Work Text:
Mrraw: hey guys its me Mrraw and yes this counts as a fanfic
HoD Puppet: bruh
Wanderer: why
Sparkle: no seriously you need to stop writing these
Mrraw: but people like them
Wanderer: no they don’t
Mrraw: proof?
HoD Puppet: uploaded 2 attachments
(There was an image in the original work)
Mrraw: nah its clearly photoshopped bro
Sparkle: uploaded 1 attachment
(There was another image in the original work)
Mrraw: nah this is unfair why do you guys have my internet history
Wanderer: so you admit it
Mrraw: no
HoD puppet: wait the title says 4 puppets and a puppet abuser, where’s the 4th puppet
Mrraw: can I not identify as one
Sparkle: if you are one I will quit being one
Mrraw: okay okay I’m joking wait she’s connecting
Raiden: hi
Wanderer: why my sis
Sparkle: omg hi an Emanator my name is Sampo
HoD puppet: bruh I hate it when this happens
HoD puppet: yo sis could you smack me real quick
Seele: no don’t do it
Raiden: why
Wanderer: don’t be nosy lil sis
Mrraw: bruh we haven’t even started the story yet
Mrraw: okay I’m out to buy milk like Ruan Mei bye
Sparkle: yo do y’all wanna play a game
Seele: I want to play a GAME
Wanderer: no don’t fall for it if we do nothing she won’t have content
Raiden: let’s play catch my sword
HoD puppet: yay
Mrraw: okay I make room into hallway
Sparkle: go away
Wanderer: no one likes you
Aventurine: yea your writing belongs under a manhole cover
Mrraw: why is he here
Sparkle: its your fault
Mrraw: yo get out you’re not a puppet
okay action in 3, 2, 1, 0, -1, -2…
Seele: so who wants to be my toy?
Wanderer: I’m not into that
Sparkle: nuh uh this toy is mine
Seele: I meant you
HoD puppet: no, do not consent to being dissected
Raiden: what do you mean dissected
HoD puppet: there’s a hallway sis
Wanderer: what’s up with a hallway
Seele: come here and die
Sparkle: oh yo I’m not a puppet I’m clearly Aventurine
HoD puppet: I don’t think its going to work that way
Wanderer: sis let’s run first
Raiden: okay
HoD puppet: its an infinite hallway
Raiden: so we can get infinitely far away
Seele: no
Sparkle: even a fool knows that’s not how it works
Seele: yo why is otto involved
Wanderer: isn’t it a Fatui reference
HoD puppet: at least they didn’t involve your Bronya
Seele: shut
Sparkle: wait isn’t it not canon
HoD puppet: it is canon, and also Bronya’s power tastes good
Seele: on a scale of 100 to 100, you wish to die
Sparkle: why do I feel like I’m the smartest one here
Raiden: no I smarter I can cook well
Wanderer: no you don’t
Seele: anyway how did you become a puppet, Mei
Raiden: what do you mean become
Mrraw: help I’m losing track of who is who
Sparkle: then end this nonsense
Mrraw: no
Wanderer: anyway I should be the smartest one because I went to irminsul
Seele: but you deleted your intelligence
Raiden: can you cook an irminsul
HoD puppet: Seele won’t like you anymore if you’re mean to her friends
Seele: but they’re not her friends
HoD puppet: …
Sparkle: wait isn’t she Seele
Wanderer: she probably has depression
Raiden: you mean like mommy
Seele: I feel like I’m intruding in some weird convo
HoD puppet: well she is but there is a weaker boohoo version
Seele: ugh (swings scythe)
Wanderer: hey why can she summon weapons?
Raiden: I can also summon sword, skill issue
Sparkle: you guys have weapons?
HoD puppet: just steal a weapon fool
Seele: don’t you touch Bronya
HoD puppet: I want to touch this herrscher
Raiden: I’m an archon
Sparkle: isn’t she an emanator
Wanderer: she’s a world renowned chef, Seele you should try her food
Raiden: finally you admitted it
HoD puppet: can confirm Raiden can cook
Seele: this one looks sus
Sparkle: she will get lost looking for ingredients
Wanderer: what do you mean
Sparkle: anyway are any of you geniuses
Raiden: I identify as a genius
Seele: I hate books, need I say more
Wanderer: I live in a library with a god of knowledge
HoD puppet: I’m literally the combined evil of 1000 people
Sparkle: eh close enough, can I borrow your id
Wanderer: I erased myself, I have no id
HoD puppet: I sold my host’s ID on the black market
Raiden: I’m literally the god of a region I don’t need an ID
Seele: can you guys shut up, the sounds you make disgust me
Sparkle: eww puppet racism
HoD puppet: says the one who was cancelled for being racist
Wanderer: what
Raiden: time is not racist, it is equally cruel to all species and this is why I pursue eternity
Wanderer: it’s disturbing that I’m the most normal one here
Sparkle: stay disturbed
HoD: yea you’re the only one who lost their powers
Raiden: I second that
Seele: imagine losing your powers…oh wait
Sparkle: Seele can I have your ID if I can impress you
Seele: you can’t impress me
HoD: even we couldn’t impress her
Wanderer: why do you want an ID so badly
Raiden: imagine wanting an ID
Wanderer: shut, you took my birthright
Mrraw: bro if I end this now its so unsatisfying
HoD: end my suffering
Seele: okay
Raiden: I don’t think that’s what they meant
Wanderer: it’s none of our business, let’s book
Sparkle: imao consent
Raiden: are you actually enjoying this
Sparkle: no but its funny
Wanderer: this is a waste of time
Seele: oui stop running I need to end your suffering
HoD: waitttt
Chains appear from the ceiling randomly to restrain the puppet.
As it is destroyed, a core is left behind and the strings attached to it dissipate.
Raiden: yo that’s so cool why can’t I do it
Wanderer: you’re not Maguu Kenki
Sparkle: imagine not having strings
Wanderer: I actually had strings but some traveller cut them off and gave them to Nahida
HoD: damn that’s gruesome
Seele: why are you back I killed you
Raiden: you didn’t eternally kill them
Seele: I’m not pulling an Otto to kill some pest
Sparkle: let us puppet in peace
Wanderer: yeah you’re the outlier here
Raiden: imagine not having an eternal body
HoD: I fourth that
Seele: bruh there’s an puppet uprising against me
Seele: yo Mrraw do something
Mrraw: okay
Mrraw turns the lights off
Sparkle: that’s not
Raiden: yea
Seele: that’s not what I meant
HoD: she meant she wants you to send me back
Wanderer: send me back instead I want out
Mrraw raises the ceiling height
Seele: you didn’t even do anything
Wanderer: yea
Raiden: lemme light up the room
Sparkle: yo shiny
HoD: hit me mommy
Seele: bruh I didn’t ask for a higher ceiling
Mrraw lowers the ceiling to half of Sparkle’s height
HoD: yo you’re crushing us
Wanderer: bruh my joints
Raiden: I’m literally so tall that I have to lie facefirst
Sparkle: imagine being fat
Seele: are you fatphobic
Sparkle: stop trying to cancel me
Wanderer: raise the ceiling
Mrraw raises the ceiling up (but not the walls)
Wanderer: yo what’s that out there
Raiden: no don’t jump
Sparkle: what would happen if I push someone off
Seele: maybe they’ll go home, let me try with you
HoD puppet: that’s a good way to become Himeko
Sparkle: what’s so bad about being a nosy navigator
Seele: do we tell her?
Wanderer: tell her what?
Raiden: what’s wrong with being the pyro archon
Wanderer: that means they’re not the electro archon
Raiden: aw you’re the best
Wanderer: I meant that they aren’t annoying
Sparkle: hahahaha
Seele: (trying not to laugh)
HoD: yoo sick burn, also how would you guys like to join my hive mind
Seele: so I get to kill all of you?
Wanderer: I will not become Dottore
Raiden: is the hive mind eternal
HoD: we want it to be
Sparkle: can puppets even join a hive mind
HoD: let’s try
Wanderer: no pls
Seele: I miss my other self and Bronya
Sparkle: here I help u
Sparkle transforms into Bronya Rand
Seele: ???
Sparkle transforms into Seele
Seele: you kinda hot but you missed the stigmata on the chest
Seele: wait what am I saying
HoD: imao caught in 4k
Wanderer: that makes no sense you don’t have a camera with you
Raiden: nerd