She slowly sat up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands. Ali slid behind her, wrapping her arms around her and pressing her forehead into the keeper’s back as she koala’d her way around Ashlyn.

And finally, minutes later, Ashlyn spoke. “You deserve better than my high maintenance problems, Ali.”

“No.” Ali kissed her shoulder. “I don’t care about that stuff. You know that.”

“I know but I can’t stop thinking about it. Between Chloe, my mom, the cancer, the drama, I’m like a ticking time bomb. And now that Chloe is back in my life as a constant, which you tolerate but I now you’re upset about, it’s causing a strain on our relationship.”

Ali took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m upset about Chloe like I was about Madison, but times change and people change. And honestly, Chloe isn’t that bad. I mean, I’d almost call her a friend of mine at this point too. You’re not the only one she talks to, and she checks up on you through me when you cut her off too. I’m not worried about Chloe. And I know you love me, but Chloe has a connection to your mom that I don’t have. I get that. But that’s not what is really bothering you, is it?”

“Not really.” Ashlyn sighed and picked her head up, looking at the other bed where Heather should be. “She’s?...”

“With her boyfriend,” Ali confirmed. “So, don’t change the subject.”

“Right.” Ashlyn placed her hands over Ali’s arms on her stomach. “I was – the thing is – I can’t – God, I’m bad at this.”

Ali chuckled. “Take your time.”

“You’re… good to me. Really good. And I appreciate that and I love you for it. But everything that’s happened has been too much lately. I just… I can’t find a way to cope. I can't figure out what will help me and what to do just... understand.”

“Anything I can do?”

“I’m just thankful you haven’t run off.”

Ali squeezed her body tighter, staying silent. Ashlyn felt that the silence meant something, but she was too scared of the possibly implications to really think about it.

After a few minutes, Ali spoke. “You know, even when people run, that doesn’t mean it’s forever. Chloe is back in your life and helping you after she took off, I’ll suck it up and deal with it. We’ll find a way, Ashlyn. No matter what. Shits going to get thrown at us left and right, and we’ll find a way through it in the long run. Okay. I’m never going to just run off and leave you behind forever.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Ashlyn took a deep breath. “That’s amazing. My ex-girlfriend is… like… my friend and you’re okay with it?”

“Like I said, she’s kind of my friend too,” Ali chuckled. “And you deal with John, sort of, so...”

“But you deal with Madison.” Ashlyn turned her head, looking at Ali through puffy eyes. “That’s already even. Chloe makes it complicated. But she doesn’t change how I feel about you. She never will.”

Ali smiled and leaned forward, pressing her lips to Ashlyn’s lightly. “That’s all I need to hear. And if you ever want to talk about everything else, you know that you just have to ask.”

“I know,” Ashlyn nodded. “I know.”

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Weeks passed and Ashlyn started to liven up. She used school and soccer to get her mind off of life outside of her school. Ali was a great distraction and a perfect girlfriend, taking her all kinds of different places and running about. It kept Ashlyn from really thinking of stuff and just being her happy self.

They were even getting back to their old selves in some way. Ashlyn was teasing people again, getting into stupid trouble in classes. Her grades didn’t start great at the beginning of the semester, but she was starting to move them back up. Coach was happy with her playing progress. She was on her way to be one of the best keepers on the team, maybe in the country.

And her relationship with Ali was starting to look up. They didn’t kiss as a distraction or anything anymore. They kissed because they wanted to, because Ali wanted Ashlyn, because Ashlyn wanted Ali and that’s the way it was supposed to be. It was the best way it could be. Ashlyn was finally going to be happy and stop thinking about her problems all the time.

Except in the training room, one day, where everything came crashing down… again.

Ashlyn bit her lip and tried not to yell as Ben twisted her shoulder, yet again, giving her a small smile.

“You enjoy this torture,” Ashlyn groaned out.

Ben shook his head. “You just think I do.”

She rolled her eyes and finally was able to breath properly when he dropped her arm, allowing her to sit back up to be iced.

Ali, who was standing by her side watching the whole thing, just laughed at her. “You’re such a baby, you know,” she chuckled, running a hand over Ashlyn’s back.

“I am not.”

“You are too. You act like this big and bad chick and yet, a little twist of the shoulder and you’re ready to cry.”

Hope, who happened to be the only other person in the training room, burst out laughing but immediately covered her mouth. “Sorry, but Ali has a point.”

Ashlyn flicked her off.

“Oh, don’t be mad,” Hope shot back. “It’s just the off season anyway. Focus on healing that mess of shoulder, not making it worse during small sided pick-up games.”

“She’s got a point.”

Ashlyn gaped at Ali. “Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“Some girlfriend.”

Hope stood with a laugh. “I’m leaving before I get in the middle of a lover’s argument.”

Ben came back almost as soon as Hope had left, putting the ice on Ashlyn and wrapping it up. She hated the feeling against her bare skin, and hated in when the weather was as cold as it was too. It just made her shiver for the next thirty minutes, feeling like she’s getting hypothermia. As soon as it touched her, goosebumps erupted.

Ali laughed at Ashlyn’s face. “You’d think that you were killing her,” she told Ben.

“She’s like that all the time. It’s ridiculous.”

“Well if the ice wasn’t so cold…”

Ben and Ali both looked at each other and laughed. “Ashlyn,” Ali said, “Ice is supposed to be cold, honey. I thought you learn that kind of stuff in Chemistry.”

Ashlyn glared at her as Ben pulled away, successfully wrapping her shoulder. “Ali, I’m breaking up with you.”

The brunette smiled and kissed her cheek. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Ben shook his head, crossing his arms. “Well, good to know that you two agree after that talk then.”

Ashlyn frowned. “Talk?”

She felt Ali tense but before the brunette could say anything, Ben spit out the words that Ashlyn never expected to hear.

“Yeah, her transfer,” Ben said. “The team was talking about it earlier. She was worried about the strain of a long distance relationship.”

Ashlyn slowly swallowed, looking at Ali with suddenly cold and confused eyes. “What transfer, Ali? What's he talking about?”

The other girl looked blindsided and at a loss for words. She gave Ben a terrifying look and his eyes widened as he realized he just fucked up. So he backed away, almost running to his office. But the silence and tension remained.

Ali reached for Ashlyn’s hand. “Can we talk about this back at my room?”

There were so many reasons why Ashlyn knew it was a bad idea, but she nodded. “Fine.”

OOOOOOOOOOO

They walked in to find Heather and Pinoe on the couch. Both players beamed when they walked in, but at the looks on their faces, they dropped the smiles instantly. They both realized that Ashlyn had found out. And Ashlyn soon became aware that she had been left in the dark by her own girlfriend.

Once in Ali’s room, Ashlyn couldn’t hold it anymore. “Were you ever planning on telling me or were you just going to leave?”

Ali slammed the door, pressing her forehead against it. “Okay, first, I’m not leaving you.”

“Sounds like it.”

“I’m not.”

“Then what would you call it?”

Ali sighed and grabbed Ashlyn’s hand, dragging them to her bed. They both sat down, but once there Ashlyn pulled her hands out of Ali’s.

“Just spit it out, Ali.”

“It was never a plan for me to stay here all four years,” she confessed. “Penn State has always been my dream school, and that will never change. In fact, Heather and I had always known we wanted to transfer after our sophomore year. That was always the plan, Ashlyn. Always has been, always will be.”

“Does Coach know?”

She nodded. “Jill has known since we came as freshmen. She took us on for two years. It was always something that Heather and I wanted. That’s why we became so close when we got here. And I never planned on meeting someone like you and… and falling in love with you. It almost convinced me to stay.”

Ashlyn dropped her head to her hands. She hated that last statement. If Ali really loved her, she wouldn’t leave. But that was selfish on her part. So if she really loved Ali, she should want her girlfriend to go to her dream school. She’d want her to get in, to apply, to play. But Penn state was far. Not across the country, but far enough. Ashlyn didn’t do well with distance. She just didn’t.

Her head was begging her to think correctly though. She needed to process everything. Finally, after weeks of struggle with her mom and everything, she had gotten back on track. And now, it was all coming back down again.

“So, you’d leave after this semester?”

“Yes.”

“To play at Penn State?”

“Basically.”

Ashlyn lifted her head, rubbing her face before looking at Ali with exhaustion in her eyes. “Ali, I don’t do distance well.”

Instantly, Ali’s hands were on her arms. “That doesn’t mean it won’t work. I told you that we’ll work through anything, and we will. This included.”

“It’s a seven hour drive. How does that work for anybody?”

“Ash–”

“And you never even told me about this. You were keeping it a secret from me. Everyone knew from the looks of it, probably for months, maybe from the beginning, but you couldn’t even be bothered to tell the person that this affects the most?”

Ali looked defeated and ashamed. “I wanted to tell you. But with everything going on, I didn’t want to add onto it. We had a weird relationship in the beginning. I was supposed to just be your mentor. But then, you charmed me and I didn’t want to ruin it. I was selfish and as time went on, it was harder and harder to attempt to bring it up. You were finally starting to recover from break and I didn’t want to mess it up.”

“You did a great job with that.”

“Babe–”

Ashlyn shook her head. “You never even told me you considered something like this. We’ve been together for months, Ali. Why didn’t you say something like this? Sure, we may not have been the closest in the beginning, but just a hint would’ve been nice. I’m completely blindsided because you couldn’t even mention it.”

“I just couldn’t bring myself to.”

“Wow, great excuse,” Ashlyn rolled her eyes.

Ali seemed to have tears forming in hers. “Ashlyn, please, I didn’t want this to cause a major problem.”

“It’s a four hundred mile problem! You don’t get that!”

“We can get through it.”

“No. We can’t.”

The thing is, Ashlyn had never been one to lie. She’d tell the truth, and the truth was that she wasn’t built for distance. She never had been. She has to see that person, has to be with them and hold them. It hurt worse to see them through a screen than to lose them. Maybe she was crazy, but that’s just how she operated.

And that made something extremely obvious to her. There was no point in postponing the inevitable.

“I need to go.” Ashlyn jumped up and headed towards the door, not saying another word as Ali called after her. But she slammed the door and was met with two worried expressions.

Pinoe jumped off the couch as Heather headed towards Ali’s room. And she grabbed Ashlyn and pulled her outside. “Come on.”

Ashlyn followed the shorter blonde, kind of dazed about what just happened. She didn’t even know where they were going, didn’t register the cold, didn’t really think much until Pinoe pulled her into her car. Ashlyn slid inside, but didn’t talk. Instead, she rested her head on the dash silently.

Finally, after what seemed like forever. Pinoe asked. “Ash, how bad was it?”

She didn’t answer for the longest time. “I think… we broke up.”

“Ash–”

“Just drive, Megan,” she begged. “Just drive.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Days turned into weeks that turned into months. And before anyone knew it, May 12th was upon them, and graduation had arrived.

Ashlyn sat in the lawn in the summer heat, nothing but shorts and a tank top with a snap back on as people ran about. Some were in robes, doing last minute things. Some people had finished clearing out their rooms. Others were just waiting to watch their friends walk across the stage, ready to move on with their lives.

But she just sat there, watching it happen.

Things around campus hadn’t been the same since that night that Ali told her she was leaving. She got accepted. Jill released her to talk to another coach. The coach offered her and Heather the perfect amount of money, and they took it together. So she was off. Today was as much a send-off for those two as it was for the seniors.

Saying goodbye was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done.

“What are you doing out here?”

Ashlyn looked behind her to see Hope, graduation gown in hand as she walked towards her. She looked amazing in her dress, as always, and Ashlyn saw her family and her boyfriend, Jeremey, off in the distance by the walkway.

“Just getting mentally ready, you know?”

“Believe me, I know.” Hope took the spot next to Ash, both keepers unsure what to say but the older one took a shot at it. “I know that today is going to be hard for everyone. It always is. But it’s especially hard for you for many reasons.”

“Look, Hope–”

She held up her hand. “Just don’t let her leave without saying goodbye. You guys might not be together, but I know you still care about her. You think no one sees you watching out for her, or how upset you got all spring season whenever someone took her out on the field. Those things don’t go unnoticed. And you’re perfectly fine on talking terms. So don’t run from this problem, Ashlyn. Face it and it’ll work out in the end.”

Instead of fighting, Ashlyn nodded at one of her many mentors. Hope had been there in a way that no one had ever been before, and she couldn’t help but thank her. “I will.”

“So I’ll see you afterwards with the team?” she asked.

“Definitely.”

After Hope left, Ashlyn was back to her thoughts. Over the few months, she sometimes wished that she would’ve tried it with Ali. Spring Break would’ve been better if she had someone to fall back to. Shen missed their study dates and spontaneous make out sessions to distract each other. She missed the talks, the fun dates, the touches. She missed everything.

It took everything in her sometimes to convince herself that it was better this way. She had to detach now instead of hold on. Whitney helped her through it, sometimes agreeing and sometimes not with how Ashlyn was handling it. But she had to handle it. Especially now.

Maybe it would’ve been different if they were from the same home town. But Ashlyn was from Florida. Ali was from Virginia. Ashlyn stayed in North Carolina. Ali was going to Penn State. It was too much distance all of the time. They might as well just be pen pals.

Her phone eventually went off, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Hey. Your stuff is ready. We’re leaving in twenty. – Whitney

I’ll be back soon. Thanks – Ashlyn

You going to be okay? – Whitney

I hope so – Ashlyn

She sighed. Yeah, she hoped that she would be, but she wasn’t sure how well it was going to work.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The team all gave Ashlyn and Whitney a look when they finally arrived. It was weird, so many of them were missing from the bleachers because they were back stage in robes getting ready to walk across and get their diplomas. It was like they’d instantly gotten smaller, and the feeling made Ashlyn’s heart sink.

But it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as when Ali and Ashlyn made eye contact, an empty seat by the brunette. The team watched worriedly as Ashlyn nodded and made her way up, taking the spot by Ali.

Ali looked amazing. Her dress was perfect and fit her body well. Her brown hair curled. And Ashlyn had to swallow a lump in her throat when she noticed a particular necklace dangling from her neck, the diamonds along the ‘A’ dancing across her collarbones.

Ashlyn just took the seat, trying to ignore everything in her head.

“Hi.”

Ashlyn gave her a small smile. “Hey.”

“So this is it.”

“Yeah.”

Ali reached over and grabbed Ashlyn’s hand. “Do you think after graduation… we could talk? Maybe discuss a few things?”

There was a crevice in her heart, but Ashlyn knew which side she was standing on. She nodded, looking down at their joined hands before meeting Ali’s eyes. “Yeah. Of course.”

The ceremony itself was long and tiring. The team jumped up and yelled for each of their passing teammates on stage. Carli. Boxxy. Abs. Captain. Hope. And a few others. It was hard to believe they were leaving this place behind.

Ashlyn and Ali held hands the entire ceremony. They got a few looks from the team, but neither really wanted to let go and neither really knew what it meant. Ashlyn thought she heard HAO ask Ali what was going on, but Ali just shrugged and shook her off. And Ashlyn pretended not to hear.

Finally, the Dean of the University stood up to the podium in his suit and long, white hair. He made his speech, preparing to close the ceremony. Ashlyn’s heart started racing.

Because that meant she was saying goodbye to everyone, including Ali.

It was like Ali knew it because she squeezed Ashlyn’s hand tighter, taking a deep breath.

“Class of 2015! Congratulations! You did it!” Everyone stood and yelled, and Ashlyn and Ali finally let go of each other in order to clap and yell.

“Let’s go!” Whitney yelled, grabbing Ashlyn’s shirt. “We have to get pictures!”

Ashlyn was yanked away and down the bleachers. All she got from Ali when she looked back was a look, but that look held a promise to talk. So with that in mind, she allowed herself to be pulled away and into the mass of people for pictures and finally memories of UNC.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“EVERYBODY IN!” Abby yelled her duties one last time as they all piled into the two vans.

This was a tradition, Ashlyn learned. On graduation day, immediately afterwards, they would go to the waterfall one last time as a team. No blindfolds, no tricks, no freshmen anymore because Ashlyn and the rest were officially sophomores. This time, they learned everything.

They loaded into the vans. Ashlyn contemplated getting into the same van as Ali, but it filled up quickly and Whitney directed her towards Christie’s van instead. She wasn’t sure if that was God telling her something or if that was just her bad luck coming back for her again.

At least this time, she saw the drive. She saw the mountain, the route they took, the dirt roads and the paths. She was sure the vans wouldn’t even make it, but sure enough they did. And the team all piled out quickly, yelling and joking as most of them took off towards the cliff and jumped in, clothes and all.

Ashlyn chuckled as she watched, leaning against the van with her hands in her jeans. She didn’t bother to bring a bathing suit, wanting to spend her time talking to everyone before they leave instead of swimming and disappearing. She played around with Tobin and a few on the field. But her time was running out and she really wanted only one thing.

Apparently, Ali wanted the same. She walked up to Ashlyn in the middle of their pickup game and grabbed her hand. “Come with me.”

Without a thought, Ashlyn did. They didn’t talk as they moved through the woods. No words were said. Just the holding of hands as Ali led her about the leaves and grass, until they emerged across the circle lake, back behind the waterfall again.

Ali sat them down in the same spot they sat the first time Ashlyn was brought here. She remembered swimming across the lake, remembered Ali following her, joking and laughing on their own. It was a completely different atmosphere now.

Ali leaned towards her, resting her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder. “I wish this wasn’t goodbye.”

Ashlyn sighed. “It might not be forever,” she said, trying to be optimistic.

“Can we still talk? If I need you, can I call you?”

“Always, Ali.” Ashlyn squeezed the other girl’s knee. “I know that when I first reacted to the news, it was bad. But we’re friends now. We can talk whenever you need. I’m just like Kelley and Pinoe. If you need me, I’m a phone call away.”

There was a pause. “Then… how come we can’t make it work between us?”

That was a question Ashlyn didn’t want to answer.
So Ali continued. “Because I want to be with you, Ashlyn. I loved you then, and I still do. And that may not ever change. No matter how many people I might be with, it may never change.”

“It’s the timing, Ali.” Ashlyn ran her free hand through her hair. “I mean, I’m a sophomore. I want to live my life here without having to worry about you there. I can’t do that. I can’t always be thinking about you if I’ll never get to see you. This past Christmas, we barely saw each other and it was a disaster when we did. This summer, I’ll have a job in Florida. You’ll have your internship in Chicago. We won’t have time to talk, much less physically see each other. The distance makes it hard. And timing really is everything.”

“Effort is everything,” Ali corrected. And although it was snappy, she backed off. “But I get it. I’ve started to understand your point of view too.”

“I’ll always love you, Ali.”

“So, if by some miracle we end up somewhere, together, outside of college… would you give this another shot?”

Ashlyn chuckled and instantly said, “Absolutely, without a second thought.”

“I can’t wait to kick your ass for a National Championship though,” Ali teased, with a small smile. “You have to admit that’ll be interesting.”

They both turned and smiled at each other with the teasing tones, but Ashlyn’s eyes darted down to Ali’s lips. She couldn’t help it, and before she knew it, they were pressed together in the goodbye kiss that Ashlyn never wanted but she couldn’t let Ali leave without having it.

They didn’t mean to get carried away, but Ashlyn was quickly on her back with Ali straddling her hips. Neither had been in a relationship since they broke up. Neither had even kissed anyone else. There were parties but they never drank that much. They never put themselves in that situation. There was no desire for anyone else.

And now, Ashlyn was craving it.

Ali was breathing shallow when Ashlyn’s hands moved up her sides, slowly bring up Ali’s tank top. “Ash?”

“Hmm?”

Ali pulled back and looked Ashlyn in the eye. “I need you. Just one more time. Before I go. It’s probably wrong and fucked up in so many ways, but please. Just…” she pressed her forehead to Ashlyn’s, the tension in her body as tight as a rubber band. “Please love me. Let me love you one more time.”

Ashlyn leaned up, their mouths hovering inches from each other as Ashlyn kissed her once and pulled back. “Ali, are you sure you can’t stay?”

The brunette smiled sadly, only kissing Ashlyn even harder.

Their bodies aligned perfectly, like they always had. Their lips knew each other so well. They found each other’s spots. There hadn’t been a huge amount of time that they’d been this intimate, but it didn’t take them long to figure each other out.

And so they did it. Under the waterfall where they first became friends, where Ashlyn first discovered the beauty of Ali Krieger, where Ali first found out the difficulties in Ashlyn’s past, they kissed and touched and memorized every detail of each other.

And Ashlyn did as Ali asked, and loved her with her whole heart before she knew that she had to say goodbye, if only for the time being.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ashlyn made it to her house in Florida some time later without breaking down yet. Chris was smart enough not to ask on the ride home, which she was thankful for. She didn’t want to talk about it. She just wanted to be outside by the waves without a thought. She wanted to play soccer and surf, keep her mind off of the turmoil in her heart, off of the pain, the frustration, the longing.

So she dropped her stuff in her room, changed into her swim trunks and her bikini top and she took off for the waves.

Surfing had a way of calming her and relaxing her. Every wave she rode brought her back to the beauty of the world instead of the mess that she was originally dealing with on land. She wasn’t sure how long she was out there, but it had to be hours.

Her hands were ghosting over the water, way out to see where the waves were barely brushing across her. It was a moment of peace that she craved for constantly. But it was broken when she looked up to shore.

With a sigh, Ashlyn paddled back in towards the sand. She wasn’t feeling as light as she once was, but she had to deal with it. She caught a wave, moving across the water until she finally made it to shore. She stripped off the band on her ankle, sticking her board in the sand as she walked toward her guest, plopping down next to her.

“What are you doing here?” Ashlyn asked.

Chloe flipped her hair to her other shoulder, wrapping her arms around her knees as she drew them in. “I never thought I’d be here for these reasons, I can promise you that.”

Ashlyn chuckled. “So, how is Drew?”

“He’s good,” Chloe answered. “Really good. He just got back from school too so I finally get to see him every day. Thank God. The distance was killing me.”

Ashlyn’s throat tightened at the mention of that hellish idea. “How far away is his school from yours?”

“Two hours. It’s not bad, but it still sucks. We only get to see each other on weekends, but it is working and it’s worth it.” She paused, looking at Ashlyn. “But do you really want to talk about my relationship?”

“Better yours than mine.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “That’s why I’m here, Ashlyn.”

Ashlyn dropped her hands behind her, leaning back on them. “Please, enlighten me.”

“Ali texted me.”

Ashlyn tensed at that, all of their memories from yesterday flooding back to her. “Okay?”

Chloe turned towards Ashlyn, sitting Indian style with a knowing look on her face. “You can’t hide anything from me, Ashlyn Harris. We dated for over a year, remember?”

“Not really,” she answered. “What’s your name again?”

Chloe punched her playfully. “Come on, be serious.”

“Okay, okay.” Ashlyn sat forward, playing with the sand in her hands. “I mean, whatever you’re thinking is probably right so should I even try to fight it?”

“So you guys did have goodbye sex.”

“It – it wasn’t just sex.”

“It never is with you,” Chloe said.

This was something that Ashlyn was thankful for. Since Christmas, Chloe and Ashlyn had an understanding. They had kind of figured it out, being friends. Chloe loved Drew. Ashlyn loved Ali. It didn’t mean that they couldn’t still be close though. Despite what the other thought, they still really worked and cared for each other and knew each other really well. It was something that must have just stuck, even after the time apart. And after the breakup, Ashlyn needed that stability now more than ever.

Ashlyn looked up at the sun, closing her eyes and taking in the heat. “So… she texted you?”

“I figured you’d want to read it.”

She hesitated, but she took Chloe’s phone anyway. After laughing at a sext from Drew she probably wasn’t supposed to see, she opened the message from Ali.

Hey, Chloe. I know it’s been a while since we talked, but I just had to write this down and get it out. There were some things that I couldn’t say to Ashlyn that I want you to tell her. First, I love her. Like eternity love her. At least, I think I do and I’m pretty sure I know myself well enough. Something happened between us yesterday, and I have a feeling that it won’t be the last time I see her or talk to her. And I’m grateful for that because I do need her in my life. But I was hoping that you could find the right words to tell her that… I’m going to wait. I will. It terrifies me, but I want to wait until the timing is right for me and Ashlyn. And if that never happens, and we both end up with other people, so be it but it will never be better than what we had and she needs to know that. I didn’t want to freak her out, and I’m hoping that you can explain it to her. And I want you to take care of her. I talked to Whitney, but you will have a past with Ashlyn that connects you in a way that Whitney and I can’t. I hate that, but I’m also grateful for it at the same time. So thank you, for everything. You’re nothing like I thought you were when I first heard about you. So… you know, thanks. For being her friend, and for being mine. Take care of her until the timing is right so I can do the same. – Ali

Ashlyn handed the phone back to Chloe and lied back, covering her face in her hands as the words washed over her. “I’m not sure if that’s what I wanted to hear or not, honestly. That’s a lot to take it in.”

“I’ll shorten for you: She loves you, Ashlyn. And she’s going to wait for you, however long that takes for you two to get your shit together.” Chloe pulled one of Ashlyn’s hands away from her face, looking down at her like the best friends they were over a year ago. “The question is: will you?”

Ashlyn just sat and stared out into the ocean for the longest time. Then, she finally chuckled to herself. She knew the answer. It was completely obvious.

Chapter Text

“Alright! Let’s go ladies! Push it!”

Ali was exhausted. Her whole body hurt, despite her training over the summer. She had pushed herself to the limit every day with personal trainers in order to get back in time for pre-season. It was her senior year, and she wasn’t about to miss it because of an ACL injury. No way.

Heather was right in front of her, but Ali crossed the line with plenty of time.

They both put their hands on their knees, trying to catch their breath. Heather managed first. “Well, two miles in eleven minutes, thirty-four seconds. We did it.”

“That was hell.”

“But it’s done.” Heather stood straight, putting her hands on her head, instructing Ali to walk with her. Their team were all stretching and trying to catch their breath, a few people struggling to really do that. But most of them were in amazing shape. She was proud how far her team had come.

It was at the water break, when everyone was quiet, that Heather leaned towards Ali and lowered her voice. “I know you don’t really want to talk about it, but did you see the picture that Pinoe put up on Instagram?”

Ali sighed. Of course she saw it. She still followed everyone. And that mean that she still saw Ashlyn in all of those pictures.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, HAO,” she said.

The other girl nodded and dropped the subject.

“Hey, Ali! HAO!”

They both looked up to find Emma, a junior and one of Ali’s good friends now, waving them over. “Hey, we’re all going out to dinner tomorrow for Carm’s birthday. It’s preseason and all that, but Coach said that we can at least head out to that Italian restaurant for a team dinner.”

“He’s giving us the night off during preseason?”

“No, early practice,” Emma explained. “You two in?”

“Of course,” HAO answered as Ali nodded. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Sounds good. We’re all carpooling, so Ali, if you could drive…”

Ali chuckled and nodded. “I’m on it.”

“Perfect!”

“Ladies!” their coach yelled, waving them back. “We still have thirty minutes. Breaks over!”

They groaned but jogged out. This team was similar in the athletic experience to Ali’s prior years at UNC. She liked that and hated it at the same time. Jill and Marcus were completely different coaches, of course.

Fitness was still a huge importance, which Ali took seriously. Last fall, in the NCAA tournament, she tore her ACL. Her first semester and she tore it. Great. But she got an opportunity to study abroad in Germany, and she worked it out with Marcus to rehab there and train before coming back this summer. The strength and conditioning training and Germany was amazing, and the experience even more so. It meant the world to her, and it was something she’d never forget.

And now, the team had seen her progress. She still has to finish out her career in a brace that drives her up the wall, but she’d get over it. She had to.

If they wanted to get the championship game, she had to be at her full performance. And that was the goal this year. They didn’t make it last year, getting beat in the elite eight. Not again. This year, it was game on.

---------------------------------

Lunch that afternoon was amazing. All they had was subs, but the team was on a buzz about Carm’s birthday the following day and everyone was just alive with energy at a new year. They were two days into preseason, just starting to figure out the freshmen, and it was amazing how quickly everything was falling into place.

“So Ali!” most of the team turned when a sophomore, Crystal Dunn, yelled at her. “You have to tell us about Germany. I know we talked to you while you were there, but we need a rehash for the past 7 months immediately.”

Instantly, she was bombarded with questions.

“How was Marcus’s friend, Chris? Was he a good trainer?”

“How was the countryside? Did you visit anywhere cool?”

“Did you meet anyone special?”

“Let me see the tattoos!”

Ali rolled her eyes at the questions but stuck her arm out for the last one, showing off her ‘Liebe’ tattoo.

“What does it mean?” Stephanie asked.

“Love,” Ali explained. She left out the part where she thought of Ashlyn the whole time. She remembered joking around with Ashlyn, explain how to say ‘I love you’ in German and her girlfriend had run the expression into the ground. Ali can never hear it and not think of the blonde. HAO knew the reason behind the tattoo, but Ali always told everyone else something different. “I think the meaning is pretty obvious.”

“What about the other one?”

Ali knew that was coming. But she just laughed and pulled the left side of her shirt up, showing off the next tattoo. At this point, the eyes of the entire team and a few others from the boy’s team were on her, staring at the ink.

Carm reached out and touched it. “I haven’t seen it in person yet.”

Her hands were cold, but Ali pretended not to be affected.

“So what does that one mean?” Crystal asked.

“Wait,” Stephanie called. “Say it in German first.”

Ali rolled her eyes and HAO just laughed. “Okay, fine. It says: Man sieht nur mit dem Herzen gut, das Wesentliche ist für die Augen unsichtbar which means ‘one sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes’.”

The whole team was staring at Ali’s side. Some whispered in awe and wows, mainly because of the size of the thing. Germany changed a lot of things about Ali, and her skin was one of them for sure. But her friends all loved it, and she wouldn’t trade these tattoos for the world. Kyle sure loved it too. He wasn’t the only tattoo freak in the family anymore.

Erin McLeod, their goalkeeper, gave Ali a genuine smile. “I’m proud of you, Ali. I love it. It definitely suits you too.”

“It’s nothing like your half sleeve,” she said, dropping her shirt and going back to her food.

Ella, Erin’s girlfriend, smiled. Erin just said, “Yeah, well, they’re both badass in their own way.”

“What made you get it?” Ella asked.

Ali thought about her answer. She wished that HAO could find a way to take this attention away from her, but she knew that she had to answer her team’s questions. These people were her school family, so it had to be done.

Ali played with her glass, trying to think of the words. “Um, well, I mean, the quote was from a book I read in Germany. And it just reminded me of some stuff and really touched my heart, I guess. The fact that it was German made it better too, because everything is more beautiful in a different language.”

The team nodded, but Crystal asked, “Does it have anything to do with Ashlyn?”

Everyone knew about Ali’s ‘relationship’ with Ashlyn. The team noticed it last year in season when there was question if Penn State would have to play UNC in the National Tournament. Neither team made it far enough, of course, both losing in their semi-final games, but that question was still up this year.

Thankfully, Heather dealt with most of the questions. She didn’t want Ali to be too stressed out about it, because over a year later it was still sensitive sometimes. Sure, Ali and Ashlyn talked every once in a while. But both could tell it was force because neither wanted to put too much into it. Most of the time, she just happened to be in the room with Pinoe or Kelley when Ali and Heather would call. It was just a fluke accident. But they were civil about it at least. It’s not that Ali didn’t want to talk to her, but opening old wounds were painful sometimes.

But the tattoo still had a huge part of Ashlyn, because that’s how Ashlyn made her feel. What they had wasn’t visible with anything but their hearts, and Ali missed that synchronization.

She tuned back in when HAO was almost done talking. “ – point is that the tattoo means what it means. Whether it’s about Ashlyn or not, doesn’t matter.”

“It’s okay,” Ali finally said, tuning in. “I mean, part of it is. There’s no point in pretending otherwise.”

“Have you talked to her?” Carm asked.

Ali shook her head. “Not recently. It’s been a few weeks. She called on my birthday, and that was the last time.”

A quiet silence fell over the team. Everyone was either looking at their food or playing with their glasses of water. But finally, Ella seemed that she couldn’t take it and asked, “So… what are you going to do if we play UNC this year at the tournament?”

All eyes were on Ali as she shrugged one shoulder. She looked Ella in the eyes. “We’ll beat them. Simple as that.”

--------------------------------------------

Ali groaned as she lifted the weight on her leg, pulling it up and down, up and down, all fifteen pounds of it. It wasn’t that bad, honestly, but she was just tired of doing the same stuff all the time.

Kenzie, her trainer, smiled as she slid over on the rolly chairs. Kenzie was only about four years older than Ali, but sometimes she acted like she was sixteen. It was a good break from the rest of the stress of college.

“How’s it going, Champ?” Kenzie asked.

Ali shrugged, dropping her leg with finality to the table. “I’m so over this.”

“Jonathan and I are coming up with new stuff for your rehab. We hate watching you do the same stuff as much as you hate doing it.”

“I doubt that,” Ali chuckled.

“Well, maybe you’re right,” she shrugged. “But, we’re working on it. How is it feeling?”

“Good.” Ali reached down and took the weight off, dropping it beside her as she messed with her knee, stretching it. “I made it through breaking my leg and almost dying at one point, so this isn’t anywhere near as bad.”

Kenzie whistled at that. “Yeah, I remember you telling me about that. It still blows my mind that it happened to you, Als, yet, here you are.”

“I made it through a lot, I guess.”

“Good thing too. You need to captain this team to the championship this year.”

Ali rolled her eyes. “Don’t jinx it, Kenz.”

“I’m not,” her trainer said, fainting a hurt expression. “I would never. The team adores you and you’re one of the best defenders this school has ever had. Probably one of the best in the country. You’ll be captain. I don’t doubt it one bit. Between your defense and Christine’s offense, I can’t see us not going to the championship and taking down whatever team gets in our way.”

Ali smiled, despite the feeling that she knew exactly what team they’d see at the championship. And she knew a certain blonde that would be the captain this year, even as a junior. HAO mentioned that Ashlyn had basically led them last year as a sophomore, suddenly being some mature, soccer crazed leader, and Pinoe told her that the team was voting her in. If they were both captains on separate teams, Lord help Ali’s emotional state.

“So,” Kenzie continued, “You want an ice bath or just the bag?”

“Just the bag,” Ali asked. “I want to head back to the room.”

Kenzie jumped up. “Sounds good.”

As soon as she left, Heather entered the training room, spotting Ali. She saw the look on her friend’s face, putting her hand on the defender’s shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Ali lied. “I’m fine.”

Chapter Text

Days turned to weeks as Ali’s senior year flew by. It was all great though. Parties were amazing. She was voted captain. Her team was undefeated. They had the best scorer in the country with them at the moment, Marta. She was at the school of her dreams. Her love life was lacking but that didn’t stop her from having a good time in general.

But even after over a year, certain things reminded her of friends back home. Ella and Erin reminded her of Tobin and Alex how they acted, except for the dating part. And that was something she was sad she missed. Alex and Servano got engaged, and she missed it. The whole team from UNC was a part of it, pictures thrown up everyone on Instagram, and Ali missed it. She couldn’t even make it back for their graduation a few months ago.

On top of that, she didn’t get to send Carli off to the National Team Camp. She finally got a call up, and Abby was hoping for the same thing soon. Everyone on the team deserved a call up, honestly, but Ali wished she could’ve been there when they all celebrated.

Not to mention Kelley and Pinoe. God, she missed those two pranksters. And she missed Julie, how she must have grown in the past years to get Captain her junior year.

Or Ashlyn. How did Ashlyn change in order to get captain too? Very rarely were two juniors captains, which also seemed unreal. They were all growing up. Although Ali and Ashlyn talked every once in a while, because they would each feel the urge randomly and call out of the blue, it still didn’t fill the void. They still didn’t really see how each other changed, grew, matured. All they got were pictures on social media, a few face time calls, drunken texts, and a very long Christmas call last year when Kyle called, forcing the two to talk.

They just didn’t want to force it, but sometimes Ali wished she would have.

There were plenty of reasons why it bothered her. Every pictures she would see, it seemed like Ashlyn had another tattoo. Her sleeve was basically done now, and a recent picture from UNC’s trip to the waterfall showed Ashlyn on a rope swing with a side tattoo that Ali didn’t know she had, including one that looked like a skull on her calf.

On top of that, every time Ashlyn was seen with another girl, Ali cringed. She hated it. And Kelley told her that all of them were friends and only friends, a few dared kisses and drunken make outs here and there, but Ashlyn was single. Ali couldn’t blame her for that. She’d done it a few times herself. Kelley had even said that Madison and Ashlyn had gotten pretty close, platonically of course. They still had their original study session from two years ago, and they’re all actually pretty good friends. The team seemed to love Chloe and her boyfriend too, who visited and stayed with Ashlyn quite a bit.

And Ali was just out of the loop.

But it wasn’t all bad. She had a loop of her own with the Penn State girls. Heather was still her best friend, and Carm was slowly starting to become a permanent person in her life like Mittsy. She wouldn’t trade them for anything. Sometimes she missed UNC but she loved Penn State too much to ever leave.

Like now, they were all out after another game, another win, at a bar away from the college. All of the girls, their boyfriends, and some girlfriends were plastered. That much was obvious. Ella and Erin had disappeared to God knows where doing who knew what. Heather was dancing with Dave, and Ali was just getting plenty of amusement from the show at her table, just sipping her drink and giggling at her friends.

That is, until a hand fell on her shoulder.

She was ready to tell the guy to buzz off, that she wasn’t interested unless he just wanted to dance and only dance. But when she turned, her mouth dropped.

“Good game today.”

Ali stared at the person before her, finally catching her voice a few seconds later. “Ch – Chloe. Oh my God! What are you doing here?”

She laughed as Ali’s flustered words, asking to sit. Ali made space so the two could sit at the back of the bar alone in a booth.

Chloe looked amazing. She still sported the slightly curled, long brown hair. Her stilettoes had every guy staring at her legs, along with the short dress that didn’t leave much to the imagination. But she looked good, Ali admitted. And the two had gotten close over their Ashlyn bond, that’s for sure. Chloe supported their idea to not force a relationship, and it helped Ali get through it with Chloe on her side.

But why she suddenly showed up at Penn State was still a question to be answered.
Chloe and Ali pulled each other into a hug before Chloe finally answered. “I’m not going to beat around the bush with you, Ali. I wanted to see you, but this isn’t just a fun visit. It’s about Ashlyn.”

Ali frowned. Sure, they talk about Ashlyn all the time – that’s where Ali gets a lot of her information other than Kelley – but she wasn’t sure why Chloe was looking so… upset. Like she was ready to cry.

“What happened?” Ali ran through scenarios in her head, finally just spilling out questions. “Was it Chris? Angela? The baby?” (Yes, Angela had a bun in the oven!) “Is Grandma okay? Did something happen to her? Did she get hurt? Is–”

Chloe put her hand over Ali’s mouth. “Ali, stop.” The soccer player did, pulling away. “It was her mom.”

That could only mean on thing. “She… passed away?”

Chloe nodded. “Yesterday afternoon.”

A silence fell over the two unlikely friends. They both could feel the eyes of some of the players, including Heather, on them but Ali was too caught up in her thoughts to notice anything.

“How is she?”

Ashlyn’s ex shrugged. “Drew is with her now, along with the rest of her team, obviously. Whitney, Kelley, and the dynamic duo won’t leave her side.”

“Yeah, well, Kling and Morgan were always two peas in a pod.”

“She’s okay though,” Chloe said.

Ali narrowed her eyes. “Chloe, be completely honest.”

There was a small bit of silence. “She did the last thing we all wanted her to do.” Chloe sighed, playing with her hands on the table. “Ali, she reached for a bottle almost instantly. She downed half a bottle of vodka before we were able to find her at the field.”

Instant heart break, that’s what Ali felt. It wasn’t like the heartbreak that people normally experience. This was the kind that… she was too far away to do anything, and she could just picture Ashlyn being lost and confused and she couldn’t help. She felt useless. And she felt like Ashlyn needed her there.

Half of her worried. The other half… well, was kind of disappointed. She’d never admit to that. She just wished that Ashlyn could’ve been stronger, but that wasn’t right of Ali. She didn’t know what that felt like. She couldn’t know, and had no right to judge her ex-girlfriend for her coping mechanism.

“It was just last night,” Chloe clarified. She must have read Ali’s face. “Trust me, I worried too. As soon as I saw it, I didn’t want her to turn out like her mom or Chris. But once she realized, she threw the bottle against the post and shattered it at the field and just cried, swearing she’ll never drink again.”

Ali nodded. “She and her mom never got better, did they? She never told me if they did or not.”

“No. She never patched things up with her,” Chloe went on. “Her mom and she never managed to find a common ground about her sexuality. They tried to be civil but it was never good. After that Christmas almost two years ago, we tried. I tried to talk to Ashlyn and get her to see reason to actually mend the relationship, not just tolerate each other. My mom and her dad tried to talk to her stubborn ass mother. But neither budged. Chris wouldn’t budge either. Her mom died knowing that her children resented her, and she resented them.”

Ali wasn’t sure what to say. She just stayed quiet, itching to grab her phone and call Ashlyn.

“I didn’t come to just tell you this so you can worry.”

Ali looked up, confused. “What do you mean?”

“This weekend is labor day. Tonight is a Thursday night. You only have practice tomorrow and no game.” Chloe gave Ali a serious look. “She needs you back at UNC.”

Ali’s eyes widened. “You want me to… drive back to North Carolina?”

“Drive. Fly. Teleport. I don’t care. But she needs you there.”

“I’ll–”

Chloe’s phone cut Ali off, and they booth looked down to see Ashlyn’s number and goofy picture on the caller ID.

Without a word, they both moved out of the booth and headed out of the bar, finding a quiet spot outside against the brick wall to lean up again as Chloe answered. “Ash? You okay?”

Ali didn’t know what to do at the moment. She wasn’t even sure why she followed Chloe out here. She wasn’t dating Ashlyn. She wasn’t sure what her role was, here.

She heard Chloe sigh. “But Ash–”

Ali watched as Chloe frowned, obviously conflicted.

“Okay,” Chloe said. “If you’re sure about this.”

“I am.” Ashlyn. Her voice was seemed to be getting louder, loud enough so Ali could hear so she leaned closer to listen. “Chloe, I don’t want her to worry. I know that I asked you to get her, and I’m sorry, but I’m sober and awake and functioning and I realize that’s a stupid idea. I’m not going to ask that of her.”

“What if she–”

“No, Chloe. Please, just come back. Okay? Please. Don’t ask Ali. Please.”

Chloe took a deep breath, obviously conflicted. But she eventually nodded, looking at Ali’s eyes. “If you’re sure you don’t want her to know.”

“I don’t,” Ashlyn answered.

“Fine.”

Chloe hung up, and immediately pulled Ali into a hug. The defender didn’t even know that she was starting to cry until that moment, and then she just wrapped her arms around Chloe’s waist and let it go. In the heels, Chloe was a little taller than Ali, about Ashlyn’s height, and she imagined Ashlyn holding her instead. But that wasn’t possible because Ash didn’t want her there.

“Why would she do that?” Ali asked through her tears.

Chloe didn’t pull away, only pulling her closer. “I don’t know, Ali. She’s torn. She knows that seeing you in person wouldn’t be… easy. And in her emotional state, you two might get into something you could regret.”

Ali shook her head. “I wouldn’t take advantage of her like that.”

“But if Ashlyn asked you, begged you, wanted you to help her forget… Ali, you’re the only one that can take this pain away, and it’ll make it worse in the end if you help her just to leave back to Penn State. She can’t let you back in until it’s permanent. She can’t handle that again. First me, then you. The girl can only take so much heartbreak.”

Honestly, Ali didn’t know if she could handle seeing Ashlyn either. Take Ashlyn for a weekend and have to be without her again, that wouldn’t be easy. It would be impossible for her to leave if she did that.

Finally, she pulled away. Ashlyn was right. Chloe was right. Ali shouldn’t go. It wasn’t smart.

But Chloe kept her hands on Ali’s shoulders, studying her. “I’m sorry that I’m here and just caused more drama. I didn’t think she’d back out after I told you.”

“It’s okay.” Ali wiped her eyes carefully, avoiding her mascara. “I’ll be okay.”

“Are you telling me or yourself?”

Ali managed a laugh at that, giving Chloe a small smile that the other girl mirrored.

“Give her a few days,” Chloe instructed, “And then call her, Ali. Not to talk about her mother, about the funeral or anything. Just call her to talk.”

“Are you sure?” Ali asked.

“You’ve done it before. Why would it be different now? That’s why I said give it a few days. She’ll need it once the initial shock and the attention dies down.”

“And you’ll be with her?”

“Through Labor Day, probably a little later actually,” Chloe confirmed. “Drew doesn’t go back to work until Wednesday and I can manage to miss Tuesday’s school work to travel.”

Ali nodded, leaning back against the building and closing her eyes. “You know, Chloe. First meeting you that Christmas, I didn’t like you at first. You’d broke Ashlyn’s heart completely, but I can’t say that I haven’t done that either. But despite that, I couldn’t ask for a better friend for her.” Ali gave the other girl a serious look with sincerity. “You’ve been an angel for that girl recently. For both of us.”

Chloe gave her a nonchalant shrug. “I’m always here for my favorite players. I’m not just Ashlyn’s friend. I’m yours. So don’t hesitate to talk if you need it. I know we talk plenty but it couldn’t hurt to call more often.”

They both embraced for another hug. “Thank you, Chloe.”

“You’re welcome,” Chloe said. “And give it a few days to call Ashlyn. She just needs to cool off for a while.”

Chapter Text

Ali paced in her room, back and forth, back and forth, like a pendulum on a clock. Her phone twisted and turned nervously between her fingers as she stared at the contact. She wanted to call Ashlyn, but she was terrified how it might be different. Normally, they can talk and be relaxed but it’s never so… serious. And almost every time someone else is with them. This was going to be too confusing for Ali to know what she’s walking into.

Heather watched from the couch as Ali’s feet burned a hole in their living room floor. “Ali–”

“I can’t do it. What am I supposed to say? Sorry? I hope you’re okay? I know the answers to those questions. Am I just supposed to pretend that it didn’t happen and just avoid talking about it?”

Heather sighed, looking at Carm for some help. But neither really knew what to say. Emma wasn’t there to help either. They weren’t sure how to calm Ali down. Heather knew that the only person who knew the real way to calm Ali down was Ashlyn.

So with that in mind, she pulled out her own phone and called. Ashlyn’s phone rang four times before she finally answered. “HAO?”

“Hey, Ashlyn,” Heather said rather loudly, catching Ali’s wide eyes as she froze in her spot. “Someone wants to talk to you.”

And with that, she tossed Ali the phone, grabbed Carm, and they left for their bedrooms to give Ali some privacy.

It was quiet. Neither one of them said a word. Ali was staring at the phone before she finally got the nerve to bring the phone to her ear. “Um, hi, Ashlyn.”

“Ali.” Her voice was hoarse, like she’d been tired and exhausted. “Um, why didn’t you just call me from your phone?”

With a nervous laugh, Ali sat on the couch to calm herself. “Yeah, well, I’ve been pacing in my room for about twenty minutes and I think Heather was over it.”

“You know you can call anytime. We made that promise to each other on your last day at UNC. It’s not like we haven’t talked.”

Ali nodded to herself. “I know.”

“I get that it’s hard,” Ashlyn said. “Trust me. Sometimes our phone calls hurt more than they help.”

That wasn’t exactly what Ali wanted to hear. But she understood. Talking to Ashlyn could be amazing sometimes, and it was great while it lasted, but once they hung up, the loneliness and the longing would be even worse. It was like a temporary fix that only hurt more in the end.

Where did they go in this conversation from here? She wasn’t sure. Did she bring it up? Did she ask how school was going? Was she allowed to ask about soccer?

“How’s your knee?” Ashlyn asked, bringing Ali out of her panic. “Fully recovered now, right?”

With a relieved sigh, Ali said, “It’s great, actually. I wear the brace for training and I’m always rehabbing it but I haven’t had a problem recently. And in a month, I’m free of the brace permanently, knock on wood.”

Ashlyn chuckled. “I’m glad you’re recovering.”

“Me too. How’s your shoulder?”

“Since the last time we talked?” Ashlyn chuckled. “Well, last week I landed wrong in one of our games during a PK. Just tweaked my shoulder a bit but I’ll be fine.”

“Did you at least block the shot?”

“Of course,” Ashlyn chuckled. “Is that even a question?”

Ali shook her head, relaxing against the back of the couch. “Yeah, silly me. I should’ve known that Ashlyn Harris can’t be scored on.”

There was a pause when Ali heard Chloe’s voice on the other end of the line, muffled by the distance: “Ashlyn, where is your skateboard?”

“Outside,” Ashlyn called back to her.

"Where outside, you dimwit?"

“Near Whitney’s bike by the rack, you asstwerp."

“Thanks!” Then she heard a door shut through the line.

Ashlyn was back in an instant. “Sorry about that. Chloe is as much a mess now as she has always been.”

“Since when does she skateboard?” Ali asked. There was no mention of that new hobby while she was up here recently.

“She wanted to learn when she came up this weekend so I started teaching her when she got back from Penn S – ylvania. Visiting family and stuff, ya know.”

Ali almost corrected her when she remembered. She wasn’t supposed to know that Chloe came to get here. So she let it slide. “As long as she doesn’t hurt herself.”

“She’s actually not that bad. I was surprised when she even wanted to go up on a ramp. Luckily, she hasn’t wanted to do anything too crazy. It’s amusing to watch her try though and Drew thinks it’s the hottest thing ever, so you know.”

“We’ll I’m glad you’re okay.” And Ali knew it was the last thing she should’ve said when Ashlyn was quiet. Way to bring it up, Ali scolded herself.

Ashlyn took a deep breath and it sounded like she closed a door, probably heading outside. “Yeah, it’s been a long weekend. I’m guessing Chloe told you.”

“We keep in touch, so yeah…” Ali thought about telling truth but she didn’t. “She texted me about what happened, so did Whitney. I wasn’t sure if I should call or not. I didn’t know what you wanted me to do.”

“It’s weird.”

“What?”

Ashlyn let out a weak laugh. “My two ex-girlfriends being as close as you guys are. Is that not odd to you?”

“No, Ash,” Ali chuckled. “We’ve been friends for over a year and a half. It’s nothing new.”

“Yeah. And I’m glad. I still want you guys in my life, so I’m glad you two get along.”

“Well, we bond over talking about you,” Ali teased.

“Really?” Ashlyn sounded surprised.

Ali blushed. “Um, I mean, just like your quirks and weirdness.”

“Thanks for that, but it’s still just kind of strange. The less drama, the better obviously but sometimes, Chloe asks me how – you know what? Never mind, not important.”

“How what?”

“How we’d be… if we… you know.”

Ali sat forward at her worried, quiet tone. “Know what?”

There was an awkward silence before Ashlyn blurted out, “If we ever get back together.”

This was the conversation she wanted to avoid. Ashlyn brought it up every couple of months, just a mention here or there. It was obvious that they both wanted it, but Ali knew herself well enough to know that she couldn’t do the distance. They would fight. They would argue, be selfish about who drives and timing. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Ashlyn. She did. It was just that she didn’t trust herself.

But she wasn’t sure how to answer it this time. Most of the time, they laughed it off, awkwardly teasing each other and trying not to cross a line. But Ashlyn’s mother was gone, and it wasn’t the time for teasing.

“Ashlyn, I don’t–”

“I’m sorry,” she interrupted. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It’s my fault that we’re not – I mean, you wanted to – fuck, I’m sorry. I should probably shut up…”

Silence. They weren’t sure where to go from there. But Ali didn’t want to say goodbye yet. This was one of the few moments she could talk to Ashlyn by herself. Normally, on skype, Heather was around or Whitney and Pinoe and Kelley.

Apparently, neither did Ashlyn, who asked, “So, moving on, how are Kyle and Tom? Still as sickening as ever?”

-----------------------------------

Weeks later into the season, Ali pushed against the leg press as hard as she could, twenty reps later, barely getting the last one done before she was able to relax with a deep breath.

Heather Mitts – aka: Mittsy, Ali’s gym buddy on the team, smiled at her when she completed it. “Honestly, you have to be one of the strongest people on our team.”

She stood, wiping her sweat away from her forehead. “Yeah, well, I’m paranoid.”

“You really have no reason to be.”

“Well, I am.”

“So, are we ever going to talk about a weekly phone call that you have which occurs every Wednesday night according to Heather and Carm?” Mittsy asked.

Ali stood, brushing past her. “Wanna do abs?”

“Ali.”

“Mittsy.”

The other girl resigned when Ali wouldn’t budge, going through the rest of their workout. It wasn’t crazy weights or maxing out, just small weights and a lot of reps to keep themselves strong.

But Mittsy grabbed Ali’s shirt, yanking her back down to the mats when she tried to stand to get the medicine balls. “Don’t even try it. We’re talking about this.”

“About what?”

“Your calls to Ashlyn.”

Ali sighed, pulling her legs to her chest. She didn’t want to talk about this in the middle of the gym. She didn’t even know why they were actually doing it. That Wednesday was the day Ali called Ashlyn after her mom, and since then, it had become a constant thing. Ashlyn calls to check in on Ali, and Ali asks about her shoulder and how her family is. It’s just to stay in touch. No more. No less. Because neither could let it be any more or any less.

“We’re friends,” Ali pointed out.

“I know that. But you two have a new thing going, and I’m worried that you’re going to get caught up in it.”

“Thing? What thing?”

Mittsy gave Ali a ‘don’t play with me’ look. “You still love her. Don’t you think that talking to her all the time might distract you?”

“No.” Ali shook her head. “Ashlyn and I are friends, only. Like her and Chloe. We know that in season isn’t the best time to talk about this. But I am graduating. And I don’t know where I’ll end up, but I’m sick of the nervous calls on skype with Pinoe or the awkward conversations. I want her to know that I still care about her, regardless of everything else and the distance. Okay? Believe me when I tell you that Ashlyn and I are friends.”

Mittsy studied Ali for a while, but she eventually nodded once. “You know, one day I want meet this girl that has you so captivated.”

“You will,” Ali insisted.

“So what do you guys even talk about?” Mittsy asked as the pair stood, putting up the matts and gathering their things. “Is it like platonic stuff or do you talk about getting together?”

Ali took a huge sip of her water, debating the answer. “Ashlyn brings it up sometimes, and I do by accident every once in a while, but we tend to stay away from something that’s not possible right now.”

------------------------

Another away trip. Another day. Another long bus ride.

Ali loved traveling with the team, but sometimes it was exhausting. Especially now. She was on her way through Tennessee, and she hated overnight trips in the middle of the week. They were missing school, but she couldn’t study on buses which made it so much more difficult.

“Why can’t we just fly?” Heather complained again, staring at the TVs but not really watching it.

Ali shrugged, watching as Iron Man and Captain America fought it out. “Too expensive. Besides, some of the girls don’t do well on planes.”

“Some of us get bus sick though.”

“Ali.”

They both looked away from the TV to see Marcus, the coach, waving at her from the front of the bus. He motioned her to come forward, and she shrugged, hopping over Heather before moving to take the seat next to him behind the driver.

“What’s up, Coach?”

“Did you see this?”

He gave her his phone with some kind of national championship listing on it. Her eyes widened when she saw that Penn State was ranked 3rd in the nation this year, officially. West Partisan University ,out near California, was 2nd. And in first.

University of North Carolina. Ashlyn.

“Oh.”

He nodded, taking the phone back. He didn’t know anything really personal about her relationships, but he was aware what team they might be playing in a few months at the final. He knew that Ali remained good friends with them.

And that’s what probably had him worried. “It’s still weeks away before we have to think about the tournament, but I want you to know and understand that we might play your old team this year.”

“Most of my team had graduated,” she pointed out. “Only a few are really left that I know.”

“But you’re still aware that as a coach, I’m concerned.”

She nodded. “I understand that.”

“I just want you to be at your best, Ali. I want you prepared. You’re our captain. The team looks to you for everything, on the field, off the field, personal, physical. It’s you. They come to you. I’m not trying to make you nervous because I know you handle that pressure. I just want you and I to be on the same page.”

“I know,” she said quietly, taking it all in. “But you have nothing to worry about.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

She stood after that, making her way back to her seat with Heather. The other girl gave her a questioning look but Ali just grabbed her headphones, shaking her off. She didn’t want to talk.

Because she was nervous, extremely. Playing against the UNC team was one thing. She thought that she could handle that. She could fight back against them, mainly to prove a point. But there was someone on that team that she was scared to play against. Not emotionally, but because she hadn’t been around her at all recently. Hadn’t seen her in person.

And Ali wasn’t sure what she would do.

Chapter Text

November 15th. That was two days before the final for the National Championship. It was the day that Ali had been waiting for. She always wanted to win a National Championship for Penn State. It was finally her time.

But she knew a team full of other players who wanted the same glory.

They were playing in Virginia, Ali’s hometown, for the tournament. Her family could be there. Her friends. She was excited about that, at least. Everyone she cared about could see the biggest game of her life so far.

Marcus was up at the front of the Hotel Common room, the area that the team had gathered. They were all sitting at round tables around the room, reports on the UNC team in front of each player. They had discussed little things here and there about the team, and Ali had distanced herself for the past few weeks because she wanted to be focused and ready to play them. She couldn’t think personally about this.

Marcus looked up at everyone individually. “Okay, we all know how big this coming game is going to be. UNC is ranked number one in the nation for good reasons, and they’ve played well this whole season.”

He looked at Ali momentarily before going to the white board behind him, writing down some key players. “First up, Erin.” He looked at their goal keeper. “Be aware of the crosses and shots from 15, Megan Rapinoe. We all know that she’s got quite the foot. Ella, you’ll more than likely have to cover her if she’s breaking down the line.”
They nodded. So he moved on.

“Morgan Brian, the most underrated player on their team.” He wrote down 14 as well. “She’s smart. She reads the game well. She’s fast. She’s fearless. HAO, Ali, you two played with her, so you know her strengths and weaknesses. I want you to talk to Stephanie and Emma about the central mid situation, tell them how to shut her down.”

Both Ali and HAO nodded. Ali felt a weird feeling in her stomach though. She wasn’t sure what it was.

“With that, we all know about their star striker, Leroux. She’s good, end of story. We know about O’Hara and how she gets in player’s heads. We know about Kling, their backline. Marta, Crystal,” Marcus looked directly at them and pointed. “Run them to the ground. Make them work.

“Other than that,” he continued, “We’re pretty set. I know you guys are prepared. We’re going to spend the next few days just fine tuning a few things.”

Someone raised their hands, and Ali frowned when she realized it was Christine, one of their better outside mids/forwards. “Coach, what about Ashlyn? She’s hardly been scored on at all this season.”

Ali tensed.

But Marcus took her question in with thought. “We’ve seen clips after clips. She’s not unbeatable, but her back line makes her look better than she is.” Ali’s jaw clenched. She was exactly how good she looked, but Ali couldn’t say that. “But with that said, we have to test her. You’re going to have to beat Johnston, beat Whitney, beat Klingenburg, and it’s not going to be easy, but she needs to be tested and worked.”

HAO nudged Ali, leaning over. “You okay?”

“They’re never going to beat her if they drill her. Every save she gets, she just gets better and better.”

“You know her better than anyone, how do we win?”

Ali sighed. “Ashlyn reads people well. We have to be unpredictable, but beating their backline is going to be the big issue too. It’s not just Ashlyn. People need to know how to read Julie and Whitney as well as they read strikers.”

“Ali. HAO.” Both girls jerked to attention when Marcus called on them. “Something you have to say?”

Both girls looked at each other, HAO giving Ali the ‘go ahead’. She sighed but stood, getting the attention of all her teammates. “Ashlyn is a great goalkeeper and her back line is one of the best in the nation. They’re the best because they were trained by the best and followed the best. Beating them is going to be far from easy, and it’s not going to take as many shots as possible. Ashlyn thrives off of successful saves. The mores she has, the more daring she gets. Knowing Jill, she’s done plenty of studying on Marta, Christine, all of our attacking players. Ashlyn is going to know what’s coming at her.”

Marcus crossed his arms over his chest, taking in what she was saying. “Well then, Ali, what do you suggest?”

“We have to be unpredictable. Their back line is strong and fast, and we need someone up there that they’ve never seen before that can throw them off. Whitney is a great player, but if she’s unprepared, it shows. J.J. lacks experience with certain strikers. We need to just confuse them or throw someone up there who they think they know, and that person needs to be able to throw them off, play different, be versatile.”

“So like you?” he blurted out.

Ali’s eyes widened. “What? No, I was just–”

“They expect you to play defense, yes?”

“Yes, but–”

“You have one of the best shots on the team,” Marcus continued. “And you know how to beat their line. You know how to maneuver around them and get to Ashlyn.”

Ali felt her throat closing up at the implication. “Coach, I don’t think I’m the person to put up there.”

He studied her for a moment. “Well, Ali, I do.”

------------------------------------

“I mean, is he crazy? There’s no way that I can play up top! Sure, I stay after practice to shoot sometimes, but I haven’t played midfield in years. I’m not a striker, but he’s putting me under Crystal, and even though we’re stacked, we’re still duel strikers pretty much. And I don’t know how to–”

Crystal sighed, glancing at HAO on the other bed of the hotel room. “Is there an off button?”

Heather shook her head. “You kind of have to just let her rant.”

“This is a problem, guys!” Ali yelled, stopping her pacing and staring at her two friends and Mittsy who was painting her nails on the floor. “I can’t play up there. I’m stressed enough about this game in a position I’ve perfected. Much less–”

“You guys smell that?” Mittsy said, sitting up.

HAO played along. “Yeah, I think I do.”

“Smells like,” Crystal smiled. “Bullshit.”

The three started laughing as Ali threw the remote at Crystal’s head. “Guys, I’m serious.”

Heather noticed her seriousness and sighed, moving over on the bed and patting the side of it. They all situated themselves on it, giving Ali encouraging smiles. “Ali,” HAO said, touching the nervous girl’s knee. “Is this about the position or about who we’re playing?”

She shrugged, looking down. “Both.”

“You’re basically as versatile as Kelley when you play. You two could play every position but goalkeeper, so be honest,” HAO said, calling her out.

Mittsy gave her a sympathetic look. “Ashlyn is really getting to you, huh?”

“It’s not just that,” Ali insisted. “It’s everything. UNC knows me. Jill knows me. I’m not going to be good in a different position. I need to be in a comfortable place in order to think straight and play how I need to.”

Crystal disagreed. “Don’t you think that we need you in the place that it’ll benefit the team the most? It’s not like you can’t play anywhere. HAO told me about Kelley. You helped her transition through all those positions at UNC. If you can teach it, you can do it.”

“You did,” HAO added. “It’s not like you don’t know what to do. You’re just scared.”

Ali slumped against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling. “I haven’t seen her in person since I visited Kelley and Pinoe last fall. And that was bad enough. She avoided being alone with me the entire time.”

“So?”

“So how am I supposed to handle seeing her again? Playing against her. I mean, guys, I miss her,” Ali blurted out, raising her hands dramatically and dropping them. “And I can’t be thinking about that before going into the biggest game of the season against her.”

They were all quiet for the longest while. And finally, Mittsy was one to speak and break the silence.

“Ali?” she asked. “Maybe you should see her before the game.”

HAO’s eyes widened. “What? Mittsy, that’s not a good idea.”

“Sure it is,” Crystal added. “Ali needs to have a clear mindset going into this game, not thinking about all the possibilities.”

“And what makes you think that seeing her will help anything?”

Mittsy rolled her eyes and stood, using her hands to talk. “It’s simple. Two people are both bothered because of the distance. Seeing each other when they walk up to the refs as captains probably isn’t the best idea. Let them talk it out and figure things out before they can’t concentrate on the game. Know what I mean?”

Crystal remained quiet, watching Ali’s reactions. The brunette looked like she was barely breathing. That was just because her mind was racing. Seeing Ashlyn had her freaked out enough, but really seeing her… that was something that she hadn’t even thought of. Her hands covered her eyes as she felt the panic start to set in.

HAO sighed, glancing at Ali. “UNC is rooming in the hotel down the street, so, I mean… if you want to.” She pulled Ali’s hands from her eyes. “I can text Kelley, maybe see when the UNC girls are free.”

“Is that a good idea?” Crystal finally chimed in.

“Probably not,” Ali said, finally glancing at HAO. “But let’s do it.”

-------------------------------

Ali’s fingers tapped against her coffee mug, her leg bouncing up and down and her eyes running all over the place. Her coach had taken everyone downtown in D.C., and she was finally able to find her old coffee shop that she missed so much.

But not even that could calm her. With her family close, her friends around, her brother in town, and everything. She was still nervous as a ticking time bomb and she was starting to panic at the thought of seeing Ashlyn. The day before the final championship. What was she thinking? She’d lost her mind. Why did she let Mittsy talk her into this? This wouldn’t help her concentrate. This would make her panic.

Without a second thought, she jumped up from her chair, turned, and ran face first into someone else.

But that someone, a blonde known as Ashlyn Harris, grabbed her hips and kept her steady. “Whoa,” she said out loud, steadying Ali, her hands shaking as she gripped the brunette’s hips. Her eyes met Ali’s, both full of nervousness and awe. “Whoa.”

That was one way to put it. Ali didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to act.

Ashlyn, on the other hand, just spoke. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Uh – I was just – I didn’t–”

Ashlyn dropped her hands and shoved them into the pockets of her jeans. “Not running off, are you?”

That caught her off guard, and Ali dropped her head. “I just thought that maybe this was a bad idea.”

“Well, we’re here anyway.” Ashlyn pointed back to the table. “Might as well, right? It’s not like we can’t just have a casual conversation like usual.”

Ali agreed to that, but she was still on edge. She couldn’t get over how it felt to look in those eyes again for real. Or to have Ashlyn touch her. It might have been just to make sure she didn’t fall on her ass, but Ali missed the feeling as Ashlyn moved to the other side of the table, taking a seat.

Her eyes drifted down and noticed a familiar golden A on Ali’s chest, eyes softening at the sight of it. “You still wear it.”

Ali touched the necklace, blushing that she didn’t realize what that might imply. But she never lied to Ashlyn, and she wasn’t going to start now so she nodded, gripping it in between her fingers. “Um, yeah. I wear it a lot, still. I keeps me calm.”

There was a slight pause between the two, allowing them to take each other in. Ashlyn looked amazing in her black jeans, white t-shirt, black snapback, wavy hair, charming smile, black leather jacket. Ali didn’t realize she was staring but she was.

Finally, Ashlyn started the conversation. “So, any reason why you wanted to meet right now? The day before we play each other?”

Ali fiddled with the fingers on her coffee cup now, looking at Ashlyn’s empty hands. “Are you going to want any coffee? We can get some before we talk.”

She shook her head. “I had some already. I want to know what this is about.”

So Ali continued. “Look, Ashlyn, I just – I wanted to talk before the final. Because it’s a huge game and we captain different teams and we shouldn’t see each other for the first time on the pitch. You know?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn nodded. “But was this to talk about that or something else?”

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

Ali stared down at her cup. “I’ve missed you.”

Ashlyn leaned forward, putting her hands on the table. “I’ve been here for you since the day you transferred. We got over our issues, and we’re friends. I thought that’s what we both... thought was best at the time.”

Ali wanted more than that, though. But now wasn’t the time to say it. Even worse, she knew that she didn’t have to say much for Ashlyn to understand her.

The keeper sighed, dropping her head slightly. “Ali, you know we can’t. I want it to, but we switch off being the logical one. And I'm telling you now, we can't.”

“I know. But I can’t help it.” Ali looked up, meeting Ashlyn’s eyes. “Sometimes, phone calls and facetime isn’t enough. And I shouldn’t feel like that, especially now, but the thought of seeing you in person for the first time in months on a field where we’ll be playing against each other just freaked me out.”

Ashlyn, to both of their surprise, reached out and grabbed Ali’s hand. “Hey, it’s okay to feel like that. It’s not just you.”

Ali stared at their fingers and twisted it to intertwine them, looking up at Ashlyn. “You were nervous too?” Ali asked.

She nodded.

Ali squeezed her hand. “Maybe we can talk after the game?”

“I was planning on staying with Whitney for Thanksgiving, but we can work something out.”

“My parents are taking me home for thanksgiving.” Ali gave Ashlyn a serious look. “Come with me instead.”

The blonde’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Come with me to Thanksgiving with my family,” Ali insisted. “Please. We can talk. Figure things out. And Ashlyn, I want to spend some time with you.” She paused. “Unless you don’t want to…”

The keeper had pulled her hand away at that point. She stared at Ali for longer than Ali thought necessary, but then she finally gave a small, nervous grin and nodded. “Okay.”

Now, Ali looked shocked. “Okay?”

“We need to talk and get this all out eventually. Why not over Thanksgiving?” Ashlyn shrugged. “Besides, I never got to officially see the chaos that is the Krieger Clan in their natural habitat.”

Chapter Text

“Don’t even try it, Ali. You guys already know you’re going to lose,” Ashlyn shot through the phone. “Honestly, you guys should just forfeit. Save yourself the humiliation.”

Ali chuckled as she lied in bed, staring at the ceiling. Everyone was down at breakfast but she had her coffee, banana, and yogurt and now she just wanted to relax for a while. Before she even realized what she was doing, Ashlyn had picked up the phone ten minutes ago, and now here they were.

“Don’t be so sure of yourself,” Ali teased back, twirling her brown hair on her fingers. “You act like this is going to be a walk in the park. You’re about to have the game of your life, Harris.”

“I think I can handle Marta and Sinclair. I’m not too worried about your little Penn State team.”

“You’re about to get a rude awakening.” Ali smiled as HAO walked into the room, pointing to the bathroom and walking into to shower, giving Ali some more privacy. There was a slight pause in their conversation when Ali asked, “It’s going to be weird playing against each other, you know?”

She heard Kelley and Kling in the background of Ashlyn’s phone, and the sound of what seemed like sprinting footsteps and slamming doors.

“Ash,” Ali chuckled. “What the hell is wrong with your team?”

“They’re nuts,” she answered honestly with amusement. “Kling might have pulled a little prank on Kelley that included whipped cream and now they’re destroying the hotel.”

“Some things never change.”

“No, they don’t. But anyway, it is going to be kind of strange, for sure. But I’m excited about it. Even though we’re captaining different teams, one of us is walking away as a captain for a D1 school with a national championship tonight. That’s kind of cool.”

Ali smiled at the thought. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“No hard feelings though, okay?"

“Why would I have hard feelings? You’re the sore loser.”

“Who said I’m going to lose?”

HAO poked her head out of the bathroom, giving Ali a look. “Can you two stop teasing each other because I need your help with my mascara. It is not cooperating.”

“Yeah,” Ali nodded. She turned her attention back to the phone. “I have to help HAO with some stuff, so I have to go. But I’ll see you at the game tonight?”

“Yeah. Just don’t cry too hard afterwards, okay?”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Harris. It’s game on.”

“Bring it, Krieger.”

They hung up and Ali hopped of her bed, a skip in her step as she made her way inside the bathroom. Sure enough, HAO was glaring at the mascara like she wanted to throw it out the window and Ali just laughed at her friend, taking it out of her hands. “Here, sit on the counter.”

HAO hopped up, and a silence fell over the best friends as they managed to avoid the elephant in the room. But Ali could see the curiosity in HAO’s eyes, and she eventually sighed and dropped the brush. “What?”

“When were you going to tell me about Thanksgiving?”

Ali didn’t know HAO even knew. “Who told you about that?”

“Ashlyn told Whitney obviously when she cancelled their plans,” she said. “Their whole team knows. And you couldn’t even bother to tell me or Mittsy?” HAO gave Ali a sad look. “Why didn’t you?”

Ali shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Stop talking,” Ali instructed. “I can’t do this if you’re talking.”

The look in HAO’s eyes as Ali finished up was intense. The conversation obviously wasn’t over, but at least she had a moment to gather her thoughts before getting bombarded with questions. It wasn’t that Ali didn’t want people to know. She didn’t care if people knew. She just didn’t know how to bring it up. Especially with the game tonight, there were more important things.

Finally she finished, dropping the brush in her make-up bag. “There, done.”

“So?” HAO asked immediately. “Are you guys getting back together?”

Ali headed back to the room. “I don’t know, HAO.”

“Why not?”

“Because we haven’t talked about it.”

“You’ve talked constantly since that coffee date.”

“It wasn’t a date.”

“That’s not the point. You have to be careful about just picking up where you left off. That’s not how this world works.”

Both brunettes sat at the edge of Ali’s bed, but the defender fell backwards with her hands over her face. “I know. But it’s because were close, physically. Not physically, but like, proximity. We’re in the same area. We can get coffee. I can see her in person.” HAO opened her mouth but Ali shut her down quickly. “No, we didn’t kiss. It’s all platonic.”

“Nothing is platonic with you two.”

“This is. Trust me. It’s just as friends.”

“Is she going with you to Thanksgiving as your friend?”

Ali removed her hands and dropped them to her stomach, staring at the blank ceiling. “I wish I knew.”

“Don’t you think you should figure that out?”

“I don’t know. Yes. Maybe? Honestly, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around talking to her all the time. It feels like a dream.”

HAO leaned over her, smiling down at her best friend. “You never stopped loving her, did you?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“Well,” HAO patted Ali’s stomach. “I just want you to play well tonight, beat Ashlyn’s ass, make up afterwards, and figure your shit out over the break. I don’t want to get a call or go back to school and see you heartbroken. Because you have to remember this is just a break.” Ali cocked an eyebrow at her. HAO continued. “It’s a break from school but not life. You’ll still be very far apart for the next 7 months or so. If the talk comes up that you two want to be back together, be aware of what that’s going to entail: the distance that she in particular so desperately wanted to avoid.”

Ali didn’t respond, taking in everything that HAO said. She knew it was all true. Being around Ashlyn doesn’t mean they can suddenly be together now. They still were at different schools, living different lives at the moment.

“You’re right,” Ali said. Her phone dinged and she continued as she reached for it. “I’m not getting my hopes up. It’s just nice having her around again. I know not to expect what I want.”

HAO gave her a small smile and tapped her knee affectionately. “Well, now that it’s over, Mittsy wanted to know if you wanted to play pool and cards downstairs in the lobby to relax before the game.”

Ali smiled and nodded, and as they gathered their stuff, she checked the text on her phone.

See you tonight, beautiful. Bring you’re A game, Princess – Ashlyn

She smiled at the message before HAO yelled at her to hurry up, grabbing her stuff and taking off through the doorway.

-------------------------

Ali was bouncing on the tips of her toes in the locker room. She couldn’t sit still. If she had a minute to think, she’d think about how in the next five minutes they were going to be walking out to the pitch for their game and that just made her palms sweat.

The whole day had been kind of relaxing, kind of stressful. The idea of the game was always in the back of her team’s head, and they were just ready to get this all over with. They were ready to hoist that championship in their hands, to get rings, to win. She wanted to win. The team wanted to win.

They had to win.

Today was the day that Ali had to be completely different. She wasn’t defending, she was attacking. She didn’t have to watch her back. She had to make sure the other team was keeping an eye on their own, and if they weren’t she had to exploit it. She had to score. She had to shoot. She had to figure it out. She had to figure Ashlyn out.

She felt a hand on her shoulder as her coach passed. He gave her a small smile and a nod before he kept walking. No one said anything to her, letting her focus. They booted up, got their jerseys on, and walked out of the locker rooms towards the small stadium they were playing at, the home of the Washington Spirit.

PACK THE PLEX was written across the stadium as both teams lined up at the midline. Ali looked down the line, seeing Erin next to her as the starting keeper, Ella, Carm, HAO, Mittsy, and others dressed in the same white uniform with blues dancing across it. She touched the 11 on her chest nervously, feeling Erin nudge her and give her a wink. The announcer came on, and she looked out over the hundreds and few thousand people that were there. The stadium was completely packed, and it was small enough to be intimidating still.

“And for North Carolina, the line-up for the Tar Heels!” Cheers erupted and Ali leaned forward to look across the refs, seeing Ashlyn step forward. “Number 18, the starting keeper, Ashlyn Harris!”

People yelled and screamed and Ali recognized Chris’s booming voice. She smiled knowing Ashlyn’s family was able to make it.

Whitney was called next, along with Pinoe, Kelley, Kling, Morgan Brian, Sydney, Julie, and a few others. She started to get nervous, but she put on a brave face when her own name was called for her team, stepping forward and waving at the crowd. Ashlyn gave her a wink when they made eye contact, causing Ali to blush and step back into line.

“Don’t let her get in your head,” Erin told her quietly, giving her wrist a squeeze.

They went through the national anthem as Ali’s head swarmed with this and that going through it. When they finished, Carm grabbed Ali and pulled her towards the side and before she could say anything to calm the brunette down –

“CAPTAINS!”

Coach gave Ali a nod as she breathed a deep breath and moved towards center field. Julie and Ashlyn were there, the taller blonde had a small, genuine, yet teasing smirk and before either could do anything, Julie stepped forward and hugged Ali.

“Good luck,” the defender said to her before she stepped back, allowing the ex-couple to greet each other.

“Hey you,” Ashlyn smiled.

Ali chuckled. “Hi.”

They stayed formal and hugged slightly before Ashlyn pulled away, but she gave Ali a second wink and a smile before the refs pulled their attention.

“Ladies,” the lead lady ref said. “Let’s do this. You know the rules of the game, and we aren’t going to stand for anything just because this is the national championship. You play dirty, you get kicked out. Makes sure your teammates understand this, yes?” All 3 captains nodded “Here’s the coin.” She held it out. “Heads is the eagle, tails is the flag. North Carolina, call it in there air.”

“Tails,” Ashlyn said instantly as the ref caught it.

“Tails it is.”

Ashlyn pointed behind her where the sun was beginning to set in the afternoon light. “We’ll take this side.”

“Alright, Penn State, you have the ball kicking that way,” the ref pointed. “Good luck.”

They all nodded and Julie gave Ali one last smile before turning back and jogging to her team. Ashlyn held up one finger at Jill before turning to Ali again. “So this is it.”

“It is,” Ali said with a confidence she didn’t know she had.

“Let the best team win?”

“And no hard feelings.”

“Never.”

They smiled and Ali turned, heading back to her team. They were circled already, and Carm opened a space for Ali to slide into between her and Mittsy. They did the cheer, Ali’s heart starting to race as they ran out to the field. She watched Erin and Ella and the other defenders drift further away as she passed Christine Sinclair who gave Ali a small nod, both players stepping up to the ball. She watched as UNC did their cheer and the players turned, half of them stopping when they saw Ali in the front line.

Ashlyn frowned, staring as if she saw Ali with two heads. Julie had to move her along, giving her a shrug as all the girls stared. This was definitely a surprise. Attacker Ali, here we go.

The ref blew the whistle, and they were off.

Attacking was something that wasn’t natural to Ali, but she had so much experience defending that she knew what could fool a defender. She and Crystal and Sinclair were making plenty of runs, getting some shots off here and there, but Ashlyn easily saved every one of them. They had to get closer, make it harder. And luckily, they managed a corner kick and HAO took off to take it.

Ali set up at the corner, bouncing on her toes. Julie came up to mark her, the blonde’s hand going to Ali’s back and gripping her shirt. “So, this is quite the surprise.”

“You really want to talk right now?”

“Just don’t be mad when I take you out, Ali.”

“Don’t mad when I score, J.J.”

They both settled and moved as HAO dropped her hand. The ball sored through the hair, right towards the near post where Christine was running. Sinclair jumped, got her head on the ball, but Whitney was right there and their bodies collided, both players falling to the floor.

Neither moved, and Ali and Ashlyn took off towards their players, dropping beside them. Ali wiped some of the grass off of Christine’s forehead. “What happened?”

“She just… elbowed me.” She gripped her side, and Ella came up as well, asking the same question Ali did. “I’ll be fine. Help me up.”

Both Penn State players did, and Ali let out a relieved sigh as the forward walked off, Ella giving her a bit of assistance. She turned back to see Whitney still on the ground, the trainers now on the field and Ashlyn standing over her with her hands on her head and worry in her eyes.

Without thinking, Ali stepped up and put a hand on the keeper’s back. “She okay?”

“She can’t breathe,” Ashlyn said, not looking away from Whitney. “Sinclair’s knee hit her in the stomach directly. She said it hurts pretty bad. It’s just a bit of a fright I think, but they can’t get her to calm down..”

Ali nodded. “She’ll be fine, Ash. She–”

“ALI!”

Both players turned to see Ali’s team huddled together, Mittsy calling her over. Ali sighed, dropping her hand from Ashlyn. The blonde gave her a nod as she took one more look at Whitney before jogging off.

As soon as she got to the circle, where Christine was now standing and looking good, Erin gave Ali a hard look. “What was that?”

Ali rolled her eyes. “She’s still my friend, Erin. Back off. I’m not laying off because I know them, so don’t even assume that. Got it?”

She sighed and nodded. “Yeah, Captain. Got it.”

“Alright, listen up,” Ali said, stepping in the circle. “This game is far from over. We need to turn up the heat.”

-------------------------------------

Ali groaned as Ashlyn managed to dive and block another shot. They’d been at this for the entire first half, and they were starting to run out of time. Ali had shot after shot. They subbed Christine after her injury and put in Crystal. The two were working well, but Ashlyn was on her game today, for sure. And J.J. and Whitney were barely letting anything through that the girls could actually take advantage of.

Halftime came and went, and it was the same old same old. Ali’s brain was running a mile a minute and she had a feeling that the only way to really get to Ashlyn was to get to her back line. She came up with her own little game plan. If she could get a 1 on 1 break away with Julie or Whitney, they’d both react the same way.

She’d pull an Alex Morgan. Something her UNC friend taught her.

Five minutes into the first have, UNC got a free kick. Erin managed to block it for a corner, which she eventually caught to relax the team.

Twelve minutes in, Crystal took a shot that hit the post, Ashlyn letting out a sigh of relief.

Fourteen minutes in, UNC countered from one of HAO’s outside runs, crossing it and dropping it at Sydney Leroux’s feet, and she managed to slip it by Erin.

1 – 0, UNC.

Thirty six minutes into the second half, Ali got her chance.

She managed to beat Morgan Brian just outside the top of the key, and had only J.J. left. Ashlyn was barking orders left and right, and Ali managed to juke J.J., tap it to the left, but when she went to run around, Julie’s body collided with hers and sent both girls to the ground inside the 18.

And the whistle blew.

Ali barely registered her teammates cheering. She didn’t really think about Ashlyn’s protests and few cuss words that slipped from the keeper’s mouth. She didn’t see Kling and Morgan trying to calm the upset defender that caused the PK. Ali didn’t even feel her teammates really lift her up from the ground. She just stared at the ball as the ref handed it to her.

Alex sure knew how to pull a PK. Apparently, Ali really did learn a thing or two.

She dropped the ball onto the PK spot, refusing to look up at her ex-girlfriend who was stretching out. She could feel Ashlyn’s gaze burning into her. She backed up, still staring at the ground. The whistle blew, Ali breathed, she ran forward and –

Cheers erupted as Ashlyn dove the wrong direction, not being able to read Ali successfully that time. The ball sailed into the left corner, and Ali steadied herself as Crystal jumped on her, screaming and yelling.

It was a tied game.

And it was game on.

Chapter Text

Ali’s heart was pounding and sweat poured down her face as the ref blew the final whistles. She was exhausted. She was mentally drained. She felt like her body had been abused by Whitney and Julie, but they were just doing their job. This is why she was a defender. She could inflict the pain, not take it that way.

But no matter, the score was still the score.

1 – 1

No one knew who would win yet. They had gone into overtime and no progress was made. After 120 minutes of exhaustion, it was coming down to this. Two teams, ten kickers, and two goal keepers.

She was still lying on the turf, catching her breath when HAO walked over. She looked just as exhausted, sweat drenching her number nine jersey and reached down, pulling her captain up. No words were spoken as the two walked to the bench.

Ali dared a glance over at the UNC bench. Whitney had Ashlyn off to the side, talking to her and waving her hands as the keeper kept looking away, obviously distressed and worried. Ali wanted nothing but to go over and help her, but she knew that going to the UNC bench at a time like this was not an option. She could help after the game.

Right now, she had to win.

“Alright,” her coach said, getting the team’s attention. He and the others had been discussing the five kickers, and now was the announcement. “We’ve come to the conclusion. First up, Marta.”

Everyone cheered as the girl nodded, a small smile on her face.

“Masar.”

Erin beamed at her girlfriend.

“HAO.”

Ali nudged her and smiled.

“Sinclair.”

Everyone agreed, giving her glances and smiles.

“And Krieger. You’re going fifth.”

Ali’s jaw dropped. She didn’t expect to go. In fact, she figured that they’d pick Crystal. Everyone went to congratulate her when she jump up after Coach as they started to walk away. “Coach, wait!”

He turned. “What’s up, Kriegs?”

“Are you, um, are you sure that Crystal or someone wouldn’t be better suited or this?”

He chuckled at her nervousness. The other coaches left when he shooed them away and he leaned down towards his favorite defender, now star striker. “Look, you drill Erin after practice all the time. You mentally know how to get to Ashlyn. You’re the captain of our team. If anyone should take the fifth kick and bring this home for us, it’s you. I didn’t even have to hesitate, and you shouldn’t either. You can do this, Kriegs. It’s your senior year. You’re ready for that championship, and you have the heart to get it passed blondie no matter how much of a fight she puts up.” Coach straightened up, patting her on the back. “But if you’re 100% unsure, I can talk to the other girls.”

She instantly shook her head, knowing he was right. “No, I got it.”

“You want it?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “You’re right. This is my chance.”

He smiled. “Good, that’s what I like to hear.”

“CAPTAINS!”

Ali breathed and moved towards the refs, where she found only Ashlyn walking. Julie stayed put, talking to Jill and a few other players frantically.

Ali swallowed nervously.

They went through the regulations, UNC kicking first this time. Ashlyn nodded as the refs went over the rules, where to stand, what to do. And once they started to walk away, Ali and Ashlyn made eye contact.

“Good luck?” Ali asked.

Ashlyn nodded, no smirk. No smile. No cockiness. Just pure focus. “Yeah, good luck.”

They all moved towards the center circle as the keepers made their way down the half field towards the home goal. Ali watched Ashlyn’s movements, how she put her right glove on before her left, how she stretched her arms, how she glared at Erin until she thought that fire would come out of her eyes. She smiled at that. Ashlyn’s competitive spirit was what made Ali fall in love with her.

First up was Kelley. Upper right hand pocket. Almost impossible to stop for a goalkeeper.

Goal.

Then Marta. Lower right hand corner.

Goal. 1-1

Ali watched as Pinoe made her way up next, walking the entire way. Her focus was unreal, and as soon as she glanced up to Erin and took her steps back, Ali held her breath. She gripped Sinclair’s shirt tight. “Upper right hand pocket,” she called.

Goal.

Sinclair sighed. “Too bad you couldn’t have told Erin that.”

“She doesn’t know them like I do.”

“Yeah.” Sinclair kicked at the grass under their boots nervously. “I worry if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

They were on their fifth kickers. UNC’s very own Julie Johnston was walking up, Junior Captain, back line leader. She slowly put the ball down, and Ali smiled when she kicked it to the left bottom corner, where Erin had been diving the entire time. This time, she finally got a hand on it, and it bounced just enough to hit the post.

3-3

Ali had to make this. If she could, they’d win. Ashlyn had saved the last one, so she’d be on a high. But Ali noticed her look up and hesitate for a moment when Ali started to walk forward. Both players quickly recovered from their initial anxiety, only having one focus.

Ali: score.

Ashlyn: block it.

That was all that mattered. The brunette defender/striker put the ball down, taking a deep breath. She started to back up, to line up how she normally would, but she hesitated. Ashlyn could read her just like she read Pinoe. Both players knew that. Ali’s body language was something Ashlyn had memorized. So she did what she figured was best.

She stepped a bit to the right, taking a few extra steps as she lined up as a left footed kicker.

Ashlyn’s eyes faltered or a moment, a frown forming on her face. Ali could only picture what her teammates looked like, wondering why she took a risk like this. But one glance at Erin, who had been shot on constantly from Ali’s left foot, gave her confidence again. The keeper nodded at her from her corner, giving her a thumbs up.

Ali focused on nothing but the ball, the ref blew the whistle, she stepped forward, she cocked her leg back, and she fired.

And cheers erupted as Ashlyn’s hand managed to grab it, knocking it over the bar. Ashlyn didn’t get up quickly, didn’t celebrate. Because she knew. Ali knew. They both knew what the rest of the players didn’t pay attention to.

As soon as celebrations started, they ended when the refs called Ashlyn off the line and demanded a re-kick. Protests came from the UNC fans, but Ali could tell and so could Ashlyn.

It was the right call.

She went upper left on that shot, and Ali didn’t know if she should change it up this time. But her heart was pounding and she decided to just do what she felt like in the moment. Don’t overthink. Don’t hesitate. Don’t look at Ashlyn. Just focus and kick the fucking thing.

She lined up, closed her eyes for a deep breath, and –

“GOAL!”

Barely believing it, that’s how she felt. She scored on Ashlyn. She scored the final goal on Ashlyn. She beat her ex-girlfriend for the national championship. She looked up to see Ashlyn on the ground on her back and the girl sat up, slapping the ball away as it moved from the back of the net towards her again. Ali could read the disappointment on her face. But she never got the chance to focus on it.

HAO tackled her to the ground just as Ali turned to run to them, the entire team following as players dog piled their leader, cheers and yells going all around. Ali was squished at the bottom, smiling and laughing. She was champion. Her dream of being a national champion finally happened. No ACL, no transfer, no near death experience could take that away from her. She did it.

Emma, HAO, Carm, Sinclair, Marta, Crystal, Erin, Ella, Stephanie, everyone was just going crazy on the Penn State team as they cheered and celebrated. They had won. The fucking did it.

Ali smiled as she watched her teammates run around, jumping on each other, laughing and smiling. She kept a smile on as most of the UNC players that she remembered came towards her. She wasn’t sure what to do or how to handle it, but luckily HAO was there as well, many of their old players congratulating them.

Pinoe came up to her, roughing her fucked up pony-tail. “Kriegs, I hate you.” But she smiled at her, pulling her in for a hug. “But if we had to lose to anyone, I’m glad it was you. I mean, striker?” she pulled back, laughing. “Never would’ve called that one.”

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t see it coming either until a few days ago,” she laughed. Julie came up and they shared a ‘no hard feelings’ kind of talk, although the girl was clearly upset about the first PK. She smiled and laughed with everyone until a familiar hand touched her back and she didn’t even look before she turned and tucked her body into Ashlyn’s, their arms wrapping around each other.

“Congrats, Champ,” Ashlyn said softly, holding Ali tight and secretly kissing the top of her head.

Neither spoke after that for a while, cheers and yelling all around her. The two pulled back eventually, and Ali looked up at Ashlyn with tears in her eyes. The blonde panicked. “Ali, why are you crying?”

“Nothing,” she said, wiping the tears away. “I mean, I’m happy? I guess. You’re here, and it’s weird but you’re here and I’ve won and it’s just… emotional.”

“Al,” Ashlyn chuckled, touching her cheek with her hands. “You deserve this.”

She smiled, looking up into Ashlyn’s eyes. “You fucked up the first kick on purpose, didn’t you?”

Ashlyn shrugged guiltily. “Just trying to get in your head. You’re the one that pulled the lefty out on me. I had to do something to mess with your game.”

“Didn’t work, stud.”

“I noticed.” She smiled, even though it didn’t reach her eyes. “After the sore-loser in me dies out, we’ll talk about Thanksgiving. But right now, I think you might want to be a part of that.”

Ali followed where the blonde pointed, finding HAO and Carm hoisting the 5 gallon tank of Gatorade and dumping it on their coach who yelled and started throwing water bottles at them. She laughed.

Yeah, this calls for a celebration.

------------------

Ali woke the next day with a massive headache and a bit of exhaustion. Actually, a lot of exhaustion. Her body hurt from the game. Bruises and muscles were sore all over. And although they didn’t drink last night, she was still tired from staying out until four in the morning and waking up at nine to check-out. She was going to be so dead for the next couple hours.

Her head shifted to the other bed, where HAO was starting to wake and groaned. Both players were happy with the win, sad that season was over, but excited for Thanksgiving. It was a mix of emotions at the moment, and all Ali really wanted was one thing:

To see Ashlyn.

HAO sat up slowly, grabbing her right shoulder. “Remember when Kling sent me flying to the floor in the first half?”

Ali nodded. “Yeah.”

“I think she broke something.”

Ali chuckled, glancing at her friend. “I’m sure you’re fine. Probably just sore. Although that was a pretty hard hit. I wonder how Christine is doing.”

“She’ll be alright. We need to get up though.” HAO slowly stood, stretching her body with the loudest moans and groans Ali had ever head. “God, I’m exhausted.”

“I know,” Ali agreed. “But hey, it’s Thanksgiving in two days.”

“And were National Champions,” HAO beamed. “So, time to relax.”

“I second that motion.”

Both their conversations died out when their phones went off. Texts from family and friends had been coming in since the game ended, but Ali scanned through them all looking for one name in particular.

When she didn’t see it, she frowned.

HAO noticed, giving Ali a sideways glance. “No text from Ash?”

She shook her head. “No. I figured she’d text me by now. Not that she should… but I just, I don’t know.”

“Maybe she’s just busy?”

“I don’t know. I thought that–”

A knock at the door cut them off. Ali stood, slipping on a t-shirt to cover her sports bra and a pair of pants as she opened the door.

Kelley smiled at her, way too perky for nine in the morning after a National Championship. She was rocking back and forth on her heels, hands behind her back, looking put together in jeans and their team jacket from UNC. The last person that Ali ever expected was Kelley, and the fact that she was there was a little shocking.

But Kelley just smiled at her, no words. Nothing.

Ali eventually gave her a strange look. “Um, hi, Kelley. What are you doing here?”

“I have a request.”

Ali looked back to see HAO step out of the bathroom, looking just as confused. “Kelley?”

The girl raised her hand. “Hi, Heather. Good game yesterday.”

She looked just as confused, giving Kelley a small wave. “Um, yeah. Thanks.”

“What’s going on?” Ali asked skeptically. It was that she was unhappy to see the girl, but it was just strange timing.

Kelley leaned against the door casually. “So, I have this friend.”

Oh. “Ashlyn?”

“I didn’t say that.”

HAO stepped up beside Ali, amusement written all over her face. “Why do I feel like this is going to be hysterical?”

Kelley continued. “Anyway, I have this friend, and she’s amazing. She’s smart, and gorgeous, and funny, and caring, and kind, and athletic, and extremely attracted to a certain brunette that I know as well.”

Ali blushed slightly, looking down. “Kell, where is Ash?”

The defender for UNC just shrugged innocently. And at that moment, another person moved into view from the hallway. She was dressed similar to Kelly, in athletic clothing, and had a beaming smile on her face too. Ashlyn looked like the loss was gone, although Ali could see that she still wished UNC had won. But neither were going to let that get in the way, would they? No. they wouldn’t.

It was weird. Ali wanted to jump into Ashlyn’s arms, but she knew that it would send weird signals, she’d get a lecture for HAO, and it might be too fast. They were supposed to be friends. But if they were, why did Kelly go through that whole thing about being attracted to one another? What was all of this supposed to mean?

Ashlyn gave Ali a small smile, nodding towards HAO. “So, the two of us,” she pointed towards her and Kelley, “We’re going to get some coffee and figured we’d bring you guys back some. What would you like?” she looked at HAO. Ali opened her mouth but Ashlyn just smiled at her. “I know what you want, Ali. Don’t worry.”

The brunette blushed, again.

After they told the girls, Ashlyn and Kelly just left with smiles and promises to be back in twenty minutes. No hug. No kiss on the cheek. Just a soft smile and a nod, well except for the wink Ashlyn sent Ali.

HAO and Ali looked at each other after the door was shut. “What was that?” HAO asked.

“I don’t know,” Ali sighed. “But if Ashlyn is going to be like this for the next few days, I don’t know what to expect out of this vacation.”

HAO dropped on her bed. “You know something?”

“What?”

“They didn’t even tell us ‘congratulations’ for kicking their ass.” She grabbed the remote, switching the TV on with a fake pout. “How rude.”

Chapter Text

Later that morning, both teams had meetings and sign outs and this and that. After Ashlyn and Kell brought the coffee, the immediately took off after explaining their schedule. Neither team would be free until after lunch to go home, so Ali spent most of those hours freaking out.

HAO gave her so much encouragement, but also gave her so many warnings just in case. ‘Be careful. Don’t do anything stupid. Remember, nothing can really change in a week. That doesn’t mean you can’t be friends, but be wary about where you both are in your lives at the moment and don’t push for something when the timing is right.’

She had heard so many lectures from the rest of her team by the time they all made it outside the hotel. She said goodbye to Erin and Ella as they flew out to Erin’s place in Canada for the week. Ali hugged Emma and Mittsy and everyone until she was the final one there, and it was just as Heather was waving out of the cab that Ashlyn stepped out of her own, smiling at Ali.

The brunette didn’t hesitate this time. She didn’t bother to. She sprinted towards Ashlyn, dropping her bags at her feet as she jumped into the blonde’s arms.

Ashlyn laughed as Ali’s legs wrapped around her waist, ignoring the looks they were getting from other people. She spun the brunette around, Ali’s laughter becoming infectious of the onlookers. Eventually, Ali touched down on the ground again.

She just kept smiling though. “Hi,” Ali laughed.

Ashlyn raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Hi. You saw me like five hours ago, you know.”

“But now, it’s just you and me.”

Ashlyn hesitated a little. “Ali, look–”

“We’re just friends,” Ali finished. “And I get that. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the time that we spend together, just the two of us. And you finally get to see my family, and you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

Ashlyn grabbed Ali by the shoulders. “Ali, honey, breathe. For the love of God, breathe.”

She didn’t, blushing and laughing. “Okay, we need to go. My parents are probably going to have dinner ready soon so…”

Ashlyn nodded, grabbing Ali’s bags and putting them in the trunk. Ali missed that. She missed how Ashlyn took care of her, how caring she was. But she chose not to show it too much, and she just smiled before sliding into the cab.

They talked the entire way there over anything and everything. Ashlyn had Ali laughing until she was crying, and even the cab driver started to laugh when the blonde rapped perfectly to a few songs, making hand motions and all that. The driver just shook his head and went on with it anyway.

Their time alone was dwindling down as they started to approach Ali’s house. And once she made that announcement, Ashlyn started to panic.

“Okay, give me the rundown again. You’re mom as dad are divorced as of eight months ago–”

“So this is the first time we’ve been together since at a big family holiday. Now, don’t be weirded out. It’s not like it was a bad divorce. It’s really simple.”

Ashlyn nodded. “Okay, so, still call them Ken and Deb?”

“Yup.”

“And Kyle and Tom?”

“Still together. Still annoyingly adorable.”

“Did Kyle ever get any pants?”

Ali laughed at that. “No, not quite. He has plenty. Does he wear them? No.”

Ashlyn took a deep breath. “Okay.” Then she let her head drop to the rest behind her. “My heart is racing out of my chest.”

Ali dropped her hand to Ashlyn’s knee. “You don’t need to freak out. They’re excited to see you. I promise. Despite everything that’s been going on. My dad actually talks about you all the time.”

“Really?”

The cab stopped suddenly after that question, and Ali squealed as she saw Kyle running down the steps of the typical suburban home. He yelled at her as she jumped out and ran to him, locking her arms around her brother.

Ashlyn laughed before reaching into her wallet, pulling out about fifty bucks. “Here you go, buddy,” Ashlyn said, slipping the money to the drive.

He nodded but grabbed Ashlyn’s hand before she left. “You know, you two make a pretty good couple.”

Ashlyn, for the first time in a while, blushed. “Oh, no, we’re not–”

“Well, you should be,” he chuckled before letting her go.

She stepped out and grabbed her bags along with Ali’s while the brother and sister kept embracing each other. But when Kyle saw Ashlyn over Ali’s shoulder, he practically squealed and ran towards her, lifted her up as she dropped the bags. “I missed you, Ash,” he said quietly, only enough for Ashlyn to hear. “Seriously, you’re here and I can’t thank you enough for that.”

“Okay,” Ali yelled at them, giving them a smile. “I’m heading inside while you two catch up.”

She took off and Ashlyn looked at the bags on the floor with a sour expression.

"Are we expected to get those?"

“Yup,” Ashlyn sighed, picking up the first one. “What Princess wants, Princess gets.”

“Maybe for you.” Kyle groaned before stepping back with a smirk on his face. “That’s your job, not mine.”

---------------------------------------------------

When Ashlyn yelled at him, Kyle ended up helping her and she barely made it in the door before Deb grabbed her, wrapping her in a hug. She forced Kyle to take everything to Ali’s room, where the two were staying together. Ashlyn tensed at that idea, not sure if it was a good thing or bad thing that she’d be rooming with Ali.

It was nice, though. No one talked about the divorces, about Ashlyn’s mom’s passing, about different schools. They asked about the season, joked about the game and how Ali and Ashlyn were basically going at it the entire time. There was a little bit of gloating, but only enough for Ashlyn to tease back, not to get completely upset about it.

Overall, Ashlyn couldn’t have asked for something better. She couldn’t afford to head home again, and they didn’t have enough time for her to drive down there and make it worth it. So when Ali offered, she took it after talking to Whitney about changing plans. Her best friend was hesitant but just gave Ashlyn some advice before letting the blonde do her thing.

It wasn’t until later that night that Ashlyn had a chance to breathe. She was out on the back porch, just talked to Whitney. Chris called her to double check on her after the game again and to continue to congratulate her for making it that. Grandma wanted to have plenty of talks about Ali, of course. At least she knew they had landed back in Florida safely. And once Ashlyn finally hung up with her last phone call, she just kind of sat there, taking everything in.

She lost the National Championship.

She was here with Ali.

And she was completely lost on what to think about that.

The door opened a few minutes later, and Ashlyn didn’t look as somebody took a spot next to her on the stairs. But the silence was killing her and she looked up to see Ali staring out at the street.

Nothing was said for the longest time before Ashlyn just blurted out, “What are we doing?”

Ali shrugged, dropping her hands to her head. “You know, you fit in so well here. My family loves you. My brother adores you. Despite my parents and that mess, they both think that you’re amazing. My friends are your friends. It all just points for us to be together, you know.”

“Ali,” Ashlyn begged. “Everything may point that way, but we’re still seven hours apart.”

“What about after I graduate?”

Ashlyn sighed, pulling her legs to her chest and dropping her chin to her knees like a little kid. “I’d want that more than anything, but nothing can be reassured, you know? I mean, I don’t know where I’ll be after I graduate. Who knows what kind of job you get and where. There’s nothing that can reassure us.”

“What about this?”

Ashlyn turned, ready to ask what she was talking about, when Ali’s lips crashed to hers. Ali didn’t know why she did it, or what the point was, but she just couldn’t take it. She hadn’t been this close to Ashlyn for this long in over a year and a half. And this was just an instinct.

And she was shocked to feel Ashlyn kiss her back. Her breath hitched when Ashlyn’s hand cupped her cheek, when the blonde pulled her closer. She just wanted more, they both did, and Ali’s arms wrapped around her ex-girlfriend, almost begging her to continue.

A car drove by on the road, pulling Ashlyn back to reality and she pulled away. Not fast, not slow, but she just casually pulled away and sighed, dropping her hands from Ali.

The brunette could tell that something was wrong. “What is it?”

Ashlyn shook her head.

“Ash, you can talk to me.”

“Chloe told me that would happen,” she sighed, looking down at the steps and messing with a stray leaf. “She said that if we did this, if I stayed with you, something would happen. Something we can’t come back from. Whitney warned me of the same thing.”

Ali was quiet at that. It was something that Heather had told her as well, but for some reason…

“I couldn’t help it,” Ali whispered softly, almost sadly. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know what happens after this, if we’re friends or something else,” Ashlyn stated. That almost broke Ali’s heart, but Ashlyn continued. “But, that doesn’t mean I can’t love you while we’re here.”

Ali’s head whipped around. “What?”

“I’m not going to lie to you Ali,” Ashlyn said. she turned to face the other girl, one leg propped under her. “I’ve tried to move on. I’ve tried with other people, but it never lasted longer than a a month, if it made it that far. I just couldn’t do it. You’ve always been there, and I know that you always will be. I still don’t know about the distance but I know what it’s like without you and I don’t–”

Ali cut her off by yanking the girl towards her. She didn’t want to hear that ‘they can’t be together right now’ that ‘distance was still too hard’. She just wanted to feel Ashlyn. It had been too long, and it was like a drug. She needed it. She wanted it.

Was it healthy? Probably not.

Was it smart? No.

Was it going to be worth it? Yes.

Ali was absolute about that last one. She forced Ashlyn’s mouth open, who moaned when their tongues started to battle against one another. She leaned back as Ashlyn started to move to hover over her, the cold night hair was gone in the heat of the moment, and the chill bumps were no longer from the biting wind.

Ali fisted Ashlyn’s T-shirt, keeping the keeper immobile. Ashlyn let her, just as lost in the kiss as the brunette was. Her hands slipped under the brunette’s tank top and thick sweater, running across the skin of Ali’s side. She hadn’t been touched so softly, so carefully with so much craving in too long, and Ali only tightened her hold before Ashlyn spoke against her lips.

But it wasn’t understandable. “What?”

The blonde kissed for a few more seconds before pulling away. “Are we really doing this?”

“I want to,” Ali said with conviction. “My bedroom. Go.”

Ashlyn yanked the girl up and grabbed her hands. Ali’s family was further out by the bomb fire that Kyle had built up, so they couldn’t see them enter the house. They laughed when Ashlyn almost tripped up the stairs but as soon as they were in Ali’s bedroom, Ashlyn pinned her against the wall and all laughter died between the fire on their lips and the closeness of their bodies. Ali yanked Ashlyn’s mess of collared shirts and jackets off all at once, ripping the buttons as she pushed it down the blonde’s shoulders. Ashlyn was just as quick, and she swiftly dropped Ali on the bed, crawling over her with a desired glint in her eyes.

They stared at each other for the longest time. The longing, the dreamy look, the desire, the fire, and the past loneliness without each other was evident. Ashlyn breathed a shaky breath when Ali reached up and ran her fingertips over Ashlyn’s cheek. She leaned into the touch, closing her eyes.

“I love you,” Ali whispered.

Ashlyn smiled, pressing her forehead to Ali’s. “I love you too, Ali. I always have. I always will.”

Ashlyn pulled back after that, far back. Ali frowned when Ashlyn touched Ali’s side, where her new tattoos were. “Germany?”

Ali nodded. And then she reached up to Ashlyn’s side, and her arm, where her recent sleeve was completed, and her side was dancing in a mix of designs and drawings. “America?”

Ashlyn chuckled and nodded. “You know me so well.”

“Well, you know.”

“What does it mean?” Ashlyn asked in wonder, her fingers ghosting over the words. Ali squirmed under her, but answered her question anyway.

“One can see good with the heart, because what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

Ashlyn blushed at that, and then pointed to her arm, where “Liebe” was strategically drawn in intricate designs. “Ich liebe dich, Ali.”

The brunette’s mouth opened slightly. “You remember that?”

“How could I forget?” Ashlyn asked.

Ali couldn’t take it anymore and yanked Ashlyn down so hard that the girl lost her balance and ungracefully fell to her. They laughed at their lousy coordination. Ali managed to unbutton Ashlyn’s jeans, kissing the girl as they both stripped each other of the rest of their clothing.

She pushed Ashlyn over and slid over her, linking their fingers together as they relished in the feeling of each other’s bodies. Ashlyn brought Ali down to her, kissing her slowly until they both relaxed again. As her lips kept Ali distracted, she ran her hands slowly down the brunette’s body. She was almost there when she paused, causing Ali to whine.

“You’re sure?” Ashlyn asked one more time.

Ali nodded, her own hand sliding down Ashlyn’s body. “Absolutely.”

Chapter Text

Ali’s leg bounced on the back porch, a cup of coffee between her hands as the sun started to rise. She never even got to sleep. Ashlyn passed out four hours ago, but about two hours later Ali couldn’t take it. Her mind wouldn’t shut up and she slowly slipped out of bed and had been sitting outside ever since.

Kyle, the early riser that he is, made his way out as the colors started dancing across the sky. He had his own coffee and took the spot next to Ali on the bench, nudging her with his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

She wrapped her team jacket around her body even tighter, trying to close herself off. It wasn’t working as Kyle placed a hand on her knee.

“Ali, talk to me.”

“Ashlyn and I slept together,” she said in barely a whisper.

He didn’t say anything but wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into his jacket covered torso and yanking a blanket over them from the back railing. They just kind of sat there, watching the sunrise as it was through the trees and bushes of the backyard. Ali dropped her head to Kyle’s shoulder, taking in a deep breath.

“What am I going to do?” Ali asked desperately.

“What do you want to do?”

“I want you to tell me.”

Kyle tightened his grip on her. “You know, Ashlyn has always been good for you. You two can make this work.”

“Can we? She won’t do the distance thing.”

He frowned and kissed the top of her head. “That was eighteen months ago. Do you think she could’ve changed her mind? Maybe she’s scared to voice how much she’s changed.”

Ali shook her head. “She didn’t seem to act any different about it. Last night was just impulse, but she definitely mentioned it wasn’t a good idea because we would still have trouble actually being together.”

Kyle was quiet at that. Ali appreciated the silence though. He just held her as she processed everything that happened. And then, he laughed a little bit.

She frowned at him, pulling away. “What?”

“It’s just, you’ve been out here all night, just finished making love to your ex-girlfriend, and you still had to make sure your make-up was okay and you looked like a princess.” He shrugged, winking at her. “It’s one of the reasons I love you.”

Ali rolled her eyes, playfully shoving her brother. “Shove off, Kyle.”

“Come on, don’t be mad. It’s true. I don’t look that good after Tom has his way with–”

She covered her brother’s mouth as fast as possible. “Kyle, I don’t want to know.”

He chuckled and nodded.

In the early morning light, Ali started to finally function like a normal human being and started to feel awake, despite the fact her body was still sore from the game and she was even more mentally exhausted. But the coffee was working perfectly, and she managed to stand up, stretching her arms over her head.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, but when he had the realization, he sighed. “Early morning run?”

“Just to clear my head,” Ali nodded, grabbing her coffee cup and moving inside.

She slowly made her way through the house and to her own door, but she paused. Ashlyn was asleep on the inside, and she was nervous about seeing her. It wasn’t that kind of nervous, but Ali was scared how much she wanted to just be around Ashlyn. She had to be careful.

With a deep breath, she made her way into the room, quietly closing the door behind her. Ashlyn was still asleep on her stomach, the sheets down her lower back and her arms wrapped around a pillow that she hugged to her chest. Her blonde hair was a mess over the pillows and Ali had to swallow the desire to slide back into bed with her, with those new tattoos and everything. It was hard, but she quickly grabbed new clothes and changed before writing a note to Ashlyn about her run and slipping outside.

She leaned against the closed door that separated herself and Ashlyn. With her eyes closed and her hands against the wood, she finally had an epiphany:

She was seriously in so deep that she couldn’t swim out before she drowned. And she had no idea what to do with that information.

-------------------------------------

It was over an hour later that Ali made it back, sweaty and probably disgusting. She trudged up the house and opened it to bacon incensed room. She smiled at the smell and waved at her mom in the kitchen, who smiled back at her and mentioned that Ashlyn was awake. This caused Ali to falter but not enough for her mother to noticed, so she moved upstairs, nervous about the next five minutes.

But before she could answer, she heard Ashlyn’s voice through the door. Her curiosity got the best of her and she pressed her ear against the wood, listening in.

“Do you really want to know all of that?” Ashlyn asked, obviously irritated. Ali frowned but quickly realized that she was on the phone, pacing back and forth. “Well, you don’t get to. What happened is my business, not yours, and what happened between me and Ali is –… NO! I’m not that reckless… Okay, you know what, fine, I slept with her. Happy now? God, I don’t want to talk about it and you won’t shut up.”

Ali frowned at Ashlyn’s annoyed tone. Who was she talking to? And why did she say it like it was a burden?

“I don’t want to talk about the consequences. Can’t you just let me have this for one fucking day, Chloe? Just because your relationship is so fucking perfect, that doesn’t mean that everyone else’s is rainbows and sunshine, pardon the gay pun.”

The brunette wasn’t sure what this was supposed to mean. Was it a good thing? Bad thing? It sounded like a bad thing. Ashlyn was talking to Chloe, so at least it wasn’t someone that Ali didn’t trust. But still, she seemed snappy.

“No! Chloe, I’m not mad at you. It’s just… Look, I’m sorry.” Ashlyn seemed to pause, like she was trying to calm herself down. “I’m snappy at you and I’m sorry. It’s just Ali wasn’t here when I got up. Her mom said she took off for a run, and she only really does that when she needs to think. If she needs to think, it’s probably about last night and that’s never a good thing. She probably regrets it… Do I regret it? Are you seriously asking me that?”

Kyle opened his door and froze when he met Ali, who swiftly motioned for him to keep his mouth shut. He frowned and moved towards her, both siblings listening in.

“I would never regret being with her. Not just in that way, but in general. I love being around her,” Ashlyn continued. She seemed to finally stop pacing and probably sat on the bed now. “I know that I still love her but the distance thing is hard, Chloe. I can’t do it like you and Drew can. Two hours is a lot closer than seven. In case you forgot, I can barely afford to go out to eat, much less spend a hundred dollars on gas on the weekends. I can’t afford that, and Ali doesn’t deserve to have me turn her down because I can’t pay to see her… No, I’m not going to beg for her to drive every time. It’s not fair that–”

Before Kyle could stop her, Ali burst through the door, a sudden fury in her eyes. “That’s the problem?” she yelled at Ashlyn, who was sitting with the phone to her ear and wide eyes at Ali. “You won’t be with me because I’m too expensive? What the fuck, Ashlyn?”

“Um,” she said, talking to the phone. “I’ll call you back, Chloe.” Ashlyn dropped the phone, holding her hands up to try to calm Ali down. “Okay, that’s not what it sounded like. There’s more to it than just the money.”

“Really? Because it sounds like you don’t even care about me enough to try to work through something as simple as money.”

“It’s not simple!” Ashlyn shot back.

“Yes, it is!”

“No, it’s not!” Ashlyn’s voice was raised so much that Kyle slowly closed the door and neither girls even paid attention to it. They were fighting with a fire now. “Ali, not seeing you would be hard enough. And money isn’t simple and easy for someone who doesn’t have it. You don’t get it. You’ve always had it. You’ve never had a problem in affording anything because Daddy always gave it to you.”

Ali took a challenging step forward. “I’m not some spoiled brat, Ashlyn. Just because I have a bit of money doesn’t mean that I’m some punk who doesn’t understand the troubles of those that don’t.”

“It’s not something you just think you understand.”

Ali rolled her eyes. “I can understand, Ashlyn. God, I’m not some stubborn bitch who can’t put herself into someone else’s shoes.”

“You’ve never experienced it, that’s the problem. It’s a hell I never want you to go through either.”

"I could help you."

"I don't want that charity. You don't understand. Asking for help and feeling useless is the worst. You feel less independent, and there's this debt just hovering over you all the time. It eats you alive and drives you crazy. I'd rather live in a cardboard box than to feel like someone owns me. You may not get that, but it's like a disease you can't get rid of. I saw it happen to my family, and I don't want that to happen to me, especially to my relationship, Ali. I can't. I won't let it."

Ali was quiet at the sound of Ashlyn’s broken voice. This was uncharted territory for them. When they were together, Ashlyn never talked about money. Ali just knew that her family didn’t come from a lot, that they sometimes couldn’t afford to send her home for small Holidays, that she’d had to stay with Whitney on more than one occasion for Easter or Spring Break or Thanksgiving. It wasn’t new. But Ali didn’t know what to think.

Ashlyn turned away from her and moved towards the window, putting her hands on it.

Ali wasn’t sure what to do. The shift went from angry and aggravated to apologetic instantly, the atmosphere feeling like a complete one-eighty. She slowly walked forward, and she hesitated a bit but put her arms around Ashlyn from behind, pressing her forehead into the spot between the blonde’s shoulder blades.

Neither spoke until Ashlyn finally sighed a few seconds later. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

Ali pressed herself closer. “I shouldn’t have been listening in. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“It’s nothing Chloe hasn’t wanted to tell you for months. She’s been fighting with me about it recently anyway, pushing for me to be honest with you.”

“Why didn’t you ever talk to me about it?”

Ashlyn sighed and turned. Ali expected her to push her away, but the blonde wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close into a tight embrace. “I was worried.”

“About what?”

“That you would talk me out of it, that you would talk me into a relationship that wouldn’t work because of my stubbornness and determination, and it would’ve blown up into something that we’d never be able to recover from.”

Ali breathed into Ashlyn’s neck, relishing in the feeling as her arms tightened around her. “Who you are is the reason we would’ve worked, stubbornness and all. Besides,” Ali pulled back and gave Ashlyn a small smile. “You really think you’re the only stubborn one in this room?”

Ashlyn chuckled a little at that.

Ali wrapped her arms around her neck. “You know, I was talking to Kyle earlier today.”

Ashlyn looped her fingers around Ali’s back, holding her close. “What did he have to say?”

“We’re older now,” Ali started. “And we’re not the underclassmen we were when we dated. I’m about to go into the real world, and we’ve had time to think about our choices.”

Ashlyn nodded once. “I can agree with that.”

“I know we’ve only been back in each other’s lives physically for a few days now, but maybe we can start to get back to normal.”

Ashlyn playfully rolled her eyes. “Have we ever been normal?”

“No,” Ali laughed. “But let’s just take Thanksgiving for what it’s worth.” Ali leaned forward, pressing her forehead to Ashlyn’s. “And I’m thankful you’re here.” She tilted her head, hovering her lips over the taller girl’s own. “And we’ll focus on the rest later. Deal?”

Ashlyn kissed Ali in question, but pulled back after a few moments. “You know, you kind of smell like sweat.”

Ali rolled her eyes and laughed. “Like you don’t sometimes.”

“You need to shower.” The blonde playfully stepped away, wiping her hand in front of her face. “Jesus Christ, Ali. Did you go running at the dump?”

“Stop it,” Ali slapped her playfully. “I’ll shower if you shut up.”

Ashlyn smiled.

“And, if you’ll shower with me,” Ali added with a wink.

Ashlyn tensed but desire turned into her eyes. “You sure?”

Ali grabbed Ashlyn’s hand, pulling her into the bathroom. “Never been more sure in my life.”

Chapter Text

Ali’s eyes kept darting back to Ashlyn’s who sat on the couch while the Krieger Clan ran about. Thanksgiving Day had finally arrived, and over 15 of Ali’s closest family were surrounding the kitchen and living room. Ashlyn was in a deep conversation with one of Ali’s younger cousins, and he seemed to be so in deep about what the blonde was saying that Ali just wanted to watch and stare.

Her brother and her mother called her out about her antics for the past few days, but it was especially worse today. Kyle would nudge her and wink as he walked by. Her mother would give her knowing looks. Everyone knew that the two were back together…

But neither of the pair knew how long it would last.

“Ali!” Her mother yelled, catching her attention in the kitchen. Ali turned to see her mom rolling her eyes. “Can you stop staring and help me with the pie?”

“Mom,” Ali scolded.

“What? You are.”

“Stop,” she complained, blushing as her aunt started laughing with her mom. She just grabbed the ingredients, trying her best to ignore the jokes around her.

Her aunt smiled at her, nudging her hip. Her mother was so much like her sister that the two were basically identical. “Ali, sweetie,” her aunt said, “Ashlyn is great. Don’t worry. We tease you because we love you.”

“It’s not what you guys think.”

“Are you sure?” her aunt countered. “I know over the past few years you’ve talked about her, and you never lost that little spark in your eyes,” she said, tapping Ali on the cheek. “Just know that whether it takes another year and a half or if it’s now, I really think you two are meant to be together in the end.”

Ali was a loss for words as her aunt left the kitchen, but she brought out a smile as Ashlyn and her cousin, Matt, walked in, laughing and joking. “Ash,” Ali beamed.

The blonde smiled at her. “Hey, Matt and I are going to challenge Kyle to some two on two quick soccer, but,” she leaned against the counter by Ali, brushing the brunette’s hair out of her face, “We need a fourth player. Know where we can find one?”

“Hmm,” Ali tapped her own chin curiously. “I actually think I do. I heard that one of the stars of this particular family is a National Soccer Champion.”

Matt burst out laughing as Ashlyn glared at her. He held his hands up. “What? It’s funny.”

“Low blow, Ali.”

“It’s true. Someone is still a sore loser,” she chuckled, sneakily rubbing her hand down Ashlyn’s sweater and squeezing her fingers. “But sure, let’s go play.”

“So much for the help,” Deb said with some sass but obviously didn’t mean it.

Ashlyn smiled as she grabbed Ali’s hand, pulling her out of the kitchen with Matt close behind. “I’ll be on clean-up duty, Deb. I promise. Don’t you lift a finger.”

“Always the charmer,” Deb chuckled, going back to the abandoned pie Ali left on the counter.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Set up was simple and easy. Ashlyn and Matt vs Kyle and Ali, and even though Matt was only a senior in high school, it was getting intense between the semi-adults of the family.

Jokes and comments were passed back and forth the entire time. Kyle would tackle Matt to the ground. Ali would use her sexual abilities to mess with Ashlyn, which Kyle took complete advantage of while Matt just joked about throwing up.

Matt and Ashlyn made a pretty good team, and the boy seemed to be smitten with Ashlyn. Ali didn’t blame him, but he knew that the blonde didn’t exactly swing that way. It was amusing watch as they both would hug and congratulate each other whenever the Kriegers felt their wrath after a few goals, which they retaliated with quite speedily.

After about thirty minutes, the Krieger siblings came out with the win, and Ashlyn gave up as she collapsed to the floor, kind of sweaty in her jeans and sweater.

Ali leaned over her in the midday sun, blocking out the light and looking like an angel. “Hey, you tired?”

Ashlyn sighed. “Little.”

This was a sight to see. Ashlyn was open and wasn’t too hard to read, and Ali could stare at her in the sunlight all day long. “I’m sorry you lost.”

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “Are we talking about backyard soccer or the National Championship? Because I know you’re not sorry for either.”

Ali chuckled, fixing her pony-tail before sitting down next to Ashlyn and lying with her head on her… she was going to say girlfriend but that’s not what Ashlyn was. Now that she was thinking about it, everyone in the house considered them together, and they acted like it, but they never talked about it. Talking about it would mean that they’d have to face facts, and they just wanted to enjoy this short time together.

Ashlyn’s hand grabbed Ali’s and brought it to her face, playing with her fingers as the brunette lied her head on the blonde’s stomach. “This has been amazing.”

Ali turned her head towards Ashlyn, pressing her cheek into the girl’s sweater as the air cooled them drastically. “I think Matt has a little crush on you, by the way.”

“Maybe, I gave him a few pointers with a girl at his school though. I think he just dreams to be as charming as me. It’s more of idolization.”

“You taught him your secrets?”

“Harris Charm 101,” Ashlyn said, sitting up. Ali shifted until she was lying her head in Ashlyn’s lap, the blonde’s hands still playing with Ali’s.

“Well, it works sometimes.”

“Excuse me. How do you think I got you?” Ashlyn teased, giving Ali the softest eyes she’d ever seen.

Ali was quiet for a moment. Ashlyn’s gaze caused her to think like she dreamed again and she couldn’t stop herself from saying, “You know, my family wants us to get back together permanently.”

Ashlyn tensed but Ali just stared at her as the blonde looked out in the distance. “Yeah, Matt and a few of your cousins have said some stuff to me about it. They’re pretty… adamant about the idea. Well, except your uncle.”

“Yeah, well, he doesn’t talk to me or Kyle since we’ve come out. He’s not comfortable with the gay thing.”

“I noticed when he glared at me and walked passed me when I introduced myself,” Ashlyn said with a bit of hurt. “But, I mean, that’s not the first time I was shoved aside for being who I am.”

Ali sat up, leaned forward, and pressed her face into Ashlyn’s neck. Even after all this time, she still smelled the same, felt the same. Maybe she was a little more built, but it was about the exact same too. “You know that you never have to worry about who you are with me or my family that loves you. Screw my Uncle, you’re already part of the family according to everyone else. And you know your family loves you.”

Ash nodded, her hands tracing slowly around Ali’s back. “Well, my family that’s still alive.”

Ali didn’t move, didn’t know what to say.

So Ashlyn continued. “Sometimes, I wished I would’ve fixed things with her, you know? Explain some things but I also know that it wouldn’t have changed anything. She was stubborn and frustrating never would’ve accepted me, so maybe it’s best that she passed when she did.”

Ali pulled back finally, pressing her forehead to Ashlyn’s. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m thankful that you’re at least here with me and my family, and your mom just didn’t realize how special and amazing you really are.”

Ashlyn nodded, closing her eyes. “I know that now.”

They were quiet as they held each other for a while. No words, no movements. Until Ashlyn suddenly moved, pressing her lips to Ali’s for a few seconds before pulling away. “Sorry, I just had to.”

“I don’t mind,” Ali laughed, kissing Ashlyn again. “You know that you can kiss me whenever you want.”

“But–”

“You can,” Ali emphasized, kissing her one more time to prove it. “Because I’m still yours, Ash. That’s never going to change.”

Ashlyn nodded, looking down at the ground. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah. Anything.”

The blonde moved until the two were no longer on top of each other but side by side. She pulled her legs to her chest, ripping a piece of grass in between her fingers. Ali was dying to know what was going on in her head.

Ashlyn looked trouble, but Ali had no idea what to think so she waited patiently, wondering what the blonde was pondering. “It’s been over a year since we were together, aside from these past few days,” Ashlyn said. She ripped at a bit of the grass between her hands before she finally turned to Ali again. “Does it feel like it never really ended to you?”

That was something Ali had been dying to hear. “It never did end for me, Ash. You’ve always been there, friendship or whatever I needed. So yeah, it never felt like it ended because it never actually ended.”

Ash smiled but didn’t look up.

Ali took the initiative and scooted closer, moving Ashlyn’s head to look at her. “Can I ask you something now?”

“Yeah. Anything.”

“Can we make the distance work? At least for six or seven months? Do you think we could work it out until I graduate?”

Ashlyn’s eyes never lost their spark as Ali looked into them. “You know, I wasn’t one hundred percent about that, but letting you be on the market is the last thing I want.”

Ali beamed. “Is that?...”

Ashlyn just smiled and moved until she was kneeling in front of Ali, looking studious and confident. “Alexandra Krieger, will you be my girlfriend?... Again?”

“Oh my god, yes!” Ali yelled, jumping into Ashlyn’s arms until the fell backwards in the grass, laughing with each other.

They didn’t kiss or move, just held each other as Ali’s laughter died out and Ashlyn’s hands started to trace patterns on her back. This was a moment they’d waited on for a while, and Ali knew that she’d have to talk to Ashlyn about details and especially the money issue that she was so nervous about, but those were petty things to worry about when it was someone you were in live with.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The rest of the day, they still held back but Ali was sure that her family could tell that something changed between lunch and dinner. She couldn’t stop smiling, kept gravitating towards Ashlyn, and it was to the point that she couldn’t stop herself. It just happened.

They were all sitting in the living room watching the football game when her mother called her out on her. She was sitting in Ashlyn’s lap, not being shy or conservative at all. So that was the first time.

Kyle called her out when he noticed the two holding hands under a blanket.

Her cousin, Matt, made a joke when they both came back from the bathroom at the same time, what a coincidence.

Her aunt teased them every time they seemed to get caught in their own conversations in the corner or in their own world.

Ali loved it. Not only the attention from her family or from Ashlyn, which she was secretly loving more than anything, but it was just the idea that she could be whoever she wanted now. For the longest time, her feelings for Ashlyn were bottled up since they broke up, and now she can finally let it back out again. Holding back even for five minutes seemed impossible the last few days, and now, it was probable that Ali could have what she wanted.

She stood from her spot in Ashlyn’s lap eventually, pulling the blonde with her. “Come on, I want to show you something.”

Ashlyn followed without question, and no one said anything to them as they left. Ali walked towards the front door, Ashlyn following behind her, until she finally sat on the steps like they did on the first day. “Sit down.”

Ashlyn did, giving Ali a strange look. “Is everything okay?”

“I just wanted some time with just you,” Ali said. She dropped her head to her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Without my family staring and smirking like they wanted to say ‘I told you so’.”

“For the record, your brother said those exact words to me.”

“Of course he did.” A gust of wind came through, causing Ali to scoot closer to Ashlyn. The blonde smiled and wrapped an arm around Ali, pulling her in. “Thank you for coming, by the way. I know it was fast, and sudden, but you came to spend time with my family and I can’t be more thankful to have you back in my life.”

“I never meant to leave, Ali. That wasn’t the intention when we broke up. It was just–”

“You know what I mean. Away from our other friends, away from the weird calls when we didn’t know what to say to each other, or how everything we wanted to say seemed forbidden. It was hard, but you were still there for me if I really needed you. I’m just glad to have you back.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just the sex?” Ashlyn teased, kissing the top of her head.

Ali looked up. “Well, it might be a perk.”

“Just a perk?”

“You may have to remind me,” Ali said with a sly smile a shrug. “I mean, last time didn’t make any impression or anything.”

Ashlyn’s jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

Ali laughed as the blond tackled her to the floor of the porch, sliding over her and glaring at her.

“Not an impression, huh?” Ashlyn said, brows furrowed. Ali knew that look. She was coming up with ideas, and that could mean great things for Ali… or bad. “Fine.”

“Whatever you’re thinking, no.”

Ashlyn shook her head. “You’ve already said it. You brought this on yourself,” she said with a sultry look as she connected their lips.