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The last thing Eddie remembers before a shock sent him away from the ladder was joking with Buck, his world froze for a moment, the stinging in his hands made them sting too much, stunned by the sudden shock Eddie picked himself up off the ground focusing on what was going on around him, until he looked up at the ladder and Eddie could swear his heart had stopped for a moment, there hanging on the ladder with only the harness holding him and with no sign of being conscious was Buck.
He rushed up the truck and up the stairs, trying to get to Buck as quickly as possible, the tears in his eyes mingling with the raindrops that kept falling, as Eddie tried to pull Buck's body to himself, with his hands burning inside his gloves, Eddie only had the option of lowering Buck down and relying on the rest of the team to keep him safe. By the time he reached the other side of the truck to where Chim and Hen were tending to Buck, Eddie's heart was torn between wanting to leave his body and stopping beating as soon as he saw Chim begin compressions to get Buck back to a pulse.
He didn't know how he got it, maybe his body acting on automatic, but by the time Bobby sent him behind the wheel Eddie was sure he'd broken more than one speed rule trying to get to the hospital, his eyes focusing on the road, but his ears filled only with the sound of Chim struggling to bring Buck back with them, the clock on the screen beside him glowing counting down the seconds since Buck's heart stopped beating.
As soon as they arrived at the hospital Eddie ran down from the truck, moving Chim out of the way to continue compressions he on Buck's chest, and the moment Eddie felt a rib break was the same moment Buck's heart started beating again, and for the first time only thirty minutes Eddie could breathe normally again, his heart seemed to connect with Buck's and start beating at the same intensity.
Of course, he had to watch the stretcher with his unconscious boyfriend go through the doors that they were not authorized to cross in their job, but this time they were about to cross because they were not there as firefighters but as family members. Eddie reached out to Bobby, seeking support from the man he considered a father, then reached out to his best friends, pulling Chim to him, not wanting to think about what Chim might have felt those minutes of traveling to the hospital trying to bring Buck back with them, he squeezed the man's shoulder tighter, hugging his friend sideways as tears flooded his eyes again.
Bobby was the first to pull away from the embrace.
"I need to call headquarters to pick up the equipment, you... you should call the family, I'll send someone to your house, Chim, Maddie needs to come now.
Everyone nodded, separating and going straight to different seats, Eddie was the only one left standing near the glass doors where his boyfriend had been taken through minutes before. Taking a deep sigh Eddie reached under his uniform until he found his phone and dialed Carla's number, bringing the phone to his ear he waited until the woman answered cheerfully, the TV could be heard in the background with some picture his son must be watching.
"Hey, Eddie, is everything all right?"
If there was one thing in the world Eddie couldn't do it was know how to lie to Carla or Athena, those women knew him too well to be fooled, so Eddie got straight to the point, hoping it would make things easier for Carla to assimilate.
"There was an accident at work, I don't know... I don't know if Buck is going to be alright. Can you stay home tonight? I'll come in early tomorrow and…"
"Hey, hey Eddie, it's okay, I'll stay with him until tomorrow, stay calm, can you tell me anything else," Carla was whispering and the noise of the television had become distant so Eddie assumed she was now in Eddie's room. How are you?"
"I... I guess well, I was near him when it happened... "Eddie stalled, his memory bringing back the image of the bright light the second Eddie was pushed away from the ladder... "I'm worried, he doesn't seem well Carla, I don't think... "I don't think…"
"Hey, now Eddie, it's going to be alright. Look, you need to change so I'll ask my husband to stop by and bring you a change of clothes, and early tomorrow morning I'll be sure to bring you something to eat when I take Chris to school. Everything will be fine, I promise, after all this is Buck we are talking about, he is a fighter. He'll come back to us."
Eddie nodded, saying goodbye to Carla because he didn't feel like talking and he didn't want to get on the phone with Chris either, his son was too smart and he was going to figure out very quickly that something was wrong. Eddie walked over to where Chim was, the man seemed distant and not like himself, Eddie could see that his hands were shaking where he was clasping them between his thighs to calm the trembling in his body so he did the first thing that crossed his mind, although he didn't know if it was to give Chim comfort or himself, he reached out and took one of Chim's hands, interlacing their fingers, he was rewarded with his friend's hand squeezing his tightly and Chim's body shaking as he openly wept.
Eddie leaned back, shedding his own tears as he waited for a nurse to give them the medical report.
At that moment, Eddie knew he was going to hate cloudy rainy days forever.
****
It had been almost a week now, and Eddie kept crying in every corner, he could barely see Buck hurting, it was killing him inside to look at him on that gurney hooked up to so many tubes, even after Chris visited him and said all those words to Buck, he hadn't woken up.
It was almost midnight when Eddie fixed his gaze on the small hospital church, where many people sat praying silently for their loved ones and where Eddie had seen Bobby go just a few minutes earlier.
But he didn't want to walk through that door, Eddie had walked through it once years before, when he prayed for his wife, when he asked whatever God would listen to him and not let her go, but nothing had worked because Shannon hadn't made it and Eddie had that if he prayed for Buck, he wouldn't come back either.
So he took the long way around, driving to the accident site and sitting on the sidewalk looking at the fixed point where his boyfriend had been hanging with his lifeless body days before, there were no longer many tears to shed but Eddie continued to cry as he tilted his head up and watched the moon shine alone in the night sky.
Then he pray.
But not to the God everyone prayed to, Eddie prayed to the moon.
"Please... I need you to bring him back, wherever he is, I need him... we need him, all of us...".
The moon shone brightly, lonely in the darkness.
"You know, they have taken so much from me, and now I have found peace, I have found happiness with my son and my soul mate. And it looks like Buck is right, the universe may speak, because the universe doesn't seem to like me being happy and is letting me know it again... But I don't want him to leave, not now, not like this..."
Eddie looked at his hands, the lichtenberg figures left by the lightning bolt still looked a dark violet that only reminded him of what Buck's chest looked like with the very similar figure of his hands running across from his nape to his navel.
He clasped his hands tightly around the St. Christopher medal that always calmed him, but had not been working for days.
"And Chris, we've finally been able to move forward with his therapy, his mom, the tsunami, the shooting, he's really doing well now, but how am I supposed to come home one of these days and tell him that Buck's not coming back? How?"
Eddie moved to sit at the foot of a tree, silently gazing at the moon.
"How are we supposed to move on after losing him...? Please, if the universe is screaming, make it stop, and bring me back to my soul mate, I know you can hear me... He's all I have left right now, he's my anchor for my bad days and the days where I can't be myself, and he's a second father to Chris. Don't take him away. Don't let them take him away."
The itching in his eyes would not stop and Eddie was beginning to fall asleep there in that spot, in front of the area where a few days earlier his other half had lost his life for three minutes and seventeen seconds.
"There are few things in this world that belong to me, and Buck is one of them, so please don't take him away from me again...you can take anything, but not the only people that belong to me in this world, Chris and Buck are everything to me, don't make me feel empty one more time."
So Eddie fell asleep, with the moon shining down on him and his hands tingling again, something that hadn't stopped since the day of the accident.
****
The distant sound of a cell phone ringing woke Eddie, startling him where he lay curled up next to the tree where he had fallen asleep, Eddie rushed to grab his cell phone, which had Bobby's name on the screen.
"Bobby! What happened? Is he all right?"
"Eddie, he's awake! Buck is awake, you have to hurry and come."
Bobby wasn't halfway through his words when Eddie was already inside the car and starting the engine.
"I'm on my way Bobby, what did the doctors say?"
"He is stable, he has to stay a few days to make sure he won't have a relapse but they say he is fine."
Bobby's voice was full of relief, the same relief Eddie was feeling at that very moment as he hurried to the hospital.
Well, he was breaking other traffic laws but it definitely took him the same record time to get to the hospital as the day he was driving the ambulance.
Eddie hurried up the stairs to Buck's room as soon as he entered the hospital, stopping only a moment a few feet from the stairs in Buck's hallway to recharge his breath and calm the nerves in his body. Not everyone was there, Eddie guessed that most had gone home early as Bobby and Athena were left to care for Buck along with Eddie, so it was just the three of them and Maddie, who also seemed to have arrived at the same time as Eddie.
She was the first to notice Eddie was there, running the few steps that separated them and hugging him, Eddie held her tightly, resting his head on Maddie's shoulder as he let out the air he didn't know he was holding, after a moment she broke away and pointed his head towards Buck's room.
"Go see him, he is waiting for you."
Deep down Eddie felt selfish for being the first to cross into that room and not Maddie, but the need to see Buck awake was stronger than any guilt he felt.
Eddie went into the room, Buck looked too tired even after being unconscious for days, Eddie could understand that tired feeling, he was the worst after being hospitalized.
Tears began to fall from Eddie's eyes as he reached up to Buck and caressed his face, leaning down and leaving a kiss on Buck's birthmark.
"Hey, you're back."
Buck let out a choked laugh, gripping Eddie's hand tightly which was caressing Buck's face, his eyes filled with tears as he watched Eddie, in a very similar image to himself. Buck shifted so that Eddie was able to lie down on the bed carefully next to him, burrowing his face into Buck's neck.
"Hey, I came back. I couldn't leave you alone again, you know? She gave us one more chance."
"What are you talking about, Buck? "
Buck shifted, still holding Eddie's hand between his own, and took off his robe a little so that his dark lichtenberg marks were visible, compatible with the same marks on Eddie's hands. Buck found himself whispering in the space between them, as if what he had to say was a secret between them.
"She said the gift came with this price tag, a reminder, a reminder that the universe can only scream at us if we let it do so. You've screamed louder, fought for you harder than the universe fought to tear you apart. That's what she told me before she sent me back." Buck fell on Eddie, hugging his boyfriend tightly as more tears spilled between them." We made it. I love you so much Eddie, fight for us, to come home."
"And here you are, Buck, you made it, you got out of there, I love you so much, I missed you so much. And I'm not going to let you take the same risk in the near future, these days have been hell without you here.
Buck chuckled, kissing Eddie softly, entwining their bodies further as much as was appropriate for where they were, they broke apart with shaky breaths.
They both began to laugh through their tears, giving each other little kisses all over their faces while their hands kept caressing the other's face, exhaustion taking over both of them at the same time, leaving them practically intertwined on the hospital bed without a hint of wanting to let go.
Eddie's hands had stopped tingling a while before, but now Buck's hands itched, the phantom sensation coursing through both their bodies as new marks took hold of the other's chest and hands, sharing the same marks that would forever remain etched as proof of the new opportunity the moon had given them.
And Eddie couldn't be more than happy to have shouted at the universe to shut its mouth and stop messing with them.
What if Eddie was in eternal debt to the moon for bringing his beloved back to him? Well, it was a debt he was willing to pay for the rest of his life.