Archive of Our Own

Cassandra Mercer was not what you may expect, given her family.

Where her father and brother were blunt instruments, she was refined, honed to a razor sharp edge. Trained by her mother from a young age, Cassandra grew to be much like a rose- beautiful and sought after, but with sharp thorns that deterred any who tried to take her.

She was not naive or innocent enough to not notice the effect her beauty had on the people around her.

Cassandra knew full well how gorgeous she was, and she utilized it to full effect. It appeared to her that there were none who were utterly unaffected by how she looked, save those high-rankers who were even more flawless than her.

And then she met Jason Asano.

She had been asked by her mother to investigate him, to figure out where he was from and if he posed a threat to their family, especially after the altercation with Thadwick.

And yet somehow Asano turned the tables on her, and she found herself leaving with more questions than she had come with.

“When is vulnerability a strength?”

Over the next several months, she could not help but grow closer to him.

Their friendship deepened, and she eventually found herself falling in his bed.

For a time, things were amazing. Jason was the most considerate lover she had ever had, and the family was placated by his 3-star status.

And then came the disastrous expedition to the astral space, and the ensuing audit by the main body of the Adventure Society.

Jason lost two stars, relegated to the lowest status one could have as an Adventurer. The elders of the family, all of whom had been waiting for a chance to attack her relationship with Jason, pounced on the opportunity and demanded that she not see him anymore.

Despite the best efforts of her and her mother, Cassandra was forced to leave Jason.

It tore at her heart as much as it clearly broke his, but there was nothing she could do. She could no longer associate with him, either in public or private. All she could do was watch with pride as he went on to compete in what became known as the Reaper Trials and win, beating all the other, more favored, teams from around the world.

Jason was a rising star, ascendant to the highest-

He died.

….

No, no that doesn’t make sense. Jason couldn’t be dead.

….

He sacrificed himself to save his team, to save their world.

….

He would die for that. That’s the sort of stupid thing he would do.

….

The people celebrate him, say they’ll honor his memory and sacrifice.

If it were up to her, they could all burn if it would return Jason to her.

From what little she saw of his former indenture, Sophie Wexler, the Celestine felt much the same.

….

But Jason wouldn’t want that. His sacrifice was to save the world. And all she can do to honor him is to try to live life as he would have wanted her to, to move on and attempt to make sure his sacrifice wasn’t in vain.

….

Cassandra still wakes up some nights reaching for him, wishing he was in bed beside her.

The pain wouldn’t be gone overnight. It’d likely never truly leave. But eventually it would dull, and she wouldn’t feel like her heart’s being torn out every time she remembers him.

The first time Sophie Wexler met Jason Asano, it was just in passing at Jory’s clinic.

He gave her a healing paste for no reason other than she needed it. And waved off any attempt to repay him.

She kept hearing about him from Joey and Belinda, how he would simply come in and heal for nothing.

Truthfully, it made her suspicious, made her wonder what he wanted from them. But whatever Asano had planned wasn’t affecting them now, so she put it out of her mind.

And then he was offering her a life beyond anything she could have dreamed of.

“Life isn’t for surviving, Wexler. Life is for living.”

Sophie couldn’t figure out what he wanted, but there were no better alternatives. Asano had her at his mercy, trapped in an indenture contract in the name of freeing her from men like Lucian Lamprey or Cole Silva. He could do with her as he pleased.

And yet he didn’t. Sophie knew her beauty, knew he saw it too. Yet he restrained himself, went out of his way to make her comfortable and set her on the path to a life she couldn’t have even dreamed of before.

Over time, she saw more evidence that he truly was not trying to manipulate her somehow.

Jason bought her Awakening Stones tailored to give her a power set uniquely suited for fighting him, so she could stop him if he ever tried to do something against her will. He never used the indenture contract against her, save in jokes, and even then it was lightly.

It was after he nearly died fighting the Silver rank elemental that she realized how her feelings for him had changed.

What had first been hostility slowly shifted into tolerance, then into friendship, into attraction, and then into love.

But not love she was sure he reciprocated. He flirted with her, but he also flirted with nearly anyone who spent enough time around him.

Sophie wanted to confess her feelings towards him, but there never seemed to be a good time. First they were trying to find Jason after the idiot got himself kidnapped, then they were fighting off hordes of monsters in the astral space of the Order of the Reaper, then fighting Builder Cultists-

And then she would never get a chance.

Jason died.

He died, and there was no way to bring him back.

….

Platitudes about grief from politicians and empty promises to “honor his memory” turned the cold tide of grief into a roaring fire of rage.

She would raze this whole city if it would bring him back.

….

But it wouldn’t bring him back. And he wouldn’t want her to do that.

….

Sophie may not have known Jason as long as the others in their team- even Neil had known him longer, even if only peripherally through Jason and Thadwick’s altercations- but that didn’t diminish their bond, their friendship.

(Friendship because that is all it would ever be, there was no chance at all he may have returned her feelings now, not when he was dead and she hadn’t been able to get to him to help fast enough)

….

And so she raised a glass of top-end wine at his memorial, looking at the ridiculous statue they had put up of him. (Jason would have fallen over laughing if he saw it)

She drained the glass then went to get another, determined to waste as much of the expensive booze provided by the Duke as possible.

It was what Jason likely would have done, anyway.

She would remember him and do her best to honor his memory, even if she may not later remember this night.

She would do her best to remember and honor the goodness that Jason had shown her existed in this world, the goodness that had been what saved her and earned her love.

“To love is to bare your soul, the deepest parts of yourself. And sometimes you get sucker punched while your defenses are down. But that’s just part of love. Love and loss are simply two sides of the same coin.”