Chapter Text
I like to think that, one day, I’ll march in a rally like the one in front of me.
It’s a big group of people- and a slim chance of happening. The people are all different shapes, sizes, colors, and styles. They have signs and they’re quiet but making a point as they stand in front of a shabby doctor’s office people only use to get drugs. Some of them have limbs that gleam in the light, and I can’t help but stare. The light is reflecting off them and it’s beautiful.
Romeo has his fingers dug into the fabric of my hoodie like he always does when we’re in a crowd. I can hear him grumbling, and I catch a few words here and there. Radicals, crazy, arrogant, crippled.
I block him out. He doesn’t understand and he doesn’t seem to want to. He’ll only bother to understand if it’s someone he loves. Though, even that didn’t seem to matter to his parents when they made their decision eleven years earlier. Even thinking about it makes my gut tense with anger.
The anger in me is not by any means righteous. I use it for nothing. It festers in my gut and goes nowhere- at least outside. It fuels the voice deep in my head, the one that tells me that everything I do is always wrong, that I don’t actually know anything.
Romeo turns to me, dragging me as he walks faster. We’re passing the rally now, and a man steps forward. His hair is long, dark, and curly, resting a bit past his shoulders. His face is glimmering, not in a metallic way, but like glitter.
“Hello,” he says. He reaches, like he’s going to stop Romeo. “Hello- “
Romeo takes one look at the man and his face twists up. He reels away, pushes him. “Hey. We’re walking here.”
The man blinks, something flashing across his face. “So sorry.”
He looks at me. Something in his eyes sparks, and I want to talk to him. I almost stop right there, but Romeo drags me with a rough tug.
“Don’t entertain them,” he says. “Think of what mom and dad would say.”
I don’t bother reminding him that “Mom” and “Dad” are terms only he can use. They’re Zia and Zio to me, or Portia and Leontes when I’m upset. I only called them that to their faces once, though, which was the only time I ever talked to them about the If’s surrounding my mother being alive.
If you’d just stopped to think. If you’d just given it thought. If you’d just let the doctors do their job.
“I wasn’t going to entertain anyone.”
It’s barely a whisper, and I know he doesn’t hear me because he doesn’t remark. He’s in a mood, I can tell. The way his shoulders are set and the way he keeps his head down like he’s charging- something is bothering him. Besides, the sound is barely intelligible to me, muffled by my mask. He just carries on, dragging me behind him as I stumble to keep up, though he passes me looks over his shoulder that let me know he’s probably silently laughing at me.
He’s smaller than me, but he’s always been faster. One of the many things he always teased me for, which made it one of the many things I internalized. My hands were smaller, my shoulders weren’t as broad, my feet weren’t as big, my bones always jutted out too much.
Romeo’s wristband lights up, a flash of red that adds to the display of colors. I try to squint at the little letters, but his hand reaches up in a flash and dismisses it.
“Who was that?”
“A friend.”
I don’t like the way he says it. Like it’s something he can hold over my head. It’s childish and shouldn’t bother me, but it digs under my skin. I feel the need to snap at him, but, like always, I can’t help but resign.
“Oh.”
He digs his fingers into my hoodie again, and I feel his nails this time. I try to pull away, but it just feels like I’m being scraped open. I stop and run after him.
When we finally reach home, Romeo’s dismissed two more red flashes from his friend. I was able to catch his face once, with an almost giddy smile. I didn’t comment.
He pushes the door open, making a beeline for his room. Zia rounds a corner, staring at him. “Hey, did you two go through the square?”
Romeo ignores her. She grumbles, looking at me. “Well?”
I don’t appreciate being on the receiving end of anger her son should be receiving, but I swallow down a comment. “We did.”
“There was a rally there earlier. Was it still in when you guys went through?”
“Yes.”
Her face scrunches up, much like her son’s earlier at that man in the square. “What did they do to you two?”
“Nothing.”
She doesn’t believe me. I can tell by the way she’s looking me over, trying to be discreet about it. It’s her belief that people, or cyborgs even, that are pro-cybernetics will try to, like, perform surgery in the middle of the street or something. I never really understood and have no intent to try.
“Zia, I’m fine.”
“They didn’t try to touch you or anything? Either of you?”
I think of the man that tried to grab Romeo.
“No.”
She relaxes. She looks down the hall, to Romeo’s room. “Do you know what his deal is?”
“Probably messaging his friend back.”
She looks at me. “Who?”
“I don’t know. Whoever he has set to red.”
“He has someone set to red?”
I sigh. She probably thinks I know who. “Apparently.”
“Who?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Hey, I have work in a bit, so I need to go get ready.”
“Oh, right. Of course.”
I walk to my room and lock the door behind me. I’m relieved at the silence, and I sit on my bed for a few minutes, just taking some deep breaths. I eventually change into some loose clothes that are better for sitting for long hours and eventually leave, securing my mask as I walk to the door.
Zio is in the sitting room when I walk out, and he eyes me like he always does. “Someone’s going to think you’re a criminal with that mask on.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, Zio.”
I never do. I always wear it. I have since I started walking the streets, so for about nine-ish years. No one recognizes me with it on, so I don’t have to worry about awkward conversations with old buddies from school. It started as a safety thing, so no one could see how childish my face was. Now it’s just for my own peace of mind- no one wants to talk to someone when you can’t see their face.
I start walking the familiar path to the tower I work at. It’s broadcasting, so I just play music and ads for my whole shift. I’ve been told I could try to do little talk shows with my buddies, but I always tell my boss I’m not that interesting and we’d lose listens. Besides, I’m not incredibly enthusiastic about it. Sure, I like music, but recently everything has sounded the same: synth beats with some kind of element that’s supposed to be “trippy” or “lucid.” It got boring after the second day of playing it all. And part of the reason I went for the job is so I could work alone. It’s a nice enough way to recharge after too long days.
I’m walking through the square again, the same place that the rally was. It’s still there actually, the same crew as earlier. I slow a bit to watch them, and a girl catches me staring. She’s wearing a cropped shirt that shows her abdomen, and I can see a patch of metal that comes from somewhere above and down. I would guess it covers her whole right side, because her arm and leg are both metal too.
Cybernetics.
Her face hardens. She’s glaring at me, upset. “Do you have a problem?”
It takes me a second to fully comprehend that she’s talking to me. I glance around like an idiot for a second, and when I look at her again, she looks even more annoyed.
“Hello? I’m talking to you.”
“I… No. No, I don’t have a problem. I’m just… I’m sorry. That people are trying to ban what saved you.”
She looks surprised. Something flashes across her face, and she nods. “Thanks. Thanks, it’s nice to hear.”
I wonder how many people think of it like that. I wonder if she’s ever heard that before.
I start walking again, a little faster than I was. A few people glance my way, and I keep my head down-
“Hello, sir! Hello.”
I look up. That man, the one that tried to grab Romeo earlier. He’s talking to me.
I stop. He reaches for me and grabs me for a second before letting me go, like he realizes I won’t leave.
“Yes?”
“Can I ask your opinion on cybernetics?”
Oh boy, can he? How can I put everything I feel to words? It feels like so much, and I don’t want to bore him.
“They help people. A lot of people. I mean, they’re mostly medical. Like, uh, that girl, over there.”
I point to the girl from earlier. The man moves his face, and it erupts in a display of colors, glitter catching the light. His eyes are hard to see through the heavy black eyeliner, which is so at odds with the rest of his face that I can’t help but stare.
“Ah! Juliet.”
I look back. The girl is talking to someone else, and I can see the two are talking more than she did with me.
I remember suddenly that I have a time to check in by. I check my wristband and curse. I start running, racing in the direction of the tower.
***
The road is quiet as I walk through again.
There’s no one here anymore. The rally is over, and it’s relatively late into the night. I’d say most are back at home with-
There’s a figure by the office the rally was in front of. They’re wearing a coat, the collar flipped up. I slow as I walk, eyeing them.
They turn. Their face is sparkling in the lights-
I dip my head down, looking through my lashes to walk. The man nods to me. “Hello again.”
I look up.
Again.
It’s the man from earlier again. I stop walking.
He recognizes me. I don’t know how, but he does. No one has ever recognized me before. I don’t really know how to respond.
“Oh, uh… hello.”
The man smiles at me. “I was so impolite earlier. My name is Mercutio.”
“I’m Benvolio.”
He nods. “Benvolio. Huh. Well, Benvolio- “
Something about the way he says it is different. He doesn’t rush through the word, he pronounces it all carefully, like he’s afraid to misspeak. It makes my heart go a little faster.
“- you seem like a smart man.”
No one’s ever said that to me before. I feel flustered. My hands clench and unclench at my sides.
“Thank you.”
Mercutio looks at me weird. “Can I ask what the mask is about?”
That I can answer.
“I don’t like people recognizing me.”
He laughs. His head falls back, and the sound is like it’s coming right from his gut. “How did that work for you?”
It feels almost friendly, the way he says it. I almost smile.
“Maybe not the best.”
“What are you so worried about? You a memorable man?”
“Not really.”
“Mind if I see?”
I reach up without a second thought. He already recognized me anyway, what would be the point of saying no? The way he’s dressed makes him seem like a big wig, I doubt I’ll see him around much anyway. Especially not with my aversion to most social events.
The air is cool on my face. I take a deep breath, the fabric no longer making my face feel damp.
Mercutio is staring at me. He looks my face over, and I see him arch his brows.
“Very memorable indeed.”
My breath catches. No one has ever said that to me. People don’t compliment me, mostly because I never give them the chance.
I feel my face warm. I drag the mask back up, and I don’t think before I break into a run. I can hear Mercutio yelling behind me, but I don’t bother looking back.
I get home right as dinner ends. I opt out of sitting at the table and listening as Zia and Zio complain about what I played tonight. I take a plate to my room and eat in front of my mirror, staring at my reflection as I do.
Very memorable indeed.
I curl up in bed as soon as I’m done eating.
I definitely don’t think about Mercutio as I force myself asleep.