Chapter Text
~I am not as fine as I seem, pardon
me for yelling, I'm telling you, green gardens
are not what's growing in my psyche; it's a different me,
a difficult beast feasting on burnt trees~
"Do you realize what time it is?" Kira lets out a sigh, leaning against the wall to their shared living quarters as she watches him enter the room after waiting for hours. When she'd returned from sparring practice with some of the newer stormtroopers, she'd expected him to be home already, either hunched over his desk studying, curled up on the couch, or maybe even asleep in bed already. It wasn't uncommon for Kylo to be asleep before her, exhausted from meetings and planning all day but still finished before her late night training sessions and workouts. The past few days had been stressful for him, with the the map to Luke Skywalker right in front of them yet still not in their hands, and Kira knew that he blamed himself for not having it yet. He'd been talking to the Supreme Leader a lot also, and she was becoming concerned that maybe he was being pushed too hard. Sometimes, Snoke had too high of expectations for the young man, and they didn't seem to care how he was doing mentally. Sometimes, he'd come home so frustrated she'd send him right back out to go spend a few minutes at the gym, working off his anger. Sometimes, she even went with him. They were both young and strong, but there was a limit to what they could do. Kira was likely the only one keeping that in consideration, so she did her best to remind Kylo occasionally that he wasn't born invincible. Behind his helmet, he was still human.
"You've got to take a break eventually. You look awful," Kira commands, and he approaches her with a small grin, taking his helmet off and dropping it on the ground carelessly as he walks. It rolls into a chair, but he doesn't notice. She's much smaller than him, with her being fairly short and him being unreasonably tall. She hates it; she wants to be at eye level whenever she's talking to someone.
He walks forward and lightly presses her against the wall, a weary look on his face, and kisses her. His eyes close. She smiles into the kiss, then gently pushes him away, the taste of him still on her lips. She wants him to take her seriously. She sees right through him, and he's starting to fall apart at the seams right now. Kylo hasn't slept for at least three days, too busy interrogating Resistance prisoners, going over battle plans, going to meetings with other important members of the First Order, and monitoring some of the smaller ships sent out to scout. There hasn't even been time for him to sit and meditate, although he told her a few nights ago that he'd found meditating not as necessary as it seemed. He had been moving constantly, working, training, planning, and was starting to adjust to it. He doesn't need sleep. He's only here to take a quick shower before going back out. He can't stay. Kira's overreacting.
There's no need for you to be concerned, Kira. I'm only doing what's necessary; what is asked of me."
Kira shakes her head, her hair falling in her face. She leans forward just enough for their noses to touch, holding his gaze for a few moments. He takes the time to admire her eyes, dark green with flecks of gold, completely unwavering. That's one thing he's always loved about her, since they first met as children; she holds her ground unapologetically, even to men of power like himself. Even to those she loves, if necessary. She would hold her ground until her last breath, and even though he knows he could overpower her in an instant, she wouldn't give in so easily. Kylo knows he has a short temper himself, but she's a whole different story. She looks fragile, but Kira Phoenix, with her copper hair and bold eyes, is not to be messed with.
Kira's still avoiding his lips. He stifles a whine. He's not some horny adolescent boy, though; two can play this game. He slips a hand under her shirt, his thumb rubbing her hip slowly. After a moment, he removes his hand. He sees her throat move as she gulps.She misses his touch just as much as he misses hers.
"Don't give me that crap, Kylo. You won't be able to survive forever like this. Just take a few hours to rest, that's it. Nothing's happening right now out there." She narrows her eyes as she speaks to him, silently daring him to refuse her. He knows he won't be able to win this fight. She won't stop pestering him until he gives in and gets some rest. He had counted on her being gone or asleep when he came back.
That same determination got her a position figuring out battle strategies and training the new soldiers to fight intelligently, even though she had no previous experience doing so before joining the First Order. She knows how to use her anger and persistence to get exactly what she wants. She's a thunderstorm disguised as a rainbow.
After thinking, Kylo eventually nods. A few hours can't hurt; General Hux, the uptight ass who's a thousand times more organized than Kylo will ever be, has everything under control. And like she said, nothing big is happening at the moment. No attacks, no meetings... He's not needed.
"Okay." He steps backwards, reaching out to grab her hands. Then, with a smirk, Kylo tugs her to the bathroom with him. "You look fairly tired, yourself."
While he strips off his layers of black clothing, he watches Kira. She stares pointedly at herself in the mirror, carefully undoing the braids in her red hair. She always wears it up, in a neat bun, instead of getting a regulation haircut. He slowly moves closer to her, then in one smooth motion, his hands slip under her loose shirt then quickly pull it over her head. Kira grins, allowing him to completely undress her as she tries to untangle her hair. When she's completely naked, he stands behind her and plants a few soft kisses on the base of her neck. They move to the shower, and she turns on the warm spray, which, coincidentally, ends up coming down right in his face. He absentmindedly pushes the stream of water out of his face using the Force, and he hears a faint giggle from Kira. He takes a step back then lets the water go back to normal. Kira starts to wash her hair in front of him. He starts to massage her shoulders, undoing the knots from training and working all day. She teaches the stormtroopers to fight, and he knows it's draining.
"How was your day?"
She sighs. "The same as usual. They're smart. Better than the last group. Makes it a lot easier. I showed them some more advanced moves if they ever have to fight hand to hand. Did your meeting go well?"
Kira's proud of her students most of the time. Phasma's too controlling when she trains, but Kira tries to teach them to be smart while staying obedient. She's creative, perhaps a little creative sometimes, but every time they leave the base, more of her students come back than Phasma's.
"You know how Hux is," Kylo murmurs. He hates General Hux. People often mistake Hux and Kira for siblings because they look so alike, but they're so different. Hux is even more controlling than Phasma, and it's worse, since he's a General, whereas Phasma's only a Captain. He's so controlled and organized; the polar opposite of Kylo even on the good days. He knows Hux hates him, but he couldn't care less. They don't need to like each other to work together. Sometimes, though, he thinks Snoke's secretly trying to punish him when he forces the two to work closely for a long period of time.
"He's so proud he got to push the button destroying those planets in the Hosnian system. He won't stop bringing it up, but then he'll scold me for destroying First Order property. And then there's Phasma, who's still completely enraged that one of her stormtroopers defected and aided that Resistance prisoner's escape. She's taking it personally; I think she should be, though, seeing as it's her fault. I was the only one focused on the task in front of us."
Kira nods as he speaks. She's a General, but she refuses to be involved in the meetings and decisions. When Kira's not training, she's drawing up battle plans, occasionally spending time fixing long-forgotten planes, or advising soldiers. She's even talked to Snoke about it, and yet here she is, still staying behind the scenes. Kylo knows that she's the only one who's ever dared defy him. Everyone who knows who she is admires her for that.
"Maybe I'll knock some sense into Hux," she jokes. Kira can actually stand Hux, which is another incredible feat. She's not the most social person, for sure, but somehow, she's just polite enough for Hux to not hate her. Maybe they just want to form some sort of red-haired people club.
"Please do."
They finish up in the shower, then get ready to go to bed. There aren't many options for clothing where they are, so they're limited to mostly grey, black, or white clothing, with the rare muted color finding its way into the clothing in their closet. Kylo chooses to always dress in black. It makes those beneath him fear him. Kira, on the other hand, sticks to grey and maroon, unless she's at a rare meeting or working in the control center, when she wears black like the rest of the Generals. Tonight, she picks out a loose pair of forest green pants and a faded grey shirt he knows for a fact belongs to HIM. He slips into similar grey pants and a black t-shirt, then joins her in the king-sized bed in the corner of their room. She's out before he's even turned the light off with a flick of his wrist, and he can't help but smile. He's lucky to have her.
Every single room on the ship is similar: grey floor and walls, black king sized bed, small bathroom with a walk-in-shower, and a decently sized kitchen. When they were accepted into the First Order, Kira was offered a room of her own, but had instead decided to live with her only companion. She doesn't need many people around her, but she's always needed Kylo. At first, they'd been two confused children, but they're older now, mature, and still not brave enough to be on their own.