Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

No POV:

Ponyboy was depressed. Sodapop knew that, Darry knew that, Two-Bit knew that, even Steve knew that! Everyone knows that Ponyboy Curtis is depressed. But they can’t blame him. Who would? But today was specifically worse than the others, for it was the anniversary of Dally’s and Johnny’s death.

Ponyboy still went to school and carried on his day with determination. He didn’t want to let anyone know he was still struggling. Of course, everyone already knew. But he didn’t know that.

His school day was boring to say the least. And when he got home he went straight to his and Sodapop’s room to do homework or maybe cry. Probably both.

Ponyboy sniffled and wiped away his tears as he tried to focus on his pencil on the page, he could barely even think about what he was doing. Maybe he was writing an essay for english? Maybe he was doing math? He doesn’t know. Or really care. All he cared about right now was Johnny and Dally as they plagued his mind.

Memories of good times with them, and bad times. Like how it was all his fault they died. If he only fought back and didn’t get jumped. Or maybe if he never fell asleep and accidentally stayed out late. Or if he didn’t yell at Darry. Maybe if he didn’t run away. If he never insulted that stupid Soc. If he was just stronger.

Ponyboy didn’t know how long he stayed sitting there crying, he just knew it had been awhile since it was now dark outside. He was slightly surprised Sodapop hasn't come in yet. But he just assumed Sodapop heard him crying and decided not to come in.

Ponyboy moved his homework aside so as to not get any(more) tears on them and laid his head down on the desk. He tried taking in deep breaths, it wouldn't be any use to have a panic attack over this and bother Sodapop about it. Realistically he knew he wasn’t the only one who was struggling after Johnny and Dally’s death. But he just couldn't make it go away for some reason that it was all his fault.

He sobbed into his crossed arms on the desk, his shoulders shaking. He felt a hand on his shoulder and assumed it was Sodapop. Ponyboy sniffled, “Sorry, Soda…I’m just..Not feeling good.” That was putting it lightly. Ponyboy felt awful. He was genuinely wondering if there was a way he could get sadder. But he knew that there was always a way for life to fuck him over. Sodapop or Darry could die, maybe both. Two-Bit or Steve could die.

Now he was sobbing more as he thought about all the ways life could screw him again. Fucking pathetic, Ponyboy thought. The hand on his shoulder squeezed it and Ponyboy sighed.

Ponyboy finally looked back at Sodapop, only it wasn’t him. It was Johnny. Ponyboy’s mouth hangs open in shock as he stares blankly at Johnny. He even saw Dally peering over Johnny’s shoulder. Ponyboy feels a fresh wave of tears sting his eyes as he shakes his head. “I’m hallucinating. Oh god, I really am fucked up.” Ponyboy said, tears falling down his face once more.

Johnny shook his head with a sad smile. Fuck, Ponyboy missed that smile. Ponyboy sets his hand on top of Johnny’s and gulps when he can feel it. As if it was actually there. Ponyboy was depressed, not crazy. Or was he? He didn’t even know anymore if he was crazy or not. He was almost sure he was hallucinating. Almost. But the hand on his shoulder felt too real.

“You picked a really shitty day to come back from the dead. If you're even actually here.” Ponyboy said as he bit his lip. He now completely forgot about his homework as he leaps up and hugs Johnny. (You probably forgot about the homework too, be honest.)

Johnny was solid. He was there. Ponyboy didn’t even start thinking about how he and Dally were there, he was just glad they were alive. Well. mostly alive. They were still see-through even if they felt solid. Johnny wrapped his arms around Ponyboy and Dally set a hand on Ponyboy’s shoulder.

“How…” Ponyboy mumbled into Johnny's shoulder, his voice shaky. Johnny hummed in confusion and slightly pulled back but kept his arms on Ponyboy’s torso. “How are you both here? What happened? And why today?” Ponyboy clarified, looking into Johnny’s eyes.

“Well, god gave us another chance to be here, even if we’re not fully here as we can’t die again and we’re see-through. I’m not sure what exactly you want me to tell you about what happened. And I think it was because you can only come back on the anniversary of your death?” Johnny answered. His answers made sense to Ponyboy so he nodded. Ponyboy glances at Dally and is glad that they don’t show any signs of they’re death. Because Ponyboy is still plagued with nightmares of they’re bodies. Ponyboy shudders at the thought.

“So, can everybody see ya? Or am I just the unlucky soul, because I'm still not 100% sure I'm not hallucinating to be honest.” Ponyboy said with his usual awkward grin. Johnny lightly chuckles while Dally snickers. Dally was probably laughing at the thought of Ponyboy suffering. At least, that's what Ponyboy thought he was laughing at.

Ponyboy sighs and begrudgingly lets go of Johnny. He had a lot of emotions and he needed some rest. He just went through all five stages of grief, so he definitely needed either a nap or to just go to bed early. Ponyboy laid down on his bed and stared at Johnny and Dally. He still wasn't sure this wasn’t all a dream or hallucination. He read somewhere people can have hallucinations when someone close to them passes away. Either way he falls asleep and prays that when he wakes up Johnny and Dally are both still there.

While Ponyboy is asleep:

“So, uh, he didn’t finish his homework.” Dally says as he picks up the piece of paper and tries to read what Ponyboy was even trying to write. Looked to be some sort of essay about ladybugs? Dally was slightly confused as to why ladybugs of all things, but he just put the paper back down.

“Do you think we should do it for him? Just so Darry isn’t too hard on him, y’know?” Johnny asks. Though, he had no idea what Ponyboy was even supposed to do for the essay. He didn’t even know if Ponyboy was doing the right thing or messed up on listening to instructions. Which Ponyboy is usually on top of doing those things. But as of what day it is, Johnny had some doubts.

Dally shrugs and glances at Ponyboy’s other unfinished homework. Seems to be some math. Dally was sure Two-Bit would enjoy doing that for Ponyboy, as that was literally one of the only reasons he still went to school.

“Nah, let him suffer. I’m sure Darry will be more light on him considering the day.” Dally mentioned. Johnny nods his head in agreement and looked over to Ponyboy's sleeping form. He sighed and leaned on the wall. Dally grinned and leaned onto the wall next to him, facing his body towards him. Johnny only rolled his eyes with a smile as dally kissed his cheek.

Chapter Text

Ponyboy POV:

I wake up earlier than usual, probably because I went to bed late. Sodapop’s side of the bed is empty and cold. He must’ve not slept here tonight. Weird. He usually does as he knows about my nightmares and that it’s worse closer to the anniversary of Dally and Johnny's death.

Speaking of them, I can hear them softly talking in the room. Something about Bob Sheldon. Why him of all people? Who cares. I get up with a groan and rub the sleep out of my eyes. Now Johnny and Dally are looking at me.

Johnny smiles and I feel tears stinging my eyes once more. Because god I missed that smile. I almost want to leap up and hug him forever, but I know that I have to go to school today for a test. Ah shit. I didn’t finish my homework yesterday. At least I woke up early enough that I can do the math. Maybe I can even finish it! Luckily, the essay isn’t due till next week.

I take a deep breath and get up, sitting at my desk and grabbing the math homework. Dally peers over my shoulder for a second before nodding his head and talking to Johnny again about some random shit. Who the hell is Daniel? Sounds like Dally respects the guy though, so probably not a Soc.

No POV:

Ponyboy spent the next part of a good hour doing math homework. At times Dally or Johnny would peer over his shoulder to see what he was on. But the mostly were making jokes and whispering about things Ponyboy wasn’t even trying to hear for once. All he was focused on was finishing the math homework, as it was the only thing that needed to be turned in today. (Lucky bitch.)

Maybe the teachers decided to be nice to him for that week because everyone knew what week it was. He knew Curly was walking with him in the hallways more and even tried to stay out of trouble for the whole week! Ponyboy thinks he never saw Curly that well behaved, except when Ponyboy yells at him from time to time and he immediately goes rigid and becomes docile for a few days. He remembers Tim and Dally laughing their asses off when Ponyboy mentioned something about it the first time it happened.

Ponyboy smiles at the memory as tears gather in his eyes, he was so glad Johnny and Dally were back. He never thought he would see them again. Ponyboy took a deep breath and rubbed the tears in his eyes away. He had cried enough that week. And plus, they were here now, so no point in crying. Right? (Cry if you need to guys, I can almost never cry anymore and I feel fucking awful about it.)

Ponyboy sighed once he finished his math work and leaned back in his chair. “Man, are you done yet?” Dally asked as he peered over Ponyboy’s shoulder again. Ponyboy glanced at Dally and nodded his head with a smile. “Good, because I was getting bored.” Dally said as he dragged Ponyboy out of his seat by the wrist.

Ponyboy rolled his eyes, “Well, I have school today. And a test no less, so I’m sure you are free to go and do stuff while I’m at school.” Dally’s eyes lit up when Ponyboy mentioned he had a test. Ponyboy had a sick feeling he was in for a rough and long day. Johnny chuckled in an evil way when he saw Dally’s eyes light up. Ponyboy sighed again and closed his eyes to mentally prepare for the hell of a day this was gonna be.

“Whatever, I need to get dressed for school and have a shower. So shoo.” Ponyboy said as he pushed Dally out of the room, Johnny followed along behind them. Ponyboy grabbed some clothes out of his and Sodapop’s closet and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Once he got out he met Dally and Johnny in the kitchen. He started making breakfast for himself, Sodapop, and Darry as he didn’t think Johnny or Dally could eat. “Can you guys eat?” Ponyboy asked right before he stopped cooking just in case. Johnny shook his head with a slightly sad smile. Ponyboy hummed and turned off the stove and set the plates of pancakes on the table as Darry comes down.

Darry looks surprised to see Ponyboy up so early, and even cooking. He probably didn’t expect Ponyboy to be feeling good enough to do either of those things given what day it was yesterday. Ponyboy smiled, “Morning Dar, I made pancakes.” Darry blinked at Ponyboy in slight confusion. Ponyboy sat down and started to eat the pancakes he made as Darry comes back from his confusion and hesitantly sits down next to Ponyyboy.

Darry slowly ate his pancakes and he glanced at Ponyboy often. Most likely to see if Ponyboy had anything that made it seem like he was not okay. (I don’t know, man.)

Eventually he figured Ponyboy was doing alright and just continued eating the pancakes. Ponyboy looked around the room, “Where’s Soda?” Darry doesn't look up from his food as he replies, “At Steve’s house.” That makes more sense as to why he never came into our room last night, Ponyboy thought.

Ponyboy hums and grabs Sodapop’s plate and sets it in the fridge, then he grabs his own plate and starts to wash it in the sink. Darry was looking at Ponyboy intently just to see if there was anything that proved Ponyboy was acting okay. He was confused as to how Ponyboy seemed to be functioning and almost not sad? He was even washing the dishes!

Darry always made sure to take it easy on him around this time, but he never made Ponyboy be free to do anything as he didn’t want Ponyboy to think he was trying to treat him differently just because his friends died. Darry never wanted Ponyboy to think he was only showing pity on him.

Ponyboy was grateful for what Darry did most of the time, especially when he had bad days. He knew his teachers did the same thing. Even if he had a test today.

Once Darry was done with his pancakes he gives the plate to Ponyboy, who happily washed it. Ponyboy was having a good day. Darry doesn’t think he's ever been more confused about Ponyboy ever. (That is really saying something.)

Johnny and Dally come into the kitchen and Ponyboy glances at them. Darry also looks that way but gets even more confused as he doesn’t see anything over there. “What cha’ lookin’ at Pone?” Darry asks. Ponyboy looks back at Darry in confusion before realizing only he can see the two. Ponyboy shakes his head with a faint smile and says, “Nothing, I just thought I heard something.” Darry nods his head and goes up to his room to do whatever he does.

“When were y'all gonna tell me only I can see you guys?” Ponyboy asks as he dries off his hands.

Dally grins, “We wanted to see how long it was going to take you to notice.” Johnny nods his head in agreement. Ponyboy rolls his eyes and grabs his backpack. Making sure he has everything for school, he heads out the door and starts the trek to school.

Once he gets there he immediately goes to his classroom as the bell was almost about to ring. Lucky him that the test was in his first class of the day. He was a bit surprised when he didn’t see Curly at all in the hallway running up to him or something. He was used to having Curly with him most of the time while at school now.

His teacher gives him a soft smile when she hands him the test paper, he gives her a smile back and her eyebrows furrow slightly in confusion. But she just continues on giving the other students they’re tests.

During the entire test Dally and Johnny were annoying him, mostly Dally though. They would peer over his shoulder and make comments about random things on the test. And they would make weird gestures in front of certain students if they were doing something wrong. They even once flicked water on his teacher! Ponyboy was having a hard time focusing and not laughing, so he was one of the last people to finish.

At least the test was in science. Ponyboy might’ve not finished the test at all if it was math. Math was one of the hardest subjects for Ponyboy, but Two-Bit often helped him with it as he loved math. Ponyboy is 87% sure Two-Bit is the only reason he is passing math right now.

Ponyboy had another class before lunch, and they barely acted differently. His teacher would sometimes look at him weirdly if he caught Ponyboy glaring at a random direction with no one in it. Ponyboy would just awkwardly smile and look away when he realized his teacher caught him.

Ponyboy only once didn’t snap out of his gaze, and it was when he saw Dally and Johnny kissing. He honestly did not expect them to actually get together. The teacher waved a hand in front of Ponyboy’s face and he blushed in embarrassment as he quickly looked up at him.

He saw Dally and Johnny both snickering out of the corner of his eye and he gave them a subtle finger under the table so no one else would see it. Heaven forbid what would happen if he accidentally flipped off the wrong person.

After his last class before lunch he headed to the library instead of the cafeteria. Johnny and Dally of course followed him there as they wished to make his life a living hell more than it already is. “Why aren't you going to eat lunch?” Johnny asked. Ponyboy glanced up at him from where he was seated on the floor with a book in his hand.

“...’M not hungry.” Ponyboy said in response as he looked down at his book once more. Johnny frowned and Dally sat next to Ponyboy.

“Kid, all you've eaten this week was the pancakes you made today, go get something to eat.” Dally said in a serious tone. Ponyboy even thought he heard a bit of worry in it. Ponyboy shrugs and just keeps looking at his book. Dally sighs and looks up at Johnny.

Johnny nodded his head and took the book out of Ponyboy's hands and set it back on the shelf, while Dally grabbed Ponyboy’s arm and dragged him off the floor and onto his feet. Ponyboy looked at them in a confused manner and tried to get dally’s hand off his arm. “What is your deal, dude?” Ponyboy said in a somewhat defensive tone.

Dally rolls his eyes and answers, “I’m taking you to the cafeteria so you eat lunch.”

“Won't it be weird to see me being dragged by an invisible force?” Ponyboy said after a small pause. That made Dally stop and think about it for a second. But they were saved when Curly walked in and wrapped one of his arms around Ponyboy’s shoulders.

“C’mon baby Curtis, I haven't seen you in the cafeteria all week. And I got some juicy stuff to tell ya.” Curly said as he started walking out of the library and to the cafeteria, dragging Ponyboy along with his arm still wrapped around Ponyboy’s shoulder. Johnny and Dally followed along because they wanted to make sure Ponyboy ate something.

Ponyboy was currently thinking how Johnny and Dally knew he hadn't eaten at all that week. Were they watching him? He then started thinking about how long they were watching him if that was true, did they know everything? Have they been watching him since they died? Was it only him that they watched?

Eventually, Ponyboy let it go for now as he and Curly finally entered the cafeteria. Curly led him to a lunch table after they got their food and they both sat down. They were just talking about random things, mostly gossip about Tim though. Dally looked slightly regretful at the mention of Tim. So Dally and Johnny went away for a bit and Ponyboy guessed they were talking about other things.

He saw them again after school was over, as they were waiting near the entrance/exit. Curly was walking with him and even asked if he needed a ride home. Ponyboy shook his head with a smile and waved at both Tim and Curly as he started walking home.

Chapter Text

Once Ponyboy got home, he headed straight for his and Sodapop’s bedroom. He had some homework to finish. And he wasn’t going to let anything get in his way for once! Ponyboy Curtis was going to be responsible and finish his homework before Darry gets home.

Ponyboy didn’t even know how he ended up on the floor of his and Sodapop’s bedroom with Monopoly laid out in front of him. All he knew was Johnny was very convincing, especially with Dally with him.

Ponyboy eyed the game, mostly wondering what would happen if someone caught him playing Monopoly seemingly alone. Let alone the fact Monopoly was banned from the house because of Dally! At least it’s less likely Dally can break another mirror as a ghost, Ponyboy thought.

Ponyboy POV:

Wasn’t I supposed to be doing homework? Screw it. I just got two of my best friends back, I think Darry would understand if he knew. Then again, Darry doesn’t know. So that puts me in a rough spot. No need to make everyone believe I’m insane and seeing things. Technically I am seeing things others aren’t, cause from what I know no one else sees Dally or Johnny.

I’m pulled away from my thoughts as Dally shakes me, “Dude, it’s your turn!”

I nod my head and try to swat away Dally’s hands, only for my hands to go through him. I guess they can only touch things when they want to… I can’t determine if that’s a good thing or not to be honest. (Me neither, man, me neither.)

I look down at the board and see it is indeed my turn. I mumble an apology and do my turn. (Guys, I’ve never played Monopoly, help-)

“Head still in the cloud as usual, huh Ponyboy?” Dally asks with a smug smirk on his face. I roll my eyes with a fond smile.

We continue playing until I hear the front door open. Oh shit. I don’t know whether or not I would prefer Soda or Darry in this case. Because Soda would come up and check on me, but Darry wouldn’t. But Darry would also probably call me down soon enough to ask about my day and homework or something like that.

Dally and Johnny share a look before helping me clean up. Although they didn’t look too happy with doing so, I’m glad they did. “This ain't over, we continue where we left off tomorrow.” Dally said in a tone that I hear him often in. I was winning, so maybe he’s just being a sore loser.

I raise an eyebrow and shake his head with a nod. Johnny chuckles and rolls his eyes at us, having been the least competitive during the whole game. That may just be because he beat our ass the last time the three of us played together.

I sat at the desk and continued my homework from where I left off, which honestly wasn’t much. Johnny and Dally are handfuls. I didn’t think I would become a babysitter to my two dead friends, but life is weird.

“How about you two go out ‘n prank some Soc’s? Do some ghost stuff or somethin’.” I said without looking up from my homework. I could hear them snicker at each other as they made some plans and walked out. They went through the door. Showoffs.

A few hours later, I went to the kitchen as I smelt some of the best food ever. Darry must be cooking something nice today.

I sat down at the dining table and waited for Darry to finish cooking, everyone eventually sat next to me. I could feel them steal some glances at me while we waited. They were obviously concerned or confused about my behavior.

I try not to let them know I noticed the looks, not really wanting to be asked about anything yet. Even if they are back it’s still hard to think or talk about. Just the way Dally broke down as Johnny died right in front of us, the look of Dally’s body on the concrete floor as blood seeped from his gunshot wounds.

The sounds of so many sirens rang through my head. At the church, at the hospital, the cop cars that belonged to the cops that shot Dally.

I shake my head and sigh. I really don’t want to think about that too much and ruin my mood before dinner. Soda looks at me when I shake my head, probably wondering why the sudden movement.

Darry eventually says dinner is ready, and soon enough we’re eating. The food was as good as it smelled.

Two-Bit was talking about some ghost stories for some reason. Apparently he’s been in a haunted house before, like an actual haunted house. Steve doesn’t look like he believes him. Darry and Soda look more neutral about it, though Soda seems to believe it more.

Two-Bit turns to me, “Do you think ghosts are real, Pony?” Well yes, obviously. But I can’t say that. Because then they will ask questions that I don’t wanna answer right now.

“Uh, sure?” I say. Two-Bit nods his head and goes off again about some ghost stories.

“-one of the ghosts actually looked like Johnny, ain’t that weird?” That was the sentence that caught my attention.

I looked up at him, “What?”