Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Having anxiety about life’s horrendous situations was not new to Illari. Processing her emotions about another mistake happening again. She felt oddly queasy at the thought. It didn't help that she had been nauseous for the past day or so, laying in her bed under the covers, hiding from the world. With a deep sigh, Illari got out of her bed. The rays of sunlight peeking through the curtains helped to shake off some of the stiffness in her joints.

While getting herself ready for the day she came to the hard decision to go see Angela, the head doctor on base, to get checked out. Although terrified at the potential outcome, she wanted to get ahead of the situation as soon as possible. On her way out of her dorm room, she had gotten a text from a friend asking if she was ok since they hadn't heard from her. She rolled her eyes with a blushing smile at the message. He considered anything outside of their special meetings as being away from her for too long. What started as simple “hi’s” and quick glances at each other turned into them sneaking into each other's room late at night. They hid their feelings for each other from friends and family in fear of retaliation. With that thought Illari was somber once again. She told him she was ok and asked if he was as well.

She has made her way through the base to the medbay fairly quickly. Walking through the door, she saw Angela and Kiriko having a conversation. They quickly noticed her and waved her over to talk.

“How are you, Illari? It's been awhile since I've been able to actually talk to you,” Angela asked her with a warm smile.

“I have been fine, but I did come to speak to you about a problem,” Illari answered. Her nausea was slowly coming back. Angela’s eyebrows shot up, “Of course! I have just the place for us. Kiriko, if you'll excuse us,”

Kiriko had headed off to finish her duties while Angela led Illari to her office. The two sat across from each other and Angela settled into her chair a bit more, crossing her legs.

“Now, everything that happens in this room, stays in this room and I will not discuss any of this with anyone else unless you give me permission to do so,” she said. “What can I do for you Illari?”

The room was now quiet. Illari felt her pounding harder and harder with every passing second. She looked at the woman across from her and her throat went dry.

“I… I…,” Illari couldn't say her problem and wanted to cry so badly. Every breath making her eyes and nose sting with the threat of tears, she finally spoke.

“I think I'm pregnant,” She said faintly. It was taking everything in her to not break. Angela had a small look of surprise on her face but made no comment.

“Have you missed a period yet?” Angela asked Illari. The young woman nodded, “Two of them,”

“Did you use protection?”

“No,”

“Okay, follow me,” Angela said while standing up. They walked up to a cabinet where Angela pulled out a clear, small jar and permanent marker and handed them off.

“Write your name on top of this, pee in the cup, leave it in the bathroom and I'll meet you back in my office with test results,” Angela told her. Illari took the items and did as instructed. As she waited for the results in the office, she went deeper into her thoughts. Could she be a mother given what she's done? The lives she’s taken, even if it were accidental. How would he react? Would he leave her in shame and disown their baby? Would she get kicked out of Overwatch for this? There's no place for a pregnant person to be fighting off omincs and Talon. Hell, how would her fellow members treat her once they found out? Would they avoid her? Whisper behind her back? They don't understand though. None of them get her like he does. None of them understand, feel, or live with this pain like they do. She was silently beginning to spiral into the abyss again.

The door opened and caused Illari to jump a bit. If Angela noticed, she didn't say anything and sat down. The air shifted once she entered and Illari could feel it instantly.

“Your test results came back positive,”

For Illari, time stood still. She couldn't believe it. She had fucked up her life once and had done it again in less than a year. She clenched her hands into tight fist as she began to shake, tears on the brim of her eyes ready to fall. Inhaling deeply and exhaling shaking was just a build up for the inevitable. She erupted into sobs. Angela walked over the girl and began rubbing her back.

“Let it all out,” She said softly. Illari couldn't help herself even though she so desperately wanted to stop. She had cried so much within the past six months. Her heart was heavy and tired from the emotional baggage she was lugging around. Wiping her eyes and blowing her nose with a tissue that was provided to her, she had calmed down.

“You have options, Illari, and remember no one can make any decisions on what you do with your body. You have my full support no matter what you choose,”
Illari gave a small nod.

“Do you know the father?” Angela asked which earned her a dirty look she hadn't expected.

“Yes,”

“Did you tell him you might be pregnant?”

“No,”

“Do you feel safe enough to tell him that you're pregnant alone?” Angela asked and got another odd look.

“Yes,”

“Do you mind telling me who the father is?”

Illari took a pause, “I'd rather not,”

Angela nodded, “Okay. Have you had any symptoms? Nausea, vomiting, lethargic?”

“Nausea,”

“Just nausea?”

Illari nodded.

“Do you have a small idea of what you want to do?”

Illari sighed, “No, I need some time to think,”

“Please get back to me soon, though. The faster you have a decision the quicker we can get everything together,” Angela told her. “You are free to leave or you can sit and talk to me if you want to,”

Illari thanked her and got up to leave.

__________

Genji sat in his chair as he played a video game. It wasn't particularly action packed but it was holding his attention which was enough for him. Zenyatta hovered on the other side of the room, meditating. He also had his brother there which was a rare occurrence in and of itself.

“Brother, are you playing The Sims?” Hanzo, his brother asked.

“Is that a problem, brother?” Genji responded.

“No, I play myself and did not know that you do as well,” Hanzo announced

This caused Genji to turn around and look at his older sibling. Unnoticed, Zenyatta began to pay attention to the conversation.

“You play The Sims?” Genji asked skeptically.

“And I play Animal Crossing. I have a resort on my island, actually,” Hanzo answered proudly. Genji silently nodded and turned around.

“There is much I do not know about you,” Genji said.

“Indeed, brother,” Hanzo said. They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Hanzo got the urge to talk again. He didn't know what came over him but he was in a good mood today.

“Genji, may I ask you something?” Hanzo asked.

“Of course, what is it?”

“How do you feel about older men dating younger women?”

Genji once again turned to face brother, this time with a surprised expression. “Wow, you date women? I thought you and Cole had that thing going on,”

Hanzo instantly began to blush and started to stutter. “M-me and Cole had no s-such t-thing! I would never!”

“Genji, your brother is trying to open up to you. You shouldn't taunt him,” Zenyatta said.

“Thank you, Zenyatta,”

“Alright, alright,” Genji said with a chuckle. “Well, to answer your question, I think it depends on the age gap. In your situation, at 40 years old I think anyone under 25 is too young. How old is she?”

Hanzo took a pause. He knew his secret person was much younger than him but he hadn't realized how big the gap was until Genji put it that way. She did tell him her 18th birthday was mere weeks before she joined Overwatch. 18 and 40? How would people look at him? Would they think he's taking advantage of her? Is he taking advantage of her? He was the one who initiated after all.

“Uhh, I think she's 30? I know she's at least 10 years younger than me,” Hanzo said. A lie but he wasn't ready for the reactions he could get. He needed time to process things on his own. Genji turned around in his chair in thought.

“Are you talking about Symmetra? You have a crush on Symmetra?!?!” Genji said with the enthusiasm of a child getting ice cream.

“Something like that. We’ve been spending more time together and I quite enjoy her company plus she's pretty,” not an entire lie but still not the truth.

“Well, good luck to you. I'm surprised she's giving you the time of day,” Genji said. This is where the conversation died and where Hanzo’s thoughts came to life. He stared at the screen in front him absentmindedly as his mind filled with thoughts like a sea to drown him.

The secret encounters between him and his young lover had come back to haunt him. She gave her virginity to him, moaned his name and whimpered out Spanish sayings when he touched her just right. He felt unworthy to have touched her in such a manner. They had only known each other for a few months but something about her made him feel like he’d known her forever. Above all, she treated him like a human worthy of respect. Both of them have troubling past and struggle to move forward and forgive themselves for what happened. They found comfort in each other and that comfort turned into more than either thought it would.

__________

Hanzo looked at his phone to re-check a message that he knew wouldn't change. His lover had asked to meet him on the rooftop of the dorms at sunset because she had something important to tell him. This made him nervous since she could be telling him anything. Well, here he was staring at the door to the rooftop. With a sigh he pushed the metal door open and there she was, crouched and hugging her knees as she looked sadly over the ocean. The warm orange hue of the sky caressed her brown skin perfectly. He stared in awe of her beauty.

“Illari,” Hanzo said as he began to walk over to her. She perked up at the mention of her name and stood to walk to him. Meeting each other halfway they hugged each other.

“I missed you,” she said softly into his chest.

“I missed you too,” he responded. They pulled apart from each other and Illari’s face went back to the sad state it was in moments ago. She sighed while looking into his eyes.

“What's wrong, my love?” Hanzo asked with concern. He couldn't stand to see her upset, especially after his own thoughts earlier. He thought it couldn't get worse but she scrunched up her face and a tear fell from her left eye.

“I'm pregnant,”

Chapter Text

“I'm pregnant” Illari announces.

Hanzo takes a sudden, sharp breath in and unconsciously, holds it in. He can't help but stare into her eyes. Surely it was just her being scared and overreacting, right? Right?!?!

Illari stared at Hanzo with concern as he froze with his mouth open and eyes wide. He was still holding onto her as he began to add some weird breathing pattern to the mix, his grasp becoming tighter. “H- hanzo,” she said sniffling as she tapped his arms. “Hanzo, please,”

After a few more taps to his arm, Hanzo began to relax and he let go of her. “I'm sorry. I just… pregnant? Are you sure?” He tells her. He could not deal with a child and he knew that Illari especially could not handle a child.

“Yes,” she answered with a nod. “I went to Angela and she confirmed that I am pregnant. Although, I don't think we have the equipment to do anything outside of a basic test so I don't know how far along I am,”

Shit. Of course she went to Angela, why wouldn't she. He remembers how Angela stared at him when they first met. Her previous judgment of him on full display. Anger and hostility set blue eyes ablaze. He didn't want to feel such emotions directed to him again. Hanzo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You didn't tell her about me, did you?”

Illari opened her mouth but took a pause as she thought over the situation. “I didn't tell her but would it be a problem if I did?” She asked while looking into his eyes intensely. He couldn't help but to stare back for a bit. The intensity behind her stare was arousing to him, but now was not the time for such thoughts.

“Yes, it would be a problem. I think the others would have a problem with our age difference,” Hanzo answered, thinking back to his earlier conversation with Genji. Illari took a few steps back and crossed her arms.

“I'm eighteen, it shouldn't matter what they think anyway,” she retorted with a scoff.

“Illari, you know that I do not care about our age gap but I fear others will judge us,” he told her. Hanzo was done with being judged by other people. He just wanted to live life and be loved for who he is, which was easier said than done. He found love, or so he likes to think. Illari brings him the peace, joy and understanding he secretly sought for years and he couldn't imagine losing her over this. More than anything he was afraid Overwatch’s leaders would send her somewhere remote for the duration of her time with them or worse he’d be asked to leave.

Illari sighed and looked down at her feet. “I know you don't want to be judged anymore. I just… I don't know,” she said, running her hands over her face. “I guess I don't want you to be worried about that…” she trailed off. The young woman at hand hated the anxiety her lover had when it came to other people perceiving him in some manner, whether it be positive or negative. He was so warm and caring in private that she wished to show the world. Hanzo has been the one helping her through her grief and loss. He held her during the times she got lost in her head, he gave her the reassurance that she was still human even after the incident. His desire to keep their love secret was slowly forming a thorn in Illari’s heart. She just wants the world to know and accept the Hanzo Shimada she loved behind doors.

There was a moment where the two didn't speak. Hanzo chose to break the silence. “Well, did Angela tell you anything else?”

“No, just that I have options and that she's there to support me,” Illari said with a sigh. She couldn't even pick a side to lean towards, she was so unsure of what to do.

“Do you know what you want to do?” He asked somewhat quietly. This was Illari's turn to freeze. In all honesty, she wanted this problem to simply disappear or be a bad dream, but her nausea brought her back to reality. She was very unsure of herself and secretly terrified. It felt as though every option was wrong.

“No,” she said, looking away. She couldn't bring herself to look at him at the moment, wondering why she let herself get so caught up in him. Hanzo gently caressed her chin and turned her head towards him again. Now she remembers.

“Okay, that is fine,” He tells her before placing a kiss on her lips. “I want you to know that I'll love you regardless of what you choose and you don't have to choose today either,”

This time Illari pulled him down into a kiss which he returned deeply. They pulled from their kiss and brought their bodies together in a tight hug. Hanzo felt Illari take in a deep breath and shakily release it.

“Thank you,” Illari said as she began to cry. Instead of trying to calm her down he continued to hold her. After a few minutes she pulled away and began to wipe her tears. “I'm going to lay down and rest. Will you meet me in my room later tonight?”

“Of course. What time should I be there?”

“10pm. The hallway should be clear,”

-------------------------------

Earlier that day~

Kiriko sat at the nurses station beside Angela while they talked. Although Kiriko was supposed to be tending to her duties like checking stock, Angela was lax enough to let her sit and chill.

“Now imagine my surprise when it's a bullet vibrator in this man's rectum,” Angela said. This caused Kiriko to laugh. “He almost didn't let us get it out because he was embarrassed. We had to tell him it could potentially go through his intestinal wall amongst other painful possibilities,” she said while shaking her head.

“There was this one time when I was a kid-” Kiriko stopped her sentence when the doors to the med bay opened and in walked Illari. This was a bit odd to Kiriko as she's seen Illari get hurt and self heal in seconds but she doesn't know what Illari needs and therefore let it go. The pair waved the young woman over to them so they could be in conversation range.

“How are you, Illari? It's been awhile since I've been able to actually talk to you,” Angela asked her with a warm smile.

“I have been fine, but I did come to speak to you about a problem,” Illari answered. Angela’s eyebrows shot up, “Of course! I have just the place. Kiriko, if you'll excuse us,”

Kiriko nodded and left the nurses station as the other two went to Angela's office. Sighing to herself, she pulled out her air pods and turned on her music to help her through the rest of her boring task. Her mind couldn't help but to think of Illari. She did once hold a crush for her, well, still does. Kiriko went out of her way to talk to Illari when she first got here since everyone else was too nervous to do so. Over the course of the first month of Illari being there, Kiriko had put a crack in Illari's tough shell that got bigger as the days went on. They started to share memes, music, funny videos and more. Kiriko took Illari out to the beach where they got… closer. The image, the feel of Illari straddling her on the beach towel never left her mind. Then one day their connection died. Illari stopped talking to her as much, didn't sit with her at lunch anymore and overall seemingly regressed in the progress they had made. Kiriko didn't know if she had done something or not and her heart hurt for it. She tried to let go but couldn't. Maybe it was Illari's sun power that kept her attached. Maybe she was too weak to let go.

The sound of a chair loudly scraping and hitting the floor could be heard then followed by an extremely loud scream. This was startling and without a second thought, Kiriko started to race down the hallway, until something in her reminded her that Angela and Illari were the only other people there. Kiriko looked at the closed office door and slowly approached. She knew she couldn't just barge in but she could use the help of the Kitsune to listen in. Standing next to the door, she put her left ear as close to the door as she could without leaning on it.

“Let it all out,”

That sounded like Angela. Now what happened to make Illari cry so hard? Kiriko was, naturally, concerned. ‘Did Angela tell her she has cancer? Sheesh,’ Kiriko thought to herself. As the minutes passed, the crying began to stop.

“You have options, Illari, and remember no one can make any decisions on what you do with your body. You have my full support no matter what you choose,” Angela said. This made Kiriko even more confused about the situation because what did she need options for?!?! Now the Japanese woman was impatient for an answer she truly didn't deserve.

“Do you know the father?” Angela asked. Kiriko’s eyes and mouth instantly widened with shock. ‘Father??? FATHER?!?!?! Illari's pregnant?!?! Holy shit, holy shit, what the fuck!’ Kiriko thought to herself.
She began to back away from the door, her breathing beginning to get faster, her head reeling. She walked into the stock room and closed the door behind her while sliding down it to sit on the floor. Holding her head in her hands she sighed loudly. To find out that not only does your crush not like you back but she's pregnant too…

‘That would definitely explain why she got distant. Found someone she likes better,’ Kiriko thought quietly. She was gonna need a few shots and maybe a joint to begin coping. She knew exactly who to hit up too. Pulling out her phone she began to FaceTime thee Hana Song also known as D.va. The other girl answered quickly and to Kiriko's surprise two faces appeared on her screen.

“Hey,” Kiriko said softly.

“Hey, girly,” Hana said.

“Hey, Kiri,” Brigitte said. “You look sad,”

“I kinda am,”

“Oh no, what's wrong?” Hana asked.

Kiriko sighed. “I got some information surrounding my crush and I'm devastated. It'll be easier to talk about later,” she said while removing her ponytail. “I was hoping you maybe had weed and I could bring the bottle I had in my room and we could bond a bit about the situation,”

This got the other two to laugh. “Lol yes I do have weed and I have snacks,” Hana stated.

“Ooh! I'll get my bottle too. We can make this a little party!” Brigitte chimed in. That's exactly what Kiriko needed to hear. A small kick back with just her and a few friends. ‘If only Illari could be there’ she thought.
“Bet, I'll meet you two in Hana’s room in like an hour, hour and a half,” Kiriko said. The other two agreed and hung up. Sighing she stared at her black phone screen, seeing her reflection lead her into the sea of thought that often sought to drown her. Had she been too aggressive with Illari on the beach? Was she overbearing? Did she say something? Why hadn't Illari told her she wasn't into her? So many thoughts and no answers.

Kiriko began to cry.

Chapter Text

Kiriko had managed to stop crying after about 15 minutes, which she felt was too long given what she was crying about. Her and Illari had really only known each other for a few months, so for her to be sobbing in a supply closet was pitiful at the very least. Sighing, she began wiping her face with a tissue and began to think. Checking her phone made her realize she had actually cried through the last part of her shift, so she was free to leave, thankfully. Her first destination before she left was the break room so she could get her lunchbox and jacket. Entering the door, she saw Angela and froze, with the other woman looking at her too. Damn it! Kiriko did not feel like talking to her.

“Have a good evening, and don't forget your charger at the station,” Angela said while waiting for a pot of coffee to finish. Kiriko didn't know what she expected and suddenly felt bad for thinking in such a way.

“Uh, t-thank you, *ahem*,” she said before grabbing her things and heading out. Teleporting into her room, she collapsed on the floor. She was coming to the notion that she didn't want to be bothered, nor did she want to see her friends anymore, in favor of solitude, a shower, and maybe a nap. After a few minutes of lying on the floor, she got up and went to prepare for a shower. Adding a few drops of lavender to her diffuser, she turned it on so it could mix with the shower steam. Choosing her favorite body wash, towels, and shower cap meant she was ready. The warm water, combined with the lavender, allowed her to properly relax. Afterwards, Kiriko put on lotion, a light perfume, and her most comfortable clothes before heading out.

Arriving at her destination, Kiriko knocked three times on the door, which summoned the owner of the room. Hana opened the door with a large smile and ushered the other girl in. Upon entering, she noticed that Lucio was there as well.

“Hey!” Lucio and Brigitte said it at the same time. Kiriko greets them back and sits in an empty chair. Lucio turned on some music, and Hana sparked the first joint, taking three hits and passing it to Kiriko. Without hesitation, Kiriko takes two quick hits, holding the smoke in her lungs for a few seconds before releasing the smoke with a hearty cough. The other three laughed at her as she tried to catch her breath.

“What is that?” Kiriko said it with a strained voice and watery eyes.

“Wedding cake runtz and some moonrock,” Hana responds. Kiriko took one more, smaller hit before passing it off to Lucio. Brig held a plastic cup out with green juice in it for Kiriko to take, which she did. The cup reeked of some strong liquor hiding behind the friendly green facade of juice.

“Not to rush you, but I am very interested in this juicy tea, Kiri,” Hana said. Lucio made a face of confusion, and Kiriko rolled her eyes.

“I low-key don't even want to tell the story anymore-” Kiriko cut herself off to take a sip of her drink, which made her face contort. She had processed some of her feelings in the shower and was now nervous about saying anything, given how she found out the information they wanted.

“Don't flake on the good shit now that you're here,” Brigitte chimed in.

“Something happened?” Lucio asked.

“Apparently, but now she doesn't want to say anything,” Brigitte answered. Kiriko let out an exaggerated sigh.

“Fine,” she said, dragging the word out. “A few things though, y’all didn't hear this from me and swear not to tell anybody or at the very least not rat me out,”

The other three agreed, and Kiriko let out a deep sigh.

“So, while I was working earlier, Illari came in and asked Angela if she could talk to her. They go away, and I go back to working,” Kiriko told them before grabbing the joint from Hana and taking a hit. “Out of nowhere, I hear this loud scream and the sound of something heavy hitting the ground. Mind you, I had airpods, and the door to the room I was in was closed, so whatever happened sounded serious,” she took another hit. “Without thinking for real, I ran out of the room to go check and see what happened and if anybody needed help. I get to Angela's office and stop dead in my tracks. Something came over me and told me not to bother them, but I still hear this sad ass crying coming from the room,”

Kiriko passed the joint to Lucio after another hit and cleared her throat before continuing. “Now this is where I went against better judgment,” Kiriko let out with a sigh. This next part wasn't one of her proudest moments. “I get the idea to be nosey and put my ear to the door,”

“Girl,” Hana said. Brigette silently shook her head.

“A hipaa violation, Kiriko? You could lose your license,” Brigitte tells her.

“I know, I know, not one of my smarter ideas, but I think I got my karma for it. So, I'm ear-hustling, and I hear Angela trying to calm Illari down, which worked, but here's where shit goes left,” Kiriko said, taking a pause and letting out a deep breath. “I hear Angela say, ‘Do you know the father?’ and for a second I was confused, but once I put it together, I could feel my heart fall to the bottom of my stomach,” Kiriko said, clapping her hands to the words at the end for emphasis. Gasps and surprised faces lit up the room.

“Illari's pregnant?!?!” Lucio asked, shocked. Kiriko nodded. “Damn,”

“That's crazy,” Brigitte said while rubbing her chin.

“Damn, and she just got here too,” Hana said in disbelief.

“Yeah, she's really only been here for six, maybe seven months,” Kiriko said.

“Wait, isn't she like 18?” Lucio asked.

“Yeah,” Brigitte and Kiriko said at the same time. Brigitte handed the joint to Hana, who took a hit and leaned back into her pillows.

“That's kinda nasty then,” Hana said out loud. The rest of them turned their faces up at Hanas' sentiment.

“What do you mean by that?” Kiriko asked. Hana rolled her eyes and took a hit.

“I didn't mean to say that out loud, but I'm not calling your crush, or whatever she is, nasty. I'm saying that because there aren't a lot of dudes here near her age. That means one of these old men has been hunching on her,” Hana announces. Once again, they pulled faces of realization from what she was saying. Kiriko could once again feel her heart drop.

“Eugh,” Lucio says. “I hadn't even thought of that,”

“That's extremely fucked up,” Brigette says. Kiriko had retreated into herself a bit after Hana made that observation. She had gone quiet, which the others either didn't notice or didn't care.

“Trying to narrow it down makes it look worse ‘cause even the youngest dude here is still seven plus years older than her,” Lucio states. “We know it's not me; we know Junkrat ain't getting any coochie; Niran would never, plus I think he's dating Bap; uhh, who else?" Lucio trailed off.

“But that's the thing. The rest of the men are over 30,” Hana answers. She sat up to take a sip of her drink. They all sit in silence for a few moments.

“Damn, like, that's all I can say right now. This is crazy,” Brigitte says, breaking the silence, although for Kiriko, she had tuned out the last few minutes of conversation being had as she began to think deeply about the situation. Her stomach was starting to hurt and grumble. An unfortunate combination of nerves and munchies was slowly settling in on her. Kiriko was naturally so concerned with her feelings on the matter that she hadn't even thought as far as Hana had. The ocean of her mind began to rise, pulsating and swelling as if it were alive. The small piece of land she thought was safe was quickly swallowed whole by the ocean. Kiriko was starting to feel nauseated. Had Illari really abandoned her for some older guy? Is that why she got up so quickly at the beach? Oh gods, why did she think about the beach?!?! She wondered if Illari dwelled on it as much as she had. ‘Probably not,’ she thought to herself. She really should've stayed in her room; oh gods, she felt like she was about to throw up.

Putting her cup down and standing up, “H-hey, I think I'm gonna go,” Kiriko announces, her voice soft and shaky.

“Are you okay?” Brigitte asked, standing up with her.

“Yeah,” Kiriko whispers.

“Are you sure?” Hana asks. “I know what we talked about might've been heavy,”

“I'm sure,” Kiriko said with more anger than intended. “I'll text you guys later,” she told them before quickly leaving with her things.

---------

Hanzo's eyes slowly opened at the sound of the alarm on his phone. Taking a deep breath, he turned it off and rolled over. It had been two weeks since he had spoken to Illari about her being pregnant. She wouldn't really entertain his conversation about it and kept pushing it away, saying she was unsure of what to do or trying to distract him with sex, which was more so for herself. At that time, however, he began to grow concerned for her well-being. He could see her regressing into how she was when she first arrived by keeping to herself and having this cloud of sadness over her. To add to that, she was eating less and less. ‘Was she starving herself to induce-’ He groaned, cutting off the thought and rubbing his eyes before sitting up in bed.

Today is Wednesday; there's a briefing at nine after breakfast, two hours of group training, and then an hour of weapons practice after lunch. It was really a simple day, although he did want to speak to someone as soon as possible. The thought of being a father almost scared him. Almost. So to ease his nerves a bit, he decided to seek out Zenyatta. Given how much Genji raved about him, he figured it couldn't hurt. The sun was just now beginning to peak over the horizon, which meant the monk should be meditating on the cliff. With a plan of action, he got dressed.

By the time he got to the cliff, the sun was halfway over the horizon. There on the patch of grass was the lone monk. He floated with his legs crossed, head down, and arms positioned to the side as his orbs moved up and down while letting off a soft chime. A bird was even perched on his shoulder. To Hanzo’s luck and surprise, Genji was not there, making this a bit easier.

“Good morning, Zenyatta-san,” Hanzo announced. The omnic slowly looked up to him, and Hanzo could’ve sworn he smiled, although he knew it wasn't possible.

“Grand rising, Hanzo,” Zenyatta said back. “Are you here to meditate and connect to the Iris this fine morning,”

“Not exactly. I was hoping I could speak to you regarding a uhh, challenge I have been having,” he said, sitting close.

“Ahh, of course. I am willing to listen and help. What plagues you?” Zenyatta answers. He was surprised Hanzo sought him out given how adamant he was that Zenyatta couldn't help him in the past, but it is a new day.

Hanzo sighs deeply. The energy he began to release changed the weight of the air. “You have to promise me that you will speak nothing of this to my brother,” Hanzo said. His gaze upon the omnic was tense, and the bird flew away.

“I- I had no such intention. I assure you that what we speak about stays between us,” Zenyatta answered. “This sounds like a very serious matter, then,”

“Yes, it is,” Hanzo said, sighing. “Remember when I told Genji I was seeing a younger woman?”

The omnic nodded. “Yes, I do remember. Is everything between you and Satya okay?” he asks.

“That's part of the problem. Me and Satya are ok, as we aren't dating, just good friends,” Hanzo says. “Although I lied to Genji about Satya, I didn't lie about seeing a younger woman. I-... I have been dating Illari for about three months now, and she has recently found out that she's pregnant,”

Zenyatta didn't say anything as he sat there. He wanted to congratulate Hanzo on bringing new life into the world, but he could see this wasn't something to celebrate. “I do not know much about Illari; could you elaborate on what the problem is exactly?”

Oh, fuck, are you serious right now? Hanzo groaned. “It's quite a few things. Illari is eighteen years old and fairly new to joining Overwatch. If it comes out that I, a forty-year-old man, slept with her and got her pregnant, it will reflect very poorly on me. I don't know how much you know about human relationships, but with our age dynamic, it could imply that I've been taking advantage of her somehow due to her being so young and vulnerable, although that isn't the case,”

Zenyatta’s head popped up a bit in realization. “Ahh, I understand now,” he said, taking a pause. “Has anyone else found out?”

“Besides Angela and now you, no. We have chosen to keep this a secret until we figure out what she wants to do,” Hanzo answered.

“Hmm. How does this make you feel?”

“Overwhelmed. Scared by possible judgment and backlash. I'm
irritated with myself for being so irresponsible,” Hanzo answered. He put his head in his hands. “People here already look at me funny for what I've done to Genji, and I know this would worsen their perception of me,”

“So you hide your love for her…”

“Yes, sadly. I fear that either one of us could be kicked out, more for her than anything. She can't go home and most definitely can't go back pregnant,” Hanzo states. He’d never forgive himself if she managed to end up homeless and pregnant because of him. “Worst of all, she won't talk to me about whether she wants to keep it or not. Her answer stays the same: ‘I don't know’,”

“Do you want to be a father?” Zenyatta asks. Hanzo paused for a second. His honest answer was no; he doesn't want to be a father.

“It doesn't matter what I want; it's her body and therefore her choice,”

“Have you told her if you want a baby or not? It sounds like you didn't say anything,”

“I have not told her; I do not wish to affect her decision,”

“Maybe telling her will help. She might be scared to make a decision because you haven't told her how you felt,” Zenyatta states. Hanzo hadn't thought about it in that manner. He nodded silently before thanking Zenyatta for imparting his wisdom. Zenyatta thanked Hanzo for trusting him enough to share this with him and stated that if he needed him again, he'd be there. With that, Hanzo departed for breakfast.

---------

Slowly, but surely, people trickled into the conference room, with Illari being some of the last to make it in. She spotted Hanzo seated next to his brother, and her heart skipped a beat before she calmed herself and took a seat in the back row, as far from him as possible. They were still a secret, so she didn't want to draw too much attention to herself by drooling over him out in the open. Cole, Winston, Vivian, and Jack stood at the front of the room with a holo-projector behind them.

Cole took a deep sip of his coffee. “Good morning, y’all,” he said, receiving a fair amount of good mornings in return. “So, we got a mission to escort a very important prince from Somalia to China for some big political shit-” he was cut off by an intense look from Vivian. “Actually, why don't you take over, Winston? I think you know more than I do anyway,” he said while taking a seat.

“I'd be more than happy too, Cole,” Winston said eagerly. “Prince Onondaga has requested that we escort him and his father into China for the war, land, and peace summit and to ensure their safety while there. The last time he and his father left for a global political meeting, they were attacked by a small group of presumed to be Talon members multiple times, barely escaping with their lives, according to the prince. Our goal is to send a small group of you to him and, obviously, protect him and his father. As of this moment, we are highly considering Mei, Zarya, Satya, Baptiste, Illari…”

That's when she stopped listening. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. Why was she up for consideration? Who thought she'd be a good pick?!?! It then hit her that she either had to tell them she was pregnant, risk going and potentially having something happen to her, or be discovered anyway because she couldn't hide her pregnancy. She wanted to walk out of the conference room and jump into the ocean, but that was too drastic for the situation. People started standing to leave when her attention snapped back to reality. Illari had been so caught off guard that she hadn't realized how fast the briefing was over. Standing to leave as well, she heard someone call her name. It was Baptiste, great. There was nothing wrong with him, but she really wanted to be left alone. He waved her to the front, where the rest of the mission group was.

“Ayy, you got your first big mission. How do you feel?” he asked her. She inhaled and paused. She felt a myriad of things. Shame, anger, depression, confusion—none of those were appropriate answers to the question, though.

“Uhh, I'm a bit excited, a bit nervous,” she answered with an awkward chuckle.

“Ahh, that's normal. Good to hear, though,” he responds. Vivian and Jack went over the finer details of the mission with the selected group. Sleeping arrangements, how money would be handled, yada yada. They finished up after another 30 minutes, which gave her just enough time to get ready for group training that was also mandatory for everyone. She just wanted to stay in her room and cuddle with Hanzo.

The day progressed as normal for our lovebirds. The sun was saying its final goodbyes in the sky as the moon slowly shuffled in to take its place. It was time for dinner, and tonight Ana had been generous enough to cook for everyone. The cafeteria was in full swing. The light music provided by Lucio made the ambiance quite nice, giving room for easy conversation and happy faces. Illari had been quietly sitting with Angela, Ana, and Vivian, taking small bites of food. Her nausea started after group training, and wouldn't leave her alone. Although they kept their conversation going, she could tell when they'd take quick glances at her. Illari began to wonder if Angela might've said anything to them.

“Illari, are you okay?” Angela asked her. She looked up, and now all three pairs of eyes were on her.

“Uhh, yeah, I'm okay,” she said softly.

“Sweetie, you don't look okay. Are you sure?” Ana chimed in. She looked at Illari with a sadness in her eyes that she didn't like.

“I'm sure, thank you,” Illari responded, getting up from the table with her half eaten food. They watched her walk off, throw the food away, and leave. Illari began to make her way back to her room when she bumped into Hanzo. They had agreed to talk a bit later, but why wait? In silent agreement, the two made their way to her room. They walked separately just in case someone wasn’t in the cafeteria. After getting into her room, Hanzo immediately took Illari into a deep hug, which she returned. “I love you,” he told her.

“I love you, too,” she said back with a small laugh. They let each other go, and he sat on the bed as she began to undress—a show he'd never turn down. Unclasping the hooks on her bra elicited a moan from Illari as she tossed it into the hamper.

“Was that necessary?” Hanzo asked playfully.

She rolled her eyes with a smile and said, “Yes, it was,”. Pulling the large t-shirt over her head gave him an even better view since she was stretching upwards, and that was when he noticed her stomach. While it could be passed off as a good dinner sitting in its final resting place, he knew better. She was…showing. Not anything drastic, but there was a bump pushing out her lower stomach.

“Did you know that you're showing?” He asked softly.

“Hmm?” she says since she couldn't hear him.

“Y-your stomach. I can see the bump,” he says louder. She froze in place, her eyes immediately darting downward to her stomach. She knew she had been getting bigger, naturally, but the top-down view she normally had didn't fully allow her to see everything. Walking over to the closet, she stood in front of the full-length mirror to observe herself better, and, well, he was right. Turning to the side, she lifted her shirt, and there it was: a bump pushing out her lower stomach. This was bad.

Illari was running out of time.

Chapter Text

Why would he point that out? It was so much easier to push away when she couldn't see it. Hanzo has continuously pushed the issue back into her face so it can be dealt with, despite her best efforts to distract him. Illari herself couldn't begin to put together the proper words for her emotions, let alone the right actions for future choices. She had to finally admit to herself that she was truly pregnant, and as they say, the first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have a problem. Her feelings on whether or not she wanted to be a mother were… complex. She thinks she's too young and definitely not ready, but she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about an abortion either.

Running her hand down her stomach, she jumped from the new sensation in the area. Surprisingly, it was firm. Illari sighed, turning from the mirror, she spoke to Hanzo.

“What are we gonna do?”

Hanzo opened his mouth but closed it just as quickly. He thought back on Zenyatta's advice of saying his thoughts on the matter, yet he still hesitated. Why was it so hard to speak when you needed to the most?

“I do not know entirely,” he answered her. “I do want to say sorry for doing this to you. I should have been more responsible,”

“You don't have to apologize. I just-”

“Don't know what to do,” Hanzo said, cutting her off. “I haven't told you my true thoughts on us being parents, which I feel has contributed to your confusion,”

“Oh,” Illari said with a surprised face. “I didn't even realize that I hadn't asked you about it,”

“It is okay,” he tells her. “I purposely didn't say anything because I felt it may have influenced your decision, but I did not realize saying nothing was probably worse,” Hanzo motioned for her to sit down, which she did. He continued on with, “I will be one hundred percent honest in that I do not want to have a child for a multitude of reasons, nor would I push you towards an abortion if that wasn't what you wanted,”

Hmm, helpful, but still too open-ended for her. She still had the thought of him leaving her. From her understanding of his conditions with Overwatch, he could go home for good in a matter of weeks if he really wanted to and leave her behind. Illari had nowhere else to go. She burned so many bridges back home by running away, and Talon was actively looking for her for whatever nefarious plans they had. She put her head in her hands and sighed. Thinking like this made her head hurt; hell, just being pregnant made her head hurt.

“So if I keep it, you're not staying with me?” Illari asked him quietly.

“Huh?”

“If I keep it, will you leave me?” She said it louder this time. Hanzo didn't say anything. Of course not. “Or worse, you say you won't leave then up and disappear in a few months,”

“Are those the only options?” Hanzo asked her. “I'm not leaving you over this, I will be here for you and this baby even though I don't want children,” he said while taking her hands in his. She looked up at him with tears running down her face.

“Hanzo, I was so scared that you'd leave me,” Illari told him. “It played over and over in my mind that you were too embarrassed to be seen with pregnant me,”

“No, no,” He said this while wiping away her tears. “I could never leave you over this, and I'm not embarrassed to be with you. No, no,”

She sniffled and began to calm down a bit before continuing, “I don't know what to do about the mission either,”

“What do you mean?”

“I'm pregnant, Hanzo and I'm too far along to even try faking like I'm not,”

“Why would you fake that you aren't pregnant instead of saying something? You could miscarry mid-battle,” he tells her. She didn't say anything as she tried to conjure up a response.

“Damn, you're right,”

“Have you thought about abortion by chance?”

“A bit, why?”

“To be frank, it is the easiest option for the situation,”

“I'm on the fence about abortion, even though I agree that it is the easiest option,” Illari answered with a sigh. She wasn't sure how her true feelings would be received and felt vulnerable enough as it was. Usually being vulnerable with Hanzo was easy, as he always had open arms for her, but this was a new, different type of vulnerability. One she preferred to forgo alone.

“Do you want to keep it?” Hanzo asked cautiously, the two of them locking eyes as he did. The air was already filled with tension, but now it could be cut with a knife.

“Not really,” she answered.

“So what makes abortion such a hard decision?”

“It just... I don't know,” she said with a shrug. Hanzo pulled away from her with a harsh sighed and leaned back on the bed. It was taking everything out of him to not cuss at her. They finally talk about her being pregnant, and the most she can give him as a final answer to anything is simply “I don't know." He looked over at her to see her eyes wide and her mouth open. She kind of looked like she was about to cry.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked softly, her head slowly going down. Her eyes were darting around quickly. Hanzo sat up quickly, taking her by the chin and having her look at him.

“I am not mad at you, although I am a bit frustrated,” he admitted to her. “I understand this is a hard decision, but as the father, not knowing whether or not I'm going to actually be a father is stressful,”

Illari did not say anything, nodding slowly as she took in his words. She leaned in and placed a peck on his lips before speaking, “You know I love you?”

He chuckled and responded, “I do. I hope this conversation made things easier for you. I hate seeing like this,”

“Like what?”

“You look sad every day. Differently from when you first got here,” Hanzo said softly. “It scares and pains me to see you look like that so soon after getting you to stop,”

Once again, she had nothing to say as she thought over his words. Illari did not know she wore her emotions so obviously. The conversation between the two of them seemed to die off there as they sat in silence.

___________

The soft chime and vibration of her phone alarm going off gave her just enough energy to turn it off and roll over. She was not ready to face the sunrise, let alone her bosses. Hanzo threw his arm over her and pulled her closer to him, to which she snuggled herself deeper into his form. The soft pattern of rain hitting the window was soothing to her. Add his soft breathing into her hair and the way he rubbed her back, and she was content to lay there all day. Their discussion from last night began to play in her mind, even though she didn't want it to. Hanzo, more or less, believes that she should have an abortion, and Illari wasn't entirely sure if she agreed. She had not thought about whether or not she truly wanted kids since it wasn't supposed to happen for a while in her mind. Aborting a baby was an even further thought in her mind. Feeling more vibrations from her phone let her know that 30 minutes had passed and she needed to be getting ready. Hanzo reached over and turned it off again, sighing in the process.

“Do you think anyone would notice us missing from training?” he asked while lying back down. She chuckled at him, saying, “They would, but whether or not we get into trouble is the real question,”

“Well, it is Thursday, so we only have an hour and a half of group training, and I think I have to clean the kitchen tonight. I will also be meeting with Satya at lunch. You plan on telling Cole still, right?” Hanzo asked her. She hesitated for a moment. Knowing that you should do something versus actually doing it is hard. Illari was still afraid of being booted from Overwatch. Her being pregnant was a huge liability, and saving the world as an not-so-undercover organization was already enough of a liability as it is.

“I do plan on telling him, but-”

“But nothing. You're running out of time and adding stress to yourself. You'll feel so much better once you tell them what's going on so you can get the help you need,” he told her. Illari sighed harshly at his suggestion. This, however, gave her the energy she needed to get ready. She rolled out of bed and walked to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. “Are you mad at me?” Hanzo asked her while she walked away. He didn't get a verbal response, just the bathroom door closing. He chuckled in disbelief and began to get himself ready for the day as well.

_____________

Against her will, Ilari went to Cole’s office. As scared as she was to tell anybody, Hanzo's suggestion of telling Cole first was pretty smart. From Illari's time around him, he handled sensitive subjects better than most on base and was always willing to listen. She stood just outside the open door, so he couldn't see her. All she had to do was tell him she wanted to talk and then announce that she's pregnant. Boom, bam, done, right? Right. Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she stepped forward and knocked on the open door to signify her presence. Cole was leaning back in the chair, boots up on his desk, with his hat over his face. Upon hearing the knock, he looked up and seemed a bit surprised. Adjusting his posture, he spoke, “Good morning, Illari. Is there something I can do for you?”

“I need to tell you something important regarding the mission,” Illari answered, standing in the doorway stiff.

“Okay, come have a seat. Please close the door too. Don't need no extra ears in here,” he told her while motioning for her to come in. Illari did as told, closing the door and taking a seat in the only other chair available across from Cole. She stayed quiet as the two looked at each other. “You gonna talk, or?”

“I'm pregnant,” she said quickly. His face lit up with surprise, and she immediately looked to the floor.

“I- uh- okay. Okay,” He responded. “Umm, you do know I have to tell Jack and Ana and them, right?”

Illari nodded before speaking, “I know, but I wasn't sure who to tell,”

Cole gave a nod of his own. “Okay, well. Congratulations, I guess? You're free to go,”

With a quick “bye,"  Illari was gone from Cole's office. That wasn't that bad, even if it was incredibly awkward. Lunch was starting in a few minutes, and for once, she felt like she could eat hoping nothing changed in the mere minutes before lunch started.  Also, Hanzo was right, she did feel a bit better after that. Entering the mess hall and it was already pretty full with people sitting at tables, waiting for the bots to put the food out. She gave a quick glance over the room to figure out where she was gonna sit. Even though everyone got along, she did notice that everyone sat in groups that were established well before her arrival. Zarya, Mei, Pharah and The Queen sat together daily whereas Genji, Angela and Zenyatta sat together every Tuesday and Thursday. She didn't talk to them much so they didn't go out of their way to invite her to sit with them and Illari was more than content with that. Now there was a more lively group that consisted of Lucio, Hana, Brigitte and Kiriko who all had tried to invite her to sit with them on multiple occasions, which she had taken them up on a few times. She secretly enjoyed sitting with them. They were always laughing about something stupid or making cute videos together. She also secretly wished to be as carefree, but knows it's not deserved for her. Illari stopped sitting with them when things between her and Kiriko had gotten tense. The older girl seemed overly infatuated with her which Illari had originally thought was just a crush and started to reciprocate, but Kirikos behavior was getting progressively worse so she stopped talking to her. She sighed and shook her head to clear her thoughts. Thankfully, there was an empty table closer to the doors that she could sit at. The bell rang and people lined up quickly, grabbing trays and utensils.

Standing in line, she spotted the fox girl taking a selfie of her and Brigitte. A picture she was sure to see scrolling her feed tonight. Ugh, they probably don't even think about her anymore. Oop, what do you know. They just glanced over at her to which Illari turned her head and stared off into the distance. Hopefully she wasn't staring too hard at them. The line was moving fast and she had her lunch within a few minutes. Walking back to her table, she caught the same aforementioned group staring at her as she walked past with oddly sad smiles. Why were they looking at her like that? Did she have something on her? Turning her face up at them in response, she continued onward. Illari had enough going on as it was, she didn't need the two of them antagonizing her for whatever reason. After sitting down, she let out a deep breath and prayed over her food and for her general well-being.

Today's lunch was actually decent. The bots weren't programmed beyond basic cooking functions, so a lot of the food was pre-cooked, warmed, and served as is. The chicken stir-fry was cooked well and the egg rolls were crispy and hot. Maybe she was hungrier than she thought.

The opening of the cafeteria doors caught her attention, which wasn't hard to do since she was right next to them, and in walked Hanzo and Sym-Satya. Illari's heart jumped when she saw Hanzo; her face lit up when she saw him, but he hadn't seen her since she was in an odd spot being behind the door when it opened. He was in an animated conversation with Satya, who began to let out a chuckle at whatever he was saying. Their heads were turned to each other as they spoke, they walked close to each other, had warm smiles on their faces, and even had warmer eyes. Hanzo says that the two of them are just good friends, but if she didn't know any better, she'd assume they were dating. This seemed too natural for her liking. She didn't know much about Symmet- fuck, Satya; outside of her being a Vishkar architect, she kept to herself, and Lucio, in his words, “can't stand that Vishkar bitch." Depending on how serious Satya and Hanzo were, she might be joining him on that bandwagon. Then again, ,how could she be upset? No one knew she and Hanzo were quite serious as they stayed private and the architect was of a more “appropriate age” if he wanted to flirt out in public. He said he wouldn't leave, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't move on. Sighing to herself, she went back to her meal.

A few moments later, the door opened again, and in came Cole, who didn't even let the door close. He held it open and scanned the room in a slow, sweeping motion with his head before quickly looking behind the door, his face lighting up upon seeing her. Illari should've known.

“Hello,” he said while strolling over to her table. “Ana and Vivian would like to talk to you right now. You can bring your lunch too,” he told her. She looked down at the plate, which had less than a quarter section of stir-fry and three bites of an egg roll left, before looking back up at him. “Or not,”

Illari stood and moved from the table, throwing her trash away, before following Cole into the hallway so he could take her to wherever they were going. They moved in silence for the walk, save for a random sigh or grunt. It didn't take long for the pair to reach the conference room. He knocked on the door and was met with a few moments of silence before the door slowly opened, as if someone hadn't closed it properly. Cole gestured for her to go before him, so she did, pushing the door open the rest of the way and walking in. The room was fairly small, with an oval-ish brown wooden table and six office chairs taking up most of the space. At said table sat Ana, Angela, and Vivian, who greeted her in unison, and she greeted them back. He didn't say anything about their head doctor being present, but she shouldn't have been surprised. Cole closed the door behind her, leaving her to stand in the open awkwardly.

“You can sit,” Angela said. Illari did as told, taking a seat on the side of the table where they weren't. The three of them stared at her for a few moments, and she didn't say anything, staring at them as well.

“So Cole told us that you told him you're pregnant. Is that true?” Vivian asked. Angela looked at her more pointedly, considering she's known the longest.

“Uh, yes, I am. Pregnant,” Illari said awkwardly. “I had Angela do a pregnancy test, and it came back positive,”

Ana and Vivian gave slow, silent nods that reminded her of her parents in a way.

“Have you decided whether you want to keep it or not? It has been a few weeks since we spoke about it,” Angela asked her.

Illari hesitated before speaking, “Uh, no,”

“Why not? Not to say it's an easy decision, but the time you've had is enough to know whether you want a baby or not,” Angela followed up.

“I mean,”

“Are you scared of something?” Ana chimed in.

“I don't think I'm ready for a baby, but I don't fully know how I feel about an abortion,” Illari explained. The three of them just stared at her, which did not make her feel comfortable. She adjusted herself in her seat under their gazes.

“So you're thinking about giving it up for adoption?” Vivian asked her.

“Not necessarily,” Illari answered. They squinted their eyes at her, and Ana opened her mouth again to say something, but was cut off by Vivian.

“Okay, here's the thing though: we called you here to mainly discuss the mission. You're supposed to be going to Somalia in two weeks, but we can't have you out there pregnant. If you get an abortion, we can still send you out, but if you choose to continue with the pregnancy, then we need to know now so that way we can pick your replacement and get them prepped. You do know that, right?” The commander told her. Illari let out a sigh. This wasn't the most helpful bit of information. She was genuinely conflicted about her decision.

“I understand that, but it doesn't help me decide,” Illari answered, irritated.

“I have to ask, Illari. You are a bit young, what would compel you to feel as though you shouldn't have an abortion? Children are a lifelong commitment, and yours has only just started,” Ana said while leaning back and crossing her arms.

Illari let out a sigh, “I'm not sure about an abortion because I don't want to feel like I'm murdering someone else. I've killed enough people as it is,” she confessed, looking away. Tears stung at her eyes while the other three, once again, just stared at her. A few moments passed before Angela tried to speak.

“Illari, you didn't-”

“Murder anyone?!?!” Illari yelled at her while leaning over the table a bit. The other women backed up due to the sudden outburst, surprised faces to match their actions. This was their first time seeing this behavior from her. Illari continued, “Everyone keeps telling me that, but I did! I murdered hundreds of people and most of my immediate family. I don't want to hurt someone else close to me,” She put her head in her hands and began sobbing. Anger and regret began to arise within her as memories of that day came flooding back to her. If she could go back in time to tell her fellow Inti Warriors to stop the machine, she would. Her power wasn't worth the emotional suffering she faced. In under thirty seconds, she managed to massacre three hundred and forty-six people because of her power. Her mother, her father, her brothers, her sister... turned into nothing. The explosion was so violent that it obliterated everything in its radius, leaving behind rubble and stale air. Illari let out a hard breath as the ocean of her mind drowned her. Her body was shaking as she subconsciously curled into herself.

Oh, this was sad, to say the least. The young woman in front of them was clearly dealing with a lot of issues. Ana scooted the forgotten and random lone box of tissues at the end of the table towards Illari, who ended up ignoring them. They were all highly concerned for her, of course, but they weren't sure how well she'd respond to them considering she just yelled at them. Angela tapped Ana's thigh as encouragement to go talk to the distraught teen, which began a non-verbal conversation with their eyes. Ana accepted defeat silently, standing and cautiously making her way over to Illari.

“Illari, sweetie,” Ana said, getting the young woman's attention. Illari looked up at Ana with the lower half of her face wet and her eyes red. Her hands held a fair amount of water too. Oh, poor baby. Ana began rubbing her back and crouched next to her. “We're gonna work something out, okay? It's not the end of the world, even though it feels like it is,”

Nodding, Illari took the tissues and wiped her face. “Am I free to go?” she asked with a quivering voice. The older woman returned to her seat.

“I have one more question, but only if you can handle it,” Ana responded. Illari nodded, awaiting the question.

“Who are you pregnant by?” 

Chapter Text

“Who are you pregnant by?” Ana asked with a serious tone. Illari let out a deep sigh. She preferred to keep as many secrets as possible regarding her pregnancy and her relationship. If she told them about Hanzo, they'd probably keep her away from him, which was the last thing she wanted. She just wanted to be with her lover, watching movies or something, but here she was, being interrogated about the potential father of her child.

“I don't want to tell,” Illari answered. Vivian let out a chuckle at her statement. “What's so funny?”

“If you think we're asking to be nosey, then you're wrong,” Vivian said back. Illari rolled her eyes. “As red as your eyes are, I'm surprised that didn't hurt,”

Illari opened her mouth to speak but was cut off quickly by Ana.

“Illari, I'll be honest,” Ana said. “It sounds like you're being pressured to keep everything a secret. Did he say he'd do something to you if people knew he fathered your baby?”

“No, I just don't see how it's any of your concern,” Illari snided. She did not appreciate Ana realizing she was keeping him a secret so quickly. “Also, how would you know if the person who got me pregnant is a ‘he’ anyway?” she said the last bit as a distraction. The three of them raised their eyebrows at that.

“You're right, I don't know, so I apologize if I misgendered your partner, however,” Ana said, taking a pause. “As long as you're on this base, your pregnancy and the details are my business,”

“You're not my mom,” Illari responded.

“I'm not trying to be your mother, but I do want to look out for you,” Ana answered sincerely.

“I don't need you-”

“But you-”

“NO, I don't. I'm an adult, and I can handle myself,” Illari told her. Her irritation levels were getting high. Ana stared at her with a blank face, while Illari stared back. The room was quiet, and all eyes were on her. She hated being the center of attention, especially since the incident.

“Illari,” Angela said, breaking the silence. “I know you said that you do know the father, but is there a possibility that you don't?”

Hold up. A light bulb went off in Illari's head, as she hadn't even thought about this route. It would keep Hanzo a ssecret,and they'd probably stop questioning her so much. Angela was truly an angel in the moment.

Illari softened her face and looked down. “That would be embarrassing to admit to, no?”

“No, it's okay if that's the case,” Angela rushed to say. Ana shot Angela a look, who simply gave a sheepish smile in return.

“Is that the case?” Vivian asked softly. The three of their faces changed to one's of concern. They were so in tune that it made Illari  queasy.

“Yeah…” Illari answered. “I don't remember much. I just know that one of the nights I went out, I was drinking more than usual,” she took a pause, hoping it added to her authenticity. “I-I,” she interrupted herself with a sigh, “This is embarrassing,”

“You don't have to tell anymore if you don't want to,” Angela told her.

“No, it's okay. I need to piece this together myself; I haven't thought much about it,” Illari said, while Angela nodded. “I was talking to some guy who managed to pull me away from the party. I somewhat remember my bikini top coming off, but then I woke up the next morning on base in my room,”

This information was met with silence. She didn't know if it was from shock or if they didn't believe her. Ana sighed but didn't say anything, rubbing under her eye patch.

“Are you saying you were taken advantage of?” Angela asked her softly. She looked so sad that Illari almost felt bad for telling the lie. Unfortunately, secrets had to be kept.

“It didn't feel like I was. I walked off with him,” Illari told them.

“Illari, you were drunk; he shouldn't have taken you anywhere,” Angela said firmly. Illari put her head down again. This went way too far left for her to make right; she might as well continue.

“I'm sorry for burdening you with that story,” Illari told her. They'd ooo'd in unison at her while scrunching their faces.

“You do not have to apologize for that,” Angela said in an almost scolding manner. “You were taken advantage of; never feel ashamed to tell that story, okay?”

Illari nodded. This was gonna be interesting. She had no intention of letting any of this get as far as it had. Hopefully, they wouldn't look at her too differently. There was so much to tell Hanzo about. Inti willing, he wasn't too busy to talk once she left from here.

There was a knock on the door as it opened. Cole was holding a tray with food on it, waving as he entered. “Lunch was gonna end soon. Figured I'd bring y'all something while you chat,” he told them while setting the tray down. Three plates of stir-fry and egg rolls were barely on the tray that held them.

“Thank you, Cole,” The three women said it in unison. He gave a playful courtesy and dipped out of the room again to bring in another tray with drinks and utensils, setting it down next to the previous tray. Giving a quick look to Illari, he gave her a small, tight-lipped smile and scurried out of the room. The plates and drinks were split amongst them.

“Do you mind if we eat?” Ana asked. Angela was halfway to her first bite when she set it back down and looked at Illari for approval.

“No, not at all. I already ate too,” she answered. With her permission, the three of them began to eat. Ana said a quick prayer before doing so.

“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?” Vivian asked her. Illari did have one question she finally felt comfortable enough to ask about.

“Um, if I wanted to keep the baby, what would happen?”

“Nothing. You'd just be on base,” Vivian answered. Oh, how simple! Here Illari was, stressing herself out to the point of tears nights prior, just to be told nothing would happen. “Although now we have to budget for a baby,”

“Oh, okay,”

“You sound disappointed; were you expecting something else to happen?” Ana asked.

“Well, I thought I was going to be kicked out,” Illari answered, leaving out the bit about her being terrified to be homeless and pregnant in a foreign country.

“Oh heavens no, we'd never do that over someone being pregnant,” Angela answered. “Also, if that's your choice, then I need to get you set up with an obgyn,”

“Obgyn?"

“Pregnancy doctor,”

“Oh,”

“Have you been to a gynecologist before?” Ana asked.

“What's a guynacololoist?” Illari asked, turning her face up in confusion.

The three women let out hearty laughs at her question. “They’re doctors that specialize in the female reproductive system,” Angela explained. Illari’s face lit up with understanding.

“I didn't know the English word for that, but no, I haven't,” she answered honestly. The three of them nodded to her while chewing.

“It's nothing scary. I'll talk to you regarding an appointment soon,” Angela told her.

“You can go unless you want to sit and talk,” Vivian said. Illari didn't have to be told twice, and with a quick goodbye, she was gone. Ana let out a deep sigh and leaned back into her chair.

“What are we gonna do about that girl, ugh,” Ana said while stretching.

“I wish I had an answer,” Vivian said taking a bite of egg roll.

“I feel so bad for her,” Angela announced.

“Because?” Vivian questioned.

“She's eighteen, her friend's and family are dead, she ran off to a different country to join Overwatch, got raped at the beach and now she's pregnant,” Angela said, throwing her hands up at the end.

“That is pretty shitty,” Ana said off-handedly.

“The poor girl can't do anything without life beating her down,” Angela said, putting her head in her hands. Soft cries could be heard from her. Ana and Vivian looked at each other in disbelief. Angela was not serious right now.

“Angela,” Vivian trailed off.

“I'm sorry, but I can't help it,” Angela said, wiping her tears away. “It's just so much to go through and only be eighteen. It breaks my heart,”

Once again, Ana and Vivian gave each other the look.

__________

Lunch had finished, the tea was mostly  gone, and the rain was still coming down with no care, beating on the windows sharply. Seated at a table, Satya and Hanzo were in the unused, mostly forgotten breakroom for this week's meeting, talking over the upcoming mission she's supposed to go on, hobbies, and the general goings of life.

Satya also had other thoughts on her mind. She'd gotten wind, so to speak, that Hanzo has a “crush” on her. Now, she'd be lying if she said she didn't find him attractive, but dating him never really crossed her mind. They were good friends in her eyes, but the wind in her ears did give way to unintentional influence. Maybe pursuing something more romantic with Hanzo wouldn't be bad. Satya made no overt gestures as she did not want to be the first to lean into the situation; however, she was curious about where he fully stood on this “crush”.

“I have been meaning to ask if you found someone after Cole,” Satya said, taking a sip of tea. Hanzo turned his face up at her.

“Cole and I had nothing going on despite what you and others think,” he said this while lightly tossing his head to the side. She chuckled at him. “To answer your question, no, I have not found anyone,” He finished with a sigh. How he wished he could tell Satya about Illari and how much he loved her. Hanzo knew deep down that Satya probably wouldn't approve of them, and it hurt to know that. It hurt knowing that very few people would approve of their relationship. He's asking the love of his life to hide the fact that she's having his child because he's afraid of someone else judging him. It didn't sit right with his spirit, but he also couldn't bring himself to not care what others thought of him. Hanzo's stomach began to hurt from his overactive mind. Excusing himself, he left the room.

Satya raised an eyebrow at the door. Maybe she said too much? Yet she hardly said anything on the matter. Suddenly, he has to excuse himself and leaves the room. Oh well. She took another sip of the tea in her cup, pondering the moment. The chances of Hanzo being interested in her felt slim now, even though she was sure he'd at least bite the bait a few seconds ago. The vibration of a phone ringing caught her attention. Reaching into her purse, she grabbed her phone only to realize it wasn't ringing, leaving the only other thing being Hanzo's phone. The vibrating stopped, and Satya made a mental note to tell him about it when he came back from wherever he was. Although his phone started ringing again as soon as it stopped, Hanzo was quite popular today. The vibrations ended, and just like last time, they started back up. This time, however, the phone stopped after three rings as whoever was on the other end gave up. Being emboldened by the fact that he wasn't in the room, she lifted his phone up and turned the screen on. Satya could've gone to the moon from how hard she jumped. The phone screen showed three missed calls from Illari of all people. Why would Illari have any need to contact Hanzo of all people? Wasn't she dating Kiriko or something? The phone in her hand vibrated again, this time with a text message that read

Are you still with Sym? Sorry for blowing your phone up. I have so much to tell you, and it's so important. Please get back to me or meet me in my room <3

It’s important? Meet her in her room??? With a heart emoji?!?!? Now, what was so important that they would ever meet in her room of all places? Satya had so many questions that needed answers. Setting the phone back down face first, she let out a sigh. Since when were Hanzo and Illari close enough that he’d tell her who he's having lunch with? Satya didn't want to assume the worst and jump to the conclusion that they were dating, but the ending of the message left little room for interpretation. She hadn't seen them talk to each other, even though she hadn't seen Illari talk to anybody but Kiriko. Even then, she hadn't seen the two interact much lately. Her mind began to race with potential explanations for what she had witnessed on her friend's phone. She couldn't imagine Hanzo entertaining Illari romantically. It didn't seem plausible for him to want to date someone so young. What did they have in common to begin with? Satya sighed as her newfound feelings were attempting to get in the way. She and Hanzo are just friends and no more, regardless of what she might have heard about Hanzo's potential feelings. On cue, the door to the room opened, and Hanzo walked in.

“Sorry for how long I was gone; I got caught up in something,” Hanzo announced while walking over to her. Whatever he got “caught up in” was beyond her as she nodded at him to let him know she was listening. He took his seat across from her once again.

“Um, someone called you,” Satya said.

Hanzo's face lit up with surprise. “Did you see who it was by chance?” He asked her. Satya had been thinking about this moment as well. She could say that she saw the calls from Illari and confront him about them, but she could just act as oblivious as she had been.

“No, I didn't want to intrude,” she answered. Hanzo shrugged a bit, picking up his phone and turning it on. She could see him try to hide his expression, but she caught his slight surprise at what was on his screen. “So who was it, if you don't mind me being nosey?”

“Uh, i-its just Genji,” he answered while standing up. “I have to go, unfortunately,” he told her while cleaning his mess. ‘How interesting. Not only does he lie, but he's in a hurry to leave,’ Satya thought to herself. Turning to her, he says, “I can take your trash and stuff too if you don't mind,”

“It is fine; I can take care of my own trash,” she answers him coolly. He gave her an okay as he cleaned. This was probably as good a time as any to ask about what she'd seen on his phone. Something inside her kept her mouth closed against her will on the matter. Genji was the one who gave her a lead on the “crush” so chances are he didn't know about Illari. Unless he was fine with his brother cheating, No, no, she hardly knows the situation between her friend and the young woman well enough to imply that they're serious. The text message says otherwise, though.

“When should we meet next week?” Hanzo says, bringing Satya out of her thoughts.

“Uh, next Thursday is good for me. Same place,” she answered. He nodded and gathered his belongings before heading to the door. They exchanged good-byes, leaving Satya to think deeper about what she'd seen.

___________

Hanzo couldn't walk fast enough to the dorms. He wanted to run but didn't want to alert anyone, as running would make him look suspicious. The rain coming down was starting to soak through his fleece pullover, even though he'd been exposed for a few seconds at a time. Pulling open the main door of the dorms, he stepped through, wiping his shoes off on the mat and continuing on to his destination, now free of the rain. He went down the flight of stairs and onto the 2nd floor, walking down the hallway until he reached the back of the building. Illari chose a fairly private room, as hers was the last door on the left and the room next to hers was empty, as was the one across from her. At her door, he slipped out of his shoes and input the four-digit number on the keypad. With access granted, the door was unlocked, and he pushed it open. Entering the mostly silent room, he chose to sit in the chair at her desk. He could shower water running, and a few minutes later, his girlfriend emerged wrapped in a soft green towel and her hair down in wet waves.

“I knew it was you,” Illari said with a smile as she walked over to him and sat in his lap. Oh, how he loved her smile. “How'd you get in?”

Hanzo pulled her in for a kiss before answering her. “I remembered your door code,”

“Of course you did,” she said with a chuckle. “How was lunch with Satya?”

“It was good as usual,” he answered her. “What did you do to your hair today?”

“Washed it, conditioned it, and scrunched some mousse into it for a wavy style. Hopefully it
holds,”

"Well, I like it,”

“Thank you,” she said before standing up and grabbing the lotion and body oil off her dresser. She sat down on the bed and began to apply it to herself. “So I talked to Cole like you said I should,”

“How did that go?”

“It was fine and was actually really easy. It was what happened after that,”

“Oh?”

“Cole told the higher-ups, which I expected, but within an hour of me and him talking, Ana and Vivian wanted to see me immediately,”

“Mmm, to talk to you about being pregnant?”

She nodded. "Yeah, but he didn't even tell me Angela was gonna be there, so I was surprised to see her there. The energy felt weird when I first got there, so naturally, I'm uncomfortable,”

“Mhm,”

“Vivian cuts straight to it and tells me they need to know now if I'm having an abortion or not so the mission can be properly setup, and I tell them that I'm not sure on having an abortion, and all three of them give me this confused look, right?”

“So what did you tell them? Are you keeping it or not?”

“I wasn't-” she said before sighing, “I told them I'm keeping it,”

Her answer was met with silence from her partner.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR KEEPING IT?” Hanzo asked angrily. He didn't yell but raised his voice, his tone firm. Something in him snapped upon hearing her say she was keeping it. He tried to get into the mindset of enjoying his girlfriend's pregnancy but he couldn't. He'd rather she get an abortion so they could go back to normal and decide to have children much later if they wanted to.

“Mi amour, please keep your voice down,” Illari asked him with her hands clasped together. This was exactly the reaction she was most afraid of. “I didn't think-”

“YOU DON'T think,” Hanzo said, quieting down towards the end. Letting out a grunt of frustration, he leaned back in the chair and began to rub his face. She stopped looking at him and put her head down, tears stinging her eyes.

“Why would you say that?” She asked quietly. Illari hated to admit that her feelings were hurt, but they were. She thought he was being more accepting of the situation, yet she couldn't have been more wrong.

“What?”

“Why would you say I don't think? You don't think that's fucked up?!”

“It doesn't seem like you use your brain to think beyond yourself,” he answered harshly. He could feel his face heating up.

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?”

“I told you I don't want kids; why would you keep it? Why would you keep a child for a man who doesn't want children? That's what I mean by you don't think,”

The two sat in silence as tears made their way down her face.

“You need to leave,” Illari told him. He was taken aback as this was the first time he'd been kicked out of her room, although deserved.

“I-I shouldn't have-”

“You shouldn't have, but you did. Bye, Hanzo,” she said before lying down on her bed. Hanzo left the room with a sigh of defeat. Illari suddenly had a headache,and the silence in the room was too loud for her. Her heart was broken and currently felt unrepairable. Hanzo stated his true feelings about her pregnancy in such a rude manner that she didn't think he was capable of it. Her mind felt less like an ocean and more like a cliff leading into an endless dark abyss, calling for her. Just one step off, and she could end it all. Her fate is ultimately unknown, but she would be out of this situation if she so chose. The last time she felt this way was after her family had been buried. She felt as though there was nothing to live for and she'd be better off dead. That would help her current situation. No one would have to worry about her. Hanzo wouldn't have to worry about becoming a father, and she wouldn't have to worry again, ever.

Perfect ending, right?

Chapter Text

Illari felt so uncertain. She reached out to Overwatch to accept the recall a few weeks ago, and although she didn't expect to get in, they let her join. Now she was pacing back and forth outside of a meeting room, rubbing her hands over her clothes again and again in an attempt to soothe herself. Once her name was called, she would walk in, introduce herself, and have a seat. Simple in theory, not in practice.

Illari rubbed her thumb over the pin holding her lillica together. Was she making the right decision? Was she truly cut out to be a superhero, fighting omnics and saving people from dilapidated buildings? Yes, she's an Inti Warrior. Well, the ceremony technically had not finished, although she had the solar threading done. Her heart began racing at the thought of that day. That day, it plagued her mind.

“Ill-e-are-ee?”

She snapped out of her thoughts upon hearing her name incorrectly called, a first for her.

“It's E-yah-ree,” Illari said while walking through the door into the room. All eyes were on her, and there were fewer of them than she thought there would be.

“My apologies, Ee-yari.” The talking monkey, ape, or gorilla told her. She was going to have to adjust to that. “Please tell us something about yourself.”

“Like what?” She asked back.

“Uh, age, where you're from, what you bring to the team, any hobbies you may have,”

She let out a sigh. This was supposed to be a simple “Hi” and sit down.

“I'm eighteen-”

“Damn” came from some surprised individuals. Every head turned towards the sound, and she followed as well, her eyes landing on a white man in an old American cowboy get-up. “Sorry,” he said, embarrassed, his face turning a light red. “Continue,”

“I'm eighteen; I'm from Peru, and I used to enjoy taking care of my pet llama, if that counts as a hobby,” she said quickly.

“A pet llama, eh?” came from within the crowd of people. “You got any dingos out in Peru?”

“Dingos?” Illari said, confused.

“I think dingos are only in Australia, Junker Queen.” The talking monkey, ape, or gorilla responded. “You can have a seat, Illari. Thank you.”

Doing as told, she took the first empty seat she laid her eyes on, which was next to a large, buff white woman with pink hair. They exchanged small smiles as Illari came closer. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

----------------

Kiriko was going feral, and the girl had only walked through the door five minutes ago. She could feel something calling to her outside of the meeting room earlier, but she didn't think it was her. A soft glow illuminated around her, beckoning Kiriko to come closer. Uuugghh, this was frustrating. Why did she feel so horny but a need to protect this energy at the same time?!?! Her emotions were growing more intense as the seconds ticked. She began to squirm in her chair, a futile attempt to calm herself. She sat on her hands, hoping it would help.

Illari… the name tasted sweet when she whispered it to herself. Kiriko wanted her, needed her, and desperately so. She gently bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes, taking small, deep breaths. She could let it all go right here if she wanted to. This was borderline deranged and highly dangerous. Why was she so riled up over someone she had just laid eyes on?

“Uh, are you okay?”

Her eyes shot open, and she stopped moving as the color drained from her face with quickness. It was Baptiste speaking to her in a hushed tone. She nodded, answering his question.

“Meeting dismissed. Enjoy lunch, everyone,” Winston announced. Kiriko got up with an unmatched quickness, practically running out of the room. Her heart was racing as she made her way out of the office area. Deciding it'd be much quicker, she teleported into her room. Once in her room, she noticed that the energy she felt had dropped drastically.

‘That was so embarrassing,’ Kiriko thought to herself. Although she could finally put her thoughts together, that didn't fully affect the pulsing she felt in her pants. Kiriko wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to handle this situation that way. Masturbating someone she hadn't even properly met wasn’t something she necessarily wanted to do, but she couldn't put her words together properly to describe her emotions. Her body was telling her to give, yet her mind made her hesitant. A shower, perhaps? No, that was prolonging the inevitable. Sighing, she walked over to her underwear drawer and fished out the small, black vibrator. Kiriko felt at odds with herself, as she didn't want to give into this animalistic lust, but God knew she wanted to. She sighed. This could be a quick five minutes and over. It's not like anyone would know.

-----------

“Wait, wait, wait, you're telling me that when you see the new girl, she's glowing?” Lucio said.

“Yes! And it's so weird because no one else has this glow. It's not an aura; it's more like sunlight, if that makes sense,” Kiriko tells him. The other three people she's talking to look at her as if she had another head.

“So your kitsune powers let you see sunlight auras.” Brigitte spoke slowly.

“Not, well, ugh, I don't know how to explain it because I've never experienced this before,” Kirko said before taking a bite of her food. “I can tell when she's around because she gives off energy too. She's on her way in right now.”

On cue, the cafeteria doors swung open, and Illari was walking right behind Winston as he showed her around. The group of friends all turned their heads and watched as the duo walked by. Kirikos' heart skipped a beat as the energy hit a peak with Illari passing so closely. Her body also began to react as it did earlier, and this was an even worse time to be horny. Three heads suddenly turned to Kiriko in disbelief.

“You're weird, bro,” Hana said, taking a sip of Mountain Dew. Kiriko shrugged her shoulders.

“A blessing and a curse at times,”

“You're not messing with us, are you?” Brigitte asked her.

"No, lol, why would I lie about that?”

“You told us you saw dead people last Halloween and had your kitsune act like a spirit, throwing shit around,” Lucio chimed in.

Kiriko playfully winced before saying, “I did do that, huh?”

“Yeah,” the other three said in unison.

"Well, this time, I'm serious,” she tells them. “There's a glow coming off of her, and it makes her even prettier,”

The three of them stared at her again as Kiriko began to blush at the realization of what she said. That would explain the odd bout of lust from earlier, as she had chalked it up to her body being weird. She hadn't even realized that she thought the new girl was attractive until she said so out loud.

“So the girl you think is pretty glows,” Hana spoke slowly as a smile creeped across her face. Kirikos' face became redder at the teasing.

“No, she glowed before I thought she was pretty,”

"Sure, Kiri,” Lucio said playfully. Hana and Brigitte laughed while Kiriko rolled her eyes. Kiriko caught sight of Illari standing around with a tray of food in her hands, looking a bit unsure of where to sit. Eventually, Illari picked a direction and began to move, which just so happened to be in Kiriko's direction. She turned her attention back to her food quickly in hopes that Illari hadn't caught her staring.

“You should invite her over here,” Hana said to Kiriko.

“What? No, are you crazy?!” Kiriko answered.

“A little bit,” Hana said, waving at Illari to come over. “Sit with us!” Hana called out. Illari stopped and stared for a second before deciding to walk over. “I noticed that you looked a bit lost on where to sit. I'm Hana,” the bubbly gamer said to Illari before making space for her to sit.

‘Shit! Hana doesn’t listen anybody,’ Kiriko thought to herself. She was too nervous to move, let alone say anything to the new girl.

“I’m Illari, but you probably found that out earlier,” she said while sitting next to Hana.

“I'm Lucio,” Lucio said. Illari’s eyes widened.

“Lucio Correia dos Santos, right?” Illari asked. He nodded. She squealed lightly. “I'm trying not to get too excited, but once I found out you were here, I'd been looking forward to meeting you. I am a huge fan of yours.

Lucio playfully blushed at hearing this. “You like my music?” He asked with a smile.

“Yeah, I play your music all the time, especially when I workout,” she told him.

“No way; it’s always nice to meet someone with taste,” he responded.

“Oh! I’m Brigitte, but you can call me Brig,” Brigitte said to Illari.

“Nice to meet you, Brig,” Illari said back. The group sat in silence for a few moments as they ate.

“What made you join Overwatch?” Lucio asked. Illari took a sharp inhale at the question being asked, something she hadn’t intended to do. “Only if you want to, of course,” he threw in.

“I, um, was sent here,” Illari answered. She was trying not to think too hard about why she ended up here.

“Me too!” Hana said it excitedly. “No one is really supposed to know, but the Korean army sent me to help with Omnic forces. Were you sent for a similar reason?”

“Sort of,” Illari said before taking a sip of her drink. Something occurred to her. “Wait, are you Hana Song by chance?”

“Yup!” Hana answered with a smile.

“I thought you looked familiar, but I didn’t want to assume,” Illari told her. “Are there more famous people here? I feel so regular now.”

“You get used to it,” Brigitte said. “Outside of old Overwatch members, there’s Junkrat and Roadhog, who are somewhat famous. They robbed a bunch of banks across the world before they were caught.”

“Oh?” Illari said while furrowing her eyebrows.

“I’m Kiriko,” Kiriko said abruptly. They all looked at her like they forgot she was there. She had gotten so caught up in her thoughts about Illari that she forgot to speak to her. “I'm sorry, I realized a bit late that I hadn’t introduced myself.”

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you, Kiriko,” Illari said, putting emphasis on Kiriko's name. Kiriko could’ve melted right there. That accent was going to be the death of her.

-----------------

Illari stood to the side of the medbay doors, just out of view of whoever might be sitting at the nurses station. She had a plan in place; she just needed the courage to carry it out. She checked her bag, which contained a note and two bottles, one with water and the other with sake she ”borrowed” from Hanzo, the last items she’d need. Letting out a sigh, she walked into the medbay.

“Bonjou, Illari. Are you ready for a good work day?” Baptiste asked. He was always so kind and genuine to people, even if it wasn’t deserved.

“Buen día. Yes, I am. How about you?” She responded. Baptiste being here put a small damper on her plan, as it meant more eyes to look out for. She was scheduled with Angela today and could hear her heels clicking down the hallway towards her.

“Good morning, Illari,” Angela greeted her. “How are you and your baby?”

That, for some reason, made Illari look down at herself. Her stomach was small but visible, and it was somewhat pronounced in the scrubs she wore.

“Uh, we’re good,” Illari answered. Angela gave a thoughtful nod with a smile. With that, Illari walked off to the employee storage room. A small, mostly nondescript room is where personal belongings could be kept, and the work schedule was posted there. She sat down in one of the two random chairs available and let out a shaky sigh. Her nerves were getting bad as she thought of her plan. It was becoming increasingly hard to want to go through with, but she’d had enough and was ready to put an end to her suffering. Nothing would be a concern to her after this. She placed the bag on an open hook and walked back out towards the nursing station.

Illari’s shift went as normal. Going over homework, stocking the supply room, and doing lab work with Angela if she asked her to. The hours ticked by so slowly, but her plan was falling into place. It wouldn’t be long. She checked the computer in front of her for the time. 12:13 pm. She could wait longer or start now; however, she was anxious. The possibility of this not working was high, but other methods were either too painful or extremely gruesome. This needed to be quick, mostly painless, and leave her body intact. No more worrying or crying. No more hurt feelings. No more guilt and shame. She took a deep breath and stood up, heading towards the employee storage room. Taking the bottles out of her bag, she then headed to the medical supply closet. The light came on automatically when Illari walked in. Plain white tile, beige walls, and gray shelves of labeled medicine and equipment lay before her. She searched for a bit on which pill would be the most efficient, googling side effects when mixed with alcohol. Surprisingly, she didn’t need anything specific; regular painkillers were effective enough. Illari had gone snooping through the medication during her other shifts and found one about three rows to her right, two shelves down, which is where she walked over to. She rubbed her stomach and let out a deep breath. The call of the abyss was ever present in her mind, telling her to come forth and let go.

Steeling her nerves, she grabbed the bottle of pills and set them on a shelf better suited to her height. Opening the sake bottle, she took a sip and set it next to the pills. It burned going down, causing her to squint her eyes and pucker her lips. Everything was coming to fruition, though. Illari’s burdens would soon be lifted from her, and she’d be with her family again. Tears began to come down her face one by one, staining her scrubs and wetting her cheeks. She could do it. She didn’t do all that preparation for nothing. Someone would find her note, and her choice would be understood.

Popping the pill bottle open, Illari dumped out a fair amount of pills into her hand and paused. She was truly going to go through with this, and that would be the end of it.

‘Yes, the end. I will be okay,’ Illari thought to herself. She opened her mouth and tilted her head back; her hand hovered over her mouth. Hesitation was the only thing keeping her alive. With a frustrated sigh, she let the pills fall into her mouth, swallowing to the best of her ability. The dryness of the pills caused some of them to stick to her mouth and throat before she grabbed the sake bottle and took a large swig, washing the rest of the pills down.

The cough she let out was harsh. Her chest burned, and her eyes watered. With labored breath, she grabbed the pill bottle, pouring another handful of pills out. Hesitation took hold of her once again, but why? She had already done so mere seconds ago; the damage had been done. Illari repeated her previous actions, this time downing more of the sake. It didn’t burn as much this time, nor did she cough as much. She took a moment to take in everything. Her body was warming up, and her eyes were beginning to feel tired. Illari decided to sit down on the ground and think about her decision. She had really just done that. She was supposed to be dying soon. If she and her baby did not die, then she’d probably be put in a psych ward with no contact once she had given birth. Illari most definitely hated that idea. The thought of not being with her baby after the mental stress she went through to justify keeping it was terrifying. She needed her baby to be with her, regardless. Also, the idea of being stuck in a psych ward was less than ideal. She’d much rather be cast into the middle of the Pacific Ocean and left to drown.

Illari found herself yearning for her mother as her last minutes passed. Her mother would probably tell her it’s not the end of the world, but for Illari, it truly was. Her boyfriend resented her for keeping a baby he didn’t want; her family and the protectors of her home were massacred at her hands; she was too much of a coward to deal with the consequences, and here she was again, running away from her problems by attempting suicide. She let out a frustrated sigh and wiped the tears off of her face, something she’d been doing for years now.

Deciding she had enough, Illari attempted to stand, but her legs were weak, making it harder than necessary. This was taking effect faster than she thought it would. She turned her head to the left, and the whole room seemed to shift with her. The sudden motion caused her to stumble forward. She caught herself from falling and looked back at the bottle of sake, causing her vision to blur and turn. She closed her eyes and let out a whimper.

“Too much movement,” Illari thought to herself. Inti forgives her, but he knows what she's been through. She and her little baby would be accepted with open arms. Her family is filled with tears and smiles at being reunited with their loved one, plus a new addition. Inti shines his rays of understanding over her.

Suddenly, she let out a piercing scream and clenched her stomach. Illari’s stomach had begun to cramp intensely, and she could do nothing but hold herself and slowly get to the ground. The door abruptly opened.

“Is everything alright in here!?!?” A voice called out, asking Baptiste if she was correct. She was in too much pain and too intoxicated to do much thinking. Letting out a pitiful groan, she laid down on her side. Foot steps came towards her, and she heard a panicked gasp. “U-u-u Are you alright? What happened?” He asked her. Illari opened her mouth to answer, but she could only let out another harrowing scream. Heels quickly hitting the floor could be heard entering the room.

“Is everything okay?!?!” A voice asked, Angela, if Illari’s recollection was right.

“I don’t think so; I just found her like this,” Baptiste answered. Illari’s chest heaved as she took in deep breaths, but it wasn’t doing much. Another cramp and another scream were let out. She could feel Baptiste put his hands on her, but she couldn’t figure out why.

“Is that for sake?” Angela asked, walking towards the bottle. “Did you try to overdose?”

“I did,” Illari answered softly. Her mouth began to water, indicating she was most likely going to throw up. She began to try sitting up.

“I don’t think you should be moving too much." Baptiste got out before being cut off. Illari had begun to throw up violently; half-digested pills and food hit the floor with a loud splat. She screamed as another cramp hit, causing her to throw up again. She heard feet moving about frantically in the room. “Do we keep Narcan here?!” Baptiste asked.

“I don’t remember, but hopefully we have something!” Angela told him. "Illari, hold on, please.”

She heaved again, this time releasing bile and blood. ‘When will this be over?’ Illari thought to herself. Slowly, she began to lay down, her body weak and cold. Her eyes were low as she tried to gather herself.

“Don't lay down!" Angela yelled. This caused Illari to jump a bit and give her the smallest amount of energy. She whimpered and rolled to her other side. Her stomach still hurt, but she wasn’t throwing up anymore.

“I think I found something!” Baptiste said. He came rushing back, trying his best to avoid the mess she made. Illari genuinely wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold up. It was cold on the floor, and her augments weren’t helping her produce heat. She got what she wanted, and sooner or later she’d be dead. No more tears, no more worry, no more... no more anything. Her world began to fade away.

Finally…

Illari’s eyes opened to mostly darkness. There was a bit of moonlight coming through her curtains, giving the room just enough light. She sat up and pulled her knees to her body, noting that she was still in her towel. Something wet rolled down her face, and she used her hand to wipe it away, realizing that she had been crying in her sleep. That dream had felt so real. So final. She truly thought she had died and her problems had gone away.

As uncomfortable as she was with having an abortion, Hanzo’s recent behavior made her reconsider. It’d allow her to fully cut ties with him, and they could go back to being regular coworkers. Neither of them would have to truly speak to the other. No one would know but them, and things would slowly go back to normal.

She could just go back home too. Whatever her people felt about her for slaughtering her fellow Inti Warriors would be much easier to deal with. Well, would she go back pregnant? Would that help her at all, or would they just call her irresponsible and cast her back into the world? Illari sighed and laid back down. She couldn’t even call Hanzo back over to cuddle because she was infuriated by him at the moment. Times like this made her miss her mother deeply.

Illari’s hatred for herself was growing with each passing thought.

——————————-

The sound of his alarm going off had woken him up. He let out a soft groan from the hangover he suffered from. He was also remembering why he drank so much in the first place. Illari told him she was keeping her pregnancy, much to his mostly silent protest that she didn’t, and he called her stupid for it, so she made him leave. It had been days since then. He tried to come back and apologize, but she wouldn’t answer his calls or respond to his text messages. His calls went through, so he suspected he wasn’t blocked yet and that she knew he was attempting to contact her. Hanzo’s day was only beginning, and he was already drowning in the ocean of his mind. His thoughts of self-doubt, guilt, and shame flood and fill every crevice of his brain.

As much as he didn’t want to, he would eventually have to accept that he would be a father, and that was a challenge in and of itself. What had he gotten himself into? What had he done to her? He let himself get caught up in feelings of lust for someone he knew he should’ve left alone. Now he’s about to have a baby with an eighteen-year-old.

‘EIGHT-FUCKING-TEEN! What the hell is wrong with me?’ Hanzo thought to himself. ‘I hope I don’t get put on a list when everyone else finds out,’

Everyone else? He was definitely cooked once word got out. He could not handle the judgment and berating that would occur, especially from his brother. Genji’s disappointment would be insurmountable, and Hanzo wanted no parts. He sighed to himself and sat up. If he took initiative on the matter, maybe the backlash wouldn’t be so bad. Ugh, he was so worried about others when he needed to focus on him becoming a father and how he was going to get in contact with his girlfriend. Getting out of bed, Hanzo got himself ready for the day. Thankfully, it was Tuesday, so group training was the only thing mandatory for the day. He decided he would pay a visit to Zenyatta, hoping the Omnic could provide some wisdom on his situation.

Washed and dressed, Hanzo made his way to the cliff where Zenyatta meditated every morning, and as predicted, he was there. Surprisingly, Genji wasn’t there. Hanzo had been prepared to find a way to get Genji to leave.

“Good morning, Zenyatta-san,” Hanzo said, announcing his presence. Much like the last time he had a private conversation with the omnic, he looked up at Hanzo and smiled. Hanzo knew omnics could not smile, but it felt like there was one gracing Zenyatta’s face plate.

“Grand rising, Hanzo. Another beautiful morning provided by the Iris. Would you like to meditate with me today?” Zenyatta asked him.

“Not today; I was hoping you could provide some insight on a situation I am having,” Hanzo answered.

“Ah, of course. Sit and tell me more.” The omnic said this, motioning to the ground near me. Hanzo did as instructed and let out a sigh.

“A few days ago, Illari had a talk with Angela, Ana, and Vivian about her pregnancy. We were so nervous about what would happen to her once she told them, but she then told me that she’s keeping the baby and that she wouldn’t be punished for it,” Hanzo said, putting his head in his hands. He rubbed his face a few times before continuing. “I messed up and insulted her by calling her stupid for wanting to keep a child that the father didn’t want. She put me out of her room and won’t talk to me.”

“Have you tried getting her attention in different ways?” Zenyatta asked. He truly did not have extensive wisdom to offer on the matter, but it could not hurt to try and impart what he could.

“I put flowers in front of her door on Sunday with an apology card asking for her to talk to me. The roses were gone, but she did not contact me.”

“Hmm,” Zenyatta said as he pondered the situation. “I remember you telling me that you did not want anyone to know about her pregnancy or that you had fathered the child, correct?”

Hanzo sighed. “Yes, that is correct.”

“Perhaps you could speak to the same people she did and confess that you fathered the child. It may get her to talk to you,” Zenyatta suggested.

Hanzo narrowed his eyes and sneered lightly at the suggestion. Zenyatta could not be serious at the moment.

“Why would I tell on myself?”

“They would probably bring you both in to speak, given that you’re claiming to be the father and her boyfriend.”

Right, because if she had mentioned him, they most likely would’ve said something to him by now. Hanzo sighed again. Why did Zenyatta have to be right so often?

“That would give me the chance to speak to her, wouldn’t it?” Hanzo said more than asked. Zenyatta gave a silent nod. This was definitely going to be a bigger challenge for him than it should have been. He keeps claiming he loves her but wants her to keep it secret that they are dating and that he got her pregnant. It would only be right, especially since she’s taken the brunt of everything so far.

Hanzo had a choice to make.

Chapter Text

Days had gone by by the time Satya had the courage to tell anyone what she had seen on Hanzo’s phone. She was highly confused on what to do or say, as she didn’t want word to get out that she was potentially spreading rumors about a good friend. The information she held, though, was slowly eating away at her. Satya didn’t know much about Illari, but what she did know was that Hanzo and Illari had no business being intimate together. Her feelings were not being impacted by the information Genji had given her; she truly felt as though the two of them being together was wrong. The difficulty Satya faced was due to her uncertainty of how to approach Hanzo. It was a sensitive subject that held many negative implications about her friend that could ruin his reputation if word somehow got out. She desperately needed to speak to Niran on the matter. He usually gave her good advice and was mostly non-judgmental. Satya sighed to herself as she sat on the side of her bed. A part of her felt as though maybe she was too invested in something that genuinely had nothing to do with her; however, Satya remembered being around Illari’s age and being approached by men close to, if not Hanzo’s age. They usually wanted someone young, pretty, and naive who did not question them much and was willing to fuck them, mostly on demand. The very few she did briefly date attempted to use their money and status to go keep her tethered to them as they also worked for Vishkar and had promises of putting in a good word for her while she was an undergrad. This often came to a halt when they realized she was not easily controlled by wealth and influence, or they were disheartened that she did not remove herself from her studies to hang out with them and jet set wherever. Once they realized she was dedicated to her studies and would not be up under them all day, they left her alone.

Now, one could say that painting Hanzo with the same brush as her ex’s was unfair, but Satya would argue that Hanzo painted himself with that brush when he decided to be romantically involved with an eighteen year old, allegedly. The more Satya thought, the more she put together. Why would Hanzo tell Genji he was interested in or involved with her if he was busy with Illari? It was most likely a cover-up, yet Hanzo told Genji he was involved with a younger woman and asked his thoughts on an older man dating a younger woman. Did Hanzo ask that to test the waters on people’s thoughts about him being with Illari?

‘Ugh, this is too much,’ Satya thought to herself. Sitting up in her bed, she checked her phone for the time, any emails she might’ve missed, and to send Niran their daily good morning text, adding that she wanted to talk to him about something important. Sighing, she began to get ready for the day. The whole Hanzo situation was disturbing her morning routine more than it should have. Another hard sigh, and she left the bathroom, satisfied with her appearance. Satya picked her choice of shoe from the shoe rack by the door, slid them on, and opened the door to—Oh! There stood Niran, casually dressed in a white t-shirt, gray joggers, and basic black gym shoes.

“Good morning, my lotus flower! I got dressed immediately to make sure my best friend was okay,” Niran told her. “Is everything okay?”

Satya put her head down and let out another deep sigh. She stepped back to let him into her room, where they both removed their shoes and found places to sit.

“It is about Hanzo, and the situation is conflicting, off-putting if you will,” she told him. Satya spent the better part of 10 minutes explaining her issues and a bit of her feelings on the matter. Niran did not speak much, mostly due to how shocked by the information being given to him. They sat and looked at each other in silence, as he was disgusted by the situation.

“So you’re saying that Hanzo and Illari are romantically involved somehow?” Niran said slowly. His saying he felt disgusted by the idea was an understatement, as he couldn’t find the proper word to use. He believed his friend even though he was hoping that this was a misreading of the messages sent between the two, but Satya most likely would not be this distraught. She wouldn’t have worried this badly if it were just speculation. Unfortunately, for his good friend, he was just as lost on what to do. While on the one hand he had dated older men and women when he was Illari’s age, on the other hand he had since grown and matured and thought of those past relationships as inappropriate. He gave his younger self grace, as he did not know better at the time. So how do you go about telling someone you think their relationship was inappropriate without seeming overly involved with their business? Well, you can’t, especially in a situation like this.

Niran rubbed at his face, “I think maybe it’d be best to simply confront him head-on. I know that you do not do well with that and are nervous about losing your friendship with him, but,” he said, pausing. “Do you want to be friends with someone like that?”

Once again, they sat and looked at each other in silence.

“Do not let me speak for you,” Niran quickly threw in.

“You are fine; I am just... thinking,” Satya said. “I agree with you, though. I just was not sure if I was overstepping or not.

“I do not think you would be overstepping. He would have the opportunity to clear up any confusion, and hopefully it was just a wrong message situation,” the gentle giant assured his friend. Niran knew Satya enjoyed her friendship with Hanzo, so for her to see him receiving suggestive messages from their eighteen-year-old coworker was disheartening to her at the least. He did not know what to fully make of the situation either. He could have sworn Hanzo was involved with Cole and that Illari and Kiriko were something. He’d seen the two girls stuck to each other like glue for awhile. Had something happened between the couples to drive them apart and therefore allow Illari and Hanzo to pursue one another? That did not make sense, but he was an outsider looking in.

“It doesn’t make sense,” the architect blurted out.

“Hmm?” Niran said.

“Hanzo and Illari, besides age, seemingly do not have much in common,” Satya followed up.

“How so?”

“For starters, Hanzo is a former yakuza member turned assassin and has a problem with alcohol.”

“I did not know he had an alcohol problem,” Niran said with a bit of surprise.

“It was not my intention to put his personal issues out there, but yes. Hanzo can go through two full bottles of sake and wake up without a hangover.”

Niran took this in silently. He did not know Hanzo nearly as well as Satya had, but what he did know was plenty. The woman across from let out a sigh. He could tell she was contemplating what to do next.

“Am I supposed to just walk up to him and ask if he’s involved with her?” Satya asked with doubtfulness.

“Uh, sort of. You could start a normal conversation before bringing it up or say that you heard rumors,” Niran trailed off. “He will either deny it or tell on himself. Either way, you’ll have your answer.”

Satya did not know how well she liked the thought of that. Hanzo could simply lie to her or tell her off and never speak to her again. She let silence keep her again.

“Not to rush, but I am feeling a bit peckish. Would you accompany me to breakfast?” Niran asked. His friend nodded silently, and the two of them left for breakfast.

______

Hana put care into everything she did, even if it wasn’t needed. Setting up the table and tea set for her and Ana was no different. The two of them held meetings once a week to catch up with each other and spill hot tea or gossip, if you’re old. All of this wouldn’t be complete without getting high, of course. It would normally be frowned upon to smoke weed with your superiors, but Ana initiated the two of them smoking together. Hana thought her time with Overwatch was done when she had been caught, but the older woman had different plans.

______

Hana sat on her cushion in the supply closet; the not-dim-but-not-bright lighting provided her the ability to see just enough without the light escaping through the bottom of the door. She had a towel at the bottom of it but didn’t fully trust it to do much as it was there for mental security more than anything. The only reason she was in the closet in the first place was because she needed to smoke. This week had been unbearable, and Hana was more than ready to let the smoke fill her lungs and relax her mind. Hana tapped the bottom of the raw cone in her hand on her rolling tray to level out the shredded bud inside of it before packing it down with the flat end of a small chunky stick. Satisfied with her cone being filled, she folded the tiny edge pieces inwards to secure them. Picking up the lighter with her right hand and bringing the joint to her lips with her left hand, she flicked the lighter, letting the flame meet the joint tip as she inhaled deeply. Setting the lighter back down, she held the smoke in her lungs before exhaling through her nose, letting the smoke escape her nostrils with a smile.

“I needed this so bad,” Hana mumbled. Taking a second hit, she began to set up her phone and earbuds for video watching. Peace, her choice of noise, and a joint. She couldn’t have been more excited as she settled into her me-time.

Halfway into her joint, Hana heard footsteps outside in the hallway and froze in place, snatching her earbud out and holding her breath so she could hear better. No one should be over here; she purposely made sure to pick this closet because it was so isolated. She had heard talking outside the door but couldn’t make out what they were saying as it wasn’t in Korean or English. More she waited, breath held, the joint smoking itself, and the talking stopping outside the door. Hana’s heart began to jump out of her chest as she waited for her coworkers to pass the closet, but much to her horror, the door handle shook a bit before being pushed open, shoving the towel out the way in the process. Low and behold, it’s Ana Amari herself with her daughter right behind her.

‘Shit,’ Hana thought to herself. It’s over. Overwatch, gone. MEKA, gone. Her gaming sponsorships are gone. All because she wanted to smoke some weed in a damn supply closet. Her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach upon seeing the two of them, yet Ana did not look displeased, and neither did Fareeha. The two of them stared at her as she stared back.

“Do you share?” Ana asked the younger woman. A simple question opened a new way forward for them. As it turns out, they were looking for a similar area to chitchat in, but unlike her daughter, Ana wasn’t opposed to smoking with Hana, but for a small price to be discussed later. They both agreed to mostly not tell, and that’s how Hana and Ana began smoking together. It’d been almost a year since then, and the two of them had become quite close.

Going into her bag, Hana pulled out a dark brown vial containing the surprise she had for Ana. A weed tincture from the bud stems she had been collecting. The potency of a tincture is supposed to be very high compared to normal buds or edibles. Hana had given it a try once yesterday, just a drop, and could barely function, so hopefully it wouldn’t be too much for Ana. Two knocks, and the door opened to reveal Ana with a small bag. They gave each other big smiles while walking to meet each other halfway.

“Hi!” They said to each other before exchanging a small hug. They took respective seats across from each other at the table Hana set up.

“How have you been?” Hana asked as she began to pour the tea into cups for each of them.

“I have been well and yourself,” Ana said.

“I’ve been good; I’ve been good,” Hana said while nodding. “Since it’s my turn to provide the Mary of Jane, I decided to bring something new.”

She picked up the small vial and placed it more directly in front of Ana. The older woman sat up in interest and took the bottle into her hands.

“Is this a tincture?” Ana asked.

"Mm-hm, I made it myself,” Hana answered proudly. Ana sat the vial back on the table respectfully.

“Have you tried it yet?” Ana asked. She began to take out the snacks she brought for Hana.

“Yeah, and it’s pretty strong,” Hana answered, grabbing the tincture and pulling out the half-full dropper. She held it over her cup and allowed two drops to fall in. Even with yesterday's knowledge, she was prepared, or as prepared as she could be, for two drops.

“Okay, when I said this was strong... are these for me?" Hana asked excitedly. Ana nodded with a small smile. She wasn’t expecting anything, but Ana had laid a bag of spicy Doritos, sour gummy worms, and a coke on the table for Hana to take. “Thank you so much!”

“I know how the munchies make you act,” Ana said playfully, receiving a giggle from her subordinate. Hana pulled the snacks to her side of the table and took a small pause.

“Oh!” Hana said, sliding the vial over to Ana. “So, again, this is strong. I recommend one drop for your first cup or for the day really, but I’ll let you decide.”

Ana inspected the bottle from afar with a curious look. “Hana, girl, you got me scared.”

This elicited a laugh from the gamer. “No need to be scared, just cautious.”

Sighing, Ana took the dropper and dropped two drops into her own cup, which caused her to gasp.

“What’s wrong?”

“I put two drops instead of one,” Ana told her.

“Oh… I would offer to switch, but I put two drops too,” Hana said slowly, her eyes scanning the room for a solution. “You could pour it out or I’ll drink it!”

Ana just shrugged, picking up the cup and swishing the contents around to mix everything together. “It’s fine, I’ll just drink one cup.”

“Oh- ok,” Hana mumered. “Well then,"

Hana held up her cup for a cheer that Ana completed. They both blew on their tea and took a sip.

“Chai?” Ana asked.

“Yeah, I wanted to do something simple since we’re adding the tincture,” Hana told her. Ana gave a nod in understanding as she took her second sip.

“The tincture blends well,” Ana complimented.

“Thank you,” Hana said while beaming. “So should I start or will you?”

“Mm!” Ana exclaimed while sitting up and readjusting herself. “I’ll go first, so your informant was right; Illari is pregnant.”

“Damn, I was hoping it wasn’t true,” Hana responded.

"Yup, and I’ll also add that she does not know who the father is,” Ana said, taking another sip.

Hana took a deep gasp at the tea being spilled. “No! No, how?”

Ana sighed and set her cup. “Illari is saying she got sexually assaulted by a man on the beach while drunk.”

“What?!?!” Hana said before racking her brain to remember if she remembered anything similar as her and Illari had gone to the beach together before.

“Yup,” Ana said before picking up her cup again and taking a sip. “To be quite honest, I don’t believe her.”

The room went silent between the two, and Hana tilted her head to the side a bit, giving Ana a face of concern.

“And why don’t you believe her?" Hana asked slowly. Ana sighed.

“The story is too convenient, and I say that because she was so defensive about telling us who she was involved with prior to telling us she was assaulted,” Ana told the woman across from her.

"Okay, wait, who’s us?” Hana asked.

“Angela, Vivian, and myself,” Ana confirmed, receiving a nod of understanding.

"And Illari didn’t feel comfortable enough to share that at first, so that makes you not believe her when she said she’d been assaulted." Hana said slowly, taking a sip of her tea-weed concoction. This got a guttural sigh from Ana.

“I’m not explaining this well enough. Illari went to Cole and told him she was pregnant, and in turn he told Vivian and me. We heard this, called in Angela, and made him bring Illari to us immediately,” Ana said.

“Mmhm,” Hana chimed in to continue conversation.

“Illari confirms in person she is pregnant, and Angela knew for weeks already,” Ana paused, taking a sip of her tea. “Vivian tells her if she wants to abort, she’ll still be eligible to go on the mission coming up, and Illari says she doesn’t want to abort.”

“Mm,” Hana said. She still didn’t know how much she liked her superior, saying she didn’t believe a subordinate was assaulted but was willing to let Ana finish.

“Naturally, we asked why she didn’t want to abort because she’s so young and blaise blaise. Now I don’t know if she was frustrated or what, but she broke down into the saddest tears, telling us she didn’t want to abort because she doesn’t want to murder someone else close to her,” Ana said, finishing off her cup.

“Murder someone else close to her?!?!” Hana asked, bewildered. Ana nodded.

“You may not know, but Illari is Quechua, and the Quechua had technology that allowed them to harness the power of the sun into their bodies and weapons,” Ana said.

“Uh-huh,” Hana said while thinking to herself how this might be relevant.

“Illari was something of a prodigy for her age, and when it was time for her to graduate, naturally people were proud of her and wanted to support her,” Ana said, taking a small pause to sip her tea. “Every single Inti Warrior—that’s what the fighters were called—every single one came out on her graduation day. The machine that gives them their powers malfunctioned and blew up with Illari inside. Somehow she lived, but everyone else in the room died, including her immediate family.”

Hana sat with her mouth agape. She did not know that about Illari. They had hung out a few times, but not enough to know this. The story didn’t answer Hana’s question, though.

“Illari felt responsible for their deaths, and fast forward to now; she doesn’t want to abort and feels like she’s murdering someone else,” Ana finished with.

Hana took a second to sit with what she had been told. “That is horrible that she feels she has to keep her assaulters baby because of that.”

“Yes, but Illari didn’t mention being assaulted until after that... outburst?” Ana stated, which received a sigh from Hana.

“Not gonna lie, you’re starting to lose me. So far I believe her, so I can’t see why you wouldn’t,” Hana told her. Ana rolled her eyes.

“Okay, Illari was very reluctant to give up any info regarding who fathered the pregnancy, telling us it wasn’t our business until Angela asked her flat out if she knew the father,” Ana said. “Illari then said no that she did not know the father and felt as though it was embarrassing to not know. Angela, fucking Angela, then tells her it’s okay to not know the child’s father.”

Hana put her head in hands.

“Illari proceeds to tell us that one night at the beach, she got too drunk and walked off with some guy. All she remembers is her bikini top coming off before ending up back on base. The three of us are looking at her like “what the fuck,” and she cleared up that she didn’t see herself as a victim, but Angela told her she was essentially too drunk to consent even if she chose to walk off with him. Now you can’t make someone accept they're a victim, but I could see the gears turning,” Ana said.

“And that’s why you don’t believe her?” Hana asked slowly. This explanation was not helping Ana in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, that tincture has me everywhere,” Ana said, and they both chuckled. “I had to give background so you understood why I feel the way I do." Ana took a pause to collect her thoughts. “I shouldn’t say I don’t believe she was assaulted, but what I should say is that I believe she A) the beach stuff never happened, and she knows the father but is choosing to keep it secret for whatever reason, or B) she was fully aware of what happened at the beach but is choosing to act like she doesn’t know out of embarrassment,” Ana Said. “I kept saying I didn’t believe she was assaulted because Angela pointed out that that was assault. To me, it sounded like a cover-up for a shameful hoe moment.”

"Okay, okay, I think I’m with you,” Hana said. Drunk sex is such a gray area, especially with what’s being described to her. She saw both Illari and Angela’s points. Ana was still in an odd area in her mind with not believing someone was sexually assaulted and then peppering in slut shaming? Hana wasn’t feeling it.

“So-“ “I-“

"No, you go,” Hana said.

“I wanted to ask if you knew anything about what could’ve happened at the beach." Ana asked.

Hana took a deep inhale. “Uh, I don’t know about her walking off with people because we all stuck together, but I will say she was sloppy drunk.”

“I did not know she got down like that,” Ana said.

“Ay, I couldn't believe my eyes either, but after you told me what happened with her family, I’m not shocked anymore. I’d drink till I couldn’t no more too,” Hana said, finishing her cup. The two of them sat there for a moment in silence.

Hana broke the silence with, “So say the beach guy was fake, woul- woul-." Hana let out a sigh because she truly did not want to think about this. “Do you think someone on base got her pregnant?”

Ana’s eyes went wide, and she grabbed her chest. “I hope not; it’s so many men here old enough to be her father. Oh! I would be so disappointed and ashamed.”

“Yeah, I’d been thinking about that since I told you she was pregnant. Lucio dusted his hand immediately and said it wasn’t him,” Hana said.

Ana made a clicking noise with her mouth. “He would be the best option, but still considerably older than her.”

"Yeah, I’m praying that it’s not Cole or Genji,” Hana said.

“I’d personally hang Cole from the flagpole by his ears if he ever dared to get an 18-year-old pregnant at his advanced age,” Ana ranted. This got a good laugh out of Hana.

“Not advanced age,” Hana said, chuckling. Checking her phone for the time told her their meeting was over and that group training was beginning soon. “Same day, same time, same place?”

“Same day, same time, same place,” Ana repeated in agreement. The two of them began to tidy up the room; the high of the tincture was beginning to settle into the nooks and crannies of their bodies as the munchies lurked in the shadows, waiting to make its presence known.

_____

The sky was overcast but bright, leaving the sun rays to dance on Illaris face as she looked out the car window. Angela was bringing her home from her first prenatal appointment, raising more internal questions for herself. About him. How he should’ve been there to support her, not Angela. Speaking of Angela, Illari could feel her glancing over even though she hadn’t turned her head from the window. She knew the older woman wanted to ask her 1000 questions, but Angela didn’t say anything, watching the road ahead with a passive look. Illari questioned herself daily if she was making the right decision by keeping Hanzo a secret, but she felt like the situation was too far gone, especially after he yelled at her, calling her STUPID! She sighed. She rubbed the ultrasound pictures she’d gotten earlier in between her fingers. 12 weeks pregnant. 12 weeks pregnant with Hanzo’s baby... She thought she’d be happier after her appointment and seeing the baby, yet she still felt disappointment in herself. Be it because she was pregnant, lying about and for Hanzo, or her general self-hatred for what she’d done to her fellow Initi Warriors... her family.

The car made the turn into the long driveway, signifying that she made it home. As much as she wanted to lay down in bed and hide from the world, she couldn’t. Group training, like any training, was mandatory for all Overwatch members. The car stopped in the garage, and Illari got out of the car and headed to her room—not a word was spoken to Angela, who did not make an effort to stop her. She made it to her room without a bother and changed into her workout clothes.

Illari ran her hands down her body and over her gym clothes as she stood in front of the mirror. She studied herself in the shirt, hoping it concealed her bump. The shirt did and did not hide the bump. From the front, she was fine, but the side view definitely gave her away. She wanted to wear a bigger shirt, but the group mandated that you wear either the branded Overwatch shirt or nothing/sports bra, and unfortunately, her shirt had shrunken in the months she’d had it. She turned to the side in the mirror again.

“Inti, I’m huge,” she whispered in disbelief. She grunted in frustration. Illari was not ready to face other people and let them know she was pregnant. She couldn’t handle more rounds of stares and whispers about “what happened." She would be lying if she said she didn’t care what others think when it came to her being pregnant. Yet why should she care? Her life, her decisions, no? Correct! She’ll hold her head high and preserve. She ran her hands over her clothes once more and left her room, making her way to the gym.

As Illari approached the gym, she could hear music playing and a couple of people standing around outside talking to each other. Of course, they notice her and say hi, to which she gives a quick one back. Her heart was starting to race as she got closer to the gym door. No one gave her strange looks walking up, so why was she like this? Illari exhaled silently. She was confident in her decision to keep her pregnancy, but fear of judgment lingered within her. Oh, how she missed Hanzo and his words.

“Uh, are you going to go in?” A voice said behind her. Illari jumped, startled out of her thoughts. It was Fareeha with Mei.

“Yeah, yeah,” Illari said as she opened the door and walked in, quickly finding an open spot to stand in. Oh no, there Hanzo was, shirtless with his long hair pulled up as he talked to Genji and Vivian. Her heart skipped a beat, still longing for her love even though he’d broken it days prior. He didn’t even turn his head towards the door when she opened it. And just like that, she was back to reality. Of course he wouldn’t look at her. She’s having his baby that he doesn’t want and thinks she’s stupid for it.

Right on que, Satya waltzes up to the trio and adds herself to the conversation with Hanzo; smiles abound. ‘This just gets better and better,’ she thought to herself. Hanzo was in her face, grinning ear to ear with his chest out like a whore! Illari rubbed her face in an attempt to calm herself. Hanzo was supposed to be grinning with her. He was supposed to talk to Genji and Vivian with her. He was supposed to be out in public with her! She could feel her body temperature rising the more she looked at the two of them. All Illari wanted was to be loved out loud by Hanzo Shimada.

Satya gave her a quick look over with an upturned lip before returning attention back to the group.

‘Why did she look at me like that?’ Illari thought to herself. She wasn’t hiding that she was looking at them, but she didn’t think it was that noticeable. She ran her hand over her stomach and looked towards the door. This was all becoming too much for her; maybe she should leave... She began to head towards the gym doors, not caring about the consequences of missing group training. As soon as she walked out, she was greeted by Angela, who wanted to speak about something.

‘Of course you want to speak to me when I’m running away.’

______

Hanzo caught a glimpse of her leaving the gym, causing his heart to ache at his own decisions. He had so much he wanted to say to her, but she refused to give him the time of day. Group training had finished, and Illari did not return. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t concerned about her. He felt horrible every time he thought back to the evening he called her stupid. To think she was so excited to see him too. The likelihood of her talking to him again was low. Hanzo might sound a bit dramatic, but the way he ignored him, let him know the two of them were done. Thoughts like these made him realize that while he had no desire to be a father, it was going to happen, and if he didn’t fix things with Illari, he would miss out on raising his child.

Hanzo thought back to his childhood and how not having his mom was a painful experience. His mother left before he could form any real memories of her. As a young child, he’d look at the two pictures that were left and wonder if he and his brother caused her to leave or something else. His father never mentioned his ex-wife, at least not to him and his brother. The one time he asked his father about his mother was to clear the air on if he and Genji were why she left. His father had told him that his mother's leaving had nothing to do with him, yet he couldn’t truly believe that, as he was unsure of his father’s feelings for him as well.

The fear of his father calling him a disappointment was a heavy one that still weighed on his chest even though his father had long passed. He never asked his father his opinion of him, and it was far too late to try now. He had reassured others that his father was proud of him, but their words held no water for him. In light of his situation with Illari, he thinks of his father more than ever. Hanzo did not know what his father would be more displeased of—him impregnating an 18-year-old or him having her lie about him being her child’s father. His brain had been running rampant with anxiety. He could not let his child grow up how he did, wondering why one parent wasn’t around and if he was good enough for the other. He just could not let that happen.

However, his mind shifted to his reputation and how this would affect him socially. Selfish... how could he be a father or good partner with this mindset? He had a lot of self-reflection to do. He was not ready to be a father, but he needed to get ready, which was easier said than done. He held out on children for as long as he did because he did not want to be like his parents. Outright abandonment or being emotionally unavailable were much easier to do than properly raising a child. He wasn’t terrified of having children, just terrified to have one with Illari, especially since she will not talk to him.

A knock on his door took his attention away from his thoughts. No one told him they wanted to come over either. Hanzo arose from his bed and walked to the door, from which another knock erupted. He could tell the knock that it was nothing important. Opening the door, he was greeted by the sight of his brother, Genji. The two stared at each other for a second before Hanzo spoke.

“What do you want?”

Genji gave a grin before responding. “To see my favorite brother, why else?”

Hanzo let out an aggregated sigh. “Now isn’t a good time,”

“Aw, you got Sym over here?” Genji teased. That was Hanzo’s last straw. Without a word, he closed the door in Genji’s face. He was not in the mood for his younger brother’s shenanigans. He got back in bed before scrolling through his various social media accounts, letting his mind go until another knock came from his door. He had half the mind to not answer it considering a call or text hadn’t been made. Reluctantly, he got out of bed again and answered the door. Much to his surprise, it was Satya on the other side.

“Hello,” Hanzo said.

“Hello, Hanzo. Do you have a moment to speak?” Satya asked.

‘Not really,’ he thought. “Yes, I do. Come in,” Hanzo said, stepping aside to let her in. She took her shoes off and left them at the door, taking a seat at his desk while he sat on his bed.

“Sorry about the mess in here. What did you want to talk about?” Hanzo asked. She took a deep inhale and leaned into her chair.

“Um…” Satya said while scratching her head. ”Last week during our meeting, you left your phone behind, and I did look at your phone, in which I saw... interesting messages between you and Illari.”

______

Ana licked the caked-up cheese seasoning off of her fingers almost intimately. The family-sized bag of cheese puffs stood no chance against her and the munchies. She stuck her hand back in the bag, fetching three cheese puffs and ungraciously shoving them into her mouth with a loud moan. Damn, she needed these so bad.

“Ana,”

This caught her attention, causing her to look up from the bag of chips. It was Angela who called out to her and was already walking towards her.

“Hello, Angela. Would you like some?” Ana offered.

"No, but I do have a question,” Angela said with squinted eyes. Ana was taller, but that didn’t mean she had to look at her like this.

“Alright,” Ana said, shoving more cheese puffs in her mouth.

“Are you high?” Angela almost whispered. Ana turned her face up and snorted.

“Do I look high to you?” She retorted with her mouth full.

"Yes, actually, you look very high,” Angela told her. “Your eyes are so red I could see them from back there.”

Ana rolled her very red eyes. “It’s not that noticeable.”

"Ana, you have red eyes and a family-sized bag of cheese puffs in your hands; a blind man could see that you’re high.”

Ana opened her mouth to say something, but Angela cut her off.

“Just go to your room. I’ll tell anyone who asks that you aren’t feeling well,” Angela said while walking off. Ana wanted to fight back and ask Angela where she got the authority to do such a thing, but she was too high to truly care.

Chapter Text

Hanzo sat silently and expressionless. He had to choose his next words wisely. Satya was smart and probably knew more than he thought she would. There could not have been someone better to question him than her.

“Interesting, how?” Hanzo asked back, feigning confusion.

“Well, she messaged you saying she couldn’t wait to see you, invited you to her room and used heart emojis which are quite intimate to me personally,” Satya told him.

“Oh,” Hanzo said. “She sent me those by accident,”

“Mm, So then why did she call you three times prior to that? Surely, she would have noticed that she called you instead of someone else?” Satya said. Hanzo just stared at her for a moment. She had full eye contact with him and hadn’t wavered. She was serious.

“Is this a joke?” Hanzo asked with a slight chuckle.

“Why would this be a joke?” Satya asked, confusion in her voice.

“Because why would Illari and I be romantically involved? A bit absurd if you ask me,” he told her.

“I’m glad we agree on that which is why I am asking about what I had seen,”

“Which I am telling you was a mistake. She didn’t mean to send those messages or call me,”

The two of them were silent again. Satya looked at him with skepticism from squinted eyes.

“I don’t believe you,” Satya said bluntly. Hanzo was taken aback. He did not think she would call his bluff so quickly.

“What do you mean?” He asked her.

“You’re lying about being involved with Illari,” she answered.

“Why would I lie about something like that?” He said like he wasn’t lying through his teeth.

“Because she’s 18 and you KNOW how it would affect you if someone else found out,” Satya said matter-of-factly.

“Well since you KNOW so much, Satya, why are you bother- talking to me about it?” Hanzo asked, annoyed. He regretted opening the door now.

“Because it’s about you and I care about you. Something I am rethinking,” she answered. He rolled his eyes.

“You care so much about me that you’re accusing me of dating our 18-year-old coworker? Cool, truly love and care in that,”

“I respected you enough to ask you about this and not just blindly believe something is going on. Although the veil has been lifted,” Satya told him. Now, she was pissing him off. She waltzed herself to his room just to let him know that she knew about him and Illari. Who’s to say she wouldn’t tell their superiors in an attempt to get at him. What was her motive?

“So what now, Satya? You take this information to Jack or Vivian and become a hero?” Hanzo said with a sneer. “A waste of time. They will find nothing and you’ll be known as a liar,”

“Trying to intimidate me? I know I will not be called a liar because I tell the truth,” Satya retorted calmly. Hanzo was hot. He couldn’t pull his thoughts together well enough to defend himself and she wasn’t letting up. He needed to know what she was going to do with the little information she had. It was just enough to blow him and his love- Illari’s cover. He couldn’t let that happen, not until he was ready.

“Tell me what you’re going to do,” Hanzo said firmly.

“So you can prepare? No,” Satya said while chuckling.

“You think you’re so clever. This is a waste of time and helps no one,” He told her.

“To you. To you, this is a waste of time and no help to anyone because it negatively affects you,” Satya retorted. They sat in silence again. Hanzo was bouncing his leg in attempt to stay calm, but a large part of him wanted to slam her into the wall and tell her to leave. Mmm, this was getting bad for him. He hated that violence was one of his responses to problems he faced. She was toying with him and had no plan for the information she held. Starting problems just to do so. While Satya probably thought Hanzo and Illari were a fling, it was so much more than she realized. The two of them had unmatched passion and drive for each other. Their attraction was unexplainable being more than words could describe. Satya chose to break their silence.

“So are you two together or is she just something to use until you work things out with Cole?” Satya said, seemingly pleased with herself. That was too far. Who the hell did she think she was? Hanzo was done here.

“Leave,” Hanzo said firmly. She tilted her head to the side like a confused dog.

“Cole is still-“

“Leave!” He shouted while standing up. She didn’t flinch, leaning back in her chair to accommodate a new view for him.

“Again, you do not-“

She was cut short by Hanzo abruptly grabbing her arm and yanking her out of the chair.

“Let go of me!” Satya yelled, trying to release her arm from his iron tight grip. He did not let up, essentially dragging her to the door.

“You should have listened the first time,” he responded. Opening the door, he mustered up his strength and used it to sling her out the door. She hit the ground with a thud, the contents of her purse spilling out.

“Don’t you EVER do anything like that again,” Hanzo said while shutting the door.

_______

Another small conference room that involved her and Angela sitting across from each other. Illari hoped that Angela would drop the “beach thing” sooner than later. Angela gave her the same sad eyes since she told that lie and it was slowly eating at her. She regretted telling the lie to cover Hanzo, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone about the two of them. It was just-

“Illari?” Angela said, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Did you hear me?”

No, Illari had not heard her over her own thoughts. “No, I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay, you’re going through a lot,” Angela responded. Illari wanted to roll her eyes but refrained. She was tired of people commenting on her life’s circumstances.

“Are you excited?” Angela asked, receiving a blank stare.

“Excited about what?” Illari asked back. She had nothing to be excited for. Her secret boyfriend left her while pregnant and called her stupid for keeping his baby! As much as she hated to admit it, he cut her deep that night.

“T-the baby?” Angela answered with slight confusion. “Are you excited about the baby?”

‘Yes, so eager to have that rape baby I told you about,’ Illari thought to herself. “Yeah,” she said deadpan.

“It’s okay if you aren’t, I know your emotions are complicated given how it happened,” Angela told her. Illari just stared at her and Angela looked back at her. They sat this way for about a minute. “Did you want to head back to the gym? I feel like I’m bothering you,”

“Because you are,” Illari snapped, her eyes going wide as she immediately came to the realization of what she said. Angela didn’t immediately speak but furrowed brows and narrowed blue eyes said enough. Illari couldn’t believe what came out of her mouth but it felt so freeing to speak her mind.

“I haven’t done anything but be nice to you and you treat me as if I’m a problem,” Angela said. Illari was silent as she had nothing to defend herself. The older woman was right though. She hadn’t been the nicest to her even though Angela did nothing but support her and her pregnancy.

“I have been thinking about the day you found out you were pregnant in my office. Ever since I asked you if you knew the father of your child, you’ve been distant,” Angela noted. “Not that we were particularly close, but I did not mean to offend you by asking that, especially since I was not aware of you being assaulted. For that, I apologize,”

Illari raised her eyebrows in surprise. Angela had no need to apologize and did so anyway. She had not realized she had been treating Angela rudely for that long. The past weeks were a blur of mixed emotions for her and treatment of others had mostly been a non-factor.

“I’m sorry for treating you that way,” Illari said, sincerely. “With everything going on I didn’t realize how rude I could be,”

“It’s alright. The apology is appreciated. I’ll let you go,” Angela told her. Illari took her leave quietly and began to make her way back to the dorms.

Words couldn’t truly convey the emotions Illari felt as she walked back to her room. A part of her so desperately wanted to cry yet she could not bring her tears out. They had been wasted on a man who seemingly used her and tossed her to the side once she was no longer of use to him. A tale as old as time. Distancing herself from her emotions was becoming increasingly harder as her pregnancy progressed. Illari could stifle them more easily a few weeks ago, but was it truly a good thing? She opened the door to her room and closed it behind her, pressing her back to it and letting out a deep sigh. Her room was a mess, clothes everywhere, water bottles strewn about, old chip bags spilled over the top of the garbage. Illari was tired of it looking this way but not tired enough to fix it. Sighing, she began to undress. Tossing her shirt next to the hamper, her sports bra was simply dropped and she tossed her shorts behind her, crawling back into the sweet embrace of her bed. Per usual she wanted Hanzo next to her. She hated how much energy she gave to him mentally. He did not love or care about her, clearly.

The heavy vibration of her phone ringing caught her attention. She did not get many calls with Hanzo being the main one but she blocked him, so who could it be? Her heart skipped a beat at seeing the purple pixelated skull on her screen. Sombra had not contacted her since she joined Overwatch, what could she want? Hesitantly, she tapped the purple icon and it spread across her screen, taking over. She remained silent for a moment.

“Hola chica, don’t act brand new, you know it’s me~” came from the phone. Illari let out a sigh of partial relief.

“Hi, Sombra,”

“See? Was that so hard?” Sombra joked, causing Illari to roll her eyes.

“Should I be worried about Talon?”

“Not at the moment. Smart move joining Overwatch,” Sombra told her. Illari probably would’ve been kidnapped by Talon if it weren’t for Sombra.

“It was that or hide in the woods,” Illari responded.

“True,” Sombra said. “What’s Overwatch like?”

“Uh,” Illari said. “It’s not bad at all. It’s like a military boarding school. We wear uniforms, schedules to follow and what not,”

“Hmm, interesting. Well, I’m coming out to your neck of the woods and would love to meet up,”

“Why would I meet up with you? Isn’t your identity being secret important?”

“Yeah I’m not worried about that. I’ve got some information you’ve been looking for,”

Of course she has information when everything is falling apart. Illari let out a sigh. “When will you be here?”

“This Saturday. I heard about a cute pastry shop near you that would be perfect to meet at,” Sombra told her. Saturday was almost too short notice for Illari but who was she kidding? It’s not like she had plans anyway.

“What time,”

“13:00. Not too early, not too late,”

“Fine,”

“Aww cheer up, I don’t bite,”

“Yeah, yeah,”

“Well then, ill let you go chica. See you soon,”

“Bye,”

She put her phone down and sighed. The past two weeks have been the worst and now some mega criminal hacker wanted to meet and talk like they were friends. She didn’t have those. Not really.

__________

The day has turned to night. Morale lifted amongst the members in anticipation for tonight’s party. Kiriko tussled her hair with her hands, giving it a more effortless messy look and not one that took 30 minutes longer than it should have. Looking at herself in the mirror she checked her makeup and outfit again making sure she was satisfied with her appearance. A black bustier, black faux leather leggings and black thigh high heeled boots were her choice of clothes for the party. She chose light silver accessories to match. Giving herself a cheeky smile in the mirror was the final touch. “Looking like a snack” was not enough to describe how sexy she felt. The vibration of her phone caught her attention. It was Hana trying to FaceTime her, so she accepted the call.

“Konichiwa,” Kiriko said.

“Konichiwa. You look cute,” Hana said.

“Thank you, you do too,”

“Should I meet you down there?”

“Yeah, I’m about to head down there now,”

“Alright,”

With that the call ended and Kiriko began to make her way to the party. The dorms they stayed in were built more recently by Symmetra and she surprisingly added a lounge area for everyone to hangout in. She got on the elevator and headed down to the first floor. As the doors opened, muffled music could be heard coming from the lounge area. Walking out the elevator and going right, she was greeted to the sight of a glass wall showing the party on the other side. Flashing strobe lights replaced the normal fluorescent lights, basic party decorations were put up and food and drink were available of course. Everyone was in different small groups talking to each other, drinking and laughing. With no more time to waste, Kiriko went in, the bass of the song energizing her.

Fuck this club up, fuck this, fuck this, fuck this club up (FLOCKA)
Fuck this club up, fuck this, fuck this, fuck this club up (FLOCKA)
Yeah, high heels on my tippies
Dolce & Gabbana is on my titties……..

Naturally, heads turned towards her direction with smiles and waves accompanying them. Kiriko returned them of course as she made her way to Hana and Brigette who were dancing near Lucio. He was at his Dj booth, off in his own world to some extent. The three young women agreed on a matching dress code of shoulders out and titties up to commemorate the last of the warm weather. Hana chose to wear a black heart line dress that has a low v point in the back. Her shoes were simple black heels with an ankle strap. Her hair was pulled back into a loose twisted bun and she had silver diamond studs with a tennis bracelet. Brig had on a black bandeau top with blue jean capris and black gym shoes. Her hair was braided on one side, leaving the rest down.

“You two look good,” Kiriko shouted over the music. They shouted their thank yous back.

“Go get a drink,” Brigette shouted. Kiriko rolled her eyes.

“You’re always forcing me to drink,” Kiriko joked.

“Because you need it,” Brig joked back. Doing as told, Kiriko went over to the drink table being run by Cole.

“What can I do for you, little lady?” Cole asked.

“I want to get there fast,”

“Say no more,” he said while grabbing a cup for her. He didn’t tell her what he was going to give her, but she saw two types of clear liquor, one was definitely vodka, topped by a kiss of orange-pineapple juice. “Here,” he said, handing her the cup. She took it a bit hesitantly as it was quite full.

“Uh, thank you,” She said while walking back to her friends. Taking a sip, she scrunched her face up at the bite and burn of the liquor.

“Yeah, it’s strong,” Hana said to her.

“I told him I wanted it that way too, eugh,” Kiriko responded. This made the other two laugh.

A chill came over Kiriko causing her to shudder. This really only happened when one person was around, like her spidey senses were tingling. She turned her head towards the door which showed her what she wanted but couldn’t have. Illari was walking into the room alone, something Kiriko hoped she could change. Wait, there’s something off about Illari. Kiriko took a sip of her drink and turned back towards her group.

“You have got to stop yearning for her,” Brigette told her.

“I am not yearning for her, I am concerned,” Kiriko admitted. Brig did not say anything, just took a sip of her drink. A few more songs had passed as Kiriko continued to enjoy her night. Everyone was singing, laughing, dancing you know, the good stuff. She was listening to Hana talk about going out Friday night when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around she was face to face with Illari.

“Hi,” Illari said. Kiriko opened her mouth to return the greeting but was interrupted.

“OMGEE! I thought you hated us and never wanted to talk to us again,” Hana drunkenly shouted. Illari chuckled a bit, causing Kiriko’s breath to catch in her throat.

“No, I don’t hate any of you,” Illari responded. Kiriko let out a mental sigh. ‘Good to know,’ Kiriko thought.

“Well, shiiiit, where you been?” Hana asked.

“I’ve been going through a lot,” Illari answered while scratching her head. ‘Yeah, we know,’ Kiriko thought to herself.

“I’m sorry if I ran you off. I didn’t realize how strong I was coming on,” Kiriko told Illari. She doesn’t know where the apology came from, she just wanted to be in her sun goddess’s good graces. This was a surprise to everyone else in the group too.

“Uh, thank you,” Illari said shocked. “I probably should’ve said something instead of blocking you,”

“No, its okay,” Kiriko reassured her. “It was genuinely my fault,”

“Now kiss,” Hana joked while making kissing noises. This caused the other girls to laugh.

‘I would if she let me,’ Kiriko thought.

“What are you drinking?” Brig asked Illari. The younger woman’s face contorted a few times.

“Uh, cranberry juice,” Illari answered timidly.

“Just cranberry juice? We are supposed to be young and turnt! Plain juice is for kids,” Hana said. More laughter came about at Hana’s drunkenness.

“Well I’ve overdone it before and do not want to do it again,” Illari answered.

“I feel it,” Kiriko reassured her. Although they knew why Illari really wasnt drinking, they chose not to peer pressure her and respect her wishes.

“Whell, EYE’M her to get fucked-“ Hana attempted to say before she stumbled in place, some of her cups contents spilling out. The other three girls laughed along with some of the others who had seen Hana fall over nothing.

“Damn, Hana,” Brigette said while holding her arm.

“No one saw anything,” Hana told them.

“I saw a fair amount,” Illari joked. The four of them stayed in their huddle, enjoying the night for what it was. Kiriko couldn’t get her mind right though, she was too distracted by Illari and her lack of something. AGH! Her spiritual attributes were going crazy and saying something, anything was off with their sun goddess.

“Where’s your light?” Kiriko said out loud.

“Huh?” Illari asked back, confused. Now, Kiriko was panicking to get her thoughts together

“Where my shakers at?” Lucio said over the speakers. This got an eruption of cheers from the room as the beat of the song started to pick up.

“Did you ask me about a light?” Illari said.

“It’s the drink getting to me. I can’t even think straight,” Kiriko said while chuckling. This got a small laugh from Illari and it made Kiriko melt.

But seriously, what happened to Illari’s glow? Her sunshine had faded.

_____________

“Let go of me!” Satya yelled. She attempted to use her weight to get out of his grasp but it caused him to drag her.

“You should’ve listened the first time,” Hanzo told her. He opened the door with his free hand and she could feel his grip tightening on her arm as he began to lift her up. She tried to use her weight again but it was of no use. He yanked her forward causing her body to arc through the doorway before she hit the floor on the other side, landing on her hip with a thud. Her purse hit the ground as well, the contents scattering across the floor.

“Don’t you EVER do anything like that again!” Hanzo told her. The door slammed shut, leaving Satya bewildered. She figured Hanzo would get upset and perhaps yell at her but to physically and forcibly remove her was not on her bingo card.

“Are you alright, love?”

Satya turned her head to the voice speaking. It was Lena walking over to her with an outstretched hand. She took the hand offered and stood up.

“I can’t believe he’d do that to you,” Lena told her while rapidly reorganizing Satya’s items into her purse and handing it to her.

“I cannot believe it either,” Satya told the speedster while grabbing her purse. “Thank you,”

“No problem, love,” Lena answered. “Did you want me to go with you to report this?”

Satya blinked a few times. “Report?”

“Yeah! He had no right to toss you out like that,” Lena answered.

“Oh, no, I understand where you’re coming from, but I can’t report this. Not now at least,”

“Well,” Lena said hesitantly. “If you need backup when you do go, don’t forget me,”

“Will do, thank you,”

“Of course! Don’t be afraid to see Angela or Bap about your hip!”

And with that, she was gone. Satya could not help but to sigh as she made her way to the second floor. Her hip did hurt a bit, hopefully Niran was in his room and they could talk. She started a FaceTime call and he answered, thank gods. It did not take him long to see her emotions on her face.

“My shining light, what’s wrong?” Niran asked.

“It’s about Hanzo, are you in your room?” She asked.

“Yes, I am, but bae’s here as well,”

“That’s fine, I am at the door,”

They ended the call and Niran opened the door for her, shirtless… hopefully they didn’t just finish a rut. She’s been in Nirans room after he and Bap had sex before and really didn’t want to smell ass and balls at the moment. She took her shoes off and entered the room, gently shutting the door behind her.

‘Doesn’t smell like sex today,’ she thought to herself.

“What happened?” Niran asked. She let out a sigh and sat in a free chair. Baptiste was on the bed, also shirtless, scrolling on his phone, the two of them waved to each other and said quieter hi’s.

“Hanzo threw me out of his room, literally,” Satya answered, addressing Niran.

“He did what?!” Niran said shocked.

“Grabbed me by my arm, dragged me to the door and then tossed me out like a drunk at the bar,”

The other two just stared at her.

“Because you asked him if he was talking to Illari?” Niran asked. Satya nodded and Bap’s face sprouted confusion.

“Hanzo’s talking talking to Illari?” Baptiste asked, bewildered.

“I believe so and he did not want me, or anyone for that matter to know,” She said.

“How did you find this out?” Baptiste asked.

“He left his phone next to me and she called and messaged him multiple times. There were heart emojis in the messages from her and next to her name,”

Baptiste stared at her, mouth agape.

“And he denied any involvement with her?” Niran asked.

“Yeah,” Satya said. She continued to speak, telling the couple in front of her what happened during her conversation with Hanzo.

“I know you two don’t condone violence but it sounds like he need his ass beat to me,” Baptiste said.

“Agreed, he should have never touched you,” Niran added. “What’s his room number?”

“I do not need you two getting in trouble as well,” She told them. The last thing she wanted was for Niran or Bap to be let go from Overwatch over her.

“He physically picked you up and threw you onto the ground. I don’t care about consequences on my end,” Niran said sternly.

“And I understand, Bua, but I’m going to report this to the proper authorities and they’ll handle it,” Satya told him.

Niran let out a heavy sigh. “Fine, but nothing else better happen,”

“Now that I think about it, why is or was he trying to keep him and Cole a secret? We all knew,” Baptiste said. Satya shrugged. No matter how or when she asked Hanzo about His and Cole’s romance, he denied it. Even though plenty of members had seen them eyeing each other frequently, the two of them always said they were not together. A “rumor” had gotten out about them making out in Cole’s office. As quiet as it’s kept, Winston had accidentally seen the two lip locked and told Lena who told whoever else and so on and so forth.

“Maybe it was just sex for them and they didn’t care to share?” Niran said.

“I asked that too and he said there is nothing between them,” Satya said. The three of them sat in silence each thinking about different possibilities surrounding Illari and Hanzo.

“Oh! I almost forgot that before group training, I was talking to Hanzo in gym and Illari stared at the back of his head for a solid three or four minutes until I looked at her. She left after that,” Satya spoke up.

“That’s odd,” Baptiste said.

“Very odd,” Niran added. “Do you think he could be grooming her?”

“Potentially,” She answered.

“What the fuck…” Baptiste said. “What has he done? I never expected this from him,”

“Me neither,” the other two said.

“Another puzzle piece is Genji said Hanzo wanted to date me after asking him if he thought 40 and 30 were too big of an age gap,” Satya said.

“No,” Baptiste said, the other two nodded.

“I think he tried to soft launch their relationship by asking Genji that question. Genji told him anything under 25 was too young,” Satya said.

“So you suspect he used you as a cover?” Niran asked. She nodded. Baptiste sighed.

“I truly don’t know how to feel about it,” Satya said. “On one hand, I did not have romantic feelings but on the other hand, I was not against having romantic feelings for him,

“Would it be appropriate to say you feel led on or lied too?” Niran asked.

“Yes,” she said. “It feels wrong to feel that way. Genji did nothing wrong and Hanzo never had any intention of being with me, yet…”

“I think it’s okay to be upset about it,” Niran reassured her. She stayed silent as she reflected on the situation more. As much as she tried to keep her sudden romantic sentimentality out of her confrontation with Hanzo, she couldn’t. The budding desire she had for him was snipped by his actions with their coworker. Their eighteen year old coworker that he’s seemingly too embarrassed to be public with. Which then reminded her that she dodged an arrow. Even if Hanzo did want her, he’d probably try to keep their relationship a secret too as he is currently showing a pattern.

The three of them stayed silent and went on to do individual activities. Satya stayed in her head. Processing her emotions required energy that she was running out of especially after dealing with Hanzo. Her energy had not gone to waste as she came to some realizations about herself. Although her emotions were hurt by Hanzo’s lies, they were hurt because she was lonely. Well, maybe not lonely, that sounds a bit pathetic. Satya genuinely wanted a relationship though and one with a friend she at the time trusted and cared for was perfect to her.

“Are you going to the party, lotus flower?” Niran asked, snapping her out of her thought. She looked at him.

“Yes, I am, you know this,” She told him. He chuckled. Why? Satya couldn’t tell you.

“Well it’s almost 6 and the party starts at 8-ish,” he told her.

“8-ish?” She said back to him, mostly for confirmation. The answer was too open ended for her and thankfully he understood that.

“Come at 9 then since that’s probably when everyone else will come,”

“That’s when you’ll be there?”

“Yeah, I’m about to get ready soon,”

“Guess I need to head to my room too then,” Bap chimed in.

“Are you meeting me back here?” Niran asked Baptiste.

“Yup,” Baptiste said while stretching, his muscles flexing.

“I’ll never get tired of seeing that,” Niran said. This got Satya to roll her eyes.

“What? You mean this?” Baptiste said while fake stretching to show his muscles off again. And again, she rolled her eyes this time she stood up and headed for the sort as the two lovebirds began to passionately make out on the bed.

It had been 2 hours since she left Nirans room. In that time she showered, had done her hair and was in the process of finishing her makeup. She had her primer applied and was deciding on an eye shadow theme. Her top was a black halter top that tied around her ribs and waist with dark blue bell bottom jeans and heels. The color choices were endless. Orange and yellow? Too bright. Different shades of green would be pretty but require too much time.

“Forget it I’ll just do a shimmer lid,” she thought to herself while reaching for her eye shadow palette and brush. Once she was satisfied with her appearance, she applied her perfume and headed to the party. The clock had just struck 9 as the elevator doors opened, the music was loud enough to be heard from outside the room.

When she walked in, mostly everyone was already there. They had drinks in hand and groups formed. The older Overwatch members sat at a large round table, laughing about whatever while playing cards. She started to receive and give hellos and waves with everyone as she made her way further into the room. Satya found Niran and Baptiste dancing together a little further back. Baptiste had his back to Niran’s chest while they swayed to the beat.

“You two look nice,” Satya shouted over the music.

“Thank you,” they said back to her.

“Those pants are very nice on you,” Niran told her. “Give me a twirl,”

Doing as told, she gave him a nice 360 of her outfit, even moving her hair and doing a pose or two. She knew she looked good but this was confirmation.

“You wearing jeans was a mistake,” He told her.

“How?” She asked.

“Everyone here is waiting on you to dance,” he answered. What did her wearing jeans have to do with dancing?

“We want you to shake something,” Bap chimed in. Oh… not that Satya was opposed to twerking, it just wasn’t something she did often. Also, there were definitely others here more than willing to put on a show.

“Why would anyone wait on me to twerk? Who said I was twerking?” She asked, a bit amused.

“The Queen requested a front row seat whenever you’re ready,” Niran told her with a large grin. Satya’s face dropped from it’s normal resting spot. Why would Junker Queen want to see her shake anything? Satya assumed the Queen did not care much for her after an incident where Satya was called ‘stuck up’ for not wanting her Junker drink concoction.

“She said she wanted to see your shorts spread apart,” Baptiste said, erupting into laughter with Niran. They had to be messing with her.

“Haha, you two are so funny,” Satya said, rolling her eyes. Niran tapped the bottom of his cup at her signifying that she should get one as well. One drink couldn’t hurt and she definitely needed one after that. Turning away from the couple, she scanned the room with her eyes searching for a cowboy hat. The owner of said hat was usually running a bar setup at their parties. It did not take long as he was seated somewhat between two tables, one table held Angela, Genji and Vivian who were playing some card game and the other had many bottles of liquor, spirits and two coolers of beer. She made her way over to the table and had their attention before she had made it over fully.

Cole whistled, “Satya, Satya,”

She raised an eyebrow.

“You look stunning, Sym!” Angela told her.

“Thank you,”

“Body is tea,” Genji told her. A moment of silence took over the small group as they stared at Genji bewildered. “Y’all don’t get it?”

“We do, it just doesn’t sound right coming from you,” Vivian told him. This elicited laughter from the others except for Genji who playfully pouted.

“What can I get for you, Miss Lady?” Cole asked.

“Uhm, something simple?”

“Vodka sprite?”

“Sure,”

He was fairly fast. Yoinking a red cup into his hand, he quickly grabbed a bottle by the spout, pouring it into her cup most of the way before replacing the bottle in his hand with the pop of choice.

“Be careful now,” Cole told her as he handed her the cup. She took it, hesitantly and thanked him as she made her way back to her small group.

“That’s better,” Niran said causing her to roll her eyes.

“Whatever, Bua,” She said, taking a sip. The beat changed indicating a song change, something slower began to play. Baptiste took one of Niran’s arms and pulled it over his waist so they could sway together. She turned her head a few ways and saw various couples slowly dancing together. A love she silently longed for.

The night continued as planned with laughter occasionally overpowering the music. Everyone had a smile on their face and for a moment things were normal.

__________

The alarm on Satya’s phone began to go off, abruptly waking her from a deep sleep. Her body jumped causing her eyes to pop open however she did not move another muscle. Her body felt overly sluggish and heavy as she tried to move again and stop the agitating alarm. She should not have drunk that cup of jungle juice, her head was reeling as she searched for her phone in the dark. Satya managed to get her phone and blinded herself from the screen acting as a small sun to her poor hungover eyes. The phone continued to violently blare its tune as she fumbled to click the stop button. Once she had done that, she turned her phone brightness down and looked at the time. It was 5:15 am she was supposed be getting out the shower by now. It also explained why the alarm was so loud. Satya laid back down and sighed, her body felt so weak. She mustered her strength and got out of bed. She slowly stumbled to the mini fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and a packet of hydration powder. Her legs gave out and she fell to her knees, her body shaking and breathing ragged. Combining the water and powder,she then promptly chugged the bottle which made her realize she was thirsty too. ‘I am going to kick Niran’s behind when I get back,’ Satya thought to herself. He encouraged her to let loose and drink more than she normally would. Leaning over the mini fridge helped her collect herself as she could feel her body starting to absorb the hydration powder. With new found energy she freshened up and got dressed, somewhat prepared to go. Thankfully all of her stuff was packed and she could just grab her items and go. She was speed walking to the hangar in hopes that she made it in time. Although they could not leave her behind, it did not mean there were no consequences to being late. Thankfully she made it and as reached for the hangar door, it opened.

“Oh, there you are,” Jack said, opening the door for her. “I’ll take that and put it away,”

She looked down at her bag he was referring to. “Oh, you don’t have too,”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” He insisted. Satya handed him her bags and he walked towards Lena who was checking things over with the hover ship. She began to make her way towards the boarding ramp but was stopped.

“Hey, Sym,”

Turning around, it was Sojourn. “Hello, Sojourn,”

This was her chance.

“Glad to see you made it,”

“Yes, nice to see you as well,” Satya said. The two of them stood there for a breath before she continued. “I’m sorry, could I tell you something?”

“Uh, yeah. What was it?”

“Um,” Satya said. This was suddenly very hard. “I am not sure how much you could do, but…”

Sojourn did not looked irritated but she did want her to move along.

“I found out that Hanzo and Illari have been talking or dating each other for a couple of months now,”

Sojourns eyes got wide and her eyebrows raised. “Uh huh,”

“And um, I’m not sure how much you could do about the two of them but I figured I should say something,” even if I look stupid for caring.

“Thank you Satya for that information. Is there anything else I should know?”

“When I confronted Hanzo about dating Illari, he did not take it very well, yelling at me to leave and when I did not move fast enough, he dragged me by my arm and threw me out of his room,”

Sojourn just stared at her before letting out a chuckle. “Oh Hanzo,” she chuckled again. Now, Satya was a bit confused. “Are you alright though?”

“Yes, I am,”

“Again, Sym thank you,” Sojourn told her before walking off. Satya took her seat next to Baptiste who had dozed off. He too had been encouraged by Niran to let go last night. Mei and Zarya had chosen to cuddle next to each other holding hands. Mei was rubbing her thumb over the back of Zarya's hand, soft whispers between the two about last night's party.

Satya sighed inwardly and laid her head back, hopefully she made the right decision on telling Sojourn what she knew. Even though Sojourn seemed receptive to the information, Satya could not help but feel doubt. Maybe Hanzo was right, no one cared but her.