Chapter Text
If you would have asked Stede Bonnet where he saw himself in twenty years when he was fresh out of college, he certainly wouldn’t have guessed that he would be newly divorced and trying to navigate co-parenting his two children with his ex wife and her new boyfriend at forty-three years old, but… here he is.
Life has a way of throwing you curveballs when you least expect them. That might be the point of a curve ball, but still. Some of them come as a pleasant surprise, like having children, falling in love, finally finding the thing that you’re passionate about at twenty-five years old, shifting career paths and feeling as if you’ve received a second shot at life, the list goes on and on.
Some curveballs make you feel like you’re close to striking out, like moving to a new city only to have the rug ripped out from under you and lose your job within a year, or the loss of a parent, or a divorce.
But nothing could prepare Stede for the curveball that his ex wife throws at him one crisp fall Saturday morning, when he arrives to pick up his children for the weekend.
“Alma! Louis!” Mary calls up the stairs from the doorway of the Greenwich Village townhouse that she and Stede used to share, “Your dad is here! Hurry up!” Six months removed from finalizing their divorce, it still feels a bit strange to stand at the front door of the place that he used to call home and knock, but Stede has started to acclimate to it.
So have the kids, apparently, as he can hear them giggling away with Doug, Mary’s not-so-new boyfriend, whom they’ve certainly taken a liking to. Stede doesn’t feel jealous, though. If anything, he feels a sense of gratitude and calm, knowing that Alma and Louis have another good man in their lives, that he can trust someone as kind and caring as Doug with his kids.
“Do you want to come in?” Mary asks, turning back to Stede with a bemused smile. It’s funny, really. Stede never realized how much Mary didn’t smile in recent years until they split up, until he realized that they’d be much happier apart. She looks good now. Relaxed. At ease. Stede supposes he feels that way most of the time, now, too, albeit a bit lonely when Mary has the kids.
Stede can hear the TV playing loudly behind Mary, can hear the telltale stomp of feet upstairs and a shriek from Alma as her little brother likely does something to get on her nerves. He grins. “Might as well. It’ll probably be a few, won’t it?”
Mary huffs a laugh and steps aside to let him in. “Per usual.”
The house is the same as he left it in many ways - Saturday morning cartoons on the television, the smell of breakfast wafting from the kitchen, shoes kicked off in the doorway and some of the children’s belongings scattered about - but it’s different, too. Photos of the kids still hang in the hallway, but the family and wedding photos have been removed from the walls. Mary and Doug purchased some new furniture after Stede moved out and decorated much of the house with a collection of her paintings, his photography, and works from some of their favorite artists and peers. It feels warm. Much warmer than it ever felt when Stede lived here. It’s bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter, nowadays.
“Coffee? Tea?” Mary asks as Stede follows her into the kitchen.
“Hi dad!” Louis yells as he sprints through the room, sliding in his socks on the hardwood floor as he rounds the corner into the living room. Alma is hot on his heels, screaming -
“I’m going to kill you, I swear!”
“Tea, please. Thank you,” Stede replies with a smile before adding over his shoulder, “Alma, you can’t kill your brother before we go to the zoo! I’ve already purchased the tickets!”
“I should have warned you before you got here,” Mary tells him with a roll of her eyes as she fills the kettle, “It’s been… an interesting eighteen hours.”
Stede raises his eyebrows. “Oh?”
“Alma’s grade started sex education yesterday,” she explains, “Louis feels left out. And they both demanded that Doug and I tell them everything about our relationship.”
“Sounds… fun,” Stede retorts with a shudder. He nods towards the direction of the sound of the kids’ bickering, “Is that what this is all about?”
“He’s been stealing the pamphlets that she got in class and reading them out loud,” Mary explains, setting a cup of tea down in front of Stede. “And I’m sure you’ll get the third degree as soon as they have you alone, too. So… have fun with that.”
Stede takes a sip of his tea, and if he grimaces at the taste, he can at least blame it on what she just told him instead. Mary has always made it a bit strong, but it’s the thought that counts, right? “Thanks for warming them up for me,” he jokes back, which earns another laugh from his ex.
“You doing alright?” She asks, swiftly changing the subject as the giggles and screams in the other room seem to die down. “Settling in?”
“Mary, I moved in almost five months ago - I’m settled,” he insists.
She hums, sipping her own tea. “So if I ask the kids on Monday, they’ll tell me you’ve unpacked all of your boxes, right?”
Stede feigns shock. “You’d weaponize our own children against me?”
“You’re lucky I haven’t already,” Mary retorts, as quick witted as ever, shooting him a smirk that tells him that his response was all she needed to hear.
He deflates a little bit at that, shaking his head. “Yes,” he insists, “I’m settling in well. I’ll admit, it was odd, living alone again for the first time in nearly twenty years at first. But the apartment and the neighborhood are both lovely. Please thank Evelyn again for helping me find the place.”
“Oh trust me, it was her pleasure,” she teases back, shooting Stede a knowing look. They both vividly remember Evelyn telling him that he needed to get his own place before Mary killed him in his sleep. Her tone sobers a little bit, however, when she adds, “I’m glad to hear it, though. We worry about you.”
Stede snorts out a laugh and almost makes a self-deprecating comment about how his ex wife and new boyfriend are worried about him, but before he gets the chance, his eldest child is marching into the room and wrapping her arms around Stede’s middle, muttering into his shirt, “Can we leave Louis at the zoo?”
Stede hums. “Where do you think he’d fit in best? The monkeys? Maybe the penguins?”
“Throw him in with the lions for all I care,” Alma’s muffled voice retorts, and at that, Stede gently extracts himself from her grip.
“Why do you want to feed your brother to the lions?” Stede asks gently, brushing her hair out of her face, his heartstrings tugging when she pouts up at him, despite her murderous intentions.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” she retorts, suddenly quite stoic and stubborn, and when Stede glances to Mary for help, she simply shrugs and mouths an apologetic, told you.
“Sweetheart, you know you’ll have to talk about it eventually,” Stede crouches down to the twelve-year-old’s eye level, even as she averts her own eyes. “What do we always say?”
Alma sighs dramatically, but concedes, grumbling, “Talk it through…”
“As a crew!” Stede finishes chipperly, booping her gently on the nose even as she swats him away. “Now come on, grab your things! We’ve got an exciting weekend ahead of us!”
Only slightly less melodramatic, Alma marches off to do as she’s told, leaving Stede alone with Mary for a few moments once more. “Good luck,” she tells him, “And if she asks you any questions about yesterday -”
“Honesty is the best policy, I know, de-” Stede cuts himself off before the word ‘dear’ leaves his lips, a force of habit. And thankfully, if Mary catches onto it, she lets it slide.
By the time they arrive at the zoo, the children thankfully seem to have forgotten that morning’s bickering and instead, Stede finds himself being dragged every which way by Alma and Louis as they both rattle off facts about specific creatures. Louis, like any nine year old boy, is immediately drawn to the bears and leapords, while Alma, much like her father, is drawn to the less… classic animals, searching high and low for fruit bats and reptiles.
By mid-afternoon, as the trio make their way through the sea lion exhibit and towards Stede’s personal favorites - the penguins - Mary’s warning from the morning is a long forgotten memory. Ever since leaving the house, the kids (for the most part) have been on their best behavior, and despite what Mary said, they haven’t begun grilling him the second that they got him alone.
All of that changes, however, once they arrive at the penguin exhibit.
Louis is quick to practically press his face to the glass in hopes of having a moment with one of the flightless birds, but Alma curiously sticks by Stede’s side as he watches from afar. He almost questions her on it, but before he gets the chance, she’s seemingly back to spouting animal facts.
“Did you know that penguins mate for life?” she asks, looking up at Stede rather innocently.
Stede hums, “Do they?” He knew that already, but hearing his daughter’s excitement is one of the best things about being a parent, so he lets her continue “teaching” him new things.
He regrets it, however, about five seconds later.
“So do owls, and wolves, and seahorses…” Alma continues, and by the time that she names the fourth animal, Stede begins to suspect that she’s not just rattling off facts anymore. She has another motive. “And beavers, and even pigeons, dad. Can you imagine that every single pigeon in New York City has a mate waiting for them at home? That’s crazy, right?”
Choosing his words carefully, Stede turns to his daughter and says, in his most encouraging tone, “That is crazy, I didn’t know -”
“What’s even crazier is that humans can’t seem to figure out the concept of mating for life,” Alma interrupts, and ah, there it is. “Did you know what almost half of all marriages end in divorce? Half. Pigeons have it figured out better than people. ”
Ouch. What Stede hears is pigeons have it figured out better than you.
“It sounds like you’ve been doing some creative googling,” Stede remarks, rather than letting his daughter’s words get to him.
She shrugs. “We learned about sex in school yesterday.”
“So I heard,” Stede replies. “And that lead to… researching animal mating habits?” He might be quick-witted, but sometimes even he struggles to keep up with his daughter, and it might be frowned upon to ask the twelve-year-old outright, “What are you getting at, here?” So Stede lets her come to him.
“No - well, yes,” she sighs. “They just - they talked a lot about… waiting for the right person, and that got me thinking about you and mom, and that made me wonder about divorce statistics, and then -”
“-animals that mate for life,” Stede finishes for her, following her train of thought. It’s not quite a straight line, but she’s his daughter, after all.
At that, Stede crouches down in front of her, offering her a warm smile. Now is not the time to sugar coat things. Beneath her practical and tough exterior, Stede knows that the divorce wasn’t easy for Alma, and she’s clearly looking for a way to understand it better. “I think it’s a little more complicated than that, when it comes to humans,” he explains. “With animals, it’s about… well, having babies. With people it’s about…”
“Love?” Alma supplies, her hazel eyes twinkling a little bit with the word.
“Yes, it’s about love,” Stede agrees, “And unfortunately, sometimes, that complicates things. People can fall out of love, they can want different things, they can fall in love with someone else…”
“Like mom and Doug, I know,” Alma says with a nod.
“Like mom and Doug,” Stede agrees. “So it’s a little more challenging than simply… mating for life. And I’m not sure what your teacher discussed, but it’s not wrong if you don’t find the right person right away. Do you think all of these penguins found their mate on the first try?”
Alma huffs out a little laugh at that, the tension clearly broken between them. “No, I guess not.” Her expression turns thoughtful after a moment, though, and before Stede stands back up again, she asks, “But you and mom were in love once, right?”
“Oh honey,” Stede offers her a warm smile, “Of course we were. You and your brother wouldn’t be here if we weren’t. And I still love your mother, but -”
“Just not in that way,” Alma finishes for him again, “I know, she said the same thing.”
“Oh really?” Stede asks, “So you talked to her about this, too?”
“Yep!” Alma says, her tone turning more chipper with every word. “She told me about how she and Doug fell in love, too. It was a really cute story.”
“I’m sure it was,” Stede says, ruffling her hair as he stands back up, even as she shoves his hand away.
“I asked her to tell me the story about how you guys fell in love,” She continues, even as she trots after Stede as he begins walking towards where Louis wandered off to, “But she told me you’d be better at telling it.”
And ah, there it is. The reason why Mary had warned him. The reason why she asked Stede to be honest with Alma. She knew that this conversation was going to happen. Even as he reminds himself to call his ex later and thank her for throwing him under the bus, Stede raises his eyebrows, shooting her a look. “Did she, now?”
“Yep! So you have to tell me!” Alma insists, “No excuses!”
And somehow, Stede knows there’s no way that he’ll be getting out of telling that complicated story.
“It’s a long story, sweetheart,” Stede tells Alma that night after dinner, when she once again requests to hear about how he and Mary fell in love. They’re sitting in the living room of his new apartment in the Upper East Side, some wildlife documentary playing in the background while Louis lounges next to them, playing something on his Switch.
“I like long stories,” Alma insists, “I just started reading The Hobbit.”
“One of my favorites,” Stede remarks with a smile, “But this one is… a bit more complicated than The Hobbit.”
“What can be more complicated than embarking on a quest with thirteen dwarves to reclaim their home from a dragon?” Alma asks, which earns a raised eyebrow from her father. “What? I watched the movie first. I know what it’s about.”
Stede sighs, “Alma -”
“Look,” she says, adjusting on the sofa so that she’s facing him, her legs crossed under her. “I know you already said that love is complicated. I get it. But I’m twelve. I think I can comprehend it.”
“Word of the day?” Stede asks, offering a smile at Alma’s use of comprehend.
“Nope, word of the day is deflect,” she retorts smugly, “Which is exactly what you’re doing right now.” She pats his knee, as if she’s his parent trying to coax something out of him and insists, “Come on! I like a good story.”
Stede sighs, knowing that there’s know way around this. Alma is going to insist on hearing this story until he finally tells it, so he tries to formulate one that is as simple as possible, one that doesn’t look too deep into his past, or drag up too many long-buried emotions. “Fine, alright,” he concedes, “But maybe before bed? I doubt Louis wants to hear all of this -”
“Mom told me her story!” Louis insists from where he sits on his end of the sectional, looking up from his game, “I wanna hear yours too!”
“Alright, alright,” Stede says with a shake of his head, reminding himself to tell Mary that she owes him when he sees her next. He takes in the expectant faces of his children and tries to formulate a way to tell a years-long, complicated, emotional, winding story within just a few sentences to satiate them and get them off of his back.
“You mom and I met when we were just kids,” he explains, “Her dad and my father worked together, and we would always see each other at get-togethers…”
Stede remembers meeting Mary for the first time as a child, stuffed into too-fancy clothes at some swanky corporate party at one of his father’s many rental properties in LA. They gravitated to each other quickly, being the only two children of the same age there, and despite their differences, they became fast friends. That was really the only way that Stede made friends as a child - by socializing with the children of his father’s employees and coworkers.
What he doesn’t tell his own children is that he was much too young to be romantically interested in Mary when they first met, and even when they did begin dating in high school, it was because his parents encouraged him to ask her to prom - not because they were in love by any means.
But that’s not what they want to hear.
“I gathered the courage to ask her to prom when we were in high school, and we dated for years after that - all throughout college, until I eventually moved here -”
“Woah, woah, wait -” Alma stops him. “You and mom broke up once before?”
Stede nods, “Like I said, sweetheart, love can be complicated.”
He continues, “Anyway… your mom moved to Denver, and I moved out here, and for a couple of years, we were just friends. But, well… I suppose it was meant to be, because lo and behold, she eventually moved to New York, too, and we started seeing each other again - it turns out we still loved each other very much - and eventually I asked her to marry me, and the rest is history!”
For a moment, the room is quiet, and Stede foolishly thinks that’s that. He gave the kids an abridged version of how he and Mary ended up together, and hopefully it’ll satisfy them.
That is, until Alma finally speaks.
“That was quite possibly the lamest -”
“Alma!”
“- saddest excuse for a love story I’ve ever heard!” she exclaims, sitting up straighter on the sofa, fixing Stede with a determined look, “Where was the emotion? Where was the storytelling? Come on, dad! I know you’re better at telling stories than that!”
“Yeah! She’s right!” Louis agrees, Switch long forgotten next to him, “You always tell the best bedtime stories! Come on!”
“Guys -”
“Nope,” Alma crosses her arms, “I refuse to accept this story. I want to know everything. You skipped so much!”
“Alma, it’s really -” Stede starts to say it’s really not that important, but he thinks better of it. It is rather important, isn’t it? It’s part of his life. It’s part of their life. He softens, asking, “This is really important to you, isn’t it?”
“It is!” Alma exclaims, “I want to know what it was like when you and mom first fell in love. How did it feel? And did you break her heart when you moved? And years?! Dad, that’s a long time - did you - oh my god, did you date other people before you got back together?”
Bingo. Stede hesitates for just a split second at the question - did you date other people? - and Alma is like a shark. She smells blood in the water.
“You did, didn’t you?” she asks, her grin turning something wicked, “Yep, this is the story I wanna hear. The real one.”
For a split second, Stede contemplates every way he could weasel his way out of this, how he could skim over details, sugarcoat things, make it easy to digest. But then, he remembers his conversation with Mary earlier in the morning.
Honesty is the best policy.
These are his kids. They’ll quit witted and smart as hell. They’ll be able to tell if he’s lying, and Stede never wants to give them a reason not to trust him.
So he takes a deep breath, and goes back in time.